Fanfiction Quotes you had to share.

[PCHeintz72]

"Chicken." Rei commented between spoonfuls of ice cream. "It's easy. Just walk up to him and ask him out."

Ami favored her friend with a dry look. "And that's obviously worked oh-so-well for you."

"Hey!"

"Maybe you should ask somebody with more experience." Usagi inserted, glancing down the counter to the Arcade's proprietor. "I mean look at Miss Saotome. She's beautiful! If she doesn't know how to pick up a guy, nobody does."

Makoto let her spoon hand in her mouth for a moment, analyzing her friend's suggestion. "You know, Ami, meatball head might just be right this time around. She's totally hot, for lack of a better word. I'd be surprised if she doesn't get her pick of guys."

Ami poked at her own bowl pensively. "I don't know."

"Come on, she helps us out all the time." Minako added, nudging the dark haired girl. "She won't mind giving you pointers on how to nab Shiro-kun. Miss Saotomeeeee!"

Ranma's attention was drawn from her idle chatter with another patron and back to the girls. She drifted back over to their group with a peaceful smile that was all but guaranteed to put anybody at ease. "What can I do for you girls?"

Minako grinned broadly, jabbing her thumb into her friend. "Ami has a question for you."

"Umm. Uh." The gentle curiosity radiating from Ranma's crystal blue eyes all but drew the words from Ami. "I, um. Need help picking up a guy."

The redhead blinked, stroking the ponytail that had seen fit to drape itself over her left shoulder. "I. You don't really need my advice."

"Oh, pah-lease." Rei rolled her eyes. "You have to dress down to keep the guys off you."

Among other things, Ranma thought, trapped by some measure of truth in Rei's statement. While she didn't exactly dress down, per se, just very conservatively, which in turn did affect the number of guys that tended to ask her out. if only by a small margin. The woman mentally shrugged. The fact that she actually was beautiful was a condition she had long since become used to and indifferent to simultaneously. Unable to refute the girl's observations, she simply waited while they took her silence as an invitation to continue.

"Ami really likes this guy at school," Usagi began.

".but is just too darn shy for her own good." Makoto continued.

"So she needs some pointers on how to approach him." Rei rounded out the explanation.

"And we know the guys are just all over you." Minako pointed out as a closing argument, eliciting nods from all five girls. In that moment, Ami's involuntary counseling session turned into a pointed group interest for every girl involved. After all, what aspiring, boy-crazy teenage girl wouldn't want advice from a master such as the one before them? The woman was just too good looking not to have her pick of men.

The redhead gave her ponytail another stroke before flipping it back over her shoulder, resigning herself to her fate with a patience won only through years of experience. Maybe she could even steer them away from her more extreme experiences. With that thought in mind, Ranma settled in. "Well, first, you should never come on too strong. Few guys like a strange girl who suddenly comes out of the blue and hangs all over them, glomps and such."

"Makes sense." Makoto shrugged.

"Take notes, Minako." Rei grinned, causing the blonde to growl.

"Likewise, don't chase them all around." Ranma continued, as if instructing pupils in a classroom. "Everybody likes attention, but everybody needs space too. If you chase him too much, you'll chase him away."

"Subtlety." Ami concluded, mentally jotting the point down. Ranma nodded.

"Exactly. But in moderation." The proprietor warned, clicking a nail on the counter as if to emphasis the point. "There's a fine line between subtlety and manipulation. The latter will end your romance before it even starts."

"She's good." Usagi whispered over to Rei, who nodded in kind.

"And the last thing you want to do is resort to drugs, blackmail and explosives." Ranma stated with utter seriousness, and the nods that had been following her lesson in romance instantly ground to halt. Explosives? "Extorting or brainwashing your date will not endear him to your affections. And don't-" Ranma paused, noting the wide eyes riveted to her person. "What? Why are you staring at me?"

Usagi opened her mouth, but words failed to come out. Ami, Minako, Makato and Rei simply stared. "That was. um."

Riiiing!

All eyes snapped to the phone down the counter, and every female involved was grateful for the distraction, if for their own separate reasons. Ranma flashed them a brilliant smile. "Oops. Continue this later, girls."

The eyes tracked her as she moved off, and once the proprietor was out of nominal earshot, the conspiratorial whispers began.

"What the hell was that!" Minako hissed in disbelief, still unable to tear her eyes away from the owner of the Crown Arcade across the room.

"Where, exactly did that conversation go horribly wrong?" Makoto asked, shaking her head.

"Drugs." Rei replied with equal disbelief. "I think around the mention of using drugs to seduce Shiro."

Ami had been reduced to a blinking stupor. "I wasn't planning on using explosives."

"You think it was a joke?" Minako finally managed to tear her eyes off the redhead.

"You know Miss Saotome better that." Usagi glanced back at across the room. "She doesn't joke. At least not like that."

"Then what was that?" Makoto questioned, still unable to wrap her brain around the turn in conversation. "Oh my God. you don't think.?"

"It's the only explanation." Usagi Tsukino nodded. "I mean, what else could it be?"

Ami cocked her head. "So you're saying.?"

"She was describing her own experiences!" Rei concluded, bridging the same mental gap. "Miss Saotome used all those methods in her younger days to catch guys.!"

".And only reaped sorrow." Usagi confirmed sadly. "Leaving her much wiser. but alone."

Makoto was practically sniffling now. "That's so sad!"

"We have to do something to help her!" Minako piped, gaining the nods her friends.

Usagi pushed a fist into her palm, purpose burning in her eyes. "Let's go girls. We have some planning to do!"

