The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Where stuff about fanfiction that doesn't fit into any other category goes. Try to make sure that new topics here actually couldn't actually go somewhere else.

Postby Neko- » Mon Jun 09, 2008 7:11 am

This one had me actually laughing out loud:

Relentless, by Grayson Towler (Completed)

"ALAS!" Kunou bellowed, nearly startling her off her feet. "I cannot rest until I compose a poem worthy of thy love!"

"Oh no..."

She tried to stop him, but he began too quickly for her to act. Before she knew what was happening, she found herself in the convulsive grips of her allergy to bad poetry.

"There once was a maiden named Tendou
Who was belov'd by a master of kendo
She had keen, piercing eyes
Lithe and muscular thighs
A firm bust, and a shapely rear-end-o...AAAAaaaah!"

The sound of Kunou's voice receded as his body arched off into the distance, propelled by a surprisingly fierce uppercut.
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Postby Battlekrome » Mon Jun 09, 2008 5:53 pm

From the women’s room they could hear Tayuya screaming and then heard her voice being garbled.

“What do you think Kushina-sama is doing?” Haku asked.

“Sounds to me like she’s drowning the bitch.” Gabrella answered conversationally.

Haku looked worried. “Should we help?”

Gabrella shook her head. “No, I’m sure Kushina can drown her without our help.”

Haku gawked at her. “I mean should we prevent Tayuya’s drowning?”

Gabrella smiled. “Hell no!”


from "A Mothers Love" Naruto Altverse http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3922556/1/A_Mothers_Love
Through the sands of time I walk. Beyond time and space i call to those who awaken to the darkness and realize they are the light.
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Postby bissek » Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:54 pm

From Master of Orion: The lessons that Sosuke Sagara learned from his experiences in Full Metal Panic:

1: When destroying suspicious packages or tampered lockers, use SMALL charges.

2: When it appears a threat has surfaced in the girl's locker room, CONFIRM existence and location of threat before entering. Avoid entering at all if possible.

3: Do not take bioweapons or chemical weapons of any sort to school, even if the container is properly sealed and labeled. High school students are idiots and will open anything.

4: Use care when determining trap placement on school grounds. Security is extremely lax, and there are few areas where students will not go.

5: If invited to an isolated rendevous by an unknown person, neutralize and dispose of him or her right away instead of simply hiding and awaiting suspicious activities. It will save your time, as well as that of the target, who is probably watching from a different hidden location.

6: Never touch a girl's undergarments. If forced to make contact with said articles when removed from their owner, dispose of them immediately above all other non-lethal concerns.

7: Hot spring "vacations" have an odd tendency to increase stress rather than reducing it. Bypass such opportunities and dissuade the target from going if possible.

8: All trips outside the general area of residence have at least a 50% chance of provoking a kidnapping. Suggest alternatives to the target, such as a local museum, or being tied up in the coat closet.
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Postby Hazard » Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:57 pm

From a new writer (Meltz) at the Anime Addventure episode 206149:

A little joke about Sekhmet is that as goddess of blood-spilling/drinking and representation of female ferocity, she can also be called the patron goddess of PMS


A remarkable insight into an admittedly obscure goddess. I think that if we can cut and polish this jewel, we may have an excellent new writer on board the AA.
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Postby Neko- » Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:38 pm

An old one... Redheads... by Robert (Kenko) Haynie... Probably never gonna get finished. :( :( Stuck on three chapters. Shame really... cause it has potential.

It's a somewhat continuation of Girl Days (also recommended), but knowledge of Girl Days shouldn't be required to still enjoy this fic.

Only real link I found was on another site - http://archives.eyrie.org/anime/Ranma/r ... edheads.gz

Got linked there through http://blog.ssokolow.com/archives/2008/ ... -redheads/

They walked along the trail they had stumbled on, silently for a while, until they heard a voice. The voice was saying something indistinct.

Ranma looked up to see six men in ragged clothing and armor, holding very large swords, clubs, and things like that there, all of who were ugly as sin and leering. Thinking back to the anime, she realized that the two had just ran into a pack of classic stereotypical bandits.

