Page 7 of 7

Re: Favorite Company - (Reverse SI)

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2017 5:09 pm
by Cheb
Great chapter with great plot twists and real, heavy-duty WAFF :D

But I am missing something here. When did they return to Earth? :?: :(

Re: Favorite Company - (Reverse SI)

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2017 1:00 am
by Ryu Gabriev
They didn't. Q Made a twinning effect occur. there are TWO teams now, one out in Multiverse and one still here.

Re: Favorite Company - (Reverse SI)

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2017 8:49 am
by ckosacranoid
Thats going to get intresting to say the least. Or very annoying when the out group gets back.

Re: Favorite Company - (Reverse SI)

PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 6:17 am
by Ryu Gabriev
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, ideas, or concepts borrowed for the purposes of this story. I just wish to create stories to tell to all who would listen.

Chapter 7: General Chaos
Chronicle Log - Day 3. Commander Jadzia Dax Speaking…
In hindsight, getting caught up in Jonathan’s enthusiasm for big explosions and indirect revenge was not one of my best decisions. When I came back to consciousness, however, the only thing I could think of was “Ow…”

I must have said it aloud since immediately Elizabeth and General Iroh were at my side, looking me over for any sort of lingering conditions from my reaction to the Siphon being destroyed. I took in my surroundings to reorient myself, noticing how run down the room was and the slightly putrid smell in the air. The small window on the wall to my right was dirty and not allowing much light inside, which made me wonder how long I had been unconscious.

My thoughts quickly turned to worrying about my symbiote, given how sensitive the neural connections between it and my host could be at times. Personally, I felt fine, minus a slight headache, and the memories I usually could access seemed… sharper in some way. Given this era and general lack of medical technology, if something was indeed wrong I'd only realize it moments before I died. I was enjoying the trip, honestly, but I needed to get back to DS-9 as soon as possible.

I focused back on the present and asked Elizabeth to return my tricorder to give myself a quick scan. She did so, but all I could find was that there seemed to be residual chemicals in my bloodstream. Nothing that my body wasn’t filtering out on it’s own. With no access to better equipment or a former host that happened to be a physician, I ultimately settled on the theory that I'd received a shock to the system but managed to endure it.

Almost as soon as I settled on my state of affairs the door to the sparse, tiny room opened up. Three people shuffled in, two of them being Jon and Yohko. Our guide had a stormy look on his face while the devil hunter scratched at her back and sides frequently. This would be related to the fact both of them had exchanged the clothes they had been wearing previously for items found during this era. Pity that even from my position these new clothes smelled like they hadn’t been reconstituted in months. The third was a young black woman with her hair tied back in a short bobtail wearing a loose blood red scarf, white blouse and beige slacks. “-so we agreed then? You help the Vox and in return, the Vox helps you...”

“Yea, yea Fitzroy. You’ll get your damn bloodbath. It’s not like there’ll be innocent people caught in the crossfire once you all start gunning down the place.” Jonathan’s tone of voice was far more bitter and sarcastic than I’d ever seen in him previously. Didn’t take much to guess that this woman Fitzroy was the cause.

She gave him a stern look but smiled coldly. “Good. Best keep thinkin’ that.”

Fitzroy turned and left the way she came, letting the door shut behind her. Charming woman, really. Jon kept his sour look as he glanced about the room until he focused on me. Who knew he could smile like that. The guide called out my name and quickly zipped over to my ‘bedside’. “How you feeling, Dax? Everybody still in there?”

I let myself smile at that, wasn’t too bad a quip for someone who had only seen Trills on a vidscreen before. I nodded in reply, mentioning all I was able to learn given the lack of specialized equipment or training at my disposal. “...I'm a scientist, not a doctor after all.”

The guide took me at my word and looked back towards the door of the room. “How's Ian, you guys?”

“I am afraid that young Gram’s condition is unchanged from earlier.” Iroh pointed to the side of the room nearest the door where I finally noticed Ian laying down on another improvised cot on the floor. His face and body twitched for a few seconds before settling back into slumber.

