Cliched 13

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Re: Cliched 13

Postby LawOhki » Thu Jun 13, 2013 1:27 pm

Revised the last scene a fair amount so Ranma doesn't just run off to end it. Decided that I needed to make Ranma a bit more possessive for a secret reason that'll come up later. Hana knows but she's not going to tell. :twisted:

---------

“Just a message from my sister asking how I was.” The redhead sighed. “I don’t know what to send back, do you have any ideas?” She asked no one in particular.

“Why not just that you’re alive and well?” Kasumi suggested and Ranma just shrugged in non-commital.

“I think something more personal is warranted.” He added, not knowing all that much about Michiko but Ranma seemed to view her in a positive light.

“Hana, do you think you could send a message back for me as well?” Kasumi asked the familiar who nodded rapidly.

“I’m not sure.” The ferret seemed to slow down for a moment. “Yup I can!” Hana agreed to Kasumi’s request and happily bounced in place.

Favian caught a dark look cross Ranma’s face at Kasumi, the smaller tiefling opening her mouth as to say something before she was overcome by a coughing fit. Ranma hacked violently into her hands, interrupted Kasumi delivering a message to Hana. The redhead curled up tightly as her chest heaved, her large wings flared with each cough, knocking over a donated antique oil lamp to spill its contents over the floor.

“Ranma!” Kasumi exclaimed in alarm sliding across the floor to hover helplessly for several seconds before Ranma’s coughing fit ended. “Are you alright?” She asked tentatively as Ranma pulled her hands away from her mouth to reveal several specks of blood on her palms.

“Kasumi, please tend to the oil.” He instructed, seeing that his relative was starting to panic. “I’ll get Ranma back to the hospital.”

“I’m fine.” Ranma wheezed, finding a cheap looking piece of fabric to hastily wipe the blood off her hands. “Really.” She tried to reassure at his dubious stare. “Not like they could do anything anyways.”

“Unfortunately.” He sighed, moving to the side to allow Kasumi access to clean up the lamp oil. “How embarrassing, my student being so inept at controlling herself.” He lamented dramatically, trying to lighten the mood slightly.

“Don’t talk like my Pop.” Ranma’s eyes fell and her wings slumped. “Sorry about the mess, Kasumi.”

“It’s alright, so long as you’re fine, that’s all that matters.” The blonde answered, mopping up the thick liquid.

“I wish he was here.” The redhead turned in place to put the piles of gifts behind her and pulled her knees up to her chest. “This is all his fault after all.”

“Your current situation would be your fault.” He reached out to put a hand on her shoulder to be reassuring but her own snapped out to catch his.

“I accepted your apology, I didn’t say you could touch me.” She warned softly before releasing him.

“Right.” He nodded, realizing that his words from the other night had done more damage than intended. “I did want to ask you about your battle with Ladon.”

“He’s dead, isn’t that enough?” Ranma snapped as best she could with her soft voice, shoulders jerking with a small cough.

“You know through experience that Ladon had spells for mind control, I just want to know you weren’t exposed to any of them.” He explained seriously.

“So what if he did try one? I obviously stopped them from working otherwise I wouldn’t have shoved a void spear through his skull.” She answered evenly like it had been an everyday event.

“Even a little bit is too much. Answer me seriously.” Favian tried to make eye contact with her but Ranma kept looking away. “Did he cast such a spell on you?”

“No-- he tried, but I killed him before he could use it.” Ranma finally admitted, still not meeting his eye. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” She warned. “I don’t understand why everyone is bugging me to talk about it. He’s dead, his kids are dead, I won.” The Tiefling finally looked him square in the eye with a hollow glare.

“Alright.” He sighed, wishing he hadn’t destroyed Ranma’s trust. “Then relax and enjoy your victory. I’ll see you tonight.” His knees protested as he rose back to a standing position. “Kasumi would you see me out?”

“Of course.” His great granddaughter answered, sharing a look of concern with him that Ranma couldn’t see.

