Self insert opening scene. I need a title too.

Bridging the gap between Ideas and C&C.

Post individual scenes that need doctoring, outlines, or other detail work that isn't quite ready for the C&C thread.

Self insert opening scene. I need a title too.

Postby Spokavriel » Thu Oct 02, 2008 1:33 pm

I haven't worked out a disclaimer a title or even much of the plot yet but here's the opening to a Self Insert I started writing. The Rozen Maiden dolls won't have a part in the fic after this scene and it is going to be a Ranma 1/2 cross. I'm not even certain what I want to cross into it yet but I am looking for input on how I am dragging myself into the right place to get mixed up in the story's plot.

Edit: Parts which have been reposted in later edited/expanded scenes are now recolored Green. Only done once at the time of this edit. But I figure it will help point out that a section has a newer version later in the thread and be better than reposting everything.

Scene start_ _ _ _ _ _

In a cluttered room sitting at an L shaped desk with no fewer than 4 outdated computers on it is an overweight dark blonde (bordering on brown) haired, blue eye, bearded man constantly reading and typing various things. It's obvious he spends allot of time here between the piles of printouts, dirty dishes, snacks ready to eat, multiple books with page markers hanging out showing they are either part way read and probably set aside in favor of what is on the screen and just piles of movies and mail set off to the side on the floor making a little wall between the computer zone and the rest of the room. There is even an old Nintendo Entertainment System that appears to be hooked up to the only computer currently turned on. If you could get on the outside of the desk and see through the walls you would find that a TV, VCR, Stereo with turn table and tape deck are all also connected to that same computer. It would almost be enough to make you think this guy works converting analog recordings to DVD's, but all he seems to use it for is playing analog audio and video into his system to avoid extra distractions while he continues to read online.

Now I know someone on the internet and the first thing that comes to mind is porn. There are even multiple YouTube videos featuring a song that declares that the internet is for porn. But this guy is reading fanfiction and researching things that seem completely pointless like trying to find information on daily life in foreign nations in peace time. There's lots of clearly printed history during conflict but not so much in other times. Other things researched are more along the lines of trying to find times where a politician has been honest. (Barack Obama is really really hard to find any honest responses that he didn't also go the other way on.)

Day in day out the main difference seen is weather or not this guy chose to get dressed. Most of the time sticking to PJ's the whole day usually getting dressed up when he has to go out to get mail or more groceries the guy just seems to do almost nothing. Every once in a great while he has an almost costume he uses with a Pith Helmet and a shirt, that has Spokavriel printed across the shoulders along with logo's for defunct TV networks on the sleeve and over pocket logo space, he wears when on Net Cam. Sadly it can't even be called a routine because that implies some kind of pattern to the tasks.

I could go into more details about the mess or how he seems to not have combed his hair in a decade but I think you get the picture. You are staring at the opening to yet another crappy self insert fic. Don't worry after this comment I'll try to avoid first person narration. I find it really annoying in fics. There's going to be a DeusEx cameo to get this started. Because the story begins with this guy asleep at his computer as one of the Rozen Maiden dolls peeks out of the large mirror anchored to the wall behind the computer monitor.

"Shinku? SHINKU!" It's a good thing the guy is a heavy sleeper otherwise Hinaichigo's shouts would have already woken him up. As she pulls back into the glass the wall anchors pull free and the whole mirror topples onto him. So maybe not such a good thing. But the Gateway is still open and he startles awake looking right at the little doll who's lost between N-fields.

"Ok if this is a dream it's a weird one." Looking around at the white space with branches of trees growing in what appear to be unnatural shapes. Thinking to himself 'At least I'm not having one of those naked in front of people nightmares.' He was dressed in his special shirt, Pith Helmet, Tan slacks, and even had his toy Pokéball he uses for a change purse still hanging off of his belt.

"SHINKU! HELP!!!"

"Oh yeah really weird. I wasn't even watching Rozen Maiden and Hinaichigo's screaming... What next"

Startled hearing the stranger say her name. "H How do you know who I am?"

"Ever go to a DVD or other Multimedia entertainment store? There's an Anime series featuring the Rozen Maiden Dolls."

"What's Anime?" Hinaichigo seems to get less scared because of being too confused to keep panicking.

"It's a kind of TV show. You know like Kun Kun's detective show. It's not the same kind but that's how I know of you. By the way my name is Daniel Thomas Stack. It's not fair to you if I'm the only one knowing names."

Just noticing that the mirror she was looking through earlier is gone. "Oh no!"

"What?"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to break it!" Hinaichigo starts backing up looking scared.

"Break what?"

"Your mirror's broken!"

"My mirror?"

Another voice. "Your Mirror that you came through is broken so you can't go back home the way you got here."

"Souseiseki!" Hinaichigo runs over to the male dressed gardener and gives her a tight hug as she appears around what could be a tree trunk.

"Well I do have other mirrors." Daniel was still confused.

"Not all mirrors have the life to support a portal." Souseiseki replied and started looking around the near area. "Maybe if we can find another one close enough you'd still be able to walk back home. But distances here aren't the same as in the real world. Two mirrors next to each other could be in real world locations on different continents."

