Crimson Hunter

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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Konsaki » Fri Jan 10, 2014 11:20 am

Blackcat101 wrote:Garp has NO REASON to do that...
Go complain to Oda about that, then, as this is what happens in the actual manga storyline.
Ranma thinks Luffy is just being a stupid boy and stops training him.
Uh... no.
If you want the reason Garp takes Luffy away, it's because he thinks Luffy could be a good influence on Ace and keep Luffy away from any more pirates which might continue to 'corrupt' him. If that doesn't make sense, it's because Garp makes stupid decisions.
If there are no changes, why have Luffy live with Ranma in the first place? Is the same island, Ranma and Luffy could just meet eatch other and become friends like little kids do.
Because just having Ranma there as a child isn't going to change a fifty year old man's plan for his grandson.
Ah right, he hates the nobles. oops.
It's not even shown that he hates the nobles until the Seaboady Archipelago arc when he witnesses the slavery.
At most Ranma would be bounty hunter like Zoro was.
That's the current plan, if you read my first post in this thread.
Actually, it would be way better if Luffy wasn't raised by Msriko and Luffy and Ranma just meet and became friends because they live on the same island.
Problem with that is, why was Luffy on the island in the first place? In the manga and the anime, when he's in Fuusha Village, he's always hanging out at Party's Bar, which Makino runs. He doesn't live with Daddan until after he eats the devil fruit and Shanks leaves for the Grand Line, so where does he live?
With this in mind, I chose to work everything in my favor by working a logical chain of events:
    Garp scouts out the island
    sees Ranma interested in Marine Sparing
    gives her the training book to start her out - giving an excuse as to how Ranma starts her training in this life until the memories fill in the rest
    finds out she and her mother lives there
    sends Luffy to live with them - Luffy is now there for the Devil Fruit and meeting Shanks, also driving point to become a pirate
    finds out that Pirates are corrupting Luffy
    removes Luffy from Fuusha village to live with Ace (his adopted grandson) - lets Luffy get to know Ace and Sabo, along with crazy training Garp now gives them for personal attention

That way you change canon even less, And Luffy could get trained by Ranma anyway.
Technically, I didn't change canon at all, since there's no official reason for Luffy to be there at the start of the story. If I also just had Ranma and Luffy just meet up, I'd have less reason for Ranma to train Luffy as he's just some kid and not her little brother.
Luffy is not someone who discriminates anyone based on gender or occupation, but the kind of person they are.
yeah, and?
Sure kid Luffy was way more serious than adult Luffy...
Are you sure you read the same manga as I did? :?
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Blackcat101 » Fri Jan 10, 2014 12:53 pm

Go complain to Oda about that, then, as this is what happens in the actual manga storyline.

That was because Garp only had the old thief to leave Luffy with, here he has Mariko, your argument makes no sense.

If you want the reason Garp takes Luffy away, it's because he thinks Luffy could be a good influence on Ace and keep Luffy away from any more pirates which might continue to 'corrupt' him. If that doesn't make sense, it's because Garp makes stupid decisions.

Is still the same island, Luffy would just run off to hang out with Ranma and Mariko.

Because just having Ranma there as a child isn't going to change a fifty year old man's plan for his grandson.

His plan was for Luffy to be a Marine, Garp only left Luffy with that old woman because he trusted her, since Mariko is not a criminal it makes more sense to just leave him with her. Garp is not a cruel man, he can perfectly keep training Luffy if he keeps being with Mariko. Only reason he would take him away is if if Mariko had an argument with him about how his training of Luffy was too cruel.

It's not even shown that he hates the nobles until the Seaboady Archipelago arc when he witnesses the slavery.

Actually you are forgetting the death of certain childhood friend that Lufffy had, a friend THAT WAS KILLED BY A NOBLE. Sabo, and yes I know he really doesn't die, but Luffy believes he did.

Problem with that is, why was Luffy on the island in the first place? In the manga and the anime, when he's in Fuusha Village, he's always hanging out at Party's Bar, which Makino runs. He doesn't live with Daddan until after he eats the devil fruit and Shanks leaves for the Grand Line, so where does he live?

For all we know, Fuusha Village is in the same island, in fact the wiki seems to conform this.