When they were all the way down the steps and away from the Phoenix standing guard, he finally addressed Kasumi. “Are you up to helping Ranma get through this?” His hand picked doctor was going to be visiting to try and give Ranma a neutral person to confide in. But Kasumi lived with the cursed teen.

“I think so.” Kasumi admitted tentatively. “Are you sure Ranma’s alright?”

“I think Ranma has been forced to endure a traumatic event she was not truly ready for and needs support, even if it’s just you continuing to be a friend.” Favian cursed his brother and wished that he knew how things would turn out.

“I’ll try my best, grandfather.” Kasumi squared her shoulders confidently before glancing nervously back towards the steps. “Ranma’s my friend and I won’t let her down.”

“I know you will.” Favian allowed himself a moment to hope that everything would in fact work out for the best. “And don’t forget to take care of yourself, Ranma’s not the only one who’s important.”

“Thank you again.” She bowed to him. “I look forward to tonight.”
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Re: Cliched 13

Postby LawOhki » Fri Jun 21, 2013 9:51 pm

Later that day

Ranma didn’t remember falling asleep but she had been very tired after the gift sorting had finished. She assumed Kasumi had shoved a pillow under her head and covered her with a blanket. What had woken her was a pair of high pitched voices arguing animatedly next to her head.

“What are you two fighting about now?” Ranma asked blearily and rubbed at her eyes, noticing that Saffron had been sleeping in a makeshift crib constructed of her pillow for kneeling and some boxes placed around it.

“Oh good you’re up, I wanted to ask if you had a message yet?” Hana asked, hopping around Pepa who had been hovering between them.

“I told this demon thing that you needed to sleep.” Pepa protested and tried to shove Hana away.

“I don’t have a message yet.” Ranma answered the familiar and coughed lightly into her hand.

“See! See!” Pepa was finally able to push the much larger Hana slightly away. “She needs rest not you bothering her!”

“I’m not bothering her, you are!” Hana contorted around Pepa to run back and sit in front of Ranma.

“That’s it!” Pepa exclaimed and raised both hands over her head, a glowing red mallet appearing within her grasp before swinging it down to impact with the top of Hana’s head. “Demon be gone!” Hana vanished in a puff of smoke and Ranma’s jaw dropped in shock.

Pepa blinked repeatedly at the spot where Hana had been sitting before dropping her little mallet. “I did it.” A huge smile spread over the fairies face. “I did it!” She shouted and started to fly around the room screaming about how she had finally banished someone.

Saffron stirred in his crib at the fairy’s exuberance, catching Ranma’s attention. “Pepa, quiet down.” She said in a loud whisper with a small cough, unable to raise her voice further.

“But I did it!” Pepa rushed over to flutter close to Ranma’s face. “I banished that demon creature!”

Before Ranma could chastise Pepa for actually succeeding at her original purpose, there was a soft pop above the fairy, and with a puff of white smoke Hana reappeared. The weasel caught Pepa’s head and shoulders in her mouth before falling to the floor. “Gah you!” Hana slurred proudly as Pepa struggled to pull herself free.

“That’s enough.” She snapped, glaring at her sister’s familiar. “Let her go.”

Hana wilted under Ranma’s tone and opened her mouth enough for Pepa to wiggle free. “Sorry.”

“I’m sticky again!” Pepa bemoaned, trying to wipe saliva off her face. This was the final straw to wake Saffron up who started to cry loudly and squirm around.

Ranma grabbed both of the spell creatures, Hana by the scruff of her neck, and Pepa by the legs to stomp over to the door. “Argue and bicker all you want out here.” She released the two outside at the top of the steps and slammed the door in their faces.

“You’re fine.” She groaned and picked Saffron up to try her best at getting him to calm down again.

zx

“Awww.” Pepa kicked at an imaginary rock in midair. “You weren’t really banished were you?” She asked the familiar.

“Nope nope.” Hana chirped and sat down.