The above was from chapter 1 of:
R-SM 'Age of Titans' by Ozzallos-TeflonBooger - [Dld Date=02/12/2011] - [Dld Size=127kb] - [Dld Files=4] - [Status=Inactive]

• [Author1] http://www.rakhal.com/ozzallos/index.htm
• [Author2] http://www.fanfiction.net/u/891127/Ozzallos

It should be noted, I think he moved this to his crapspace story...

[PCHeintz72]

Nabiki and Ranma had been taking a slow stroll through Nerima, getting refamiliarized with the district.

They remained quiet, enjoying the peace and quiet not often seen here when they lived at the dojo. They wanted to enjoy it as long as possible.

Well, that ended when a drunken woman with red hair ran into Ranma, falling to the ground.

She recognized the look the woman gave Ranma as he helped her to her feet. It was the same one she had often seen on the women entranced with her husband's looks and aura of...purity. It also didn't hurt that Nabiki didn't spot a wedding ring or any other signs that the woman was already taken. She gave Ranma a look that told him to play along with her, believing that the woman wouldn't remember anything the next morning, if the sake smell coming off her was indication. Besides, if she was drinking this early in the day, she could use a reason to be happy.

Ranma, as par, needed her to mouth those words to him to understand. He was just glad Nabiki wasn't jealous in the way Akane had been when the woman grabbed him, commenting on how manly he was.

"Um, can we escort you back home, Ms...?"

"Nodoka. My name is Nodoka. And I would love such a fine young man as you to take me home." She smiled and linked arms with Ranma. "And such a fine, strapping young man. Is it okay if I borrow him for the night, dear?"

Nabiki giggled. "Well, I guess you can. After all, I would like to not have anymore children until after I graduate college. Well, Anata, how do you feel about taking her as a mistress? She seems like she might be able to keep you out of trouble."

Ranma blushed as both women giggled at his reaction. "I...I...well, I..." He sighed. "I'll just shut up now and let you two work it out."

"Oh, and he knows when to let his wife handle things. He's a much better catch than my ex-husband." Nodoka sighed and cuddled a little more with the handsome stranger who was helping lift her spirits. Slowly as a mischievous smile grew on her lips, she leapt into his arms, surprised that he had no trouble carrying her.

Nabiki simply shook her head. It wasn't like she was playing with the woman. Even Nabiki could see how depressed the woman was when they found her, even without her aura in the visible spectrum. A thought of how much the two resembled each other, especially when Ranma was in his girl form was put out of her head. Genma had no other family...at least family that would dare claim him, and with Ranma's mother dead, she had no leads to see if maybe the woman was an aunt or cousin. Well, either way, I have plenty of things now to tease my sweet husband about.

Nodoka giggled, reminiscing to herself about how young she felt at the moment. She thought for a moment about kissing him, but that wasn't something one did until you finalized that it was okay for her to be his mistress with his wife. After all, it was only proper. And they already have children. Surely they would enjoy some more free time if Auntie Nodoka babysat them. "Thank you for carrying me, kind sir. Would you mind escorting this dear old woman back to her home?"

"You ain't old. You look good. And sure we'll help you home. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you got hurt and we could have prevented it."

His smile lit up Nodoka's heart.

Nabiki meanwhile was sweating a little. She had only meant to lift the woman's spirit, but it actually appeared that she was interested in "riding the wild stallion". I'll have to remember not to tease Ranma anymore about women.

Shit! If those girls in his classes find out I might allow them a night or two with him...

DAMN IT! NABIKI NO BAKA!

She was so busy mentally hitting herself with a mallet, she failed to notice as the surrounding buildings became more and more familiar as Nodoka gave directions on which turns to take to get her home, seeming to make herself more comfortable in the arms of the manly man carrying her.

Finally, they arrived. "Here we are, home sweet home."

Ranma and Nabiki both paled a little as they saw the sign by the door.

"Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts, Saotome School of Dragon Kendo Arts. Challengers accepted by appointment only."

Ranma was the first to find his breath. "Um, how do you know the Tendos, Nodoka?"

"Oh, I came here five years ago looking for my worthless husband. He promised to return with my son after a training trip. But I found him hiding here. I even found out the bastard told my son I was dead. Can you imagine that?"

She failed to notice as the married couple grew incredibly pale.

Nabiki finally stuttered out a question. "You...you wouldn't h...happen to be Nodoka Saotome, would you?"

"Oh, yes, dear. Though I may take up my maiden name. Oh, where are my manners, I forgot to ask who you two were."

"Um, we're Ranma and Nabiki Saotome. And we're sorry about this...mom."

Nodoka looked at him with wide eyes, before her motherly desire to embrace her son met her daydreams of a few minutes ago of what to do with the manly man holding her. The two tracks of thought intercepted and caused a mental train wreck, making the Saotome elder faint.

Ranma just sighed as the woman passed out. "Nabiki, I think you just tried to set my mother up as a mistress. Nabiki?" He looked over to his side to see that his wife had also passed out.

The above was from chapter 2 of:
R-SM 'Can't Go Home Again' by Innortal - [Dld Date=04/09/2006] - [Dld Size=123kb] - [Dld Files=7] - [Status=Inactive]

• [Author1] http://www.mediaminer.org/user_info.php/115688/
• [Author2] http://www.fanfiction.net/u/681915/Innortal

[PCHeintz72]

Some would call it a lot of names, as a matter of fact. The most frequently used, when directed at it, would be either "Aaah!" or "Aaaah!", or an occasional, full-fledged, "Aaaaaaaaaah!" The pitch and length of the "-a" usually conveyed the amount of fear and disgust it struck into the hearts of the humans who sighted it. Never mind that all it ever wanted was a little nourishment and a place to rest.

