And If That Don't Work ch4

[Sunshine Temple]

Here's yet another chapter of my fic that's not a "Fukufic"

So enjoy the next part of my Neo Genesis Evangelion Fic "And If That Don't Work?"

Chapter 4: Resource Management can be found here

And Pat made some TF2 themed art for the story Here

[BF110C4]

Excellent, I just read the new chapter, and as always quality all around. The way the Ayanami sisters regard the death of the Third Branch traitors is good, althrought Shinju should be a little more emphatic with their demise, even while accepting that they do deserve it, she is a little more sensitive to that stuff that her sisters, but you are correct in their treatment of Asuka, after all she is a badly trained rookie trying to pass as an Ace, and they are hardworking and humble veterants that know that the name of the game is Survival of the meanest.

The part of the doll was good, but maybe with a bit more of horror from Asuka's part, after all she saw her mother hanging both herself and a doll which represented Asuka, and that is nightmare worthy.

On the technical side, after been hit into unconsiousness Asuka should have a headache and should be checked by a doctor first in case of a contussion, she is tough but she is 13. (edit: sorry, just readed again that part and she was only knocked down while they got her on the chopper)

[Drawde]

I don't know about elsewhere, if they even have them, but in the U.S. army warrent officers are still officers, and are treated as such. Even though they're noncomissioned.

[Sunshine Temple]

BF110C4

Excellent, I just read the new chapter, and as always quality all around. The way the Ayanami sisters regard the death of the Third Branch traitors is good, althrought Shinju should be a little more emphatic with their demise, even while accepting that they do deserve it, she is a little more sensitive to that stuff that her sisters, but you are correct in their treatment of Asuka, after all she is a badly trained rookie trying to pass as an Ace, and they are hardworking and humble veterants that know that the name of the game is Survival of the meanest.

[Thanks.
[I can have Shinju have a bit more doubt, but not want to express it due to peer pressure from Oneechan.

[Yeah, Asuka's attitude is very off base.

The part of the doll was good, but maybe with a bit more of horror from Asuka's part, after all she saw her mother hanging both herself and a doll which represented Asuka, and that is nightmare worthy.

[Good point. I can attenuate her horror at it.

On the technical side, after been hit into unconsiousness Asuka should have a headache and should be checked by a doctor first in case of a contussion, she is tough but she is 13. (edit: sorry, just readed again that part and she was only knocked down while they got her on the chopper)

[Indeed knocking someone unconscious is very risky, but knocking them down so you can hog-tie them.... less so.
[Still she can be checked out.

Drawde
I don't know about elsewhere, if they even have them, but in the U.S. army warrent officers are still officers, and are treated as such. Even though they're noncomissioned.

[It varies. The only consistent part is that they generally fall between officer and non-comm.
[So I'll have some fun with that. As Shirane can make it even more confusing by pointing the international differences

[Thanks for the comments guy.
[Alterations are up in v1f

[CJN]

The part of the doll was good, but maybe with a bit more of horror from Asuka's part, after all she saw her mother hanging both herself and a doll which represented Asuka, and that is nightmare worthy.

I second that, having her totally freak out would fit.

[Konsaki]

Course, if she freaked out too badly, the sisters would have to report her for an immediate psych checkout...

[Sunshine Temple]

CJN

The part of the doll was good, but maybe with a bit more of horror from Asuka's part, after all she saw her mother hanging both herself and a doll which represented Asuka, and that is nightmare worthy.

I second that, having her totally freak out would fit.

Konsaki

Course, if she freaked out too badly, the sisters would have to report her for an immediate psych checkout...

[Yeah, I wanted a balance between Asuka getting very creeped-out/freaked out and having her not totally loose it.

[So far she's screaming and yelling and ranting. And made Shinju cry.

[Cheb]

>Motherland defeated the fascists, and I suppose that is reason to take away that land from the Fatherland
Hah, a good interplay
I'd never thought of such an application.

>Katrina sighed, a both Igor and Asuka
at?

