Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

For submitting and talking about story ideas, individual scenes that need doctoring, outlines, or other detail work that isn't quite ready for the C&C thread.

Idea submissions must be at least five paragraphs long, and include plot points, summaries of which characters are involved, and, for fanfiction, how it differs from canon. Both original and fanfiction ideas welcome. Though original works should have more development. Replying posts must give actual commentary, no "GREAT IDEA" or "THIS SUCKS".

Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby Ryu Gabriev » Wed Jan 30, 2013 8:36 am

Hey guys, I've been looking back on my previous chapters and saw some good places where I could flesh out the story even more. Here's my first attempt, from Chapter 2, Just after Slanessh's cameo. Please let me know if you notice anything wrong.
*****
Moments later, the Void mage-to-be and her familiar arrived in the classroom and took a pair of seats in the middle row seconds before the professor entered herself. She was a somewhat heavy-set person with a kindly face wearing a purple robe and matching witches’ hat. Her green eyes scanned the crowd of students with a smile. “I am Chevreuse the Red Clay, your teacher in Earth Magics. It gives me great joy to see the interesting new familiars summoned every spring.”

She turned her gaze to the youngest Valliere, who ducked her head in turn. “I understand your familiar is quite unique, Miss Valliere. You should do your best to make yourself worthy of such an interesting creature.”

The dude from another dimension smirked before raising his hand. “Actually Ma’am, that was me. The armor adds a couple o’ feet in height when I have the whole thing on.”

The professor blinked in confusion before continuing. “A-ah... at any rate, all of you should see now that descriptions of the familiar bond fall far short of reality. Believe me when I say that your magic has become much more powerful now that your affinity has been revealed and confirmed. Please refrain from casting any magic unless an instructor is present.”

The Texan chose at that moment to raise his hand again. “Professor, is the power-up due to the familiar itself or because the mage in question knows which element to focus on?”

The pinkette, the teacher, and the whole of the class just stared at the G-cyborg for a few moments like he was a mouse that had asked about physics. “What? I can’t ask questions about something that might help my mistress get better at this?”

Madam Chevreuse considered the logic in that, before just counting her blessings that someone had arrived with serious questions to ask. “Well young man, some theorize that the bond allows a transfer of power between the familiar and its master. This is countered, however, by the fact many mages that summon powerful familiars already were powerful to begin with. Miss Tabitha, for example, was considered a Triangle-class already before her dragon answered her call. So that lends credence to the Focusing Theory. But that doesn’t truly explain why a mage with a familiar is always more powerful than one without.”

Ryu crossed his arms in front of his chest and gave an expression of deep thought before continuing. “So something enhances the mage when the bond is formed. Maybe it has something to do with the combined willpower, or some kind of synergistic boost.”

The middle-aged professor was starting to like this commoner’s attitude towards knowledge and decided to help by bring the whole class into it, putting up the topic for debate. For a few minutes all the students dickered back and forth both theories and reasons for it, each trying to ‘prove’ their idea was right. At the end of it though, no one could really answer the question sufficiently until Louise of all people gave her attempt.

“It could simply be a combination of the two. Nothing of either idea cancels out the other, so both of them could play a part in how the bond works.” The Texan grinned and ruffled his little mistress’ hair much to her indignation.

“Of course, this assumes that you actually summon someone instead of hiring them beforehand somewhere.”

The whole class erupted into laughter as Louise and her familiar turned to the source of that little jab, a portly young man with short blond hair. “I cast the spell just like we were taught, he’s all that appeared!!”

“Don’t lie, Louise the Zero! I bet you couldn’t even cast ‘Summon Servant’ properly, could you?” The obese mage then joined the rest of the class in another bout of laughter before the dude from another dimension spoke up. “And if that were true, and she did hire me, why are you risking my wrath by insulting my employer like that?”

The whole class, including the professor, went silent at that allowing Ryu to continue. “Here’s how this goes, Butterball. Either Louise did summon me like she says, or she hired me to play her familiar to save face. Doesn’t matter since either way, I take offense to any slight on her honor and integrity. Where I come from, blood feuds have been started for less. So I ask again, why are you risking me throwing you out that window by making fun of my little mistress?”