Had it been able to think in human terms and realize that its kind had been loathed and hunted down by the humans throughout history, it would have laughed. Screw you, it would have said, and your momma too. My kind has survived the ice-age while your ancestors were still hanging off tree-limbs and didn't know what to do with a banana other than to eat it. Not that it would have done any different, mind you; about the banana, that is.

Tonight, however, it had only thoughts for one thing - namely, a place to rest. Preferably somewhere dark, and slightly damp. It moved.

Distance, of course, was never an issue; nor was height. There was only forward and backward, and sometimes left and right. All objects were either flat or mostly-flat, and the only differences lay in the wetness, softness, and the amount of heat they produced.

It had just traversed a vast terrain of cold-dry-flat-hard, through another part of cold-dry-flat-hard, and was now on something completely different: cool-dry-mostly-flat-soft. And there was a fragrance in the air nearby, an enticing scent that it had never encountered before. It decided to investigate.

The surface underneath its feet shifted, then shifted some more. It didn't matter in the slightest. It pressed onward, onward, onward, and finally hit the jackpot: lukewarm-slightly-damp-mostly-flat-pretty-soft. Not its usual type of resting place, but it wasn't all that picky about having a change in habitat. It tucked its feet inward and nestled its head against this lukewarm-slightly-damp-mostly-flat-pretty-soft.

Had it been able to appreciate the glorious view laid out before its eyes, it would have thought: Lo, and it was pink.

What it thought was: Sleep.

What a waste.

and later:

She stretched softly, arching her back into the air for a tiniest instant as a small tremor danced across her pale skin, before she fell back into the yielding warmth of the mattress.

An arm languidly made its way across her stomach, up over her head, and in the end found itself buried under the mass of disheveled emerald tresses. A chancy deep breath made the kinks across the plunging v-line on her nightgown wink out for a brief moment. Then, before she let out the breath she was holding, she felt it.

Small, feathery taps along the inside of her left leg.

Still in the ethereal state between dreaming and waking, Setsuna shrugged it off, let out the breath, and continued to sleep. Besides, the feeling was actually somewhat pleasant, the waking part of her mind decided; not unlike the smooth fingers of a gentle lover leisurely caressing her skin. She snored softly.

The taps continued. And began to climb up her leg.

She obliged.

The taps went higher, past the curve of her knee and up against her thigh. It was starting to tickle.

The soft snoring stopped.

Somewhat alert now, Setsuna's mind tried to collect itself from slumber and produce a coherent thought. The velvety touches continued, not unlike the smooth fingers -

Saotome-san?

of a gentle lover -

Wait a minute.

leisurely -

That, that's too high.

caressing her skin -

Stop it; hold on a second.

and resting against -

You've got a fianc‚e!

the secret -

.And we've only known each other for two weeks! Stop! Saotome-san!

Setsuna shot up, scrunching her legs against her chest in reflex as she curled herself into a ball, hands covering the area between her legs protectively. A scarlet blush matching her gown bloomed across her cheeks as she looked wildly about, drawing in rugged deep breaths all the while. Strange, though, there was no Saotome-san. It was only her, sitting in the middle of the mattress in the dark, her hair a mess like the crumpled bed-sheets underneath her. She sighed in relief. Then her mind immediately fired the unanswered question:

Well, if it wasn't Saotome-san, then what the hell was that crawling up my.

Uncomprehending, curious, and slightly apprehensive, she lifted her nightgown up past her hips.

x x x

Red eyes stared at a pair of antennae.

Antennae waved: This is my turf, lady.

Red eyes flew wide open.

The above was from chapter 3 of:
R-SM 'Timed Vacation' by ukie1 - [Dld Date=10/03/2003] - [Dld Size=250kb] - [Dld Files=7] - [Status=Inactive]

• [Direct] http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1321139/1/Timed_Vacation

[Spokavriel]

SPOILER - Show Spoiler

"Chicken." Rei commented between spoonfuls of ice cream. "It's easy. Just walk up to him and ask him out."

Ami favored her friend with a dry look. "And that's obviously worked oh-so-well for you."

"Hey!"

"Maybe you should ask somebody with more experience." Usagi inserted, glancing down the counter to the Arcade's proprietor. "I mean look at Miss Saotome. She's beautiful! If she doesn't know how to pick up a guy, nobody does."

Makoto let her spoon hand in her mouth for a moment, analyzing her friend's suggestion. "You know, Ami, meatball head might just be right this time around. She's totally hot, for lack of a better word. I'd be surprised if she doesn't get her pick of guys."

Ami poked at her own bowl pensively. "I don't know."

"Come on, she helps us out all the time." Minako added, nudging the dark haired girl. "She won't mind giving you pointers on how to nab Shiro-kun. Miss Saotomeeeee!"

Ranma's attention was drawn from her idle chatter with another patron and back to the girls. She drifted back over to their group with a peaceful smile that was all but guaranteed to put anybody at ease. "What can I do for you girls?"

Minako grinned broadly, jabbing her thumb into her friend. "Ami has a question for you."

"Umm. Uh." The gentle curiosity radiating from Ranma's crystal blue eyes all but drew the words from Ami. "I, um. Need help picking up a guy."

