Kasumi Moving On

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Kasumi Moving On

Postby Blackcat101 » Mon Mar 09, 2015 7:57 pm

Summary: Ranma disappears, Kasumi adopts a kitten and leaves Nerima to find to her own destiny. But just because Kasumi left Nerima, it doesn't mean things will be normal for her.

Title: Kasumi Moving On
Category: Anime/Manga » Crossover » Ranma 1/2 & Several Animes
Author: Blackcat101
Rating: Rated: T
Genre: Adventure/Humor.

Chapter 1 - Tsunami's guardian

Kasumi heard a cat growl, and as quick as her legs could take her, ran into Akane's room, only to find a sad looking cat staring at a mirror. It was just kitten, with reddish-orange fur and white paws. She quickly picked it up and examined it looking for injuries. "Oh, you are a girl, aren't you?" She remembered when she was younger and had a cat, so she was able to tell the difference.

The kitten yowled piteously.. Kasumi found herself wanting to take care of the feline for some reason.

"Oh, are you hungry? Do you want fish?" Kasumi took the cat to the kitchen and fed it some fish. Soon the feline looked happier. Kasumi picked her up and started to pet her.

"Look, Kitten... You can't stay here. Wherever Ranma is, he'll freak out as soon as he sees you. And there's a general rule around the house that we can't have a pet cat... Not that you're not the sweetest little thing." Kasumi half-gushed, the kitten purring as she stroked it's head.

Akane entered the kitchen at that point, glaring at Kasumi, who was continuing to enjoy the furry visitor. "KASUMI!" Akane snapped, "You know the house rules..."

"But... but... It's being cute! How can I just turn something this adorable out into the street again..." Kasumi moaned, "It's obviously a stray, it doesn't have a collar..."

"We can't afford a cat. Mainly since the big one called Ranma will wreck the place when he goes feral." Akane sighed, pinching her nose, "Talking about Ranma, where is he?"

"Maybe he already fled due to the cat." Kasumi offered, both Akane and, somehow, the cat looking to the ceiling.

"We are not keeping it." Akane dictated slowly, "Ranma will be back, and he'll want it gone..."

=^!!^=

Kasumi walked along with a box containing the cat, having headed out once breakfast was over. The feline meowed unhappily, apparently not liking being in the box.

"Cat names, cat names..." Kasumi muttered, as she walked into a pet shop, and came out later with a small backpack, which the still unnamed cat was sticking her head out of the top of, until Kasumi pushed it back down, only for the stubborn feline to have her head popping back up. Kasumi pushed the head down again, only for the cat to find some fish that had been got along with the bag.

"Bad kitty! The fish is for later." Kasumi said in a serious tone as she watched the cat poking her head out the bag while holding a fish , she really needed to think a name for it. But… why did she want to keep the feline so bad?

The cat looked at her confused, probably not understanding why she was mad at her.

"I am sorry kitty, it's my fault, I should have stored the fish someplace else."

=^!!^=

Kasumi walked back home, into her room, while avoiding everyone. The elder Tendo sister put the backpack down and let the kitty out. Then took a dog bowl, or in this case cat bowl, and put the rest of the fish in it. The orange cat went and ate it happily, then Kasumi smiled. "Oh... you are just such a cute female kitten... now if I just could think what should I name you?" Kasumi sat on her bed, she did not know why she was doing it, sure the kitten was adorable, but she should not be keeping it. Then she stared at the little cat and smiled.

The feline looked at Kasumi while she ate her food, a curious expression on her adorable face, then it made an angry face.

Kasumi then started to pet her, "Hmm, Aki? Maybe Botan?" Kasumi did not mind that those were popular girl names, her kitty deserved a pretty name, since she was such a wonderful kitten.

Nabiki knocked Kasumi door, "Come in." Kasumi said and continued to pet and feed her kitty. Nabiki entered and looked at her sister, she opened her mouth to say something but Kasumi pouted, upon the power of Kasumi's pout, the ice Queen of Fukiran high said nothing save a quick bow and said "Excuse me." and quickly left before saying something that would make Kasumi pout again.