“Awww.” She repeated, wishing she had something to wipe away Hana’s saliva. Once again, the very thing she had been made to do, was the thing that she could not do. Maybe Ranma was right and she should stop trying to be a banishment spell, if she had ever really been. It had never endeared her to either Ranma or Kasumi.

“I can’t get my message if I remain out here.” Hana pouted.

‘And if she gets that message then she’ll leave.’ Pepa realized, a plan to act friendly with the familiar quickly forming within her mind. “If we don’t fight, Ranma won’t throw us out again.” She pointed out.

“I don’t know, sometimes when they’re with babies, Succubae can be mean.” Hana responded doubtfully.

“Then it’s a good thing Ranma’s only half!” She smiled brightly.

“That’s true.” The weasel gave her the equivalent of a smile.

“Now we just need to get in.” She crossed her arms and scrunched up her face in thought.

“Oh that’s easy.” Hana smirked and ducked under the door. Squirming and struggling to get through the small space, the weasel’s tail finally vanishing to the other side. Several seconds later, the door knob turned, and swung open to reveal Hana perched on the handle. “Ta da!”

“Why didn’t you just do that from the outside?” Pepa asked curiously, floating upwards to look Hana in the eye. “It wasn’t locked.”

“This was funner.” The white furred weasel answered before dropping down from the door knob to run towards Ranma.



---------------

Cue mortal combat music

Pepa brandishing a knitting needle spear. "There can be only one magical creature in this house, and that's me!"

Hana "Come at me bro."
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Re: Cliched 13

Postby Dumbledork » Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:00 pm

Heh. Now Ranma has to deal with two annyoing familiars. Wonder how Ranma's sister will react once Hana tells her Ranma got a baby.
And that's the bottom line 'cause Dumbledork said so.

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Re: Cliched 13

Postby LawOhki » Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:43 pm

Dumbledork wrote:Heh. Now Ranma has to deal with two annyoing familiars. Wonder how Ranma's sister will react once Hana tells her Ranma got a baby.

Actually Ranma is going to go all motormouth into detail for everything and Hana will get 'full'.It's like talking on the phone! And Ranma is supposed to slowly be getting more girly. Nodoka will hear about the baby and get kind of over zealous leading to a misunderstanding. Can't have them patching things up too soon. :twisted:

Might as well post a little something since I haven't for a while.

----

Ranma took several slow breaths as deeply as she could before she would begin coughing and pointedly ignored the two magical beings who were attempting to be perfectly quiet now that Saffron was once again asleep. Changing the size of her wings had been one of the earliest things she had ever learned about this body. Without the barrier, her expanded reserves of infernal magic made the process incredibly unwieldy. Like she was trying to balance a pin on a table while someone continually shook it.

“What are you trying to do?” Hana asked, interrupting her concentration and completely ruining the state she had been cultivating.

Sighing, she slowly looked towards her sister’s familiar. “I am trying--.” She paused in annoyance. “To shrink my wings.”

“Michiko always uses all of her aura to do that.” Hana didn’t pick up on Ranma’s irritation. “Are you doing it a new way?”

“Well-- no.” Ranma blinked several times. Up until becoming Favian’s student she had never been able to tell what part of her aura she had used to accomplish body modifications. With the barrier in place, she had completely ignored it because her infernal side was being completely suppressed, and she had avoided any kind of changes.

It seemed too obvious, but after just a moment she was able to feel her wings shrink. She had to keep concentrating due to her overall lack of control of her aura now, but it was working. Experimentally spreading the extra appendages, she let them relax again before she lost her concentration. Maintaining this state would take some getting used to, it was like she was trying to flex her bicep and tricep at the same time, while still trying to move her arm.

Ranma felt embarrassed over having to take advice from a cute little familiar but she had been doing it wrong. “Thanks Hana.” She finally decided to at least acknowledge the spell creatures contribution.

