The Silicon Senshi - Chapter 3

[J. St.C. Patrick]

Only ten months this time since the previous chapter.

So as to refresh your memories here is a link to Chapter One and to Chapter Two

So without further ado, here is the third chapter of the Silicon Senshi:



Ichigeki Sacchu!! HoiHoi-san was created by Tanaka Kunihiko, pulbished in Japan by Media Works and in North America by Infinity Studios

Rumpole of the Bailey was created by John Mortimer and is published by Penguin Books

Ranma1/2 was created by Rumiko Takahashi, and is published in North America by VIZ Media

This is a work of fanfiction.

It has little or no resemblance to the way the law or law courts work in Japan or abroad.

The Silicon Senshi

Chapter 3 - Ramushubou and the Ice Queen

The year is 20XX. Insects have become immune to all pesticides. In order to kill them a Japanese company created the bug destroying robot HoiHoi-san. A rival company, quickly introduced Combat-san. In an effort to not let either Mars/Xentex-Mars or Kinryu, corner the market Furinkan-PharmEx introduced Ranko-San…

From the memoirs of Ramushubou Horitsu:

There were, alas, no bloodstains involved. There was not even a corpse, and though there were bodies they were not of the sort that are usually argued about in criminal court, save in cases brought by the Department of Health. Not like my first big trial – the Maison Penji Murders where the blood told all, however they can’t all be splashy show pieces. Alas.

Before me in my dingy law office on the shady side of the Ginza, in my world-weary green leather chair sat the middle daughter of the infamous Nerima Tendo clan.

The Tendos are long time clients of mine who I have successfully defended against multiple accusations of minor violations, mostly of the bodily injury and property damages kind.

The father, Soun, a widower, is an upstanding fellow, a well respected member of the ward council, a man of independent wealth, though he and his three daughters live modestly. He runs a family dojo in what he is pleased to call the “Anything Goes” style, and does a sideline in demon hunting. Since his wife’s death he does have a tendency to cry a bit much – and at times in a most fascinating and prodigious manner – fascinating in that despite the quantity of liquid his moustache never gets wet. There are rumors of shady dealings and connections to a well known and hard to catch panty thief, but as yet nothing has been proven. Especially with Ramushubou for the defense.

The eldest of the Tendo girls is the unassuming Kasumi. At 19 she maintains the household in the absence of her mother and is a fine example of traditional Japanese womanhood. There are rumors, too, about her concerning the disappearance of her long time beau, but as there were no blood stains and no body and I proved her innocence, they can be dispelled.

The youngest girl, 16 year old Akane, has been defended by me plenty of times, mostly on charges of assault causing bodily harm, all of which were dismissed as self defense. I never allow my clients to plead guilty. She is a very healthy girl, well versed in the martial arts, if not the marital arts. Her culinary skills leave much to be desired. The incident of poisoning was proved to be accidental. The boy survived and upon recovering was reprimanded for stealing the so called cookies in the first place.

Before I get to the matter concerning the confident girl sitting before me, I should also take a few moments to mention the Saotome family, well known colleagues of the Tendo clan, who also figure in this tale.

Genma Saotome, the head of his clan, is an itinerant martial artist, last employed by Dr. Tofu Ono, the missing boyfriend of Kasumi. He also assists Soun in his demon hunting. His major accomplishment, as he describes it, is raising his son to be a “man among men” and the best martial artist of his generation. He has a list of grievances against him as long as the Shinano River. Mostly petty, and unprovable. It is rather hard to prove someone has stolen food when there is no food to be seen and he has not been caught on camera. However, he has a tendency to fob off his alleged problems on to his son – training, as he puts it.

Nodoka Saotome married Genma, in what many describe as an absence of mind, and there are those who say it has been on an extended leave ever since. Always impeccable in her kimono, she too is a fine example of traditional Japanese womanhood. There was, of course the matter of her carrying a concealed weapon, to wit the Saotome family katana. However I proved conclusively that, given her demonstrable lack of ability with the sword, it was much safer for society as whole that it remain concealed.

Their son, Ranma is somewhat as Genma boasts. He is indeed the best martial artist, if not of this or any other generation, then at the very least the best that I’ve ever defended – and I’ve defended a great number during my time at the bar. Rando Masashi, who, alas, died in a tragic bus crash, and that woman among women, Megumi Amatsuka, possessed of both great beauty and great anger, are but two who come to mind.