"You know, if you unwrapped that scarf from your face, we could understand what you were saying. Although I suppose it was something threatening and moderately lecherous and had something to do with our giving you all our valuables," Ranma sighed.

Akane shrugged. "Just like muggers back home, ne?"

"Yeah. You'd think they'd figure out why Nerima has such a low crime rate, but--"

"Excuse me," the lead bandit said in an exasperated tone, having freed himself of the scarf that he'd thought was such a cool looking accessory. "This IS A robbery, you know."

Ranma was not in a good mood. Not at all. She looked at the bandit leader. She thought about how she was dressed. She thought about how these jerks were threatening her. And mostly she thought about how NICE it would be to work out some frustrations.

"No it isn't. It's a party. We're going to play Pin The Tail On The Bandit."

And Ranma began to gather chi in her hands. The bandit's eyes widened.

Now, let's look into the mind of the bandit, shall we?

Red hair.

Short.

Dressed, he now realized, like a sorceress.

And there was a ball of light in her hands.

Conclusion inevitable.

"OH SHIT! IT'S LINA INVERSE!"


"Great!" chirped Lina, already having visions of both the end of boredom and possible future C-cups dancing in her head.

What could go wrong?


For example, he had made the error of allowing them to pick the name of the gang. He'd expected something banditally appropriate, such as "The Bloody Skull Gang" or "The Howling Vultures Gang" or the like.

"The Very Mean And Dangerous Gang" somehow didn't QUITE have the menacing ring he'd hoped for.

Chief was beginning to realize that intelligent people didn't normally join bandit gangs.

Mercifully, he was spared the realization that they normally didn't start them either. Chief had a very high opinion of his own intellect.


"Well, I suppose I can teach you some Kempo... and the first thing you have to learn is how to fall."

"There's something hard about falling?"

"Yeah. It's called the ground." Ranma smirked.


"Okay." He raised his voice again. "I repeat, surrender and die!"

"Isn't that surrender OR die?"

"Um, no. We're going to kill you anyway, but we thought that it would be a good idea if you surrendered so as to make things less messy."


Somewhere in the forest, a bandit managed to finally untie himself.

In retrospect, he should have waited until he'd gotten down from the tree.

"OOOF!"

By now, all thoughts of simple banditry had fled from his mind. Now he was consumed by a new and fascinating emotional desire. Revenge.

"RANMA INVERSE-- I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!"

Yes, he would have his vengeance-- all he had to do now was to figure out how.

Dear readers, does this ring a bell?
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Postby CRBWildcat » Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:28 pm

A short snippet from Rowan Seven's Ryouga vs the Road Runner:

The Road Runner suddenly veered to the left and headed for a cliff ledge, and Ryouga, feeling a sense of déjà vu, followed. If his opponent thought the same trick would work twice...well, the bird was in for a surprise. With his new technique crossing the upcoming gulf would be a cinch, and the bird would soon find that there was nothing it could do to shake him.

ZSHAAAAM!

The edge of the cliff was utterly and near instantaneously vaporized in a column of light from below that soared up into the heights of the stratosphere, and the blue and lavender avian and Asian martial artist both came to a screeching halt mere yards from the devastated precipice. With what could only be called stupefaction, they watched as first the gray tip of what was possibly the largest futuristic double-rifle either of them had ever seen rose out of the gulf in front of them, covering the two surprised watchers in its shadow. The rifle was soon followed by the robotic arm and mechanical head of its wielder, the latter easily as wide if not wider than the cliff edge they stood on. And still the armored behemoth rose, growing taller and more imposing which each passing moment. Finally, after a few minutes that felt like an eternity, the predominantly white and blue colossus halted its ascent, its two feet that could step on the Road Runner and Lost Boy as if they were mere ants hovering above the abyss. Two huge, metallic protuberances that, oddly, almost looked like wings coated in angel's feathers projected out of the titan's back and supported the construct with the twin roar of powerful engines. Twin buster rifle at its side, the nearly 17-meter tall giant almost seemed to gaze down at its two observers with its shinobi-esque head and eyes filled with malice.

"Beep-Beep?"

"What the-?!"

Wing Gundam Zero had arrived.


