Ranma Saotome and The Fate of The Ancients

Bridging the gap between Ideas and C&C.

Post individual scenes that need doctoring, outlines, or other detail work that isn't quite ready for the C&C thread.

Ranma Saotome and The Fate of The Ancients

Postby Nicaeus » Fri Jun 26, 2009 4:03 pm

1. Real Chapter of RSaFotA
Prologue is in http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3920770/1/Ranma_Saotome_and_the_Fate_of_the_Ancients


Following is a draft and I suspect that it shows. It propably includes a multitude of grammatical errors and weird flow of thought but please bear with it since I really would like some help with this. Does it have any hope?


Disclaimer: All copyrighted material is property of their respective owners. I own nothing. This work is merely to show my appreciation to the original creators.

“ “ -speech

' ' - thoughts

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

”Mom!!! I suppose I needed this stuff,” Ranma, who had finished shopping with his mother, lifted a shopping bag full of men´s formal wear. ”But I really do not see any point buying any more girly clothes for me.” He added lifting another bag in which was a beautiful top-grade women´s kimono with all of its accessories.

”Shush now, Ranma. One never knows when that kimono would be needed. You are my manly son in both forms but I will not have you dressing poorly in either of them, especially when I am going to introduce you to my side of our family and to your future wife and her family.”

Family. A word that Ranma was only barely familiar with. He´d began to understand the concept after his mother had moved to live in the Tendo dojo after Saotome house was totalled. Nodoka´s presence had tuned down the insanity a bit, although only by keeping the most insane ideas of Genma and Soun from seeing the daylight. Nodoka had frowned especially at anything concerning Ranma marrying Akane and Ranma had been wondering why. Untill now that is. Now he knew why and was not too thrilled. With his luck his mom had managed to get him just as many fianceés as pops had. That thought Ranma banished from his head as soon as it formed. He trusted his mother, small quirks aside.

”Why so long face, Ranma?” Nodoka, who had seen his frown asked.

Ranma´s concentration failed and it took a moment for him to collect his thoughts. ”Uhh, nuthing, mom.”

”Don´t be silly, Ranma. Something is troubling you and I wish to know what it is. I am concerned about you.” Nodoka firmly said. ”Besides I have seen how indecisive you have been with all these women around you. I am happy that they are so interested but it is not manly to be so indecisive.”
Ranma flinched like he had been slapped, hard. ”After we come back from this omiai I want you to tell them that all engagements, except the one between you and Tsuruko are off. It is time to put Genma´s foolishness at end in this matter.”

”But mom, I dont wanna hurt anyone´s feelings!” Ranma said.

”Unfortunately you must. There are no choices in this matter if you care anything about family honor. Let me explain. When I was young, I was a total firecracker, just as I though ”Ranko Tendo” to be.” At this Nodoka smiled wistfully ”My mother, who got frustrated with my ”lack of disclipine”, used her contacts and arranged me being trained by the Shinmeiryu school of swordsmanship. Initially I did not like it but later on I grew to love swordmanship. I spent most of my teenage years in Kyoto mountains where the main house of the school is located. Due to our similarities I became fast friends with Kinuyo Aoyama, the heir of the school and we both were trained by her mother.”

”I met and fell in love with Genma during my stay in Kyoto. He came by with Soun and that horrible little gnome who is the grandmaster of Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu. After father found out my relationship with Genma he was livid until he found out about Genma´s ancestry. You see, Ranma, your father is actually descendant of Tomoe-gozen´s only child. Also, he is a descendant of Musashi, even if it really hard to see.”

Ranma, of course knew of Miyamoto Musashi but the other name was not familiar. ”Tomoe-gozen? Sounds like a chick name. Who was she?”

”Don´t tell me you do not recognize one of the most famous female warriors in the history of Japan you ingrate!” Nodoka shouted furiously. ”Ranma, if I hear about you sleeping in class even one more time, you will be very sorry, do you understand?”

”Y-yes, mom. I´ll try but it´s just so boring.”

”We´ll discuss this later.” Nodoka frostily said. ”Right now however we will concentrate on your family history. As I said my father found out about Genma´s ancestry and decided that Musashi´s blood would be a good addition to our family, because of the prestige it would bring in certain circles. Aoyamas, after they found out decided that Tomoe´s genes would be an absolutely necessary for their clan. You see, almost all Aoyama women throughout history have been highly skilled warriors and they have always thought her as an example for them all. Only problem in this was that clan Saotome had fallen in hard times since most generations since Meiji restauration have been rather unscrupulous lot and so most of their wealth has been wasted in various fool´s errands which also dragged their clan honor through mud so to speak.”