Foosha Village (literally meaning "Windmill Village") is a village that is located on Dawn Island and is part of Goa Kingdom. It is the first setting of the Romance Dawn Arc, and is where the story of One Piece starts from. According to the Colorwalk 1 East Blue map, it is located near the larger landmass close to the Red Line northeast of East Blue.

A prominent feature of this sleepy village is Mt. Colubo in the background. Several notable mountain bandits live in or around the mountain near the village, causing the occasional chaos to the villagers or assisting them as needed. The town appears to be rather unknown, thus the townsfolk are thrilled and proud that their town might be known for producing an infamous pirate. They are led by mayor Woop Slap who usually is against most ideas presented by the other townsfolk on pirates.

The town also has a local Sea Monster called Lord of the Coast. However, it is not as big as some of the sea monsters in the rest of the world and there is no indications it is as big of a problem as others of his kind may create. This monster is the reason why Shanks lost his left arm by saving Luffy.

Also about Dadan:

Curly Dadan is a friend of Monkey D. Garp and the foster mother of Portgas D. Ace and Monkey D. Luffy. Garp entrusted her to take care of Ace shortly after the boy's birth. Later, Garp also left Luffy in Dadan's care.Dadan lives on Mt. Colubo near Foosha Village. She is the Mt. Colubo mountain bandit boss of the Dadan Family and a wanted criminal. Dadan was first mentioned in the Post-Enies Lobby Arc, when Woop Slap read about Luffy and the Straw Hat Pirates waging war on the World Government.

Are you sure you read the same manga as I did? :?

Every time Luffy is aggressive with someone is because they give him a reason to. Kid Luffy acted the way he did because his grandfather training was brutal and sent him to live with bandits.
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Dumbledork » Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:52 pm

Awww. How cute.
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Konsaki » Sat Jan 11, 2014 12:19 am

Sitting down down next to a small campfire to see what she was doing, Ranma slowly slid the sharpening stone down her training saber. When her father had first taught her first swordsmanship lesson, months ago, he had stressed the importance of maintaining your weapons and tools. To reinforce this, he had told some stories of how a poorly maintained sword or rifle had broke at the exact worst time; sometimes costing the owner a limb or their life.

The redheaded girl had quickly found that she liked taking her time with sharpening her saber after a day of training. it was almost like a quiet meditation once you started, the peace and quiet allowing her to sort her thoughts. This night, her thoughts ran back over the major events in her life over the past month…

Letting out a sigh at the end of one swipe of the stone, she thought about her adopted little brother and the last foolish thing he’d done. Somehow, Shanks had acquired a devil fruit on his last expedition, an odd looking fruit which gave unbelievable powers to those who ate it. The problem was, the eater forever more becomes paralyzed by sea water… commonly called ‘anchors’ due to the relative high risk of drowning.

Of course, when no one was looking, Luffy had eaten said devil fruit out of ignorance.

Shaking her head as she continued her smooth even strokes of stone on metal, Ranma pondered what it would be like to have the new rubber powers her brother now had… she just didn’t know if the major weakness was worth it. Ranma loved to swim, was really good at it actually, and she’d hate to lose that, especially if she ever went out to sea. Also, considering how all the skill Luffy had gained in their joint training sessions became worthless, the strange stretching ability he now having thrown off all of his coordination, Ranma was pretty happy that it wasn’t her that ate the ‘Gumu Gumu no Mi’.

Flipping over the sword to start working on the other side, the martial artist sighed sadly. She actually missed training with her little brother but ever since he ate that devil fruit, the huge gap in skill and his lack of control made their spars a cakewalk for her to overwhelm the boy. Even before that, she’d had to turn him away when she was practicing with her sword, not having the skill yet required to train another person safely in it’s use or just wanting to spend some alone time with her father.

That’s partly the reason why she was out here on an overnight training trip, setting up camp in a sheepherder’s field around twelve kilometers outside of town. Something in her just yearned for it and it felt so familiar camping out under the stars after a long hike and evening working to improve her skills. Ranma was just thankful that her mother relented once her father had gotten involved. That was even more odd, the familiar feeling of her father pushing for her camping trip, especially since this was the first time it’d happened…

Flicking her eyes to the side, Ranma let out another breath of frustration. She couldn’t help but feel like something was missing and kept seeing a ghost out of the corner of her vision; a large man in white standing with his arms crossed, his face filled with mild pride. She knew him but… Ranma couldn’t place him more than that it felt like he should be there.

