[R 1/2][SM*] Generation Lost ch10

[Sunshine Temple]

After many years here's a new chapter for a fic many of you probably thought of as dead.

Generation Lost chapter 10 Old Friends Made Anew Part 1

[Mitchell]

Well this is a nice surprise. Generation's Lost was probably the first fic of your's I read and it still remains a special place in my memory. So a new chapter is great.

Ranma's having more trouble dealing with herself is appreciated instead of as I remember it jumping in ALL the way which I thought was a bit much.
I liked the way you had some nice scenes with both Sarah and Dan trying to cheer Ranma up. The Talk with Kasumi was very nice, as was the talk with Ukyo which gives some neat idea's for the future.

The scene with Rebecca and Ryouga...I'm not a big fan here, it reminds me much to much of the Succubi bonding conversion process from Return even in execution, and probably 'conversion'. IT just seems a bit repetitive instead of going a different way with Rebecca screwing over Ryouga here. Instead of Princess', go a different way and don't reduce Ryouga here into a drooling idiot.

THat said it wa a minor issue with a otherwise great fic, of which I'm looking forward to more.

[Spokavriel]

"Good, I look forward to talking again my little Rose-hime," Kasumi closed the phone shut and sighed happily. Putting the phone in one of her apron's pockets, she got up and quietly left her room. A hope sparkled in her, one that had been pushed aside very since that disastrous crush in elementary school when she had been too... forward.

A typo got corrected wrong. I'm guessing you wanted ever but it got spell checked into very.

Great chapter not much to pick on. I wonder if Ukyo will ever realize just how smart that phone could end up being. Organic Tech after all.

The only real problem I have is at the start where they are bantering about Nightshade's new template. It seems somehow incomplete. Like they are going through the motions and everything but their location just isn't filled in. And why did you go over the nature of Gosenkugi and his girlfriend again?

Edit: After sleeping I think I can better define what was missing. There isn't much sense of time. Oh sure the phone calls tell us Ranma is in Day for the Kasumi call and Ukyo is about to open when she gets around to it. But other than those calls I don't really have a sense of when anything is taking place. And other than working on The Beast or in the garden the clarity on where is also a bit iffy. Its like Dan came from the garage right into the kitchen but the garage door lead to the den with its conversation pit and most of the computers right?

Just the flow of conversation in that area of the chapter throws off my feel of the space from prior chapters and its hard to define.

There also isn't anything pointing out time relative to other events. The phones alone took time to travel so something to help know the pacing of things couldn't hurt. How long has HB(hacker) been working on the control template for Ryouga's new form?

[Dumbledork]

WOOHOO!!! Finally a new chapter. Thx a lot. THat was a lot of fun. I like what you did to Ryoga. He had it coming.

The ending of the chapter seems a bit abrupt, though.

[Sunshine Temple]

Mitchell

Well this is a nice surprise. Generation's Lost was probably the first fic of your's I read and it still remains a special place in my memory. So a new chapter is great.

[Excellent. I'm glad to have been able to post it.

Ranma's having more trouble dealing with herself is appreciated instead of as I remember it jumping in ALL the way which I thought was a bit much.
I liked the way you had some nice scenes with both Sarah and Dan trying to cheer Ranma up. The Talk with Kasumi was very nice, as was the talk with Ukyo which gives some neat idea's for the future.

[Good good.
[With this chapter Ranma's had time to pause and realize what's happened to her and what it means to be Ranma Rose.
[And knew that her family would want to talk with her about it.
[There's also Ranma looking back to Nerima.

The scene with Rebecca and Ryouga...I'm not a big fan here, it reminds me much to much of the Succubi bonding conversion process from Return even in execution, and probably 'conversion'. IT just seems a bit repetitive instead of going a different way with Rebecca screwing over Ryouga here. Instead of Princess', go a different way and don't reduce Ryouga here into a drooling idiot.

[In the next chapter Ryoga does develop. Espeically as she interacts with more characters.
[The analog to succubae conversion is inevitable.
[I was going for a parallel to what happened to Ranma Rose.
[And having Rebecca also create her own "sister"

[We'll have to see how the next chapter plays out.
[I do know there will be one scene that will read very succubus familiar though. Nuts.

THat said it wa a minor issue with a otherwise great fic, of which I'm looking forward to more.