I asked aloud what happened to Ian and how long he’d been this way, and to answer Jon related the last few hours to me. “Basically, after the blast wave from Liz’s tower K.O.ed ya, we made the ‘acquaintance’ of Father Comstock… who wasn't too happy to see his big shiny tower go boom on his watch.”

Iroh picked up the narration at that point. “This Comstock then set a swarm of enemy vessels a upon us, but thankfully young Ian and I were able to subdue them. When a host of missiles were launched against us he crafted an invisible barrier of force to repel the attack, which seemed to be an overreach in our friend’s efforts to defend the ship.”

“Thankfully Jonathan and I figured out how to fly the barge by then and we made our escape.” Elizabeth paled slightly before continuing her part of the story. “I also learned seconds after that that he gets distracted really easily.”

The guide started to fume. “Oh Sure. Ya nearly hit one building and they never let you forget it!”

Three!! And each of them because policemen landed on the barge and you were more interested in watching Iroh fight than keeping your eyes in front of us!” Yohko suddenly joined in the dressing down of Jonathan’s piloting habits. He was quick to raise his own defenses.

“And what were you able to do at that time, Miss Devil Hunter?! Cheerlead, that's what! It was taking everything you had to just stand at the time, which meant Iroh was the only one able to defend! So forgive me for trying to keep an eye on everything at once an-”

Enough!” The general’s roaring voice forced the argument to a very quick halt before he took the participants to task for their behavior. He first stood in front of Jonathan and held his arms behind his back before speaking.

‘A platypus-bear that chases two jackalopes will catch neither.’ You were the helmsman for our vessel. This is a task that requires much of your focus and reflexes given the speeds we were traveling…” The guide opened his mouth to counter, but Iroh continued before he could get a word in edgewise. “...and yes, your reflexes are indeed better than civilians I am used to seeing, but it was still foolish to place yourself in a position where you're forced to rely on them to keep others safe.”

Jon’s head drooped just like a small boy’s would and he managed to grumble out a weak apology to the general. Iroh then clapped his left hand onto Jonathan’s right shoulder, which made the guide lock eyes with the general. Iroh smiled before continuing. “Don’t not fear making mistakes, fear never learning from them.”

He pressed the sleeves of his robe together and turned in the direction of the two girls. “Jonathan’s instinct to keep awares of everyone's condition on deck was not incorrect. Though he gave it more of his focus then was healthy at the time, given the circumstances, if one or both of you had been in danger it more than likely would have been him that alerted me to the situation. As leader, our safety is Jonathan’s top priority. Do not mock him for taking that duty to heart.” Both Liz and Yohko shrunk in on themselves slightly, now feeling a bit guilty about their behavior.

Now that all three of them seemed suitably chastised, Iroh sat down lotus style next to me and continued the story from there. Basically, after repelling the missile barrage, Jonathan raced our little ship in between buildings and under archways to avoid fire from the bigger blimps while the smaller barges tried to cut us off and box us in. At the same time groups of officers used the skylines to board our ship seconds before Iroh ‘escorted’ them back off, many times without their Skyhooks. At this point, he pointed out the pile of gear we'd been allowed to keep and I dove for the shiny little pile. Magnetized triple hooks with a motorized handle grip which could catch and slide along the elevated rails… I really hope we get a chance to try it!

The general suddenly gave off a huge yawn as he tried to steer me back into listening to the story, leaving Yohko and Liz to take over the narration. In the meantime, the general found a comfortable position on the floor and within minutes was snoring away.

Yohko started first, mentioning how we were driven past the picturesque areas of the city and into the darker, seedier shanty town that sprung up under and around the Fink Mtg. building. On the way there Jon had made the slight mistake of flying too close to the police station for this section of town. The missile defense emplacements did the rest, hitting our ship and forcing us to crash land in the middle of Finkton. No one was seriously hurt, since our guide managed to touch down in a nasty slide that impacted in front of someplace called the ‘Good Time Club’. For some reason this made Jonathan snort in laughter as the ‘devil hunter’ mentioned it.

