The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

[Not-Going-to-Tell]

FromHappy Anniversary, a Megaman fic.

TERMINATION OF NEW TARGET TO COMMENCE WHEN BODILY FUNCTIONS RETURN TO NORMAL,” stated the purple ninja.

[lwf58]

TERMINATION OF NEW TARGET TO COMMENCE WHEN BODILY FUNCTIONS RETURN TO NORMAL,” stated the purple ninja.

Meh. That line's not as funny as it might be with the surrounding scene to add context.

Sounds a lot like a line we used in the NETTG sprite comic.

[Not-Going-to-Tell]

from The Great Landscaping Crisis

Naruto, as was customary for when he trained, created 100 clones.

There were (emphasis on 'were') 30 Kumo-nin.

There were 8 Squads of Oto-nin, totaling 32.

Naruto did the same thing that he always did when he was surprised after making clones: He lost control, and his clones began to blow up.

The enemy ninja did the same thing that most people do when confronted with massive amounts of exploding clones: They exploded.

[Questara]

Ino scowled.

"Who is that, another of your 'friends'?" She asked sarcastically.

"That?" Yume blinked innocently. "Don't you have eyes, honey? that's Naruto."

Ino froze, looking at the pale skinned, golden eyed fanged being that cocked an eyebrow with amusmement.

"...you're kidding." Ino said flatly.

"Actually, she is not. Dattebayo." Naruto deadpanned.

Fateless Vs Canon
You need to register to access it, but it is well worth it for the number of stories not posted anywhere else.
and the here is a link to the original Fateless

[CRBWildcat]

From Shampoo 1/2:

The stewardesses looked down the aisle at the two unusual occupants now seated in row A12. Both were veterans of the airlines, having had to deal with two terrorist hijackings, one minor mid-air collision, and a losing Super Bowl team. Despite that, the two passengers were by far the most unusual they ever had.

“I’m kind of at a loss here. How should we treat them?” The first stewardess asked her partner.

“I’m not sure. Do we have any bamboo or bananas?” Her partner responded.

Mousse-panda looked curiously at his seating companions. It took him two adjustments to his glasses to realize the person next to him had gone quiet because she had turned into an animal at the same time he did, when they were accidentally splashed with the cold water. Mousse-panda was more than a little at a loss. What did one say to a gorilla wearing a red headband and carrying a goldfish in a bowl on its lap?

*So, why did you decided to travel to Jusenkyou?* Mousse-panda asked with his sign.

The gorilla grumbled something in reply.

“What did she say?” The blonde woman, the one that had spilled the water and had been traveling with the now changed woman, asked Mousse-panda.

*She said, “It was my stupid partner’s idea.”* Mousse-panda translated.

“Could you ask her when she’s going to get off of me?” The blonde was currently underneath the irate gorilla, the four hundred pounds of simian using the girl as an extra seat cushion.

The gorilla grumbled again.

*She said you can ask her questions directly. She still understands you. And her answer is whenever she gets cured .*

“That might not happen too soon.” The blond woman began to sniffle, as she was about to cry. The gorilla mumbled something else and indicated something about the goldfish in the fishbowl.

*She said that isn’t going to work this time. She also wants to know how you’re going to explain to Ayeka about what happened to her sister.*

The blonde looked upwards toward her partner. “Why should I explain?”

The gorilla grumbled and Mousse-panda translated. *Because it’s your fault. You’re the one that wanted to go to China and take Sasami along.*

The blond considered this. “Ayeka might not take the news too well. Are you going to protect me?” she asked the gorilla.

The gorilla growled a bit longer this time. *If you mean protect in the sense that she is going to help Ayeka kill you, then the answer is yes. If you mean protect as in keep you from harm, then the answer is no.*

“WAAAAAA!!! I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” The blonde began to cry in earnest. Somehow, the goldfish in the bowl seemed to give a sad look towards her then gave one to the gorilla. It took a while, but the gorilla’s scowl softened. She then grumbled for Mousse-panda to translate once again.

*She said she’ll try to help explain things, but only because Sasami wants it that way.*

The blonde cheered up at that, then addressed the gorilla directly. “You know, that curse isn’t so bad.”

The gorilla shot up an eyebrow at that one. She grunted again as Mousse-panda held up his sign. *She wants to know what that’s supposed to mean, and so do I.*

“Well,” the blonde said thoughtfully, “this will help us with undercover work. We can disguise ourselves as circus performers. See, it’s actually a good thing you got that curse. All we need is a cage to put you in.”

