Fate A Live [Fate Stay Night/Date A Live]

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Fate A Live [Fate Stay Night/Date A Live]

Postby Vahn » Wed Mar 26, 2014 9:51 pm

So, what I am looking for here is feedback on the fate stay night portion, is it plausible for the mages association to work together like that and does it kinda work?

Fate A Live

Chapter 1

+++ Different plane +++

Gaia also known as Earth, called Terra by some, was dying and humanity was the caused. There was a time they lived in harmony with one another, working together, they respected her and in turn she provided for all their needs.

But then, Humanity got greedy, they got violent, they take and destroy what they want or don't need. They hunt her children for sport, they were wasteful, spiteful, aggressive. She tried to show them the beauty of the world, does not her forest bring them air, does not the rain quench their thirst? Why then must they insist on consuming more then they can use , why must they use magecraft to poison her?

Why?

Even her best hope to curb humanity was all but gone, the Crimson Moon and it's children have failed her. They were suppose to bring balance back to her, to prevent them from going out of control but humanity even manage to poison them with their hatred and greed.

Was this it for her? Was this all for naught? Will she die this slow and agonizing death as they continued to crawl and consume her carcass for their greed? Does it matter anymore?

Alaya already betrayed her by siding with humanity, instead of working together as one she chose to work in the best interest of humanity. Selfish.

For a time, Gaia thoughts halted, unmoving as she accepted death. She was tired, maybe when she die humanity will die too. What a delicious irony that would be, that in killing her they killed themselves but they have proven to be resilient.

No. No. No. She will not die quietly.

Suddenly Gaia realized there was still one path to stopping humanity from killing her, to give her time to recover. She'll just need to exterminate them, once they are eradicated they can no longer harm her and over time she can recover to her previous state.

Gathering her Will, Gaia did something she have not done for a very long time. Create a Divine Spirit. Only this Spirit will be different, not single purpose like the Crimson Moon children nor like her previous divine beast. She will give them the ability to learn, to feel, to think but all toward one goal. The death of humanity.

***** 30 years ago, Border between Mongolia and China ****

Lord Bartlett, sniffed disdainfully at the gathering group here today. He was here as a representative of the Clocktower along of course with a small contingent of mages should he run into trouble.

Still whatever the Atlas Academy wanted it sounded urgent as even the bastards form the Sea of Estray here, a loosely affiliated coalition of mages, not on the scale of the Clocktower of course but then again, who was? Still he been waiting each side have brought a sizable force to bare at this summit meeting.

"Well?" Bartlett said bored. "Why are we here?"

"Waiting on the last group now." Kanzaki from the Atlas Academy said as he felt the final presences group arrive.

"The church?" Bartlett spat out in disgust. "What are they doing here?" He said pointing at the small group of priests' arriving.

"We would like to know the same." A strong chin man in his priestly robes said as he glared at Kanzaki.

"Good." Kanzaki said as he nodded and looked at the assembled group. "As you know the Atlas Academy mission have always been to preserve the world we live in." He started and watched as the other mages around him nodded.

"Yes your noble cause." Bartlett scoffed. A waste if there ever was one.

"We have found something that might be of interest to you all." Kanzaki said and saw the other mages interest pique.

"Oh and what would that be?" The church representative said with his arms folded against his chest.

"Here..take a moment and feel with your magi senses, don't this area feel different? Saturated with energy? " Kanzaki asked as wave his arm to encompassed the entire area.

Bartlett took a moment and felt around with his magi sense as instructed and to his surprised, felt that the very air around him charged up in response. This was not how it was suppose to be. "What -"

"What is this?" Orthora, a dark skin woman of the Sea of Estray asked. "It feels..overbearing..." She said as the feeling of stuffiness permeated the area. "Yet familiar somehow."

Kanzaki nodded and looked at the surrounding people. "I believe we are about to witness a momentous occasion." He said gesturing to the air around him.

"What are you talking about?" The Church representative asked.

"Don't you feel the heavy oppressive, the pained of the very earth itself?" Kanzaki said looking at the mages around him. "Gaia is about to give birth."

The news stunned every magi present. Gaia have not created any new mythical creature for quite some time. What was going on here?

"Then what do you want us to do about it?" Orthora asked. Already she looked to her apprentice, a younger man in his early twenties who was taking down the information.

"Capture the new Divine beast and study it." Kanzaki said. "The Atlas force by ourselves does not have enough strength to do it, that was why I requested additional help. Everyone will get a piece of it's carcass to study to their heart content."

The other magis around nodded in understanding. To capture and research a divine beast from Gaia, that would be wonderful a true boon to magi works everywhere.

"Ah, the moment comes." Kanzaki said he stared off in the distance.

Bartlett felt the area around him supercharged with power as a the sky seem to droop down toward the ground. "What?" He said as the mages looked on and witness the sight.

However the moment the blue of the sky touched the ground a black ball of energy formed and started spreading outward at an alarming pace.

The mages in attendance could not react in time as they were killed instantaneously. Of course the mages wasn't the only casualty as within minutes one hundred and fifty million humans was killed before they even knew what happened.

Gaia war with humanity have begun.

