Growing up the right way ch2

[jasonjkay]

This is a really rough draft of chapter 2 of my story that iv'e been working on and off for a while. I hope I placed this in the right section. Chapter 1 can be found at http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3590911/1/Growing_up_the_right_way
Im looking for feedback and maybe some ideas before I write this up properly.

growing up the right way

chapter 2
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In a parallel universe three years in the past a young red-haired girl faded into view in a quite park during the early morning. 'Hmm, mothers house should be around here somewhere' she thought to herself. 'I'll have to camp out for a while until I can meet mother in public, then I'll get her to love and adopt me.'

She walked around the park, looking for a suitable place for a camp-site for the night. She spots a small clearing between several trees that looked perfect.

As she approached she could here whispers. 'Damn, I cant camp here.' She turned to leave when her curiosity got the better of her. She snuck closer until she could make out several large men huddled together whispering furiously. She was just about to leave when one of the spotted her.

"Sh#*t, there's someone there" one of the men shouted out. The others jumped up and rush towards Ranko.

Ranko paled "EEEPP!" she jumped up and ran from the clearing as fast as her short legs could carry her. She looked over her shoulder and noticed the guys catching up to her, 'Damn, I'm too young to fight them... but if I don't they'll attack me anyway.'

She stopped running and reversed her direction, running straight into the guy in the middle. They all registered a moment of confusion and shock before the middle thug went down clutching his balls. Ranko had ran at him full paced and smacked her small fist into his sensitive area. 'Normally I would never resort to dirty tricks, but I'll never defeat them as I am. My strength, speed and Ki are all much smaller than they were. I guess my younger body cant handle it.'

The other thugs quickly got over there shock after wincing in sympathy pain. The largest thug stepped forwards towards Ranko and snarled. "That's the last mistake you'll ever make you little bi*#h." He swung a massive arm at the red-haired girl who quickly dodged from the slow moving appendage. He attacked several more time, none of them hit.

Ranko was seriously worried. Although the thug was slow enough to dodge, she was outnumbered and it would only take one hit to take her down whilst the thugs would be hard to take down with her current body. She quickly analysed the situation and came up with a quick plan.

As the other thugs started to surround her she continued to dodge there blows, but it was getting harder as the attacks were coming from all sides. She put her plan into action and taunted the biggest thug. "Hey moron, you couldn't hit me even if I was tied down."

The Big thug turned red and pushed his attacks harder. "You'll regret this you little twerp." He growls. He pulls back his fist and sends it straight towards Ranko who dodged at the last second. His fist continued and ploughed straight into one of the other thugs knocking him out.

'Yes, it worked. I doubt he'll fall for it again though.'

The large thug was now beyond furious. He fainted an attack to the red-heads right, which she dodged. He quickly shoved his head down in the direction he assumed she would dodge, there heads met in an almighty head but that nearly knocked Ranko out.

'AAARRRGGHH... Damn I should have been more careful.' She jumped away and almost fell over from a dizzy spell when she landed. The distraction was enough for one of the other thugs to catch her in the side with a bat. With a loud crack, the bat impacted with her ribs crushing several of them with ease. She fell to the ground writhing around in pain and coughing up blood.

The largest thug nodded to the other thugs, they all moved away. "Stupid little girl, nobody opposes us." He glared down at Ranko's prone figure and kicked her in the stomach. she screamed and curled up into ball, blood dribbled from her mouth. He was about to deliver another kick when he noticed a red-headed women rapidly approaching with a drawn katana, ready to slice him down. He quickly signalled to the other thugs and they all ran off, leaving the first thug that Ranko attacked behind.

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Nodoka was out for her early morning walk before attending to her housework. She liked walking through the park because it reminded her of the joy she used to share with her son Ranma before he went on the training trip with Genma.

She sighed to herself. 'Why did I have to let them go on that trip? They've been gone eight years already... I hope I can see my baby soon.' She quickly diverted her mind from the depressing thoughts and looked up at the morning sky. The sun was just rising and it looked beautiful, the air was also cool and crisp. She could smell the flowers that were planted throughout the park.

Just as she was about to head back she thought she heard a girl squeal in pain. She quickly looked around the park until she came across a group of thugs standing around a little red-haired girl that was on the ground, bleeding from her mouth.

Nodoka Slipped her Katana from the coverings and advanced towards the thugs intending to save the girl. As she neared she saw the large thug kick the girl who screamed out in pain. She moved faster and advanced on the thugs swinging her katana around. The large thug was about to kick the girl again when he noticed Nodoka. All the thugs quickly dispersed.

Nodoka would have chased after the thugs if she wasn't so worried about the girl's health. She bent down and examined the whimpering girl. She noticed that the girls ribs were broken and that her stomach looked to be in bad shape. She gently picked up the little girl who cried out in pain. Clear blue eyes opened and looked into Nodoka's blue eyes. The girls eyes widened at seeing Nodoka's face and then flicked to her hair, at seeing the red hair she promptly fainted.

Nodoka was amazed at the blue eyes and red hair of the little girl. 'It's almost as if she could be my child.' She gently carried the unconscious girl towards her house. Inside the Saotome house she place Ranko down onto a settee and quickly called for the police and an ambulance.

Several police officers came quickly, Nodoka invited them in and led them to Ranko. They examined Ranko who was still asleep, they paled as they saw the amount of damage done to the little girl.

"Can you tell us anything about who did this atrocious crime?" one of the officers asked.

"I was out for my morning walk" Nodoka replied "When I saw a group of men attacking the poor girl. I quickly rushed over whilst the largest man was kicking her. I think I sacred them off, but they left one of them behind. He was unconscious I think." She sighed deeply "Then I carried the poor girl here, I hope she'll be ok."

