by lwf58 » Fri Jun 08, 2007 10:53 pm
All Agents are expected to have a strong stomach when working with the Brood. You can count on witnessing truly horrific combat scenarios, which often involve sights that Viet Nam did not prepare you for. So with that in mind:
Vomiting is forbidden. So is airing acid-flavored stew, letting loose a belch too far, aerial bile maneuvers, or launching a ballistic lunch. Under no circumstance may you barf, bark up breakfast, be a food fountain, be the mother bird, blow beans, blow biscuits, or blow cookies. Of course, blowing chunks is right out. Nor may you blow liquid kisses to the China goddess, bounce rubber food, bow before the porcelain throne, bring back the baby carrots, yodel the Brooklyn mating call, play the bulimic symphony, burp for the hearing impaired, or buy a round-trip meal ticket. You are not allowed to call Ralph on the big white telephone, call the dog to dinner, make carpet asterisks, imitate a carrot fountain, cast your bread upon the waters, cavitate, chew backwards, chuck your Cheerios, chunder, call chunks ahoy, clean the backs of your teeth, commit esophagus abuse, engage in commode hugging, cook up a pavement pizza, or curl and hurl. Regulations disallow a debut at the vomitorium, decorating the porcelain, deja spew, diarrhea the friendly way, displaying the lunch menu, driving the big white bus, dropping a few friends off at the pool, or dry heaves.
Always remember, the dignity of the Company's public image is in your hands.
(I'll just stop now. This can go on almost indefinitely!)