As soon as Ian and I were hoisted onto the backs of Iroh and Jonathan respectively, our group hobbled away from our doomed craft. But going as slowly as we were, the odds weren't good that we'd be able to hide before Comstock’s men found us… which would be when this Vox Populi group entered the picture. Several of the group helped us ‘go to ground’, so to speak, in Finkton’s shanty town. Which is where we were now a few hours later, a dilapidated shack that could do with Chief O’Brien’s special touch. Night had fallen but the entire city above was still in an uproar over our little bit of vandalism.

As for our little group, it had been quite the day so Liz and Yohko were following the general’s example and settling down for a much needed sleep now that I was caught up with everything. Yohko leaned up against one of the corners and tried to make herself comfortable. Liz laid down upon a grouping of short crates arranged in a line and let exhaustion do the rest.

As for our guide, he turned and quietly left the room. I followed right behind him, catching up as he leaned against a boundary railing on the boardwalk that offered a view of the stars without restriction. “Jon?”

The guide turned to face me, his face completely haggard in the pale moonlight. “There's one last thing the girls forgot to mention… that woman I walked in with? Her name's Daisy Fitzroy, leader of this bunch of misfits that call themselves ‘Vox Populi’. And apparently she's so impressed by our little light show earlier today that she ‘asked’ for a repeat performance at Fink Mtg. tomorrow.”

It wasn’t hard to figure out what might be at risk if our guide didn't comply with Fitzroy’s ‘request’. “Well, without another phaser it might be a little more difficult than last time-”

Suddenly Jonathan straightened up before he smacked his fists into the guardrail hard enough to make it sound like a gong. “THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM DAX!!

Before I could get over my confusion enough to say anything, the guide continued his emotional explosion. “I have ordered people to kill today. It's been hours and I still hear the screams of those cops Iroh tossed off the ship. And now, to make sure we aren't served up on a fuckin’ platter to Comstock as a macabre peace offering I have to somehow justify mass murder to my conscience!! What's next? Slaying the unborn just so I can survive for a few more minutes?!”

I expected further outbursts from Jonathan, but instead he just slumped onto the railing while letting it support his weight. The only sounds coming from him were small shuddering gasps as he tried to hold his cracked demeanor together. As for myself, I really wished one of my previous hosts was a councilor… ‘cause I really wanted to know in advance how best to handle someone acting like our guide was right now. But I had to say something, so I just went for it with what I had. “Do you really believe this Fitzroy woman’ll turn us over to that Comstock guy if we don't blow up that factory?”

The guide stopped his almost-sobbing and was still for a moment or two before replying. “I have no idea. I know her history and general timeline well enough from the game, but in said game she was getting help from the Lutece the whole time up until they convinced her to die for the cause… personally speaking I really think that was tacked on just so she would seem more noble than an equal, but opposite enemy for Comstock and the player to deal with…”

Jonathan stood up straighter as he talked, his expression and general look seemed to improve as well as he focused more and more on the question I’d asked him. Must remember to ask Jon tough questions whenever he’s upset to snap him out of it. He then crossed his arms in front of himself and spun halfway around so that his lower back was leaning on the guardrail. Finally he let his head droop forward slightly as he shut his eyes before continuing. “It wasn’t even supposed to be like this… ‘Save Liz. Blow up Giant Siphon. Get Liz to warp us all outta this crazy place. The End.’ Christ Almighty, that’s how the story’s supposed to end. Why didn’t it work for us?!”

And as if by magic, Jon, for once got an answer.

“What is a story, but a set of specific events-”

“-told in a specific pattern-”

“-to reach a specific conclusion?”

I turned in the direction of the voices just as the guide opened his eyes with a start and lifted his gaze so he was facing forward. Those same two people from that odd hallucination I and apparently everyone else had gone through earlier today now stood in front of us holding the same deadpan expression as before. I was starting to wonder if we were dealing with beings like the Prophets, but Jon was looking at them like they were making him sick. “Oh great, it was you two earlier.”

