Dumbledork wrote:Oh, and I think there were a lot of comma placement mistakes, but as I'm not that good with commas myself I prefered not to correct anything. After all I enjoyed the story just as much.
DarkStar could accept crossing plans of existence to visit family, but not just to find a quiet place to think.
"Give just her the benefit of the doubt then," DarkStar suggested.
DarkStar shifted under the gaze of her table mates. She sighed. "Umm... Usagi... but that's too much of a long shot. I need someone who can accept me and... eventually... is willing to give up their humanity."
PCHeintz72 wrote:Well... got a chance to read this. A couple items:
Just a comment. While I had been expecting this, it is a bit of a disappointment. I personally dislike Usagi/Ranma matchups, though at least this one has grown. However, my main dislike of this match in this story is it satisfies people wanting to get the pattern silvers together and decreases tension. I prefer them separated, it increases tension.
Oh? You think that Ranma having an interest in Usagi will decrease tension?
Heh, I'm not to sure about that.
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