Return ch27

[Sunshine Temple]

Konsaki
Go power of friendship! ... Right out the door!

[Hmmm. About the Senshi/Usagi's talk of the power of friendship right? Given how the Inners seem to be fragmenting into ones and twos...

[Konsaki]

Konsaki
Go power of friendship! ... Right out the door!

[Hmmm. About the Senshi/Usagi's talk of the power of friendship right? Given how the Inners seem to be fragmenting into ones and twos...

Exactly!

[Cheb]

As always it was too long for me to swallow in one day, then I got sidetracked, forgot the file with the few typos I found and ultimately forgot to comment I'll dig the 3 ytpos up from my netbook later.

This chapter is quite a turn upside down. Murdock the great and terrible ending as an impotent poof, the ominous and unsolvable mysteries surrounding him crumbling into something shallow and trivial while a new more sinister figure starts looming over the horizon. Is that non-euclidian guy an associate of a particular squid-dragon cross not to be named? Brrr.
Splendid!

"Ranma did grumble about wanting some carnal fun without any strings attached."

Squick!
Or not.

[Sunshine Temple]

Konsaki
Exactly!

[Excellent. They are fun characters.

Cheb
As always it was too long for me to swallow in one day, then I got sidetracked, forgot the file with the few typos I found and ultimately forgot to comment I'll dig the 3 ytpos up from my netbook later.

[Aww. Still looking forward to seing them.

This chapter is quite a turn upside down. Murdock the great and terrible ending as an impotent poof, the ominous and unsolvable mysteries surrounding him crumbling into something shallow and trivial

[That's how such charlatans often work.

while a new more sinister figure starts looming over the horizon. Is that non-euclidian guy an associate of a particular squid-dragon cross not to be named? Brrr.
Splendid!

[Heh, well maybe not the obvious one ;p

"Ranma did grumble about wanting some carnal fun without any strings attached."

Squick!
Or not.

[Awwwww, don't worry ;p

[Thanks for commenting.

[Cheb]

"They're above par for mercenary groups. They're unusually large and have been successful for a couple decades. Most of their work has been fairly low-key though. They normally don't go up against regular military. Doesn't look like they have any experience in fighting non-humans though.

To think of it, the real communists started to die out in 1980s. With the *idea* shattered, the people who go into such a groups are our modern disillusioned youth or cynical manipulators. They can not be communists in anything but name. They can be nationalists exploiting a hacked communist ideology. They could be radicals, they could be a mercenary group using parts of the ideology to boost their troops' morale. They could be a private army of someone rich behind the scenes.
But the communists as such don't exist anymore. They're like dinosaurs, either went extinct or evolved into birds.
IMHO.
P.S. This is maybe a result of me thinking hard for whom to vote on the upcoming elections.
P.P.S. Also, the communism (the true one) is strongly tied with internationalism, forming multi-national empires (cue USSR) and propagating across the world. It's a beast that cannot live if confined to less than a third of the globe. It's a thing that cannot be built locally.
Plus, with the eastern-European countries now very strongly gravitating towards nationalism / finding a national identity, the international-aligned communism is a definitely dying brand. There could be some distorted local version akin to national-socialism, but then who would support that when the pure nationalism is simpler.

"If not we can take care it,"

An ytpo?

Staring at the woman with flickering, sparking hair, Kiri allowed a small smile to form. "Good."

`
"Great, a test." Jupiter sighed. "Really how much commitment to we have to prove?"

Extra ' between paragraphs

[PCHeintz72]

"Really how much commitment to we have to prove?"

'to' s/b 'do'

[Sunshine Temple]

Cheb

"They're above par for mercenary groups. They're unusually large and have been successful for a couple decades. Most of their work has been fairly low-key though. They normally don't go up against regular military. Doesn't look like they have any experience in fighting non-humans though.

To think of it, the real communists started to die out in 1980s. With the *idea* shattered, the people who go into such a groups are our modern disillusioned youth or cynical manipulators. They can not be communists in anything but name. They can be nationalists exploiting a hacked communist ideology. They could be radicals, they could be a mercenary group using parts of the ideology to boost their troops' morale. They could be a private army of someone rich behind the scenes.
But the communists as such don't exist anymore. They're like dinosaurs, either went extinct or evolved into birds.

