Terra in Tokyo

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Postby lwf58 » Sat Apr 22, 2006 10:07 pm

Chapter six is up if you're following along. It's at http://boliver.florestica.com/tint/index.htm
One clue: the title of the chapter is a bit of misdirection. It doesn't really tell you anything about the chapter contents.
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Postby Cheb » Sun Apr 23, 2006 11:28 am

Wow... At last the story feels as a whole, all the pieces finally clicked into places. :)
I could find only one point that seems arguable. I may be wrong, but "launched" in application to the head feels wrong. I absent-mindedly mistook it for "hand" and then wondered where the head injury resulted from :oops:
Maybe, I don't know, "slammed", "butted", or something else...
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Postby lwf58 » Sun Apr 23, 2006 12:27 pm

Yeah, this is perhaps the best chapter so far.
I think my favorite part of the chapter is that Ben did something I've never seen anywhere else: when he gave Terra the power to move faster than a speeding bullet, he showed that doing it had severe consequences. Heaven knows the Flash never had to deal with the fact that if you hit somebody at bullet speed, you have to deal with that whole "equal and opposite reaction" thing!
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Postby Benjamin A. Oliver » Sun Apr 23, 2006 5:15 pm

I could find only one point that seems arguable. I may be wrong, but "launched" in application to the head feels wrong.

Well, "launched" can be in respect to any object sent forward at a high speed. You can "launch" your fist at someone's face just as easily as if you bunch up the muscles around your spine and "launch" your head at someone.
Wow... At last the story feels as a whole, all the pieces finally clicked into places.

Thanks! Glad to hear it got better right around here. I suspect the story may not have seemed like it had a proper direction in chapters 1-5, which were pretty much the intro and setup.
Heaven knows the Flash never had to deal with the fact that if you hit somebody at bullet speed, you have to deal with that whole "equal and opposite reaction" thing!

Terra didn't have much else to compensate for her bodily weakness. She's still just a teenage girl, so her muscles, while if she can ignore the pain for a while, can propel her fairly fast before they tear apart. If she's forcing physics to their limits, while she can do some damage if she impacts something, she's not strong enough to keep the backlash from hurting her.
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Postby lwf58 » Sun Apr 23, 2006 5:37 pm

There's an old anime show that did something similar. It never made it over here as fan sub or licensed, which is kind of a shame since it was a very funny show. It was called "Wingman", and it was sort of like "Greatest American Hero" in concept (except that Wingman came out long before GAH).
One episode that really sticks in my mind was when the main character, who could give his heroic identity any power that he could dream up, gave himself the ability to run at super speed. He immediately transformed and took off. The problem came when he realized that it had never occurred to him that he hadn't specified how he was to safely stop moving at super speed. George of the Jungle would have winced in sympathy! ^_^
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Postby Cheb » Sun Apr 23, 2006 6:12 pm

Well, "launched" can be in respect to any object sent forward at a high speed.

Yes, but (correct me if I'm wrong) it implies "beginning" something. The head could travel only very short distances, and the distance between Terra's and Jadeite's foreheads was quite small. So using "launched" (implying "began the movement") is like slooowing that action, implying it's long enough to distignuish its phases (beginning, movement, ending). It just feels wrong. Any one-shot description (to slam, to ram, to butt) would fit this role better IMHO.
Thanks! Glad to hear it got better right around here. I suspect the story may not have seemed like it had a proper direction in chapters 1-5, which were pretty much the intro and setup.

Um... Maybe it would be less confusing from the start if you mark that fact somehow...? Like <<Chapters 1..6: Arc 1, "The Beginning">>, for example.
She's still just a teenage girl,

Don't forget that the Senshi transformation increases her strength and durability (approximately tenfold, as our calculations revealed - it's pity that old discussion isn't available yet). On the other hand, Jadite should have some reinforcing spells on him too.
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Postby lwf58 » Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:58 pm

Cheb wrote:Don't forget that the Senshi transformation increases her strength and durability (approximately tenfold, as our calculations revealed - it's pity that old discussion isn't available yet). On the other hand, Jadite should have some reinforcing spells on him too.

That may be true of the eight Senshi of the planets and Sailor Moon, but this is the Sailor Chibimoon transformation (Who can forget the canon "Pink Sugar Heart Attack" that petered out after one or two yards/meters?) as bestowed by a mutant cat-seal. If the transformation gives her any benefits other than a disguise field and clothing that can't be easily torn, we haven't seen them yet.
Not only that, but it's an incomplete transformation in some ways, since she hasn't been given the equipment that goes with the costume. Added to the fact that Arby sabotages her constantly, it's a wonder that she isn't weaker as Chibimoon than she is as a normal girl. ^_^;;
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Postby lwf58 » Mon Apr 24, 2006 9:09 pm

And chapter 7 is available at http://boliver.florestica.com/tint/index.htm
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Postby Questara » Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:04 pm

First time I read NETTG, I just couldn't get into it, but I am really liking Terra in Tokyo, and going back to NETTG, I am discovering I like it too. Guess you just need to read it in the right mood, I suppose.
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Postby Cheb » Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:30 am

Turnig into a pokemon... Brrrr!
But I guess, stil better than dying.
I like this thing more and more :)
But there goes my serious drawback. The more I like something -- the less I am inclined to notice its downsides or errors (if there are any).
I could find only one bug in the Chapter 7:
, she didn't have anything appropriate to wear for
a job interview.