The smile she gave her simian partner was the final straw as the gorilla snapped. She gave the bowl to Mousse-panda to hold and picked up the blonde, shaking her back and forth like a rag doll while roaring and bearing her teeth.

Mousse-panda translated once again. *She said “DIE, MIHOSHI!!!”* He observed Mihoshi’s predicament and held up another sign. *If you hadn’t figured that out by now.*

One of the stewardesses made the save by serving bananas and bamboo. Hunger overtook Kiyone-gorilla as she dropped Mihoshi and grabbed a couple of bananas. Mousse-panda did likewise, and snacked on some bamboo, pleased that there were people in the world who had lives almost as screwed up as his.

Now this is the scene that made reading this story worthwhile.

[bissek]

From Senshitech

The footage went out and many watched it. A city was being methodically destroyed, and both air and sea forces devastated.

"So far the robot scorpion has shown a gravitic weapon, a plasma burst, nuclear homing missiles, some sort of forcefield, and considerable strength," said the technician, listening to other technicians on his headset.

The Russian ambassador stood. "I have just received confirmation from my superiors that the events we have been watching are indeed occurring."

"That could merely mean that they are being hoodwinked," began the Pakistani ambassador.

The Russian ambassador slowly put down his headset. Calmly he began picking his way down from where he was seated.

"These tiresome special effects shots are merely propaganda," continued the Pakistani. "My government demands that we - er?"

The Russian finally reached the Pakistani. The Russian bellowed, tightened all his muscles, and burst out of his expensive suit. The Russian then demonstrated that many years ago he had made a name for himself in wrestling.

The translators in their booths were suddenly glad of the fact that they were NOT on the floor of the assembly, and therefore could continue working.

"The respectable Russian ambassador disputes the matter with the honorable Pakistani ambassador and wishes to demonstrate the Mongolian Piledriver," translated one of those translators.

"The forthright Pakistani ambassador wishes to question whether the Russian ambassador's mother was of canine descent," translated another translator, "and wishes to request the assistance of the Greek ambassador."

"The Greek ambassador politely declines and states his desire to retreat from Hadean influences in his immediate environment," translated someone else.

"The ambassador from Turkey wishes to express his dismay at the poorly made chair that he just broke against the head of the Russian ambassador, and refers to the current situation as dealing with excrement," translated some other translator.

Now that the punches were flying (among chairs, notebooks, and other things) old scores were being settled in a refreshingly direct manner. At least if one was not directly involved.

[CRBWildcat]

Omake from a recent chapter of Iheartmwpp's Tsunagari:

Naruto and Sasuke gaped at their old teacher as he let out a low yell. Steam began rising from his skin. His muscles grew even larger than before, causing his vest to tear and fall to the ground. He started growing hair all over his body in shades of white, orange, and black. His ears moved upwards and became more catlike. It was as if he had rapidly transformed into a kind of half-human, half-tiger. He was also carrying a bowl of some type of cereal.

“W-What the hell?” gasped Sasuke, he and Naruto looking on in shock.

“Frosted flakes!” sang Mizuki in a much deeper voice. “They’re more than good; THEY’RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE GREAT!”

Naruto and Sasuke backed away slowly.

[Spokavriel]

I wonder if the author knows they stretched the wrong R.

[Tuisto]

Bit of a long quote here from a "Farscape" and EVERYBODY+some multiverse crossover.

With a dramatic gesture to his right a nightmarish figure seemingly stepped out of nowhere to stand haughtily next to Crichton.

“Well hello there, Dr Baltar, allow me to introduce myself, I'm Harvey,” the cadaverous figure in black leather said in a very cultured voice that simply did match his horrific physique.

Baltar went white in shock as the figure approached him and stared intently down upon him, “Hmm, not a very impressive specimen of your species, John. I wonder what the Cylons saw in him?” he asked casually.

“Well you know maybe it had to do with the unlimited access he had to the Colonial defence mainframes?” remarked Crichton idly.

Harvey cocked his head to side and stared at Baltar, “I suppose that's the reason.”

“But we're getting sidetracked,” Crichton started, “We're here to talk to you and your invisible friend.” He stepped forward slowly towards Baltar.

Baltar took a step away from him, “What are you going to do to me?” he demanded.

Crichton held up a small device shaped like a remote control, “This will activate that,” he said pointing at Baltar's head.

