Have you ever had an idea which struck you as oddly appealing, and you felt tempted to write it despite knowing objectively that it was REALLY not a good idea? I suspect it must happen pretty often given the number of spamfics on the web. What this situation calls for is obviously some sort of Spamfic Seed Oubliette. Post something semi-descriptive here in this thread rather than feeling obliged to flesh it out into a postable spamfic, or (worse) weave the idea into an otherwise respectable story where it wouldn’t fit properly.
I’ll start this thing off. I was reading a Harry Potter fic while, a few feet away, my stepson played one of the Disgaea games. I can only say that… some characters should never speak simultaneously:
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“Harry Potter Sir is coming back to kitchens at last! Dobby be getting Sir a treacle tart right away, d00d!”
Harry stared down at the vibrating elf with a flat expression of disbelief, observing despite his mind’s best efforts at repression that Dobby appeared to be perpetrating an even more epic fashion catastrophe than usual. This eyesore could give the Headmaster a run for his money! “…Dobby? Are you wearing… Is that really an electric blue PENGUIN suit? With a bum bag and two peg legs?” And why am I asking questions I don’t want answers to? he thought, somehow suppressing a wince.
“Er, Dobby isn’t quite sure where the idea is coming from, but when he puts it on Dobby is suddenly knowing a very nifty new magic, Harry Potter Sir D00d!”
Despite having a glum certainty that learning any details would only net him a headache at best, Harry just had to ask. He compromised between his curiosity and his common sense by doing so silently, with a questioning look.
“Oh, it is being a great trick for if Harry Potter Sir is being faced with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named inside Hogwarts again! If Dobby be dressed like this and Harry Potter Sir be throwing or Banishing Dobby at He-Who-Be-Having-Wrong-Nose-For-Sneers, then Dobby be exploding fearsomely when Dark Lord is only expecting Dobby to bleed on him! Boom, d00d!”
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I think you can see why it struck me as urgent to find a place for this that is NOT my Harry Potter fic.