"I think Botan fits you."

=^!!^=

Since Kasumi found and adopted her kitten Botan, things had quickly changed. For some reason, Ranma was gone, and with just a few pouts and glares to her family, the eldest Tendo sister was able to keep the orange cat. Both Genma and the amazons had left looking for Ranma, Nabiki had gone to glaring at her adorable kitty to just accept with resignation that the feline was here to stay.

Then, having more free time, without the usual mess that having the Saotomes around caused, she finally got time to study and take the entrance exams to Todai, and if that was not weird enough, she passed! It was like Neko-chan was her personal living Maneki-Neko. Kasumi felt guilty that her happiness depended on Ranma having left, but she had given her family so much, was it so bad to think on herself for once?

"I'm worried about Father, Botan-chan..." Kasumi sighed as they sat down, getting out a newspaper, "But, a girl can't get to Todai, as a housewife..." Botan looked at her with a confused face, then Kasumi gave her kitten a comforting smile and petted her. "Don't worry my little Botan, you are coming with me."

And to think all of that had happened in just a week! It was strange that once Genma had left no one had objected to using the house guest room to Botan's litterbox and bed. Once she moved out the cat will have to endure having a smaller place, but it could not be helped.

=^!!^=

Kasumi was quite surprised that her father had not only allowed her to go to Todai, but actually insisted on her going. She worried how Akane was acting without Ranma around, especially since the fights to 'date Akane' had resumed without the pigtailed martial artist around.

Well, there was the option of just moving Akane to another school, but the only option that would really work for her, an all girls school, cost money they did not have.
"I've wanted to continue my education ever since Mother died. I was considered the respectable one out of Father's daughters. Straight-A Student, that's what westerners call it..." Kasumi told Botan, "But... Father was insistent. He's getting old, and, well..."

Nabiki… her moral compass had been wrong before Ranma arrived, and time had only made it worse She would have to do something about both of her sisters if she left, since she was literally the glue that held her family together.

Kasumi sighed even more that she had before. "I know you can't exactly tell anyone, but Nabiki said for me to not rock the boat with one thing..." she stated, "I'd considered putting my foot down and reminding Nabiki it was one of the Tendos, the contract never stated which..."

Kasumi then got her mobile phone, while Botan continued to stare her with a curious expression, and called a number she’d not wanted to call at all. "Hello,, Is that Mizumi? This is Tsunami.... remember what we talked before? Yes, I will owe you a favor, I decided to do it."

Mizumi was a some kind of disciplinarian, like Hinako, only that while Hinako focused on keeping control during school hours, Mizumi went the extra mile to find out why students caused trouble and try to fix it even if she had to do it after school hours. The problem was that the young woman was quite violent, she had to be, considering the type of students she dealt with. She could also move some strings to get both Akane and Nabiki a scholarship at St. Bacchus School for Girls. That would mean Kasumi would owe her a favor, but she had until after she graduated from Todai to do it.

Kasumi then picked up Botan and put her inside the cat carrier. She then picked her bag with clothes put and the carrier, and left the house.

Then a black car approached….

=^!!^=

Kasumi walked away out the house, her kitten looking at everything with cat like curiosity. Her cell phone rang with a cheerful tune, it was the theme of a videogame about a robot unicorn chasing his dreams.

"“Ah, Mizumi… how did they take it? Wait... you are not hurting my sisters much, aren't you? Ah... That's better. Think you can arrange for therapy and counseling for them too? Good, I leave them in your capable hands.”

Kasumi stopped in front of the train station then looked at a piece of paper. “OK, We take the train, then go to admissions, get our room, and hopefully Mizumi will learn to get along with my sisters without having to discipline them much…”

=^!!^=

Traveling by train was something Kasumi liked to do, mostly because it was not something she did everyday, plus sometimes she would find one of her few friends during a train ride and talk a bit.

But this time she did not talk with anyone on the train, nor did any pervert tried to touch her, the last one who had tried had got a strange case of bad luck, strangely that had happened just after she got Botan, maybe her kitten was a Maneki-Neko after all.

