DRAFT, First 4 scenes Honor & Love Episode 12

Bridging the gap between Ideas and C&C.

Post individual scenes that need doctoring, outlines, or other detail work that isn't quite ready for the C&C thread.

DRAFT, First 4 scenes Honor & Love Episode 12

Postby khammel » Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:47 pm

Story to date:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1691546/1/Honor_and_Love

Let me know what you think so far.
Thanks! Kevin Hammel
Note, edited 1 typo 3:59 PST 7-14-2012
And I've gotta be a girl to be too... changed to: And I've gotta be a girl to be Io...
*** INCOMPLETE DRAFT FIRST 4 SCENES ***
Shampoo walked downstairs to the restaurant portion of Joketzoku Ramen, the new cafe she and Cologne had opened. Back in the kitchen, Cologne was already at work cooking soup for a new day's customers. Still focused on her work, she greeted the younger Amazon warrior, "Good morning, Shampoo. We need to talk about what happened last night."

Shampoo jumped to the defensive as she flipped chairs down to the floor from tabletops. "What, great grandmother, at Ranma's?" She answered with a question, a slight edge of anger coloring her tone.

"Yes, of course Great granddaughter. You were such a wonderful friend to her when she really needed one back home." The Amazon Elder replied in a even tone.

"But she hid behind her curse from me… She lied to me... She made me think she was a girl when all she really was was a man." The purple haired teen replied, her anger level rising as she spit out the last sentence.

"Shampoo, try to put yourself in her slippers for just a moment. Think about her situation. She had just seen her father die. Though she was just a teenager your age, she was far from home. Then she realized she had to deal with a village of women to try to get some help. Suddenly, her new curse became a lifeline. A way to make friends and get help in the village. And, Great granddaughter, I am very proud of how supportive and nurturing you were back then. An Amazon is not just a warrior, but one who is there for women in need." Cologne took a breath, then turned from her cooking pots to regard her great grandchild.

"She's still a man; and a man isn't an Amazon. I know she was in pain, and needed our... my.... help. But she lied to get that help. Can't you see, Great grandmother?" Shampoo replied, looking her great grandmother's eyes with conviction.

Cologne frowned for a moment, this wasn't going anywhere. Her face brightening as she realized how to change the argument, "Well then Shampoo. This must mean people who have two forms, one of which is a woman cannot be an amazon, correct?"

"Of course Great grandmother. That is all I was trying to say. Glad you could see it," Shampoo finished in a much happier tone and turned to smile at cologne as she put the last chair on the floor.

"So, Shampoo... are YOU an Amazon since you realized you are the reincarnation of Shanna?" Cologne had to smirk as she looked in the child's eyes.

"But.. Shanna was a great heroine of the Amazon people. She was a great warrior," Shampoo proudly argued with a smile.

"Indeed, Shampoo. She was allowed to fight alongside the Amazons and became a legendary warrior and heroine of our people. But, using your definition, was she... are you... an amazon?" Cologne fired back.

"No, great grandmother. I guess not," Shampoo said as she cast her eyes to the shadows of tables and chairs on the concrete floor.

"But, you know you are. Shampoo. So, all I can ask is for you to look at Ranma through your own eyes.... again. Remember when you showed kindness to that lost, silent girl who had just seen her father die? The scrolls are strict on how outsiders should be treated, but we Sisters have grown since they were written." Cologne took a breath, pleased the child was still focused on her, "She was an outsider girl who was in great pain. True... she was a warrior, an enemy by our laws. But you helped her both despite and because of all those things. You sparred with her and shared meals with her. Even helped her pick out some new clothes. And you helped Ranma practice techniques I taught her. I saw the two of you share smiles and sometimes laughter as you became her friend... almost her sister."

Shampoo smiled as she recalled those days, tears falling as she remembered the events that brought herself and Ranma together. And Shampoo's bloody rejection of all the two of them had built the night before. Chores completed, contemplation continuing... a thoughtful, tearful girl advanced on the Matriarch. Cologne was paused for a moment in both her lesson and recollection.

Cologne looked up, noticing her great granddaughter was now in easy reach of a hug. Still holding her close, Cologne continued,"And I remember her trip from our lands with you and I. It was a long, dusty walk down to that shanty town to catch the bus. And it seemed to take even longer than usual to show up that day. Then, you hugged her before she finally boarded the bus with her pack and... that steel box. And she waved at you one last time through that dirty, cracked window as she struggled with enormity of the burden she would have to bear across nation and sea. But then I saw a little smile on her face. And I looked at you, and saw the biggest smile I had ever seen as you tried to cheer her up... as you willed some of your own strength to help her. I was so proud of you, Shampoo," Tears of both remorse and pride fell as the Elder paused to look down for a few moments. Cologne released the child from her embrace.

