FPCF - 12

[Wyrd]

It was in good humor, as noted by the emoticon.

You can never quite trust an emoticon. Them's tricksy little devils, they are.

[Spokavriel]

So you think their hiding something?

[Konsaki]

“Okay”, Ranma started as he pushed opened the door to the shrine his grandfather ran, “we’ve got a place to live and your dad is going to have your stuff delivered tomorrow afternoon.”

“And Mother Nodoka is going to send a bed for us”, Akane added, leaving unsaid that the bed in her old room was way too small for the both of them. The thought of both of them sharing the bed did leave a slight flush on her cheeks.

“Sounds like you two are doing well, then”, a wizened voice spoke out from a little up the stairs, gaining their attention.

“Heya, Gramps”, Ranma called up with a jaunty wave and a wide grin, “We found a place today!”

Jushiro just smiled as he leaned lightly on the broom he had just been using, “So I heard.” Shifting his grip on the wooden handle, he asked, “I assume you will want to move in to your new place sooner than later.”

“Not that we don’t appreciate your hospitality, Grandfather“, Akane eased, “but we really need to move into a place of our own.”

“It’s been a long time in coming”, the black haired martial artist added with a grin.

The elderly man just nodded and smiled knowingly, “Of course, there’s no offense taken.” Sighing, he looked skyward as he mused out, “I remember my own early years and how we anticipated our first nights in our own house.” He kindly pretended to ignore the red cheeks on both young adults before him as he straightened up to stretch out his back as he looked towards the darkening sky. “It’s getting late, though, and dinner won’t prepare itself”, Jushiro finished as he moved up the steps to pick up a water bucket he had been using to help clean the stairs.

Climbing up behind the elderly Hino while her husband matched pace, Akane offered, “We can handle dinner, Grandfather.”

“Oh, there’s no need for that”, the old priest said with a smile as he looked back towards his granddaughter-in-law. “You two have had an eventful day.”

“We ain’t got anything better to do”, Ranma responded as they reached the main landing. “Besides, it’s gonna be the last dinner we have here in a while.”

Setting down his cleaning gear to the side of the entrance, Jushiro smiled back, “You better come and visit more than you have before this, though.”

“Of course we will, Grandfather”, Akane assured him as they moved inside and towards the kitchen.

oOo

Arms crossed over his chest, the elderly Hino priest’s face held a strong, stern visage as he looked across the small kitchen. The dead silence that had enveloped the kitchen was finally broken as he let out a long sigh. “I’m disappointed in you”, finally said, giving a slow soft shake to his head.

“Sorry about this, Grandfather”, Ranma softly responded, head lowered in shame while drops of water continued to drip of her bright red hair to the floor. She felt her wife put an arm around her shoulders but just stood there keeping her eyes downward behind her damp bangs.

“I know I haven’t been a part of your life before now”, Jushiro started up, moving over to a chair to sit down, “but I just can’t tell you how disappointed I am in you right now.”

Ranma just sniffed while bringing a hand to rub her eyes, “I understand… I just… I’ve tried so hard to find a cure, but nothin’ ever works…”

The bald priest just shook his head again, though holding different meaning this time, “No, you don’t understand, it seems.” Hearing that, Ranma raised her head up, eyes showing confusion. “I was surprised by your… curse”, he stated, locking eyes before looking sorrowfully towards his daughter’s progeny, “but what I’m disappointed about is the fact that you lied to me about it.” Shaking his head once more, he looked down at his wrinkled hands, “Do you think so little of me… think that I would reject you over something so… out of your control, like this?”

“I…”, she tried to reply, but her words seem to fail her. Dropping her head once more in shame, she repeated, “I’m sorry…”

Continuing to hug her currently female husband, Akane also bowed her head, “I’m sorry too, Grandfather, for not telling you the truth. It’s just… it’s caused us so many problems through high school and our relationship…”

“I just wanted to get a fresh start, but…”, the redhead cut in, in a low voice before sighing despondently, “but, I guess I screwed that up…”

“Ranma, look at me”, Jushiro commanded softly, causing both females to raise their gazes. “I don’t expect you to tell me everything as everyone is allowed their secrets”, he said, keeping his blue eyes locked into Ranma’s own blues, “but I’d rather you not lie to me again. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Grandpa…”

“Alright then”, the priest said with a nod, “Now, I think I deserve an explanation on this, if you don’t mind.” Leaning forward slightly in his seat, he asked, “First off, how does it work?”

“Cold liquid turns me into this”, Ranma recited via experience with a wave over her body, “and hot turns me back.”

Nodding at the simple statement, Jushiro just hummed thoughtfully before stating, “You know, you look a lot like your mother did at your age.”

“That’s what we told him the first time his mother came to visit”, Akane said with a small smile.

Ranma just laughed wryly once, “Yeah… that was an interesting day.”

“Hmm… at least she knows about it as well, then”, Jushiro noted with a nod. “Now, how exactly did it happen? Your adventure in China?”

“Yeah. Pop took me to a training ground full of cursed pools”, Ranma explained, “Drop in a pool and turn into whatever drowned there.” Shrugging, she said, “I fell into the girl one while Pop went into the pool of drowned panda.”

