What if… — Idea inklings

[Té Rowan]

Can’t remember if I ever mentioned it here, but a long time ago I had the idea of a bunch of Ranmaverse spirits confronting Harry Potter, identifying themselves and then diving into Harry. I was thinking Ranma, the Tendo sisters, Ukyo and Shampoo.

The morning after, Dudley would somehow splash Harry with cold water, much to the older Dursleys’ shock/scare. Harry’s response to seeing his, now her, reflection would be either “Ara!” or “Oh, my!”

Hennyways and milwaukyroads… here is the write-up:

Oh, My… Harry! :: That was unexpected…

[Idea origin: “A Definite Change” (a most unique SI)]

Harry Potter. Boy-Who-Lived. Teen wizard. Stuck at the Dursleys. The usual.

Harry lay asleep in his bed. For once he was not dreaming of homicidal Dark Tossers or smarmy blonds or hot-bod school sisters. No, he was dreaming of…

“Hi. We’re Ranma Saotome.” “I’m Kasumi Tendo.” “I’m Nabiki Tendo.” “I’m Akane Tendo.” “I’m Ukyo Kuonji.” “I’m Konatsu Kenzan.” “I’m Shampoo.” “I’m Mousse.” “I’m Tatewaki Kuno.” “I’m Kodachi Kuno.” <chorusing:> “We apologise for the inconvenience.”

“Huh? Wha…?”

The speakers dogpiled Harry…

“EEP…!”

…and disappeared into him.

“…awk…”

-----

The next morning, after the usual yelling up and yelling at, Harry went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the Dursleys.

King Dudley stood by the sink, filling a glass of water. One must assume he overexerted himself by doing so, because he suddenly fell backwards and the glass went flying.

It hit Harry.

Vernon was about to bellow because some of the water hit him, but swallowed the words with a big gulp.

Petunia stood by the door and pointed at Harry with a shaking hand.

Dudley waved his arms, unable to stand up without help.

Harry looked in a reflecting surface. His late mother’s face looked back at him. “Oh my!”

She looked at the upright Dursleys. “I’m still Harry Potter. Sorry about this.”

-----

Is the wizarding world ready for the Potter School of Open-A-Can-Of-Whup-Ass?

[Ellen Kuhfeld]

As usual, the short version works very well. I'm not sure how the long version would go. But somewhere in it, there would have to be Harry wearing his invisibility cloak and using the Umisenken. At that point he could hand things over to Konatsu, who could stick a dagger into a deserving back without anybody noticing except the recipient.

[Té Rowan]

Since I’m posting old sins, here is another:

[Scene from an unwritten HP fic.]

By Harry’s side stood a man. He was slightly shorter than Vernon, broad of shoulder but otherwise nondescript. He was wearing NATO surplus boots, British Army trousers, a Wehrmacht jacket and a US Army helmet. Over one shoulder hung a bow and a quiver of arrows. Over the other hung a submachinegun. He carried a tanto by one side, a sidearm by the other. In left hand he had a lance and a rifle in the right hand. A string of hand grenades decorated a crosslaid belt on his chest. His eyes showed the innocence of youth, the weariness of the aged and the determination to go on.

Vernon gulped. Loudly. “W-w-w-who a-are y-you?”

“I’m the Forgotten Soldier.”

“… one of them?”

“If by them you mean the Wizarding world, no. I’m a doughboy, a GI, a squaddie if you will. I fought at Thermopylae. Königgrätz. Solferino. Kanagawa. Khyber Pass. Petrograd. Guadalcanal. Iwo Jima. The Alamo. I was on the frontline in every skirmish, every battle, every war ever fought. I’ve been there, done that, seen it all. I’ve seen it all many times.”

The soldier focused his eyes back onto Vernon. “Right now, your nephew who you so love to belittle and put down is on the frontline in a war against terror. A war he has to win. If he does not, the consequences for you, your family, your relatives, your neighbours and your acquaintances will be enormous. He is literally fighting for your lives, your right to live.

“Those he fights against see you and other non-magical people as nothing more that beasts of burden and a source of amusement. Amusement that consists of torturing, raping and killing in as many and as gruesome ways as possible. The only way to stop them is for Harry to win. To win, he must know how to knock out, how to incapacitate, how to kill.”

The soldier took a deep breath.

“I am going to teach him to win.”

[Té Rowan]

And yet another:

[Warning: SI. AU. Implied x-over.]

“Target Mike Romeo confirmed!”

“Target Mike Romeo confirmed. Return to base.”

“Returning to base, aye-aye.”

The Great Hall was silent from the interruption by this alien exchange emanating from a black (and silver) box lying on the table beside Ravenclaw student Taniwha Okami. Taniwha just sat there and smirked. Loudly. No matter the sheer impossibility of it, he smirked loudly.

“You seem to know something that we don’t.”

“Everybody know something nobody else does.”

“About these voices, I mean.”

“Let’s just say that there’s a good chance now that House Slytherin will no longer be a house of ambitionless asslickers prostituting themselves as slaves to an arch-mudblood.”

Another shock went through the Great Hall. A few Slytherins fumed.

“And the reason for that would be?” came on down from the teachers’ table.

“Simple, Headmaster. Said arch-mudblood has been removed from the weave. He’s pining for the fjords. He wouldn’t VOOM if you put ten thousand volts through him. In short, he’s an ex-Dark Lord.”

