War of the Giant Beasts - Test Scene #1

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War of the Giant Beasts - Test Scene #1

Postby MovieBrat » Thu Mar 04, 2010 8:05 pm

Keep in mind, this is number one of a series of test scenes for War of the Giant Beasts to give you guysan idea of the kind of story I'm going for. But after the test scenes and gathering all the constructive criticism and advice, then I'll get started on the actual story. So, here's part one.

Under the piles of snow and ice, a shaken hand reached the outside of the pile. Grabbed the icy ground and formed into a fist. What followed was Jadeite, bleeding a bit from his forehead but was upset about his current failure.

Godzilla... Jadeite clenched and seethed his teeth in anger. I'll kill him for this humiliation!

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The inside of the hotel began to fall apart as the two monsters fought brutally beside it. Concrete began to depart quickly on both the inside and the outside. Ranma, Akane, Setsuna and Minako quickly ran down the stairs since the elevator would be dangerous given the current situation. Anguirus rammed up against Godzilla's chest. The mutant dinosaur moved back a bit until he grabbed ahold of the monster's face. Godzilla pressed his claws into Anguirus's eyes, as a result, the monster cried out in pain. However, Godzilla tripped on his own feet and fell onto another building imploding it. However, during that mishap, he spread his arms and one of them rammed into the very location of the hotel where the staircase was just the very second the building exploded.

"We're almost there!" Ranma cried out as they were almost down to the first floor of the hotel.

The claw rammed into the middle of the staircase just as the four humans were attempting to make their escape. Unfortunately, Akane yelped and accidentally tripped and fell onto the palm of his hand. Godzilla started to get up, bringing Akane with him.

"AKANE!" Ranma roared. Without thinking, he jumped onto the monster's finger claw just as Godzill was retracting it.

"Ranma, no!" Setsuna yelled. She tried to grab hold of his ankle but couldn't reach him in time. She almost tripped out of the building's hole but fully regained her balance.

"Shit!" Minako cursed out loud. Both of the Senshi looked up in awe at the great beast that was holding the two martial artists.

Godzilla fully got back up on his feet, standing upright once more. He felt something on his hand, held up his hand close to his face gazing upon the two teens. Akane and Ranma both felt a sense of dread, they had already seen what he was able to do. Godzilla opened his mouth and roared, loud enough to hurt their ears and scare them to death. Now, both Ranma and Akane screamed in fear at the sight of the angry monster.
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Re: War of the Giant Beasts - Test Scene #1

Postby DCG » Fri Mar 05, 2010 7:15 am

The writing looks good, and you have a good flow for what little there is.

It dont make one bit of sense to me, and fear is not the reaction i figured from ranma and akane.


PS: I total read that title as "War of the Giant Breasts" on the first look...
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Re: War of the Giant Beasts - Test Scene #1

Postby MovieBrat » Fri Mar 05, 2010 1:34 pm

DCG wrote:The writing looks good, and you have a good flow for what little there is.

It dont make one bit of sense to me, and fear is not the reaction i figured from ranma and akane.


Well, I don't intend for it to be in the final story. Again, just a test scene. And really, why is that? Why wouldn't fear be a reaction coming from Ranma and Akane?
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