“Welcome.” Hana gushed and received a brief jealous glare from Pepa. “You have a party tonight right? What are you going to wear? Huh? Huh?”

“I’m just going over to Favian’s.” She shrugged, having had other more important things on her mind.

“Shouldn’t you look nice?” The weasel quirked her head to one side.

“Ranma always looks nice!” Pepa butted in too loudly before catching herself and glancing nervously at Saffron who remained asleep. “Right?” She asked quietly.

“I guess I could see if I got anything that fits.” Her chest puffed up a bit inpride and she couldn’t stop a small smile from spreading across her face. “This tunic is getting kind of worn.” She commented while picking at the well worn fabric of her male tunic, and walked over to the pile of clothing she had separated earlier.
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Re: Cliched 13

Postby LawOhki » Mon Aug 19, 2013 2:29 pm

Kasumi wasn’t sure on how she should feel about the scene that greeted her upon returning to her apartment. The baby Saffron was happily giggling from his perch on a cushion as Hana and Pepa argued about whether or not Ranma should wear pants. Hana was winning this argument because she was running around with the article of clothing while Pepa chased her. Ranma herself was standing by holding a blue garment, looking thoroughly disgusted by the two magical creatures as they feuded.

Ranma was also naked as the day she was born, though that wasn’t really the best phrase to describe the redhead. Blushing fiercely and averting her eyes from the cursed teen’s form, she coughed into her hand. “Having fun?” She asked with a bit of amusement.

“Little bit.” Ranma answered with a shrug, shifting her weight onto one hip. “My wings are-- back to normal.” The redhead pointed out.

“That’s good, but is there are reason you’re naked?” Kasumi asked, uncomfortable with Ranma’s casual nudity. Even if it was normal for her roommate to forget clothing around the home. “We’ll need to leave for Favian’s soon.”

“Well I am trying to get dressed.” Ranma answered and pointed at the magical beings. “But they keep getting in the way. And it’s way too cold out to not to wear pants.” She snatched a pair of black slacks from a disappointed Hana. “Thought I’d see if anything I got would fit since I had time.”

“And they’re helping?” She asked dubiously, glancing at Pepa who had moved to hover nearby and Hana who was sitting near Ranma’s hooves.

“Live and learn.” Ranma shrugged.

zx

Ranma stopped to look upwards, her eyes tracing the line of destruction that arced down the side of a building to the ground where the spell had lost its consistency and exploded. When simple spells no longer had a will controlling them the power simply expended itself as quickly as possible. She had learned that the hard way by having many of her early spells explode in her face. Since no one else had been throwing around spells of this magnitude, that left either Raxus or herself as the originator.

“Something wrong?” Pepa asked from Ranma’s left.

“Just thinking.” She answered absently before turning away from the ruined building. Hana was trotting along near her hooves, occasionally vanishing to check out something that caught the familiar’s eye. Kasumi volunteered to carry Saffron in case Ranma suffered anymore coughing fits. And because Ranma thought it threw off the Phoenix guards who were still suspicious of Kasumi.

In the heat of battle she had been throwing around spells bigger and smaller than the one that had caused this without a second thought. If anyone had been nearby they would have been killed. Control over her physical strength had been drilled into her head to the point where it was instinctual. This was unacceptable, the danger posed by magic was simply too great to be so frivolous with its use. A punch could only do so much, a fireball could kill dozens.

The elevator up to the Park area had been destroyed at some point, so they had to take the steps instead. There were an increased number of guards keeping watch over the access point. Normally they would hassle either her or Kasumi about going up into the school only area. This time they greeted her with muted gratitude and gave her a wide berth to pass. Not knowing how to respond, she just nodded her head towards each of them.

“It’s almost as though nothing happened--.” Kasumi commented as they were walking around the undamaged park towards Favian’s home. “If you ignore the big toppled over tower that is.”

