The Return ch15

[PCHeintz72]

One other one, I'm currently rereading the Ami/Ranma scene, and I apparently missed this on the first pass

"Say I don't believe you? That you'll keep your word." Ranma idly inquired.

The second part should probably read in the negative, or needs a clarification on it, as it reads wrong to me. Something like:
'I mean what is to say you will keep your word.'
Though I can think of about a dozen different ways of rewording it.

[Sunshine Temple]

One other one, I'm currently rereading the Ami/Ranma scene, and I apparently missed this on the first pass

Cool

The second part should probably read in the negative, or needs a clarification on it, as it reads wrong to me. Something like:
'I mean what is to say you will keep your word.'
Though I can think of about a dozen different ways of rewording it.

yeah you're right
how about this: "Say I don't believe you? That you won't keep your word." Ranma idly inquired.

[PCHeintz72]

yeah you're right
how about this: "Say I don't believe you? That you won't keep your word." Ranma idly inquired.

That should be fine.
Well, I have work tomorrow/today (12:25am for me), so it is off to bed.

[Sunshine Temple]

That should be fine.
Well, I have work tomorrow/today (12:25am for me), so it is off to bed.

Great, and thanks again. Yeah I should get to bed soon myself. I'll upload the corrected version tommorow.
EDIT: I just updated it now. Fukufics copy only. FF.net is a pain to revise.

[Nadrek]

Wonderful! As usual, I ended up re-reading the prior chapter and then the new chapter again.
This was a very fitting chapter to come after the leader of the most successful demonic invasion showing up to have tea with her granddaughter and becoming enthralled with dehydrated mini-marshmallows... now we have the mousy quiet girl turning evil (and changing into a see-through skirt)!
I agree with a prior poster, the Jacob/Stillwater/Ranma scene at the end was well done, and amusing - 'You two going to keep your jobs?'. It shows how well Ranma's integrating with the local WIC leadership on a personal basis, as well as the professional basis and her relationship with the rank and file, and is critical to her being a mover and shaker, and a true ally of WIC.
The Ami/Ranma/Janet interactions, with Janet carefully avoiding incineration and evisceration, Ranma needling Ami semi-subtly, and Ami clearing things with Ranma first, being very respectful (the bow was well done) to the demoness (Pattern D-Silver what, 12, now? With five Pattern D-Silver daughters, probably... 5, 6, by now, and with greater skill in the use of raw power than Alexia's brood). Ranma's shapeshifting into demonic form (not even demonic Sailor form), stretching her wings, and not lighting up an aura was impressive, and showed more class than Ranma previously used.
The comments about beings such as DarkStar not needing to threaten were interesting - I don't recall their like in any previous chapter. Ranma's coming into her own, I think. Perhaps her grandmothing telling her the Earth is hers to conquer if she chooses to had an impact, as well as having five children.
I've been waiting for the silver energy transfer for a long time.
The differences in training between the brood and Usagi's Sailors were made very clear - I wonder if Ami is going to very politely request to train with the brood as well (separately and secretly)... and if she'll offer herself and Janet for... play... in trade?
Why Shampoo was sneaking about is interesting, unless it was a poor plot to appear very mildly threatening to the brood, which seems suicidal.
Ami appeared to have previously underestimated Ranma, which seems odd... didn't she see the video of Ranma wiping out the Assemblymen while missing several internal organs?
No special snacks for Kasumi... just sex, which is fine.
Forty Assemblymen of various stripes. I wonder if they'll wait until the broodling Senshi have trained up their powers before attacking.
Note: The .500 and .475 Linebaugh would make good backup guns, being smaller (and much lower pressure) than the .500 S&W. I'd also expect to see a .50 BMG revolver for the brood, the more powerful companion to the .500 S&W auto.
I also hope Ranma and her brood are working on defenses as well as attacks.
Thank you, again, for a great chapter.

[Sunshine Temple]