”Now, Aoyamas are an ancient samurai clan, close to emperor acting as imperial demonslayers from time immemorial. Usually they could not even consider having any sort of relations with a clan with such a reputation as Saotomes but in this case there was a solution. Clan Ikari would function as a buffer between Saotomes and Aoyamas. Ikaris are not part of the old elite but the new being a highly succesful zaibatsu-family and as such it would be a jackpot for a Saotome to marry an Ikari. So, Genma would marry me and our firstborn son would marry firstborn Aoyama girl provided if said firstborn son had retained his personal honor above average level thus relieving some of the shame on Saotome name. That pact brought something for everyone. Aoyamas would have the blood of Tomoe in their clan. Ikaris would become closer to the emperor and perhaps gain some more foothold in the political field. Saotomes would gain a chance to redeem their name and get couple of very important allies.”

Ranma´s mind reeled. He´d understood a bit but not too much. ”So, uh, correct me if I got this wrong but did ya mean that these warrior chicks who sound like Japanese versions of Amazons want me to marry one of them because some ancient warrior chick who was my great-grandmother or sumthing.” His tought processes went something like this: ´They´re part of old Samurai class = Kuno. Theyre warrior chicks = Shampoo. Kuno + Shampoo = Kodachi + lots of fighting skills
!!!´ He shivered at the horror of that scenario.

”Ranma, language.” A slight whack on the boy´s head with a sheathed sword. ”You are basically correct. There is more though. It was also agreed that you would be nominated as the Saotome clan head after you marry Tsuruko and that your daughters would go to the Aoyama clan registry and your sons would remain in Saotome registry to ensure that both clans woud get a heir out of the arrangement.”

Ranma´s thoughts took a forlorn path. ´Great, mom´s been planning my life even more than pops. If this continues on, they´ll be controlling my every step soon. Still, momma´s never tried to hurt me, aside from that seppuku-pledge. Unlike pops, who´s just trying to fill his stomach at my expense. Oh yeah, now I´m trapped by another set of crazy chicks with weird laws. Great. Thanks mom.´

Out loud he decided to continue the conversation. ”Mom, if pops agreed to this, why he´s been getting me new fianceés from left an´ right and why he´s so dead set for me marrying Akane?”

”Because your father is a greedy idiot, as I sadly noticed soon after we married. After his father, who was the Saotome clan head when the contract was signed, died he has been scheming all sorts of things. He thinks that by sullying your honor enough the engagement between you and Tsuruko would become null and void and he would keep the position of the family-head no matter what. I tried to contain him with the seppuku-pledge but he managed to turn that against me and kept you away from me.” At this she wiped out several tears. ”I have no clue why he wants you to marry Akane, though. I have long ago stopped truly caring about anything related to him.”

ooo

Mother and son arrived to the dojo in a contemplative silence as Nodoka had let Ranma digest her tale and had herself began living the old memories. As they made it inside of the Tendos she exploded into a flurry of activity, packing the bought clothes and ushering Ranma to pack his own.

”Where is my husband? We will be leaving in a moment and he needs to be ready,” She finally asked noticing that Genma was nowhere to be seen.

”I´m sorry, auntie. Mr. Saotome ran somewhere soon after you left,” kasumi answered to her.

Nodoka merely shrugged. She had been expecting something like this. ”I should have guessed. Well, no matter, we must be going, see you later Kasumi-chan. We´ll discuss how to pay back for our stay with your family after we come back.”

”Have a nice trip, auntie, Ranma.” Kasumi said and looked after them wistfully as they stepped out.

Ooooooooooo

The train trip proved to be uneventful. Nodoka had been reading a novel for most of the trip and Ranma had been watching the countryside as it slipped by. Then he remembered something that he had not remembered to ask beforehand.

”Mom?”

”Yes, Ranma?” Nodoka replied putting away her book.

”What kind of people they are, your pops and mom and them, I mean.”