Blinking in mild surprise, the elder Hino, “So your father turns into a panda? That’s interesting.”

“Yeah”, Ranma agreed disinterestedly, “Anyways, I’m going to change back now…” Putting actions to words, she disengaged from her wife and turned on the hot water tap before splashing some into her face.

Jushiro observed the change with obvious interest, watching his grandson turn from a voluptuous redhead into his normal self. “Considering your… reluctance to tell us before, I’m going to assume you want to keep this from Rei still.”

“Pretty much”, the now black haired male confirmed.

“Alright”, the priest accepted with a nod, “I won’t bring it up but if she asks, I won’t lie to her.”

“That sounds reasonable”, Akane stated as she moved back to finishing up the curry on the stove. “Speaking of Rei, is she going to be eating with us?”

Rubbing his chin, Jushiro thought it over, “She’s out with her friends, but she very rarely carry on over dinner. If she does though, she usually calls to let me know.”

[Konsaki]

I know I had them cooking a meal before in the shrine, but I'm using my artistic license here to force the issue with only Grandpa there while leaving Rei out of the loop.

[Spokavriel]

I'd think after that he'd at least ask if Ranma and Akane would like to tell him any of their life they had to censor before to hide this. Still letting them keep their secrets but also inviting them to get rid of any other lies they might have had to make to keep this one.

[Konsaki]

It's an idea, but I want to leave it for later unless I imply that it happen in the background. Since most people who will read this know the back-story, I see no point in repeating it anymore than I have to as it just takes up space.

[Spokavriel]

Absolutely. This is something that should be done by characters off screen unless its say the Big reveal to the Senshi. But the invitation being done at least lets the readers know he's been told or not. Fewer lies after being admonished for making such a big one is a good thing.

[PCHeintz72]

“And Mother Nodoka is going to send a bed for us”, Akane added, leaving unsaid that the bed in her old room was way too small for the both of them. The thought of both of them sharing the bed did leave a slight flush on her cheeks.

I'm astounded no one thought to question the wisdom of 'Nodoka' getting them the bed...

Lord only knows what she might come up with.

[Spokavriel]

I'm actually expecting something that Ranma, Akane, and all his Mistresses can be on together. And won't be able to fit into the apartment

[Wyrd]

“Okay”, Ranma started as he pushed opened the door to the shrine his grandfather ran, “we’ve got a place to live and your dad is going to have your stuff delivered tomorrow afternoon.”

pushed open

Jushiro just smiled as he leaned lightly on the broom he had just been using, “So I heard.” Shifting his grip on the wooden handle, he asked, “I assume you will want to move in to your new place sooner than later.”

I would drop the first just. Using it twice in one sentence reads wrong to me.

The elderly man just nodded and smiled knowingly, “Of course, there’s no offense taken.” Sighing, he looked skyward as he mused out,

I would use mused aloud.

“Sorry about this, Grandfather”, Ranma softly responded, head lowered in shame while drops of water continued to drip of her bright red hair to the floor. She felt her wife put an arm around her shoulders but just stood there keeping her eyes downward behind her damp bangs.

'drip off of her' or just 'drip off her'

“Alright”, the priest accepted with a nod, “I won’t bring it up but if she asks, I won’t lie to her.”

up, but if she

Rubbing his chin, Jushiro thought it over, “She’s out with her friends, but she very rarely carry on over dinner. If she does though, she usually calls to let me know.”

The line 'very rarely carry on over dinner' reads as wrong to me, but I'm not certain how to fix it.

Typing one handed sucks...

Get your mind out of the gutter, I just pulled my shoulder a bit helping my parents move some furniture. it hurts to reach forwards to the keyboard now =(

[Spokavriel]

Do I even want to imagine what you are accusing people of that would involve the gutter? Its not like having a hand in use doing something else, or incapacitated, necessitates its being used in the area of a groin. Do you have any idea how often I've burnt a finger and couldn't comfortably type because of it?

[Wyrd]

Do I even want to imagine what you are accusing people of that would involve the gutter? Its not like having a hand in use doing something else, or incapacitated, necessitates its being used in the area of a groin. Do you have any idea how often I've burnt a finger and couldn't comfortably type because of it?

It's more a matter of patterns seen in posters on prior forums that leads me to preempt some comments. Besides, that seemed the funnier way to phrase it.

[Konsaki]

Changed the last bit to read like this:

Rubbing his chin, Jushiro thought it over, “She’s out with her friends, but she very rarely carry on over dinner. If she does though, she usually calls to let me know.” Moving back over to the counter to fill up a cup with tea, the grey browed man mused, “Now, considering how interesting your situation is, I assume you must have some good stories you shied away from…”

Smirking from where he picked up the slicing of vegetables, Ranma’s amused voice rolled out in response, “Well see… there’s this guy from China, goes by the name Herb…”

[Spokavriel]

Carry over on dinner is not a colloquialism I'm use to. Why not say Cuts into instead of Carry over on?

[Konsaki]

Words got lost in the editing... I'll fix it.