The redhead wiped a tear away with her sleeve and placed the new sharp and oiled saber back in it’s scabbard.

After placing another couple of small logs onto the dying fire, Ranma set about making her bed for the night. Spreading out the light sleeping bag just far away enough from the campfire that it wouldn’t catch fire, she took off her sandals and slid into the sack for the night. Folding her hands behind her head, the redhead looked up at the clear, twinkling stars overhead; picking out specific ones she remembered from a beginner’s astronomy book for navigation she was reading in her spare time.

‘Can’t wait to tell Luffy all about this…’ She thought, letting out a large yawn before turning over and falling asleep.

oO0Oo

“Shanks!”

“Hey, kiddo.” The redheaded captain lethargically responded, wincing slightly at the sound of the door to his room slamming open, his eyes slightly unfocused due to the painkillers the ships doctor had given him. “How’re you doing, kiddo?”

“Shanks… your arm…” Ranma lightly said, slowly advancing into the captain’s quarters on Shank’s ship and towards the reclining, healing pirate.

Glancing down to the wrapped up left shoulder where his arm had been tore off the day before, the girl’s father grinned weakly. “Yeah… I’ll live, though.”

“But… your sword arm…” The girl whispered in growing distress, glistening eyes locked on the clean freshly changed bandages.

Seeing the girl having a hard time of seeing him like this, he slowly picked himself up to a seated position and carefully wrapped his remaining arm around her. “I’ll be okay, don’t you worry. I don’t regret a thing.”

Ranma fought back the tears with a nod, something in her telling her to stand strong for her father. Maneuvering into the bed so he could lay back down while still keeping his arm around her, she quietly asked, “What happened? Luffy said he did this...”

All she knew is that as soon as Luffy laid eyes on her when she walked back into the tavern, he broke down into an emotional wreck. After tackling her and crying into her shirt, she was barely able to get out that Shanks had lost an arm and Luffy thought it was all his fault. The next thing she knew, she was standing outside the captain’s quarters on the ship.

Shanks let out a pained sigh as he closed his eyes. “This wasn’t your brother’s fault.” He stated, stressing the family ties she had with the adopted boy. “Some things happened and wound up saving Luffy from a sea king.”

“Idiot… your arm…” Ranma whispered out, sniffling back a tear.

“It’s just an arm… He’s worth more than me losing it.” He stated with conviction, rubbing the girl’s shoulder comfortingly with his remaining hand.

“Are you really going to be okay?” She asked worryingly, doubting his initial statement of condition.

Nodding with a yawn, the man confirmed with a tired voice, “Yeah, I’ll be okay. The doc said I’d be right as rain in a week, tops. I just need… to rest…”

Feeling her father’s breathing slow down to the rhythm of sleep, the crimson haired girl snuggled up closer to her father’s warmth and pulled the sheets up to cover them both. Ranma just laid there, listening to the comforting, steady heartbeat pulsing in his chest. Worried for her father’s condition but relieved that he saved Luffy, she eventually slowly drifted off to sleep…

oO0Oo

True to his word, Shanks was back and up on his feet in around five days, though only because the crew’s doctor ordered him to stay in bed two more days. Doc still wanted him to take it easy, so here he was three days later standing on the docks watching his crew inventorying and loading up supplies into the holds.

Seeing Lucky Roo pick up a barrel of limes nearby, the captain asked, “What’s our timetable look like?”

Rubbing his chubby chin with a hand while balancing the barrel on his shoulder, Roo looked over what was left to load. “Maybe fifteen minutes tops, Captain.”

“You’re really leaving?”

Hearing this question, Shanks turned about to see Luffy and Ranma standing there on the edge of the docks. Behind the children were Makino and Mayor Whoop Slap along with a smattering of curious villagers.

“Yeah, we need to set sail, Luffy.” Shanks confirmed with a nod and a grin. Patting his empty left shoulder, he added, “Doc says I’m healed up and the men are ready to hit the Grand Line.”

“Are you really going to be okay?” His blue eyed daughter asked in doubting concern.

Shanks smiled as he noticed Blazing Thunder strapped to her back, the standard sized saber too long to put on her hip like he would wear it. “I’m going to be fine, kiddo, don’t you worry.” Looking over the children, he gave Makino a silent nod goodbye, having already spent some alone time and assured her that he’d be sending some letters this time… under a fake name for his family’s safety.