The officer quickly sent one of the others to find the downed thug. He turned back to Nodoka and sadly informed her that the thugs would most likely never be caught. She nodded sadly and was about to respond when the ambulance crew came into the house.

The paramedics quickly stabilised Ranko's ribs and placed her on a stretcher to load into the ambulance. Nodoka climbed into the ambulance as well, she was intending to make sure nothing else happened to the poor girl.

After waiting for several hours in the waiting room without hearing anything, Nodoka was getting really anxious. When a doctor finally came she immediately jumped to her feet. "How is she doctor?" she demanded. "I really hope she's all right."

The doctor looked at her sympathetically and shook his head sadly. "She's out of emergency surgery and is expected to live." He looked down sadly, Nodoka paled at seeing this. "Unfortunately three of her ribs were broken and she had heavy internal bleeding... I'm very sorry for the pain your daughter must have been put through to get in this state."

Nodoka shook her head sadly "She's not my daughter, I... I saved her from the thugs at the park... If only I had gotten there quicker." She burst out into tears, the doctor moved to comfort her.

"Shhh, It's not your fault. If you had gotten there any later, the thugs might have killed her. You saved her life." He placed his hand on her back and gently rubbed it until Nodoka calmed down.

She gathered herself together "Thank you doctor, your right... May I see her?" she asked hopefully.

The doctor nodded "Yes, but she shouldn't be disturbed."

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Ranko slowly woke up, the pain that had rendered her unconscious was now reduced to a dull throb in her chest and stomach. She slowly opened her eyes and flinched at the bright lights threatening to burn her retinas. She blinked a few times until she could see a red-haired blur sitting near her bed.

"mom?" she whispers, her voice was hoarse and quivery with anxiety. She looked towards Nodoka with quivery puppy dog eyes that Nodoka fell in love with instantly.

Nodoka shook her head softly and sadly responded. "No dear, I'm not your mother... I rescued you at the park."

Ranko quivered a little, suppressing her desire to cry. "Sorry, it's just that you look just like my momma."

Nodoka looked up, surprised. "Were is your mother, dear? Why were you alone in the park?"

'Damn I cant tell her she's my mother, I'll have to make somethin' up'. She bit softly on her quivering lower lip. "Mommas gone, she and poppa left me alone... policeman says it was a car crash." She quickly bust into fake tears that soon became real as she remembered she really was all alone.

Tears filling her own eyes, the older red-head grabbed the younger in a gentle hug. "Shh, it's all right. Every thing's going to be all right." She soothed the younger girl until her tears stopped flowing. "Can you tell me your name?"

Ranko slowly looked up into Nodoka's eyes, she found herself getting lost in those pools of compassion and the beginnings of love. "Ranko, my names Ranko... I cant remember my last name." She burst into sobs. "I've been alone for so long, I just want somebody to love me again." She slowly drifted back to sleep.

Nodoka gave one last hug to Ranko before placing her back onto the bed. "Don't you worry Ranko, I'll love you." she whispered gently before leaving to find the doctor. She whispered again before leaving the room. "I'll never let anything else happen to you, I swear."

She walked out of the room and tracked down the doctor. "Doctor may I have a word?"

He nodded "Of coarse, I assume it's about the girl.

"Yes, she woke up whilst I was there." She started sadly. "Her name is Ranko and she's an orphan. I believe she's been living on the streets for a while."

The doctors expression changed to shock "That poor girl, to lose her parents and home and then to get attacked like this. I'll have to phone the orphanage right away."

"NOO" Nodoka shout out. "I'll look after her, It'll be better than going there. I already find myself loving her as my own daughter."

He nods. "That would be better for her." He thought for a moment. "I'll get the paperwork ready and you can adopt her, as long as she says ok."

She smiled and nodded. "That would be most helpful."

Nodoka visited Ranko and kept her company everyday for the next two weeks whilst Ranko recovered. They talked about everything and anything. Ranko talked about part of her life and made up some stuff so that Nodoka wouldn't become suspicious. Nodoka told Ranko of her son and husband and how she hoped to see them soon. They got to know each other really well and their bond continued to grow closer.

On the final day of Ranko's hospital stay, Nodoka approached her nervously. "Ranko dear, I know you've been lonely recently, so... I was hoping to take you home as my daughter." She looked at the little red-head with pleading eyes.

Ranko's eyes became teary as she looked up at the older red-head. "I would really like that... mommy."

Nodoka broke out into happy sobs and swept Ranko up into a hug. "Thank you daughter, I'll look after you. I promise."

The doctor walked up behind the two happily sobbing females. "Well if that's the case, I'll file these papers and Ranko will officially be Ranko Saotome."

Both females nodded happily. They were soon packed and ready to leave the hospital and start a new life as a family.

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At the Saotome home two red-haired females walked towards the front door. The older red-head opened the door and led the younger inside. She grabbed the little girl up into her arms and gave her a large cuddle. "Welcome to your new home my daughter."

Ranko beamed at Nodoka and cuddled back. "Thank you so much mommy, I'm really happy to be here."

Nodoka gave Ranko a grand tour of the house. Ranko knew her way around of coarse, having been there before, but Nodoka doesn't know that so she acted like it was the first time seeing the house. When they reached Ranma's room, Nodoka's expression turns sombre.

Ranko knew what was wrong, but she had to ask anyway to make the whole thing believable and cheer her mother up. "Mommy? What's wrong?" She asked quietly.

Her expression quickly changed back to normal. "Nothing dear." she answered and then gestured towards the room. "It's just, this is my sons room, your new brother. I haven't seen him in so long."