"Worse comes to worse I guess I could look for a US embassy I really don't think I should be here or take too much time hunting."

"I'm sorry!" Hinaichigo appears to be on the brink of tears. "I can't even look for Shinku right!"

Souseiseki shook her head and sighed. "She was in her own N-Field relaxing and waiting to talk with someone."

"She was?" clearly relieved.

Daniel interrupted "I'm sorry but can you show me the way out of here. The sooner I can get back to a computer no matter where it is the sooner I can get back home." Following up with thoughts to himself. 'Between mapping sites and online listings of embassies and online banking it shouldn't be too hard.'

After being taken to the next closest mirror and further assurances to the dolls that it won't make much difference Daniel ends up in a little wooden shack that appears to have no one home at the moment. He quickly goes outside not wanting to appear to be imposing on someone else's hospitality to see something that he didn't believe existed in real life. The valley spread wide in front of him but was full of thousands of springs each with at least one bamboo pole growing up out of it.

"Jusenkyo..."

(Edit: Found a typo and added a word.)
Last edited by Spokavriel on Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Spokavriel » Fri Oct 03, 2008 6:11 pm

Guess no one wanted to say anything about the start. I'm planning on having it follow some events from Ranma 1/2 trying to avoid everything I don't like about other stories like staying too close to cannon and I am working on some ideas to make it eventually be another take on Uncles. I'm still working on the plot. It will be AU no matter what and all the present day technologies are around even if they won't be prominent.

In a way my problem is trying to work out where in Sailor Moon and Ranma 1/2 I want the Uncles concept to come into play and that will more or less decide for me how I want to get this going The latest being with either Mu Tsu's or Herb's visit to Jusenkyo to give some way to get involved with other plot elements.

If I go with the start of Ranma 1/2 where Genma and Ranma are at the training ground it would be easier to follow the well trodden path but there are also some fun ways to abuse Genma's idiocy. That just might be way too long a yarn to spin before getting to any of the SM elements.
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Postby Sunshine Temple » Fri Oct 03, 2008 8:41 pm

It was just an Opening.

There wasn't really enough plot to get my teeth into, sorry.
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Postby Spokavriel » Fri Oct 03, 2008 9:04 pm

It's ok. In a way I tried to say that I can see that it isn't enough in my second post. There's allot I still have to work out. If it wasn't for continuing Election research and fact checking I would already be going through all my Anime and Manga scans on hand for Ranma and Sailor Moon to further work out how I want the world to go so I can get the plot outline better nailed down.
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Postby Spokavriel » Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:59 pm

I can't think of any way to do the Uncles tie in it's too far off. I'll keep it in the Relationships mix for the AU but it will probably end up another fic if I end up doing it.

I'm thinking about going with Genma and Ranma's trip to Jusenkyo just because allot more is known about what is going on in the neighborhood of the springs for that time frame making it easier.

In the story Genma was once an honorable man and his marriage to Nodoka was arranged by their parents a long time ago but that doesn't mean he didn't have Girlfriends before the Omai and marriage.

This AU will use the girl on a bench that Genma more or less rapid fire insults while talking about the Virtues of Nodoka in this fic is the first girl he ever slept with and she was going to tell him she was pregnant. The child would end up one of the parents of Hotaru making it a half sibling to Ranma and fitting for the Uncles idea.

But the reason Genma was so clueless and did that in my idea was because after being with her Genma was being a more normal person and starting to ignore the masters orders so Happosai used the Xi Fa Xiang Gao shiatsu technique to seal off Genma's memories of loving the girl and his respect for women. Now here's the thing it didn't change Genma's personality right away but over the course of a few years the lack of respect for women undid almost all of his positive personality traits because most of the admonishments that gave him any good points came from his mother. During the training trip Genma learns to fake respect for women but he never has to feign respect for a well cooked meal. So if it is ever found out what happened to him I'm not certain.

Edit: That doesn't mean any fear or respect for skill was sealed off. But when you think about the Respect for Women being sealed and how Akane acted with her memory of Ranma sealed I think it makes a decent motivation.

I'll post again after I get through the first day at Furinkan High. With me around I don't think things would turn out quite the same.
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Postby Spokavriel » Tue Oct 07, 2008 3:52 pm

Actually maybe I should post again sooner. Traveling along instead of saying all of this in exposition later after getting to Nerima is making it a long way until Furinkan. It may be early in the Manga but well it's more than a month of travel. I'll probably edit this post to add in my next scene after I'm done cursing people at this trip to Jusenkyo. Unless there is a reply that will be a delete and repost of this post with the story added.

This picks up just after the previous segment leaves off.


Daniel sits down outside the hut and waits. 'I could have probably tried the mirror but even though I don't know the language or anything like that at least I do know where I am now.' While sitting there listening to the breeze through the trees he slowly starts to notice the sound of people approaching from the far side of the shack. Although the conversation could be heard it was in Chinese.

A woman's voice *It's really no trouble she is more than welcome to stay at my house so she doesn't miss any days of the tournament. Don't forget our scouts have seen that pair of Martial artists apparently following the mapped trail to Jusenkyo.*

The Jusenkyo guide replies *Thank you so much I know Plumb will be on her best behavior. I would have loved to watch too if not for the impending Customers.*

*Daddy I'm not a new born!* Plumb chimed in indignant about her father admonishing her in front of an Amazon.

