Generic Fantasy - Chapter 1

[LawOhki]

Sniff...you're right. My attempt at humor in that situation before they knew what was going on is so wrong. Something like that never happened in the series and Ranma NEVER made fun of others cursed forms. I mean how could I forget this scene from the manga in the image attached below? I found it somewhere and though it seems off I'm sure its genuine:

It's not supposed to be funny. Ranma is rather terrified about what might happen and isn't going to make light of it by just making a joke. He's trying to be... positive but mostly it's just trying to talk to his father.

[frice2000]

Then you need to rewrite that a bit. One pause and it becomes comedic especially considering the two follow up lines. If you want it to be serious you need to describe their emotional states better. That does not come across to me at all. It's like in a 'death' or sickness scene where both characters are pretty sure no one is dying and one asks for something stupid that the 'dying' character owns followed by mild guffaws.

[Spokavriel]

How is it comedic? I thought the pauses were because it was difficult.

Edit: Wow they altered that allot. Wasn't that this page?

RM02-146.jpg (79.47 KiB) Viewed 6257 times

Ranma was clearly frightened because of what happened to the guys who are now sheep. And I think Genma clearly not able to put any confidence and it seeming clear to both that its a front he's putting on made it obvious they are more waiting for the shoe to drop than trying to laugh past the graveyard.

[frice2000]

Ok let's take a close look at the lines then.

“I just want to tell you Pop.” Ranma grabbed a small stick and poked at the embers of the fire. “If you turn into a farm animal, I’ll make sure you don’t end up dinner.”

Now I can read that as Ranma seriously saying that and being very concerned but then the next two bits of interaction:

“Oh shut up.” Genma answered irritably.

Shut up? Because of you and your stupid smash and grab ideas I just ended up freeing some God who casually turned a bunch of guys into sheep.” He explained, slightly hysterical from what he just witnessed.

Now on the face of that serious yes. However, you're telling me you can't read that scene and see Ranma putting on a serious face and saying "If you turn into a farm animal...I’ll make sure you don’t end up..lambchops .” before smirking? Of course he can still be scared but don't tell me that isn't in character. You want me to read that seriously and fearfully and I can't because i don't see him being that petrified. Internally yes, but externally he'd put up a front. Ranmas first reaction to getting cursed in cannon screaming in fear and then running at his pandafied father? Anger supplanting possible horror and ramifications of a serious situation seem to be a common self defense measure for him...And again with a title that this is thus far under how can I not expect a comedy spoof of the fantasy genre? Especially after the appearance of the god in the previous scene? Taking a serious look at all interactions seems wrong. So yes, I self inserted comedy where it wasn't clearly there but I don't think it's too much of a stretch and thus I don't think it's too much of a stretch for other readers. I feel that better fits what Ranma is anyway.

And yeah I edited a lot in that image. You take him as being too all serious in that interaction. If he was that serious about his vow he'd repeat it to Ryouga later and never do the whole call him P-Chan thing in my opinion.

[Spokavriel]

He's already going as far as he would by stirring a cooking fire while making the declaration. What you are suggesting is more like ... I can't even describe it right now it just feels wrong it feels like only an extreme some asshole who doesn't really give a shit and has no care for himself or the other would go to.

[frice2000]

I can see Ranma acting that way in regards to Genma though. Others not so much. But him and his father seem to have a very mocking and taunting relationship. I doubt he'd say that to someone else but his father who has probably told him to man up in a similar manner after other events I can see that easily happening with. Doesn't mean he can't make the joke and be serious a second later though as he does care deeply for his father.

Anyway forget it. It's just one line and thought it was a nice opportunity for humor. You both disagree and I understand why.

[Spokavriel]

I kinda missed the bit about the image earlier, distractions from trying to multitask. I think the only reason Ranma didn't repeat the same thing to Ryouga is because after the shock of him being the pig was sorted out Genma showed up before Ranma could get beyond trying to figure out the blame and was under attack for being part of the ones to blame.

Outside of a fight Ranma is frequently slow like that. But I do honestly believe if the chance had been there for Ranma to repeat the promise to the Pig-boy before Ryouga was already trying to sleep in the Restless/active sleeper Akane's Bed. He would have.

[LawOhki]

Opening her eyes, Ranma sighed, staring across the bath to the trees on the other side. She had forgotten how nice hot water felt and how unnatural this form felt. Even after a month and a half spent in it, she had gotten used to the gender change, tail, and horns. But the hooves and wings were another story entirely. Her real body was not good with magic, in this one she could almost use it but lacked any training. The only thing she had ever done externally with it was blast her father with a magical explosion. Physically she could use it to morph her body slightly altering the size of her wings from a medium size, a large size capable of flying, and a small nearly unnoticeable size that made them look like hands sticking out from her back. Currently they were the small size for lounging purposes.