Baltar reached up a hand and his fingers encountered a small metal device attached to the side of his temple. “What is this?!” he demanded in shock, “What have you put in my head!”

“Calm yourself Gaius, he wants you agitated, he wants you to make a mistake,” Six whispered into his ear from where she stood behind him.

Crichton smiled, “Just something that will allow me to see whoever you're talking to.” He pressed a button.

Gaius closed his eyes and braced himself for what was coming, pain most likely, an idle part of his mind thought.

After a second nothing happened, so he slowly cautiously opened his eyes. He found Crichton and Harvey standing there staring at him.

Crichton seemed to be at a loss for words, as he stared at Baltar.

“Well nothing happened! Do you see I have done nothing wrong here and I haven't got an invisible friend!” Baltar shouted in vindication.

“Then pry tell who's the hot blonde in a red dress that's clinging to your back?” Harvey asked looking mildly surprised.

“What?!” cried out Six in surprise, stepping away from Baltar. “How can you see me?!”

“Short answer, modified Goa'uld memory recall technology,” Harvey said succinctly, as he ran appreciative look over Six's body, “And I must say Dr Baltar, that you have truly lucked out when it comes to invisible friends.”

Six sneered at him and folded her arms over her ample bosom in defiance.

Harvey merely stared back smugly with what would have been an attractive smile on any other face but his.

“Why me?” said Crichton despondently.

They all turned to look at him.

“I mean come on I get stuck with this monstrosity,” Crichton said, jutting out his thumb at Harvey, “And you, who betrays humanity, gets a hot blonde?! This is too much! I don't want to play any more!” he cried out indigently at the unfairness of it all.

Harvey looked at John and considered saying something cutting, but then glanced back at Six and said, “She is smoking hot, John.”

Crichton just glared daggers at him in response, “Shut up Harvey.”

HA!
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2020041/35/ ... me_Erpmanr

[Zwzn]

http://forum.spacebattles.com/showthread.php?t=141465&page=4

“Humans have been in conflict with one another, and later with other species, for most of recorded history.” Duval shrugged. “It’s not really all that surprising we got good at it.”

I'm not sure why, but this makes me chuckle.

[Tuisto]

I'm not sure why, but this makes me chuckle.

Because it's true?
I read that earlier today to. Taskforce 43. Awesome story.

end offtopic.

[Zwzn]

http://forum.spacebattles.com/showthread.php?t=142317&page=8

“So what is that?”
Corporal Dayin of the Colonial Garrison frowned at a moving light ahead, squinting into the closing darkness.
“A train, I mean these are train tracks.”
“Nice one genius, I mean why is it heading this way? There aren’t any arrivals planned for a week.”
“Think Cain got a little excited and burned another city early?”
“Wouldn’t surprise me, frakking witch.”
Both soldiers continued to watch the light move closer.
“Odd time for it.”
“Yeah.”
“And don’t they usually slow down?”
“It is traditional.”
“This one isn’t slowing down is it?”
“I don’t think so.”
“What should we do?”
“Well, first of all I’m going to take three steps to the right so I’m not stood on these tracks, then I’m going to call the base.”
“Best idea I’ve heard in years.”

It's rather amusing to see some people acting as if it is perfectly norm for a run away train to be comming at them.

[CRBWildcat]

A scene from Lady Silvamord's Love Lockdown:

-----

“One,” Kisame intones, before purposefully locking eyes with the other four men around the table.

Itachi’s hand tightens into a fist.

“Two.”

Deidara’s visible eye twitches in a rather convulsive manner.

“Three.”

Hidan utters a soft prayer to Jashin-sama for luck.

“Shoot!”

Within the blink of an eye, all of their hands have met in the center of the table, after forming into the symbols that will, ultimately, determine their individual fates.

“Two scissors…one rock…one paper—“Kisame begins calculating, before he is rudely interrupted.

“What the ---- is that?” Hidan screeches, gesturing animatedly at Itachi’s hands. “That’s not legal!”

All eyes swivel to the Uchiha; when Deidara discerns what, exactly, the object of all the controversy is, he gives an unusually high-pitched yelp and nearly leaps into Tobi’s arms. Tobi handles this gamely, and pats the blonde missing-nin on his immaculate head. “There, there, Deidara-senpai,” he soothes, attempting to rock him gently. “It’s just a cute little cockroach!”

The cockroach in question waves its feelers in the air inquisitively. Itachi smirks, thoroughly satisfied with himself.