>Vasiliy Eudoxia
Hmmm... Eudoxia is a female name, doesn't fit as a surname – unless I missed something as usual.

>, but was relieved when the noise was dampened by the firing squad. Their three volleys and the playing of taps concluded a heavy silence came over the ship.
Damn you. That stirred the long buried memories of my grandfather's burial. Made me waste a good napkin, an reassess my life too. What did he achieve, and what did I? I barely knew him, and it was so long ago, I can't even remember the date. Somewhere in the 1990s. I can't help but feel regret, I should have knew him better. I know, we share many personality traits, so I think we had the same base. But what a different height to reach... On the other hand, the early loss of one's father and general civilian war around could be a great motivators. To my shame I don't even clearly remember his rank. Either colonel or sub-colonel of railroad forces – rebuilding the ways, blowing up bridges and the like. He spent a lot of time just building railroads on the far East – both before and after the war. And yet, I know almost nothing of that.
I should have asked my father, who knew all this stuff and could tell me many stories. But I never asked him, and now he is forever behind, in the twentieth century.

[Sunshine Temple]

Cheb
>Motherland defeated the fascists, and I suppose that is reason to take away that land from the Fatherland
Hah, a good interplay
I'd never thought of such an application.

[Thanks. I was thinking of a way for an Azazel officer to be

>Katrina sighed, a both Igor and Asuka
at?

[correct. Nice catch.

>Vasiliy Eudoxia
Hmmm... Eudoxia is a female name, doesn't fit as a surname – unless I missed something as usual.

[Nope. It's incorrect. That's what happens when I deviate from my normal naming convention.
[I guess I can go with Vasiliy Lomonosov for a name.

>, but was relieved when the noise was dampened by the firing squad. Their three volleys and the playing of taps concluded a heavy silence came over the ship.

Damn you. That stirred the long buried memories of my grandfather's burial. Made me waste a good napkin, an reassess my life too. What did he achieve, and what did I? I barely knew him, and it was so long ago, I can't even remember the date. Somewhere in the 1990s. I can't help but feel regret, I should have knew him better. I know, we share many personality traits, so I think we had the same base. But what a different height to reach... On the other hand, the early loss of one's father and general civilian war around could be a great motivators. To my shame I don't even clearly remember his rank. Either colonel or sub-colonel of railroad forces – rebuilding the ways, blowing up bridges and the like. He spent a lot of time just building railroads on the far East – both before and after the war. And yet, I know almost nothing of that.
I should have asked my father, who knew all this stuff and could tell me many stories. But I never asked him, and now he is forever behind, in the twentieth century.

[Wow. There's not much more I can say.
[I'm glad that scene had an affect.

[I put in scenes like that because I always felt the anime was lacking... context.
[There's all these events that are only "real" for an episode or two, and then are all-but forgotten
[And I wanted to show the Pilots a glimpse of the cost of Nerv's actions.

[Thank you very much for commenting, and especially revealing this.
[It's a bit strange, realizing the effect that my work can have, but does show that the story is holding up well.



Added:

And Pat made some TF2 themed art for the story Here

[Dumbledork]

Just finished reading it. Great new chapter.

[Sunshine Temple]

Just finished reading it. Great new chapter.

Excellent. Glad you enjoyed it.

[Dumbledork]

Yeah, I did. Generally I don't care for Evangelion at all (except for Ranma crossovers), but a non emo, female, and creepy Shinji is cool

[Sunshine Temple]

Yeah, I did. Generally I don't care for Evangelion at all (except for Ranma crossovers), but a non emo, female, and creepy Shinji is cool

Non emo? She's a sad shy little girl.

[Dumbledork]

Well, compared to the original Shinji it's a vast improvement.

[Sunshine Temple]

Well, compared to the original Shinji it's a vast improvement.

That is true. Though much of that comes from having a better support structure and people that care about her well being more. Or at least in the case of Gendo, people she thinks care about her.

Unless being a modified clone of Yui makes Gendo think more fondly of his child.