Elemental senshi

For submitting and talking about story ideas, individual scenes that need doctoring, outlines, or other detail work that isn't quite ready for the C&C thread.

Idea submissions must be at least five paragraphs long, and include plot points, summaries of which characters are involved, and, for fanfiction, how it differs from canon. Both original and fanfiction ideas welcome. Though original works should have more development. Replying posts must give actual commentary, no "GREAT IDEA" or "THIS SUCKS".

Elemental senshi

Postby Moridin » Sat Feb 09, 2013 6:11 pm

not sure if this is the right place to put this, or even if people will like the premise. will give background and more ideas for plot lines if asked. if it seems like a wall of text and hard to read, i can go over it to break it up a bit more.

Ten years before the ascension of Queen Serenity of the Moon, later Empress of the Lunarian Empire, a dimensional vortex opened in a back alley area of the Moons biggest space dock. This vortex spat out a confused and surprised four year old girl. The girl hit the ground hard and bounced into a wall, she shook her head trying to get rid of the stars dancing in her vision. “What the…..” wondered the girl noticing her female state for the first time. “I’m a girl, a young girl. I should be dead….odd,” she muttered to herself inspecting her tiny body. She pulled a strand of pitch black elbow length hair in front of herself. “At least I seem to just be a younger version of my female form,” she commented quietly to herself.

She slowly pushed her younger, weaker body upright and looked around, then looked up. Above her was not the blue sky she expected from most habitable worlds but the black of space, and taking up a good third of the view was a familiar blue-green planet. “Earth, I’m on the moon then. I don’t recognise the local tec either. Looks like some sort of crystal and a silvery metal that isn’t silver,” she extended what senses she had available in this young form and frowned at the level of ambient magic in the air. “My arrival was probably detected, time to go,” she stated and started to run, then noticed something else that would become a problem,her clothing was in such a state that she was virtually naked. “Might be able to do something with a focus, right now channelling any amount of power unaided would probably kill me.” she mumbled under her breath as she ran then frowned, “now there’s an idea,”

She ran around a blind corner and right into the middle of a hidden dock, containing a pirate ship and a good forty members of the crew, including the captain. The dock was dimly lit, the ship was large about a hundred meters long, fifty meters high and thirty meters wide, it looked vaguely like a destroyer from the Homeworld game.
“Well, well, well what have we here boys. This child will make us good money on the slave market,” sneered the captain drawing a green energy sword and conjuring a ball of lighting in his off hand. “Get her!” the captain yelled as he flung his lighting ball at the girl hoping to incapacitate her. The girl disappeared in a blur and appeared a good ten feet to the left of where she was.
“Oh Kuso,” said the girl frowning, having expected to have moved further than that. A few more flickers and she gave up on that and started running back towards where she came from and the light area beyond.

“Get her, get her!” yelled the captain repeatedly. The others drew the energy swords of various colours and charged magic in their off hand and started running after the girl. Once they got close the girl turned around muttered something and threw her hand out, a blast of blue fire came from her hand. Six of the slavers were killed and another three burned badly, but it cost the girl a burnt hand from the attack. A few of them got close enough to cut her with their blades as they ran, she used the flicker technique to get away each time, but she still got cut up.

She went round another blind corner and was suddenly out in another large dock. A dock filled with a massive white ship shaped like a crescent moon, along with the Princess of the Moon and thirty of her guards. There was also a woman in the armour of the Sailor Senshi, guardians of the planets, the orange skirt and bow designated her as Sailor Venus. The guards dressed uniformly in black armour with the white crescent moon or full moon showing their rank, went immediately for their swords. Princess Serenity’s pale blue eyes went wide as the girl dressed in rags immediately hid behind the folds of her white dress. Quite a feat as her dress tucked under her chest and fell straight to the floor, flaring slightly at her hips.