Spinning the tip of her tail under the surface of the water, she made little circles, and sighed again. Exploring magic would be infinitely interesting except she would have to do it like this. A form that was distrusted and often outright hated wherever she went. Half the reason it had taken so long for them to find out about Jusenkyo was that no one wanted to talk to some strange black and white bear who communicated with signs or the tiefling.

She had thought their next mission would be to find a way to make Jusenkyo permanent but her father have this idea, which for the life of her she couldn’t figure out. Nabiki and Akane were attractive but this was so sudden and she really needed to get to know them, and for them to get to know her. Of course this body would cause a lot of problems.

“Excuse me.” A soft feminine voice that she didn’t recognize called from the entryway. Ranma looked around worriedly, the bath wasn’t built for privacy, and the nearest cold water would expose her if the girl walked in. “Hello?” Seeing someone start to peak around the corner into the bath area, she hastily ducked underneath the water.

Fumbling with her hands to find a hand hold to hold her body underneath the water, finding one, she looked up through the surface to try and see if anyone was approaching the edge. Some dark figure did appear at the edge. Ranma’s ears picked up something being said but was unable to make out what. Realizing that the water was almost perfectly clear due to the cleaning enchantment, she also realized that the person could easily see that she was here.

Pushing herself away from the edge with the person on it, she broke the surface, and took a quick gasp of air. About to try and pacify the girl who had interrupted her bath, she stopped, and blinked several times. “You’re a--.” She started to say but figured it’d be stupid to spell it out.

The other tiefling bowed her head for a moment. She was wearing a simple and conservative green dress with a white apron tied around her waist. She was nearly as tall as Soun, with golden hair and matching golden orbs for eyes, and a pleasant smile on her face. On her forehead were four horns placed halfway up from her eyes to her hairline. The inner two were smaller, only about the size of an index finger and were pointed upwards with a slight angle outwards. The outer two horns were larger and had a more extreme curve with the points around to her temples. Wrapped halfway around her feet was a red reptilian tail with a small frill on the top near the tip.

“Uh-- hi.” Ranma greeted lamely. “I can-- um, explain.” She nervously scratched at the back of her head.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I felt your presence, and came as soon as I could. You didn’t happen to see a boy in here did you?” The girl looked side to side. “My sister said that a boy named Ranma was here taking a bath but only you’re here.”

“Heh heh.” Ranma laughed nervously, briefly considering trying to keep the curse a secret. “I’m Ranma.” She admitted, swimming over to the edge. “It’s a curse, hot water turns me into this.” That was the cover story they were using, nobody needed to know that they had pissed off a God now. “So does that mean you’re Kasumi?” The girl nodded and smoothly knelt down to kneel on the wooden platform next to the stone surrounding the pool.

“You-- sensed me?” Ranma asked.

“It was hard not to.” Kasumi giggled for a moment.

“What do you mean?”

“No one else here is as strong as you are passively.”

“I don’t know much about magic.” Ranma admitted. ‘If I did, I wouldn’t have this curse. Or if I wasn’t stupid enough to listen to my old man’ She thought darkly and hopped up to sit on one of the stones surrounding the pool.

“You’re um--.” Kasumi stuttered, a light blush adorning her cheeks.

“What?” Ranma cocked her head to one side.

“Not very modest.” The Tendo girl finally got out.

“I never really was before.” Ranma wouldn’t be running around completely naked as a guy in front of girls but she didn’t think there was any problem with a girl seeing her naked. Guys tended to stare and be a general pain in the ass.

“We-- should go back to the dining room, dinner will be getting cold.” Kasumi hastily stood up. “There’s plenty of time to talk later.”

“Right.” Ranma nodded and watched Kasumi head towards the entryway. Her eyes trailed down to Kasumi’s hips that had a little extra sway to them due to the heavy tail.

Getting her wandering eyes under control, she walked over to her pack and got out her flask to gather some of the warm water. Finding the spring that supplied water, she reverted back to male, and got dressed in some clothing that would be able to handle the change well when he explained things. A tunic that was missing the arms and had enough opening in the back that his wings at full size would be able to expand out of without issue, and a pair of pants that he had modified specifically for the tail shorty after being changed the first time.

[Spokavriel]

So is Kasumi not really related to the family? How did she end up one too?

[LawOhki]

So is Kasumi not really related to the family? How did she end up one too?

The thing that causes it can skip along generations. So yes she's an actual Tendo and there's some friction in the family because of it.

[Spokavriel]

I bet Ranma's form isn't going to help with that friction any. Will we ever find out what she was saying when Ranma couldn't hear?

[LawOhki]

I bet Ranma's form isn't going to help with that friction any. Will we ever find out what she was saying when Ranma couldn't hear?

Basically she was like "oh there you are."

[Spokavriel]

I guess what I meant was I wonder if we'll get Kasumi's perspective beyond her comments on it. Did she notice the guests when they arrived and did she sense anything about Ranma before the hot water, kind of thing.