[That's a relief. Thanks for commenting.

Spokavriel

"Good, I look forward to talking again my little Rose-hime," Kasumi closed the phone shut and sighed happily. Putting the phone in one of her apron's pockets, she got up and quietly left her room. A hope sparkled in her, one that had been pushed aside very since that disastrous crush in elementary school when she had been too... forward.

A typo got corrected wrong. I'm guessing you wanted ever but it got spell checked into very.

[Good catch.

Great chapter not much to pick on. I wonder if Ukyo will ever realize just how smart that phone could end up being. Organic Tech after all.

[Depends on how much she thinks about it.
[She was a bit more distracted when talking with Ranma.
[Though Ranma was being more tightlipped with her than she was with Kasumi.

The only real problem I have is at the start where they are bantering about Nightshade's new template. It seems somehow incomplete. Like they are going through the motions and everything but their location just isn't filled in. And why did you go over the nature of Gosenkugi and his girlfriend again?

[You mean their physical location or on a more narrative sense?
[For Gos I figured a little bit of a reminder could help given how long it's been.

Edit: After sleeping I think I can better define what was missing. There isn't much sense of time. Oh sure the phone calls tell us Ranma is in Day for the Kasumi call and Ukyo is about to open when she gets around to it. But other than those calls I don't really have a sense of when anything is taking place. And other than working on The Beast or in the garden the clarity on where is also a bit iffy. Its like Dan came from the garage right into the kitchen but the garage door lead to the den with its conversation pit and most of the computers right?

[Very good catch on the house layout. That's an easy fix.

[Ah I see, the problem is more a lack of temporal detailing.

Just the flow of conversation in that area of the chapter throws off my feel of the space from prior chapters and its hard to define.

[Is it in one area or in the whole chapter?

There also isn't anything pointing out time relative to other events. The phones alone took time to travel so something to help know the pacing of things couldn't hurt. How long has HB(hacker) been working on the control template for Ryouga's new form?

[Seems like it's more of a problem it the whole chapter itself.
[That's something I can work on. Shouldn't be too hard to put in some more "time-keying"

[Thanks for the comments. I'll have to have some time to put in those corrections.


Dumbledork

WOOHOO!!! Finally a new chapter. Thx a lot. THat was a lot of fun. I like what you did to Ryoga. He had it coming.

[My pleasure.
[Thanks, the changes to Ryoga were a bit of a "Let's see how far I can go" thing.
[With the whole overly pink princess. But that should give some good interaction with Ranma in the next chapter.

The ending of the chapter seems a bit abrupt, though.

[Yeah, this is obviously a split chapter, on the good news the next chapter is already written and is being pre-read.

[Thanks for commenting all of you.

[Spokavriel]

Yeah sorry about being unclear the timing disconnect is everywhere its just that we don't know how good (Hacker Bitch Becka)HBB is at coding. All the examples already in the story are based on her using others work especially in the Golems and Ranma's template.

So even with all she has stolen just how much time and effort did she need to make the template where someone else didn't already start it off?

Does Jusenkyo help similar to a person already being imprinted having magic to work off of with her own design?

She clearly wasn't worried about Ryouga's form in her finished template but was it entirely by design or did she just ignore that usual aspect taken into account for making templates? Was Jusnekyo the reason she could so easily dismiss Ryouga's natural form and do entirely what she wanted?

My mind just keeps tossing up questions when I think about the execution its clear HBB succeeded but was it hard for her? How much of it required her own actual work? This is one of the things that can help define her personal skills as opposed to her hacked crafting.

[LawOhki]

Yeah sorry about being unclear the timing disconnect is everywhere its just that we don't know how good (Hacker Bitch Becka)HBB is at coding. All the examples already in the story are based on her using others work especially in the Golems and Ranma's template.

So even with all she has stolen just how much time and effort did she need to make the template where someone else didn't already start it off?

Does Jusenkyo help similar to a person already being imprinted having magic to work off of with her own design?

She clearly wasn't worried about Ryouga's form in her finished template but was it entirely by design or did she just ignore that usual aspect taken into account for making templates? Was Jusnekyo the reason she could so easily dismiss Ryouga's natural form and do entirely what she wanted?