Still tearful, Shampoo had one last question to ask, "Did you know she was a man, great grandmother?"

Tears abating, Cologne smiled, "I knew what her other form was, great granddaughter, but he was not a man. He was a child who needed to heal and recover. I realized his... her alternate form would... distract you from the love I knew you wanted to offer... you NEEDED to offer... her. You're the vanguard of a new generation, Shampoo. You are guided by your heart as much as the traditions of our people. One day you will be a new leader. You need to start making hard decisions as we adapt to new times and a new world. Doesn't she... Ranma... still deserve at least the respect any other ally of the Amazons receives as she fights at their side? Or when a guest in our home or restaurant? We are in the Outsider's territory now. Enemy lands according to the scrolls. But there is one Outsider who knows us, and can be a valuable ally. A person who has many strong friends at her side already. A girl and a boy, who is... almost... your sister. Don't toss her away, Shampoo" Cologne smiled, "And... I think you need them as much as they need you," Cologne concluded.

At last, Shampoo smiled too,. Tears were still in her eyes as she spoke, "You're right Great grandmother. Thanks for giving me a chance to look at everything again. And making me remember what I almost lost.. I hope. Can I ride over to Ranma's now, please?"

"Of course, Dear. But hurry. This is no excuse to dodge your work." Cologne replied, her last sentence only heard by a swinging door as Shampoo hurriedly peddled away. The matriarch realized it might take herself a few minutes of her own to regain composure. And she wondered if Shanna's reincarnation would lead the Amazons to a new age, with an old alliance forged anew.

***
Ranma 1/2 Honor and Love
(Yet Another) Ranma/Sailor Moon Crossover

Episode 12: The Curious Case of Ranma's Buttons

By Kevin D. Hammel
Ranma 1/2 is property of Rumiko Takahashi. Publication Rights are held by Viz in The US and Shogakukan in Japan. Sailor Moon is property of Naoko Takeuchi. Publication rights held by Kodansha Ltd. in Japan and Mixx Entertainment in the US. My purpose is to honor these creators and their works. No infringement intended.
***
Back at the Saotome home, Kikuko blinked before finding her voice again. Her eyes were somewhat unfocused as she continued speaking to Naru and Umino, "You know, we work as a... well... group here. There doesn't really need to be a guy to train you, Umino-kun. The only way we can really help you, and our own team, is if you train with US, the girls you'll be fighting with, err... alongside. " Kikuko focused on Naru as she continued. "Thanks for coming back, Naru-chan. Please let me talk to you... the two of you... inside, okay?" Turning, she closed her eyes for a few seconds, hoping to ward off tears of a totally different nature than those the chaos of the last night had brought.

Naru smiled, "That'd be great, Kiku-chan." Noticing tears just forming in her teammate's eyes, Naru tried to offer a hug which Kikuko waved off.

Kikuko wiped the proto-tears from her eyes, "Come in, please." <Girls> she thought with a smile. Kikuko wanted her friendship with Naru back so much... She hoped that honesty in the future would keep their special friendship going. And for the present, maybe explaining everything and answering all their questions would give Naru and herself back what both of them had lost.

Naru and Umino followed their hostess inside.

***
"Akane-chan?" Kikuko sang out as she turned away from the doorway.

It seemed Akane was downstairs in a gi in NINE seconds. "Yeah?" Akane asked as she hopped down the stairs in her gi. The youngest Tendou's eyes got wide as she saw the young couple in the doorway. "Good morning, Naru-chan. It's really great to see you after..."

Naru smiled at Europa's alter-ego, "Let me talk to Kiku-chan, okay? I think I left just a tiny bit too fast last night."

Turning to her teammate and almost-sister, Kikuko asked, "Hey, Akane, can you handle the class today? I kinda need to chat with Naru-chan and Umino here."

Akane smiled, both at the chance to grow as a teacher, and the possibility of Callisto back in the fold; "Sure, Kiku-chan. Besides I figured you probably had to do some talking, just the three of you. See you!" With that, she dashed out the door to greet the first arrivals.

"Let's go up to my room, you guys." Kikuko said has the two guests entered.