Extra line break.
... + new words: bachelor's pad; schmooze.
Not only that, but it's an incomplete transformation in some ways,

On the other hand, maybe it *does* give her the x10 speed and toughnes -- otherwise she would have been nothing more than a splat on that wall...
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Postby lwf58 » Tue Apr 25, 2006 8:23 am

Questara wrote:First time I read NETTG, I just couldn't get into it, but I am really liking Terra in Tokyo, and going back to NETTG, I am discovering I like it too. Guess you just need to read it in the right mood, I suppose.

Ben's sense of humor is very quirky. Once you get used to it, though, you get absorbed into the cult-- Er, you become a fan for life! ^_^;;
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Postby lwf58 » Tue Apr 25, 2006 8:52 am

Cheb wrote:Turnig into a pokemon... Brrrr!
But I guess, stil better than dying.
I like this thing more and more :)

But was it a hallucination? Only her ArbyFish knows for sure.
My personal theory is that it was. When she told Arby about it, he acted as if he would have liked to have done it, but then he reasoned out that it wouldn't have been 'proper'.
Something that it helps to know about Arby is that he places great importance on propriety. His logic is extremely twisted by human standards, but it's consistant and, as we show in the "Shroom Day" story arc in the NETTG sprite web comic, makes perfect sense to other ArbyFish. In fact, you'll be seeing more about that later in this story. He just has a very alien perspective.
But there goes my serious drawback. The more I like something -- the less I am inclined to notice its downsides or errors (if there are any).
I could find only one bug in the Chapter 7:
, she didn't have anything appropriate to wear for
a job interview.

Extra line break.

Fixed. Thanks for pointing it out.
You shouldn't find very many technical errors in the archived version of the story... I post it, and I'm an editor. I go over the story very carefully to get rid of as many of 'em as I can. Occasionally something gets through, but for the most part, you should only need to comment on plot, style, and other story elements.
... + new words: bachelor's pad; schmooze.

You were able to find the definitions, right?
Not only that, but it's an incomplete transformation in some ways,

On the other hand, maybe it *does* give her the x10 speed and toughnes -- otherwise she would have been nothing more than a splat on that wall...

She was just a splat on the wall, and although she hung in there on pure willpower, she eventually died from the internal injuries. She never got up after hitting that wall because it broke pretty much every bone in her body in multiple places. The fact that she was able to revive from it is another issue and the explanation for that is in future chapters. As I pointed out, the only thing that came through that impact relatively intact was her fuku. IIRC, other Senshi get tossed through walls and it just knocks the wind out of 'em.
So much for increased toughness.
Increased speed is also unproven, because she didn't actually have faster running speed or reflexes. She simply manipulated time so that she had the effect of increased speed. Even then, the act of moving tore her muscles and ligiments.
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Postby Benjamin A. Oliver » Tue Apr 25, 2006 11:21 am

Don't forget that the Senshi transformation increases her strength and durability (approximately tenfold, as our calculations revealed - it's pity that old discussion isn't available yet). On the other hand, Jadite should have some reinforcing spells on him too.

I argue that there is no strength/speed/toughness increase. The girls are naturally tough. There's one episode in the R series (the Nurse Minako episode) where Minako, untransformed, effortlessly leaps to a second-story balcony. Likewise, in the first series, I believe Makoto was single-handedly taking on Zoicite with her bare hands, untransformed. In Makoto's case, she hadn't even found out she was a Sailor Senshi yet. Rei had unusual psychic powers, and her ability to freeze/burn away evil spirits doesn't even appear to be Sailor Mars-based.
There is a slight possibility that it protects them from environmental effects, such as when they were at the North Pole during a blizzard and Usagi was the only one shivering. There was a part in the R movie where they were on an asteroid which may or may not have had an atmosphere at the time. But that's not to say they couldn't have survived without their Sailor powers active. :)
Terra, on the other hand... at the beginning of TinT, appears to get no benefit from her transformation. She doesn't even get a nifty magical attack. I'd side with Larry and say that she's probably even weaker as Chibimoon than she is even normally.
First time I read NETTG, I just couldn't get into it, but I am really liking Terra in Tokyo, and going back to NETTG, I am discovering I like it too. Guess you just need to read it in the right mood, I suppose.

Hey, great! Glad to hear it. I guess it does take the right mood to get started on it, or find the right point in the story where it all clicks together nicely.
Ben's sense of humor is very quirky. Once you get used to it, though, you get absorbed into the cult-- Er, you become a fan for life! ^_^;;

After a while, the story grows on you. Kind of like mold and fungus and such. ^_^
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Postby Cheb » Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:07 pm

You were able to find the definitions, right?

Yes :) My electronic dictionary is very good.
I argue that there is no strength/speed/toughness increase. The girls are naturally tough. There's one episode in the R series (the Nurse Minako episode) where Minako, untransformed, effortlessly leaps to a second-story balcony.

That may be a bug or exagerration. Or may be V can tap part of her powers in the untransformed state.
Likewise, in the first series, I believe Makoto was single-handedly taking on Zoicite with her bare hands, untransformed.

She landed one blow, making his lip bleed. Then he took her seriously, and her luck ended.
I found an interesting fact, in the Episode 74. I dechiphered the numeral in Japanese speech (juroku = 16) that was omitted in the English subtitles, and so we know that SM can stand at 16x gravity. No shcoolgirls are *that* tough.
Image Image
Add here the calculations we performed to know how much strength you need to jump 5 meters up (as Senshi do). Both methods give estimation for the strength increase approx. 10x
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Postby Cheb » Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:15 pm

I'd side with Larry and say that she's probably even weaker as Chibimoon than she is even normally.

Beat Arby with a can of antifungal agent :evil:
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