“Help me!” whimpered the girl her green eyes wide with fear, from behind Serenity. Serenity was just about to ask what was wrong when the thirty or so remaining pirates/slavers surged into the dock. The reaction to this was both predictable and expected, battle commenced! Explosions sounded as magic blasts hit each other, Venus’ attack phrases filled the air over the sounds of men in close combat.

Despite the presence of a senshi the battle quickly went sour when the captain started summoning Youma. Youma are magical constructs that look vaguely like women but massively deformed and continue to exist by draining peoples life energy. The princess’ guard started dropping like flies from the onslaught of perhaps twenty Youma, despite their number and Venus’ greater magical power neither side was gaining an overwhelming advantage. After five minutes half of Serenity’s were dead or dying and Sailor Venus was starting to get overwhelmed by shear numbers.

The girl suddenly stepped in front of Serenity. A red orb clasped in each hand, both ignited by green flame.
“Come forth Bahamut, King of the Dragons, MegaFlare,” the girl whispered but clearly heard by all still alive. A great black dragon appeared above and behind the girl and Serenity a ball of white energy in its mouth. The ball fired forward impacting in the middle of the Pirates/Slavers and Youma, the ones closest to it were vaporised instantly, wiping out a good fifty percent of their forces the rest badly burned. Clearly in pain the girl stepped forward and spoke again, “Phoenix, being of life and fire, come forth to cleanse my foes, Rebirth Flame!” A great red-gold feathered bird appeared about the size of a T-rex. A huge flame of purifying magic swept across the dock, sweeping over Guards, Youma, Slavers/pirates and Sailor Venus without appearing to distinguish between them.

Once the flames dissipated the guards that had been killed were alive and well and their attackers were piles of ash on the floor. There was a loud noise as the two orbs in the girls hands shattered, the girl looked at the remains of the two orbs then pitched forward. She was bleeding heavily from multiple cuts and tears in her skin as the power she had channelled had tried to rip her apart.

“Rise-chan, we need to get her to a hospital as fast as possible,” said Serenity as she gently turned the girl onto her back and checked for a pulse. Serenity sighed in relief as she found a weak pulse and picked the girl up, ignoring the blood staining her formally white dress.
“But your mother…” started Rise aka Sailor Venus, before Serenity cut her off. Rise’s eyes went wide with shock.
“Mother can wait! This girl just saved our lives, I’m not going to let her die!” stated Serenity her eyes glowing slightly with anger, pulling the girl even closer to her.
“She almost got us killed, bringing those men to us!” growled Rise stepping towards Serenity, “This is probably a way to get close to you or the Queen and kill you”. A moment after she said that a loud noise of flesh on flesh indicated that Serenity had slapped Venus.

“I don’t have time for this, she is dying right now! Besides that magic she used was like nothing I’ve ever heard off,” Serenity almost shouted this at Rise, a slight wind being generated from her magical aura.
“Those things she summoned are like Youma!” retorted Rise getting close to Serenity trying to get at the girl in Serenity’s arms.
“I don’t CARE!!” yelled Serenity in Rise’s face and the next second Serenity vanished in a flash of white light and a burst of magical energy that flattened everyone within ten meters of her. Once they had shaken off the effects of Serenity’s impromptu disappearance the guard captain turned to Rise.
“Lady Venus what just happened? Where is the princess?” asked the guard captain confusion and panic evident in his voice and body language.
“I think she accidentally Teleported herself and that girl somewhere,” responded Rise turning towards the nearest communications centre intent on calling the Queen of the Moon to inform her of what had happened.

The same time in the Lunarvale Hospital the doctors and nurses there got a huge shock as the Princess of the moon and an unknown girl appeared in their hospital unconscious and covered in blood. “Get doctor Faris here now!” yelled a nurse as she checked the unconscious pair for injuries. She quickly determined that Serenity was only suffering from magical exhaustion and that the girl was close to death.
“What is it, what’s so urgent,” demanded the red-haired doctor Faris as she entered the room.
“Serenity-hime is magically exhausted. This unknown girl is barely alive, cuts, bruises and gashes in her skin from a magical overload. Probably internal injuries as well,” reported the nurse quickly as her fellow nurses levitated the girl and serenity towards a pair of privet rooms. Doctor Faris laid her hands on the unknown girl and scanned her with her magic. Faris’ brown eyes went wide.
“We need to get this girl into surgery right now!” yelled Faris obviously worried, she took control of the levitation spell on the girl and directed her towards the surgery rooms. “And someone inform the queen!” she yelled as she ran through the door, injured girl in front of her.