Before the blond boy could utter out an answer, the tense moment was brought to a screeching halt as thick lumps of clay appeared in the mouths of both the G-cyborg and the jeering young noble. As they then hurried to remove the foul tasting material, Madam Chevreuse took back control of her class. “Young Mister Malicorne, accusing people of subverting the Summoning Ceremony and calling them ‘Zero’ is quite unacceptable. As for you, young man, while I appreciate you trying to defend your mistress’s honor and helping to get my student’s to consider magical theorem, I will have you banned from the classroom if another student is threatened like that again. Is that clear?”

The dude from another dimension finally managed to spit out the last of the clay blob before replying in a subdued tone. “Understood, ma’am. I’ll...I’ll keep myself in check."
****

How's it look?
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby DCG » Fri Feb 01, 2013 8:38 am

Well writen, good flow. Was amusing.

No clue at all about the over all story line, but this was a good scene. It's rather nice to see a teacher on the ball in that setting.
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby Ryu Gabriev » Fri Feb 01, 2013 10:59 am

Finally, some response! Thank you for that, was exactly the sort of info I needed.

Don't worry about not getting the full storyline, no one on this board really seems interested in the tale. Some know about GaoGaiGar, others know about Zero no Tsukaima, no one here knows of both. *shrugs*
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby Spokavriel » Fri Feb 01, 2013 1:11 pm

And I sadly don't know either one so being someone who talks too much everywhere else ... Sorry I haven't felt I am qualified to critique it.
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby Ryu Gabriev » Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:05 am

Spokavriel wrote: And I sadly don't know either one so being someone who talks too much everywhere else ... Sorry I haven't felt I am qualified to critique it.


I'm used to it. All I really hope for here is knowing the quality of the scenes themselves as I make them. Part of me is hoping that what I do might be enough to get someone to research either series so that they become fans too. That's how I found many of my favorites.
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby ckosacranoid » Sat Feb 02, 2013 1:07 am

for some werid reason because of this forum i have become a fan of zero, i have not watched any eps of the show at all or really done any looking into the show at all. I have been collecting some really cool crossover fics for that series that i have read and really liked. I do like the scene that you posted, its amsuing to see someone show a way not to blow up the classroom for that day where every other fic does just that. the texes dude does sound fun though for who ever he is. I am trying to place the 2nd anime that you listed. for some reason i think i might be mixing it up with something else. The one i am thinking about is about gaint robots and a 16 year old girl getting married to an older guy who works for the goverment as a pilot and then she starts training also to stand at his side to fight the bad guys with her own robot....
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby PCHeintz72 » Sat Feb 02, 2013 1:47 am

Don't worry about not getting the full storyline, no one on this board really seems interested in the tale. Some know about GaoGaiGar, others know about Zero no Tsukaima, no one here knows of both. *shrugs*

I've *heard* of GaoGaiGar, but not seen it. I got a bit turned off by the descriptions. checking the opening and ome scenes did not do much for me.

for some werid reason because of this forum i have become a fan of zero, i have not watched any eps of the show at all or really done any looking into the show at all. I have been collecting some really cool crossover fics for that series that i have read and really liked.

I *have* seen all 4 seasons of Zero no Tsukaima (Familiar of Zero), though I have not read any of the visual novels... My understanding is the Louise/Sato relationship is completely different in that vs. the Anime.

While I actually like the setting and some characters, the series has some serious drawbacks to me liking it overall. Main turnoff is the character of Louise. Without a lot of work on the part of a fanfiction author, there is IMHO nothing to like. She is worse than Akane (Ranma), and Naru (Love Hina) put together. One scene has her beating on and whipping Sato with a Riding crop, and forcing his beaten and bloody form to sign in blood a document preventing him from looking at other women.
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby Ryu Gabriev » Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:29 am

I don't think it's in blood, but the rest is absolutely true. For me Louise has her moments but yea, definite planning in the works to knock the bitch outta her. Made some strides that way already.
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby Ryu Gabriev » Tue Feb 05, 2013 5:17 pm

Here's the previously unknown beginning to my story. Lemme know if it looks alright, ok?
*****
Just another day with nothing interesting to do. Might as well dust off that story idea I was working on.

Moving to my computer desk I load up Firefox and hit the Ol’ Google Docs to get started. Which should I work on, ‘Slayers Galaxy’ or ‘Prince of Braves’ ?