My mind just keeps tossing up questions when I think about the execution its clear HBB succeeded but was it hard for her? How much of it required her own actual work? This is one of the things that can help define her personal skills as opposed to her hacked crafting.

Do you really need to ask? The story is ending up being another forced feminization of as many characters story. All of Ranma's new family are leaping to become her senshi even though before their templates were wildly different and represented something THEY wanted and spent a great deal of time creating.

And now Alexia has made a return. Ryoga immediately accepts some vague offer of instant power without even attempting to fight Ranma before seeking out a way to get an edge.

That Ranma is actually scared about the situation and how much she's changing is fantastic. But the conversations built around it with Kasumi end up finding more ways for Ranma to alter her personality. Book suggestions on how a princess should act? If Ranma wants to be more decisive then she should be deciding how a princess acts. There's also a lot of jumping to the princess conclusion.

Meh, probably just being too demanding.

[Spokavriel]

Do I need to ask, YES. It helps define the strength of the opposition.

You call the invisible man with the chance for permanent psychosis error template being replaced with a Senshi one or the Virtual Girl who didn't have a combat template at all everyone Leaping to become Senshi? Other than those two I'm so far seeing upgrade suggestions for the templates that Dan and Sarah had already made for themselves.

The Ryouga plot is a bit weak when looking at only it so far... I mean HBB has promised to help with his curse but the way this has gone it appears that all the emotion aspects of free will are now removed from the former him. It was really disturbing seeing everything emotional about Ryouga's personality drained away and replaced but it was also blatant that was a point. Sure Ryouga might still technically have free will but all the emotions are controlled by HBB's template program.

Ranma has just now gotten over the denial over the changes that she's been forcing herself to accept in regaining control.

You have some complaints that make sense but how could a template that was forcing behavioral changes of a princess on a former male be anything but Forced Feminization? This story has been such for at least a decade now. Complaining about that on this fic is like complaining at the sky for being blue.

((Edit: Got carried away with how long the story has been an obvious forced feminization so edited that.))

[LawOhki]

Do I need to ask, YES. It helps define the strength of the opposition.

You call the invisible man with the chance for permanent psychosis error template being replaced with a Senshi one or the Virtual Girl who didn't have a combat template at all everyone Leaping to become Senshi? Other than those two I'm so far seeing upgrade suggestions for the templates that Dan and Sarah had already made for themselves.

Yes because Ranma didn't need to completely rework it in order to remove that and replace it with something else. It's no longer the template they spent a long time creating and refining based around them. With no sense of time that decision to change to match Ranma happens very quickly in the narrative. Considering Ranma is fearful of what changes may be in store for her as she grows and develops, waiting to do changes to others would be prudent lest any special upgrade she can figure out would turn out to be bad long term or if her own programming could even be infectious.

You have some complaints that make sense but how could a template that was forcing behavioral changes of a princess on a former male be anything but Forced Feminization? This story has been such for at least a decade now. Complaining about that on this fic is like complaining at the sky for being blue.

((Edit: Got carried away with how long the story has been an obvious forced feminization so edited that.))[/color]

I wasn't complaining about Ranma's feminization since that's been from the start, it's that now Ryoga, Dan who will eventually get it, and even the other females who weren't overly feminine are slowly getting caught up in it and abiding by the plant programming they now have. I'm kind of curious how long it'll take for all of them to call themselves princesses. Or if Rebecca is going to start snagging random people to send after Ranma. She does remark how satisfying it is to mind rape and physically alter people is.

And another thing about Ryoga, what language are they speaking?

[Sunshine Temple]

Spokavriel
Yeah sorry about being unclear the timing disconnect is everywhere its just that we don't know how good (Hacker Bitch Becka)HBB is at coding. All the examples already in the story are based on her using others work especially in the Golems and Ranma's template.

[As a hint that will become clear in the next chapter, Rebecca is using a bit of her golem expertise on Ryoga. Actually I can add that into this chapter too.

So even with all she has stolen just how much time and effort did she need to make the template where someone else didn't already start it off?

[That's something I can put in too.

Does Jusenkyo help similar to a person already being imprinted having magic to work off of with her own design?

[Pardon? Not sure what you're asking here.

She clearly wasn't worried about Ryouga's form in her finished template but was it entirely by design or did she just ignore that usual aspect taken into account for making templates? Was Jusnekyo the reason she could so easily dismiss Ryouga's natural form and do entirely what she wanted?