Glancing back down towards the black haired boy before him, Shanks inquired with a raised brow, “Not going to try and join one last time?”

Shaking his head, Luffy stood as tall as his diminutive stature could. “No! I’m gonna make my own crew and it’s going to be even stronger than yours!”

Grinning at the proclamation, along with some of his surrounding crew, Shanks knelt down and transferred the straw hat from his crown to the boy’s head; pressing down slightly to make it fall over the child’s eyes. “Well, a pirate captain’s got to have a good hat when he starts out. Just keep it safe till we meet on the Grand Line, okay?”

Patting the hat as the boy nodded with silent tears, Shanks looked to his daughter again. “What about you? Going to make your own crew someday?”

Ranma shook her head, squaring her jaw and shoulders defiantly. “I’m gonna defend the weak and bring bad guys to justice!”

Shanks looked a little surprised at that, asking warily, “You’re going to join the Marines?”

Shaking her head again with vigor, sending her long braided hair flailing, Ranma proudly stated, “Not joining the Marines! I’m gonna hunt bad guys myself!” Pointing a finger at the man who was her father, she grinned widely. “So, you better be good!”

Laughing good naturedly, the redheaded pirate raised his only hand in a surrendering gesture. “I’ll be good! I’ll be good!” He cried out, much to the amusement of his surrounding crew and villagers. Smiling more warmly, he stated, “I hope to see you on the Grand Line too, someday. I’d like to see how strong you’ve gotten as a fighter and hunter.”

“We’re ready to set sail at your command, Captain.” Benn’s voice rolled out from the deck of the loaded frigate.

“Thanks, Benn.” Shanks called over his shoulder before giving a wave to the two children. “Well, we’re off to the Grand Line… See you there one day.”

“Bye, Dad…”

When the captain turned away and walked up the gangplank to his ship, he held one of the widest grins to grace his face. “All hands, set sail for the Grand Line!”

As the crew burst into action, commands and statuses being called out on the deck below, Shanks stood there on the half deck by the tall black haired first mate, the captain's chest puffed out with overwhelming pride. That two word whisper had made it to his ears, as if carried by the spirit of the winds itself just for him.

It was the first time she’d ever called him ‘Dad’.
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Dumbledork » Sat Jan 11, 2014 3:44 am

Heh. I had thought with Ranma there Shanks could Keep his arm. Oh well. Too bad for him.

Will there be a time skip like in the beginning of the manga or will you continue with the Luffy/Ace/Sabo Story arc.
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Konsaki » Sat Jan 11, 2014 4:48 am

Dumbledork wrote:Will there be a time skip like in the beginning of the manga or will you continue with the Luffy/Ace/Sabo Story arc.
Somewhere in between where he recruits Zoro and Ussop.
Current plan is to have Ranma bouncing around East Blue, capturing or killing bounties like Zoro did for a bit. I'm still trying to decide if Ranma'll get a partner or stay mostly solo till the Grand Line.
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Konsaki » Sat Jan 11, 2014 7:48 am

As for this chapter, I think I have only two sections left to write. I'm still going to be leaving out some of the things I had planned to include in the first chapter but I can just push them into the second chapter without any real loss.
My current plan has Ranma heading out mid to end of the second chapter, since I couldn't get to that point in the first. I'm already at 13k words as it is and, with the next two sections, I estimate that I'll be ending the chapter around 16k words.

This will be my largest opening chapter I've written, if not the largest chapter I've written period.
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby LawOhki » Sat Jan 11, 2014 10:24 am

Konsaki wrote:Somewhere in between where he recruits Zoro and Ussop.
Current plan is to have Ranma bouncing around East Blue, capturing or killing bounties like Zoro did for a bit. I'm still trying to decide if Ranma'll get a partner or stay mostly solo till the Grand Line.