About half an hour later Queen Reiko of the Moon arrived at the Lunarvale hospital, along with Sailors Mercury and Mars. “Someone tell me what the hell is going on, right now!” demanded Queen Reiko furiously.
“We are not entirely sure, your majesty. The princess and an unknown girl teleported into the hospital unconscious. The princess was suffering from magical exhaustion and should be alright by tomorrow,” explained the nurse quickly and concisely hoping to appease the queen.
“And this unknown girl,” asked Sailor Mercury as coldly as one of her ice attacks, the blue haired queen of mercury having long since lost the warmth in her heart, with one exception.
“Forgive me you highness, the girl is still in surgery, its fortunate that she arrived when she did, even then its unlikely that she will survive,” replied the nurse tears in her eyes, “She has first degree burns on the left hand, several lacerations from swords, and some sort of power has ripped apart parts of her skin,”.
“How old is she,” whispered Mercury a crack appearing in her icy emotional armour.
“She appears to be three or four,” responded the nurse tears streaming from her eyes, she scrubbed angrily at them.

“Ami is only four,” whispered Mercury, “how could someone do this to a child,” she asked herself wrapping her arms around her body. After moment doctor Faris appeared from the door towards the surgery. “How is she?” demanded Mercury voice stressed with holding back emotion.
“Princess Serenity will be fine in a few hours,” responded Doc Faris assuming wrongly that Mercury was concerned for the princess. She quickly found herself held against a wall by her throat.
“Not the princess this girl!” Mercury practically yelled in her face. Mars’ hand on her arm was enough to get her to drop the doctor.
“She is in a coma, we don’t think she will wake, mostly due to the extent of her injuries. That said they started healing unexpectedly fast, faster than your senshi powers allow in fact. We don’t know what happened, but from the residue in her system she channelled enough magic to kill herself,” explained Doc Faris once she had managed to get her breath back from being pinned against the wall. A commotion attracted their attention to the door for Serenity’s private room. There stood princess Serenity in a hospital gown, having been changed out of her blood stained dress.

“She was running from some slavers back at the space port, she accidentally lead them to us. During the fight they started to summon Youma and pushed back the Guard and Venus. She stepped forward holding two orbs and summoned a huge Dragon, then a Phoenix. After the phoenix disappeared the orbs shattered and she passed out. I got into an argument with Venus about her and accidentally teleported us here,” explained Serenity tears filling her eyes as she explained what happened. “If we can’t find her parents I want to……look after her I guess,” she said breaking down crying on the floor. Immediately after was joined by her mother, Queen Reiko and Mercury.

“Serenity-hime, from what the doc said this girl almost killed herself performing those spells, the doc also said she’s in a coma,” stated Mercury trying to control her tears, coming close to crying since her husbands death not long after becoming pregnant with Ami.
“You mean?” asked Serenity frowning at Mercury.
“Either she didn’t know what doing what she did, did. or she knew and hoped it would kill her,” stated Mercury a couple of stray tears going down her cheeks.
“Why would she do that?” demanded Serenity sounding shocked and angry.
“The only way to know that, is to wait for her to wake up,” replied Queen Reiko stroking Serenity’s silvery hair.