Eventually, she arrived in Chiba and got out of the train, feeling a bit hungry. So she bought some food for Botan at a pet store, because this one was cheaper that the one near home. Then she headed for a Cafe for a cup of tea and took the chance to feed her precious kitten.

“I’m worried about whether it was a good idea to call Mizumi on my sisters… but then, is better that they get some tough love now, that get in jail later in life.” Kasumi said in a sad tone while changing the background picture of her cellphone to a new picture of Botan, “But I made my choice…”

Still, Nabiki had lived in Nerima all her life and always avoided danger, she would soon find out how dangerous Mizumi was, and not say or do something stupid. Akane would take a bit more work, but she would learn to respect Mizumi eventually.

“Kasumi! What brings you to pass through Nekomi?” A familiar voice called to her.

“Hello, Skuld! How’s your older sister?” kasumi asked the cheerful girl, why she and her sisters had those marks in the face Kasumi didn't know, but she was too polite to ask. What Kasumi did not know was that normal humans weren't supposed to see those marks, giving a hint that there was something strange about Kasumi besides the fact that she was too nice.

“She’s fine. I was just dealing with giving Loki and Bastet an earful for some drunken prank they did…” The girl named Skuld said, “Still haven’t figured out what, so… Anyway, What brings you through here?”

“Heading for Todai to get a medical degree…” Kasumi feel herself better after talking to her friend, maybe it was because of how lonely she was? Yes, leaving home was the right choice, even if it would never have happened if Ranma had not disappeared and Botan had not become her protector.

Her protector? That was a strange thought, even if Botan was actually giving her good luck, the kitten was too young and was the one that actually needed to be protected.

“Well, See you around… Bell misses your talks…” ‘Skuld’ stated, Kasumi nodded, Belldandy was like the twin sister she never had, but was if anything, even nicer than her. Or maybe Kasumi had never been around on the few times her friend got really angry.

"Goodbye Skuld-chan, and please try to not upset your big sister too much." Skuld was always trying to get Belldandy’s boyfriend to dump her, since she did not believe any man was good enough for her big sister.

Now Urd… Urd was fun. Kasumi had to focus to avoid blushing thinking about the time Urd had cracked her defences and took her out to a Bar. Urd was one of the few people who knew a lot of Kasumi’s secrets. One of them was that Kasumi got flirty when drunk, and that she actually enjoyed a lot of things girls her age did, and that clubbing was actually one thing she enjoyed a lot.

And… to Kasumi embarrassment, the drunk her flirted with both men… and women. The only good thing to come out of that was that she had got Urd to blush when she tried to kiss her. And she didn’t want to go into the fact she offered to give Skuld and Belldandy a good time.

Maybe that was why she would have been happy with Ranma… if she had not rejected him for being too young.

Skuld was just a little girl, weird… why was it then when she was drunk, she actually thought Skuld was older than she looked?

Thankfully, Skuld had left, so she did not see Kasumi's face turn red like a tomato.

=^!!^=

After a moment, Kasumi and Botan headed to take another train. Once inside the train, Kasumi feel nervous. Maybe she could call Bell-chan? She then hit the speed dial with her number . “Bell, Is that you?” Kasumi asked, calming herself, “I just met with Skuld… I’m heading for Tokyo University, to get that degree I wanted…”

Uh Oh, her friend wanted her to move over, that would not do, for many reasons.

“Yes, I understand that it wouldn’t be too bad to commute from Nekomi to Tokyo, but I’d rather not stay at the temple… That odd white-haired little girl that' looks a lot like Urd gives me the creeps…” It was Hild who had given the nickname 'Tsunami', she did not want to, but sometimes she used it since it felt right somehow. Also, Hild was just a little girl, no matter how EVIL she was, Kasumi should not think about punishing her… in a sexual way. Being in the same place with Urd, Hild and Skuld was a disaster in the making, all that was needed was some sake and…

Stop thinking about that!

“Why did she have to remind me of that incident?” Kasumi said aloud, her mask gone, “Botan, It would be terrible if someone found out that I was…”

Botan stared at her, did she just hiss? “A lesbian… or maybe is Bi? I still like guys...”

