Cringeworthy fic ideas (post here lest ye commit spamfic)

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Cringeworthy fic ideas (post here lest ye commit spamfic)

Postby gsteemso » Thu Jan 28, 2016 10:27 pm

Have you ever had an idea which struck you as oddly appealing, and you felt tempted to write it despite knowing objectively that it was REALLY not a good idea? I suspect it must happen pretty often given the number of spamfics on the web. What this situation calls for is obviously some sort of Spamfic Seed Oubliette. Post something semi-descriptive here in this thread rather than feeling obliged to flesh it out into a postable spamfic, or (worse) weave the idea into an otherwise respectable story where it wouldn’t fit properly.

I’ll start this thing off. I was reading a Harry Potter fic while, a few feet away, my stepson played one of the Disgaea games. I can only say that… some characters should never speak simultaneously:

---------------

“Harry Potter Sir is coming back to kitchens at last! Dobby be getting Sir a treacle tart right away, d00d!”

Harry stared down at the vibrating elf with a flat expression of disbelief, observing despite his mind’s best efforts at repression that Dobby appeared to be perpetrating an even more epic fashion catastrophe than usual. This eyesore could give the Headmaster a run for his money! “…Dobby? Are you wearing… Is that really an electric blue PENGUIN suit? With a bum bag and two peg legs?” And why am I asking questions I don’t want answers to? he thought, somehow suppressing a wince.

“Er, Dobby isn’t quite sure where the idea is coming from, but when he puts it on Dobby is suddenly knowing a very nifty new magic, Harry Potter Sir D00d!”

Despite having a glum certainty that learning any details would only net him a headache at best, Harry just had to ask. He compromised between his curiosity and his common sense by doing so silently, with a questioning look.

“Oh, it is being a great trick for if Harry Potter Sir is being faced with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named inside Hogwarts again! If Dobby be dressed like this and Harry Potter Sir be throwing or Banishing Dobby at He-Who-Be-Having-Wrong-Nose-For-Sneers, then Dobby be exploding fearsomely when Dark Lord is only expecting Dobby to bleed on him! Boom, d00d!”

--------------

I think you can see why it struck me as urgent to find a place for this that is NOT my Harry Potter fic.
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Re: Cringeworthy fic ideas (post here lest ye commit spamfic

Postby WG_Writer » Mon Feb 22, 2016 7:12 pm

"Not fair."

"Come on Ranma it could be worse."

"Not fair."

"In a way its your own fault."

"Not fair."

"You were the one that wanted to show Shampoo that it would work for you."

Ranma-chan looked at Akane then at the aging mushrooms that failed to return her to her rightful age, the Drowned Man Water that also failed to work. "Not fair."

Akane shook her head in resignation. no matter the argument she could not convince Ranma that things would be alright. Though the only good thing that happened was Shampoo was awol at the moment. She did fail to be 'Tail Red' for some reason. "Twoearle did say she would look into fixing it."

Ranma was sitting cross-legged on her futon pouting, her hair was in twin pony tails, she was still a girl and stuck, and was also apparently eight years old. "Not fair."

"Just think, now you will be a straight A student when you go to elementary like a girl your age should." Akane tried to jab her.

Ranma looked backed, "Just think, you are now engaged to an 8 year old girl elementary student half your age."

"... Not fair."
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Re: Cringeworthy fic ideas (post here lest ye commit spamfic

Postby ckosacranoid » Tue Feb 23, 2016 5:07 pm

WG_Writer wrote:"Not fair."

"Come on Ranma it could be worse."

"Not fair."

"In a way its your own fault."

"Not fair."

"You were the one that wanted to show Shampoo that it would work for you."

Ranma-chan looked at Akane then at the aging mushrooms that failed to return her to her rightful age, the Drowned Man Water that also failed to work. "Not fair."

Akane shook her head in resignation. no matter the argument she could not convince Ranma that things would be alright. Though the only good thing that happened was Shampoo was awol at the moment. She did fail to be 'Tail Red' for some reason. "Twoearle did say she would look into fixing it."

Ranma was sitting cross-legged on her futon pouting, her hair was in twin pony tails, she was still a girl and stuck, and was also apparently eight years old. "Not fair."

"Just think, now you will be a straight A student when you go to elementary like a girl your age should." Akane tried to jab her.

Ranma looked backed, "Just think, you are now engaged to an 8 year old girl elementary student half your age."

"... Not fair."





and now for kunos quote......
"yis fair Maidain Akane, is it true that you are enganged to a 8 year old girl? the hevens now weep on the eve oof our best date ever. You have fallen into the arms of a girl and a loli at that. Everyone thought that I was nuts for chasing after 2 maidans. you have fallen very far and I shall weep for you this day cause both of my loves have shone to be in love with each other and that one if really into loli's." kuno turns and runs off crying.

and the rest of the school looks at akane in news eyes for being a child lover now.....
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Re: Cringeworthy fic ideas (post here lest ye commit spamfic

Postby gsteemso » Tue Feb 23, 2016 7:41 pm

Hmm. Grim follow-through there. How everyone would respond will depend on the winner of a clash between two powerful forces of narrative causality that are among those controlling the Ranmaverse, specifically “It’s Kuno, there’s no possible way he could be right about this” (alas, weaker in canon than in fanon), and “It’s Furinkan, the most outrageous claim is obviously the most accurate.” The latter seems more canon-compatible but a bit dark, and I think Takahashi would only have considered such a plotline if there were some completely stupid deus ex machina applied soon afterwards in order to return the series to its sitcom-like steady state.
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Re: Cringeworthy fic ideas (post here lest ye commit spamfic

Postby ckosacranoid » Mon Feb 29, 2016 4:35 pm

gsteemso wrote:Hmm. Grim follow-through there. How everyone would respond will depend on the winner of a clash between two powerful forces of narrative causality that are among those controlling the Ranmaverse, specifically “It’s Kuno, there’s no possible way he could be right about this” (alas, weaker in canon than in fanon), and “It’s Furinkan, the most outrageous claim is obviously the most accurate.” The latter seems more canon-compatible but a bit dark, and I think Takahashi would only have considered such a plotline if there were some completely stupid deus ex machina applied soon afterwards in order to return the series to its sitcom-like steady state.