Some six months later in the coma ward of Lunarvale hospital a four and a half year old girl lay in one of the beds. A frown creased her face and she shifted on the bed. Princess Serenity, Mercury and her daughter Ami were visiting, and started in shock at the girls movements. The girls movements became more and more erratic before she bolted up in bed, eyes wide and shouted at the top of her lungs. “WILLOW!! NOOOOOO” before she fell back onto the bed, curling up into a ball crying her eyes out. Ami hid behind her mother, Mercury, having never heard something so heart wrenchingly painful and started crying. Serenity moved to start comforting the girl wrapping her arms around the girl. Serenity was surprised when the girl practically buried herself in Serenity’s body. It took a while but the girl finally calmed down, she then looked around and frowned. “This is not heaven, perhaps hell, I did always hate hospitals,” she stated flatly. Serenity and Mercury flinched at this.

“Your not dead,” said Serenity so quiet it came out as a strained whisper. “What’s your name?” she asked reaching out to the young girls hand.
“Grey Claire, wasn’t always a girl thou. Think I am stuck like this till I hit sixteen or so, the power required to change would likely kill me,” replied the girl calmly. She looked contemplate about changing just to die.
“Why are you trying to die?” asked Serenity tears in her eyes, Mercury was openly crying now, scaring her daughter.
“Seems to be pointless, something is stopping me from actually dying. Probably same thing that sent me here as a young girl rather than let the forces of an unstable dimensional portal rip me apart. I lived four thousand years, mostly as a guy, then during a battle against a great darkness my wife, Willow, and daughter, Xion, where killed. My first attempt lead me to this world, second seems to have brought me here, wonder why,” explained Claire in a tone of voice no normal four year old would be able to pull off. It was so flat and devoid of emotion it was more like reading what had happened from a book,a book that was written by a guy that only heard second hand accounts.

“Both times you met Serenity-chan, perhaps your meant to have some sort of mother/daughter relationship with her?” theorised Mercury trying and mostly failing to calm Ami down.
“Wait, Serenity? As in Queen Serenity?” asked Claire looking at the young woman she was curled up against.
“Princess, my mothers the queen,” replied Serenity looking confused at Claire and wondering if it would effect how the girl would look at her.
“Interesting, the question is why this time period. I guess it doesn’t matter,” responded Claire, mostly to herself. A moment later a ball of energy manifested itself in the middle of the room, Mercury and Serenity immediately stood up and went on guard expecting some sort of attack. They also pulled the two younger girls behind them.

“Do not be afraid. I am Quintessence one of the seven magical elements of the universe. Claire, I am responsible for bringing you here, I’m also responsible for your current form,” came a voice from the sphere, it sounded slightly regretful but also vaguely hopeful for some reason.
“Magical elements?” wondered Mercury curiously, bringing the Mercury Computer to life scanning the entity in front of them.
“Earth, air, fire, water, light, shadow and quintessence,” stated Claire idly, it was common knowledge to her kind. She was pulling lightly on Serenity’s sleeve to try and get her to sit back down.
“How do you know that?” asked Serenity finally sitting back down, she pulled Claire back into her lap and was pleasantly surprised when the girl sighed contentedly.
“Being the longest lived of her kind its not surprising that she knows,” stated the energy orb before Claire could come up with some sort of answer. “I want her to become my Senshi,” it added after a pause.
“Claire-chan’s a little young don’t you think?” demanded Serenity, “besides she’s just been through a horrific experience,” she added wrapping her arms around Claire and looked down. Claire was looking up at Serenity’s face with something compared to awe and wonder on her face, along with happiness and no small amount of hope shinning in her eyes.

“Naturally she’s too young now, the Henshin rod will appear on her bed the day of her sixteenth birthday….or more the day her body turns sixteen, the fourth day of the fourth month, twelve Terran years from now,” replied the orb calmly as it had already thought of that. Serenity nodded and started idly stroking Claire’s hair and was surprised when the girl curled closer into her. Mercury noticed this behaviour and commented on it,
“Its strange, she’s acting more like a child every minute,” she said out loud and blushed in embarrassment when Serenity and Claire turn their face to look at her. “oops didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
“It’s a coping mechanism, a Chromethean’s mind will to some degree reflect their body. She’s still the same person he was,” explained the orb of energy quietly as Claire yawned and snuggled back into Serenity.