Oh, she needed ice, she needed a cold shower. She needed a receptive girl… No No!

“I wonder if that’s why Akane always was hitting boys and befriending girls?” Kasumi said, not noticing she was sharing her thoughts with anyone close by, then her mask was back.

“Next stop… Station for Todai University…” The automated announcement stated.

'Well, From now on, Kasumi Tendou is going to be a new woman. I hope my roommate isn’t a girl… I wouldn’t want to cause an incident.' Kasumi thought, picked up the carrier and went to collect her luggage. Of course it was gonna be a girl, sharing the same room with a boy was frowned upon. She was so doomed.

End of Chapter
Last edited by Blackcat101 on Tue Mar 10, 2015 11:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby Spica75 » Mon Mar 09, 2015 9:36 pm

The kitten have out a piteous yowl.

"let out" but i would rather change it to "The kitten yowled piteously.".

to the kitchen and feed it some fish.


"fed" not "feed".

Kasumi said in a serious as she watched


"serious tone".

"I am sorry kitty, is my fault


"it's my fault".

in this case cat bow


"bowl".

fish in it. the orange cat


"The".

I just could think how should I name


"what" instead of "how".

she opened her mouth to say anything but


"something" instead of "anything".

Kasumi felt guilty that her happiness depending in Ranma having left


"depended on".

guest room to Botan's litter tray and bed


"litterbox".

especially since the fights to 'date Akane' had resumed without the pigtailed martial artist around.


Did those ever really stop? (i´m uncertain)

and time had only got it worse.


"made it worse".

Multiple places: "owe a favor" not "own".

Good, I left them in your capable hands.”


"leave" not "left". Happening now vs having happened in past time.

in Chiba and gut out the train


"got out of", most definitely! :mrgreen:
I would love to see Kasumi gut a train though, should be funny. Gutting something essentially means taking its insides out.

bought some food for Boitan at a pet store


"Botan".

this one was cheaper that the one


"as this one was" or "because this one was" etc..

“She’s fine. I was just dealing with giving Loki and Bastet an earful for some drunken prank they did…”


:mrgreen:
Oh yes, nice prank!

even if it would have never happened


"even if it would never have happened".

Once aboard the train once inside the train


Doubled up...

She was so doomed.


Amusing... :twisted:



Interesting.
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby ckosacranoid » Mon Mar 09, 2015 11:36 pm

Kas willing to flirt and make a tree way with all the sisters? Wow, and even into lolis I see, boy she is goning to blow when she lets loose. Very cute story with how you hace her acting. The crossover with goddess is amusing though.
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby Wharpt » Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:46 pm

Belldandy and Kasumi in a lip-lock? I'd love to see that! :mrgreen:
I've the feeling that Botan is Ranma.
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby Blackcat101 » Mon Jul 06, 2015 10:29 am

Chapter 2 - The Sailor Suited Lesbian

Hotaru didn’t like how the results of the Galaxia incident had effectively erased Chibi-Moon from existence. Right now, she had the Silence Glaive in her wardrobe, and had mailed her transformation trinket to Setsuna in three pieces.

As she was finishing tidying her room, there was a knock at the door, and a brown-haired girl opened it “Oh my… My name is Kasumi Tendo, and we’re apparently going to be roommates…”

=^!!^=

Kasumi looked at the girl in front of her, she was slightly younger than her by a few years, but like certain girl that Kasumi did not know that it was a goddess, it have her the impression that she was actually older than she looked. Kasumi blinked, what? But she was not drunk!

"Oh my… My name is Kasumi Tendo, and we’re apparently going to be roommates…”

The reason for her saying "Oh My" was not because the girl was beautiful, even if she was, but because the black haired girl was just wearing her underwear when she opened the door.

"Hello my name is Hotaru Tomoe… Oh my gosh, thats a cute kitten!"

Hotaru, acting like half her physical age, then processed to gush about the kitten. Kasumi smiled, now being in familiar territory.