Ranma is by turns both social and unschooled in the social arts, especially in the area of interpersonal affairs. He has been allegedly affianced by his father to several girls, Akane Tendo among them; some for food others, like Miss Tendo, for more tangible assets, though only the Tendo alliance is confirmed. He is very reserved and rarely offers information about himself. It must be drawn out. His memory, too, oft seems reluctant to impart information even to him.

Finally there is also the mysterious female personage who is truly at the heart of the matter. Known variously as Ranma Saotome, Ranko Saotome, Ranko Tendo, Pigtailed Goddess, Tree Borne Kettle Girl, she is also at the center of the case against Ms Tendo. While she is indeed a real person, she appears and disappears with some regularity and makes a point of never being seen with the male Ranma. And she is a master of disguise, and no one I’ve questioned is sure where she gets or stores her seemingly vast wardrobe of clothing and wigs. All of which, I surmise is to give her an aura of magic.

My gentle reader should not take it that Ranko (as I will call her for convenience and clarity) did anything wrong, rather the case is that Nabiki did something wrong to Ranko and her own sister Akane.

The case of wrong doing against Ranko might be easily dismissed on the fact that officially she does not exist. Ranko Tendo is not entered on, nor has she been erased from the rolls of the Tendo family. Ranma Saotome is most definitely and defiantly male and there is no other Ranma Saotome to be found, either male or female of the right age, on the extended Saotome family roster. Tree Bourne Kettle Girl is not a proper name, save, I am told, in parts of west coast America, the northern shires of England and certain towns of Sweden.

And while her vibrant hair color certainly suggests that she might be of foreign origin, her facial features mark her as being of the distaff side of the Saotome family as she resembles Nodoka uncannily. A simple blood test would remove all doubt. But as yet it has not proved necessary.

Now I said the case might be dismissed given her legal non-existence. Alas, there are too many photographs and items with the photographs printed on them of her to say that she is a mere phantom gravure idol. Alas, too, for my current client as most of these photographs are alleged to have originated from her own camera.

The crux of the case is that my client sold the identities of her sister and Ranko to the Furinkan-Pharmex company, makers of the Ranko-San and Akane-San insecticidal robots, without the permission or knowledge of the two girls.

Akane-San is a most remarkable reproduction of the features of the youngest Tendo. And the Ranko-San is just as much an exact duplication in plastic of the pigtailed goddess, to use one of her many aliases.

Even more so the programming of the robots’ manners, speech patterns and movements owe much to Akane and the mysterious Ranko. The replication is so well done that it seems that were it possible one would guess that somehow, however improbable, Furinkan-Pharmex had made exact copies of Ranko and Akane’s very souls.

While one, especially a gaijin, would expect that the case against Nabiki was being brought by Akane and Ranko, they would be wrong. Family suing family is simply not done. No, the case is being prosecuted by that ambulance chasing freelance who goes by the nom-de-plume, Ja Kuse, in part on their behalf he says as they have been smothered by outdated tradition and habit… Bah.

Truth be told, he rarely (if ever) works pro-bono and in fact has been hired by one Tatewaki Kuno, scion of the House of Kuno, son of Kouchou & Yukuefumeiko, brother of Kodachi, he is also known as the “Blue Thunder of Furinkan”, and is head of the Furinkan high school Kendo club. This young Kuno is bringing the action he says, “to render unto Akane and the pigtailed girl that which they have been so foully cheated of and so righteously and richly deserve. Also to free them from the vile machinations of the foul Saotome so that they may express their deep and heartfelt love for me.” Kuse has so far managed to keep the last from the public record.

Now, as to the girl with the pageboy hairstyle sitting in the time-worn chair: Nabiki Tendo. In her time she has been said to have run books on fights at school, spent millions in the pursuit of a mere ten yen, to have sold her would be brother-in-law to a brothel in Hong Kong, and above all else to be a self-centered entrepreneur. I have demonstrated many times that she is a misunderstood girl who has done such things for the benefit of her family, to keep the household running, to improve relations with China and that her “Ice Queen” persona is a mere façade, hiding the poor child who has not yet overcome her mother’s premature death. That she may indeed have done the things she was accused of is beside the point. Ramushubou has proven she is as pure as the new fallen snow.