”Oh, your grandparents are very traditional people, more so than I am. They are living just outside Kyoto where the main house of the Ikari family is located. As I said the Ikaris are a zaibatsu-family, quite rich and influental. Father built the Ikari Industries Inc. By himself after the war and now my brother Hayate is its chairman. His daughter and your cousin Yui is propably the most intelligent nine year old I´ve ever seen. And what comes to mother, its often been said that I am her mirror image in both looks and mind, although she tends to be a tad bit more ... prudish.”

Ooooooooooo

Aoyama Tsuruko was deeply engrossed in her sword training in the field outside of the Aoyama compound in Kyoto. Or so it looked like for a casual observer. In fact she was merely going through several complex katas that she had learnt by heart almost five years earlier and didn´t pay any attention to her training. Her mind was far away, concentrating on a certain pigtailed youth.

She didn´t know what to think about him. Granted, he was a very handsome fellow. The picture she had seen had him staring at the camera with an almost irresistible roguish grin that no doubt had made almost every girl and woman he met fall for him immediately. He definitely had charm in spades.

He was also supposed to be a superior martial artist, as far as one could believe her mother. Some rumors linked him with the destruction at Mount Horaisan and she´d heard other scattered bits and pieces from various sources about his exploits.

However there were also several unsettling things she´d heard. Saotome Genma, Ranma´s father was a known thief and con-artist. Ranma´s name had come along in the recounting of several of Genma´s escapades and Tsuruko, well knowing the details of the deal between the three families was unsure if Ranma´s honor was spotless enough. Her mother hadn´t said anything about it though, so there shouldn´t be any problems with this as Kinuyo Aoyama could be VERY vocal about anything she did not like and as far as Tsuruko knew she had digged up everything that was possible to know of Ranma.

Then the final thing that had been giving her a slight headache about the boy. He was supposed to be a man among men, manliest person alive, that is if you took Aoyama Kinuyo´s or Saotome Nodoka´s opinion as a face value. Their definition of manly was the problem. Aunt Nodoka, as she had insisted to be called when she was visiting Kyoto had a very peculiar view of the matter. A manly man, according to her, was one who peeped on women, stole their underwear and generally acted like a pervert in addition of being an insufferably macho bastard. Kinuyo in other hand had defined a manly man as a mixture of a samurai of old and a modern, cosmopolitan businessman. In Tsuruko´s mind the two didn´t mix that well and she had a disturbing image of Ranma as a yakuza-boss.

Be it either way, her husband-to-be was propably trouble. Yet, she was honor bound to marry him and she would never shirk from her duty. No, she would marry him but if his attitude would not please her she would have to ”train” him. Oh yes, he would find out that she definitely was not a traditional, meek sort of a wife. A devious smile rose on her lips.

´Fufufufu, Saotome Ranma, I think this will be an interesting meeting!´ Tsuruko silently laughed as she ended her kata and turned towards the compound entrance. She had to prepare herself for the trip ahead.

Ooooooooooo

Eventually the train reached Hinata and as they stepped out Ranma saw several people standing on the station platform, among them was an elderly pair that approached them as soon as they exited the train. The woman, aside of greying hair and some wrinkles, was a splitting image of his mother and the man somewhat resembled himself so he guessed they were his grandparents.

”Nodoka, so good to see you.” The woman said and gave Nodoka a kiss on her cheek.

”Likewise, mother.” Nodoka said, somewhat reservedly, and returned the kiss. She then hugged her father, who eagerly returned the hug. ”You too, father. Ranma, these are your grandparents Ikari Daichi and Ikari Aoi. Father, mother may I present you Ranma.”

Daichi took a step forward and took hold of Ranma´s shoulders. ”It is good to meet you again after so long a time. Last time we saw you you were but a toddler. And look at you now. Such a fine young man you have become. I´m sure your mother is proud of you.”

”Uh, yeah. I hope.” Ranma said and then scratched the back of his neck nervously. ”Um, that is...”

Daichi let out a hearty chuckle. ”Relax, son. She´s been updating us on happenings in Nerima. I can´t believe that Genma. Causing such a mess. Oh well, I knew he´d do something like that. After all, he´s a Saotome.”

”Hey!” Ranma didn´t like the tone the old man was using so he decided to object. ”Pops may be bad but he´s still my old man so lay it off, old geezer. And what´s wrong with Saotomes, huh? I´m a Saotome and proud of it.”