After thinking about it for a second, I slid the mouse cursor toward the newer of the two ideas and opened up the file.

The Prince of Braves.

An SI I had been fine tuning for the better part of six months, I came up with the idea during one trip to the little Plasma Clinic I frequented for my small cash flow. Jobs weren’t that easy to come by in the summer of 2010, so it was either drain vital bodily fluids or knuckle down to work on the house repairs that my folks wanted me to do for them. In the end, I figured it was easier to lose water through blood rather than sweat it out in the Texas heat.

I wasn’t real pleased with the finale of GaoGaiGar FINAL, what with the GGG left stranded in a slowly collapsing ES Window and no way out for them; so I did what any true kid in an adult’s body would do, try to help them out somehow. The idea then quickly evolved into an SI given that my current life like any other geek’s, was amazingly boring. Many, many times I wished for some sort of excitement to happen, knowing full well what I was asking for and hoping for it all the same. What was the point of living if you didn’t risk it once in awhile?!

Anyway, what I had come up with sounded something like this: After Kaidou and Mamoru had both been sent on their way the GGG weren’t just gonna lay down and die, so they tried to see if they could get a message out of the ES window to regular space. They manage it, just not in their home dimension, savvy? The message, in the form of a fragment of G-Crystal, reaches our Earth and is quickly discovered by the American Government. Experimentation reveals the abilities contained within the Infinite Information Circuit, along with plans, messages and coordinates to the ES window so that the other side can attempt a rescue.

But the type of person that could resonate with the fragment is hard to come by, so state-by-state members of the committee assigned to uncover the G-Crystal’s secrets, a group soon calling themselves G-Command, head out to see if anyone from the population can get the stone to work. As this is an SI, when they reach the Lone Star State, they find me, Ryu Gabriev!

That’s not really my name, Lord Knows I wish it was. But with the whole madness from ID thieves all about an alias seemed prudent to make for this tale.

Anyway, I somehow manage to get the little rock from space to pump out more energy than anyone else so far, so I’m asked to help them out with a little ‘experiment’. That’s when it all goes a bit sour. During the experiment, which would prove ES Space exists by harmonizing a section of our space to match thus forming an opening, the equipment malfunctions slightly and emits waves that harmonize with my bone structure instead, shattering my entire skeleton into powder.

After the accident, the research scientists use some of the plans on the crystal fragment to craft a special bionic skeleton for me. Once the surgery is complete, they reveal the nature of the experiment, and wonder if I may be willing to assist them still, despite the accident. I agree, and the research commences...only to be derailed by something else.

An armada from space suddenly makes it’s appearance, attacking several major cities around the globe. Calling themselves the Krix’ar, they demand Earth’s surrender, and begin sending attack craft to the surface when we refuse. G-Command quickly uses the crystal to develop a weapon to fight the invaders, but since supplies are scarce, they can’t build a Giant Robot. Instead, they scale it down.

The 3-G Variable Terrain Assault Armor. My version of GaoGaiGar.

What would it take to be someone like that, I wonder? Someone who could actually inspire others to do good in the world by example? An actual hero, for the modern age? I stretched in my computer chair before adjusting my posture for more comfort as I continued to look at the lines of text before me. I sighed before shaking my head to clear it of the mental clutter. Only in stories am I ever gonna see any kind of action like that. I leaned back in the chair, closed my eyes, and tucked my arms underneath my head so I could relax more comfortably.

Moments later, an odd sound cut through the air behind me, causing me to turn my head upside down to look. A bright, green oval, of all things, was in the space between my chair and my bed. Responding to that Curious George instinct I never could get rid of, I reached out from my position to touch it. It shimmered like a pond, before it opened like a mouth and grabbed my hand.

My seat was knocked to the floor as the oval pulled me inside itself, and I began falling through an unknown chaotic space.
****
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby Ryu Gabriev » Wed Feb 13, 2013 10:38 pm

Here's another. Also, the new scenes are working, more people are actually reading the whole of the chapters now! Your help has made this possible!
*****
“Ugh...I’ll be the first admit how effective that is for keeping kids under control, but now I’ll be tasting mud for days.” Ryu ran a finger along the inside of his mouth hoping to find the last remnants of clay somewhere within as Louise and he walked towards the field where the other second year students were getting to know their familiars.