The redhead blinked, stroking the ponytail that had seen fit to drape itself over her left shoulder. "I. You don't really need my advice."

"Oh, pah-lease." Rei rolled her eyes. "You have to dress down to keep the guys off you."

Among other things, Ranma thought, trapped by some measure of truth in Rei's statement. While she didn't exactly dress down, per se, just very conservatively, which in turn did affect the number of guys that tended to ask her out. if only by a small margin. The woman mentally shrugged. The fact that she actually was beautiful was a condition she had long since become used to and indifferent to simultaneously. Unable to refute the girl's observations, she simply waited while they took her silence as an invitation to continue.

"Ami really likes this guy at school," Usagi began.

".but is just too darn shy for her own good." Makoto continued.

"So she needs some pointers on how to approach him." Rei rounded out the explanation.

"And we know the guys are just all over you." Minako pointed out as a closing argument, eliciting nods from all five girls. In that moment, Ami's involuntary counseling session turned into a pointed group interest for every girl involved. After all, what aspiring, boy-crazy teenage girl wouldn't want advice from a master such as the one before them? The woman was just too good looking not to have her pick of men.

The redhead gave her ponytail another stroke before flipping it back over her shoulder, resigning herself to her fate with a patience won only through years of experience. Maybe she could even steer them away from her more extreme experiences. With that thought in mind, Ranma settled in. "Well, first, you should never come on too strong. Few guys like a strange girl who suddenly comes out of the blue and hangs all over them, glomps and such."

"Makes sense." Makoto shrugged.

"Take notes, Minako." Rei grinned, causing the blonde to growl.

"Likewise, don't chase them all around." Ranma continued, as if instructing pupils in a classroom. "Everybody likes attention, but everybody needs space too. If you chase him too much, you'll chase him away."

"Subtlety." Ami concluded, mentally jotting the point down. Ranma nodded.

"Exactly. But in moderation." The proprietor warned, clicking a nail on the counter as if to emphasis the point. "There's a fine line between subtlety and manipulation. The latter will end your romance before it even starts."

"She's good." Usagi whispered over to Rei, who nodded in kind.

"And the last thing you want to do is resort to drugs, blackmail and explosives." Ranma stated with utter seriousness, and the nods that had been following her lesson in romance instantly ground to halt. Explosives? "Extorting or brainwashing your date will not endear him to your affections. And don't-" Ranma paused, noting the wide eyes riveted to her person. "What? Why are you staring at me?"

Usagi opened her mouth, but words failed to come out. Ami, Minako, Makato and Rei simply stared. "That was. um."

Riiiing!

All eyes snapped to the phone down the counter, and every female involved was grateful for the distraction, if for their own separate reasons. Ranma flashed them a brilliant smile. "Oops. Continue this later, girls."

The eyes tracked her as she moved off, and once the proprietor was out of nominal earshot, the conspiratorial whispers began.

"What the hell was that!" Minako hissed in disbelief, still unable to tear her eyes away from the owner of the Crown Arcade across the room.

"Where, exactly did that conversation go horribly wrong?" Makoto asked, shaking her head.

"Drugs." Rei replied with equal disbelief. "I think around the mention of using drugs to seduce Shiro."

Ami had been reduced to a blinking stupor. "I wasn't planning on using explosives."

"You think it was a joke?" Minako finally managed to tear her eyes off the redhead.

"You know Miss Saotome better that." Usagi glanced back at across the room. "She doesn't joke. At least not like that."

"Then what was that?" Makoto questioned, still unable to wrap her brain around the turn in conversation. "Oh my God. you don't think.?"

"It's the only explanation." Usagi Tsukino nodded. "I mean, what else could it be?"

Ami cocked her head. "So you're saying.?"

"She was describing her own experiences!" Rei concluded, bridging the same mental gap. "Miss Saotome used all those methods in her younger days to catch guys.!"

".And only reaped sorrow." Usagi confirmed sadly. "Leaving her much wiser. but alone."

Makoto was practically sniffling now. "That's so sad!"

"We have to do something to help her!" Minako piped, gaining the nods her friends.

Usagi pushed a fist into her palm, purpose burning in her eyes. "Let's go girls. We have some planning to do!"

The above was from chapter 1 of:
R-SM 'Age of Titans' by Ozzallos-TeflonBooger - [Dld Date=02/12/2011] - [Dld Size=127kb] - [Dld Files=4] - [Status=Inactive]

• [Author1] http://www.rakhal.com/ozzallos/index.htm
• [Author2] http://www.fanfiction.net/u/891127/Ozzallos

It should be noted, I think he moved this to his crapspace story...

I think he did but it is also one that I really hope comes back and gets continued. Its one of the few stories moved there that really hasn't gone far enough to get any chance of continuation without Ozzallos doing so.

[Spokavriel]

To compliment Page 7 "No Pizza for Dead Usagi" see the following.

"Don't tell the Headmaster. He might try something again."

"Oh please for the love of God, 'Mione, don't say that!" Harry looked over Hermione's shoulder at the paper she was holding. "So, what do they say about last night?"

Hermione set down the international news section and showed Harry the front cover. Half the page was devoted to a photo of Harry (as Heather Snape), Moon, Venus and Hermione eating pizza at the mall. Hermione translated the headline for him:

SAILOR MOON RETURNS, EATS PIZZA

"Hmmmm, pizza! That was fun time, wasn't it?" Usagi was looking over Hermione's other shoulder. She really, really missed pizza.

Chapter 10 of Violence Inherent in the System.