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Postby Kakanma » Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:36 am

“Voldemort…” Harry began.

“Which one?!” they asked in unison, glaring at each other.

“The one in his own body. I propose an alliance.”


Best cliffhanger EVER! From neoryu777's FF8 and HP fanfic Worldly
Prisoners.
"You mean...You'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people?"
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Postby Tuisto » Fri Jul 18, 2008 6:02 pm

This isn't a anime fanfic, but rather a STNG fanfic of XXX nature, so I'm withholding the link. But I just laughed and laughed to this. I've highlighed the good parts and reduced text size to save space.

"Galatea, this is Data, the birthday boy," Geordi said.

It was as if William T. Riker, First Officer of the Enterprise, was rendered invisible. Galatea stepped past him like he didn't exist. She held out a hand.

Data shifted packages and took it. He had been well-trained in the human social arts. But when his fingers closed over hers, he dropped all his gifts and stared at her.

"I am called Galatea," she said. She was only an inch or so shorter than him. Gold eyes mirrored gold eyes. "You are Data, an android."

"Yes."

"I am also."

"What?" Riker said.

Wes laughed out loud. The partygoers crowded around, a babble of voices all exclaiming basically the same things. "How's that for a real surprise?" Reg asked nobody in particular.

Throughout all the commotion, Data and Galatea stood with hands still clasped. "You are an android?" he finally said. "Are you a construction of Doctor Sung?"

"No, but my design was based upon his research. I was constructed by Barclay, Crusher, and LaForge. I am your birthday present."

"Hold it!" Riker bellowed. "Geordi, I think an explanation is in order." He hit his Starfleet pin. "Riker to Captain Picard."

"Go ahead, Number One."

"We have a situation here, sir. It appears that some of the engineering staff have given Mr. Data a woman for his birthday."

Silence. Then: "Say again, Will?"

"A woman!" Riker nearly yelled. "A babe-class supernova of a woman!"

"Will," Deana said warningly, discreetly taking his drink before he crushed the glass. Worf, behind her, was struggling to contain a grin. She elbowed his stomach.

Another silent pause. Then: "Mr. Danvers, you have the bridge. I'm on my way. Picard out."

"Ooh, now we're in for it," Wesley said. As usual, he utterly failed to look serious. His mother twisted his ear. "Ow! Mom!"

Beverley twisted harder. "That mouth of yours is going to get you thrown right off this vessel, young man."


"It is against Starfleet directives to practice slavery," Data said.

"I am not a slave," Galatea replied. "Although I was designed to be compatible with your systems, I was also given free will and decision-making capability."

"The contact of our hands produces a distinct effect," he observed. She laid her other hand along the side of his face. He twitched slightly, then blinked and cocked his head again. "Interesting."

"Certain areas of my body appear to contain sensor/transmitters capable of delivering that effect," she said. "A self-diagnostic reveals that my lips are so equipped, as well as other areas that humans refer to as intimate."

By now, everyone in the room was utterly silent. Expressions ranged from shocked disbelief to lustful gapes. Riker was red-faced, but more from anger and embarrassment that he had been making a pass at an android.

"It seems logical that those areas would correspond to human erogenous zones," Data said.

"Perhaps a test would be in order," Galatea suggested.

"A test?" Data echoed.

"Kiss her, Data," Geordi urged. "That's about the only sort of test you'd want to make in front of all of us."

"Yeah, go on! Kiss her!" Wes said.

Others began picking up the sentiment, until it was a chant ringing in the small room. Only Riker, who was nearly apoplectic, and Worf, who did not go in for such sophomoric displays, did not participate.

Galatea stepped over the scattered gifts, plucked the purple streamer from Data's ear and dropped it. She then put her arms around his neck. Data rested one hand at her waist, and with the other pushed back her hair. He leaned forward, and the chant died off as everyone held their breath in hopeful expectation.

Data pressed a panel behind Galatea's ear. It flipped open obligingly. He examined the circuitry inside her head. "Fascinating," he said. "Your positronic matrix appears nearly identical to my own."

"Data," Geordi groaned. "You're supposed to kiss her."