*Thank you again for helping us fetch fresh water back to the hut. Too bad we can't just heat Jusenkyo water.*

*It's no problem. You need to drink and customers need proof they can change back to avoid a rampage. Would it be ok if I help Plumb pack for her visit as soon as* The amazon gets cut off by Plumb interrupting.

*I'm already packed!* Clearly excited.

*Yes she's packed and wanted to go before I could get your help with this. As soon as the Cistern is filled she's free to go with you.*

Although he heard it all Daniel didn't even get the gist of any of it beyond the little girl sounding excited. Staying where he was sitting he waited for them to finish what they were doing before introducing himself. 'I hope the Jusenkyo guide knows English. I wish that one of my books could have gone through the mirror with me. Just sitting here doing nothing might look suspicious.'

Plumb is the first to notice the unexpected visitor. Since she's not strong enough to do more than supervise she ran around the house to get her pack so she could leave with Per Foom quicker. *Hello? Well you don't look wet.*

"Hi um I'm sorry I don't speak Chinese."

"Engrish?" Plumb asked the man. "Ret me get my Daddy." she runs off back the way she came. The voices end up too quiet for Daniel to hear clearly before all 3 return.

"Hello customer my Daughter Plumb says you speak English?"

"Hello my name's Daniel and if I remember what I read about this place I don't think I count as a customer and hopefully I won't be bathing here any time. Would you believe I ended up here because of a Mirror accident?"

The guide appears a little confused but can also see that the guest doesn't appear to be wet or even geared up for long traveling. "Would you like to come inside and we could talk."

*Daddy can I go now? The water's full and everything!*

"Don't let me interrupt anything I have plenty of time to wait."

*Per foom? Maybe it would be best to head out now. I can keep this guy from following and you can still take the short way home.* The guide doesn't get to wait for a reply as his daughter is already back next to the Amazon with her pack.

*Ok then, But if he understands us you know the Matriarchs will have to deal with him.* In a chilling tone. She then turns to Plumb and in a much more pleasant voice. *Come on if we don't hurry we might miss some of the first matches!* The Guide and Daniel both end up amused at the obvious delight Plumb exhibits as the ladies leave.

"I'm guessing you didn't have to send her away because a stranger was here."

"No Mr. Customer she just going to visit friends. Now you said you got here because of a mirror accident?"

"Yes oh and maybe I should fully introduce myself. My full name is Daniel Thomas Stack. And not too long ago I was asleep at my computer in Reno Nevada of the United States." While mentioning the locations he points to a circle and then a flag on his right sleeve. The Circle is the State Seal for Nevada and the flag is the Stars and Stripes of the US flag. "It seems a doll that I thought was only a character in Anime used my mirror looking for a friend of hers and it caused the big antique to fall over on me. Before she realized she got me stuck on her side of the mirror the thing clearly got broken. Your mirror in the back of the hut was the next closest in that space."

"Well Mr. Stack welcome to Jusenkyo. Most people can't speak my name so please call me just Jusenkyo Guide. That is most unusual way to get here. And you not fall in springs?" The guide moves to the door and clearly motions for Daniel to join him inside.

"I usually go by Daniel or Spokavriel online. And I didn't go near the springs. I read some stories that feature them also online. I'd rather not risk ending up another species."

"Oh you into computernet? Didn't know it have stories of Jusenkyo. Yes many tragic stories of things that die over many years. Not sure how you get here if springs not want you to be customer." The guide pulls out a chair at the table then sits at the other side.

"I spend so much time reading things online I rarely do things outside of my apartment. And there are many stories online mostly involving characters from all sorts of fictional stories and having them either fall in springs of another gender or animal. Have you ever had a guest named Ranma?" Joining the guide at the table and taking off his Pith Helmet.

"I no think so but we can check guest book." The guide just reaches behind him then sets it on the table flipping through the pages. "No, no, not seeing a Ranma."

"Maybe he is completely fictional. But after how I got here I wouldn't bet on it." If Daniel could read Japanese he would have been able to spot the signature of Happosai and had even more reasons to doubt it but single language learning can be quite limiting.

"Perhaps you come greet customers as they arrive at springs tomorrow. Try keep away from water?"

"Sounds like a way to get knocked in. I wish I had any of my stuff. Do you have a computer or know anyone near by that has one?"

"No computer, no phone. Nearest phone at Daughter's friend's place."

Daniel sighs. "Want any help making dinner?" The night ends up progressing with small talk about the areas that Daniel and the Guide live in. It's rare for any guest to stay more than an hour at Jusenkyo without getting cursed and even rarer for one with unusual circumstances to their arrival but the night passes without incident and the next day has the guide go out to attempt to divert the Saotome's from their training choice.

(_)-(_)-(_)

While the Guide is away from the hut Daniel does the Lunch dishes and sweeps up. 'After the fate of the two incoming customers is decided I have to get the guide to help me get to a computer.'

Out at the springs. ^Here, Sir is Legendary "Training Ground of Accursed Springs" Jusenkyo. More than 1000 springs each with it own tragic legend."