“Well, Nabiki, my dear, what have you been doing to warrant time in that chair? According to this,” I pointed to the papers on my desk, “you have been making Faustian deals selling other people’s souls to the devils of modern science. In particular, your sister Akane’s and young Miss Ranko’s. Selling souls is something best handled by priests and exorcists Identity theft is another matter altogether. Be grateful that this is being pursued as a civil matter and not a criminal case. The police would have you confessing to all manner of crimes against humanity in no time.

Now, you realize ink is about as hard to wash away as blood and your signature is on the contract with Furinkan-Pharmex. What a pretty mess you’ve landed upon my plate.”

“Well, Rambo-baby,” she began and I rolled my eyes at her familiarity. “At least it’s not one of Akane’s culinary creations.” She finished in her normal unconcerned tone.

“Hehrumph” I laughed. “I doubt, however, that you can plea bargain your way out with more pictures of Ranko or Akane. I understand they were none too pleased when they found out about their miniature doppelgangers.” I said placing a pair of the pair in question on my desk.

“I am sure that you merely overlooked obtaining their permission prior to embarking on this project, and that you fully intend to disperse the profits obtained equally among the three of you with a share no doubt set aside for the up-keep of the family home.”

She looked at me through half lidded eyes. “But of course.”

“Good! Bring the pair of them in here, with their hanko, if they have one, to sign this,” I slid a prepared document over for her to look over “I will have it witnessed by my secretary as I realize that finding a responsible adult in Nerima may be difficult. And that should take some if not all of the wind out of Kuse’ sails.”

Nabiki gazed at the paper for a minute, then nodding approvingly she handed the paper back.

“Tomorrow at 5:30?” she asked as she stood to go.

I checked my schedule, “Yes. That will do fine. Until then Ms Tendo”

“Ta Ta, Rambo”

With that she was out of the office and moments later out on the street. And I was thinking of popping around to Ringo Kajuen’s sake bar for a round of courage in preparation for the next day’s visit.

0I0I0I0

I was just outside my office, returning from a quick afternoon snack when I spotted, as the poem by the Heian Period Poet, Kagura describes:


“Silver clasp
On his sword
Slung proudly at his thigh,
As he swaggers down
The broad walk of Nara;
Who might he be?”


Well, he might be the aquarium fish deliveryman, or some foreign prince seeking his bride, but he was neither, nor was this Nara. The ‘he’ in question here was in fact young Tatewaki Kuno, clad in his kendo garb, bokken in hand, searching for the “foul Saotome”, meaning Ranma, and his pigtailed goddess meaning the fairer Ranma Saotome, who was due to arrive with the Tendo sisters. And the ‘here’ was outside my office on the shady side of the Ginza. And I was praying to whatever kami there was nearby who might divert him to do so.


“Ah, Mister Ramushubou,” he began as if he were respectfully addressing something unpleasant he had just found on the bottom of his shoe. “You are just the man I am looking for.”


Oh dear, there’s never a kami around when you need one.


“Ah, Mister Kuno. And how might I be of service to you on this fine day? Desiring to contest your parentage again?”


“What? No. No, no, not today. I have other plans for that cretin who claims to be my father, but those are for another day. Yes, another day….


No, today I am present to see justice done for my pigtailed goddess and the fair Akane Tendo. And to see that that foul fiend Saotome does not interfere.”


My pleas to the kami notwithstanding, I was expecting him. After all, last night over our usual sake at Ringo’s I had informed his lawyer, Kuse, that we were settling the matter as usual beyond the precinct of the District Court. He declared that he would attend to see Justice! done. Indeed he did say justice with the capital letter and exclamation mark. So Kuse himself was due here shortly to witness the signing, coming directly from his office just across the street.

“Very well, Mister Kuno, but you remember the rules as laid down after the cookie incident? You will surrender your bokken to my secretary who will return it as you leave. You are not to make any comments nor plead your case to woo any of the three ladies who will be in attendance. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Yes. I shall be circumspect and as quiet as a mouse.” Replied the scion of the house of Kuno.

“Very good. But you must leave your ninja outside.”

“Oh, very well. Sasuke! Sasuke!”

The rodent-faced retainer appeared at his side “Yes, Master Kuno?”