“Chromethean? What was she like before?” asked Mercury finally sitting down and pulling her own daughter onto her lap.
“The former I cannot answer, she will have to tell you in her own time. As for what she was like… calm, gentle, caring, loving, intelligent, extremely good at tactics and strategy, able to think outside the box and use linier and non-linier thinking to get to the right answer. That said in battle she was absolutely ruthless, master of the sword and many different kinds of magic, the one thing you never did was threaten her family,” answered the orb, “My time grows short, I will leave you now,” and it was gone in a flash of light and slight static discharge. The flash gathered Claire’s attention for a second before she looked at Mercury.

“What’s your real name, Senshi of Mercury?” she asked quietly some curiosity shining in her eyes.
“My name?” replied Mercury looking shocked for a moment, “Its Amatarasu” she answered then looked curiously at the surprise on the four year olds face.
“Amatarasu? Kinda ironic,” said Claire out loud.
“What do you mean?” asked Amatarasu.
“In the world I grew up in the Japanese pantheon had a Goddess called Amatarasu, she was the goddess of the sun,” explained Claire quickly.
“I get it, I suppose you must know a lot from other worlds?” Amatarasu said her natural curiosity coming out.
“Multi-verse,” replied Claire.
“Huh?” wondered Amatarasu and Serenity at once.
“The word you’re looking for is Multi-verse. Each world starts of at one point, overtime as things do or don’t happen a universe is made where that thing did not or did happen, that is a multi-verse. This is part of one Multi-verse, and there are perhaps millions of other ones out there,” explains Claire before yawning and snuggling further into Serenity and closing her eyes. “Tired,” she mumbled.

“Ok Sweetie, go to sleep,” Serenity whispered into the girls ear wrapping her arms around the child and stroking her back.
“Momma, if Senshi of Saturn is awake…I….wanna….meet….her,” said Claire as she fell asleep.
“Saturn? Why would she want to meet the Senshi of Silence?” Amatarasu asked looking panicked. Serenity having not noticed anything past Claire calling her momma finally looked up from the girl sleeping in her lap.
“Saturn? She was woken by accident. She’s the most hated and feared girl in the solar system. Are you sure she said Saturn,” demanded Serenity not really believing what Amatarasu was saying.
“I’m sure,” replied Amatarasu.
“Ok, when Claire-Chan’s settled into the palace we’ll bring Saturn to her,” replied Serenity.
“It’ll take six months,” stated Amatarasu.
“Then Six months it shall have to take, we should introduce her to Pluto around the same time,” said Serenity.
“As the princess commands,” replied Amatarasu as she stood up. Moments later Ami and Amatarasu had left the ward leaving Serenity and a sleeping four and a half year old.

Six months later Princess Claire Grey’s quarters of the lunar palace.
The Senshi of Saturn walked towards the door that blocked the entrance to Princess Serenity’s daughters quarters, not that the girl slept there that often. She was forced to make small steps no more than two foot a time, due the chains around her ankles. Her hands were also chained behind her back and to a belt going around the waist, and a collar designed to prevent her from using her powers was around her neck. She was also surrounded by a good dozen of the Lunarian Navy’s finest fighters.

To add insult to injury the Senshi of Pluto a woman with red eyes, elbow length green hair and brown almost black skin, walked freely beside her. Saturn considered her own appearance, shoulder length purple hair that was dirty and knotted, light purple eyes that were rimmed with red from crying and dirty skin. She felt out of place in the white stone palace, supposedly the heart of freedom and justice in the solar system. Saturn had known neither since she was awoken as Senshi of Saturn. They stopped in front of a pair of large wooden doors as one of the guards stepped up and knocked on the door. “Princess, now presenting the Senshi of Pluto and the Senshi of Saturn as requested Ma’am,” he stated loudly enough to hear through the doors. Saturn could hear the contempt in his voice for her.