^Are you prepared Ranma?^ Said the older spectacled man.

^This place ain't so impressive.^ Ranma replied.

^Guest yesterday ask about a Ranma. You is Strange one, no, Sir? This place very dangerous nobody use now.^

^Follow me Ranma!^ The older one jumps right out to the bamboo poles.

^Wait Pops the guy said someone was ask...^ interrupted by Genma.

^Too afraid to fight me Ranma!^

^I ain't scared a nothin'!^ Ranma jumps out and takes a position on a pole not far from his father.

^I won't go easy on you.^

^That's just the way I like it.^

^Please Sir! Very bad if you fall in Spring!" The commotion is loud enough Daniel looks out from the hut and easily recognizing the pair he ends up sighing. If he could understand Japanese he would notice that this is allot, but not exactly, like what he read about the event.

As Genma gets knocked into a spring Daniel shouts. "Guess you couldn't keep them from the water!"

^Pop? What's up? We done already?^ Ranma gets surprised when a Panda leaps out of the spring. ^Yao! Wha--? Wha--? Wha--?^

^That is "Spring of Drowned Panda"! There is tragic legend very tragic of panda who drown there two thousand year ago!^ The guide ends up moving aside to avoid the water dripping from the Panda's Gi. ^Now whatever fall in that spring... Take body of Panda!^

^Oh no.^ Dodging swipes from Genma/Panda. ^You never said anything about^ A lucky strike cuts off Ranma's complaint as he flies through the air to his own wet appointment.

^Ohhh! Not "Spring of drowned Girl"!^ The guide moves closer to the spring but also keeps out of easy splashing distance with practiced ease. ^There is tragic legend, very tragic, of young girl who drown in spring... One Thousand Five Hundred year ago! Now whoever fall in that spring.^ He keeps talking even though Ranma is screaming at her changed status. ^Take body of Young Girl. See now you Young Girl.^

The enraged Ranma gets out of her spring quickly. A local hermit is dipping mice into a spring of drowned frog among the poles to increase his number of trained pets.

Seeing the cursed Saotome's start their dangerous chase. "Jusenkyo Guide! I don't think you'll be able to catch them! But what about that guy?" Pointing out the Toad Hermit. Looking where I gestured the Guide sees a semi frequent repeat customer and goes over to chastise him again.

*Sir it's very bad if you get wet. Why are you doing that to your animals again?* The guide tries to avert another disaster but the Saotome chase quickly breaks one of the Bamboo poles A chunk hits the guy in the head and he ends up in the water that he only intended to end up on the mice. *You never listen. I warned you time and again when you were making more frogs for performances. You lucky you curse yourself in drowned man spring so you still part human.* As the guide helps the now more fittingly named Toad Hermit away from the spring with all his pets the valley gets a bit quiet.

'Maybe it won't happen.' Daniel thinks to himself. 'It's not even the same year things happened in the Manga so maybe the Lost Boy won't be there.' Daniel watches the guide go into his hut with the Frog Man to change him back to human. Shortly after the door closes a clamor of snapping Bamboo comes from the bluff overhanging at least 30 of the springs. 'Then again they just might not have gotten to him yet.'

^Get back here Pop!^ Ranma rebounds off of the backpack of a guy who just jumped out of the Panda's way sending him over the edge of the Bluff.

"Ahhhhhh!" A male scream is shortly followed by a splash. Daniel knocks on the door to the hut opening it a crack so that the guide can see who it is.

"Daniel I helping a Customer right now."

"I'm sorry about the interruption but I think you have another customer. I just heard a young man scream followed by a splash from over by the bluff." While they were talking the hermit left. He already said his thanks before the interruption and was about to leave anyway.

"So many customer. Good thing Cistern filled yesterday." The Guide gets up and comes back out of the Hut again. Not too far away we see the Panda knock out Ranma. But before Genma goes into gloating mode his stomach rumbles. "If you not hear other customer I probably start cooking for Panda customer."

"The scream came from over that way."

"Please show. I know it risk but no want man drown twice same day." With a sigh Daniel leads the way. Genma starts foraging not even realizing he could eat the Bamboo yet and trying to find an animal or some berries like he would usually have the boy collect for him to eat.

"Hey look there's a pack floating at the edge of that one." They both move closer. A small creature is clinging to the pack. 'I guess it's before Ryouga started carrying that Umbrella his pack would never have floated with that thing attached.'

"Customer fall in "Spring of Drowned Black Piglet" very..." the tail gets interrupted by Daniel.

"I'm sorry but didn't you say you wanted me to show you to him to avoid his drowning twice in the same day? Could the tale wait until after you get him out?" The Guide nods then starts going the other way around one of the springs to get to the piglet. Daniel carefully starts making his way back out of the springs. Sadly the Hermit lost track of one of his recently made frogs and it hops onto his bare foot the moist feel of the amphibian skin startling him and making him jump taking him into his own spring.

The Guide is soon at the spring of his 5th customer of the day. He's carrying the pack and the Piglet "See you is Customer. You fall in not so tragic "Spring of Nearly drown wingless flying girl." Story of girl who fall in spring but get saved by man in white coat and taken away through a hole in the sky 15 year ago."