”Ranma! How dare you be so disrespectful!” Nodoka shouted, ashamed that Ranma could use such language when speaking to his grandfather.

Daichi raised his hand to silence her. ”It´s all right, Nodoka. He´s defending his heritage and that is a good thing. I am not offended. I hope you ladies won´t mind if I take Ranma for a little stroll, just the two of us. It´s a nice day and even my old bones need excercise now and then.”

”Very well, husband. We will meet at Hinata Inn then. Come along Nodoka,” Aoi said.

”As you wish, mother,” her daughter replied and the two women headed towards the Hinata Inn.

Ooooooooooo

Ranma and Daichi walked along the streets of Hinata talking about this and that. Although Ranma´s first impression of his grandfather had not been too good due to his comment on Saotomes Ranma found out that the old man was rather likeable person. Easygoing, friendly and optimistic. Eventually Ranma had told an abridged version of his lifestory to his grandfather, who had also told several stories of his exploits. As they reached a small playground, Daichi sat down on a bench and gestured Ranma to follow suit.

”Ahh, that´s better, I´ve walked enough for a while. So, son, what did your mother tell about the situation with Aoyamas?”

Ranma elaborated his discussions with Nodoka while Daichi listened nodding now and then.

”Yes, I think she did tell you every important bit. I hope you understand that this is a very important thing for each family.We´ve been waiting for this for twenty years now, ever since your parents got married.

This here is the place of my major writers block. Kind of Irritating as I´ve planned quite a bit forward but haven´t written it down yet.

Right after this scene plays the scene from Keitaro´s childhood where he and the "Promised Girl" talk about going to Tokyo U while Ranma and Daichi are discussing nearby.

After Saotomes and Aoyamas have arrived at Hinata-Sou, Ranma will be given the room which Keitaro later inhabits and Tsuruko gets the room above it, where Naru will later live. The hole´s already there and Ranma gets curious after hearing someone moving around upstairs. He peeks up and sees butt-naked Tsuruko, who also instantly spots Ranma but does not show it and lets him intentionally see quite a lot. Ranma crashes back down on his own floor and awaits the literal Hammer of Judgement to fall on his head but only hears Tsuruko laughing upstairs.

Next day the Omiai is held, and Motoko who feels very threatened about Ranma runs off only to crash straight into a giant Turtle-Demon as she later dubs it. She´s almost scared to death and gets her fear of turtles from this incident. In reality it is Taro who´s found some water of drowned giant turtle and now has an outer armor comparable to a main battle tank.

Motoko runs off and gets lost while Taro ignores her trying to find Happosai who, according to the information given him by Nabiki, is supposed to be hiding somewhere inside the Hinata-Sou.

Happosai is around but just coming to the scene as Nabiki has pointed him to the direction of Ranma. He meets with Taro, and they start destroying the annex of the inn between their scuffle.

Meanwhile other members of the NWC have appeared on the scene. The Fianceé brigade attacks Tsuruko but find her to be a very dangerous opponent even when facing all four of them alone.

Ranma similarly has to face off Kuno, Ryoga, Mousse and the fathers, and their match quickly develops into a free for all after Mousse accdentally attacks Ryoga thinking him to be Ranma.

A lot of fighting ensues but in the end Ranma and Tsuruko have to defend themselves against the entire NWC, fend off both Happosai and Taro and go together to find Motoko.

Later on both Seta and Haruka will play a major role in the fic but I am not that far in the detail planning yet.

Comments and Ideas, please.
Nicaeus
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Re: Ranma Saotome and The Fate of The Ancients

Postby Ellen Kuhfeld » Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:58 pm

It's an interesting idea, and might make a functional story - but what you have here are talking heads, slightly helped because we're familiar with the heads.

Minor problems - I suspect Ranma would know about Tomoe, though if Genma were doing the instructing he might lack data on female warriors. Sometimes you use Japanese name order, sometimes Western name order.

I'd try to give only the most important points of the idea, amidst more action, then save the rest for later. Musashi, Tomoe, female warriors, and Genma actually trying to ruin Ranma's honor are the main things to get across.
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Ellen Kuhfeld
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Re: Ranma Saotome and The Fate of The Ancients

Postby Nicaeus » Fri Jun 26, 2009 11:40 pm

Yes, I did notice the talking heads thing too. Oh well back to writing, then.
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