=^!!^=

Hotaru feel herself liking the older woman, plus she came with an adorable kitten to play with! She talked with Kasumi, explaining her interest in medicine, and what she could tell about herself that did not involve the Senshi. Then she was grateful that Kasumi did not seem offended by the fact Hotaru had been adopted by a pair of lesbians after her father passed away.

Kasumi watched as Botan sat on a pile of the black haired girl clothes, then she noticed something interesting about those clothes. It was a black version of an old style seifuku.

“What’s this cute outfit?” Kasumi asked after picking it up, she did not know her new roommate was into cosplaying, or maybe she was a goth?

“It was a present from a friend…” Hotaru stammered, blushing, “She… She’s passed away. Her and her father were in a plane accident…”

"Oh… sorry I asked. Was she your girlfriend?” Kasumi asked then mentally insulted herself for letting her tongue loose, what the hell was wrong with her?

The girl face blushed even more, thankfully Botan provided a much needed distraction by yawning loudly.

“Good point, Botan. I do feel tired…” Kasumi quickly said, “Mind if I use the shower first?”

Thankfully, it seemed Hotaru was distracted by the orange cat again, who curled into a ball and went to sleep over the rest of the black haired girl clothes.

Yes she needed a cool shower, and not to play in the shower, at least not while her roommate was inside the apartment.

=^!!^=

Hotaru sighed as she got ready for bed. She hadn’t expected a roommate, and this Kasumi seemed nice, and her cat was even more so. Except for the fact she’d fallen asleep on her bed rather than Kasumi’s.

She slipped on the lace slip that was her nightwear, before considering how to get the cat off her clothes and bed without disturbing her. After a very short attempt, she decided instead to help out Kasumi with her unpacking, taking out her clothes and putting them in the second wardrobe in the room.

She then heard the door to the shared bathroom, and looked towards Kasumi. “Can you please tell your cat that she’s sleeping on my bed?” She asked, sweetly.

=^!!^=

Kasumi smiled, and without saying nothing just gently picked the cat up and started to pet it. "I should have brought her a basket to sleep on."

The Eldest Tendo Daughter then watched as Hotaru put on a black lace teddy instead of pyjamas or a nightgown.

"Uh… you don't mind we watching you change?" Kasumi asked nervously

"We are both girls, and I did grew up with a pair of lesbians, so, not really."

Blushing, Kasumi decided to play along and changed into her sleepwear in front of Hotaru, after leaving Botan over her pillow. The kitten must be pretty tired to not have woken up yet.

Then Kasumi noticed her sleepwear consisted in a somewhat transparent nightgown… that she never remembered having bought or own.

Kasumi blushed, she had no clue how Hild did it, but she knew it was that little girl who had switched her clothes. Still she decided that yelling Hild name would just make her look crazy to her new roommate, so she said nothing.

"Well..." Hotaru said while looking over her roommate taste of clothes and how she seemed uncomfortable at being discovered having such tastes. "I think I will go to sleep now, I have a lot of things to do tomorrow."

"I think I will do the same, I had a very tiresome day." Kasumi wondered how she could get back at Hild for this, even if she somehow had got her exact sizes and the nightgown was actually very comfortable. But then she had been honest when she said she was tired, so she went to sleep in her bed, Botan sleep with her.

=^!!^=

Kasumi woke up with a headache, went to the bathroom and washed her face, then the eldest Tendou woman remembered she had not fully unpacked for some reason and went to get her toothbrush. For some reason Hotaru was singing, her voice was beautiful, it kind of reminded her of that time she and the other girls, including Ranma in girl form, had formed their own Pop music group named DoCo. They only got two disks out before everyone lost interest, but at least they got some money out of it.

Meanwhile, Hotaru picked Botan and placed her in front of a bowl of fish pieces, clearly off-cuts from the sushi she’d been preparing as part of breakfast.

“Did anything happen last night? I can’t remember much of last night…” Hotaru stated, “You and Kasumi arrived, we compared notes, you slept where you liked, we went to bed…”

Yes, that was all had happened, right? And why was she talking to a cat? Sure, she had talked with two cats regularly, but those were moon cats, not regular cats like Botan.