Getting out of the water Daniel has been changed to an approximately 13 year old girl with Strawberry blond hair. ^It wasn't on purpose something slimy was on my foot.^

^You Sir speak Japanese and English? But last night you say you only speak English?^ From this point on I'm going to switch the ^^ to English and "" to Japanese it will be easier since more characters know and speak Japanese now.


"Don't tell me. Let me guess Some of the springs have curses that effect knowledge or personality right?"

"Few change personality like Spring of Drown Virtuous Man. But never hear of spring teach language before." The pig wakes up and gives a small squeal. "But we get you to Hut and change you and Mr Customer back and see about two other Mr Customers before Panda eat house."

"If I knew where the fresh water spring was I'd go fetch more. Last night you said you were planning for two customers and clearly made preparations in case of what just happened to me but now there have been Five." They get clear of the springs and continue on toward the house.

"No worry always expect few extra customer. We fill Cistern because there no rain last few weeks. But now is Customers rain be back soon." Opening the door to let them inside.

"It almost sounds like you let the Martial Artists get to the springs because without them it might have stayed dry longer." They both stop seeing Genma/Panda heating water in a giant Wok. "I'll get the rice don't let him cook the other customer." Daniel goes through the third of 3 doors off the main room of the hut. The first being a small bathroom of sorts the second being Plumb's room and the third being the store room or pantry.

"Growf?" The Panda spots the Pig and starts salivating.

"No Sir Customer is not for eating." ::The guide gets a tea pot that isn't steaming and pours a little on the back of his hand before using it to reverse the Pig's curse. "See is person not pork. Cold water activate curse. Warm water reverse until next time get wet by cold water." The guide then pours the rest of that kettle onto Genma.

"Um how come he has clothes on and I don't."

"Sorry Mr Customer. Bigger Animals end up keeping clothes sometime, little ones not so often. I have your pack." The guide gives the soaked pack back to it's owner. "Maybe need dry a little. I get robe."

Ryouga takes a close look at Genma. "Don't I know you from somewhere?" He pauses but only for a moment. "Aren't you Mr Saotome? Ranma's father?"

"And your the Hibiki boy. Worthless brat refused to continue our trip because of some fight you never showed up for."

"I got there on the 4th day and no one was there!"

Coming back out of the pantry. "Oh jeese can't you guys wait until he has some clothes on?" Not really aware of it Daniel ends up blushing nearly as much as Ryouga. The still wet white dress shirt doesn't leave much for the Hibiki boy's imagination.

"Sir here is robe to use 'til clothes dry. Sory if it a bit big no have many."

Ryouga dives for the robe getting covered quickly. "Um where's Ranma?"

"If I'm reading figures correctly."Daniel pointedly looks at Genma's waist. "I'd say he knocked Ranma out so that he wouldn't have to share whatever he could find to eat."

"What are you implying Girl." Genma replies with more than a hint of a growl.

"Only that you knocked out this Ranma person then looked for food without intending to share it with him. He's probably close by so I'll go out and look for him. Hopefully I won't have to go near the springs again. Maybe after I get back we can all have proper introductions and some food." She heads out quickly spotting Ranma before completing a circle of the Hut.

"What's her problem? She doesn't look Chinese is she adopted?"

"No He other customer that listen to warnings and try stay dry but fail." With a sigh the guide picks up the bowl of uncooked rice from the table. "At least he dry 'til try help."

"So he became a worthless girl too."

"What do you mean too?" Ryouga doesn't really believe the young girl that just left was ever a guy but can't avoid being curious about what the fat martial artist just said.

"Oh the shame to have such a worthless son that he would let himself get cursed to be..." The door slams open hitting Genma in the gut cutting off his rant.

"Just like I thought. Left her laid out on the ground right out in the open. It's a good thing those Musk you mentioned last night weren't around they probably would have locked her and carted her off by now."

"That's Ranma?" Ryouga's disbelief continues to grow. "Wait she's the girl who kicked me off the cliff!"

"She might not have even seen you if she was still after the panda." Nodding at Genma. "I saw him knock the guy into the spring of drowned girl even after he had been changed. It's not like a little listening couldn't have kept her high and dry."

"Turn about is fair play. He deserved what he got for making me a Panda." Genma puffs up crossing his arms.

The Jusenkyo Guide gets another tea kettle that has just started to lightly steam and pours it over the two girl curse forms turning them back to their Male forms. "You is no fighting in here. No space."

"I'm not a fighter. I know better than to fight a Martial artist with fists. If I even tried it might as well be marked up as suicide." Sitting down at the table and putting his Pith Helmet back on. "I'm kinda surprised that Genma appears to be carrying more weight than me. I mean I spent years doing nothing but using my computer but this guy is skilled enough to do those leaps. I have to wonder just how much do you eat to keep that flab?"

"It's all Muscle and I don't have to stand here and be insulted by a weak Gaijin."

"No you don't. And may I suggest the Hut would feel a little less crowded if you sat down." I gesture to an empty chair next to him. "As far as the insult goes you don't exactly gain muscle mass like that unless you spend allot of your time doing little more than sitting and balancing your Torso."