What is the plan for that? Show Ranma capturing bounties? Usually that's only interesting if the bounties are.
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Konsaki » Sat Jan 11, 2014 4:49 pm

What is the plan for that? Show Ranma capturing bounties? Usually that's only interesting if the bounties are.
Yeah, this is going to be the hardest part to accomplish and I'll admit that I don't have this fleshed out yet.
I do want to focus more on Ranma exploring on her own, staying away from Luffy and his crew. I've seen too many crossovers where the cross in character is just a third wheel to the normal story. No thanks to that.
I've decided that Ranma will gather a team or something but won't be looking to create one. I just want it to sort of happen so that will feel simi-natural. Without the extra people/friends around, it'd probably get pretty old, pretty fast without that continual character interaction, but the specifics of the team are up in the air right now.
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Blackcat101 » Fri Jan 17, 2014 3:07 pm

Personally, since the next part won't be that different from the manga, you could skip to when Ranma leaves to be a Pirate hunter, maybe making her leave a few years before Luffy?

And about Ranma crew, how about someone smart and greedy like Nabiki and someone like Ryoga?

You don't even have to use the names Nabiki and Ryoga, they are just the counteparts in the One piece world.

"No, no way, absolutely not!" The green haired girl said. "You are not gonna waste out bounty to help some poor sap again."

"But Midori! He is gonna lose his house!" Ranma protested, it was funny, Ranma was way stronger than Midori, but Mirori always bossed her around. Maybe because Midori was good with money and organization, and Ranma was not.

"We are not charity, we are pirate hunters! And where the hell is Hiroshi? Did he got lost again?" Midori asked, that guy got lost so much she was thinking on getting him a dog leash or something.
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Konsaki » Wed Jan 29, 2014 4:40 pm

The last section isn't complete but I need to post it somewhere I can access during work. Feel free to comment on what's up, though.

327489p33789312789043217

Later that afternoon, Makino and her daughter were seated at a table in the tavern in contemplation. Luffy was still out running around town showing off his new hat and declaring how mighty a pirate he’d eventually become.

Taking a sip from the glass of water before her, the raven haired mother sighed. “It’s going to be a long while before we ever see him again.”

Swallowing the piece of carrot she was snacking on, Ranma nodded. “But he said he’d write, so… It’s not all bad, right?”

“It’s more than I got since the night you were made.” Makino mused, running a finger around the lip of her glass as she considered the past eight years of silence from the man before he just showed up on her doorstep out of the blue.

“Eww… Mama.” The scarlet haired girl recoiled in mild disgust, having already heard her parents having some ‘alone time’ and choosing to leave the tavern to escape it just a couple days prior.

“Don’t worry, you’ll understand one day.” Makino told her daughter with a smirk. ‘Just not anytime soon, I hope.’ She thought to herself instantly after.

After a small lull in the conversation, Makino asked with concern, “Honey, are you sure you want to be the best martial artist in the world? It’s going to be a really hard thing to do.” Seeing her daughter nod, mouth still full of another vegetable snack, Makino further asked, “Why is that?”

Washing the snack down with some water, Ranma stumbled out her reasoning, having trouble putting it into words. “It’s… what I’ve always wanted to be.” Looking down at her hands, she flexed them into fists. “I’ve always had dreams of being able to jump buildings, fighting dragons, swim oceans… and they’re so real, like I’ve done it before and I can do it again!”

“Honey…” The raven haired woman tenderly put her hand over one of her daughter’s fists. “I know you can be great at anything you put your mind to, but those are just dreams. I don’t want to see you hurt…”

“But they’re so real…” The crimson haired girl whispered, looking down to the table.

Makino just sighed, saddened to have to temper her daughter’s hopes with reality but knowing it was for the better. Really, she just wanted her daughter to be safe and happy…

oO0Oo

The ocean air was starting to turn chilly as October rolled in a few weeks later, causing the townsfolk of Fuusha village to start donning their long sleeved shirts or light jackets. Such was the case with Makino’s children as they walked back into the village proper. Each child had content smiles on their faces as they slowly finished off some cookies as they walked.

“Granny Weatherwax cookies are the best!” Luffy exclaimed happily, stuffing the last baked treat into his mouth with a pleased sound.

Ranma just nodded in agreement as she licked the tips of her fingers cleaned before wiping them on her dirty black pants. “Yeah! I love her apple-chip cookies!”

To the children, the sweets they received for the firewood collecting trip they performed for the elderly widow was just a great bonus. They had really done it as a form of strength training while helping the woman, loading themselves up with as many logs as they could carry while running back and forth from the woods.. As it was now, the woman wouldn’t need anymore for another week, much to her surprise.

