Daimakaicho Ranma 9

Bridging the gap between Ideas and C&C.

Post individual scenes that need doctoring, outlines, or other detail work that isn't quite ready for the C&C thread.

Daimakaicho Ranma 9

Postby Tuisto » Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:21 am

Lucky number 9...

Opening scene.

It was slowly approaching dusk over the Nekomi Temple, as the blue skies of the day were being replaced by the streaking of golden orange hues painting the skies in the perpetual preparation for the onset of evening.
Lizasa sat off the back porch dangling his legs over the edge as he held a mostly melted ice-pack to his swelled and bruised face.

Earlier in the day the two groups of goddess’ and demoness’ mostly separated and kept to themselves as they busied themselves as best they could.

‘I’m surprised there’s not been a fatality yet…’ Lizasa thought to himself with some wry humor, at a particular incident where Urd had asked Skuld why the TV picture was so bright and crisp. Skuld herself was immediately curious, so she set off to find out how a 30 year old radiation-box like Keiichi’s TV could get HD crystal-clarity. She found the reason being Banpei had been lashed to the TV roof-antenna like a giant, brightly colored roof ornament.
Needless to say that she was –less- than pleased and immediately accused first Ranma, then Mara, then Hild, then called them all co-conspirators as she spieled into a rant-fit…
Needless to say that they emphatically denied it but the small smiles weren’t really convincing of their innocence. Banpei not willing to come within 4 meters of Hild though was a clincher.
Needless to say that Skuld went into a screaming tantrum at the three demoness’s for their abuse of Banpei-kun… that is until Mara had just bent herself down to Skuld’s level, grinned like an idiot and whispered something into the pint-sized goddess’s ear. Skuld on her part just became –real- quiet, turned –blue-, backed away slowly from the blond devil and then ran for the bathroom.

‘And here I thought this kind of insanity only happened in Nerima…’ Lizasa thought to himself at the memory.

Suddenly, a frosty brown bottle of beer came into Lizasa’s field of vision, looking up he saw the Morisato boy holding said beer out for him with a nervous smile. Nodding to the boy, he gratefully took the proffered bottle, first put it to his chin with a relieved groan then took a long relieved swig.
Keiichi sat down next to the kami-spirit and sipped at his own cold bottle as he too watched the sky. After several silent moments Keiichi asked, “So… what do think about all this with Hild-san coming here with that new redhead demon chick?”

Lizasa chuckled, then groaned in pain, and said, “First boy, don’t let Ranma hear you call her… him… her… whatever a ‘chick’. She’d probably pull you’re spine out through your nipples.”
Seeing Keiichi’s eyes expand and his chin drop, Lizasa couldn’t help but to laugh through his pain, and then said, “Settle boy, it was a joke…”
“A bad one…” Keiichi mumbled recalling how literal some super-natural beings could be.
“… and honestly anything that involves Hild, I’m not sure what to think.” Lizasa seeing Keiichi’s question continued. “See, today was the first day I’ve ever met The Daimakaicho, praise God for small miracles that that’s the case, so I’m at a loss just going by memory at some of the reports and second hand stories about Hild I’ve heard as I’ve been working in the Spirit Relief Office.”

Swallowing a knot in his throat, Keiichi asked, “How bad could this all be then?”

The grey haired spirit held up his bottle to look at the setting sun through the amber glass, with a sigh he said, “Hild is the TOP demon for a reason… did you know other, lesser demons even pray to and worship her?”
Keiichi shook his head ‘no’.
“Yeah… well… if even a fraction of a fraction of what I’ve read and heard is true, and I’d be inclined to believe it was far more than that… well let’s just say that her being here, with the notorious Mara and a fighting genius like Ranma, who are both exceedingly dangerous in their own, while she’s scheming something, all the while there’s the Three Norns here…” he paused to comb his fingers through his hair. “… let’s say that I’m piss scared and leave it to that.”