"Here, Kikuko-chan," Kasumi said, offering a hot and cold cup of water. After an abbreviated game of 'Cups of Hanoi' the cups and bento Kikuko had been carrying switched hands.

"Thanks, Kasumi-san!" Kikuko replied as she turned to lead her guests to her bedroom.

***

"Here, guys, " Kikuko said as she swept her arms to her bed. "Have a seat." Turning, the redhead looked down for a few moments. Placing the two cups on her desk, she turned the chair around to face her guests.

"So, Kiku-chan could you please explain what happened last night.?" Naru asked with a concerned, apologetic look.

Kikuko pondered what to say for a moment, finally speaking, "Well, first off, BESIDES bein' a Sailor Senshi, I'm a normal human. Or, at least I WAS..."

"Huh, uh, you're a martial arts goddess, Kiku-chan. Nothing normal 'bout that!" Naru replied with a smile.

"Okay, I'm a great martial artist. But still, I'm pretty normal... Or at least I WAS. No magic or nothin'." Kikuko replied with obvious pride. "Anyways, a few months ago, my father took me to Jusenkyou to train. That's a valley of cursed springs in China. This is gonna sound pretty weird."

"Nope, Kiku-chan, weird or even weirder isn't possible after what I saw last night." Naru said with confidence. "And I'm not gonna run away. I realized last night that your friendship, and happiness, both mean way too much to me for that to happen again."

Heavy footfalls up the stairs interrupted the conversation. All three teenagers looked to the door. "Great to see you, Naru-chan!" Makoto greeted her teammate with a smile.

"Mako-chan!" Kikuko exclaimed as she jumped up.

"Hey, Kiku-chan, good too see you, girrrlfriend!" Makoto said before sticking her tounge out just a little.

Kikuko blushed, "Couldja maybe sit on the bed next to Naru-chan, Mako-chan? I'm tellin' Naru and Umino about myself," Kikuko decided enough people had come up to her room and closed the door.

Still blushing, Kikuko continued her introduction, "I was gonna say, thanks, Naru-chan. Anyways, my name's Ranma. Or it least it started as Ranma. My mom gave me the girl name 'Kikuko' and there are some papers somewhere that say that's my real name. And that I'm a girl. But I don't think all the papers say I'm a girl. I think. Ummm... at least I hope so. " Kikuko paused to marshal her thoughts before they strayed too far... while she caught a breath or two.

Finding her focus, Kikuko tried to encompass all her guests in her view as she continued. "So, I wasn't even a girl at all when me and my pop went there, to Jusenkyou. It's a pretty evil place of magic springs. Whoever falls in 'em gets cursed to become whatever drowned there when cold wearer hits 'em. Anyways, we trained at the springs and my dad fell off a bamboo pole and... He didn't make it, he hit his head and drowned. After he fell and stopped moving, I guess I was in shock. Then, I felt kinda dizzy and ended up falling off a bamboo pole into the spring of drowned girl." Kikuko's eyes locked on Naru's as she continued, "So now I turn into a girl when cold water hits me and back to a guy with hot water. Let me show you." Kikuko felt behind herself for the glass of hot water. She didn't want to take her eyes off Naru. Finding the cup by feel, she poured it over her hair and took the body he had lived most of his life in.

Just as the night before, the tall, muscular young man replaced Naru's friend. The boy who was Kikuko spoke in a deeper. thoroughly masculine voice that was a much better fit for Kikuko's odd speech patterns. "Naru-chan, I'm still me, " The boy said as he reached behind himself to put the cup on the desk again, then grab the one with cold water. "Let me change back so I can continue in the body you're used to," flipping the cup over his head, Ranma flowed back again to Kikuko.

"So you aren't really a girl but pretend to be one or what?" Naru asked in genuine puzzlement.

Kikuko found it much easier to talk with Naru this way, "No, when I change, I'm a girl. I have ALL the girl parts, not just boobs and awesome hair. I'd be happy to show you," she turned to look at Umino, "But your boyfriend would have to go, Naru-chan. There are some things I ain't gonna share with guys when I'm a girl."

Makoto snorted, Naru, Umino, and even Kikuko reddened before Naru continued, "No, don't worry about that Kiku-chan. I'm sure you're a girl right now. So... but... IF you're a boy, WHY go to school as a girl?"

"First, the school agreed with mom just because it's harder to change to a boy than to a girl 'cause there's lots more cold water than hot. Stuff like pools, sprinklers, water hoses, faucets, fountains, cold drinks, and rain... And that's just fer starters!."