[Indeed. Even among the Numbers, the "true believers" is in the distinct minority.
[And even they have to admit the reality of the situation.

[As for the Union, you nailed it. They're a mercenary group that uses some ideological nostalgia for a bit of morale boosting and marketing.

IMHO.
P.S. This is maybe a result of me thinking hard for whom to vote on the upcoming elections.
P.P.S. Also, the communism (the true one) is strongly tied with internationalism, forming multi-national empires (cue USSR) and propagating across the world. It's a beast that cannot live if confined to less than a third of the globe. It's a thing that cannot be built locally.
Plus, with the eastern-European countries now very strongly gravitating towards nationalism / finding a national identity, the international-aligned communism is a definitely dying brand. There could be some distorted local version akin to national-socialism, but then who would support that when the pure nationalism is simpler.

[Well, the appeal of various utopian schemes is eternal, the wrapping just changes.
[And the imperialism is a good point, as that's another evergreen aspect.

"If not we can take care it,"

An ytpo?

[Yes.
"If not we can take care of it,"

Staring at the woman with flickering, sparking hair, Kiri allowed a small smile to form. "Good."

`
"Great, a test." Jupiter sighed. "Really how much commitment to we have to prove?"

Extra ' between paragraphs

[got it.

PCHeintz72

"Really how much commitment to we have to prove?"

'to' s/b 'do'

[Got it.
[And added a couple terms defined at the end. So far just have boffin and nome de guerre.

[Planning to upload to FF.net either tonight or tomorrow.
[Thanks for the comments. Have really improved it.

[Uploaded with V3a

[PCHeintz72]

Out of curiosity... how is the next chapter, is it even started? I ask as you sometimes after long breaks between story updates have the habit of quickly posting a following chapter since you tend to write ahead of your preview chapter.

[Sunshine Temple]

PCHeintz72
Out of curiosity... how is the next chapter, is it even started? I ask as you sometimes after long breaks between story updates have the habit of quickly posting a following chapter since you tend to write ahead of your preview chapter.

[That tends to come from my habit of writing a chapter, finding that it's running far, far too long, and splitting it up.
[In this case I have over 6,000 words on the next part, Interlude 3.
[By it's nature the interlude will be shorter than a full chapter (one hopes).

[For ch28 itself I have a mere 2k written.

[PCHeintz72]

The ATOM feeds notified my you posted it...

Out of curiosity, I reacquired chapters 25 thru 29 and did a binary compare with my prior copies. I doubt I'll go further back unless you tell me you've updated a chapter that far back.

Chapter 25 had 1 altered line, but it was just a dash changing type.

Chapter 26 had 2 altered lines, also just dashes changing type.

Chapter 27 had 13 altered lines, that one however, had all ellipses reduced to 3 periods, from the 4 you had.

Chapter 28 had 2 altered lines, dashes again.

Chapter 29... Well, I expected differences, Let's see:

1. Outside the obvious corrections I noticed the scene separators are different from your HTML version.

2. ellipses corrected again

3. 2 minor lines I'll have to look into, they were additions, but it must have been either yourself on a whim, or another commenter I missed as I cannot recall them being discussed as being added.

4. Another interesting item, the trailing spaces on some of the lines in the html copy are not on FF.NET, this is good, as I dislike trailing spaces.

Otherwise... looks good.

[Sunshine Temple]

PCHeintz72

The ATOM feeds notified my you posted it...

[Yup.

Out of curiosity, I reacquired chapters 25 thru 29 and did a binary compare with my prior copies. I doubt I'll go further back unless you tell me you've updated a chapter that far back.

Chapter 25 had 1 altered line, but it was just a dash changing type.

Chapter 26 had 2 altered lines, also just dashes changing type.

Chapter 27 had 13 altered lines, that one however, had all ellipses reduced to 3 periods, from the 4 you had.

Chapter 28 had 2 altered lines, dashes again.

Chapter 29... Well, I expected differences, Let's see:

[That's good. I don't recall any edits that go before those chapters.