"Oh. Yes." He closed her panel. "Galatea, do you object?"

"No."

He inclined his head to the exact calculated angle to avoid nose collision while allowing for maximum mouth contact, and pressed his lips to hers.

At that moment, Captain Picard walked in. He found a jubilant crowd of his crew surrounding Data and a stunning woman in a gold gown, the two of them locked in a kiss of increasing passion.

"Ahem."

"Captain!" Reginald Barclay said. The nervous engineer started to salute, changed his mind, started to bow, changed his mind again, and ended up shifting from foot to foot like a preschooler needing the restroom.

The crowd fell silent. Riker, his face almost the color of a plum, tugged at the bottom of his shirt in a way he'd copied from Picard and strutted imperiously over to him. Data and the woman were still kissing, apparently oblivious to their surroundings. Obviously oblivious, for now Picard saw that Data was cupping one of the woman's breasts.

"Mr. Data!" Picard said, his voice cutting whiplike through the room. He finally got the android's attention.

"This is what I was talking about, sir," Riker huffed. "This woman was Geordi's gift to Data."

Picard turned to his chief engineer. One sardonically raised eyebrow spoke volumes.

"Actually, Captain," Barclay said, "Commander LaForge wasn't actually the one responsible. He only helped. Wesley and I actually built her. Actually."

"Built her?"

"Yes, sir. We call her Galatea."

"It was my idea," Wes chirped. "Ow! Mom!"

"Captain," Galatea said. "Picard, Jean-Luc." She offered her hand, quickly learning and absorbing these human customs. "Greetings, Captain."

He shook it, noting as Riker had the faint pulse of electrical energy. "Welcome aboard, Galatea. Crusher, Barclay, LaForge, report to my ready room at once. The rest of you, as you were. Mr. Data?"

"Yes, Captain?"

Picard smiled. "Carry on. And happy birthday."


***
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Postby nuriko » Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:51 pm

From Chunin Exam Day

Neji Hyuga woke up the morning of his first chunin exam test, got ready and got dressed in his typical attire of medium-sleeve light grey jacket with the high collar and black knee length shorts. The only spots of color were his blue ninja sandals and the Konoha headband he wore to cover the cursed seal on his forehead.

All functional. His long, straight black hair grown out to about mid-back was his one concession to pride.

So wrapped up was Neji in his contemplations of the upcoming chunin tests that he did not note Hinata when she passed by him on his way out of the Hyuga compound to meet his team. For one thing, she hardly acted like his Main Branch cousin in the slightest, moving and holding herself with a level of confidence that her father couldn't match. The Hyuga Clan Head had too much of a chip on his shoulder to act that confident and sure of himself.

For another, she wasn't dressed as he'd grown accustomed to Hinata being dressed, in a thick jacket and blue calf-length pants.

No, for some strange reason she was wearing a medium-sleeve light grey jacket with high collar and black knee length shorts. Although she'd retained her standard blue ninja sandals, her headband was worn around her forehead instead of around her neck.

Her blue hair was also grown long, to about her mid-back.

So, preoccupied as he was, Neji didn't recognize her. Instead, the poor genin was busy bracing himself for the standard, expected reaction when he met his team, psyching himself up against the spandex wearing duo with those ridiculous haircuts and oversize eyebrows shouting about the 'Power of YOUTH!' And in all other ways being annoying obstacles to his progress.

Instead, the Hyuga prodigy came to a shocked halt as he spotted the 'Green Beast of Konoha' and Lee, who was practically his clone.

Both of them looked up at him from where they'd been waiting, hands in the pockets of their medium-sleeve light grey jacket with high collars. He couldn't help but notice the black knee length shorts, blue ninja sandals, or that each had somehow, miraculously grown their hair out of those horrid bowl cuts into long, straight styles that reached about their mid-backs.

Gone were the green spandex, orange legwarmers and wristbands, bowl cuts and everything that made the freaks stand out so horribly. Even the stupid grins were missing, replaced by copies of his own blank, stoic expression!

Startled for a moment, Neji calmed himself, the opinion he had of the duo dropping at this obvious prank on him.

But he wouldn't give him the satisfaction!