[ijp92]

this one is a post-Ghost Story Dresden Files fic.
Back in Black

pulling one more item from the bag; a t-shirt. "And this. I thought it…appropriate for the occasion."

She held it up so that I could read the front – in white letters on black.

Back By Popular Demand

I couldn't help it. I laughed until I actually passed out.

Famous Last Words

"Monty Python." Nicodemus said, his tone vaguely questioning.

"Monty Python." I confirmed.

"As your last words." He sounded as though he was trying to wrap his mind around it.

"Well, I never got a chance to use that quote before now, and since I'm about to die, I figured what the hell."

Nicodemus looked at me, and then his mouth started quirking. "Just for that," He said, amusement colouring his tone, "I'm going to let you live."

And then he left.

[Té Rowan]

An oldie but goodie:

“Pandas may be an endangered species but that doesn’t excuse attacking innocent boys!” A girl with a really ridiculous hairstyle and a cheerleader costume declared.

“Attacking hunks is something best left to teenage girls,” declared a similarly clad girl with a red bow in her hair. On seeing her team-mates stare at her she blinked. “What?”

“I recognize those eyes,” said a girl with short hair and a blue uniform. “That’s no panda. SHINE AQUA ILLUSION!”

Genma dodged and began to run. He might have made it if he thought to drop Ranma.

“DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!”

“Mercury’s scary,” said Sailor Moon to enthusiastic nods from the rest of the team.

Then it began to rain. On seeing the black-haired boy turn into a red-haired girl, Sailor Mercury got even more upset.

From "A Silvery Moon Omake" by Metroanime

[Noy Telinú]

It should be noted that that the Wizard Tournament (as the Ministry had decided to call it, instead of trying to find a sane name for a competition that had 7 contestants) was shown in all the Wizarding households who had purchased one of the “magic boxes” and had it connected to the “magic cable.” What they didn’t know is that it was just a regular TV with cable and they were all being hit for a big fine each month for power and a whole bunch of channels they didn’t know they were paying for, even if it was just basic cable. They also didn’t know was that the Wizard Tournament was actually being broadcast by ESPN on basic cable and was bringing in the biggest audience since they started broadcasting. It was also on Pay-per-view on satellite. The Wizarding World was currently and constantly exposed to the whole world, and they didn’t even know it.

It was also gathering a rather large number of fans. In particular a number of powerful figures were keeping a close eye on things. One specific Latverian dictator called up his aquatic friend to place a little bet.

“DOOM puts five million on the pink haired girl,” Dr. Doom said into the phone.

“Ignorant surface fool!” Namor bellowed into the other end. “It is perfectly clear that Rasputin will prevail! The odds are 126341 to 1 against Gwynn!”

“NEVER QUOTE DOOM THE ODDS!!!”

From thinking in Little Green boxes 36 http://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-21031-36/DireSquirrel+Thinking+in+Little+Green+Boxes.htm

[Spokavriel]

"Prisoner. Pass through the door."

Oh, goody. Every time they've let her pass through a door, there was an actual person on the other side. She liked it when they let her talk to other people. This place could be so bloody lonely. She opened the door and stepped into the room beyond.

"Look at you all grown up! Little Nymphadora, I can't tell you how happy I am to be here with you today!"

There were four men in the room on the other side of a large table, but she focused on just one. He looked much better than his Wanted Poster showed, but that was to be expected when he was free and she was the one in trouble. Tonks briefly considered returning to the yellow hall, but thought better of it. She may not have been a Gryffie like the man standing before her, but she was no coward.

"Tonks. My name is Tonks, you prat."

"Is that any way to speak to your family head, Nymmie?"

"Mum was blasted off the tapestry. We're not Blacks. I seem to remember you getting removed from the family tree as well." She tried to put some heat behind her glare, but seeing as how she was the prisoner in this room and he was not, well there wasn't much intimidating going on.

"Shows what you know." The man across from her brushed some imaginary lint off his shoulder. "I, Lord Sirius Black of the Ancient and Noble House of Black, do now in front of witnesses reinstate my cousin by blood, Nymphadora Tonks into the family."

Sirius raised his left hand, on which a large black and gold ring sat.

Tonks stood there, frozen.

Sirius added the next line in a stage whisper. "This is where you kiss my ring and accept me as your Lord."

"But... but why should I? You're a wanted criminal. You betrayed the Potters!"

Sirius just looked skyward... not that there was a sky to look at... and sighed. He then pulled out a wand and held it aloft. Tonks tried not to flinch, but she was really near her wit's end standing helpless in the same room with the worst traitor in English modern magical history. He saw the flinch, of course.

"Oh, for the love of Merlin!" He raised his wand high causing her to take a fearful step back. "I, Sirius Black, swear on my life and magic that I did not betray the Potters to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. It was Peter Pettigrew that framed me and ratted out the Potters."

Sirius lowered his wand.

"There! Happy? Please, Nymmie, sit down."

Maybe it was the stress of being held prisoner for Merlin knows how long or maybe it was the fear of being hexed by Sirius Black, but for whatever reason, Tonks pretty much fell apart as soon as she sat down. The official looking French aurors in the room remained impassive as this kind of emotion was to be expected on occasion. Sirius calmly walked around the table and began to rub the crying metamorph's shoulders.

"It'll all be better soon, Nymmie. That's why I'm here... still want you to kiss the ring, though. I was serious about that bit. Well... I'm always Sirius, but this time I'm serious. Seriously."

From Chapter 11 the bankrupt(not really) chapter of The Little Veela That Could.

[Spokavriel]

Same Story different Chapter.

