A Game is Fine Too Prologue + Chapter 1

[Sunshine Temple]

It's better than the previous version.

I like the Konastu and Ranma scenes.

I think a big problem you'll have is the severe degree of ick with the subject matter.

And the degree to which Ranma is not getting angry at it.

Which is just something you'll have to deal with.

Also the very visual way that Ranma found out is also more "ick".
Even if it is a fairly accurate way of what would happen if someone changed like that.

[Dumbledork]

I like this version even more. Great job.

[gsteemso]

despite a great degree if revulsion due to the subject matter, I think these two sections are as good as they will get. Accordingly, I will switch my focus to chapter 2 of this and chapter 8 of Permutation. I will post the updated versions you see here when I post chapter two; that way people won't get update notices for existing chapters.