“It serves you right, after threatening Malicorne like that, what were you thinking?!” She continued walking, even as a small voice in her mind started talking back, causing her to smile slightly. ‘It was nice though, someone actually standing up for me like that, instead of just laughing like the rest.’ Louise then grimaced again. ‘I-I-It’s still embarrassing! A familiar should be seen and not heard, especially if that is what it would otherwise do.’

The mage-in-training then smiled once more, then switched back to grimacing. She would’ve probably continued this pattern had the cause of it not noticed what she was doing and decided to speak up. “Louise, if you keep making faces like that, you’re gonna run out.”

The pinkette shrieked in surprise before stammering out a reply. “Tha-th-That’s none of your concern! Firstly, why are you trying to ask complex questions about magic? You might as well ask a peasant to learn court etiquette for all the good it would do. It’s useless knowledge to someone like you!”

The young noblewoman stomped forward for a few more steps before she noticed her familiar wasn’t following her any more. Turning back around, Louise noticed a firm, serious expression settle over his face. “There is no such thing as useless knowledge, Louise de La Valliere.”

The G-cyborg then closed the distance between them and stopped, staring her straight in the eye. “Before my armor, before magic, before any weapon or tool at mankind’s disposal... is the Human Brain.” Ryu pointed a finger straight at his temple. “It is this lump of wrinkled neurons that is singularly capable of outperforming any known power, provided it’s owner takes the time to learn.”

He then crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I’ll be the first to admit I can’t use magic. But just because I can’t make a fireball, doesn’t mean I can’t make use of the mechanics magic has to operate under. Take mages themselves as an example. Yes, the elements they can command are formidable, but only if they have their wand can they use them at all. That little flaw right there can give a commoner the edge he needs to make it a much more fair fight, just get the wand out of their hand.”

Taking a step back, the Texan continued. “If you know how something works, you can alter, magnify, or defeat it’s effectiveness by simply doing the right thing to it. That’s why I asked about the familiar bond we have together. If we can figure out why a mage’s magic is enhanced after getting a familiar, then we might be able to take it further. Perhaps even giving you the control to do everything the other kids can do, savvy?”

Ryu gave a parting wink to his little mistress and was about to continue walking to their destination, when a sultry voice entered the conversation. “My, my. Such a loyal commoner you managed to hire, Valliere. Or do you still claim that you summoned him?”

Both mistress and familiar turned to the source of the voice to find the redhead from the other day staring back at them, with a large red lizard next to her that a flame on the end of it’s tail. “Under all that armor, it really is a human isn’t it?”

The dude from another dimension held a neutral look. “Last time I checked, Miss.”

The redhead’s eyes roamed up and down Ryu’s body a few times, before she all but slinked up to the human familiar and stage whispered in his ear. “Whatever her family is paying you, mine can easily double that, perhaps more.”

The pinkette quickly started fuming over that comment silently before the Texan chuckled and moved to Louise’s side. “Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t break a contract just because someone else can bring a bigger bid.”

He placed an arm around his little mistress, making sure that the runes on his left hand could be easily seen. “Especially when the contract is so...binding.

The young mage-in-training flushed at how her current position looked before delivering an elbow deep into her familiar’s gut. “That’s enough barking out of you! E-e-e-e-escort me to the dining area already!”

Coughing slightly, the G-cyborg nodded and started walking. “Right Boss, I think it was this way.”

“I’m your Master, not Boss!”

The two started bickering lightly as they walked away, leaving the Germanian beauty with her thoughts. ‘Hmm...He might be fun to play with, after all.’
*****
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby Ryu Gabriev » Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:09 am

Finally got this one done. Now I can focus on advancing the story again. Lemme know how it looks.
****
Once everything had finally quieted down, all the students and faculty that were uninjured tried to turn in for the evening and figure out what to feed the gossip mill the next day. But for Kirche, her thoughts and dreams were taking a much darker turn. To cold, hidden chambers. Cages without warmth or escape. And abuse and suffering at the hands of one that held the face of someone she had started to like more than most.

With a start the Germanian jerked awake in her bed, before once again cursing her father and brother for telling her of what could happen to noblewomen who couldn’t protect themselves properly. At the time it had been the most effective way for them to get her interested in strategy and tactics, but now the memories were perfect nightmare fuel.