"Excuse me, Hermione?"

She turned around. "Good morning, Laura. Can I help you with something?"

The Head Girl looked to both sides before dipping in a little closer. "We are hosting important guests today. Madam Maxime has requested your presence in the Yellow Room."

Just when she felt like she was beginning to fit in, something comes along to single her out yet again. No doubt Ron would say 'bloody hell' right about now if he were here.

"Thank you, Laura. Perhaps we'll see each other again at lunch?"

Laura smiled and nodded before walking over to a few of her closer friends.

Hermione mourned the breakfast she would never eat and made for the nearby Yellow Room. Hermione remembered the smaller meeting hall, one of a dozen such halls distinguished by visual themes set about the school's main floor. These rooms served both as special function classrooms and rooms for more social functions like clubs or private meetings. Hermione suppressed a snicker as she thought of Beauxbatons becoming a convention center should the market for magical schools ever dry up.

It was this idle thought passing through her mind which kept Hermione completely out of it and off balance even as she passed through a large yellow door with gold leaf detailing.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

She nearly died of shock. Magical fireworks shot out of table displays and burst immediately overhead, each fiery orb looking like Hermione as she appeared either on her eleventh birthday or as she did today. Once the red and orange flares faded permitting her to see again, the sixteen year old witch found that the Yellow Room was full of her friends and family... all of them.

Hermione would have wiped the tears of happiness out of her eyes if her arms weren't full of a happily chirping nine year old angel.

She almost couldn't believe it. Mum. Dad. Beauxbatons lets muggles onto school grounds? And Harry and Jeanne were both here! Not that she wasn't beyond happy that her dead boyfriend and their friend, the Maid of Orleans, had both come to visit her on her birthday, but her overloaded emotions were defaulting to logical sub-routines. Wasn't this school warded against spectral activity? Maybe the ghost repellers were part of a hollow shell type ward...

Cake! Cake! Cake!

A hyperactive Gabby swung away from Hermione and began to pull her to the cake and present table, negligently batting others out of the way with her wings as she went. She was at a party- Hermione's birthday party- and she was skipping her school and visiting the big kid school and that cake smelled so goooooood...

"Gabrielle! Stop this instant!"

Hermione watched as Gabby's angelic form dropped away and took the little girl's good mood with it.

"I'm sorry, Momma, but the cake smelled so good."

"Yes, we're getting to that, dear, but Hermione may want to greet everyone who came to see her first. I'm sure we can still have cake before she has to head off to class."

"Yes, Momma." Pout, pout, pout.

"Don't worry Gabby. I promise you will have cake soon, okay?" Yes! As Hermione wrapped Little Angel in a warm hug, crystal blue eyes peeked over the older girl's shoulder and stared longingly at cake.

Chapter 13

[ijp92]

All We Know of Heaven -- Chapter 1 by Prospero Hibiki

No one ever believes me when I tell the truth. Or when I lie for that matter. Life sucks.

Chapter 4

The really tough decision would be choosing between the two planets. Aegir of course has its oceans populated by electrically charged squid like creatures whereas Njord has those razor sharp demon shrimp. Decisions, decisions.

"So I hear the lot of you weaklings got your hides handed to you by some thousand year old geezer that probably has two fake hips and a uses a walker." Instantly the animosity of the room skyrockets. Perfect.

Yeah, the Anything Goes School of Polite Conversation hasn't failed me yet. If only because I've never really used it before. I mean, honestly, that crap's hard!

"You have exactly thirty seconds to provide an explanation of your actions before I ruin the walls of this poor man's shop with an abstract art piece."

[PCHeintz72]

I had always hoped that one would have been continued

[ckosacranoid]

you guys come up with some very cool stuff in this tread. now i have to go though fics and find some stuff to add to it that are amusing somehow.

[PCHeintz72]

How about this one:

In a park in another universe, on another Earth, two friends were sitting on a bench, enjoying the sunset. These two had been friends for a few years now, helping each grow up in a little way, spanning time itself to stay together.
But like all of their friends, they had one problem.

"Usa, I really need to find a boyfriend."

Her pink haired companion simply turned towards her. "You think you got it bad? Since mom met dad when she was fourteen, she's spent the last two years trying to set me up with just about every noble known to Crystal Tokyo. They're either too fat, too stuck up, too hungry for power, or just want to get into my pants. Trust me, Hotaru, no attention is just as bad as too much attention. I finally had to convince Puu that if I didn't come back here to get away from all that, I might become a danger to the continuation of Crystal Tokyo."

Hotaru looked at her. "How'd you do that?"

Usa smiled. "I simply said I either go back, or I'll start blowing shit up."

Hotaru's eyes immediately doubled in size. "You really wouldn't do that, would you?"

Usa just shook her head. "Trust me; if Haruka and Michiru tried to set you up with losers like my mom did, you'd be ready to level a city or two, yourself."

Hotaru could only shake her head. She tried to imagine what she'd do if she was set up with guys like those bullies at school, and internally cringed. Hell, if she was forced to marry someone like that, it was safe to assume that Earth was on a countdown.

"I got an idea!"

Hotaru turned to her friend. "Okay, I'm game. What is it?"

"Well, how about we find a guy in this time. Then he can be both our consorts."

"Um, is that legal?"

Usa continued to smile. "Sure. I mean, Minako and Makato have several consorts each. I hear the guys are always tired and usually in the hospital for some reason. There are even rumors that they have their consorts collared so they can't leave the grounds. And Mom, Dad, and Rei have their `special parties' that I'm not supposed to know about. I figure that between the two of us, we should be able to find the perfect guy. Then when I return to Crystal Tokyo, we'll have our King, and we'll always have our best friend with us."