“Bring them in,” replied the voice of a little girl, Saturn sighed another person wanting to have a go at her. The guard opened the door and Saturn gasped the room within was a mess, a long low table ran up the middle of the room covered in papers, down either side of it was a pair of sofas. They were all a earthly brown colour, well at least were you could see the table anyway. At the head of the table near a pair of double doors that opened out onto one of the palaces many balconies was a stone bowl with some sort of silver liquid swirling around within. And there on the balcony staring out over the palaces many gardens was a young girl of about five years old. She was dressed in the strangest thing, a black T-shirt and dark green trousers, this wasn’t what Saturn would expect a princess to wear.

“Thank you for bringing them to me, leave us,” the girl stated turning round, her dark green eyes going from sparkling happily to stone dead with obvious disgust and anger. Saturn figured the disgust and anger was for her. The guards knowing better than to disobey royalty stalled for a second before leaving the room and closing the door behind them.
“Hello Princess,” Pluto said still as insufferably calm as always.
“My name is Claire, and I can’t believe you let them do this,” she replied and gestured towards Saturn, “to a fellow Senshi,”.
“She is dangerous my princess,” stated Pluto, Saturn felt a moment of despair even her fellow Senshi thought she was a threat.
“Not to me she isn’t,” replied the Princess calmly. A moment after she picked up what appeared to be a stylized stick from the table and pointed it at Saturn. “Alohamoura.” she stated and a white beam shot at Saturn. To shocked to move Saturn let the light hit her, a moment after it did she felt her bonds come loose then fall off her.
“Huh? Wha?” Saturn wondered out loud as she rubbed her wrists.
“Bathroom’s over there, go get cleaned up ok?” replied Claire pointing briefly to a door a third of the way up the right hand wall.
“Thank you princess,” replied Saturn and she quickly moved into the bathroom before Pluto could recover from her shock.
“And its Claire-chan to you ok Saturn!” yelled Claire as the door started to close.
“I’m Saturn Claire-chan, my host is Hotaru,” Saturn yelled back just before it closed and she locked the door.

“Do you know what you’ve done?” demanded Pluto once the shock had worn off.
“Yes, she is no threat, certainly not to a Chromethean,” replied Claire manifesting her wings for a few seconds then banishing them before the power needed would hurt her.
“You really are one, the time gates said that was why they couldn’t track you,” stated Pluto quietly, she fell to a seat with a thud.
“I need that changed, the gates need to give a different reason as to why they can’t track me,” explained Claire, “for safety measures you understand?”
“Yes, of course I understand. My name’s Athena,” she replied before adding her name after a moment.
“Huh, that’s ironic,” mutters Claire after a second.
“How so?” asked Athena quietly.
“Roman goddess of wisdom and warfare, if you had a pet owl it’d be even better,” explains Claire quickly.
“Roman? I’ve never heard of them,” states Athena calmly.
“Were around about two thousand years before I was born, least in my home universe, might exist at some point in the future. You telling me you haven’t used the Time Gates to look at the future?” Claire replied curiosity shining through at the end.
“I watch the past and guard the time stream from attempts to manipulate it, I don’t look at the future,” explained Athena.
“That’s good, there is no future but what we make for ourselves,” stated Claire nodding her head.

“That’s true. You’re immortal?” Athena asked curiously.
“Yep, and when I turn twelve my blood will be potent enough to give other people immortality. Just one drop willingly given and unless killed you live forever,” replied Claire. Athena smiled at that, finally she might have a friend or friends that wont grow old and die on her.
“I need to get back to the Gates I’m afraid, is there anything else?” asked Athena getting up.
“I don’t know how much help it will be, but ask the Time Gates to get you a book called ‘The Art of War’ by Sun Tzu. Its probably the greatest tactics and strategy book of all time, we are going to need it when I become of age,” replied Claire calmly.
“You plan to lead us into a war?” Athena asks alarmed.
“First unify the solar system under the moons flag then the other local star systems, to try and bring peace to them. I imagine that the Sol system is far more stable than the other star systems out there,” explained Claire.
“Yes, that’s true, just remember,” started Athena before being interrupted by Claire.
“The road to Hell is paved with good intentions, yes I know. Goodbye Athena-chan,” she finished then said goodbye to Athena. Athena nodded once then exited the room and teleported back to the Gates of Time. Claire walks to the bathroom door and notices its locked. “Locked huh? Alohamoura,” a mutter to herself and an easy spell later equals one open door. She finds Saturn lying in the bath crying.