"Don't worry mommy, I'm sure you'll see him again." she reassured Nodoka. "I bet he'll be the best martial artist ever."

"I'm sure your right dear" she laughed. "Come along, I'll show you to your room."

She lead Ranko towards the spare bedroom. Theirs not much in there except a futon and several chests of draws. "This will be your room Ranko-chan, We'll have to buy some things for it tomorrow.

Ranko walked into the room and placed her small pack containing several small dresses on the floor. She turned around towards Nodoka, her eyes shining brightly. "I love it."

Nodoka smiled. "Get yourself settled in dear, I'll go and start dinner."

Later they had dinner and talked about general things. Nodoka took this opportunity to try and teach Ranko to speak like a lady, much to the little red-heads annoyance. As it got late they soon prepared for bed, and Ranko spent the first night of the rest of her life in her new home with her new family. Well new if you look at it from a certain point of view.

The next morning Ranko was awoken to the delicious smell of breakfast. Being a Saotome, she rapidly got washed and changed in time for food. She walked into the kitchen with a large grin on her face. "That smells yummy, mummy." 'Dang that sounded corny.'

"Thank you dear." she smiled down at her daughter. "it'll be ready soon, why don't you sit at the table ready."

She hopped on her feet and quickly dashed to the table. Nodoka shook her head in mirth.

As soon as she placed the breakfast in front of Ranko, it was gone. "Ranko" She scolded "It's not very lady like to eat that fast."

Ranko flinched "But I don't wanna be a lady" she wailed. "I just wanna be me."

Nodoka sighed. "But Ranko-chan, you'll make such a lovely lady."

"I don't wanna be a ladyyy" she continued to wail, tears streaming down her cheeks.

'sigh, I so wanted her to be a lady. I hope she doesn't grow up to be a tomboy.' she nodded her head sadly. "Ok dear, you don't have to be a lady."

"Yayyy" Ranko cheered.

Nodoka frowned a little. "But you should be more polite, and everybody needs manners."

Ranko's happy expression soured a little. "Ok momma, but I'm not being a lady."

The pots were quickly cleared and they both headed out of the house to buy Ranko some new clothes and accessories. As well as arranging to have a bed delivered for Ranko's room. They brought several new dresses as well as some small slacks and blouses. After a small argument they also brought a small gi for Ranko to work out in.

"But Ranko you cant do martial arts, it's not lady like." Nodoka argued.

Ranko screwed up her face. "But I like martial arts, plus I already said I don't want to be a lady."

Nodoka quickly gave in after that and bought the gi.

At lunchtime they stopped for a rest and a bite to eat at a small café. They were sat outside eating there meal when Ranko heard a familiar voice asking for directions.

"Excuse me miss, do you know the way to china?" a boys voice asked.

Ranko boggled at seeing Ryouga again. 'I wonder why he hasn't recognized me yet.' she wondered. 'Oh that's it, I'm a six year old girl. Of course he wouldn't recognize me, baka.'

"Thank you for you help." Ryouga thanked the person helping him before going in the opposite direction he was given.

Ranko burst out giggling at the lost boy 'he'll never change.'. Nodoka tried to stop herself but soon found herself chuckling at the boy along with Ranko.

Back at home, Ranko quickly fell asleep on the settee. Nodoka looked upon her with a mixture of love and awe. 'She really could be my daughter. I'd bet anybody would be fooled by the resemblance.'

At dinner time she tried to wake Ranko up. "Ranko dear, it's time to wake up..." nothing. She didn't even stir. She shook her shoulder, called out louder but nothing worked. "Shame, the food will be cold by the time you..."

Ranko shot straight up and dashed straight for the table. Nodoka chuckled and mentally told herself to remember that method for waking Ranko up.

Later that night Ranko was laying awake in her new bed. 'way too soft to sleep compared to the forest floor of a futon.' She slowly came up with plans for her new life. 'I wonder if the Tendou's would train me? Maybe Akane would be my friend this time. Plus I'll get to sample Kasumi's amazing dinners... I'll talk to mother about it in the morning.' She slowly drifted off to sleep.

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Ranko sleepily made her way down stairs, drawn by the irresistible aroma of breakfast cooking. Nodoka looked over from her place at the stove and giggled at Ranko's drooling face.

"Morning dear, breakfast is almost ready." She turned back to her miso soup and added a few finishing touches.

Ranko quickly shook herself out of her food induced daze. "That sounds great momma." She quickly sat at the table, waiting anxiously for her breakfast to be ready.

Nodoka quickly bought the food to the table and served Ranko and herself. Ranko was just about to dig in when Nodoka gave a slight cough. "Manners dear, don't eat like a pig."

The little read-head bowed her head in shame, "yes momma." She proceeded to eat quickly but neatly.

Nodoka frowned 'She's still eating too quickly... Still at least she's eating neatly this time.' She shuddered as she remembered the first time she had seen the human vacuum "So dear, do you have anything you want to do?" she asked after finally finishing her own breakfast much more slowly than Ranko.

The still slightly hungry read-head looked at her mother, surprise clearly evidenced on her face. 'Surely mother cant be asking what I want to do... Can she?' She shook her head slightly and thought about it. 'Maybe we can go to the Tendou's, Akane might actually be my friend this time. Plus Kasumi is bound to cook a delicious meal for us.'

The older Saotome watched Ranko's expression as she asked her question. She was uncertain at Ranko's surprise, and was getting nervous as she spaced out and started drooling. 'I've only know her a few weeks and already I can probably guess what she's thinking about... Food.' She gave a mental sigh. "Ranko?"

She snapped out of her internal deliberation feeling hungry again and snapped her blue eyes onto Nodoka's own blue eyes. "Um, I was kinda hopin' that I could find somebody to teach me martial arts."