With wide eyes Keiichi asked in a panicked voice, “It can’t be –THAT- bad… can it? I mean, you work for the gods’ right? And Hild seems just like some eccentric…”

Lizasa shook his head sadly and said, “Boy, I’m going to say this very clearly. Hild is the opposite of Kami-Sama. While HE’S The Creator, SHE is Destruction. She could probably vaporize the entire Solar System with an absent thought –IF- she wasn’t wearing all of those limiters on her body, clothes and hair. Mara… well her own peculiar mark of influence can be seen in some of the worst horrors and atrocities in human history, and then there’s Ranma… when Ranma was alive and just a mortal he could form energy blasts, make tornados to swallow his opponent, split mountains in twain… he even slayed a demi-god named Saffron. And by comparison, I don’t think I could’ve fared so well against Saffron, he was a beast of a fighter in terms of power. So yeah, with all of them in one place like this on Midgard, I think I’m justified in being scared spitless.”

Lizasa took one last swig of his bottle to empty it and said quietly, “And I shudder to think what’ll happen when Ranma comes into whatever powers Hild has given her.”

“What do you mean; don’t gods and demons just sort of use their powers when they get them?” Keiichi asked quietly, still digesting the bleak picture Lizasa had painted.

“No boy, gods and demons, when they are young only have the most basic rudimentary powers of their race; they have to go through a sort of…” Lizasa paused to think of a word, “… ‘puberty’ I guess you could call it so they can grow into their powers without accidentally blowing something up. Like Skuld, she’s just begun entering this type of ‘puberty’ in earnest. But with Ranma… only Hild knows what’ll happen there I’m afraid.”

With that said the two men just sat quietly, only the sounds of Keiichi sipping at his bottle and the chirps of birds breaking the odd silence. And truth be told, it was the silence that was most nerve wracking to Keiichi after hearing Lizasa speak.

Suddenly a feminine cry split the air, coming from within the house.
“That was Ranma’s voice…” Lizasa said quietly with narrowed eyes.
Keiichi nervously looked to the spirit and asked, “Should we… ah… go and see if there’s a problem?”
At first Lizasa wanted to say ‘are you nuts?!’ but instead said haltingly, “No… I don’t think so… we’d probably just be in the way if there’s a problem…”
“Good point…” agreed Morisato.
“So…”
“Yeah…”
“Up for a game of Shogi?”
“Sounds good. I’ll set the tiles…”



next scene we get to see a realization from Ranma as she sees the 24 hour mark since her death and the lingering shock from Th'rignal begins to wear-off, and then a little tiff with Urd-chan...
I hope you all appreciate the amount of psychoanalysis work I'm doing here to make this credible with true, realistic reactions...
Obfirmo absentis sententia... Imperium mens...
Tuisto
User avatar
Chibi Sailor Senshi
Posts: 382
 

Postby Musouka » Wed Feb 13, 2008 2:28 am

Sweet! Can't wait for the rest of it.

Lizasa chuckled, then groaned in pain, and said, “First boy, don’t let Ranma hear you call her… him… her… whatever a ‘chick’. She’d probably pull you’re spine out through your nipples.”


:oops: :lol:
Musouka
User avatar
Chibi Sailor Senshi
Posts: 276
 

Postby Dumbledork » Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:46 am

Oh, that was good. I have the impression that the goddesses will ^have to suffer some more before Ranma and Co go away.

Keiichi must have been happy after what happened to Banpei.
And that's the bottom line 'cause Dumbledork said so.

Dumbledork 3:16
Dumbledork
User avatar
Prism Power Senshi
Posts: 3343
 

Postby borgrabbit » Sat Mar 08, 2008 10:45 pm

I am just waiting for when the fecal material hits the rotating, oscillating blades.
So, will Ranma have a short puberty? She could and should have a session where Thrig'nal (sp?) gets his comeuppance.
Wes
Old fart.

Diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Today's cliche is next century's classic.
borgrabbit
User avatar
Chibi Sailor Senshi
Posts: 349
 

Postby Tuisto » Sun Mar 09, 2008 1:34 am

You'll have to wait 'till chapter 10 to see Ranma meet backup with the Nerima gang.
Of course, -THAT's- just when the story is going to really pickup...

As far as Ranma's "puberty" or whathaveyou, it'll be short enough to be ultimately victorious, but still long enough that s/he'll be "beat down, and kicked hard" a good bit. And of course there's a "session" with Th'rignal. :wink:

I dearly -HOPE- to have chap 9 posted in a week, once the cast comes off my hand... :cry:
Obfirmo absentis sententia... Imperium mens...
Tuisto
User avatar
Chibi Sailor Senshi
Posts: 382
 

Postby Tuisto » Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:39 am

This is a lead-up to the final scene (cue the blood!) of this chapter and I keep thinking that it's missing something... it's obviously the first introduction of the first demon that will lead Ranma into her Daimakaicho-hood. But I'm really trying to set the scene. So, any ideas?

Meanwhile on the other side of the planet, a street urchin dressed in the remains of rags and tatters by the name of Jacob huddled himself in tighter into his makeshift home of wood-pallets and cardboard in a small back alley as the morning sun moving across the sky disturbed the man and his rest after the long cold night.

The more than ten years on the street had not been kind to Jacob; his withered and emaciated body was riddled with disease, his yellow skin and eyes being testament to that. And beside his ‘home’ in this anonymous back alley was his bank of all his worldly possessions; a shopping cart he purloined and filled with what most people would call trash, but not Jacob, like so many other street-wanders, everything in that cart was a treasure that would help keep him alive.

He of course, hadn’t always been like this, he realized. Once he was a moderately successful grocery supplier, selling ice to all the greens and meat markets. But he knew his downturn came when his lusts for gambling overrode his sense and he started going to the ‘wrong people’ in ever higher stakes gambling that eventually pulled him into the path of drugs… then his wife, unable to take his abuse anymore divorced him, taking their 7 year old son with her… Then came the ‘borrowers’ he’d lent from seeking back their payments, then he lost his house… it was all a fast moving downward spiral in which Jacobs small stress-relief hobby had cost him everything.

Jacob stirred again under his cardboard blanket as an electric prickling seemed to spread over his body, briefly he wondered if this was it, if he was finally having a heart attack that would end him and his wretched life. He prayed it was so.

It didn’t; instead the electric feeling seemed to fill the air, so slowly he opened his blurry eyes and sat-up against the brickwall of the building he was next to, and took stock of what was happening, as the electric air began to become oppressive in it’s pressure, and small gusts of wind started to blow trash around in the confined space of the alley.

Rapidly Jacobs eyes widened to witness small arcs of electricity begin to form and lash out from the rainspouts and trash dumpsters, even as the wind intensified to the point where he had to bring his arm up to shied his face from the torrent of highly charged air.

Suddenly it all stopped, leaving a calm quite as the litter began to settle back to the ground, Jacob feeling as though what-ever that was had passed began the arduous process of standing up, when without warning the electrical arcs returned, magnified a hundred-fold in intensity lashing out against any conductive surface, and then there was the bang, almost as powerful and a summertime thunderclap it rang out through the alley as it was accompanied by a momentary blinding flash of pink light.

Jacob began to blink the stars out of his eyes as the ringing in his head slowly lessened. When he finally was able to see scant moments later, the sight before him took his breath away, as there standing in the midst of falling debris was a woman, a tall blond beauty the likes of which Jacob had never seen before. She was dressed in a simple midriff revealing violet mini-jacket and navy blue skirt that bordered on indecent… and she completely ignored him as she stared at her right hand as she flexed it open and closed, as if testing it.

After almost a minute she finally noticed where she was and then grimaced, shook her head in disappointment and said in a perfect sultry voice, “An alley, a stupid dank alley, how cliché can I be? Jeez… ”

Her gaze then noticed Jacob, and she stared at her witness with an intensity that made Jacob tremor with fear. Not the kind of fear he’d felt when staring down the hard and murderous gazes of the local drug dealers who might’ve killed him on a whim; no the fear this woman inspired came right from the depths of his soul.