"I have a question. Just how old are you?" Ryouga is trying hard to keep up with all the changes to his world view and is now more than a little mentally lost instead of physically for once.

"Well unless I ended up in another time or my curse ends up messing with my real age some time down the line last I checked I was 30." A Groan follows his statement coming from Ranma laying on the only bed in this room.

"Baka Oyaji"

"It's your own fault for slacking off in your training." Genma takes an imperious tone.

"I say it's more like the Father's fault for starving his kid. Ribs aren't that apparent on accident."

"Mr Customers, now that we all awake we have introduction." The guide tries to stave off another argument.

"Well since I'm the guest who's been here longer I guess I'll go first. My name is Daniel Thomas Stack a resident of Reno, Nevada in the United States. I wonder if I set any records for staying dry as a guest before falling into the spring of, what did you call it, Wingless flying girl?"

"Maybe should change to Almost Drown Young Japanese Wingless Flying Girl." The guide tries to help out.

"I'm Genma Saotome, Grandmaster of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts. And my" Interrupted by Ranma.

"I can speak for myself Pops. I'm Ranma Saotome of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts." He finishes with a slight glare to his father.

"I'm Ryouga Hibiki and I was chasing Ranma for running out on our Man to Man Fight."

"Ryouga when did you get here? And I waited 3 days in that field behind your house before Pops here hit me over the head with somethin' and dragged me off."

"And Customers all call me Jusenkyo Guide." Checking the Wok. "I think Rice ready now."

"I think it might be better if I get some water and switch form. I don't want to be the target of too many cool water accidents." Daniel gets up and goes to the bathroom for more discrete access to a sink. 'I doubt any of them will care just wanting to stay in birth form.'

"What did he mean cool water accidents?" Ryouga and Ranma say almost simultaneously.

"Mr. Customer meant he want be girl to avoid being splashed by cool water. Is part of curse to make you get splashed so you not spend all time as if you not cursed." The guide starts setting out some plates and dishing up rice with pickled vegetables.

Daniel returns with her clothes adjusted to look better while in cursed form. The pants have been cuffed up and are still insanely over sized but the way the green cloth belt is cinched up they aren't falling off and the shirt looks almost like a tent on her. "That and with most of the cold water close to us carrying other curses why take the risk? It's not the end of the world to spend some time as a girl."

"Speak for yourself." Ranma grumbles.

"Well you spent a little time as a girl earlier and the world does still appear to be here. So in the most literal way can't ya just go with it?" Sitting back down and starting on the rice. "It's not like you won't ever be a girl again Ranma. I mean it's just a bit of cold water away."

Genma storms out of the Hut after having stolen most of Ranma's meal. 'There's no way that girl was ever a man. What does the honor less twit think she's doing to my boy. I'll show her later. There was a spring that made this mess so there has to be one to fix it.'

Back inside Daniel continues. "What's so different or bad about girls anyway?"

"Their a distraction from the art, their weak and stupid." Ranma stops talking seeing that no one appears to believe the facts. 'I'm not gonna be a weak silly little girl!'

"The way you were chasing down the panda earlier didn't look weak to me."

"You wouldn't understand. You ain't a Martial artist."

I know exactly what Genma is going to do and people in Spamville can make educated guesses but I wanted to get some input before going much further. So how is it going for a Self insert so far?
Last edited by Spokavriel on Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Spokavriel » Sun Oct 19, 2008 1:21 pm

This is discouraging. The Martial Artist bit in the last line is the wrong tone for the moment "I'm not a girl!" fits better.

But aside from that I guess I should at least describe the world and what I'm intending.

In the Story world the Tenchi OVA along with Kiyone as a Mihoshi partner and GxP elements are off in their area, the Sailor Senshi are in Juban, The Diggers are all over the place. Events from any of them might make news now and again but probably won't effect the Ranma plot. The main disturbance to the Ranma events will be me trying to be in the story typing myself acting as I would given the circumstances. Things that aren't directly influenced by the main plot events will hopefully be brought in, in order, and hopefully with similar timing to how they originally occurred.

Physically in the near future in the plot Genma's going to do something really stupid and end up making it so I can't even prove with my ID in my wallet that I am still me making it so I can't really up and leave easily.

Ryouga is also going to get lost because if you look at the Anime and Manga he wasn't an umbrella swinging fighter until after some of his adventures while cursed. He has to get lost for those to happen. He has his more concrete reasons to blame Ranma for his curse already but taking into account the first time almost being eaten has been averted that will have some effect.

The main reason to have those other series going on in the background is to leave opportunities for cameos and maybe even getting Ranma to Jade without being a stinkin were-cat. Nothing against Weres but it's overdone. I also do want to keep the Uncles idea on the table. Nabiki having that kind of marketing idea is just too good and I like the family relations.

For the Uncles family tree I see Genma as the father of Hotaru's Mother. And the mad Professor as a Son of Ryouga's mother, given up for adoption before she married his father because it was an early teen pregnancy. If it is a Hibiki Family curse that way he's not part of that family.

The story also won't follow me to exclusion of other's introspections and events that don't involve me. I'm just curious if this is a way to get dropped in that doesn't kill any chance at fiction plausibility?

