Fics that need to be terminated with extreme prejudice

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Fics that need to be terminated with extreme prejudice

Postby Dumbledork » Tue Jul 07, 2015 3:25 am

This thread is inspired by a similar thread over at the Fanfiction Forum. In this thread you can list sotries that you think are really bad and explain what's so crappy about them. I'll start with one I discovered today.

'Harry Potter - Three to Backstep ' by Sinyk


ATTFF - A blend of the Reptilia28 and CoastalFirebird time travel challenges; Harry, Hermione and Daphne Greengrass die during the final battle and are sent back in time to set things back on track. AD/MW/RW/GW!bash. Rated M for themes and language. AU!world OOC!chars. Expect 450k words.
Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Adventure - [Daphne G., Harry P., Hermione G.] Sirius B. - Chapters: 48 - Words: 458,251 - Reviews: 4,432 - Favs: 4,651 - Follows: 6,147 - Updated: 17h ago - Published: Oct 19, 2014


I didn't really have any big expectations when reading the summary, but seeing the unreal amount of reviews I tried to give it a chance... Bad move. VERY bad move.

Right at the start he lists the two challenges he combines for this story. Both are totally retarded and full of the usual shitty clichés in shitty fics.

Here's a list:

Well, no I won't list them since every single line in each of the challenges is a cliché in itself.

So, let's get to the story. I only managed to finish the first half of the first chapter, but here's some of the horrible garbage that appears in just that small part:

- Harry dies against Voldemort for the upteenth time and gets reprimanded by his very own Grim Reaper (and yes, there are a lot of Grim Reapers since Saint Peter doesn't have the time to take care of everyone) for once again dieing without fulfilling his destiny. And he's even more annoyed that he has to explain the whole thing each time Harry dies since he always forgets everything when he gets sent back. And why is the Reaper annoyed? Because he risks losing his job if Harry doesn't succeed

Then out of nowhere he announces that Harry has two soulmates: Hermione and Daphne. Personally, I hate the clichéd idea of soulmates. To me that's just an excuse authors use to avoid having to come up with a plausible reason for the characters to fall in love. It makes things so much easier since it's obviously destiny (and shitty storytelling) that bring the characters together.

Then the Reaper tells Harry how everything should have happened: after his parents' death Harry should have been raised by Sirius and trained by Remus and Dumbledore, become one of the most powerful wizards in Brittain (of course), meet one of his soulmates in his first year, be emancipated as a result of being chosen for the Triwizard championship, seriously wound Riddle after his resurrection, capture Pettigrew, announce Voldemort's return, get a seat on the Wizengamot, destroy the horcruxes with the goblins, marry one of his soulmates, have children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren (quite a programme, don't you think?).

Then he lists things that shouldn't have happened (and that's where's the bashing starts, but I have to admit I expected it since it was announced in the summary).

Dumbledore shouldn't have taken him to the Dursleys, as the bad treatments damaged his magic.

Dumbledore is pretty much described as an idiot who is responsible for the rift between the houses and for so many Slytherins joining voldemort. And then the Grim Reaper says it's good Dumbledore died since he would have been a thorn in Harry's side for his political career.

And that's when the usual Weasley bashing starts... and he doesn't come up with one single original idea. First, it's always the same Weasley's that get bashed: Ronald, Ginny, and Molly (the other Weasleys are pretty much saints).

Here's a list of the clichés I noticed right away:

- Molly's plan for Ginny, ever since her birth, was for her to marry Harry Potter

- She herself only married Arthur because of his connection to the Black Family, as he she hoped to get her hands on all their money

- and she does this through love potions (since the beginning and still today)

- then the author lists Ron's shortcomings (which are the usual ones you find in basfics: jealousy, lazines, bigotry, expects everything to be handed to him on a silver platter due to him being a pureblood,... he doesn't leave a single one out)

- Then there's the cliché I've seen used more and more often in fics (probably because no one had ever noticed this problem before): Molly says the number of the platform nine and three quarters at the station out loud enough for Harry to hear. Apparently she had expected Harry to be there and have no idea how to get to the platform

What a criminal mastermind that woman!

The Reaper has even counted the number of times Molly must have been to the platform (102 times) to show that there was no reason for her to say the number out loud.

Then he gets back to the love potions, calling Molly even by the title of 'Potions Queen' (yeah right) and lists every foul deed she's done (making her probably the second most evil person in the fic after Voldemort, and maybe Albus, but I haven't read that far)
She brewed a loyalty potion keyed to Ron so that Harry would befriend him.

When Harry became friends with Hermione she ordered Ron to make sure to drive a wedge between the two so that they don't fall in love with each other and for him to try and keep Harry away from every other girl.

Later when Ron and Harry had a falling out she handed Ron an even stronger loyalty potion.

Then she used a love potion on Hermione to have her fall in love with Ron and one on Harry to have him fall in love with Ginny.

Then she brewed some revulsion potions which she gave to Ginny who then used them on Hermione, Daphne, and Cho.

During the Horcrux hunt, when Ron ran out of potions he ran back to his mother for more, proving that he was a willing participant in all of this right from the start.

What made me stop reading more of the story was the next part.

At one points Ron told Harry that Hermion was killed (which was a lie). Apparently to avoid having her follow Harry to fight against Riddle he stunned her, bound her, and stuffed her into the back of a broom closet under a notice-me-not charm. Then he hit Harry with a compulsion to charm to make him run out into the forest on a suicide mission to fight Tom.

His plan was to have Harry out of the way so that he could play the loving friend and 'be there for' Hermione in her grief for Harry (What a bastard).

After that I couldn't go on. The sheer stupidity of this whole story... I don't even have the words to describe how awful this garbage is.

My advice: stay away from that crap. How he managed to get 4,432 reviews I'll never understand.
And that's the bottom line 'cause Dumbledork said so.

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Re: Fics that need to be terminated with extreme prejudice

Postby Spica75 » Tue Jul 07, 2015 4:40 am

:mrgreen:

I actually have that one on alert... Yeah it draws on the bad old bunch of bashmaterial, (which btw i generally detest), but there´s at least a modicum of decent writing and thought behind the story, at least as far as i´ve read it, i´m probably a fair number of chapters behind at the moment.

No, it´s never going to end up as a favorite of any kind, but it does have some good sides, even if it is far longer than is probably healthy for the story(but that seems to be standard for the writer).

I can definitely say i have seen far far FAAAR worse, at the very least.
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