"Hi Neji!"

Then Tenten trotted up, and gone were the Chinese silks or buns in her hair. Instead, for some strange reason she was wearing the same light grey jacket with high collar, black shorts, and hairstyle as everyone else!

Correcting his battle stance, assumed in the shock of their meeting, Neji nodded to her stiffly and tried to pretend everything was normal.

"Remember," Gai turned a stiff and stoic gaze upon his students. "Hard work is meaningless. Either you are fated to become chunin, or you are not. Bow to the whims of Fate, and accept its inevitability."

"It is pointless to fight against ones Destiny," Lee nodded soberly, with an utterly straight face.

Neji's hands were clenched into fists by the time their teacher Body Flickered away.

Glowering at his teammates, but relieved their prank was over, Neji walked away in something of an angry huff, only to get practically run over by a pink haired girl who...

... he noted was wearing another set of copies of his clothes, and her pink hair was worn long, straight, and to her mid-back.

Eye twitching, the Hyuga genius plodded on angrily to the test center, only to stop and stare as Kurenai's Team 8 crossed his path, and every member of it, from the jonin sensei on down to Kiba's dog, were all wearing identical copies of his own signature attire.

Funny, but he'd never noticed before how much Shino's coat and pants resembled his own.

Veins were popping on Neji's forehead as they walked on, only for a call out of a ramen shop to distract his attention, causing him to notice the waitress and chef were ALSO wearing medium-sleeve light grey jackets with high collar and black knee length shorts, their hair worn long and straight, down to their mid-backs.

The boy's eyebrows both started twitching as they began passing other teams from other villages, and one of those FOREIGN NINJA had the kunoichi on their team wearing practically an identical copy of his own attire!

This went beyond a joke. He couldn't imagine how anyone could get a maiden of Sound, who'd never been to Konoha before, wearing HIS CLOTHES??

The Hyuga prodigy activated his White Eyes, but couldn't detect an illusion.

Then he practically got run over by the team from Sand, and the girl made his outfit look so good he could almost forget about her two brothers, one with a puppet strapped over his back, wearing the same medium-sleeve light grey jacket with high collar and black knee length shorts as the boy carrying it, and the other wearing a great big gourd over his medium-sleeve light grey jacket with high collar and black knee length shorts.

All of their hair was long, straight, and hanging down to their mid-backs.

Neji was standing in the middle of the street, fists clenched and fuming, when Lee came up on his elbow and declared, in his OWN sober, straight-laced and dangerous monotone, "Come inside. We are not fated to miss this chunin test. It is our Destiny to be on time."

Neji almost slugged him for that.

The Hyuga prodigy stormed angrily in the front doors of the test center, and THIS TIME he noticed his cousin Hinata hanging out with her team, all of them wearing his outfits.

It was only the third time he'd seen her that morning.

Neji could have stopped and said something, but he got cut off by a tide of orange clones streaming past, all of them wearing medium-sleeve jackets with high collars and black knee length shorts, blond hair worn straight and down to their mid-backs - only the jackets this time were orange!

The orange clones met up with the pink haired girl and a boy, the Uchiha prodigy, who was thankfully NOT dressed up as a Neji-clone! Then that team all streamed inside rather quickly.

But somehow in the press, Hinata's team had also vanished, and he'd missed his opportunity to confront her.

There were chunin guarding the door, and Neji noted with a small amount of wonder that someone had also gotten THEM wearing copies of his signature attire! Storming in passed them, the boy rammed his way past other people dressed like him and shoved open the doors to the test area.

Where every single face turned up to look at him, and from the proctors on down, every single person was wearing copies of his clothes.

The head examiner nodded to him. "It's good to see you in regulation attire. Now sit! Those of you who are Destined to pass will pass. Those who are Destined to fail will fail. Be still, and contemplate Fate."

The Hyuga prodigy's head was hurting as he sat, and looked out the window, only to fall down in shock on noticing the Hokage monument had been changed so Every Single Face there was looking down at him over his own style of high collar, long hair, and headbands worn as if concealing cursed marks.