“Yea.” Ranma trailed off, glancing at the broken spire. The top portion had fallen in the opposite direction but she could still see some of it over the tree line. Most of the destruction was contained to the side of the city facing Ladon’s volcano, but agents of the Dragon had been busy setting fires and causing destruction before they could be stopped.

Strangely, it was Favian who met them at the door rather than any of his servants. “You’re late.” He teasingly chastised, stepping back to allow them entry.

“Ranma’s turning into quite the clotheshorse.” Kasumi’s mouth quirked into a smile. “Wouldn’t leave the house without just the right outfit.”

“That’s not true!” She protested as loudly as she could and glanced away evasively. ‘Just hard to pick sometimes.’ Ranma admitted to herself. “Anyone is a clotheshorse compared to you, you have like three dresses.” She taunted back, trying to draw attention away from her vanity.

“Because I don’t spend my time ruining them.” Kasumi shifted Saffron in her arms after he started to squirm.

“I was joking.” Favian gestured towards the interior. “You can return to your families.” He commanded the two Phoenix.

“My Lord, we can’t shun our duty.” The Phoenix on the left, Ratha answered.

“Good luck with that.” Ranma snorted. “I keep telling them to leave me alone but they aren’t going to leave him.”

“No harm will befall your Lord Saffron.” Favian asserted. “And I will not have you hovering at my door or inside my home. Now leave and enjoy the evening because I will not repeat myself.” He punctuated his command by closing the door roughly in their faces. “You’re lucky to have such a dedicated people.” The orange eyed man poked at a smug looking Saffron’s stomach briefly before moving into his home.

“I feel bad for them.” Kasumi glanced out a nearby window. “They’re just going to go stand by the gate.”

“Saffron is incredibly important to them.” Favian commented. “He’s hope for their future even if the path to rebuilding their people will be a long and perilous one.”

“Then they should hurry up and decide who gets him.” Ranma honestly didn’t know why they were taking so long.

“Maybe they can’t find anyone better?” The elderly man shrugged. “So they have made a decision and are just trying to figure out a way to tell you.”

“They better not have!” She tried to shout, her voice falling off suddenly. “I can’t be stuck with him!”

”It’s a good thing you can still take a joke.” Favian smirked, earning a very dark glare from her. “What? You’re the hero of the city, everyone is alive because of you. Compared to you, all the Phoenix are lacking.”

“I know I can do more than anyone else here.” Ranma’s eyes fell to the floor. “But if I hadn’t been here, someone else would have done it. Something else would have come up.” She wanted to add that if it wasn’t for that woman removing her fear she would have been unable to do anything. But it would be admitting just how scared she had been of Raxus to accept such a deal. “I’m not the hero you’re all making me out to be.”

“Kasumi, I think we’re in luck.” Favian looked like he wanted to reach out again and pat her on the back but refrained. “We’ll be able to fit in the same room as Ranma’s ego tonight.”

‘Ass.’ Ranma simmered at her difficult confession being turned into a joke.

zx

The Next Morning

Ranma was surprised to be woken up early by a group of eight Phoenix at her door. She recognized several of them but didn’t know all of their names. There were three men and one woman dressed in full armor with various bladed weapons. The others were in casual clothing and one carried a small bag. Unsure of what the sudden visit meant, she invited them in.

“Did you really need to bring those?” She asked, eyes lingering on the weapons.

“While we cannot hope to repay your service in returning our Lord Saffron to us, we don’t wish to impose upon you to protect him further.” An elderly Phoenix with long feathers swept back from his head bowed respectfully to her while leaning on a cane. The pheasant man was the highest ranking Phoenix left, second only to Saffron, and kept his name secret.

“You’re welcome.” She tried to sound gracious for their praise but didn’t know what was expected in this kind of situation. Truthfully she suspected they didn’t either, so she would just wing it if they were.

“He’s been no problem at all.” Kasumi added while holding the infant Saffron.

“Still, he needs to be back among his own people.”

“So how does that happen?” Ranma asked. “If I’m out of sight he won’t stop crying.”