[LawOhki]

I guess what I meant was I wonder if we'll get Kasumi's perspective beyond her comments on it. Did she notice the guests when they arrived and did she sense anything about Ranma before the hot water, kind of thing.

No she didn't sense Ranma before he arrived. It was the burst of energy from Jusenkyo and then Ranma-chan's passive presence that alerted her. I'll probably have something from her perspective if she ends up teaching Ranma what she knows about magic, where she talks about how big the difference seems to be in that area.

[LawOhki]

Everyone was waiting for him before they began dinner. Genma had a look on his face that showed he was just as surprised as Ranma that the eldest Tendo was a tiefling, which meant that the rest of the family was also planetouched but it did not manifest. It certainly helped explain why there were no students here. He didn’t miss the hopeful look on Kasumi’s face that died when she saw him.

Eating with the Tendos, Ranma ended up making small talk about where they had been, what they had done. Eventually this lead to what they had been doing recently which made bringing up the subject of their curses easy. Genma volunteered to say how it happened and Ranma didn’t stop him from weaving a simple if wholly inaccurate reason for them going to Jusenkyo. By the end of it, Ranma was not convinced by his father’s story, and the family who had heard it appeared to have the same opinion.

‘After all the years he’s spent lying, you’d think he’d be good at it.’ Ranma put his face in his hand. Genma’s explanation about the events at Jusenkyo were halting, he contradicted himself, and the whole story simply fell apart.

“What he’s talking about is this.” Ranma grabbed the flask and doused his father with some of the heat enchanted water. There was a brief moment where nothing happened and then sitting at the table was a black and white bear.

“Daddy there’s a bear at the table.” Nabiki commented dryly.

“Hrmm, the legendary training grounds of Jusenkyo-- it’s true horror has been shrouded in mystery.” Soun said sagely.

“So what do you change into?” Akane asked, changing the attention of everyone in the room to him. Upending the flask over his head, she rolled her shoulders, expanding out her wings to their medium size.

“This.” She answered, reaching behind to clip the small button in the back of her pants to hold her tail in place through her tail hole. Due to her changed feet she didn’t lose much height, but this body was definitely slimmer, and even though her hips were close to the same width, her pants had a nasty habit of slipping down without something to hold them up.

“Your big plan to hide Kasumi until he made a choice doesn’t really seem worth it.” Nabiki told her father sarcastically.

“Luckily it only happens with hot water.” Ranma quickly added, though she was kind of interested to see the family fight.

“Well your problem doesn’t seem too bad.” Soun appeared at her side and patted her on the back. “So are you ready to pick?”

“Oh he wants Kasumi.” Akane spoke up before he could answer.

“Definitely.” Nabiki added.

“But.” Kasumi protested weakly.

“Wait a second.” Ranma tried to complain as well.

“Isn’t it great Tendo? Our children to be wed?” Genma exclaimed.

“Fantastic Saotome!” Soun answered.

“Hold it!” Ranma hopped up to her feet with a soft clack on the wooden floor. “I can’t marry her!”

“Why not? Is there something wrong with my daughter?” Soun asked seriously.

“Yes, she’s a tiefling!” Ranma answered without thinking and the conversation stopped abruptly. Her eyes darted to Kasumi who had her mouth open in shock before shutting it and bowing her head.

“Ex-- excuse me.” Kasumi quickly gathered up several nearby dishes and utensils, and hastily left the room.

“But--.” Ranma looked to her father briefly for support and found none. The other two Tendo sisters were looking at her like she was lower than dirt, and Soun as well. “He was keeping her hidden.” Ranma pointed towards Soun, remember Nabiki’s earlier comment. Finding that this didn’t change anything, she trotted off after Kasumi to go apologize.

Assuming that the eldest Tendo sister had gone to the kitchen, she went to where she remembered it being, and was rewarded with finding the tiefling standing over a wash basin with her back to Ranma while her hands worked to clean something. Bumping her wings on the doorway as she walked in, Ranma shrunk them down, and stopped a respectable distance away from the girl.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Ranma started.

Kasumi grabbed a nearby towel and dried her hands off before turning to her. “There’s no reason to apologize. I am what I am.” The tiefling smiled vacantly. “I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Stop being so nice.” Ranma snorted angrily. “You look more human than I do like this. I shouldn’t be saying stuff like that.”

“It’s alright, really.” Kasumi turned and started to use a small hand pump to put more water in the basin.

The small wings on Ranma’s back twitched agitatedly at being rebuked while trying to apologize for being an ass. “I’m sorry.” She said simply and didn’t wait for an answer before leaving the kitchen, immediately bumping into Genma.

“Boy.” Genma started to say something but stopped at her look.

“Just shut up old man.” She growled.

“I-- was going to show you where our room is.” Her father said quickly.

“Alright.” Her head bobbed forward several times.