The male’s left eyebrow rose slightly. “Are you always so bitter to those offering assistance?”

“I am when I know the help sees me like I'm in a giant Petri dish.” Jonathan glanced my direction, noticed my confusion and rolled his eyes before holding his left hand out towards the strange pair. “Dax, allow me to introduce Robert and Rosalind Lutece. Two dimensionally separated ‘siblings’ that found each other through the use of the Lutece Tear, a working transdimensional portal invented by Miss Lutece here. It's kinda like the mechanical version of Liz’s powerset. And it's them fiddling with that machine that brought Liz here and gave her her powers in the first place.”

Rosalind gave off a slight nod. “A condensed, but accurate summation.”

I joined in the conversation before Jon could say anything to get us in more trouble. “So why are the both of you here?”

They met my gaze with their own, before a strange noise drew my attention away from the odd pair. When turned back, they were gone.

“Gah… cryptic bastards, the both of ‘em!” The guide whipped his head around trying to spot the missing Lutece twins. Honestly I couldn't really disagree with his opinion of them. But something about what they had said earlier tickled my curiosity.

“Not that I have any reason to doubt you, Jon, but if those two see us as an experiment only then why reveal themselves like that?”

Jon opened his mouth to offer a rebuttal, then narrowed his eyes, shut his mouth and held that expression for a few more seconds. “'re right… they had no reason to pop up like that… unless…”

I motioned for him to continue his thought and was then treated to an example of our guide’s powers of recall. “Canonically, the Lutece only showed up when Booker and Liz were at a dead end or needed information that couldn't be got any other way normally…”

My eyebrows rose at the unfamiliar name. “Booker? You mean that man who helped us rescue Iroh and Yohko at that raven place?”

“That’s him. Basically he’s the one who originally springs Liz from her tower and then spends the rest of the game trying t-” The guide’s face took on a confused look as two sets of information finally clicked in his mind. “...the sequence of events. I skipped us to the end on purpose so we could avoid the hell this place would become as the Vox’s war tore the city to pieces… but partway through the original storyline Booker and Liz encounter three other, smaller Siphons that they need to deal with to proceed further. But Liz’s tower was still intact during the whole ordeal so those others shouldn't matter unless…!”

Jonathan suddenly blanched before slapping himself in the forehead. “...unless those three, one in the Memorial Gardens and the other two found in Comstock House, were potential backups to be activated in the event the main unit suffered complete systems failure. But because canon had Booker and Liz take out the subsystem first, when the main Siphon was torn down the energy released had nowhere to go but Elizabeth. Dear God, I'm an idiot. I brought the whole city down on our heads for nothing.”

I couldn't believe my hearing at that moment. He knew about other devices like the one in Elizabeth’s tower and kept that to himself?! My expression turned harsh as I proceeded to give this man-child the dressing down he really deserved. “It's worse than that Jon. You may know about this place from one, but this isn't a game. All our lives are on the line when you, the commander, decide our course of action and rash actions mean we all die!”

Our guide was speechless and wide eyed as I kept going. “If I had had some more time, I might’ve been able to shut down the Siphon instead of destroying it, keeping the building intact and preventing the running firefight we had to escape from. Or if couldn't be shut off, disabled somehow so that the effects to Elizabeth would be negated. Either of those options that I just came up with could have potentially prevented the backups from coming online depending on the transfer mechanism in place, but even in the event they did not, we still would be in a better position than where we are now: on the run, at the mercy of an apparent mad woman with an axe to grind and in danger of simply being shot once our usefulness as saboteurs runs out! What in the world could possibly convince me to trust you with my life if this is the result?!”

