Zef wrote: In memory of my brother
To the FiMF community:
Robert Morrison, aka MythrilMoth, my friend of 24 years and an amazing human being, has passed away.
He parted in his sleep at some point between Sunday night and Monday morning, due to health complications. It had been clear that, for the last few months, his health was in decline, and it worsened exponentially over the last couple of weeks. According to Mrs. White, his aunt, he had considered the possibility already, but he never made any mention to me and it was a surprise to us all regardless. I apologize for not announcing it to the FiMF community earlier, but it has been a very difficult few days for his family and myself.
Perhaps it was wishful thinking, or maybe denial, to keep hoping for things to get better, for things to at least return to the manageable status quo of last year or a couple of years ago. But if there is such a thing as "a charmed life", Robert was dealt the exact opposite even before he was born, and one of the many, many reasons I admired him so much was that despite all the pain and loss that he endured all his years, the worst he had to show for it was a short temper.
I know, believe me, I know, he could definitely be an asshole to people who irritated him. But you didn't have to dig deep into him to find a very kind, well-meaning person, a person who wanted to leave behind a much better world than the one he was given, a person who would have fought so hard for his friends and family if his body had let him, and who put his mind and heart into it even harder to compensate. To know him, and to know him deeply, was to know an incredibly strong person who would be loyal to you from one end of the universe to the other. You would know a person who didn't have much, if anything, by way of material goods or money or, indeed, health, but who wished so much for all of those things on so many people, even if they never knew it.
That's why I would come to defend him so often. He was very much a squishy clam, or an oyster--he put so much effort into opening up to the world, to connect with people with his words if he couldn't do it with his presence, and still people would attack and upset and betray his trust often just for shits and giggles, causing him to close his shell and put out the sharpest barbs because of how badly he was hurt. And I hated that. I hated every time he snapped, because I knew that was what people would remember. I knew that was what made him infamous, or even a target, in certain circles. I knew that it would cause others to turn away from him even if they had never actually spoken with him. I called him out in private so much, mollified him, talked him down from his harshest and most vitriolic stupors, because I knew that just under that surface he just wanted friends and the people who could have been friends would endeavor to see only the worst in him.
But if you were his friend, he would move heaven and earth for you. He would grab on and never let you forget that, somewhere, out there in a little town in Texas, there was someone who would lay down his life for you without hesitation, who would bare his soul without expecting anything back.
He wanted the best for all of you. Even if you ever irritated him or annoyed him, it was because he thought highly of you and knew you could be better. He wanted to see so many novice writers succeed, he wanted to the community to succeed, and the only thing he asked in return, the only thing he ever asked in return from the world, was a smidgen of consideration and kindness. He didn't want to be angry; he himself knew what it cost him. But his life was so difficult, through no fault of his own! And people still bit away at him with condescension and meanness and selfishness. And I'm furious, so furious that the world had to keep piling all the worst shit imaginable on him, from the biggest to the tiniest, it all piled up, and if only more people could have opened up to him the way he opened up to the world, maybe he could have had better support to find the right care and maybe right now we could be talking and arguing about the show's latest season.
Moth was my friend. I was his keeper in every way his aunt could not be. He was my brother in spirit and I'm going to miss him. If I'm rambling so badly right now is because I'm speaking directly from my heart.
All I ask of you is to remember him kindly. With all the good and the bad and the horny and the concern and the laughs and the barbs. If even an oyster can produce the brightest pearl from a grain of sand, just keep in mind that he had an entire desert's worth of sand dumped on him and, right up until the end, he kept working so hard to turn all that into pearls.
As for his incomplete and ongoing works, I will make an announcement as soon as I am able. He leaves behind a mountain of finished stories, in this and many other fandoms, and I know many people were very much looking forward to the rest--I mean, they wouldn't have bugged him so often otherwise. His family is still going through his belongings, so I don't know yet if he left specific instructions regarding this aspect of his life. I also want to give them time to sort his physical footprint, and I need time myself to so I can sort his online one. I'm sorry if you were wondering what this means for certain stories, but I hope you understand.
I love you, brother, wherever you are.
Then I found the same message posted to the FFML mailinglist by Wanderer D:
Wanderer D wrote:Some of you might remember the Eternal Lost Lurker, aka MithrilMoth. It pains me to inform those of us that remain in the list, that he passed away this last Sunday in his sleep. I've lost track of a lot of people here, and seen some of you in fimfic. If you're ever there, drop a line, I'd love to hear from you, even as we lose one of our own.
While the name 'Mythril Moth' didn't ring a bell, the Eternal Lost Lurker name certainly did.
Sad news, he will be missed
For those still wanting to browse his extensive amount of writings: http://www.mythrilmoth.net/ (tho he seems not to have updated that since 2017), and https://www.fimfiction.net/user/46614/MythrilMoth