"But dear, what if you got hurt whilst practising?" Nodoka objected, looking at her daughter with a hint of fear in her eyes.

Ranko shuddered a little "But what if I get attacked again? I want to know how to protect myself."

The fear in Nodoka's eyes grew. 'I would feel better if Ranko could protect herself when I'm not with her, when she's at school.' She stared deeply into Ranko's clear eyes, getting lost in the vast blueness. 'And getting hurt a little would be much better than her getting seriously hurt again... What if somebody tried to r... Take advantage of her. She'll certainly be pretty enough.'

"Ok dear" She said with a sigh. She grabbed the overjoyed girl in her arms and hugged her gently. "I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."

Nodoka chuckled as Ranko started dancing around in joy after she let her go. 'That's why I'll do anything for you Ranko, just to see that smile on your face.'

"Ranko-chan calm down... I know a sensei that could teach his family's version of anything goes. I would have you learn from your father Genma, but I don't know when he and Ranma will be coming back." A sad frown crossed her face before being replaced by her neutral face.

Ranko jumped up and down. "That's great, who is it? who is it?" 'I wonder if Soun would teach me? I'd better use the puppy dog eyes of death attack to counter attack his waterfall flooding technique.'

A large smile appeared on Nodoka's face. "His name is Tendou Soun, he was you fathers sparing partner." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "I believe he has three daughters as well, they are a bit older but they might play with you."

"Yay gonna learn from Mr Tendou" she cried as she ran around excitedly.

A huge smile blossomed onto Nodoka's face. 'I'm so happy I have you Ranko-chan.'

Later on in the day several of Nodoka's concerned friends came around to the house, they hadn't
seen Nodoka for several weeks and were worried about her.

"Are you ok No-chan?" one of Nodoka's friends asked.

"Yeah, were have you been hiding yourself these past weeks?" inquired another friend

Nodoka smiled at the worry her friends were showing her. "I'm fine girl, really. But I have a surprise to show you."

"oooh what is it?" they exclaimed. "I hope it's not like your LAST surprise" one of them mumbled. Nodoka smirked after hearing that.

She quietly opened the door and let her friends inside. She led them into the living room were they all gasp in surprise. There curled up asleep on the sofa was an adorable little red-haired girl.

"Nodoka?" one of the friends started. "Were did she come from?" They all shouted at once in excitement.

"uuungh mama let me sleep." Ranko grumbled out.

"SO CUTE!" they shouted as one and proceed to glomp the poor little girl.

Ranko rapidly woke up and found herself in a familiar situation, she was being glomped. "ACK" she shouted as her arms wind milled around trying to get out.

"Ladies I would like you to meet my new daughter, Ranko." Nodoka said after everybody had calmed down some.

"Daughter?" They cried out. "When? How did this happen?" they questioned happily.

Nodoka quickly explained the story to her friends, how she had saved Ranko and had stayed with her in the hospital. How her parents were dead and she was all alone. She finally explained that she fell in love with her new daughter and adopted her. The friends gasped at several point in the story and tearfully hugged Ranko. They are shocked when Ranko lifts up her shirt and they see the bandages around her ribs.

They fussed over Ranko for a while whilst drinking tea. They all tell Ranko to call them Auntie, something she is happy about as that means less names to remember. After several hours they finally left Ranko alone to fall back to sleep whilst they talked to Nodoka and caught up on things older women talk about. After several more hours of talking they finally left, afterwards any time they would come around they would always have a present for Ranko-chan which made her really happy.

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Later on, mother and daughter were walking to the Tendou dojo. Hopefully with the intention to get Soun to teach Ranko. As they got to the front gate, Nodoka pulled Ranko aside. "Now remember dear, we will be there guests so be on your best behaviour. Mr Tendou might not want to teach you if your naughty."

"yes mother." she nodded at the warning, and then ignored it. She dashed to the front door and knocked excitedly.

"Ranko." Nodoka scolded, trying to frown but a smile keeps invading onto her face.

A beautiful seventeen year old girl dressed in a house dress answered the door. She glanced down inquisitively at the young red-head before shifting her gaze to the older version of the child she just looked at.

"Hello my name is Kasumi." she bowed. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Nodoka smiled at the polite young woman, 'If only I could persuade Ranko to be like her.' "yes thank you, my name is Saotome Nodoka and my daughter Ranko" She gestured at the smiling red-head. We are here to see you father Tendou Soun."

Kasumi smiled. "I'm sure father would be happy to see you both, please come this way." She led them into the house towards the living room were Soun sat reading a paper. "Father, we have some visitors."

He looked up from his paper and smiled when he noticed Nodoka. "Ah Nodoka" He quickly got up and greeted her. "It's been so long, how have you been? How are Genma and Ranma doing?" He finally noticed the small girl standing behind Nodoka. "And who are you?" he asked her gently.

Ranko shifted nervously. "Um, I'm Saotome Ranko. Sorry about this"

Soun chuckles nervously. "Nodoka, I don't remember you having a daughter?"

Nodoka smiled down at Ranko, reassuring her that it's ok. "Soun, I would like for you to meet my adopted daughter Ranko."

He smiled down at her. "I'm sure Genma would be pleased to know he has a daughter." She frowned a little but said nothing. "So Nodoka, what brings you and Ranko by here?"

"Well I've not heard from Genma in several years and I was wondering if you knew anything?" she asked hopefully.

Soun shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry Nodoka but I haven't been in contact with Genma since he took off on the trip."

She sighed and looked down sorrowfully for a moment before gathering her reserve. "There was another reason... I was hoping you could train Ranko in you art. She really wants to learn because of an attack, I'll tell you and the girls about it later."