She paused for a moment to catch her breath before continuing, "Then, well, my dad said all sorts of junk about girls. Like they... we're... weak, stupid, silly, you know. Dumb stuff some people just say without really knowing er thinkin' 'bout something. So my mom thought I should go to school as a girl so I could learn the truth for myself."

Kikuko smiled as she continued, "And boy I've learned a lot about girls and how guys treat them. Which is pretty much like pretty dolls they wanna fight over and impress. Not really like people." She looked a little chagrinned as she continued, "I'm sure you're not like that Umi-chan... Umino-kun. 'Cause you're a good boyfriend so you accept Naru-chan as a person, not a doll or a toy. Like I do... with Mako-chan. And... she does with me, when I'm a girl too. Mako-Chan's a total knockout and kicks ass as a fighter, gotta say. But she's also an incredible friend who understands, and accepts... me. The total mess I am."

"Hey, Kiku-chan, you're not a mess. You HAVE forced me to change some of my dreams of what the perfect boyfriend would be though," Makoto threw in. On a whim, the tall girl darted up and across the floor to kiss Kikuko on the cheek before sitting again, "and thanks for the compliment."

All four of them shared a smile before a red faced Kikuko continued, "But, also, for the first time in my life, I have a whole bunch of friends. I love using the stuff I know to train you guys, keeping in good shape, and kicking monster butt as Io, and with all of us together as a team. The problem is... You've all been girls, at least 'til now. And I've gotta be a girl to be Io... but I don't wanna JUST be Kikuko." She paused for a moment.

"I don't think I want that either, Ranma-chan, " Makoto replied with a wink and a smile.

Kikuko returned Makoto's smile, her face a bit red again.

Naru spoke up, "You know, Kiku-chan you can count on me to help you with that. Now that I know you are... well... sorta part girl and guy, I'll keep that in mind, and look out for your feelings. 'Cause we're friends. And no more fashion tips so you can net a boy. But I MIGHT start pointing out cute outfits you or Mako-chan could wear."

Kikuko smiled, "Thanks, Naru-chan. Even on suggesting outfits." She turned to Umino, "I'd really like to train you, Umino, We need to work together to make our team better. But... I'd really like a guy friend too. And don't worry. I'll try to stay a guy if we are gonna go out to do guy things... you know... umm... stuff... guys do... Who are friends."

Umino paused to ponder. It was still hard to think of this cute girl as a guy, but he saw the change with his own eyes, "I'm not sure what guy things are, but if you wanna go to the electronics shops, arcades, fish markets, or bookstores with me, I'd be happy to have you along.... as a guy. Though I realize you might run into water somewhere. I've gotta admit that you're awfully distracting as a girl."

Kikuko realized the the 'girls distracted guys' part of her dad's teachings on girls might have been right. But only a little, because everything else was still pretty much lies and half-truths.

Naru wanted to make sure Kukuko and Unino understood her approval, "Umi-kun, I think this is a great idea." She then turned to Kikuko, as she continued speaking, "Thanks, Kiku-chan. For opening up even more than you had before. And for sharing your... other... secret. And, I promise you, I'll be your friend always as Naru... and as Sailor Callisto." Naru couldn't keep a couple of small tears from falling by the end of that admission, wiping them away with a simple gesture.

"And, Kukuko... errr.... Ranma-san? I think it'll be great to have a guy friend who's stuck in the middle of the sailor senshi biz like me too." Umino added. Somehow, knowing the cute redhead was at least part guy inside make Kikiko at least a little less cute. And easier to see as 'just' a friend. Unlike Naru-chan, who was the prettiest and coolest girlfriend ever.

Naru piped up with an inspiration, "How 'bout double dates? You and Mako-chan can go out with us. And I don't care if you are a girl or guy on a date like that, Kiku-chan. But we can have fun together. Just the four of us.

Kikuko turned a little red again just from thinking about Mako-chan going out on a date with her or better yet, him. She couldn't keep her eyes off Makoto after that. Makoto answered with a blush of her own. After a few moments, Kikuko let out a big laugh, "With my luck, even if I start as a guy, it'll end up being Umino and his three girl harem... "Umino Muyo" At least 'til I can find hot water again."

"Double-dating's a great idea, Naru-chan!" Makoto added, "And I think some male companionship will do you some good... Ranma-chan."