Akane just stood there totaly in shock after Kuno said what he t=did and then out of no where Gsteemo poped up making some comments about this turning into a dark fic. She just watched as everyone started talking and wispering to each other about her new so called love life. she turned to Ranma after picking her jaw off the ground, "This is all your fault yet again for being the center of every mess in town. This time you get to clean the mess up since I quit being Akane Tendo."

Turns to the Audiance, 'Does anyone know where I can get a new job where I will not be kidnapped every week, Be forced to fight idiots, deal with a sex changing boytoy, where I dont have to have the worst cooking skill in the world, and I can learn to swim?"
"You in the there in the third row, you heard that I can get a job with the cast of tank girls? HELL YES, I AM SO OUT OF HERE!" as she walks off screen leaving everyone in the rest of the cast wonering what just happened?
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Re: Cringeworthy fic ideas (post here lest ye commit spamfic

Postby Ellen Kuhfeld » Mon Feb 29, 2016 9:33 pm

It would be safer to get into the cast of Girls und Panzer, with the bonus that she could turn the tank upright again if it tips over.
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Re: Cringeworthy fic ideas (post here lest ye commit spamfic

Postby gsteemso » Tue Mar 01, 2016 12:17 am

…Huh. My apologies for apparently having piddled in your metaphorical corn flakes, ckosacranoid. Wasn’t intentional. I’d actually been thinking more along the lines of the following excrescence, for which I also am sorry:

Kuno, using his usual sort of warped logic that makes sane people wince, decides that the best way to retain the fiery Akane’s affections (for, plainly, she would always remain devoted to the manly charms of a magificence such as his own, even if the details may have unfortunately been obscured by this temporary psychological deviance which has regrettably overtaken her inferior female mind—as Kenko wrote of him in Girl Days, ‘World of his own, folks, world of his own’) is to become younger himself, so that as he grows up again, her attention will naturally be carried along and return towards individuals (i.e., himself) of a more socially allowable age. By applying sufficient motivation (or, as others might view it, unethical management practices) to his staff (do we postulate the existence of an anime-continuity Sarugakure Sasuke for this little exercise?), they are forced to allow him to become aware of the Age Mushrooms that Ryoga brought to town that one time, and subsequent to a ridiculously expensive nationwide search, he youthens himself to also be eight years old.

Where the story could be taken from there is wide open, though I wonder if a desperate Soun and Genma might use the Age Mushrooms (and, if they are frantic enough, the Nannichuan as well) from the original snippet on _Akane_. Cue great distress amongst every other character, and probably general absurd shenanigans.

At the risk of plummeting over a cliff into purely fanon territory, just why ARE the two self-proclaimed Masters of Anything Goes so fixated on their children marrying? Unless you count the two-fighter special attack Ranma and Akane used against the Dojo Destroyer in the anime, nothing specific to the Tendo School is specifically shown in canon to even still be practiced by anyone, which makes uniting it with the Saotome branch seem fairly pointless. Actually, can anyone who knows Japanese please check if the whole “The schools must be joined!” concept even appears in the original, or is it more of a translation artefact (or, horrors, yet more fanon)?
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Re: Cringeworthy fic ideas (post here lest ye commit spamfic

Postby ckosacranoid » Tue Mar 01, 2016 11:45 pm

hey getsoom, dont worry about it. you didnt get me mad at all, you gave me an idea to have akane respond to both kuno and your comment at the same time and totaly break the forth wall like they did in deadpool like mad. of course, now we have to figure out who we are going to get to reaplce akane now since she quit....

could you think some other to replace akane?
Queen Barel from sailor moon....she is out of work after just one season as a villion.

lynn minmay......HELLNOFORTHELOVEOFGOD!!!!!!!!!

fell free to toss your ideas and how they might react from older series being out of production or other actors and actress out of work.....and yes keep the charater in tact to fill in for akane as they where....half the fun.
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Re: Cringeworthy fic ideas (post here lest ye commit spamfic

Postby Té Rowan » Wed Mar 02, 2016 8:48 am

You could try recruiting Naru Narusegawa from Love Hina. She doesn’t need a mallet with her megaton punch.
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Re: Cringeworthy fic ideas (post here lest ye commit spamfic

Postby ckosacranoid » Wed Mar 09, 2016 11:26 am

Write up her job inter veiw......I dare you......then again, I dont know that charater so I will leavr it in your hands.
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Re: Cringeworthy fic ideas (post here lest ye commit spamfic

Postby Té Rowan » Wed Mar 09, 2016 2:19 pm

Much to the world’s surprise, I’m a reader, not a writer.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naru_Narusegawa
http://lovehina.wikia.com/wiki/Naru_Narusegawa

Mind, I have only the first Love Hina book and none of the anime.
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Re: Cringeworthy fic ideas (post here lest ye commit spamfic

Postby Spica75 » Wed Mar 09, 2016 2:31 pm

Té Rowan wrote:Much to the world’s surprise, I’m a reader, not a writer.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naru_Narusegawa
http://lovehina.wikia.com/wiki/Naru_Narusegawa

Mind, I have only the first Love Hina book and none of the anime.


The anime is definitely worth seeing at least once. It´s not superduper best or anything, but it is decently good and funny.
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