Jonathan’s face now settled into a calm neutral expression as he silently witnessed me reach the end of my argument. He just stared for a few moments before finally responding. “Iroh can create fire and redirect lightning through his abilities and martial arts skills. Yohko, when she's transformed, has physical abilities that are on the low end of superhuman. Her tools and weapons will be of great use against most, if not all, supernatural threats. Ian now has psychic powers that seem to only be limited by his imagination, so he's a useful wildcard. Liz has no combat skills to speak of, but her cryptography and lockpicking skills are rather impressive, as well as her rudimentary medical training. And then there's me, Mr. Encyclopedia Fictional. If I can recognize things in whichever world we visit, odds are I have a decent info dump handy about the immediate area.”

My anger evaporated as I heard the guide speak and a rather confused look fell on my face. I waited a moment more to see if he would elaborate on whatever the hell he was talking about, but nothing further was forthcoming. So I asked him straight out why he was defending his behavior like this, which was apparently his cue to take his turn laying into someone. “No, Commander, these are suggestions for the new leader from your predecessor, because I quit. Bad enough I have to live with the deaths of those soldiers and cops on my soul for the rest of my life, but I also have to deal with the nitpicking of my decisions by those in my care? You do it then. I didn’t want this job, this responsibility. Iroh talked us into accepting me for it, and if you’d been just a liiiiittle quicker with the complaints maybe you’dve talked me out of it before I ordered the deaths of several dozen people!!”

I opened my mouth to interrupt but Jon carried on regardless. “And before you even think of asking the greatest question in the world, ‘Why Me?’, allow me to preempt you properly. Iroh is suffering from complete burnout as a result of leading several armies against the capital city of a rival kingdom and losing his only son during battle. You’ll have a better chance getting teeth off a duck than getting him to do this job. Yohko doesn’t need to worry about fellow combatants since Devil hunters are trained to fight alone against demonic threats. So no help there either. Ian’s been unstable since he got his super psychic fun powers as well as a penchant for creative murder using said powers! Liz just got out of her tower, so she’s the best possible example of ‘sheltered upbringing’ you could ever have in this dimension! And the last guy to have this job is such a classic screw-up that he’s managed to get an entire city of racist pricks pissed off by managing the most explosive ‘Fuck You’ gesture imaginable!!”

The guide stomped towards me now, rage turning his face red as he hit his finale, his face right in front of mine. “So congratulations, ‘Commander’, on being the last Trill standing for the least sought after position in this group by anyone with a lick of Common Sense. Hope the Prime Directive serves you well out here, BECAUSE YOU’RE IN THE REAL FINAL FRONTIER NOW!!!”

He then stood there for the next few seconds catching his breath and coming down from the emotional wave he’d just ridden, before quietly walking back to the safe house and letting the door clatter shut behind him as he got inside.

Like I said before… really wish one of my former hosts was a ship’s counselor.
Chronicle Log, Day 4...

The next morning actually started in the afternoon for all of us with a visit from Daisy Fitzroy herself. She proceeded to brief us on our part in the day's activities: we were to infiltrate the factory above us and disable the electrical system, allowing the Vox unrestricted access in all the confusion. She then left us with a detailed schematic of the building’s internals so we could find the necessary junctions to cripple the internal security.

The first problems of the day occurred after the Vox leader left us to prepare for her part in the Op. The five of us, since Ian was still out of it, sat in a loose circle to discuss how to best do our job. Iroh started things by asking our guide how we were to proceed, and he simply turned down to me saying, ‘Ask the Commander.’ After a little prodding from Yohko, Jon proceeded to ‘elaborate’. “Dax had concerns about how everything went down yesterday… and to be honest, so did I. So under the circumstances, Dax here is the only viable stand-in we have until I either figure out how to not make things worse or we all get home.”

