Chapter 3 of Destiny Anew

[steveoirish]

Nodoka had woken up early the next morning as was her ritual. Placing on her robe and heading towards the kitchen she stopped at her little Ranma’s room to peek in. Seeing him sleeping there made her heart swell and tears glisten in her eyes. With a heart warming smile Nodoka turned to continue downstairs and into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Her thoughts continued to be occupied by her little boy which in turn led to the talk with Setsuna-san the night before. Learning what her husband had been up too and what he had done to her son made her blood boil and want to skin the man. A small noise brought her out of her thoughts and she turned to see her child in the doorway.


Ranma slowly opened his eyes then quickly closed them from the bright light flooding in from the windows. Slowly sitting up with a yawn he stretched his arms over his head. Looking around the room he is in he blinks a few times and gets out of the bed to investigate the room. ‘Hmm, wonder where I am?’

Moving over to the door, he slowly opens it and peeks out to see an empty hallway. Walking out and heading to the stairs he saw at the end of the hallway he hears a voice singing. He continues towards the angelic voice that reminds him of something ‘no not something’ he thinks ‘someone’ “Okâ-san” lost in thought and not realizing he had said this out loud he was surprised when he was scooped up into a tight hug.

“Oh my little boy, I still can’t believe your home!” Squeezing the chibi tight Nodoka began to break down again as she held her child. “I missed you so much!”

Shaking his head to clear it Ranma returned the embrace with equal enthusiasm while yelling out “OKÂ-SAN!”

“Okâ-san you’re real, you’re real, it wasn’t a dream, not a dream.” Rambled Ranma as he slowly pulled away to look at his okâ-san. His bright ocean blue eyes glistening with tears locked with her golden brown eyes as tears streaked both of their cheeks

“I missed you Okâ-san”

“I missed you also Ranma-chan” was the whispered reply as Nodoka reached up to run her hand through his hair just as she did when he was a baby seeking comfort in the touch as much as Ranma was in receiving it.

“Come on Ranma-chan breakfast is just about done.”

Placing Ranma down Nodoka lead him into the kitchen to eat breakfast and decide what to do for the rest of the day.


Usagi was walking to her favorite place, the park. Beside her was her mother holding her little brother.

“Okâ-chan can I play in the sandbox today?” question chibi-Usagi when they had arrived at the park.

“Of course Usa-chan.” Her mother answered while she tried to juggle the hyper 2yr old and his diaper bag. “YATTA!” squealed the little girl as she ran off. Ikuko sighed to her self as she watched her daughter run off towards the sandbox in view. Shaking her head and smiling to her self Ikuko headed towards a bench that had a view of the sandbox.


Nodoka was quietly reading her manga, the latest volume of Rurouni Kenshin. She loved the action and romance of the story but also the comedy. In the last volume she was crying at the end when Kenshin left Kaoru to become a rurouni once again. She looked up to see her son Ranma playing in the sandbox. She smiled and couldn’t help but feel ecstatic that her baby boy was home. She had decided to go to the park so Ranma could meet children his own age and make some friends.

“Excuse me?”

Brought out of her thoughts Nodoka turned to the person standing next to the bench. “May I help you?” asked Nodoka as she placed her manga down and looking up to see a woman her age with dark blue hair and blue eyes dresses in a white blouse and faded blue jeans, a small boy with brown hair and brown eyes dressed in a red t-shirt and blue jean coveralls resting on her hip.

“Is it alright if I sit down?” the woman asked indicating the seat next to Nodoka.

“Yes, yes please do, I could always do with a little company.” Placing the bag down next to the bench and sitting down while placing her small child in her lap the woman turned to Nodoka with a small smile.

“Thanks, my name is Tsukino Ikuko and this little one is my son Shingo.” Ikuko said while ruffling her youngest child’s hair.

“My name is Saotome Nodoka.” Nodoka replied with a smile.