I might also later on bring the dolls back in. But I don't really see any reason to drag in any of their cannon events. Chances are if they do get involved it would be allot later on and I'm already imagining ways to get Gos into that mess.

As for getting Japanese language skills from the spring of nearly drowned wingless flying Japanese girl. The White light taught Peach Japanese and almost everything that wasn't already human clearly learned it from the Black Light in PPGZ. Also when you think about the trip back in time to collect more white light the Mona Lisa and Cleopatra were clearly using Language the girls could understand. I think I showed that they are in a parallel dimension well enough.

What will be exploited by Genma in the next bit is my painful tendency to sleep through anything. At least a year before I started coming to Fukufics I slept through my apartment being burglarized. Before that, when I was still living in Vegas, the building was on fire and about half an hour into the fire fighters dealing with it I woke up from the hoses thudding against my unit's door. The fire had been on the other side of the wall from where I was sleeping. In that same place people toppled the bunk bed I was in (I sleep top bunk in bunk beds) and I slept through it. They even one time recorded with a cam corder pouring at least a gallon of water over my head with ice cubes and it didn't wake me up. So can you guess how Genma will use that?

I believe in the butterfly effect and the main thing I hope to do in this is try to keep people in character based on how the story ends up going. If I get to a point where it becomes easy to bring in the other series for a crossover adventure then I will but I'm not doing any hard planning on this outside of trying to line up the time lines to keep track of the other possibilities.
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Postby Spokavriel » Fri Oct 31, 2008 12:01 am

I know there is nothing to keep me with the plot in what I have here but I haven't gotten any response on if the whole mirror thing is an alright way to get to Jusenkyo when that Anime is unlikely to have another cameo.

Basically I want to do a story where the Ranma 1/2 world still has it's events occur but instead of sticking to the script like I have seen painfully locked down in other fics I want to try to have the story progress with me there.

The reason I end up more or less stuck going along will be because of what Genma does next.

Outside Genma is watching the springs and worrying about himself. How can a Panda sneak into homes. Panda claws aren't exactly the best things to jimmy doors and windows with and he can't exactly make money last through the Rainy Season. Even if he hadn't sealed his Umi-senken arts he has no delusions about keeping a low profile as an endangered species. While all that is going through his mind he sees a frog splash down into one of the pools and come back out a man. He doesn't know the first thing about the springs because he didn't bother trying to pay attention to anything said by anyone that didn't involve food so far. The Springs rarely curse animals and that frog was under a magic curse from another source. His Karma brought him here to be granted as much of a release as could be afforded.

I get the idea that far and I do want Genma to use the water to mess me up but I just can't think out a way to have Genma do it. He may have been insulted but he doesn't have any real reason to care beyond himself and his student/victim/son Ranma.

My goal in the story at the point where it is could be summed up as find a computer with online access. With a computer I can find what I need to go home and contact relatives to help. But then some of my real life factors come into play like none of my family can exactly afford to help out. And then story factors. Ever see a computer in the Ranma 1/2 story? It's going to take going to a library and that is where I am now thinking to bring in the first Senshi cameo.

I want to end up with not being able to prove my identity even though I have my wallet with me. Not being in the right dimension would work I guess but I would rather have it be spring related and me just not matching my ID at all anymore.

Between having to survive. (I don't have any reason to join the Tendo Dojo freeloaders) which will involve work and research time going to libraries I hope to have some influence on the stories just by being there and still having Jubaan and Nerima events taking place. Maybe not in detail but enough for the story to get to where the Uncles plot line can take place and everyone involved is introduced.

It's just that I'm not sure what kind of tone to set or how to go into all this without being certain my addition into the fic can work as it is.

Edit: Ok I was having a blank moment. I do remember what I was going to have Genma do. After seeing the frog he jumps in and discovers the curses mix. Then he gets a bright idea. Hot water changes you back. So why not heat up water from that spring and try it. By the time he gets to where he is thinking about it though Ryouga is already lost and he went into the water in birth form when the curses mixed so he wants to try the heated water on someone in curse form but won't risk his own son. In this fic Heated Jusenkyo also curses just with reverse temp triggers to cold. And if you think about it there are times when the water getting to the springs has been hot or cold every couple hundred for the last multiple thousand as Saffron repeatedly ascends. So it's not a big stretch. Thing is that cursed frog took over 40 years to get to the spring and came out a teenager. It's kinda hard to prove you're 30 with an ID card that looks like it was swiped from your dad standing there at around 13-15 years old appearance. Bit of age bleed over from the first spring taking it a bit younger maybe.
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Postby Tovath » Fri Oct 31, 2008 11:33 am

Finally got around to reading this and I it did keep my attention long enough for me to finish which is good. Two things I have to say about it, First you keep slipping into present tense when you are writing which is rather jarring. Second you are coming as a mary sue. No one is going to act that calmly to getting a Jusenko curse.
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Postby Spokavriel » Fri Oct 31, 2008 12:16 pm

Present tense is intentional. Because for myself in the fic it is present time. I'm not sure what you mean by slipping into it. As far as not freaking out about the curse goes. Think back to what was seen in the Anime when they did the flash back for Moose he just walked into the pond and then started quacking. He didn't show a big reaction. Look at Genma he didn't realize anything was even up until after Ranma was dunked and changed. Why can't someone take it with good grace if they have knowledge of the curses and BS people with them end up going through?