That… was far more democratic and subdued than I was expecting, given how last night went down. I let my gaze sweep across the people assembled in hopes of gauging possible reactions. Elizabeth was looking at Jon with concern, while Yohko stared at the floor with a neutral look to her face. Then the devil hunter pointed out that our guide didn't need to tell the future to be a good leader. Jon countered by revealing the information that had been revealed to us by the Lutece twins, along with my recommendations for how it could've gone down and not result in a total FUBAR like it had. Iroh just gave Jon a deep stare while stroking his beard with his right hand. A few moments later the general turned to me and started speaking. “Perhaps… such a thing is necessary at this time… but if this is the case Jonathan, should you still join those of us chosen to assault the factory this evening?”

The guide quietly shook his head. “My only talent is information, and that can be phoned in from here using the Combadge. Besides, someone needs to keep an eye on our napping psychic until he wakes up. Might as well be the guy that's useless in a fight. Unless you think you need me for something on site, Dax.”

I declined, figuring that anything that could pop up unexpectedly wasn’t worth risking Jon’s life over. I took control of the rest of the planning session, selecting Iroh and Yohko to act as assistants while I handled the rewiring work. To do what we needed to do, the three of us had to hit three master junction boxes, one on the first, third and fifth floors. If this were the late 20th century, three janitor uniforms would be enough to get us in. But here and now, it would require a bit more finesse.

The main operation was put into motion by Iroh letting Yohko and I into the building from one of the lower skyline loading docks. He had received a janitor’s uniform after the meeting and had been using the stealth it provided to learn the ins and outs of the facility during the last few hours of the afternoon. When he opened the door and let us in that night, first thing I noticed was how tired he looked.

He was quick to explain things when asked. “The man that runs this factory, Mr. Fink, seems to think he can transform the men that work for him into beasts of burden with no thoughts of their own.” The general gave off a long yawn before steadying himself and continuing his explanation. “I can understand the need to avoid mischief in one’s work force, but even oxen need rest now and again, men even more so.”

I shook my head at the treatment of FInk’s workers. “He must be some kind of Darwinist then… those theories were popular around this time frame. We have a factory to sabotage… so let’s get to it. Iroh, was there anything of note near the junction boxes?”

The general had finally gotten his strength back and began reporting what had been witnessed earlier: The three boxes themselves were relatively unguarded, but during Iroh’s scouting, several electricians had been going to each of the boxes, did some sort of repair or alteration, then moved on to the others. “Unfortunately, I have little experience with this kind of repair, so I am quite uncertain as to what they were doing.”

I nodded in understanding, before tapping my badge twice. ”Jon, this Dax. Do you copy?”

Our guide answered immediately. “Vehan’s Sniper Service, We Please to Aim. How may I help you today?”

I let myself grin before answering. “Iroh’s been informing Yohko and I about the goings on during the last few hours. For some reason the junction boxes we’re about to mess with, and possibly the whole electrical grid in the building, is needing near-constant maintenance because of… something. Any thoughts come to mind?”

The com was silent for several moments before Jon’s voice came through again. “Not sure. Fink has his hands in a lotta pies, so it’s possible Comstock’s commissioned him for something since the Lamb’s no longer here. Elizabeth Two-Point-Oh, maybe.”

Elizabeth’s voice cut in at that exact moment and she seemed to be talking with Jon for a couple of seconds before I cut the channel on him. Turning back to my teammates, I explained how the mission would continue. Each of us needed to hit the boxes simultaneously, so we’d split up and each handle one; Iroh taking the 1st floor, Yohko the 5th, and me the 3rd.

After reviewing with them what to look out for with the grid and minor safety tips, the general got back into character and just started sweeping his way down the corridor. ...I wonder how he’d do in a holodeck?

I held the thought for an instant and then shook it off before heading for the nearest stairwell. Along the way I set my tricorder to a passive bioscan so I could sidestep any guards or personnel before they could notice me being where a woman shouldn’t be. Two patrols and a group of workers later I found my way up.

Almost as soon as I passed the second floor a voice started squawking from my Combadge along with the sounds of strong winds blowing by. “-ma did ninjutsu, how hard could it be’, I thought. Bad enough trying to climb up a building that’s on the actual fucking ground!!!”