"But won't he be just a normal human?"

She had to frown at that. "Yeah, I suppose so. But there has to be a way. I mean, Ami's husband has been alive for close to a hundred years, and he isn't grey or wrinkly or anything. I figure we could ask Puu. She should know what to do."

"I suppose." Hotaru was trying to work this through in her head. It sounded like a good idea. Between the two of them, surely they could find the perfect man for them. Someone who wouldn't be afraid of the power they wielded, someone who wasn't looking for a way into their pants, someone who would respect them and fight for them; but with a little more effort than they tended to see from Mamoru.

Basically, they both wanted to find someone who would love them for who they were, not what they were.

Hotaru nodded her head. Damn, it must be bad if we're considering sharing a guy. But they do say a good man is hard to find; why hold out for the rotten ones?

Usa bowed her head, motioning for Hotaru to do the same. "Oh, kami that controls destiny. Please grant our request and deliver unto us a man who shall be our husband, the dream that we both wish him to be."

"ROOOAARRR!"

They both looked up to see a new monster not more than thirty meters away. Hotaru was the first to respond, looking up towards the heavens. "That's not funny, damn it!"

And later in the story:

He still needed to get his supplies for school tomorrow, as well as pick up some uniforms, since Setsuna had been very adamant that he dress appropriately in school.

Entering a store, he was greeted by a saleslady. "Hello, may I help you?"

"Yes, I need a uniform for Juuban High that will be good to fight in as well."

She blinked, her smile growing. "Do you have magic powers?"

Ranma blinked, looking around. "Huh? Did I end up on some hidden camera show again?"

She shook her head. "No, sir, we just wish to keep such uniforms away from simple street fighters. They are reserved for people who might use them to keep others safe. Besides, it costs us business in the long run if people keep buying them and decide our quality is lacking in some respect."

Ranma blinked. That...had made sense. "Well, I have a magical curse that changes me to a girl with cold water."

The girl nodded. "We have some special t-shirts to help support your girl form's chest. Some of our clientele say it helps reduce strain on their backs."

"You have a lot of customers with that problem?" asked Ranma, feeling like he was being tricked again.

"More than you'd think," said the girl. "After all, this is Juuban, and we have our fair share of crazy events and people. I mean, we have defenders of Love and Justice who dress in short skirts."

Seeing him nod in agreement, she continued. "So, what type of fighter: spiritual, physical, or energy attacks?"

Seeing Ranma blink again, she explained. "We need to know what type of outfit will best suit you. Will you need pockets for spirit wards, material that can take a pounding without ripping, or bursting into flames with an attack you launch."

Ranma smiled. This was beginning to be the first shopping trip he was ever on that he could get behind it and enjoy. If they only had a store like this in my world.

Hmm, maybe they did. I never did explore that Juuban District. "All three, actually. I just got a spirit type attack last week."

She nodded. "Now, is there a height difference between your forms? Are they both human, or will one have wings or any other extras?"

"Nope, both human. I do lose about a foot in height when I change to a girl."

"Very well then, sir. Come this way and we'll see if we can get you a great outfit."

Two hours later, Ranma left the store with a new wardrobe. "Wow, this is great!" He decided that if he did find a way home, he would have to stop and ask for a uniform that went by Furinkan standards.

The girl was already on the phone to her boss. He had bet her an extra 500 an hour that her idea would be a bust. Between that boy and that Naru girl who always seemed to be getting captured, her new paranormal school line was sure to take off.

The above were from chapters 1 and 6 of:

R-SM 'A New Home' by Innortal - [Dld Date=03/18/2006] - [Dld Size=167kb] - [Dld Files=7] - [Status=Inactive]

• [Author1] http://www.mediaminer.org/user_info.php/115688/
• [Author2] http://www.fanfiction.net/u/681915/Innortal

[PCHeintz72]

How about this one:

"- all I'm saying is that I wish Setsuna could be a bit less cryptic. "Investigate the Inner's new sensei" is all well and good, but come on! At least a location!"

"That's right!" spoke Hotaru (Saturn) in a slightly grumpy tone. "If she has to cut our holiday short, she should at least give us a good reason for it."

The aquamarine-haired ruler of Neptune nodded gently at her lover and adopted daughter as the Outers approached the shrine's meeting hall. Truth be known, Pluto's `Mysterious Advisor' gimmick was grating on her a little as well.

"Nonetheless," she said, "If Setsuna-san felt the need to call us in, there must be something going on. We can talk with her after the issue is resolved. Now," her tone hardened slightly as the hall came into view, "remember what we discussed. No jumping to conclusions and no blindly attacking people. Haruka."

".not my fault the kid looked like a youma" grumbled the Senshi of Uranus.

"You nearly skewered the pizza delivery boy, Haruka".

"Oh come on, that acne was moving! Hotaru, you saw it, right?"

The dark-haired girl simply shook her head, mirth in her purple eyes.

"Traitor."

"So," Michiru smoothly interjected, "we will meet with this new sensei, assess them and gently gauge the Inner's reaction. Ok?"

Haruka sullenly nodded (muttering something about "getting taken off my vacation and now can't have any fun") as the sound of tired but cheerful voices heralded the return of the other Senshi.

`Well, that saves us some time' she thought. Gazing in the direction of the voices, she noted the ruffled and dusty appearance of the young women. Clearly, there had been a fight.