Wonderful! As usual, I ended up re-reading the prior chapter and then the new chapter again.
[Great to hear. Heh, guess reading the previous chapter helps.
[And I just love this long and detailed comentary you give. Always a pleasure Nadrek
This was a very fitting chapter to come after the leader of the most successful demonic invasion showing up to have tea with her granddaughter and becoming enthralled with dehydrated mini-marshmallows... now we have the mousy quiet girl turning evil (and changing into a see-through skirt)!
[Heh, yeah I'm having alot of fun with the Merc plot.
[Took long enough to build up to her release.
I agree with a prior poster, the Jacob/Stillwater/Ranma scene at the end was well done, and amusing - 'You two going to keep your jobs?'. It shows how well Ranma's integrating with the local WIC leadership on a personal basis, as well as the professional basis and her relationship with the rank and file, and is critical to her being a mover and shaker, and a true ally of WIC.
[Good.
[Yup, Ranma has stepped into having quite the network with the Company.
The Ami/Ranma/Janet interactions, with Janet carefully avoiding incineration and evisceration, Ranma needling Ami semi-subtly, and Ami clearing things with Ranma first, being very respectful (the bow was well done) to the demoness (Pattern D-Silver what, 12, now?
[Good, glad that worked.
[Yes Ami is in a delicate place. She doesn't want to piss off Ranma.
With five Pattern D-Silver daughters, probably... 5, 6, by now, and with greater skill in the use of raw power than Alexia's brood). Ranma's shapeshifting into demonic form (not even demonic Sailor form), stretching her wings, and not lighting up an aura was impressive, and showed more class than Ranma previously used.
[Heh, yeah she's getting a bit more pride and class
The comments about beings such as DarkStar not needing to threaten were interesting - I don't recall their like in any previous chapter. Ranma's coming into her own, I think. Perhaps her grandmothing telling her the Earth is hers to conquer if she chooses to had an impact, as well as having five children.
[Yup. Seeing grandma gave Ranma a real boost.
[She saw the potential for her kind, and that succubae didn't have to be Alexia like clichies and misfits.
[Which gives Ranma the conficence to come into her own.
[And yah, Ami picked up on that.
I've been waiting for the silver energy transfer for a long time.
[Me too.
The differences in training between the brood and Usagi's Sailors were made very clear - I wonder if Ami is going to very politely request to train with the brood as well (separately and secretly)... and if she'll offer herself and Janet for... play... in trade?
[Ami is smart, and does want to train them up.
Why Shampoo was sneaking about is interesting, unless it was a poor plot to appear very mildly threatening to the brood, which seems suicidal.
[Shampoo can be very reckless, and she might not have known all the facts.
Ami appeared to have previously underestimated Ranma, which seems odd... didn't she see the video of Ranma wiping out the Assemblymen while missing several internal organs?
[Ami's being careful.
No special snacks for Kasumi... just sex, which is fine.
[sex is fine ;p
[and Kasumi is wary of the food that Ranma likes.
Forty Assemblymen of various stripes. I wonder if they'll wait until the broodling Senshi have trained up their powers before attacking.
[We'll have to wait and see.
Note: The .500 and .475 Linebaugh would make good backup guns, being smaller (and much lower pressure) than the .500 S&W. I'd also expect to see a .50 BMG revolver for the brood, the more powerful companion to the .500 S&W auto.
[For backup the conventional 50 DE would likely do.
[And yes revolvers are fun. The major would have to know about the advantages of a more robost and mechanically simple design. Heh
I also hope Ranma and her brood are working on defenses as well as attacks.
Thank you, again, for a great chapter.
[Thank you for your excelent coments
[it's reviews like this that make me realize my readers get it. It's quality over quanitity. You guys understand where this story is building and what I'm trying it make here.
[Thank you.

[Dumbledork]

Great chapter once again. I never get disappointed. Interesting entrance by Shampoo who's outcalssed to such an extent that it isn't funny. I hope she'll learn from her mistakes and that she'll be able to arrange a truce with Sunshine (I'm pretty sure Mercury will have a lot of trouble convincing her ^_^).
I like the fact that there's a new group entering the scene (Mercury and her senshi) and how you're always able to juggle with so many different groups and not screw up (which is unfortunately a problem with many authors who use too many characters but are unable to handle them all).
Can't wait to see what you've planned for the other Ranma characters who appeared later in the canon universe.

[Sunshine Temple]

Great chapter once again. I never get disappointed. Interesting entrance by Shampoo who's outcalssed to such an extent that it isn't funny. I hope she'll learn from her mistakes and that she'll be able to arrange a truce with Sunshine (I'm pretty sure Mercury will have a lot of trouble convincing her ^_^).

Thanks. Yeah you get a magical uniform and a pair of enchanted swords adn you think you can take on demons ;p

I like the fact that there's a new group entering the scene (Mercury and her senshi) and how you're always able to juggle with so many different groups and not screw up (which is unfortunately a problem with many authors who use too many characters but are unable to handle them all).

Glad you have confidence. Return does have a huge cast, and a large number of groups all trying to get their goals.

Can't wait to see what you've planned for the other Ranma characters who appeared later in the canon universe.

Well, I have the cast to work with. Might as well use them.
Thanks for commenting.