“You’re planning to use me as a weapon, right?” Saturn asked through her tears turning to look at Claire.
“No, I’m not. I got the technical plans for many weapons capable of destroying a planet stored in my head,” Claire replied quickly.
“Why?” asked Saturn.
“Why what?” responded Claire.
“Why don’t you fear me? Why don’t you hate me?” asked Saturn, plunging them into an uncomfortable silence.
“I’ve met people who can destroy planets before, I can do it myself once I’m older again. I will never fear you, and as long as you use your power responsibly I would never hurt you,” Claire replied after a few seconds.
“I see….. You don’t act like a five year old,” stated Saturn.

“I’m somewhat over four thousand years old Saturn, I’m not a kid. I’ve been accessing memories from before I was stuck in this form, I’ll be acting like a kid again in a few hours,” Claire explained.
“Claire, Sweetie, where are you?” came a feminine voice from the living room, Claire’s face lights up.
“In the bathroom Momma!” Claire shouts out the door.
“Are you decent?” came the voice again.
“I’m talking with Saturn, she’s in the bath,” replied Claire quickly. The door opened and in came Princess Serenity, Saturn starts panicking. “Momma!” yells Claire as she run into Serenity’s arms. The pair spend a moment cuddling and fussing over each other.
“What are you doing in my daughters bath, Senshi Saturn?” Serenity asked quietly.
“It was horrible, they had her in chains and it looked like she hadn’t been able to have a bath for ages momma,” explained Claire.
“So you let her go and made her have a bath, Claire?” asked Serenity looking down at her daughter.
“Uh huh,” replied Claire, “She wont hurt us Momma,” she added after a moment.

end so far.

the idea was my main OC in attempting to commit suicide -in a stupid manner- gets taken to the silver millennium era and turned into a four year old girl. then be adopted by the then princess Selene Serenity and become the first of a team of seven elemental senshi. that they would create an empire lasting for 1500 to 1800 years before the whole beryl thing happens. elemental senshi as follow's Quintessence (or energy) Claire Grey. Fire Taranee, Water Irma, Earth Cornelia, Air Hay Lin, light Wilhelmina, Shadow Elyon. I know I nicked their names from W.I.T.C.H but thinking of names is not one of my strong points.
Last edited by Moridin on Sat Feb 09, 2013 11:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Elemental senshi

Postby Spica75 » Sat Feb 09, 2013 11:09 pm

First of all, fix the wall of text problem. If you don´t break the text up into smaller parts, it´s annoying even to try reading it and wether it´s a good story or not, i cant even tell...
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Re: Elemental senshi

Postby Moridin » Sat Feb 09, 2013 11:46 pm

Spica75 wrote:First of all, fix the wall of text problem. If you don´t break the text up into smaller parts, it´s annoying even to try reading it and wether it´s a good story or not, i cant even tell...

ah sorry, is this better. guess I just got used to looking at it the way it was. a few of the books I read do the wall of text thing so it doesn't really bother me.
"No one here is exactly as they appear" G'Kar, Babylon 5.
"While your out there you can memorize the Babylon 5 mantra. Ivanova is always right, I will listen to Ivonava, I will do what Ivanova says, Ivanova is god." Susan Ivanova, Babylon 5
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Re: Elemental senshi

Postby Spokavriel » Sun Feb 10, 2013 12:26 am

The edit helped. Its not as bad in books because the page size is set. Also walls of text are always worse when backlit.
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