I grinned and was about to tap my badge to get the devil hunter’s attention when shouting came from behind me. I turned to see two men in uniforms and helmets run up the stairs from the second floor door. One reached my position and grabbed me by the shoulders, so I countered by sending my right knee into his chest twice followed by a hammerblow to his back that sent him into the floor unconscious.

I turned to face the other one only to find he’d drawn a pistol on me while I’d been distracted earlier. Can’t remember much about old Earth firearms, but I was pretty sure this one didn’t have a stun setting. The guard motioned upward with the barrel of his weapon. “Hands in the air, Vox!”

I moved to comply, wondering how I’d get out of this, when I simply got lucky. Yohko must’ve been able to hear things from my side of the Com and suddenly cried out across the transmission, which spooked the guard. I used a disarming chop on his wrist to get him to drop the gun, before twisting that wrist and sweeping his legs out from under him in an overhead throw. The stairwell wall finished the job sending him to sleep as well.

I grabbed his dropped weapon and hurried up the stairwell to the third floor just in case anyone heard the commotion. I then tucked myself into a secluded little room just off of the main hall and after a few moments, I tapped my badge and checked in with the others. “Dax to Iroh. Do you copy?”

It took a few moments, but soon the general’s voice piped up from my Com. “I am unsure what I should be copying, but I can hear you Commander.”

I reactivated my tricorder and started briskly walking to my junction box. “Good. Are you at your target yet?”

Iroh confirmed that he was waiting by his box just as Yohko chimed in that she had finally found hers. I’m just glad Starfleet Combadges can do three-way communication. “Here’s how it’s about to go, guys. Once I reach my own area, I’ll tap my badge twice before shorting out that section of the grid. That’s the signal for you both to do the same. Doesn’t have to be fancy, just disrupt the power. Understood?”

They both gave their acknowledgement and I broke contact just as I was turning the last corner before I would be able to see the junction box. Unfortunately, someone was already there. One of the many technicians that Iroh had noticed during his scouting mission was doing something to the cluster of electrical equipment. Every so often bright sparks would shoot out of the wiring. Whatever this Fink is up to it must be drawing out an immense amount of energy. Nice to know we’ll be getting two birds with one stone on this one.

A slight feeling of regret passed through me as I watched him finish his alterations before packing up his tools. He looked like he knew what he was doing, and I was about to ruin it for a woman who barely had any idea of how any of this worked, all she knew was that it was in her way. As he turned in my direction to head to his next project, I ducked back behind the corner I'd been peeking around. A few moments passed before his footsteps faded away enough for me to risk going for my target.

I quickly reached the junction box and pulled out my tricorder to find the best circuits to cross. Once found, I holstered my tool and took a deep breath to steel my nerves. I didn't really enjoy the thought of yanking on high voltage wires without any rudimentary protection.

But… it had to be done if I expected to ever see my Worf again.

I tapped my badge twice, gripped the two large wires needed to overload the grid and pulled them free. Energy crackled and snapped as I jammed the bare wire ends back into the box, forcing the electricity down paths it wasn't meant to travel. Almost instantly the building shook as the lights flickered and popped at random before a surge of power launched me from the box to the floor. The technician from before reappeared, demanding to know what I was doing here and what I had just done.

For the strangest reason, I felt the need to be glib. “The Vox Populi are taking possession of this facility in lieu of overdue back payment for everyone living below.”

The Fink employee went deathly pale. “The hell you are, woman! The overload from the Blood of the Lamb’ll level this building alongside your precious negroes and chinamen!!”

The technician suddenly ran off before I could ask what he meant, seconds before the building suddenly lurched to the side, forcing me to stumble into a wall head first. The next thing I could understand was Jonathan screaming at me through the Combadge that part of the building had exploded. I tried to stand up, but couldn't get my feet underneath me. Someone scooped me up in their arms and began running. I heard the sound of glass shattering and noticed the brightness of the moon overhead.