Looking about her room made her feel even more alone and uncomfortable than she could deal with, so the busty beauty wrapped her lingerie-clad form in a bedsheet and left the confines of her quarters. Moments later she reached the room of her closest friend, Tabitha. “I hope she isn’t sleeping too deeply.”

She rapped her knuckles lightly on the door, and waited for a few moments. Then she repeated the gesture with a bit more force. Finally, no longer caring if she woke up the whole floor, the redheaded mage gave the wooden barricade several loud hits.

‘Did she put Silence on the door again?’ Kirche waited a few moments more before sighing and wrapping the sheet around herself tighter. “Now what?”

The busty beauty was about to just give up and head back to her room, when she happened to glance out the nearby hall window that gave a direct view of the central tower. Where the Infirmary was... and where he currently was.

A tiny smile found its way onto her face. “Well, I suppose I do owe him an apology for that earlier mishap.”

Her resolve affirmed, Kirche hurried off towards the main tower, moments before a certain blue haired girl opened her door, looked around twice, then shut it again.

Moments later, she made her way into the medical wing of the tower, moving towards the one dimly lit partition in the whole room. The redhead pulled back the closed curtain to see her target watching over the Z-, er, Louise. “May I come in?”

The Texan’s head turned to face her slowly, before speaking in a whisper. “Hey Kirche... come in if you want, but keep it at low volume okay?”

The busty beauty giggled, before whispering herself. “Alright then. How is Louise doing?”

“She’s sawing logs like a mill. I guess going Super Saiyan’ll really take it outta ya...” The Texan chuckled as Kirche tried puzzling out that term. “I mean her transformation. Not that I’m complaining, I just never believed that was even possible.”

“I know, it’s amazing. I thought only elves could cast magic without a wand, but she was using that amazing spell of hers with abandon, wasn’t she?”

The dude from another dimension gave off a little shudder remembering that level of power. “Yea. Crusher Spark. Pretty good name.” A moment later, Ryu continued speaking. “So what’s the bed sheet for? The night too chilly for you?”

The Germanian blinked before giving a rather saucy smirk as she slowly, sexily, tantalizingly revealed her lingerie clad form from underneath the bed cloth. She giggled to herself as her target lost hold of his senses, his eyes widening to the size of saucers. ‘I should feel bad at how simple it is to befuddle men.’

As she stood there enjoying the feel of the G-cyborg’s eyes on her, the flame haired mage’s thoughts suddenly stopped as a slight mumble escaped his lips and reached her ears. “...Ooooro-ro-ro...”

A squeak suddenly came from the young woman, then another. Finally at the third one, her composure cracked and she started giggling merrily. This also had the added effect of breaking the spell on Ryu’s brain, allowing him to come back to lucidity.

The dude from another dimension quickly tried to calm Kirche down. “Ok, ok. I know the ‘oro’ is a hit, but Louise is sleeping right now.”

The busty beauty clutched her sides as another fit of giggles fell upon her. ‘Note to self: Ruruoni Kenshin reference is good icebreaker.’

As her laughter was starting to get louder Ryu finally stood and closed the distance, clamping a hand over Kirche’s mouth to get her to stop. “Kirche, I’m glad I could make you laugh but if Louise wakes up now she’s gonna see you and I’ll never feel the end of it, so to speak.”

There was a mirthful look in her light brown eyes as the Germanian nodded in understanding. Once the G-cyborg’s hand was removed, she continued in a whisper. “So you can fight off armored madmen, but run in fear of a slip of a girl?”

The Texan smirked. “Little girl she may be, but she’s got a mean elbow thrust.”

Kirche grinned at the reply, before gaining a serious look to her face. “While we’re on the note of our uninvited guest tonight, I feel I should thank you for your timely rescue of me... as well as apologize for my reaction to your age, it was uncalled for a noblewoman of my standing to react in such a manner to something so silly.”

Ryu blinked twice, before letting a smile cross his face. “That’s ok. I’m used to people being shocked at how old I actually am.”

The busty beauty’s mood became slightly better as she continued speaking. “Then may I ask something of you tonight? With everything that happened and almost happened earlier, I’ve been left feeling somewhat... vulnerable. Might I rest with you so that I can finally sleep? Tabitha’s sealed her room again and my other ‘friends’ might get the wrong impression as to what I wanted of them.”