“You will remain out here and let me know immediately if you see that sorcerer Saotome darken the doorway.” And with that, the young Kuno entered my building.

Next to come on the scene was my colleague and adversary, Ja Kuse. Resplendent in a finely tailored white suit, he showed a most curious way of crossing the street. He stood on the edge of the sidewalk and pointed dramatically at an oncoming car, which stopped as much in surprise as fear of the driver having been accused of some major crime. He repeated this action several times, staring down each car in turn before jauntily crossing the street.

“Ramushubou.”

“Kuse.”

“Here?”

“Yours.”

“Yours?”

“Not yet”

“Inside?”

“Please, but stay away from Ms Hishoko. I’ve just managed to train her to make the tea the way I like it. I don’t want to have to break in a new secretary. Again.”

And in he went.

Without acknowledging my request, the swine.

I followed him in.

OIOIOIOIO

We sat in silence, contemplating our tea, while seated around the age-darkened oak table in the boardroom as the hands of the old wall clock seemed to ever so slowly fall to the bottom of the hour.

As is its wont, my subconscious mind likes to recite random poetry to fill the void of inaction. On this day it rooted around the attic of my memories and began to broadcast the following to my waking mind intent on excluding any other thought.

At sundown the little birds
Rustle in the bushes
But I – I nestle in the breasts
Of a girl who plants the rice


I suspect however that the rice planting maid who was expected would object, both vociferously and physically.

Meanwhile, in the boardroom there was no sound at all but the clock upon the wall.
Then the door burst open wide and Ms. Hishoko stepped inside.

I made a note to instruct her on the proper way to open a door.

“Misses Tendo and Saotome are here to see you”

I nodded to her “Please show them in.”

We three gentlemen stood to greet the ladies.

Akane’s and Ranko’s eyes widened when they saw the young Mr. Kuno standing by the table.

“What’s he doing here?” they chorused.

“I… “Tatewaki began before Kuse slapped a restraining order over his mouth.

“We,” explained Kuse, while raising his right arm and pointing to the ceiling, “are here to be witnesses for Justice!”

Kuno struggled briefly with the paper that read “Quiet” before glaring at Kuse, then longingly at Akane and Ranko.

“Indeed” I said. “Ladies, please be seated and we shall get to the signing ceremony.

“Do you have your hanko?” I enquired of the ladies, to which they nodded and produced them, placing them on the table. I shook my head, this would never do.

A quick glance showed that both Nabiki and Akane had their bank hanko, while Ranko had a homemade artist’s hanko. While they are useful in their own way they cannot be used on an official document, which requires an officially registered hanko.

“Ms. Hishoko, please bring in the brushes and ink.”

A moment later Ms Hishoko was grinding away beside the table, preparing the ink for the signing.

A brush was handed to Nabiki who neatly signed her name in the appointed place. Then she passed the brush to Akane who signed her name.

Ranko looked a little hesitant and as she dipped the brush in the ink and raised it to the paper and then with a flourish signed her name in blotchy but passable kana.

At that moment Kuse stood raised his hand to the ceiling and pulled on a rope that I would have sworn was not there the moment before, which opened a ball containing confetti, then exclaimed, “Justice has been served!”

Not to be out done Kuno finally freed himself of the restraining order, shouting with great enthusiasm, “Three Cheers and a Tiger for you! Hip! Hip! Hurroar!”

Even now as I examine the bills for the restoration of my office, I am still stunned by the devastation. I would like to be able to offer an explanation or even a description to you, my dear reader, but words fail me. Where did he get the tigers, when did he get the tigers, how did he hide the tigers, and why dear kami, why did he release them in a crowded room?

To say pandemonium ensued would be an understatement of several magnitudes.

My poor oak table will never be the same.

The tigers will never be the same.

Kuse’s finely tailored white suit will never be the same.


Ms Hishoko’s tea has not been the same and for this grievous crime I do swear that Kuno shall be prosecuted and found guilty.

Especially with Ramushubou for the prosecution!

End Chapter 3


My thanks to Sunshine for prereading this.

[Dumbledork]

I hate lawyers. Unfortunately I have to deal with them every day.

[gsteemso]

Wonderful stuff! Laughed very hard at this.

Minor typo, you have Ja Kuse wearing a white _suite_ rather than a white suit. Did he borrow it from a hospital, and isn’t carrying a chunk of building around rather heavy? :¬)

[J. St.C. Patrick]

I hate lawyers. Unfortunately I have to deal with them every day.