Deidara has taken refuge behind Tobi, who pats the cockroach lightly with his pinky finger. “Please do not look so angry,” he implores Hidan, who looks infuriated enough to burst a blood vessel. “It is an innocent creature!”

“I demand an inquiry!” Hidan bellows at Kisame, before pointing an accusing finger at Itachi. “This rite is practically ------- sacred, and he violated it!”

“Don’t be juvenile,” Itachi replies, bored.

“Inquiry!”

Deidara recovers enough to grab a spatula, and advances on the cockroach in Itachi’s palm, looking positively manic.

“Shut up!” roars Kisame, and all activity within the Akatsuki kitchen falls to a standstill. “Itachi,” he says, returning to his normal, moderate tone. “Explain your reasoning, if you will.”

“It is elementary, really, Kisame. My recreational studies have concluded that in the event of nuclear warfare, these insects will be the only objects that will survive and remain healthy. Therefore,” he concludes, eyes glinting triumphantly. “The cockroach trumps all.”

A few moments of utter silence greets this declaration. “Now, now, Deidara-senpai,” Tobi reassures gently, while attempting to wrest the spatula from Deidara’s grip. “Violence is never the answer…”

A statement of this caliber shocks Deidara into relinquishing his weapon. “You’re in Akatsuki, un,” he replies blankly, staring at his partner. “Violence is supposed to be the answer.”

“Elementary, my ---!” Hidan retorts, before turning again to Kisame. “The Uchiha loses.”

“Actually,” Kisame scratches his head sheepishly. “In accordance with the terms of an official inquiry, he justified his answer in a fully sane and rational manner, without using any violence or hurtful language. Therefore, Hidan, the task falls to you.”

“----!” Hidan howls, and the rest of the kitchen winces as he storms out, while complaining at the top of his lungs about ‘damned partiality and bias’ all the way up the stairs.

Sore loser.

[Neko-]

From 'Ranma, the Second Time Around', by Kayemsi

Mousse pulled his glasses down and looked owlishly through them. “Where’d the Elder go?”

“She’s in bed, getting her beauty sleep,” Shampoo replied.

“Oh good, that means we shouldn’t see her for thirty or forty years,” Mousse mumbled.

"Anyway, when I saw you and the pig-tailed boy kissing in the park, I realized where I had seen him before. I ran into him a few days ago, and he lied to me," Kodachi continued. As she did so, she was smashed into the wall by a bonborri where she stuck in the impact crater she had made.

Kasumi sat back down, handed the bonborri back to Shampoo and dusted off her hands. "Thank you for the use of your weapon," she said politely, "Oh my, I guess I need to go check on Tofu." She stood up and ran toward the front gate. The other girls sat there in stunned silence.

[Zwzn]

http://www.angelfire.com/anime5/fanficlair/fics/millennium10.html

"Focus, ladies, FOCUS," Asuka said, patting down her dress. "This is NOT an innocent night on the town. Although our enemy does not know we're coming, I have absolutely no reason to expect that we'll find him without getting into a fight somehow. Saotome and Kino will be following the rest of us, and they will be ready for combat." She crossed her arms over her chest as she made eye contact with Makoto. "That means keep your tongue out of his mouth until AFTER the mission is over."

Makoto frowned at the police captain. "So, what, now we take orders from you?"

Asuka raised an eyebrow at the taller girl. "That's a valid point. Tsukino!"

Usagi squeaked awkwardly and straightened. "Wh-What?"

"These people answer to you, right?" Asuka demanded, jabbing a thumb behind her at Makoto.

At Usagi's hesitant nod, Asuka pointed at her. "Despite being YOUR superior, as the rest of the Senshi aren't police officers, I have no authority over them. Thus, it will be YOUR responsibility to keep track of these girls, manage communication if we get separated, and direct their movements strategically. Got it?"

Usagi's face darkened. "What? Me? Why do I have to do all that?"

"Well, you ARE their leader," Asuka deadpanned, "that's a leader's job. What did you do before?"

"I mostly gave long speeches, finished off enemies when they were weak, and brought everyone else back to life after they all died," Usagi said honestly, scratching the side of her head.

The other Sailors winced. "Well, I guess I'll do what you say just for tonight," Makoto mumbled with a sweatdrop rolling down her head. Sure, she really did appreciate being resurrected, but would have much preferred to avoid death in the first place. Asuka seemed to be painfully hard-nosed and bossy, but she definitely had a better grasp of strategy than Usagi could have hoped for.