Edit:And there is going to be some adverse reaction later after what Genma does. At least at this point in the fic I know I'm cursed and I've read enough to know that looking for cures is just about pointless. It's after I get used as a test subject for Genma trying to make a cure with water that can't do that making me effectively lose my legal identity, then is a better time in my mind for bigger reactions. But right now freaking out would be bitching at rain for being wet. What's the point? I knew it could happen and at least I didn't end up with one of the worse options. I guess I could have made a list with all sorts of potential curses and rolled a die for what I got but then I'd lose any chance at the kind of life I would want to have (or even be able to write) in the fic.
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Postby Spokavriel » Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:12 am

This idea is far from dead. I just ended up too busy to do any real thinking for a bit. I may not have ever written a fanfic before but I think I can get to the Uncles ideas on this. I made an addition to the Jusnekyo dunking moment. Here's the small edited text. It still might not be enough of a reaction to help with Tovath's complaint but without some over acceptance at this point. Since the possibility was known. The later part from Genmas actions would not have the contrast I want. After I have that written then if it needs more after getting out of the water it can still be edited. Its not like anything is carved in stone.

"I'm sorry but didn't you say you wanted me to show you to him to avoid his drowning twice in the same day? Could the tale wait until after you get him out?" The Guide nods then starts going the other way around one of the springs to get to the piglet.

Daniel carefully starts making his way back out of the springs. Sadly the Hermit lost track of one of his recently made frogs and it hops onto his bare foot the moist feel of the amphibian skin startling him and making him jump taking him into his own spring. "Yaahhhh..."

The Guide is soon at the spring of his 5th customer of the day watching for him to come back up. He's carrying the pack and the Piglet.

Daniel mentally grouses 'I knew I shouldn't have gone near the springs. I should have just let Genma find the piglet like I read and tried to save him before the Wok. But Noooo....' His sopping wet and now baggy clothes are making it harder to swim to the surface but are not falling off. 'At least I still have hands.'

"See you is Customer. You fall in not so tragic "Spring of Nearly drown wingless flying girl." Story of girl who fall in spring but get saved by man in white coat and taken away through a hole in the sky 15 year ago."

Getting out of the water Daniel has been changed to an approximately 13 year old girl with Strawberry blond hair. ^It wasn't on purpose something slimy was on my foot.^

^You Sir speak Japanese and English? But last night you say you only speak English?^

(From this point on I'm going to switch the ^^ to English and "" to Japanese it will be easier since more characters know and speak Japanese now.)
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Postby Spokavriel » Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:41 pm

The potential title I have come up with is "Twice Cursed Tag Along Spokavriel"

The reason for using my online handle in the title is because after getting to Japan I won't really have any way to prove my identity or go back home anyway. And I will end up meeting some people who know me from online.

Basic sequence of events:

Genma will get me cursed a second time trying to experiment with the Jusenkyo water that failed to cure him.

Genma sees frog become a man, Genma jumps in water, Panda and Man curses mix but it's not allot of a difference, Genma gets a bright idea to heat the water and guess who he uses as a test subject?

That will end up with a hot water and a cold water curse on me. The Hot water form will come out looking like Brick from PowerPuff Girls Z only with dark blond hair and blue eyes which will be the only features to carry over from my birth form. The reason for the form change is that the Girl Spring I landed in was not a random girl. Just like Spring of Almost Drowned Akane left Kimma looking just like Akane.

Genma and Ranma will end up having things happen similarly to how they did in canon and Genma will run off abandoning me in the village of the Amazons.

The way I get to Japan will be tagging along with Shampoo on her hunt to capture her Airen. Effectively Genma will have stolen my Identity from me and according to the Amazons he will have to take responsibility for my welfare. Not without some objections by me.

The fact I am tagging along will slow down the Airen hunt and make the chase back to Japan take longer.

Because a Hot Water and a Cold Water curse at the same time is a bit different I figured I would make a more specific list of trigger temps. It won't come up much but I figure it can help me remember to have more side effects from the situation.

Temp = Result
000-075 = Girl
076-105 = Change no matter current gender. (Summer rain storms are going to suck)
106-125 = Male Warm but not boiling
126-212 = Still Male but it hurts.
212+ Water is usually steam, steam doesn't trigger a change.

My main slow down is that I am going over all the Sailor Moon stuff I have on hand to be able to get this all to work together.

Most of my life is spent online and I do have people I type with in no fewer than 13 nations.
So in story even though I don't know her real name I'm going to have it so that I traded instant messages with at least one of the Senshi. I'll end up meeting them at a library later on in the story. My wallet will give me away.
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I have my Autobot and Decepticon overlay image with the red light and altered Final Fantasy Sprites glued on it.

And this will end up in an Uncles type plot I will just end up being one of the people who has time to be sent around to libraries and other districts to research and maybe even run papers for Nabiki to start sales of the NWC merchandise.

It's a really long way around to it but at least living between the edges of the chaos of Sailor Moon and Ranma will give plenty ideas to over hear and to work on.
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