The Pluto Pool chapter seven...back from hiatus

Bridging the gap between Ideas and C&C.

Post individual scenes that need doctoring, outlines, or other detail work that isn't quite ready for the C&C thread.

The Pluto Pool chapter seven...back from hiatus

Postby talonhunter » Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:53 pm

Ok... After Three Years, I finally got inspired to start on one of the best stories I have going beside the spelling, this is the first scene. Looking for input here to see if it needs more fleshing out, or just more length. I plan tl get he rest of the chapter up and gone thru over the next week or so...

The first 6 chapters of the story can be found on this link if you want to refresh your memories about it...



The Pluto Pool...


Chapter 7: Without the past Present and Future meet...


Time...3 weeks( and 3 years ago)...On the shuttle Ugly, Nemisis continues to feel the power growing as she nears the moon palace. The control computers send out the standard friend/foe requests on the old guardian frequencies..." Unknown vessel, please identify yourself and your mission." the feminine robotic voice says over the system speakers. 

"Moon Palace, this is the shuttle Aki, captained by Hera, princess of The Nemesian preserve. I request permission to land and meet with the lunar command staff." Nemisis replies back....

Meanwhile, in the command center, a hailing computer alerts Ku Lon and The Moon Queen of the inbound shuttle request...

"Queen Serenity, Lady Pluto/Ku Lon, a princess Hera of the Nemisian preserve is requesting to land and meet. Her ship is not in the archives, but is utilizing Silver Millennium  power and tech. She is stationkeeping at the outer defensive zone and voice print records show a match to Soldier Nemisis. What are your instructions?" the computer asks as Ku Lon and Serenity turn and look to the moon cats for confirmation...

"It is possible that she was able to survive, but after all thus time?" the white Mau advisor says.

"The only thing left of the planet Nemisis was a debrie field the current earth scientist call the asteroid belt." Ku Lon says looking up from the Archie system data screen.

"Allow the ship to land at bay three and advise them we will meet them there." Serenity says as she gives a firm nod to Ku Lon and the Mau advisors. Soon the quartet is waiting in the crew shield area as the shuttle Aki lands. It's pilot steps to the flight deck and both the former queen and senshi gasp. Nemisis takes to her knee in front of Serenity's chair. "My queen, lady Pluto, it is good to see you once more after all these years. Please tell me how long you have been awake from your stasis tubes?" she asks as a tear slowly tracks down her face. One of joy at the return of a loving monarch and friend...
Who needs the light when the shadows are so much more...Playful

Senshi of Dione (Saturn IV)

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Come see some of the crew here
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Re: The Pluto Pool chapter seven...back from hiatus

Postby talonhunter » Fri Jun 17, 2011 11:42 pm

Yeah, the monster it has grown into from all the backgrounds and flashbacks. To think this started with a simple idea to have Pluto get tied into Ranma and ku Lon with rehashing so much of what others have done to Pluto and Ranma. My muse is screaming profanities at me from her guilded cage for not getting back to this sooner. And thanks for the input.
Who needs the light when the shadows are so much more...Playful

Senshi of Dione (Saturn IV)

=^*^=
Come see some of the crew here
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Re: The Pluto Pool chapter seven...back from hiatus

Postby Shanami » Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:41 pm

I have to agree, I'd like a bit more beef to that.

I did read through the past 6 chapters, but I don't really remember if you ever described what Senshi Nemesis looks like, that might be appreciated. I do think that the story definitely had places to go, though it does jump around an awful lot from past to present. I'd hope that, eventually, that will even itself out and the story will start to just proceed.

Beyond that, you've got an interesting thing going. I'll check back to see what more you add on as I have time available.
Senshi of Titania (Uranus III)
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