He looked shocked for a moment before bursting out into his waterfall impression. "But *sob* I cant train her *sob* I've not trained anybody since my poor wife died."

Suddenly Mr Tendou's vision was filled by a pair of clear blue teary eyes and a trembling lip. "Please, can you train me Mr Tendou?" she shuddered "I'm scared I'll get hurt again." Tears trailed down her cheeks. 'Man I should go into show business or somethin.'

Soun's resolve soon cracked and he quickly agreed. Nodoka chuckled knowing her daughter had just tricked Soun into doing what she wanted.

Ranko quickly rushed off to get changed into her gi and then dragged Soun out to the dojo.

Half an hour later Nabiki and Akane entered the dojo looking for their father or Kasumi. What they saw shocked them to the core, their father was finally sparing with someone. Even more shocking, it was a young girl who wasn't doing bad. Kasumi saw her slack jawed sisters and beckoned for them to sit down next to the dojo wall and watch the match.

Ranko was doing rather well against Soun, using her size and speed to her advantage she dodged most of his attacks. Sometimes she would flip over one of his kicks or punches and get in a punch of her own. He didn't really feel it of coarse due to her size but he acknowledge the hit's anyway. After they had spared for an hour he finally called a halt to the match.

"Well Ranko, I'm impressed. You're very skilled for such a young girl." He smiled at her showing his approval of her skills.

Ranko beamed at him. "Thank you sensei, my father taught me well, before he..." Her smile fell a little before returning as she noticed clapping from the side of the dojo.

Akane walked up to Ranko with an awe filled gaze. "Wow, you're really good." She thought for a moment. "Plus you finally got dad to spar... I'm Tendou Akane would you like to be friends?"

Ranko nodded happily. "Would you spar with me sometimes?" she asked innocently.

"Definitely" she responded. "The world needs more female martial artists to put the males in their place."

Ranko looked towards the third Tendou sister and looked inquisitive.

Nabiki smirked. "Typical Akane, you have to make friends with a female martial artist."

"Hey you take that back" Akane growled "Sayuri and Yuka aren't martial artists, and they're my friends"

Nabiki smirked and calmly walked out of the dojo. Akane turned to Ranko who was trying hard to stifle her giggles. "Sorry about that Ranko, Nabiki can be a jerk sometimes." She took the read-heads hand and lead her out to the house. "Lets get you cleaned up and then something to eat."

Ranko nodded happily 'Yea more food, I'm starved. After all a growing girl needs her energy.' As they continued walking she suddenly froze 'Wait, did she say clean up? No WAY am I going into the bathroom with Akane.'

Glancing down at the red-haired girl, Akane wondered what was wrong. "Ranko, are you all right?"

Ranko giggled nervously "Sure Akane, um, I think I'll clean up by myself thanks." She quickly dashed for the bathroom leaving a bewildered Akane behind.

In the bath room a tense Ranko got undressed and sat on a washing stool. She cleaned herself and dumped several buckets of water over self before getting into the furo. 'Ahhh, that's so relaxing.' Her tenseness seemed to drain out of her, until she heard a noise she was dreading. Akane walked into the bathroom completely naked, not even a towel covering her privates like the first time Ranma had seen her.

"Ranko why did you wash without me? I said id help you." Akane looked questioningly at Ranko.

The red-head had quickly diverted her gaze as soon as Akane had walked in and was now looking into the water. 'Damn, she's always interrupting my baths.' She blushed slightly "Um, I'm really shy around others." 'Please buy it, please don't mallet me.'

Akane frowned for a moment. "Well we'll just have to get you over your shyness Ranko-chan." She proceeded to wash herself before she too stepped into the bath. She grabbed the red-heads chin and gently lifted her head so that they could look at each others faces. Akane smiled and then splashed Ranko with hot water. Ranko splashed back, and soon the first anything goes bath fight was started.

Two giggling girls left the bathroom later after drying off and getting changed. As they entered the living room, Nodoka and Kasumi smiled at the sight of them getting along so well. Nodoka was in the kitchen with Kasumi preparing dinner.

Soon Ranko was in heaven as the best points of both her mother's and Kasumi's cooking had been brought together to produce a meal fit for the emperor. Ranko's tale and adoption was told to the Tendou's and they all sympathized with Ranko, feeling sorry for her. Soun decided that he was definitely going to train her as he couldn't bear the thought of the little girl getting hurt like she had already been. Nabiki of coarse was cool, but even she had decided to cut the kid a break.

Ranko and Nodoka were soon on their way home, Ranko was happy that everything had turned out so well and she had a new sensei to help her regain her skill. She had arranged to have lessons with Mr Tendou three times a week, Monday, Wednesday and Saturday.

Nodoka quickly gasped "Oh I forgot, Ranko we'll have to enrol you into a school soon."

Ranko scrunched up her face "But I don't wanna go to school, it's so boring." she wailed.

"Ranko, school is very important. How can you find a job or teach martial arts when you don't know how?" Nodoka berated. "Plus you'll make lots of nice friends to play with."

The red-head flinched under Nodoka's verbal barrage, as soon as she heard the part about friends her face lit up with a luminous smile. 'Maybe I could finally make some normal friends for once.'

They reached the house quickly, Nodoka unlocked the door and glanced at Ranko, lost in thought. 'She'll look so cute in a little sailor seifuku.'

Ranko looked at her mother and shivered at the look in her eye. 'This is so not going to be good.'

"We'll have to go out and buy you a uniform tomorrow dear." Nodoka said, the glint in her eye growing even more scary.