=====

This is a prologue at best before I jump into the main story but does it set it up plausibly?
Vahn
Chibi Sailor Senshi
Posts: 327
 

Re: Fate A Live [Fate Stay Night/Date A Live]

Postby Vahn » Thu Mar 27, 2014 12:41 pm

Second version: See the un -feminize version and see which one is more correct?

Fate A Live

Chapter 1

+++ Different plane +++

Gaia also known as Earth, called Terra by some, was dying and humanity was the caused. There was a time they, Gaia and Humanity, lived in harmony with one another, working together, they respected it and in turn it provided for all their needs.

But then, Humanity got greedy, they got violent, they take and destroy what they want or don't need. They hunt it's children for sport, they were wasteful, spiteful, aggressive. It tried to show them the beauty of the world, does not it forest bring them air, does not the rain quench their thirst? Why then must they insist on consuming more then they can use , why must they use magecraft to poison it?

Why?

Even it best hope to curb humanity was all but gone, the Crimson Moon and his children have failed Gaia. They were suppose to bring balance back to the planet, to prevent humanity from going out of control but humanity being who they are even manage to poison the Crimson mood children with their hatred and greed.

Was this it for Gaia? Was this all for naught? Will it die this slow and agonizing death as they continued to crawl and consume it carcass for their greed? Does it matter anymore?

Alaya already betrayed it by siding with humanity, instead of working together as one Alaya chose to work in the best interest of humanity. Selfish.

For a time, Gaia thoughts halted, unmoving as it accepted it's inevitable death. Gaia was tired, maybe when it die humanity will die too. What a delicious irony that would be, that in killing Gaia they killed themselves but humanity have proven to be resilient there was no guarantee they would die with the planet.

No. No. No. It will not die quietly.

Suddenly Gaia realized there was still one path to stopping humanity from killing it, to give her time to recover. Gaia just need to exterminate them, once they are eradicated they can no longer harm it and over time it should be able to return to it's previous state.

Gathering it's Will, Gaia did something she have not done for a very long time. Create a Divine Spirit. Only this Spirit will be different, not single purpose like the Crimson Moon children nor like it's previous creation the magical beast. It will give them the ability to learn, to feel, to think but all toward one goal. The death of humanity.

***** 30 years ago, Border between Mongolia and China ****

Lord Bartlett, sniffed disdainfully at the gathering group here today. He was here as a representative of the Clocktower along of course with a small contingent of mages should he run into trouble.

Still whatever the Atlas Academy wanted it sounded urgent as even the bastards form the Sea of Estray here, a loosely affiliated coalition of mages, not on the scale of the Clocktower of course but then again, who was? Still he been waiting each side have brought a sizable force to bare at this summit meeting.

"Well?" Bartlett said bored. "Why are we here?"

"Waiting on the last group now." Kanzaki from the Atlas Academy said as he felt the final presences group arrive.

"The church?" Bartlett spat out in disgust. "What are they doing here?" He said pointing at the small group of priests' arriving.

"We would like to know the same." A strong chin man in his priestly robes said as he glared at Kanzaki.

"Good." Kanzaki said as he nodded and looked at the assembled group. "As you know the Atlas Academy mission have always been to preserve the world we live in." He started and watched as the other mages around him nodded.

"Yes your noble cause." Bartlett scoffed. A waste if there ever was one.

"We have found something that might be of interest to you all." Kanzaki said and saw the other mages interest pique.

"Oh and what would that be?" The church representative said with his arms folded against his chest.

"Here..take a moment and feel with your magi senses, don't this area feel different? Saturated with energy? " Kanzaki asked as wave his arm to encompassed the entire area.

Bartlett took a moment and felt around with his magi sense as instructed and to his surprised, felt that the very air around him charged up in response. This was not how it was suppose to be. "What -"

"What is this?" Orthora, a dark skin woman of the Sea of Estray asked. "It feels..overbearing..." She said as the feeling of stuffiness permeated the area. "Yet familiar somehow."

Kanzaki nodded and looked at the surrounding people. "I believe we are about to witness a momentous occasion." He said gesturing to the air around him.

"What are you talking about?" The Church representative asked.

"Don't you feel the heavy oppressive, the pained of the very earth itself?" Kanzaki said looking at the mages around him. "Gaia is about to give birth."

The news stunned every magi present. Gaia have not created any new mythical creature for quite some time. What was going on here?

"Then what do you want us to do about it?" Orthora asked. Already she looked to her apprentice, a younger man in his early twenties who was taking down the information.

"Capture the new Divine beast and study it." Kanzaki said. "The Atlas force by ourselves does not have enough strength to do it, that was why I requested additional help. Everyone will get a piece of it's carcass to study to their heart content."

The other magis around nodded in understanding. To capture and research a divine beast from Gaia, that would be wonderful a true boon to magi works everywhere.

"Ah, the moment comes." Kanzaki said he stared off in the distance.

Bartlett felt the area around him supercharged with power as a the sky seem to droop down toward the ground. "What?" He said as the mages looked on and witness the sight.

However the moment the blue of the sky touched the ground a black ball of energy formed and started spreading outward at an alarming pace.

The mages in attendance could not react in time as they were killed instantaneously. Of course the mages wasn't the only casualty as within minutes one hundred and fifty million humans was killed before they even knew what happened.

Gaia war with humanity have begun.
Vahn
Chibi Sailor Senshi
Posts: 327
 


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