Waving hello to a neighbor as they reached Party’s Bar, Ranma pushed open the swinging door and called out automatically, “Mama, we’re home!” She was quite surprised to see her mother seated at a table with Mayor Woop Slap and another old but huge man. “Hello, Mayor!”

Hearing the girl’s entrance, along with Luffy’s parroted greeting, the floppy hat wearing village elder waved and smiled back.

Ranma blinked her azure eyes; something was off with both the mayor’s and her mother’s smiles. She couldn’t put her finger on it but they seemed… strained somehow.

“We finished gathering wood for Granny Weatherwax and she gave us cookies!” Luffy proudly and loudly exclaimed, pushing up to stand slightly before his adopted sister, completely unaware of the emotional undercurrent that she had picked up.

Hearing the boy’s voice, the strange man stood out of the chair and turned around, causing the children to startle, though for entirely different reasons.

“You!” “Gramps!”

Ranma recognized the large white suited man as the same one who had given her her first fighting training manual. Recognizing what Luffy had just exclaimed, she jerked her head towards the shorter boy and echoed, “Grandpa?! He’s your grandpa?!”

“What’s this I’ve heard about you playing around with pirates, boy?” Monkey D. Garp asked of his grandson in a low growl, his ever present grin drooping slightly as he stomped up to lower over the boy. “Marines don’t make friends with pirates!”

“I’m not a Marine!” Luffy loudly declared in response, trying to hold a strong front but his grandfather could see slight quivering in the boy’s stance. “I’m gonna be a pirate! The best pirate ever!”

“Get that fool notion out of your head right now, boy!” Garp roared, rapping his fist against the boy’s skull just hard enough for the boy to cry out in pain and cover the now sore spot but not seriously hurting him.

“Hey! Don’t hit my brother!” Ranma yelled out, jumping forward only to halt when she heard her mother yell out an instant later.

“Ranma! Stop!”

Jerking to a standstill, the crimson haired girl flicked her eyes from Garp to Makino and back while complaining, “But he hit him!”

“It’s cause the boy needs to get that fool notion out of his head right now! No grandson of mine is going to be a pirate!” Garp confidently told the girl, keeping his onyx irises locked on the boy still cringing before him.

“Garp, it’s just a child’s fantasy.” Woop Slap interjected, trying to defuse the situation on both sides with a calming voice as he pulled on his short grey beard. “He’ll grow out of it, like all children do in time.”

Crossing his arms over his large chest, the grey haired Vice Admiral nodded, more to himself than anything. “Then, he’ll just have to grow up faster and I can see that’s not going to happen here.” Pointing down to the recovering black haired boy, he declared, “Boy, you’re coming with me! When you’re done with my training, you’ll be Marine ready!”

“Vice Admiral, please reconsider! He’s happy here and growing strong.” Makino tried to reason with the man was old enough to be her own father.

Garp just shook his head with a snort of air through his nose. “I’ve made up my mind. He’s had too much tainting from pirates here. Even a devil fruit… No, I’m taking with me and dropping him off with someone who owes me. If he’s far away from pirates, it’ll keep these fool notions out of his head.”

Ranma’s eyes widened along with Luffy’s, once she realized what was happening. “No! You can’t take him! I won’t let you!” She yelled out, clenching her tiny hands into fists and glaring up at the high ranking Marine about to take her brother away.

“Ranma, wha...” Makino started to reprimand her daughter but was interrupted by Garp raising a hand to stall the mother with a loud barking laugh.

“Bwahahaha! You’re going to stop me? And how are you going to do that, girl?” The grey bearded Marine inquired with interest, his mouth in a large toothy grin.

“I… I’ll…” The crimson haired girl stammered, trying to think up a way to stop the bad man from taking away Luffy. Suddenly an idea popped into her head and she snapped her eyes back up with a hard glare. Jabbing a finger up at the towering man, she declared, “I challenge you to a duel!”

Garp just looked down silently for a second before bursting out in another bout of laughter. “Bwahahahah! A duel! I like this girl; she’s got moxie!”

“Please, Admiral! Don’t hurt her! She doesn’t know what she’s doing!” Makino cried out, jumping up from her chair after the initial shock wore off. To her left, Woop Slap had also stood up, leaning on his cane with a frown on his face.