'Damn, I HATE it when I'm right.' She placed a fake smile upon her face. "Yes mother." She had learned the hard way not to argue with Nodoka about clothes during her last life.

--------------------

Ranko was standing miserably in a clothing shop. Normally she wouldn't have minded wearing a seifuku, except this one was PINK. "But momma, I don't like pink" She tried to get out of getting the uniform for the third time.

"Nonsense dear, all the girl at your new school will be wearing them." She smiled at her daughter, inside she was positively beaming. 'Yess, she has to dress more ladylike and she cant fight it... Id better not say that or she'll be wailing she doesn't want to be a lady all the way home.'

After buying several sets of the uniform and some school supplies, Nodoka dragged Ranko off to the other shops to do what she really wanted to do. 'Dress up dolly' She cackled internally.

The younger redhead didn't mind this part as much, she was used to dresses. Just so long as they weren't pink or lacy. She and Nodoka picked out several dresses, all of which made Ranko look cute. They were mostly blue's and green's. She had pouted a bit when Nodoka had refused her request for more slacks.

"You have more than enough already, what you really need are more dresses dear."


(((Start school)))



Oviously I still have to write up her school experiances but im struggling for some ideas to make it interesting. Maybe a cameo appearance as one of her classmates?

[Spokavriel]

I'll probably go through for typos later. When that happens you can expect another comment on whilst if not many.

So far right now The fight in the park isn't believable even with residual Ki enhancements and the strategy used I can't imagine a 4 year old being able to hit hard enough for part of it or survive the head butt. Much less anything after it. If she were at least 6 then I could.

The adoption is going way too easily it isn't believable. No questioning the girls story. Just letting Nodoka have her without a background check. I still think 4 is clearly too young and 6 might also be a little too young. There is no way that she wouldn't have been put into an Orphanage with both parents dead. 8 or 10 I could see being able to pull it off but she's just too young.

One question. How can the Doctor be sure that this spur of the moment request by Nodoka would be better for the girl? They don't even know for sure she told the truth she could still be a run away. Admittedly she's young for almost anything independent to be believable but it does happen.

The legal stuff can all be mentioned outside of Ranko's room but there should be some questioning and checking. Allot of people have their stories having even the finger prints between Ranma and Ranko change so there are allot of things that can be worked with.

I can see why you might have wanted 4 years old for some of the actions on Rankos part but I've seen 10 year olds pull the same thing allot easier. If someone is 6 or under adults aren't as prone to giving in on manners. Its like the child hasn't really grown up enough yet so anything they insist on is just cute nothing more.

Ok continuity issue. You have "Ranko is now a four year old girl in oversized clothes that are mostly falling off." In your posted chapter. Now you have six in this incomplete chapter. It's still a little too young in my opinion as you can see but the ages between the mushroom scene in that other chapter and this new chapter have to agree.

Nodoka worrying about Rape even in Japan would be a bit excessive thinking about a 6 year old. I've seen News paper articles with 3 and 4 year olds but the average young victim is usually at least 8. And yes I know it is disturbing to know statistics on this sort of thing but I get bored often and it's one of the things I once looked into.

Even if Ranko were 10-12 the bit older comment about the Tendo girls would still fit, you did say Ranko went back in time 3 years so Akane would be at least 13 now. Kasumi's age is listed at 17 here? Shouldn't it be 16? Or did you change it to 2 years time travel?

When Ranma shows up at the Tendo Dojo the ages are Akane 16 Nabiki 17 Kasumi 19
Ok I forgot to take into account the at least whole year of Fiancée mess life before going back in time so Akane would be 12 Nabiki 13 and Kasumi 17 I'm leaving the bit where I was confused just so you can see what I was thinking.

Age thing again I'm not sure I know many kids younger than 7 that would insist that school is boring. Wouldn't a 6 year old have only had experience with Kindergarten? A 4 year old as mentioned in the previous chapter none at all? Someone posted a chart.

Before six-years-old = Kindergarten.
Six to 12 = Elementary school
12 to 15 is Junior High/Middle School
15 to 18 is High School

Yeah um 8-10 is looking allot better all around for believability of Ranko's actions including the school complaint.

For Class mates there are allot of shows you could look at to borrow characters but there's already allot to work on in this chapter including dozens of typos and redundancies I didn't point out because there are a few underlying things that still need work first.

[jasonjkay]

Thanks for the help, I see your points and will correct them in the final write up.

So far right now The fight in the park isn't believable even with residual Ki enhancements and the strategy used I can't imagine a 4 year old being able to hit hard enough for part of it or survive the head butt. Much less anything after it. If she were at least 6 then I could.

She is six in this chapter, Whilst writing it I thought four was definatley too young so I changed it. I havent changed it in the first chapter yet, as I've been doing a few revisions on that as well. As for the fight, I was thinking along the lines of small not always being weak (Happosai). Plus she would still have her Ki abilities, even if they are weaker.

The adoption is going way too easily it isn't believable... There is no way that she wouldn't have been put into an Orphanage with both parents dead. 8 or 10 I could see being able to pull it off but she's just too young.

So I should up the age to eight? That might make this easier to write. As for the adoption, How do I make that harder when Ranko cant prove anything about her past, and isnt on any records? I'll have to think about this.

Nodoka worrying about Rape even in Japan would be a bit excessive thinking about a 6 year old.

Um Im not sure I added anything about rape, If I did then thats getting left out.

Anyway sorry for the age confusion, I'll make her eight and I'll fix the first chapter up with your suggests in the PM you sent me. Thanks a lot for all the help.

[Dumbledork]

I like the new version of this story. It reads much better.