Usagi was running towards her favorite sandbox when she stopped when she saw a boy about her age standing by a tree watching the other kids play. The boy had black hair tied back in a pig-tail that fell below his shoulders and ocean blue eyes. He was dressed in a red t-shirt and black shorts with black sandals on. Usagi blushed as she looked at him, he was a rather cute boy.

‘I wonder if he would like to be friends?’ thought Usagi
Seeing that the boy was making no move to join in and seem sad Usagi made up her mind and decided to go cheer him up. Walking up to him she watched as he bowed his head.


Ranma was watching the children play as he stood next to a tree hesitating to go and join them. He wanted to go and play but he had never ‘played’ with kids his own age before. Sure he had sparred with Uc-chan but that was just it. They never played together like the other kids. Ranma closed his eyes, dropped his head and sighed deciding to go practice opening his ocean blue eyes he meet two crystal blue eyes.

“AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!” screamed Ranma as he tumbled and fell on his back. Breathing hard and holding his cheat as his heart thundered Ranma heard giggling come from in front of him. Taking a few calming breaths and then sitting up with his legs folding Indian style Ranma did his best to glare at the person who startled him. That person turned out to be a small girl about his age with sun-kissed blonde hair that went down past her shoulder to her lower back that was styled in a long braid with her bangs hanging down in front. The girl’s crystal blue eyes were looked at him with amusement and she had a hand in front of her mouth trying to hold back her giggling. She was wearing a blue sun-dress and white sandals.

The girl seeing Ranma glaring put her hands behind her back and smiled at him. “Hi, my name is Tsukino Usagi





Now I am stuck on whether the next chapter should continue this meeting and what happens after or should I do a time skip so i don't spend too much time on their childhood. If you could give your opinion that would be great.[/b]

[Mitchell]

Can you please post a link to Chapters 1 and 2? I can't find them. Until I have those two chapters I make it a habbit of never reading a chapter that hangs in the middle of a fic.

[steveoirish]

Here is the link http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3471948/1/Destiny_Anew

[Spokavriel]

Your chapters are too short for me. There will have to be some more time spent on their child hood I mean you haven't even fleshed out the meeting or done anything to show what kind of relationship if any there would be yet. Also when you time skip how far will you go? Will Genma return and force another training trip getting Ranma cursed before the Beryl begins making an appearance? I'd like it if you could continue at least as far as you need to get the Masaki's involved.

About the chapter length all that you currently have for this story is about the minimum I hope for in a single chapter.

There are some typos but I didn't mark them down this time.

[steveoirish]

I agree with the chapter length, I look at how long my story is and can't help but think that it's not enough. I don't know how or when i'm going to introduce the curse. I don't think Genma will be the person to get Ranma there, I may have to have the Amazons know Yosho. I have about 8 years to work with since Ranma and Usagi are 6 and the SM timeline started when they are 14. Also the TM timeline will start when they are 12 and will be based on the OVA. And with the time skip i only planned 2 yrs at the most

[Staren]

You have the main plot down, but you might want to spend some time on sub plots to get more into the chapters. In this chapter for example, maybe spend a few days story time on Nodoka and Ranma getting to know each other again before the park and work out some personality traits from both of them that there going to be suppresed or more expressed because of being back tohether so early. You could also start a little side story between the mothers becoming friends rather then just a couple lines. What else happened besides the major plot points? That's what really fleshes out a universe.

That's all you really need to work on. Your writing style is actually very good. The only nit pick I have is watch the present tense stuff please. Writing "comes down stairs" instead of "came down stairs" or "thinks" over "thought" is one of my story pet peeves. Someone would have to be really good to pull off present tense well. Past tense reads a lot cleaner in my opinion.

[Spokavriel]

There's one other nitpick. There are a couple moments where it repeats the event but isn't a match. Like when Nodoka opened the door for Setsuna and Ranma. It should either match or have something in position or stray thoughts of the focus character to show why it wasn't experienced the same.