[Moira]

A great chapter in a great story. I would happily stay lurking, if i havent gotten curious, when I just happend to stumble on my fathers astronomy boks, and had the urge to look what the various constellations might mytholigical mean. To my surprise i found out, that you dont seem to choose them randomly. This is what i found, after googling for a while and looking at variuous sites dealing with astology and greek/roman mythology

Orion :
Orion believed himself to be the best of hunters, and once he boasted that he was able to kill anything the earth produced. It was then that Gaia (Earth), angered at this boast, sent the scorpion that killed him.
Others assert that Orion was killed by Artemis, who was challenged by Apollo to hit with her arrows a black object in the sea, which she could not see, and that was later discovered to be Orion's head. How the goddess could commit such a mistake has not been explained.
Still others affirm that Orion was killed for challenging Artemis to a match of quoits, or shot by her for raping Opis 3, one of the maidens who had come from the Hyperboreans. But others have believed that Orion died because the gods, jealous because he was the lover of Eos, let Artemis kill him.
How Artemis and a Scorpion fit in with the story we will maybe see. But i think a Bow/Spear would have been a more fitting weapon than the double-blades staff she has. (well her transformation object is a hunting knife)
Virgo the Virgin:
A large equatorial constellation between Leo and Libra, in which the brightest member is the first-magnitude star Spica. Virgo is the sixth sign of the zodiac, which is entered by the sun on or about August 22nd.
Virgo is the only female figure among the constellations of the Zodiac. The Maiden has been attributed to many female deities over history. Among others, she has been identified with the Babylonian goddess Ishtar, the Roman goddess of justice, Astraea and the Greek goddess of the harvest, Demeter. As such, Virgo is usually depicted either holding an ear of wheat or carrying the scales of Libra the adjoining constellation.

Seem to fit the description of Shampoo so far. Another interesting fact is, that this constellation is said to be ruled by noone other than : MERCURY. As for her weapon i havent found out if two swords belong to one of the other religions names.
But you saved the best for last, didnt you? i had some trouble to find good information, but i finally found it:
Lyra is thought to represent the harp of Orpheus.
On older skymaps Lyra ist represented as a bird: Vultur, the Vulture. Together with the Cygnus, the Swan, and Aquila, the Eagle, it is hunted by Hercules.
Another story says that Mercury invented the lyre by placing strings across the back of a tortoise shell. So sometimes in early descriptions this constellation is also drawn as a tortoise.
So that Mercury is changing to Lyra is very fitting. And doesnt she has a harp in one of her spells in the Anime?
From the SM cast everyone is accounted for, but from the Ranma1/2 there are only Cologne, Mousse and Happosai missing ( but i think he is the one flight to canada). And maybe taro.
I also reread a lot of sections where ami was mentioned and try to decide where and when she changed. Now that we know how and why she changed i guess its about in chapter 14, the scene where she and Janet slip out to have some fun. The last sentence ami said there, make so much more sense now.
How murdock fits in all that i cant see yet (I bet thats how you want it, dont you?) But if he really is behind the constellation senshi and Sunshine it looks like he wants to make them stronger. Everything that ahs been done my Sunshine and her Brood and Amis intention is to make a stronger group to whaterver menace is coming.

[Sunshine Temple]

A great chapter in a great story. I would happily stay lurking, if i havent gotten curious, when I just happend to stumble on my fathers astronomy boks, and had the urge to look what the various constellations might mytholigical mean. To my surprise i found out, that you dont seem to choose them randomly. This is what i found, after googling for a while and looking at variuous sites dealing with astology and greek/roman mythology
[Ahh it's great that I got you from lurking.
[And welcome to the forum.
[Like so see that you were intruiqued enough to look up some stuff ^_^

Orion :
Orion believed himself to be the best of hunters, and once he boasted that he was able to kill anything the earth produced. It was then that Gaia (Earth), angered at this boast, sent the scorpion that killed him.
Others assert that Orion was killed by Artemis, who was challenged by Apollo to hit with her arrows a black object in the sea, which she could not see, and that was later discovered to be Orion's head. How the goddess could commit such a mistake has not been explained.
Still others affirm that Orion was killed for challenging Artemis to a match of quoits, or shot by her for raping Opis 3, one of the maidens who had come from the Hyperboreans. But others have believed that Orion died because the gods, jealous because he was the lover of Eos, let Artemis kill him.
How Artemis and a Scorpion fit in with the story we will maybe see. But i think a Bow/Spear would have been a more fitting weapon than the double-blades staff she has. (well her transformation object is a hunting knife)
[Well the ends of the blades are spearlike and she can use it as such.
[I felt that a spear would be too constricting inside.
[Yup, she does have the hunting knife.
[The jealous live stuff doesn't quite fit but I felt it worked close enough.
Virgo the Virgin:
A large equatorial constellation between Leo and Libra, in which the brightest member is the first-magnitude star Spica. Virgo is the sixth sign of the zodiac, which is entered by the sun on or about August 22nd.
Virgo is the only female figure among the constellations of the Zodiac. The Maiden has been attributed to many female deities over history. Among others, she has been identified with the Babylonian goddess Ishtar, the Roman goddess of justice, Astraea and the Greek goddess of the harvest, Demeter. As such, Virgo is usually depicted either holding an ear of wheat or carrying the scales of Libra the adjoining constellation.