"Neji Hyuga! Fail!" the Head examiner called, hands stuffed deeply into the pockets of the medium-sleeve, light grey jacket he was wearing over his black, knee length shorts. "It is obviously not your Fate to become chunin! Take away his uniform!"

The shocked Hyuga was picked up off the floor by two chunin proctors dressed in identical clothes to his, and carried away stunned amid mutters about how obviously he was weaker than his cousin, Hinata.

Neji found himself standing outside the test center dressed in a ridiculous giant rubber purple chicken costume wondering what happened.
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Postby Atlan » Tue Aug 05, 2008 5:08 am

This is from a pokemon fic, Latias' Journey.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2053520/3/Latias_Journey

Professor Oak yawned and leaned back. "Well, I suppose that’s enough for today." He was perturbed that after several hours of research, he still had no clues on the nature of the Ghost King. He shook his head and got up. Well, maybe he’d have better luck in the morning, when he felt less tired. Of course, he had one more task to do before he went to bed.

He turned off his computer and walked through the house, passing by Tracey in the living room. Tracey was eating ice cream with his Venonat while watching something on TV. Oak paused to watch.

On the TV screen, an angry young man slapped a card down on a ridiculously bulky device on his left arm, causing an oddly hued Dragonite to materialize before him. "You’ll never defeat my Blue Eyes White Dragonite, Lugi!"

The camera panned to a CGI Lugia wearing a ridiculous tri-colored spiky wig. The Lugia bellowed, and thanks to the miracle of dubbing and voice-overs it appeared that he said, "You will never win Saiba, not as long as I believe in the heart of the cards!"

"What are you watching?" asked the professor, confused by the wig-wearing Lugia.

"Lu-Gi-Oh,"
The Banana, the Atheist's Nightmare:

God made it with a non-slip surface, a color coded system so we know when to eat it, and an easy open tab at the top of the banana. It's just the right shape for a mouth and is easy to digest!!
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Postby Neko- » Thu Aug 07, 2008 1:10 pm

Been on holiday... Found two funny ones in two pieces I took along.

For the Akane haters among us, I'd advice to NOT read these stories:

Don Granberry's 'Comes The Cold Dragon' at http://www.iamnota.net/ff:comes the cold dragon

(seems this story has no real online-repository :? So if the link does not work, I'm sorry.

The night-shift manager of Nerima's oft-rebuilt sentou watched as one her regulars debarked her pull-cart. The (purplehaired) girl was always pretty, but tonight she seemed to have an extra bit of glow about her. Her bearing was regal, as though she were a famous actress at the top of her career. The young man that had just recently taken to bringing the girl in by pulling her along in a cart looked as proud as the owner of a great yacht, decorated with pretty girls. The girl walked through the entrance as though she owned the sentou along with the rest of Nerima. She gave the manager a brief smile
and nod as she passed the desk. Her companion stopped and paid for both of them.

The manager took the money and thought no more about it, until ten minutes or so later when Ukyou Kuonji, best damned okonomiyaki chef the manager had ever met, and her sidekick, the kunoichi Konatsu Kenzan walked in. At that point, the night-shift manager's nerves began to fray a little. These two particular customers had for a long time been careful not to visit the sentou at the same time. Some of her fears were slightly assuaged by Ukyou's appearance.
Ukyou was ordinarily cheerful and upbeat, almost as though it were a deliberately cultivated habit, but tonight she seemed
to be beyond that. It seemed as though all was right with world in general and with Ukyou in particular.

The night manager accepted Ukyou's payment for both herself and Konatsu, then watched with more than a little trepidation as the willowy martial artist and chef made her way back to the dressing area. Shortly after Ukyou was out of sight, the night manager reflexively picked up the telephone and started to dial 119, then stopped herself. Nothing had happened yet, and her luck might hold out. The evening could continue quite peacefully, or World Wars III and IV could break out simultaneously. There was just no way to tell for certain. This was Nerima, after all.

The night-shift manager settled back in her chair, took a deep breath, then admonished herself to remain calm. It was then that she remembered that Kodachi Kuno had come in earlier that evening and had not yet left. Her hair stood right straight up as she began crying. She wished with all her heart that she could just go ahead and pick up the phone and scream for help, just so she could have an end to it all. Horror and suspense were not on her list of favorite entertainment.


