Putting Ranma 1/2 on its ear...

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Re: Putting Ranma 1/2 on its ear...

Postby talonhunter » Wed Jul 11, 2012 1:20 am

So I'm writing the first story for this thing. (Opening scene so far is only 1000 words, but it will set the tone for how the stories and chapters flow) and I get this insane idea for the opening like a movie or tv series. Needless to say, I got a bit crazy. I found a piece that fit the opening mood and tone and started to write. But now I'm stuck and wonder if this make a subtle intro or an empty one. I know I would get more response over in outlines and scenes, but I'm not quite ready to post this there yet. Tell me what you think so far and what tweaks you think it might need...
Putting Ranma 1/2 on its ear...opening sequence...

The music starts. The screen is completely dark as the jazz rift on a twelve string guitar slowly starts. Light flashes across the walls. It looks like a museum. A shadow guides into the room. Another light flash shows Ranma stealthily approaching a old looking urn. He grabs the urn quickly and unpredictably, almost completely out the way he come I before the alarms start to go off and the music picks up in tempo. He makes his daring get away. The police speed by as Ranko drives the opposite direction. Taking the urn to her lab, Hotaru and Usagi study the old appearing artifact with Ranko. Usagi cries out its a fake and Ranko smiles slyly. Next scene we have Ranma high on Tokyo Tower carelessly playing with the fake artifact. Once the police arrive, he accidentally drops it, shattering the fake with a note inside. Laughingly bouncing away as police find the note. The angry curator takes the note from the officers hand and reads, his face going red as the note clearly calls the man a horses behind and proves once again the wild horse to be smarter than a so called pro. Final scene has Ranko sitting at a sidewalk cafe as a shadow falls across her. Looking up we see a hint of a siloette. With long green hair hiding their profile. Then the screen fades to black once more to the closing of the music.


Thanks for reading...:)
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Re: Putting Ranma 1/2 on its ear...

Postby KonokoHasano » Wed Jul 11, 2012 11:43 am

Not to be nitpicky here, but... why do we have to go with the name 'Ranko'?
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Re: Putting Ranma 1/2 on its ear...

Postby talonhunter » Wed Jul 11, 2012 2:08 pm

Would you believe me if I said it was a force of habit? No real reason other than I'm still structuring the framework for a multiple case storyline and used the first name that came to mind for girl type.
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Re: Putting Ranma 1/2 on its ear...

Postby talonhunter » Fri Jul 13, 2012 6:58 am

True enough. And as I said this is just the framework for a multi case storyline. Names can be changed to protect the innocent...;)...
Of all the things to hear a complaint about though is the use of Ranko to girl type...:?
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