1. Outside the obvious corrections I noticed the scene separators are different from your HTML version.
[The scene seperators are because FF.net doesn't like the one I like to use in HTML

2. ellipses corrected again

3. 2 minor lines I'll have to look into, they were additions, but it must have been either yourself on a whim, or another commenter I missed as I cannot recall them being discussed as being added.

[Could have been ones off sideboard. Do they make sense as corrections?


Otherwise... looks good.

[Excellent. Thanks for the checkup. Though I fear the html versions being slightly more up to date. Though I try to get the ff.net version up to the same standard.

[PCHeintz72]

[Could have been ones off sideboard. Do they make sense as corrections?

Seems to... The thing is... reading it... you cannot tell the difference, but to a compare program, the characters are different values. Here is the line from chapter 25 for an example on hyphens (the one changed is the one in front of the '-well-', regrettibly, the post box on this forum ruined the changed character and shows it the same ):

Before

"Grandma was also behind our battle armor's design too," Nabiki gave an evil smile and went with it. "She's been a part of this project as long as mother's -well- been our mother, of course she's been training us since day one."

After

"Grandma was also behind our battle armor's design too," Nabiki gave an evil smile and went with it. "She's been a part of this project as long as mother's -well- been our mother, of course she's been training us since day one."

And ellipse change, this example from chapter 27:

Before

"Oh no...." Ranma rubbed her face.

After

"Oh no..." Ranma rubbed her face.

[Excellent. Thanks for the checkup. Though I fear the html versions being slightly more up to date. Though I try to get the ff.net version up to the same standard.

I suppose, if you want, I could copy down the HTML versions of 25-29 and check them. I'd rather not do the whole story though. Maybe a single early chapter and a single middle one though, say 1 and 15 if you want.

Edit: Numbering and formatting are minor annoyances, as the chapter numbers do not completely line up.

[Sunshine Temple]

PCHeintz72

[Could have been ones off sideboard. Do they make sense as corrections?

Seems to... The thing is... reading it... you cannot tell the difference, but to a compare program, the characters are different values. Here is the line from chapter 25 for an example on hyphens (the one changed is the one in front of the '-well-', regrettibly, the post box on this forum ruined the changed character and shows it the same ):

[Heh, well so minor like that it's not even a real punctuation change.

[Excellent. Thanks for the checkup. Though I fear the html versions being slightly more up to date. Though I try to get the ff.net version up to the same standard.

I suppose, if you want, I could copy down the HTML versions of 25-29 and check them. I'd rather not do the whole story though. Maybe a single early chapter and a single middle one though, say 1 and 15 if you want.

[There's probably no need for that.
[Hopefully.

Edit: Numbering and formatting are minor annoyances, as the chapter numbers do not completely line up.

[Yeah, the problem is that FF.net does not allow non-chapters.
[And I have two (and soon to be three) interludes.
[So that makes the ff.net chapter off from the real chapter.

[PCHeintz72]

PCHeintz72


I suppose, if you want, I could copy down the HTML versions of 25-29 and check them. I'd rather not do the whole story though. Maybe a single early chapter and a single middle one though, say 1 and 15 if you want.

[There's probably no need for that.
[Hopefully.

Well... I had already done chapter 1 & 15... I can tell you there are some differences. Mostly minor... like the header lines, and some minor punctuation, and more dashs and ellipses... though in the latter case noticed discrepancies in their use in your HTML copy, not just the FF.NET copy.

I was waiting your response before going to the trouble of checking 25+... not bothing at this point.

One thing you probably should change though, is the crossover tag... currently that story is in the straight Ranma section, it really belongs in the crossover section for Ranma and Sailor Moon.

[Sunshine Temple]

Well... I had already done chapter 1 & 15... I can tell you there are some differences. Mostly minor... like the header lines, and some minor punctuation, and more dashs and ellipses... though in the latter case noticed discrepancies in their use in your HTML copy, not just the FF.NET copy.

I was waiting your response before going to the trouble of checking 25+... not bothing at this point.

One thing you probably should change though, is the crossover tag... currently that story is in the straight Ranma section, it really belongs in the crossover section for Ranma and Sailor Moon.

That much is good.
Probably best to not bother with checking the other.
Huh, don't see the crossover section on the options with Ranma and Sailor Moon.
Will have to do that tomorrow.