Then Kasumi opened one of the bedroom cupboards, looking for her bag. But a heavy looking polearm that screamed "Danger!" to her senses more than any martial artist she had even meet, including Happosai , almost fell into her.

"AHHH!" Kasumi screamed and she could almost swear the polearm 'moved' to avoid her, but at the price of leaving a tick hole in the cupboard. Botan rant into the room upon hearing the noise, The brown haired woman then saw Botan looking at her with worry and she picked the kitten and cuddled it.

“Whoops! Sorry about that!” Hotaru said after entering the room, then pushed the polearm away like it weighed almost nothing. Hotaru was wearing a t-shirt with the astrological symbol for Saturn on the front, and then, on the back, some joker had written, in japanese, “You can destroy youma. I can destroy an entire planet.” What was a youma? Did she got that from some anime or manga?

=^!!^=

Kasumi mentally counted to ten and relaxed, the polearm was weird, but not so much compared to what she was used in Nerima. Her roommate was probably a weird martial artist that specialized in using polearms, or considering how weird that thing looked, maybe some kind of demon hunter with a magical weapon.

"Are you okay?" Hotary asked looking worried

"Yes, you should be careful with that thing. Are you a martial artist?"

Hotaru thought about the wonders of saying the truth for almost two seconds then decided to go with it. "Yes."

"Oh, I thought you were a demon hunter."

"Actually… I usually just say martial artist because when I say demon hunter people think I am crazy." Hotaru feel better than she was saying something close to the truth. Plus, she probably could use some magic without transforming as long as she had her polearm around. Why not get a job as independent demon hunter? Even in the case her power was greatly reduced while using the staff alone, she had the power to destroy planets, using just 1% of that should be enough for most cases.

"Oh I get that, I used to live in Nerima and when I talk about the stuff that goes around there people think I am crazy or exaggerating."

After that the two young women bonded by talking about the weird stuff going in her life, Hotaru just had to change some words and tone down the things she had done. For example her father became a "possessed warlock", the Witches Five became cultists and Mistress 9 became "An evil spirit". Overall it felt good to talk with someone outside the senshi that could understand what she was going through. When it came to Chibi-Usa she just avoided mentioning time travel. and created a sad story about her moving back to the US with her possessive father and then dying in a plane accident to not contradict what she had told Kasumi before.

=^!!^=

Overall, besides her roommate being a demon hunter, and the fact that she keep finding sexy clothes on her size she had not packed in her room, the next few days were quite quiet for Kasumi.

The eldest Tendo sister then suspected Urd was involved, instead of Hild. Hild would have changed her clothes once as a prank, but Urd tended to be meddlesome in the love and sex life of others, and if the clothes were a hint, as least they were more subtle that what the tall bronze skinned woman with white hair usually did.

Sure, there was the nagging feeling that something had happened the first day they meet that Kasumi could not remember, but since Hotaru had not said anything about that, she dismissed it as something not important.

So it was not a big surprise for Kasumi when a weird blonde girl with twin pigtails appeared and demanded to see Hotaru about some family emergency.

"I am sorry, but Hotaru went out to the Higurashi Shrine in Tokyo to deal with a rampaging snake woman demon, if you want to leave her a message I will take notes." Without waiting for the blonde response, Kasumi took out pen and paper to take notes.

"What? She told you? But being a- kitten!" The blonde woman got distracted with Botan, who was biting her shoelaces, and then started to pet the cat.

"Demon hunter? Yes she told me about her having that job and that people usually think she is crazy when she mentions it."

"Demon Hunter? Well, we could call it that that."

"Well, unless you want to leave a message for her, I have to leave, I have classes in about an hour." Kasumi said, normally she was more polite, but preparing for her tests was not easy. Especially not when she keep having weird dreams involving her, female Ranma and Hotaru.
Yes she was quite sure that was not what was nagging her, whatever had happened it had just involved Hotaru and her, and maybe botan, not Ranma.