“With one of these.” The pheasant man carefully held up an egg. “Short of reverting him back to an egg once again, this is the only method to change who he is imprinted on.”

“And who gets him?” She asked, wanting to know that he would be in good hands.

A female Phoenix in her early twenties that Ranma didn’t recognize stepped forward and bowed to her. “I’ve been selected to care for Lord Saffron, my name is Cassia.” Her wings, a mix of bright gold and black, shifted nervously as she waited for some unspoken judgement.

“I thought you were waiting for Kiima?” Ranma didn’t know this woman and would have prefered someone that she did.

“Lady Kiima is indisposed as you know and waiting will only make the process more difficult.” The elderly Phoenix answered. “Is there a problem?”

“No, no problem.” She glanced at Saffron. “So what do we have to do?”

“We need only a small amount of space. The egg will be broken near him and it will form a new shell around him. When this is broken, he will imprint upon the first person he sees.”

“Seems easy enough.” She nodded, not feeling particularly positive about this. Saffron had accidentally imprinted upon her and would now be purposely given no choice. “Does it ever wear off?”

“No, the imprinting is forever.” The pheasant man answered as he instructed the Phoenix to spread out except for Cassia before he addressed Kasumi. “My Lady, please place him in the open area between us.”

“I’ll do it.” Ranma volunteered and took the infant from Kasumi. “He locked on to me after all, right?” She added at Kasumi’s curious stare.

Gently placing the baby in the center of the Phoenix, Ranma found it wasn’t that easy as he clutched at her tunic, not wanting to leave her side. “All you have to do is sit here, so be good.” Patting him on the head, she took several steps back. Saffron seemed to think it was a game because he crawled towards her while giggling happily.

“I don’t think he’s going to sit still.” She laughed to herself and picked him up again.

“You’ll just have to hold him.” The elderly Phoenix instructed, placing the small egg down on the floor. “Step away as soon as I crush it or you’ll be caught in the shell as well.” He told her, tapping the floor with his cane.

“Alright.” She nodded and knelt down to hold him in place. “Guess this is it.” Ranma smiled down at the infant. Saffron’s red orange eyes stared up at her in joy at being held by her. “Be good for Casio.” She added, her voice catching.

“It’s Cassia.” The Phoenix corrected.

“Now would be the time to move away.” The pheasant themed Phoenix said and brought his cane down to crush the egg he had placed on the floor.

Ranma’s first instinct was to pull Saffron away from the gooey fibrous strings that exploded out of the egg to latch onto the baby. Seeing the look of terror in his eyes as he cried out while struggling to reach out to her, she immediately began to prepare a fire spell to burn away the strings and free him.

Two hands grabbed her by the shoulders and forcibly turned her away from Saffron being swallowed up as he screamed for help. Seeing that it was Kasumi stopping her, Ranma buried her face in the larger girl’s chest, and tried to cover her ears to block out his cries.

“Do not fret.” The elderly Phoenix man told her after Saffron’s voice was abruptly cut off as the egg closed fully. “He won’t remember this.”

‘I’d rather not as well.’ She thought darkly and tried to bury the image of Saffron being swallowed by the egg. “This isn’t hurting him, is it?” She had not carried him from Ladon’s volcano just to have be hurt by his own people.

“He’s already fast asleep, there’s no physical pain. Cassia, break the shell and make sure you’re the first one he sees.” He ordered.

The woman nodded and knelt reverently at Saffron’s egg. Running her claws along the surface delicately, she suddenly dug them in to break the shell. Scratching a circle into the egg, Cassia slowly pulled the material away to reveal Saffron sleeping within. Turning the egg so that he was facing her, the Phoenix woman pulled more of the egg away.

“My Lord, it’s time to wake up.” Cassia whispered reverently and places her clawed hands on either side of his head.

Ranma watched the infants eyes open as though he had been in a deep sleep, latching on to the first figure that he saw in Cassia. ‘I don’t want to watch this.’ She realized and moved away, purposely ignoring what was going on. Kasumi followed and stood nearby in a show of emotional support.