“Hello Jacob.” She said pleasantly as she began to walk sensually towards him, as he tried to press himself harder against the unyielding brickwall.

When she was within arms reach, she smiled at him showing her perfect white teeth and reached into her violet mini-jacket and pulled out a single shiny brass coin.

She then spoke again in a playful tone, “Jacob, you were a naughty boy, watching me materialize on Midgard like that, but I have a solution! So, care to make a little bet?”

He tentatively opened his mouth, and after several seconds of shaking managed to whisper out through his cracking and horse voice, “w-what k-kind of bet?”

Her eyes lit up with glee as she said playfully, “A very simple one!” she held up the face of the large brass coin showing a bearded man’s face in profile, “Heads’s I win, and you die, or…” she flipped the coin around showing the reverse of an Elephant, “… Tails and you live. Do you agree?”

Without thinking he nodded slightly, and she exclaimed, “Excellent!” as she flicked the coin with a audible ‘ting’ into the air where it flashed and tumbled randomly, her hands then moved fast grabbing the spinning coin from the air and slapping it to the back of her hand, covered. She then held out her left hand that had her right clasped tightly over it, to Jacob for his inspection. She then drew he right hand away revealing the side of the coin the determined Jacobs fate.

She looked annoyed at the result and said, “It’s Tails, you win… looks like this is your lucky day Jacob…”

“H-how do you k-know my name?” he managed to stutter-out in his relief and fear.

She took several steps back, nearing the main street-side entrance to the alley and said whimsically with a broad smile, “Silly human, I’m Empusa, the Grand Demoness of Lust. And I know –you- Jacob Smalley –very- well.” she winked at him.

There and then the light shifted a small measure for Jacob and he saw the perfect visage of the so-named ‘Empusa’, but moreover he saw her shadow cast along the wall of the alley, a huge hideously grotesque horned shadow that loomed over the all-too perfect woman, her shadow showing her true horror.

Tears began to drip from Jacobs eyes and into his scraggly beard as he also soiled his already filthy pants, he began to realize something… something dangerous… he mumbled, “oh… oh no… oh God…”

Empusa tilted her head and looked to Jacob queerly and said, “God?” she then smiled broadly and said, “No… not Yet…” and with that she casually walked out of the alley and into the throng of people moving on the sidewalks as they do in any bustling city. And after Empusa had left the alley Jacob fell to his hand and knees and threw-up as the emotional toll of the encounter and realization caught-up to him, as he mumbled to himself, “repent… demons walk among us...”

Obfirmo absentis sententia... Imperium mens...
Tuisto
User avatar
Chibi Sailor Senshi
Posts: 382
 

Postby Ellen Kuhfeld » Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:08 am

...the two groups of goddess’ and demoness’ mostly separated and kept to themselves...
Goddesses, demonesses. The apostrophe doesn't do plurals.

She’d probably pull you’re spine out through your nipples.
your

...a street urchin dressed in the remains of rags and tatters by the name of Jacob...
The rags and tatters are named Jacob? What's the urchin's name? Incidentally, an urchin is usually prepubescent.

Heads’s I win...
Heads

...the side of the coin the determined Jacobs fate.
that
Visit Big Washuu's Lab of Arcane Knowledge at http://washuu.net
Ellen Kuhfeld
User avatar
Sailor Starlight
Posts: 2228
 

Postby Tuisto » Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:49 am

The rags and tatters are named Jacob? What's the urchin's name? Incidentally, an urchin is usually prepubescent.