The Texan blanched slightly at those words. On the one hand, he didn’t think obliging her would keep him in his little mistress’ good graces, and she would obviously take it as a sign of something else. Add to that his total confusion of women in general, something he never could get much of a handle on before or after the invasion, and you had the Brain advocating a solid NO. But on the other hand, the G-cyborg was the consummate nice guy who felt bad about denying someone anything if it was clear that he could be of help. Bolstering that was his protective instinct for people he knew in a friendly light and the guilty thought of having a very lovely lady snuggled up next to him in repose.

No choice at all, really.

“Well...alright. But I’m only doing this ‘cause you need a teddy bear tonight. And you’re helping keep Louise off my back if she finds us in the morning.” With that, Ryu stood up and moved out into the hall with his pretty guest right behind. Thankfully, the bed next door was vacant allowing the human familiar to still be close to his partner and still perform the duty he had agreed to tonight. Kirche followed behind, the bed sheet she had covered herself with bundled up in her arms.

But as the whole of what was to come registered in his mind, Ryu started feeling nervous. “S-so. I guess I’ll just take one side and you take the other, sounds fair.”

With that he plopped down on the far side of the bed and shut his eyes, only to have them fly open once again as he felt the flame-haired mage begin to settle at his right side. Ryu jerked his body further to the left only to succeed in rolling clean off the bed and collapse on the floor. The busty beauty peered over the side asking if he was okay, to which the Texan gave a incoherent reply. “Why did you suddenly jump out of bed like I had stabbed you?”

“Well, you see... it’s like this...” Was all the G-cyborg managed to say before an embarrassed flush came over his face.

Then she realized it, the Texan had the same look she had seen on a few of her lovers before she found out how inexperienced they were with a woman’s body. Grinning slightly, she spoke. “You’ve never had a lover, have you Sir Ryu?”

All the dude from another dimension could do was nod slowly, and the Germanian let off a joyous squee in her mind. ‘Oh Thank you, Founder! Such a powerful warrior, and I get to break him in! No no...calm down, Kirche. If you jump him now, he’ll never trust you again. A wild stallion like this needs to get used to you before you take him out of the stable. Slow and gentle, just like before. Ohhh, this will be so much fun!’

Plans confirmed, Kirche gave off a gentle smile before reaching down with her left hand to take hold of Ryu’s right one. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We aren’t making love, just holding each other so we can relax, right?”

Still somewhat flustered, the Texan allowed himself to be guided back to the bed and laid down on his back before the flame-haired mage slowly tucked herself in on his right side. “See? Nothing bad is happening. No need to be nervous at all.”

Indeed, the dude from another dimension felt his nerves start to settle. “You seem oddly experienced with talking guys down from a panic attack.”

She giggled. “Well, it wouldn’t do to have a jumpy... what did you call it? Teddy Bear?”

“A sort of stuffed toy animal back where I’m from. Usually, it’s the first thing kids think of when they want something to cuddle at night.” The G-cyborg let out a sigh as some thoughts of his old home came back to him. “Hope everything’s alright.”

The two of them pulled Kirche’s bed cloth over themselves, and soon after, fell asleep.
****
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby ckosacranoid » Thu Mar 28, 2013 12:04 am

where can i find the rest of the chapters? you seem to have a few things missing to catch up on with whats going on. cool story though and how old is the virgin hero anyway?
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby Ryu Gabriev » Thu Mar 28, 2013 4:50 am

All the chapters thus far finished are on my FF.net account: 'Ryu Gabriev' in the search bar should get you there.

Also, to anyone who's read these scenes yet don't feel that the can contribute: Just take the scene as it is and comment on that. My editor and beta are aware if I'm doing the continuities right, but it helps me to know if my writing form is good or not. Does it make you want to read more? Do you feel bored by the characters? Is it too linear or simplistic? I must fine tune my skills so that I can make this into a skill-set worth having, but I can't rely on my own perceptions. Just like a chef can't rely on his taste buds alone, savvy? :)
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby ckosacranoid » Thu Mar 28, 2013 8:27 pm

Thanks.
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Re: Bigger scenes, for bigger appetites!

Postby Ryu Gabriev » Fri Mar 29, 2013 1:40 am

No problem. Glad to have made something you enjoy.
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