She paid no mind to the Phoenix as they gathered up the discarded egg shell and began to file out of her apartment. Ranma couldn’t help but watch as Cassia carried Saffron out, the infant giving her only a brief glance. The elderly Phoenix man nearly made her jump out of her skin as he patted her on the back.

“You have our eternal thanks.” His eyes twinkled in amusement at her reaction. “The Phoenix are forever in your debt.”

“Yea well you better raise him right.” She scoffed, feeling sick over what the Phoenix could do with magic eggs.

“He is the light of our people, we do not take this lightly.” He responded, offended at her insinuation.

“Sorry.” Ranma knew from talking with Kiima how important Saffron was to them. It could be taken as a grave insult to insinuate that they would mistreat him. Even if Ranma thought that was what they had done with the egg.

“All is forgiven, we can’t expect an outsider to understand.” The pheasant man replied.

“Then did you need anything else?” She questioned with more force than she wanted, eager to be done with this matter.

“No-- we could not possibly ask anymore of you.”
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Re: Cliched 13

Postby Konsaki » Mon Aug 19, 2013 7:04 pm

I liked this post. The characters all seemed... 'real' and genuine in it.
Course, now Ranma has nothing readily available to distract her from everything other than the familiars and Kasumi. I'm looking forward to seeing where you have the pair go from this point.
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Re: Cliched 13

Postby LawOhki » Mon Aug 19, 2013 7:42 pm

Konsaki wrote:I liked this post. The characters all seemed... 'real' and genuine in it.
Course, now Ranma has nothing readily available to distract her from everything other than the familiars and Kasumi. I'm looking forward to seeing where you have the pair go from this point.

Where are they going? To a party of course! :mrgreen: What? I can't forget that all the nobles/rich folks are going to want to get buddy buddy with their city savior.

I do have to see if I can add some more emotion to the Saffron bit and maybe see if I can reword some things to get across the racism coming from the Phoenix towards Ranma. 'Sure you can save our leader, be a hero to our people, but you're not one of us, and we can't let you forget that.'
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Re: Cliched 13

Postby Konsaki » Mon Aug 19, 2013 11:15 pm

I do have to see if I can add some more emotion to the Saffron bit and maybe see if I can reword some things to get across the racism coming from the Phoenix towards Ranma. 'Sure you can save our leader, be a hero to our people, but you're not one of us, and we can't let you forget that.'
Probably the easiest way to do that would be the elder pheonix say something to the effect of 'He belongs with his own kind' or something like that. Anything more along the lines that insinuate that he will be better cared for by the pheonix without outright saying anything racist.
From what I got from the elder pheonix guy, he at least knows and exicutes diplomacy even if he's still xenophobic.
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Re: Cliched 13

Postby Dumbledork » Tue Aug 20, 2013 3:21 am

Excellent work. Nothing to critisize.
And that's the bottom line 'cause Dumbledork said so.

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Re: Cliched 13

Postby LawOhki » Tue Aug 20, 2013 5:08 am

Konsaki wrote:Probably the easiest way to do that would be the elder pheonix say something to the effect of 'He belongs with his own kind' or something like that. Anything more along the lines that insinuate that he will be better cared for by the pheonix without outright saying anything racist.
From what I got from the elder pheonix guy, he at least knows and exicutes diplomacy even if he's still xenophobic.

It's hard to have him be too subtle when in this reality his racism wouldn't be uncommon. Plus as a Phoenix he'd be looking down at outsiders. The wingless ones but Ranma as a tiefling would still ping on that scale in a different way. So it'll have to walk a fine line of being reverent enough towards their hero yet still being a spit in her face.

And the party will be pretty much the last event in Lutansk before I skip back to Nerima. Have to introduce someone with green eyes a bit more and have Ranma get pestered by suddenly interested nobles.
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