I'm sorry to hear that, you have my sympathies.

Wonderful stuff! Laughed very hard at this.

Minor typo, you have Ja Kuse wearing a white _suite_ rather than a white suit. Did he borrow it from a hospital, and isn’t carrying a chunk of building around rather heavy? :¬)

Glad you enjoyed it.

Fixed the typo, thanks.

He got it from a grateful Doctor. As for it being heavy, he's the great Ja Kuse! ( What's more, he's got a jacuzzi for easing aching muscles)

On the other hand maybe he's mutating like Ralph Richardson in The Bed Sitting Room

[Spokavriel]

Nothing about Cologne. I'm guessing that Ranma and Akane still don't know about the automatons using techniques much less Secret ones. No word on the ones that went to Nekomi And agonizingly little to ensure that any events are before or after ones given in the other chapters.

Sure this one legal matter is dealt with. But why do I get the feeling Nabiki just lost her Lawyer because of Neko-Ken in the office? Oh sure Kuno is the one at fault and is being targeted by the guy now but will he trust having Miss Saotome around after that?

Is Rei going to do any more fire readings to find out more about the girls those insecticide robots were modeled after?

While this was cute the timing just doesn't work for me when I read it back to back with the other chapters. Just how many more downloads until those units out in the field have everything except Ranma and Akane's memories already installed?

[DCG]

Great to see more of this JC. Im starting to wounder whats going to happen when Ranma meets her chibi copys.

[J. St.C. Patrick]

Sorry for the long long delay in responding - I've been quite busy this summer.

Thanks for the comments Spokavriel and DCG.

Nothing about Cologne. I'm guessing that Ranma and Akane still don't know about the automatons using techniques much less Secret ones.

That will be in a future chapter - I'm at the moment trying to figure it out.

No word on the ones that went to Nekomi

Not yet. Actually the Nekomi chapter was supposed to be ch3 and this one ch4 but it wasn't working and this one was.

And agonizingly little to ensure that any events are before or after ones given in the other chapters.

Although there’s not much to go on this does have to take place after the off stage confrontation with Nabiki by Ranma & Akane in Chapter 1.
“You had the amateur robotics club program our behavior into WHAT!?”

Also had this comment from Sunshine:

Sunshine>[though may be nice to have the next chapter focus more on Ranma and Akane.

JSTC:>Good thought though I'll have to figure out an angle for that.

[Sunshine:[Just thinking that this gives a good way for it to go back to those two.
[Sunshine:[since you do have a common thread tying events.

[Sunshine:[sort of like Slacker

JSTCP: hmm?

[Sunshine: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102943/
[Sunshine: [1991 movie. No central plot but what it does is go from one group of people to the next.
[Sunshine: [Lots of very strange chracters but the POV pops from one to the next to the next and so on

Sure this one legal matter is dealt with. But why do I get the feeling Nabiki just lost her Lawyer because of Neko-Ken in the office? Oh sure Kuno is the one at fault and is being targeted by the guy now but will he trust having Miss Saotome around after that?

Actually, given that it is suggested that he has dealt with Tatewaki before, I think Ramushubou is a glutton for punishment.
He seems to be able to rationalize everything else, why not the Neko-ken?, provided Ranma actually went into it.

Is Rei going to do any more fire readings to find out more about the girls those insecticide robots were modeled after?

Good question. I’m not sure at this point. That may be Ch5.

While this was cute the timing just doesn't work for me when I read it back to back with the other chapters. Just how many more downloads until those units out in the field have everything except Ranma and Akane's memories already installed?

Actually that’s part of my thinking for the Oh My Goddess cross.

Great to see more of this JC. Im starting to wounder whats going to happen when Ranma meets her chibi copys.

that might be chapter 4. and it would take the story back as step too. as she already knows about them but has not yet been shown with them..

[Spokavriel]

So um is this going to get a posting outside of threads?

[J. St.C. Patrick]

Indeed, yes.

Chapter 1 is now posted at Fanfiction.net

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6302156/1/The_Silicon_Senshi

[Spokavriel]

So will this next bit you want to go back a bit for involving discovering about the dolls get worked in and added to the start of Chapter 2 for going over to Fanfiction.net?