"Oh okay, this is my new Cell phone number. Please tell Hotaru to call me as soon as you can, okay?" The blonde said and left in a hurry.

Usagi had noticed the kitten glaring at her, and while it did not feel evil, it made her want to leave, maybe it was another moon cat? No, that would be silly, plus she was the moon princess, why would a moon cat… oh, she forgot to study again! Ami was gonna kill her!
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby Spica75 » Mon Jul 06, 2015 4:12 pm

*LOL* :D


but like certain girl that Kasumi did not know that it was a goddess, it have her the impression that she was actually older than she looked.


Not even sure what this means so you might want to take a good look at it.

black haired


"blackhaired". Otherwise you are potentially saying that she is black and hairy.

her sleepwear consisted in a somewhat transparent nightgown


"...consisted of a..."

Botan sleep with her


"sleeping".

any martial artist she had even meet,


"had ever met,".

Botan rant into


"ran".

Did she got that


"get".

and created a sad


"And created a sad...".

she keep finding sexy clothes on her size


"she kept finding sexy clothes in her size".

first day they meet that


"met".

could call it that that."


"could call it that."".

my new Cell phone number


"my new cellphone number".

Nice story so far.
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby Ellen Kuhfeld » Mon Jul 06, 2015 5:37 pm

You're telling a good story, clumsily. With a good beta reader, one who's willing to rewrite, this could be a winner.
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby Ryu Gabriev » Mon Jul 06, 2015 7:07 pm

Agreed.
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby Té Rowan » Tue Jul 07, 2015 5:34 am

Kasumi and Hotaru? With these two teamed up, 'crazy' will be yet another inadequate term.

Anyway, I would say 'black-haired' rather than 'black haired' or 'blackhaired'.
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby Spica75 » Tue Jul 07, 2015 11:32 am

Té Rowan wrote:Kasumi and Hotaru? With these two teamed up, 'crazy' will be yet another inadequate term.

Anyway, I would say 'black-haired' rather than 'black haired' or 'blackhaired'.


Why? For a more blatant example, compare to redhead vs red head(very obviously wrong). Noone writes red-head AFAIK.

Anyway, weird, i was going to see if i could get anything useful from some dictionaries, and the word isn´t there at all after checking several, that´s a first i think.

Interestingly, all dictionaries seem to agree on white-haired being the correct form.
While they nearly completely agree on redhead, with one single dictionary also allowing red-head.

So, that leaves us with no obvious or certain guideline and makes me wonder what word the dictionaries mean to use instead of blackhaired...

Closest i can find to a guideline is that "red-haired" also seems the preferred spelling, which would make your correction probably right.
No, strike that, your version is very likely the correct one, 9 dictionaries finally agree(strange though, when i searched one of them manually the word didn´t turn up, really weird ). Even if 9 out of several dozen is a bit low it´s still clearly the "normal" choice.

Bummer, means i have to autocorrect my internal English dictionary... :P
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby Blackcat101 » Tue Jul 07, 2015 11:56 am

Ellen Kuhfeld wrote:You're telling a good story, clumsily. With a good beta reader, one who's willing to rewrite, this could be a winner.


Beta readers don't grow on trees.
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby ckosacranoid » Tue Jul 07, 2015 10:22 pm

Dauther, the bet was to to kas into women, you over reached and made her fall for lolis.......bad urd, bad urd......now she going after skuld and some of the other girls inculding miss nerica child form.......
Hild to urd over this story bet.
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby Té Rowan » Wed Jul 08, 2015 7:58 am

Maybe my sense of language is queer.

“This fully-operational battlestation is fully operational…” AUUAH! AUUAH! “Battle stations, everyone!”
I go walking. My mind goes wandering.
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby Spica75 » Wed Jul 08, 2015 9:13 am

Té Rowan wrote:Maybe my sense of language is queer.

“This fully-operational battlestation is fully operational…” AUUAH! AUUAH! “Battle stations, everyone!”


:mrgreen:
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Re: Kasumi Moving On

Postby Blackcat101 » Wed Jul 15, 2015 3:52 pm

Still haven't found a beta reader for this -_-
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