I think 6 years is a good choice for Ranma. 6 or 8 shouldn't make that much of a difference against the thugs (and it will be easier for Nodoka to educate Ranko while she's younger). But I agree with Spok. Ranko couldn't have handeled herself that well in the fight. Added to her loss of strength and reach she not used to her new body yet. I'd see her down on the thugs with a surprise attack (a headbutt into the family jewels should be enough) but that's about it. You wouldn't have to change too much about the fight if Nodoka intervened earlier. Let's say that the thugs get some good hits in after Ranko downed one of them and have Nodoka intervene immediately afterwards.

The adoption was too easy. But there's a possibility, While Ranko is in hospital they wouldn't put her in an orphanage. So just have the nurses and doctors see how well the chemistry between Nodoka and Ranko works and when they realize howmuch they love eahc other they probably wouldn't refuse the adoption. After all, a child needs love and a good family. Love isn't a problem and if Nodoka has a decent job (you could give her one) money shouldn't be a problem either.

[Spokavriel]

Thanks for the help, I see your points and will correct them in the final write up.

So far right now The fight in the park isn't believable even with residual Ki enhancements and the strategy used I can't imagine a 4 year old being able to hit hard enough for part of it or survive the head butt. Much less anything after it. If she were at least 6 then I could.

She is six in this chapter, Whilst writing it I thought four was definatley too young so I changed it. I havent changed it in the first chapter yet, as I've been doing a few revisions on that as well. As for the fight, I was thinking along the lines of small not always being weak (Happosai). Plus she would still have her Ki abilities, even if they are weaker.
I can see that after finishing but starting out reading this chapter I only had what I was told in the last one to go on.

The adoption is going way too easily it isn't believable... There is no way that she wouldn't have been put into an Orphanage with both parents dead. 8 or 10 I could see being able to pull it off but she's just too young.

So I should up the age to eight? That might make this easier to write. As for the adoption, How do I make that harder when Ranko cant prove anything about her past, and isnt on any records? I'll have to think about this.
Ok here's the thing. First I agree with everything Dumbledork said about the Hospital staff but... No one can certify or refute the girls story. There are still a few questions that the hospital would need to answer before they could just jump in and let a woman adopt a kid she just rescued.

First they would probably take her finger prints blood samples and what not and try to prove her identity with birth records. They have to try to prove her identity and make sure she isn't a run away. They don't know a family name and it will be a dead end.

They also have her age and the comment about police saying it was a car accident. They will find no record but it gives a time frame to ask them to look for a report on the incident.

All this boils down to the Doctor needing to say something to the effect of them needing to make sure the girl is both remembering and telling the truth before suggesting the Orphanage or Adoption.

She was beaten up rather throughly and that head butt left evidence of a head injury. By the time she is ready to be released is more than enough for them to prove that they have no way to dispute anything she said and that there is no evidence she ran away.

At the same time there would have been plenty of time to prove Nodoka Saotome is honorable with a clean personal background even if they will have questions to ask about Genma before allowing the adoption.

All of this would be helping with the adoption and only a small part would really have to show up in the fic but it is a general list of things that would happen before it could go their way.

Nodoka worrying about Rape even in Japan would be a bit excessive thinking about a 6 year old.

Um Im not sure I added anything about rape, If I did then thats getting left out.

She stared deeply into Ranko's clear eyes, getting lost in the vast blueness. 'And getting hurt a little would be much better than her getting seriously hurt again... What if somebody tried to r... Take advantage of her. She'll certainly be pretty enough.'

This line says Rape worries to me. And as you saw in my statements it is a little young for that particular concern but not ridiculously so.

Anyway sorry for the age confusion, I'll make her eight and I'll fix the first chapter up with your suggests in the PM you sent me. Thanks a lot for all the help.
You're welcome and 8 seems to be a good minimum age for everything overall. Still not too big for any of the behavior items including curling up on pieces of furniture. Looking forward to how the edits turn out.

[Dumbledork]

And about the fight with Soun... well I don't think she shows too much of her abilities. It would be more logical to downplay her abiltities or else the Tendos will probably become suspicious of her. She should stick to some basic katas she couldhave learnt in any dojo, but slightly improved and she'd still impress the Tendo patriarch and probably avoid making Akane jealous.

[jasonjkay]

Thanks for the info on the adoption issue, I'll keep it in mind when I go back to that section. The fight at the beginning is turning out to be a total rewrite, I'll try my best to make it more beleivable and to have Ranko be more clumsy and weaker.

And about the fight with Soun... well I don't think she shows too much of her abilities. It would be more logical to downplay her abiltities or else the Tendos will probably become suspicious of her. She should stick to some basic katas she couldhave learnt in any dojo, but slightly improved and she'd still impress the Tendo patriarch and probably avoid making Akane jealous.

I assume your refering to the original treatment of my story which is currently chapter two on fanfic.net Im not sure how much of the story will stick to that outline, chapter one is about the same but improved whilst chapter two starts the same and then goes off into new territory. I dont know whether to follow the manga in the later chapters or write something completly differant, maybe a crossover with something.

Oh and Spokavriel, I used most of your corrections to me for chapter one and have uploaded a corrected version. Thanks, I used practiacally every point you made.

[Spokavriel]

I think what was meant is that if you don't point out some way that Ranko choses to leave out the Anything Goes katas there is no way any member of the Tendo household would be able to avoid noticing the style. They all trained in the basics of it for years.

I'll be reading it again. Glad I could help. Oh and you didn't have to make another thread to keep working on the story. I noticed the second one in this section.

[jasonjkay]

I think what was meant is that if you don't point out some way that Ranko choses to leave out the Anything Goes katas there is no way any member of the Tendo household would be able to avoid noticing the style. They all trained in the basics of it for years.