Umino considered his 'harem' for just a moment, but he realized that there really was only ONE girl in it. He looked thoughtful before continuing, "I think the first thing we need to do, Ranma-chan, is see just how small of a vacuum bottle we can get for you. If you put some hot water in it, you can change back at least once easily. Then we can get you a small fanny pack to put it in. And no matter what it might look like, MY 'harem' only has Space Pirate Naru!"

"Space Pirate Naru, eh? Sounds good, Umino. And, Naru-chan, I'm so glad you'e still one of my best friends.." Kikuko said with a huge smile as she rose from her chair.

"No worries, Kiku-chan. You know... I like the sound of Space Pirate Naru too, actually. Sounds exciting... and romantic. And no clingy, purple haired princess in this story! " Naru looked a bit embarrassed as all four shared a laugh. "Anyways, Kiku-chan, I just forgot what friendship was for a few seconds last night. But I remembered by the time I was home. Since we first met that morning... Both as Naru and Kikuko; as well as Callisto and Io... You were so accepting, encouraging, and kind to me when I was starting out as a Sailor Senshi... since then I've been and always will be your friend and teammate, Sailor Io," Naru replied with a simile as the four of them filed out of the room.

"Thanks Naru-chan, " Kikuko said with a smile as the two couples walked downstairs.

The four were met by a hurtling Shampoo who latched onto Kikuko in a tight hug. "Ranma, Shampoo sorry. Shampoo no loose very very best friend. Almost Sister, or... even... bother." There, it was actually possible to speak that last word about Ranma without bringing the apocalypse. Shampoo reddened and released her friend. "Shampoo remember all Ranma and Shampoo do. And Shampoo help Ranma. And Ranma help Shampoo," She concluded with a deep bow. "Again, Shampoo very sorry. Want Ranma friend," She stood straight again, with tears flowing.

Kikuko used her self control to keep from crying herself, "Thanks so so much, Shampoo-chan. I'm pretty glad you, and Naru-chan know and your'e still my friends. I'm really sorry 'bout not sayin' anythin' before."

Shampoo replied as a smile started to push tears away, "Great grandmother help Shampoo see where Shampoo wrong. And right. And make Shampoo think. Shampoo have two form, still girl. Ranma have two form, still girl. Okay Amazon Ally. So Shampoo want Ranma friend still. Came fast. Right away to tell."

Kikuko could only smile, "Thanks, Shampoo. You helped me when things were bad in my life. And on the day I left, that smile of yours kept me going on that long trip. 'Til finally my mom hugged me again, after ten years."

Shampoo was still grinning, tears a memory, "Thanks, Ranma. Shampoo proud to be friend. Off to work now. Bye!" With that, she ran out of the house, hopped on her bike and sped off.

"Maybe I spoke too soon about clingy purple haired princesses, Ranma... err... Kiku-chan. But it sounds like she was really there for you when you needed it," Naru said as she turned to her friend.

Kikuko's smile almost glowed as she replied, "Yeah, she sure was. And I really needed it. More than I ever had in my life. I can't even say how great it is to have two of my best friends back today." Kikuko looked around, seeing the Tendou girls, Ami, Haruka, Ukyou, and her mother.

With that, everyone concentrated on preparing for school.

***
*** INCOMPLETE DRAFT FIRST 4 SCENES ***
khammel
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Re: DRAFT, First 4 scenes Honor & Love Episode 12

Postby Spokavriel » Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:37 am

I like it, up until Shampoo's leg clinging the pace is good and covers the bases. Getting everything out clearly and believably.

But then the Shampoo scene starts with her clinging to Ranma's leg. That makes sense given how distressed she is but it goes too spasticly fast. There are comments of acceptance but nothing is really done in the moment showing how or why they are reconciled. Shouldn't Ranma and Shampoo have a need to clear it up between them? Maybe even need to cheer each other up a bit from the distress of her earlier bad reaction?
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Re: DRAFT, First 4 scenes Honor & Love Episode 12

Postby khammel » Sat Jul 14, 2012 1:09 pm

I like it, up until Shampoo's leg clinging the pace is good and covers the bases. Getting everything out clearly and believably.

Thanks for pointing this out. Glad you liked the majority of the post.
But then the Shampoo scene starts with her clinging to Ranma's leg. That makes sense given how distressed she is but it goes too spasticly fast. There are comments of acceptance but nothing is really done in the moment showing how or why they are reconciled. Shouldn't Ranma and Shampoo have a need to clear it up between them? Maybe even need to cheer each other up a bit from the distress of her earlier bad reaction?

Good point. That's why I put it up here. :) I will work on that last bit of the scene. I'll just post that section in the future.
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