Okay... slight confusion there... got any other american sayings to describe a homeless man?
I thought about "hobo" but doesn't the refer to wandering train riders?
Obfirmo absentis sententia... Imperium mens...
Tuisto
User avatar
Chibi Sailor Senshi
Posts: 382
 

Postby Dumbledork » Sat Mar 15, 2008 1:01 pm

other designations for a homeless person? These three come to mind: tramp, vagrant, and bum
Last edited by Dumbledork on Sat Mar 15, 2008 1:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
And that's the bottom line 'cause Dumbledork said so.

Dumbledork 3:16
Dumbledork
User avatar
Prism Power Senshi
Posts: 3343
 

Postby Ellen Kuhfeld » Sat Mar 15, 2008 1:06 pm

Well, the word "bum" is occasionally used. But these days, "homeless" is more politically correct. It read like he'd established himself in that alley, so "transient" wouldn't work. There is no real masculine equivalent to "bag lady", which otherwise would fit the description. He isn't begging, so "mendicant" wouldn't work.

There is a line in the Red Clay Ramblers' Merchant's Lunch:

From these helpless accidents
Of Fortune's careless aim ...

I'd go with a visual, and skip the noun; describe a huddled clump of newspapers (or whatever) that began to shift and revealed a man ...
Visit Big Washuu's Lab of Arcane Knowledge at http://washuu.net
Ellen Kuhfeld
User avatar
Sailor Starlight
Posts: 2228
 

Postby Dumbledork » Sat Mar 15, 2008 1:24 pm

Bah, political correctness. Just as stupid as affirmative action. Useful if used sparingly but with all the abuse that has been done to both notions...
And that's the bottom line 'cause Dumbledork said so.

Dumbledork 3:16
Dumbledork
User avatar
Prism Power Senshi
Posts: 3343
 

Postby borgrabbit » Sat Mar 15, 2008 7:55 pm

Dumbledork
Bah, political correctness. Just as stupid as affirmative action.


It was correct to say that my significant other's grandad died a gutter bum after a lifetime of dissipation and wanton cruelty toward his family.
Don't know about politicks. Last good thing he ever did was to be a medschool cadaver. Not by his choice, heh. Funeral was closed casket.
Wes
Old fart.

Diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Today's cliche is next century's classic.
borgrabbit
User avatar
Chibi Sailor Senshi
Posts: 349
 

Postby Tuisto » Sun Mar 16, 2008 8:25 pm

I have some terrible news, my laptop has just expired eirlier today, good news is I had almost everything really really important backed-up(like custom programmes, taxes, anime...), bad news is that the COMPLETED (and was ready for C&C chap of Daimakaicho Ranma #9 wasn't backed liked everything else, nor were the incomplete chaps of 10, 11 and 12. Just under 50,000 words of text... :cry:
And trust me, I tried everything to try and fix it, even DOS command script in the base repair utility... nada... Now tomorrow I'll head out and see if the local shop can't mirror/copy all the files from the deceased HD into an external drive. I'm holding out no hope.

Just goes to show you that you shoudn't ignore a boot.ini. warning when it causes everything else to spiral downwards into the blackhole of all sys. failure errors... :cry:
Obfirmo absentis sententia... Imperium mens...
Tuisto
User avatar
Chibi Sailor Senshi
Posts: 382
 

Postby Ellen Kuhfeld » Sun Mar 16, 2008 9:42 pm

Something died. But are you sure it was the hard drive? If you can lay hands on a USB case to put the drive in, you may find everything happily at home. Worked for a friend of mine.
Visit Big Washuu's Lab of Arcane Knowledge at http://washuu.net
Ellen Kuhfeld
User avatar
Sailor Starlight
Posts: 2228
 

Postby ranmas » Mon Mar 17, 2008 2:24 am

If it was only an boot.ini error you will get everything you had on it. If you have corrupted sectors on the hard drive you may not get it all back.

There are adapters you can buy so you can plug notebook hard drives into your pc with an ide cable. They are not that expensive, and could possibly make backing up your drive easier. Depending on how hard it is to pull your drive from the laptop.
ranmas
Senshi Cadet
Posts: 58
 

Next

Return to Outlines and Scenes

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users