Retconning YDiA: hentacle monster, begone!

[Cheb]

So I was having a conversation with the staff of the Spacebattles board. They convinced me to get rid of that disgusting thing, so I went and started retconning!

Da link: http://ranmafics.ru/fanfics/your_destin ... etcon2016/

For now, only chapters 1, 2 and 3 are finished. While 1 and 3 are merely reshuffling of old material, 2 is 75% new, with a different demon and different battle. It's even more brutal now, with innocent people dying. Please review!

[Cheb]

Chapter 4 (the same index page link). I was planning to add/replace 40% leaving at least 60% of the old material. But they were working together like styrofoam and acetone. I ended up rewriting 90%.

So, it's an almost new chapter with a desperate battle in it.

Please review.

[Cheb]

Chapter 5 (the same index page link).

Again ended up rewriting 60%. This one took a lot out of me, I was feeling like Sisyphus.
As JSDF is involved this time, our favorite team from the "GATE" anime makes a cameo appearance.

I am satisfied. The enemy is not a depraved rapist anymore. He is the kind of guy who, after reading "Agony in Pink", would say "Not bad, but there's too much sex for my tastes".

Now all I have is bend facts and reactions in the next 5 chapters to match the new reality.

Also, this and previous chapters contain one catch-phrase each from one awesome game (early access available on Steam) Which game? Which phrases?

[Cheb]

Completed.

The old version ceased to exist, link to the new version: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11828499/1 ... s-Annulled

[Spica75]

On my "to read" list now... Zero promises when i get around to it though.