I'll be reading it again. Glad I could help. Oh and you didn't have to make another thread to keep working on the story. I noticed the second one in this section.

Right got ya, maybe she could learn from the saotome school scrolls that Genma left behind? Or she could limit herself to a certain school, I dont think she'll like that very much. Maybe she could come up with a new name for it, after all it is mostly a blend of other arts, as long as she avoids any signature anything goes moves (Stuff that only genma and soune would know.) she should be fine as it's not impossible for other families to combine differant arts together.

Oh and the other thread, I think I acidently double posted at some point. I've deleted it. Sorry about that.

[Spokavriel]

Ranma is a genius when it comes to Martial arts. It's just that Everything specifically Genma will be Anything Goes style. And Soun would recognize Genma's style.

The thing is I think Ranko could easily make up Katas both basic and advanced using all the things she knows without tipping her hand about Anything Goes. All that would be needed would be a little thought some time before they spar having her clearly make the decision to avoid using the Katas or moves specifically of the Anything Goes style.

Edit: It would give something to use later on. Say after she is more comfortable she starts slipping up and using parts of Anything Goes that Soun hasn't taught her and she ends up having to come up with an excuse or risk having to tell the time travel alternate dimension truth.

[jasonjkay]

I see what you mean, but I like to think of it in a way I've read in several other fics (Not sure which.) Genma typically leaves ranma behind at the dojos they visit to lern their art and then comes back taking Ranma and most of thier valuables. Hence except for certain katas and special moves that genma taught Ranma, she could use her art without Soun knowing, so long as she changed the name and avoided Genmas moves. Still the idea of her slipping up and using a recognisable move is pretty good and it would put her in an uncomfortable situation.

[mondu_the_fat]

The doctors expression changed to shock "That poor girl, to lose her parents and home and then to get attacked like this. I'll have to phone the orphanage right away."

He nods. "That would be better for her." He thought for a moment. "I'll get the paperwork ready and you can adopt her, as long as she says ok."

I'm pretty sure doctors do not have the authority nor the means to let someone adopt a child like that. In such a situation, doctors would call child services, then let child services handle it from that end.

At best, the doctor can make a suggestion to child services, but not "get the paperwork ready".

Alternatively, you can have nadoka talk to a social worker (who would be in a better position to arrange adoption) instead of the doctor. A social worker (or even one of the police) would likely be in the hospital investigating what happened to Ranma.

I don't know how japan's health system works, but personally for research purposes I'd like to find out if the Saotomes would end up paying the hospital. This might be significant considering how poor Nadoka apparently is.

Finally, the doctor would not have mistaken Nadoka as the mother. Various consent forms are thrown about in cases like this, and Nodoka _not_ being the mother would stick out like a sore thumb. besides, given the amount of people in a hospital, one of the first lines a doctor would say is "Are you the mother of X?" rather than risk talking to a stranger about the details of a medical case.

With a loud crack, the bat impacted with her ribs crushing several of them with ease. She fell to the ground writhing around in pain and coughing up blood.

While its popular in anime for someone to cough up blood after they'd been hit, this happens in real life when blood has _already_ accumulated in the lungs/stomach. A blow strong enough to cause blood to accumulate so fast that she cough blood on her next breath wouldn't have been survivable (this like getting stabbed and the wound is enough to kill you in seconds due to blood loss), certainly not long enough for Nadoka to carry Ranma home.

He turned back to Nodoka and sadly informed her that the thugs would most likely never be caught.

While this may very well be true, I find it unlikely that a police officer will say this that early. The thing with police is that they are often quite familiar with the locals, the "usual suspects", as it were, unless they were transients... and they really wouldn't know considering they haven't even asked what Ranma saw of the thugs.

This line says Rape worries to me. And as you saw in my statements it is a little young for that particular concern but not ridiculously so.

I agree completely with spokavriel here.

[Dumbledork]

While this may very well be true, I find it unlikely that a police officer will say this that early. The thing with police is that they are often quite familiar with the locals, the "usual suspects", as it were, unless they were transients... and they really wouldn't know considering they haven't even asked what Ranma saw of the thugs.

And Ranma managed to knock one of them out. The police could always question him to get the names of the others.

[Spokavriel]

There are easier and less lethal ways to have someone spitting blood. Say biting your lip or tongue while getting hit. Coughing it up after ribs getting broken though, thinking about it it's just a bit too much.

[jasonjkay]

There are easier and less lethal ways to have someone spitting blood. Say biting your lip or tongue while getting hit. Coughing it up after ribs getting broken though, thinking about it it's just a bit too much.

I never really thought about it that way, I guess I have seen too many anime. I'll change it in the full write up. Remember this is just a really rough draft, I was trying to flesh out a small section of my original chapter into a full blown chapter, the original chapter is now gone. Only chapter one which is a rewrite of about a quarter of the original chapter.

I'm pretty sure doctors do not have the authority nor the means to let someone adopt a child like that. In such a situation, doctors would call child services, then let child services handle it from that end.

I can see what you mean, as others have told me it's not that simple to adopt a child, I'll try researching it a bit before the rewrite. I wonder if they have social workers in Japan, I'll try looking it up. Thanks anyway for the help.

This line says Rape worries to me. And as you saw in my statements it is a little young for that particular concern but not ridiculously so.

I agree completely with spokavriel here.

Um yea I forgot I put that in there, I'll definately tone that down so it's nowhere near as bad.

Anyway thanks for all the help guys, just one question. Should I try and finish this chapter with Rankos school life (Still coming up with ideas) or should I leave that till next chapter and write this up properly to get it out? I dont have the attention span or the memory to attemp both at the same time.