'Ranma The Second Time Around', by kayemsi

Mousse pulled his glasses down and looked owlishly through them. “Where’d the Elder go?”

“She’s in bed, getting her beauty sleep,” Shampoo replied.

“Oh good, that means we shouldn’t see her for thirty or forty years,” Mousse mumbled.
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Postby mondu_the_fat » Thu Aug 14, 2008 10:22 pm

From The Truth Decays, by Marz1, a Naruto/FMA cross

“Did he say where he was going?”

“He said he was going to find his arm,” the boy said.

“Anything else?” Ibiki asked.

“He sweared some,” the boy said.

“What exactly did he say?”

“Do I get to say?” the boy asked excitedly, looking to his parents for permission.

The father nodded warily.

“He said ‘those fxxking bastards better not have broken it, or he was gonna fxxking deconstruct their dxxks and they’d be pissing out their xxxes for the rest of their miserable lives.’”

“Anything else?” Ibiki asked.

The boy nodded. “He said ‘oh shit, don’t repeat that, kid. Your mom’s head will explode.’ But it didn’t. She just got mad and put soap in my mouth.”
"So Igor wasn't kidding. Most people just ensure they won't die cold and alone by making friends...I gain superpowers and have mysterious voices tell me I did a good job. My life is a goddamn mess."
-- Minato Arisato, My Life is a Goddamn Mess
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Postby bissek » Fri Aug 15, 2008 8:21 pm

From Phoenix Ranma, the natural extension of a Ranma fukufic:

"It worked pretty well, didn't it?" said Usagi.

"Yes it did," admitted Ami. "I don't think you can do that very often though. Maybe once a month or once a week at most."

"So who should be our next Senshi?" asked Usagi.

"Well, there's Naru-chan or maybe Umino-san," said Makoto.

"I vote for some more hunky guys joining," said Minako, thinking if Makoto had a lot of guys around that left her a clear shot at Ranma.

"I like your thinking," said Makoto, thinking that if Minako found another guy that would give her a clear path towards Ranma.

"I'm uncertain of this plan," said Ami, though if there were - then Minako and Makoto would go after these other guys and then, she and Ranma, well that would...

"I think that would be nice," confessed Hotaru, seeing that if there were other guys around, that would get her a better chance at Ranma due to decreased competition.

"Maybe we should start with Naru-chan," said Rei. "It'd be nice if she could rescue herself once in awhile."

"Ah," said the other Senshi, immediately seeing that point.
Genius is 1.7% inspiration, 98.6% perspiration, and .4% poor math skills.
bissek
Moon Senshi
Posts: 1088
 

Postby Tovath » Sat Aug 16, 2008 9:36 am

Probably every one here has already read Girl Days by Kenko http://www.fanfiction.net/s/345691/16/Girl_Days and so has seen this


"I don't suppose you remember doing anything to get a pink
gorilla angry at you, do you?' asked Nabiki, wondering what sort of
odds to set-- or if anyone would bother betting on this.

"I don't remember a pink gorilla period. I'm pretty certain
there's no Spring of Drowned Talking Pink Gorilla at Jyusenkyo.
I have seen some pretty weird things, but that was the all time top
contender."

"It isn't your fault, Ranma. I know it isn't," decided Akane.
"Something that silly can't be ANYONES fault. Dancing pink gorillas
challenging you to a fight at three AM is too stupid for anyone."
“Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.”
-Hanlon's Razor

"Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much."
-Oscar Wilde

Senshi of Puck
Tovath
User avatar
Prism Power Senshi
Posts: 2287
 

Postby Tenebrae » Sat Aug 16, 2008 9:56 am

From Overlord, chapter 4 by Chibi-Reaper:

"Here's a piece of advice... when you're doing something that requires all of your attention, it's acceptable to finish what you're doing before acknowledging me. And if you weren't giving juggling bladed weaponry your full attention... you should have been.
Warning: the above post is the result of brainpan leakage. Do not take seriously or ingest.
Tenebrae
Senshi Candidate
Posts: 36
 

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