A number of muggleborns snickered and tittered.

“But the prophecy…” Dumbledore shut up.

“Ah, that infamous prophecy about a boy being the one to off Riddle. Two things wrong with it. One, it’s a forgery. Two, it’s been fulfilled already.”

“And how would you know that it’s a forgery?” an oily voice interjected.

“Want me to tell you, Mr. Snape, or want to see the Panavision movie in full Dolby Pro-Logic surround sound of Voldie-Toldie scribbling it down on paper and then sending you to zap poor Sybil with a custom charm designed to emulate a Seer’s Trance and make her recite those same words?”

Potions Master Snape jumped up, drew and fired a curse at Taniwha.

WHAM! ZAP!

“ARRRGHHHKL!” The oily voice was a lot less oily now.

“And it was fulfilled in Godric’s Hollow yay years ago anyway,” Taniwha added.

“How so?” asked a shocked Dumbledore.

“Tom Riddle did die that night. That which you call You-Know-Who and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has been an undead since then. Even drinking unicorn blood didn’t help him. Not that much, anyway.”

“…” Right now, everyone was too shocked to ask anything, including the Headmaster.

“For the last month, a team of Mahouka, Nerimians, Senshi and Mamono Hunters has been hunting down the remaining horcruxes. Remarkable how well a Moon Healing Escalation from an Eternal Moon purifies a horcrux.”

“…”

“And tonight, Task Force Tenno-Mahou struck Moldyshorts’ lair and wiped out every Death Eater inside, the last horcrux and the Dark Tosser, in approximately that order.”

“But that means that I…”

“Yes, Headmaster Dumbledore with many other titles, You’ve Been Hacked.”

[Taniwha Okami is one of my aspects, the dark grey one.]

Character description:

Taniwha Okami: Male. Wears a black T-shirt with white letters on the back: “Laziest Dark Lord Ever Was Born”, which pretty much sums him up. Does not care much for canonical evil-overlording, it being too much like hard work, plus it gets in the way of the really important things, like conjuring beer and cuddly nature spirits. Has a rather low opinion of authority figures. Not evil, but can be dark and vengeful. Thinks Fudge and Voldemort are competing in who is a bigger prat. Likes conjuring beer and cuddly nature spirits. Flies a Hayabusa broom.

[Spica75]

Flies a Hayabusa broom.

[Té Rowan]

(May have been done before, somewhere, somewhen…)

SM/??? — Minako learns that the best way to circumvent/break Danburite’s curse is to get together with someone that knows nothing of love.

[Té Rowan]

At that point he could hand things over to Konatsu, who could stick a dagger into a deserving back without anybody noticing except the recipient.

Or sneak a drop or three of something in someone’s cup.

An unrelated idea except for Potterverse applicability:

A ward is erected such that breaking it causes the raising of a ‘blink ward’ (one that lasts for less than a second) that renders everyone of the ward breakers oh-so-sparkly in ultraviolet light.

[Té Rowan]

HP: Could this Harry be looping?

“If I have told you once, I have told you niner t’ousand times: Negative on the competing!”

[Té Rowan]

BtVS×KC: Faith Lehane meets fleet girl USS Massachusetts. Another five hundred rules added to the KC skippy-list?

[Spica75]

BtVS×KC: Faith Lehane meets fleet girl USS Massachusetts. Another five hundred rules added to the KC skippy-list?

*ack*

Damn, i just cannot take KC seriously, at all...

[Ellen Kuhfeld]

BtVS×KC: Faith Lehane meets fleet girl USS Massachusetts. Another five hundred rules added to the KC skippy-list?

I know what BtVS means. I have NO idea of KC and "fleet girl USS Massachusetts". Enlighten, please?

[Té Rowan]

Sure.

KC is short for KanColle or Kantai Collection, also known as Fleet Girls. It is a Japanese game and (later) anime/manga. Monsters from the deep attack shores and shipping, and the only thing that works against them are reborn WW2 warships, naturally as cute girls.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kantai_Collection

Fans have expanded KC to crazy. USS Massachusetts (BB-59) is one of the fleet girls (or shipgirls) that have been written into the tale. USS Iowa (BB-61) is a canon addition, btw. P’yeknu has added various Canadians (he is Canadian, after all).

[Scooter]

(May have been done before, somewhere, somewhen…)

SM/??? — Minako learns that the best way to circumvent/break Danburite’s curse is to get together with someone that knows nothing of love.

SM/50 Shades?

[Té Rowan]

(shrugs) Who knows…

LH×??? (inc. KC): I have seen the Hinata House placed near the Yokosuka base. I presume base personnel there should be used to being bombarded with Keitaros.

[Té Rowan]

Nicked (in part) from someone else:

The Senshi meet a woman carrying a large ice box on her back and introducing herself as “Barge, Refrigerated, Large… or you can just call me Beryl.”

For the record, the BRL (aka the Ice Cream Barge) did exist. It was a US Army reefer barge, of which three were built.
http://forum.axishistory.com/viewtopic.php?t=196396
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concrete_ship

(And, no, I do not really know what a ‘rawkluddy’ is. I just woke up with that word in my head. I think, though, that it is Abyssalian for boy/girlfriend or significant other.)