Garp just waved off the request as unneeded, not even turning his wide grin away from the girl. “Don’t worry about it, I don’t even need to touch her for this.” Spending a moment to stare down the girl, he offered up, “How about this, girl? I’ll give you one free hit, but just one, to knock me down. If you can drop me to the floor, I’ll let him stay. If you can’t, he comes with me.
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Dumbledork » Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:52 pm

Ooooh, a challenge. Ranma loves challenges.

Hey, how did Granny Weatherwax get there?
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Konsaki » Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:00 pm

Dumbledork wrote:Hey, how did Granny Weatherwax get there?
Needed a name for a single old woman and was surfing TVTropes.org's Diskworld page. She'll be mentioned in one other spot but not in person and has no real impact on the story. I could have put any other 'old woman' in the place. :wink:
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Konsaki » Thu Jan 30, 2014 5:11 am

“Grandpa’s really strong…” Luffy warned in a worried voice, still rubbing at the sore spot.

If anything, the grey haired Marine’s grin grew even bigger at his grandson’s appraisal. “Well, girl? Here’s your chance! I’ll even close my eyes!” True to his word, his eyes closed as he opened his arms out for an invitation to his large chest.

This left him wide open for a swift low blow.

“Ranma!” Makino screamed out in shock, witnessing what her daughter just did to the ‘Hero of the Marines’.

Luffy and Woop Slap clenched their knees reflexively, grimacing in sympathy pain for their fellow man.

Sucking in a strained breath, Garp stumbled slightly, dealing with the pain but definitely not ignoring it.

Putting her foot down onto the wooden tavern floor, Ranma scowled as Luffy’s grandfather shuddered but refused to fall to the floor. She knew she had no chance to win if she played ‘fair’ and went straight for the man’s weakest spot; a swift kick right between the legs.

“Yo…” Garp tried to say before his voice hitched, forcing him to take another grimaced breath. “You’re lucky I’m a man of my word, girl.”

“You never said ‘how’ I had to hit you or where.” Ranma bluntly countered, still clenching her fists in the slight vain hope he’d just fall over.

The Marine couldn’t help but chuckle even as he continued to grimace. The child was right and he couldn’t rightly do a thing about it.

“I can’t believe my daughter just did that. I must be dreaming… a really bad dream.” Makino dazedly said, putting her face into her hands with a small shake. “My daughter really didn’t just kick a Vice Admiral in the privates… She just didn’t…”

Taking one last deep breath, Garp straightened to his full height once more and crossed his arms across his chest once more. “You lost.” He simply stated, the grin beginning to return as the pain was pushed away.

Glaring up at the man for a second, Ranma turned fully to the black haired boy nearby. “I’m sorry, Luffy…”

“You almost did it.” Luffy replied with a smile, happy to see his sister almost succeed considering just how strong his grandfather was.

“Alright, boy. Let’s get going. I’ll get your stuff later.” Garp commanded, walking around the girl who just assaulted him to get to the door.

“Yes, Grandpa.” Luffy answered with a resigned voice, giving the girl one last quick hug before following behind his grandparent.

Just as Garp reached the exit, Ranma caused him to pause by calling out, “I’m gonna get strong enough to beat you someday!”

Looking over his shoulder with his original wide toothy grin, the Vice Admiral answered back with amusement. “You’ve got a long way to go, girl. Just remember, you’ve already got your free hit and I’m not falling for that again!” Bursting out with his loud laugh, the man pushed open the door and took Luffy along with him.

In the quickly quieting room, the village elder let out a breath while rubbing his scalp. “I’m sorry it came to this…”

Just as he said that, Ranma burst into a full run into the back room; the sounds of her footsteps clamoring up the stairs and a slamming door soon following.

Seeing Makino’s worried look upward to where her daughter’s room would be, Woop Slap patted her arm comfortingly. “Don’t worry… It might take some time, but she’ll learn to deal with this and grow stronger because of it.”

Seeing the raven haired woman’s absent nod, the Mayor let out another sigh while giving the woman’s arm one last pat. Having imparted some of his wisdom, the man made his own way out back into the village, leaving the woman to her thoughts and sudden change in her now smaller family.

oO0Oo

End of Chapter 1
Konsaki
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Re: Crimson Hunter

Postby Blackcat101 » Thu Jan 30, 2014 9:20 am

You handled the whole situation quite well, even giving a good reason why Luffy had to leave Ranma.
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