[Ah I see. Yes, it was.

My mind just keeps tossing up questions when I think about the execution its clear HBB succeeded but was it hard for her? How much of it required her own actual work? This is one of the things that can help define her personal skills as opposed to her hacked crafting.

[I see where you're going, and I can do that.

++++++++


Do I need to ask, YES. It helps define the strength of the opposition.

You call the invisible man with the chance for permanent psychosis error template being replaced with a Senshi one or the Virtual Girl who didn't have a combat template at all everyone Leaping to become Senshi? Other than those two I'm so far seeing upgrade suggestions for the templates that Dan and Sarah had already made for themselves.

[Correct. Dan and Sarah have already made their points clear.
[And any feminization on Dan's part is done by Allison.

The Ryouga plot is a bit weak when looking at only it so far... I mean HBB has promised to help with his curse but the way this has gone it appears that all the emotion aspects of free will are now removed from the former him. It was really disturbing seeing everything emotional about Ryouga's personality drained away and replaced but it was also blatant that was a point. Sure Ryouga might still technically have free will but all the emotions are controlled by HBB's template program.

[That's correct. I wanted to show Rebecca at her most heavy handed.

Ranma has just now gotten over the denial over the changes that she's been forcing herself to accept in regaining control.

[And to figure out what this actually means to be who she is.

You have some complaints that make sense but how could a template that was forcing behavioral changes of a princess on a former male be anything but Forced Feminization? This story has been such for at least a decade now. Complaining about that on this fic is like complaining at the sky for being blue.

[Yes. The story is one of forced feminization.
[That said, it has been limited in scope.
[At least relatively speaking.
[As it's been Ranma and Ryoga. With some aspects on Dan and Gos.

((Edit: Got carried away with how long the story has been an obvious forced feminization so edited that.))


[And yes, good catch on the language between Ryoga and Rebecca, Law.

[Sunshine Temple]

Okay put up an updated version.

Cleared up that typo. And put in more temporal queues. And shored up the Ryoga/Rebecca dynamic a bit

Updated with V1e

[Spokavriel]

Something silly just occurred to me. Ever since merging with the Template has Ranma once taken a look at herself without makeup or even gone swimming or taken a bath? Its been made clear that her template maintains its self easily but what does that mean for normal activities?

I'm going to read the revised chapter now.

[kitten]

I got the impression that unlike Ryouga's magically applied layer of makeup, since she is the template and the template is her she just decides what her "makeup" should look like and that's how she looks, so it wouldn't wash off while swimming. It's less like "makeup" and more like "tattoo." I assume that's what you're getting at.

Also, does "part 1" imply we can see "part 2" soon, or are we about to get a chapter of Windborne or Gunslinger Moon?

[Sunshine Temple]

Spokavriel

Something silly just occurred to me. Ever since merging with the Template has Ranma once taken a look at herself without makeup or even gone swimming or taken a bath? Its been made clear that her template maintains its self easily but what does that mean for normal activities?

[kitten guessed it spot on.
[It's not really makeup. It's more that Ranma's adjusting the color or her skin.
[Like when she made herself look all green when talking with Kasumi.

I'm going to read the revised chapter now.

[Cool. Hope it works out well.

kitten

I got the impression that unlike Ryouga's magically applied layer of makeup, since she is the template and the template is her she just decides what her "makeup" should look like and that's how she looks, so it wouldn't wash off while swimming. It's less like "makeup" and more like "tattoo." I assume that's what you're getting at.

[Correct. It's like how Ranma made herself look all robot and then all dryad when talking with Kasumi.


Also, does "part 1" imply we can see "part 2" soon, or are we about to get a chapter of Windborne or Gunslinger Moon?

[Thanks for commenting!

[Yes Part 2 has already been written. It's with prereaders.

[There is quite a bit written for the next chapter of Windborne.

[However my current writing is doing the fix/split for Strained Harmony.

[Spokavriel]

It just came to mind because I was thinking about the glitter pool dream. Swimming or bathing hasn't even been hinted at since before the merger. Although it does leave me wondering if the template merged girl and Not so Artificial intelligence girl have the ability to see a genetic baseline default appearance even if they want to.