There was a sudden jerk and my focus shifted back into place, showing me that it was Iroh who had pulled me out of the building and got us out of there. At that time he was… somehow… sliding atop a Skyline rail on his feet away from the factory before leaping off and solidly landing on another nearby rooftop. Seven lifetimes of experience, and this is the first time I’ve ever seen an elderly man pull off feats of agility that make me feel like I did before I joined with Dax.

I managed to get my equilibrium back allowing me to stand up on my own. I tapped my Com to ask our guide whatever the blood of the Lamb could be before a familiar looking purple shockwave burst from the center of the factory. Thankfully the wave didn’t reach far enough to wash over Iroh and myself, meaning I actually got to see this explosion through to the end, but the result was somewhat bittersweet as this meant the two of us had an unobstructed view of the top half of a seven story building collapse in on itself once gravity had made it’s presence remembered.

And to think... I got onto Jon’s case last night for being too reckless.
Chapter End.

A little late, I know. But WoW finally lifted the banhammer on me and I was in the final phase of shifting jobs from Domino's to Lyft. Hope you still enjoy.

Re: Favorite Company - (Reverse SI)

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2017 11:53 pm
by Cheb
there are TWO teams now, one out in Multiverse and one still here.

Aaand that's where the fanfic shot itself in the foot :(
I honestly tried, several times, to read and review the last chapter, but just couldn't make myself care. :(

I think I got a useful quote for you:

Don’t arbitrarily kick the player in the nuts. Kick them in the nuts with specific and carefully crafted purpose.
Tyler Sigman, a design postmortem for Darkest Dungeon video game.

Re: Favorite Company - (Reverse SI)

PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2017 4:18 am
by Cheb
To elaborate:
ROBs splitting reality are fine. It's the POV jumping between the 2 or more versions of the heroes that killed the cat. The feeling of attachment the reader has for the characters loses purchase, flickers and fades.
You can use the splitting plot device if you strictly follow one group and then they meet in a "whoa, that's me over there!" way.
You can, I suppose, follow one group to the end, then introduce the second group's adventures as a series of disjointed flashbacks after the 2 get merged back, with memories mixing.
But simply randomly switching between 2 versions of the main cast as you did? It's a story killer.

Re: Favorite Company - (Reverse SI)

PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 2:17 am
by Cheb
P.S. And my comment to the previous chapter was in false assumption that I *missed* some chapter in-between. As a stand-alone thing it's pretty good.

I think the last 2 chapters can be salvaged, it only needs some careful work.
I'd like for you to get some more reviews: my opinion is just a single point, it's not enough to draw a line. :(

Re: Favorite Company - (Reverse SI)

PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 11:00 pm
by Ryu Gabriev
If I made the Home team's story it's own fiction instead of it mixed in with Favorite Company, would that work for you?

Cause here's the thing: The Crusader and the Traveller are going to meet at the end of both their stories, and both are needed to 'save the world' as we say.

Re: Favorite Company - (Reverse SI)

PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 5:14 am
by Cheb
In my humble opinion, such split is best published as *four* separate fanfics, Arc 1, Arc 2a, Arc 2b and Arc 3, with tons of warnings on how to read them.
This is only my opinion, though. We need more opinions.

Re: Favorite Company - (Reverse SI)

PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 2:27 pm
by Ryu Gabriev
Cheb wrote:In my humble opinion, such split is best published as *four* separate fanfics, Arc 1, Arc 2a, Arc 2b and Arc 3, with tons of warnings on how to read them.
This is only my opinion, though. We need more opinions.

Right now it's split down Startup, Scattershot and Endgame. Honestly though I'd LOVE to have other opinions on this... but for some reason my writing is of the type that doesn't invite speculation. So far only you and stark on Spacebattles have even bothered to weigh in.

Kinda disheartening really.

Re: Favorite Company - (Reverse SI)

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 3:21 pm
by ckosacranoid
I also think that putting the stores as different works might seem the best so that readers can follow each group and then be able to get an idea of what each groups does as they travel though their stores. But not bad though.