Seem to fit the description of Shampoo so far.
[Yup, and the virgin part ;p
Another interesting fact is, that this constellation is said to be ruled by noone other than : MERCURY. As for her weapon i havent found out if two swords belong to one of the other religions names.
[Yup ^_^ The Merc stuff fit well here.
[Well the swords I just felt was right for Shampoo herself.
But you saved the best for last, didnt you? i had some trouble to find good information, but i finally found it:
Lyra is thought to represent the harp of Orpheus.
On older skymaps Lyra ist represented as a bird: Vultur, the Vulture. Together with the Cygnus, the Swan, and Aquila, the Eagle, it is hunted by Hercules.
Another story says that Mercury invented the lyre by placing strings across the back of a tortoise shell. So sometimes in early descriptions this constellation is also drawn as a tortoise.
[Yes, fitting istn't it?
So that Mercury is changing to Lyra is very fitting. And doesnt she has a harp in one of her spells in the Anime?
[Yes she does. And it also works that Ami took advantage of the Lyra thing and made up the story.
From the SM cast everyone is accounted for, but from the Ranma1/2 there are only Cologne, Mousse and Happosai missing ( but i think he is the one flight to canada). And maybe taro.
[There's a couple other cast members too, but yest, it's almost evyerone.
I also reread a lot of sections where ami was mentioned and try to decide where and when she changed. Now that we know how and why she changed i guess its about in chapter 14, the scene where she and Janet slip out to have some fun. The last sentence ami said there, make so much more sense now.
[Good eyes.
[Have been forshadowing and planning this thing for a while.
[Though the change has been going on since the start of Janet.
How murdock fits in all that i cant see yet (I bet thats how you want it, dont you?) But if he really is behind the constellation senshi and Sunshine it looks like he wants to make them stronger. Everything that ahs been done my Sunshine and her Brood and Amis intention is to make a stronger group to whaterver menace is coming.
[Yes strengthening them all is a goal.
[But there's more to it than that of course.
[Thanks for commenting. Good to see that I got you from lurkin'

[Nadrek]

[For backup the conventional 50 DE would likely do.
[And yes revolvers are fun. The major would have to know about the advantages of a more robost and mechanically simple design. Heh

I would note that the Linebaughs are considerably lighter, and if one can handle the recoil (or ports and/or compensates them significantly) they deliver significantly more energy - not much less than the .500 S&W.

[Sunshine Temple]

I would note that the Linebaughs are considerably lighter, and if one can handle the recoil (or ports and/or compensates them significantly) they deliver significantly more energy - not much less than the .500 S&W.

Hmm... do you have more information on the Linebaugh? .50 or .475?
I though the .500 S&W would be good, but if there's a better round.

[khim]

Hmm... do you have more information on the Linebaugh? .50 or .475?

Once you know the name - there are Google, you know: .475 Linebaugh, .500 Linebaugh. Even the last one is 1.5 times lighter then .500 S&W - but of course it's less powerfull too so it's your choice...

[DCG]

It seems that Wight and recoil are much less of an issue for the young demons then they would be standard troops.
So a lighter load of the same size isn't needed, and in-fact would defeat the purpose of chambering a gun in there use in the first place.
Is it just me reading this wrong? From what’s said in the chapter and hinted at. Ukyou’s gun would be a good bit larger then the one used by our Big hat wearing friend from across the pond.

[Sunshine Temple]

Is it just me reading this wrong? From what’s said in the chapter and hinted at. Ukyou’s gun would be a good bit larger then the one used by our Big hat wearing friend from across the pond.

That fellow has two guns. So you'll have to measure the .500 S&W against both of the rounds he uses.
There's also some degree of standardization. They wouldn't have a myriad of guns for a vast aray of sizes. So having a weapon between 50 AE and 500 S&W would be a bit silly.
But I'm always curious at other sizes.