A fight no-one had invited her to! Haruka frowned a little at this. Sure, they weren't really on the best of terms with the Inner Senshi, but this? Not telling her about a fight was just rude.

"Easy dear" murmured Michiru, noting the `missed a fight' look on her love's face. "Remember, as far as they know, we're still on vacation".

The blond huffed and turned back to the approaching Inners. The girls were in good spirits, it seemed, chatting happily with a figure in the middle of their group whose features she couldn't make out.

"- where did you get the thermos from, anyway?" asked Ami curiously.

"Hidden Weapons Space. A Chinese Amazon wushu trick I picked up a while ago. Comes in pretty handy sometimes" replied the figure in a masculine voice.

`Ok', thought Haruka. `That's their sensei, huh?' About to step forward and introduce herself, the blond brawler was frozen in her steps as the figure turned and she caught sight of his face.

`No, no, it couldn't be him. I'd never be that lucky.'

Oblivious to Haruka's inner struggle, Makoto, noting the Outer's presence, had begun introductions.

"Ranma-san, these are the Outer Senshi. Tomoe Hotaru, Sailor Saturn."

The frail girl bowed and whispered a shy "Pleased to meet you".

".Kaioh Michiru, Sailor Neptune."

A polite bow from the graceful woman.

".And Tenoh Haruka, Sailor Uranus."

"."

Makoto blinked at Haruka's gob smacked expression, shrugged and continued. "Anyway, ladies, this is Saotome Ranma, out new Martial Arts sensei".

"Hey. Pleased `ta meet ya."

Haruka, who had begun trembling as the introduction progressed, finally found her voice.

"You're.Saotome Ranma?"

"Uh, yeah" replied the (now) black-haired youth cautiously.

"Saotome Ranma from Nerima?"

Ranma's instincts were yelling at him to flee by this point. This was looking like either fianc‚e or rival territory. Nonetheless, he nodded.

"I see." The blond nodded thoughtfully and took a deep breath.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! OhmygodOhmygodOhmygod! Saotome Ranma! You're Saotome Ranma! Eeeeheeheeheeheehee!"

Never, in all their memories of this life or their last, could the other Senshi recall being this dumbfounded. They had seen giant pink hearts blast youma to dust, talking cats, magical princesses and men in tuxedos throwing roses and shrugged, but never had they expected to ever behold a giggling, fangirling Tenoh Haruka.

Said Senshi had by now managed to contain her squealing (to Ranma and the other's relief) and a slightly stunned silence fell over the group.

"So."said Ranma in a slightly vacant tone, "Does she get like that often?"

Still shocked, the Senshi could only shake their heads.

Hotaru, face creased in an expression of intense thought, abruptly straitened in realisation and pointed at the pigtailed boy.

"Ah! I remember now! You're the one Haruka-papa has all those pictures of!"

Ranma blinked at that. "Pictures?"

"Mm!" replied Hotaru (ignoring Haruka's frantic gestures for silence). "Lots of them! Photographs and magazine cuttings, all in a scrapbook under her matMMPH!"

"Now, now, Hotaru, sweetie" stuttered the short-haired blond as she clamped a hand over her adopted daughter's mouth. "I'm sure Saotome-sama doesn't want to hear about that, hahaha."

Sadly, things were not going her way. Her heart sank as she saw the thoughtful frown on her idol's face.

"Hang on. Why would you have pictures of me? And why would ya go all fangirly? It's not like I'm special, or nothin'."

"'Not special'?!" roared Haruka in outrage. "'NOT SPECIAL?!?' That's ridiculous! You're a legend! You beat a DRAGON for god's sake! Not special, why I oughtta-!"

"Haruka dear, go to your Calm Place please."

".Hai."

"I apologise for that, Saotome-san" sighed Michiru as the blond concentrated on her breathing. "Haruka-chan is very dedicated to the Martial Arts and has followed your exploits for a long time now."

And from later in the story:

“Ladies,” said Ranma, blissfully unaware of the inner turmoil of his students. “I’d like you to meet Tendo Kasumi, my fiancée. Kas-chan, the Sailor Senshi.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” the graceful girl bowed. “Ranma-kun suggested I join in with your training, so…” she trailed off, blinking.

“Oh my,” she continued, noting the ‘staring into headlights’ look on the faces of all present, moon-cabbits included. “Are they alright, Ran-kun?”

“T-Tendo Kasumi?” croaked Rei, a slight shiver evident in her hands.

“Hai.”

“Brownie Baker?” asked Minako, eyes very intent.

“Er, hai?”

“She of the kitchen and dojo, provider of the Food Divine?” breathed Makoto, her air that of one hoping against hope.

“Um…possibly?”

Ranma, knowing the collective intake of breath for what it was, resignedly covered his ears while gesturing to Kasumi to do the same.

“EEEEEEEEE!!! The Goddess has arrived!”

“What on earth have you been telling them about me, Ran-kun?” murmured Kasumi in a tone equal parts exasperated and flattered.

“Good things, good things. I might have gotten a little carried away on how nice you are, but the ‘goddess’ thing is Rei’s fault. She’s a Miko, and when I said your miso soup was “food of the gods”, well…” he grinned sheepishly.

The above were from chapters 9 and 12 of:

R-SM 'Butterflies and Wild Horses' by Smylingsnake - [Dld Date=05/08/2010] - [Dld Size=409kb] - [Dld Files=13] - [Status=Inactive]

• [Direct] http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4528008/1/Butterflies_and_Wild_Horses