New fukufic: Shadow of the Sun: The Dark Side of the Moon

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Re: New fukufic: Shadow of the Sun: The Dark Side of the Moon

Postby frice2000 » Mon Nov 14, 2011 8:27 pm

Chapter 3 (marked as 4 with the authors note chapter included) of this fic has been posted. Therein:
Senshi Armour to be precise...

Somehow the armour was able to defy the normal color blindness of her dark vision and she saw every detail in a clarity she had never before experienced in her life. The breastplate was more or less form fitting and made of a black substance that looked more like polished onyx than any metal, with a flexible looking dark matte grey material covering the sides and bands of metallic gold running around her waist, splitting around her navel to form an open diamond design.

Above her heart sat a golden crystal cut into an eight pointed star with the two longest arms lying along the vertical plain. Forming a sort of collar that surrounded the crystal and came to a V just above her breasts was more of the same matte grey material coming just short of her neck where the onyx like material took over once more while veins of gold etched leaf-like patterns overtop.

On her shoulders sat a pair of miss matched pauldrons. The one on her left shoulder was a simple curved design that had a second layer underneath it that covered more of her arm, while the one on her right shoulder had a beak like look to it, but with a section of the middle depressed more than the areas to either side. Strapped to her arms were a pair of gauntlets with crossing plates protecting her forearms and connecting to the plates that covered the backs of her gloved hands.

Her legs were unarmored save for a pair of plates that curved around her calves and arched into downward points while the rounded tops connected to the bottom of her breastplate. Over her otherwise bare legs was a grey coat like battle skirt with black trim that was slit in front of either leg all the way up to where it was covered by her armour. On her feet was a pair of, ornamented, armored black boots trimmed with gold that covered her shins and curved to a point just above her knees.

Protecting her head was a tiara like helmet, trimmed in gold and made of the same black material as the rest of the armour. A curved plate covered her forehead like a visor, on which was set another gold gem cut in an elongated diamond pattern. Rounded geometric plates covering her temples and ears held four black and gold feathers each and connected to the visor plate while another pair of smaller plates extended from below them to follow her jaw, stopping just short of her chin. Woven gold bands arched over her crown, coming around to meet in the back to hold the helmet in place.

Yet held in front of her chest by both hands was perhaps the plainest, yet still most interesting thing of all for those who knew what its purpose was... It was an orb about the size of a large grapefruit that looked like it was made of gold. Down the middle ran a jagged crack that nearly split the entire thing into halves.

Ranma quietly walked towards the remains of the last Senshi of Eris.

And Ranma wears that in this chapter so official Fukufic. Yes, it's 'different' in that we're doing the prequel/before the fall story that you usually see after the more traditional fukufic so it's inclusion on the list will make it pretty different in that regard. Also the Senshi are overall not shown in a good light but I find this a compelling and well written story. Really deserves a place on the list especially since the red-head is in the suit now. I can't see how it doesn't meet any nebulous standard making it ineligible for inclusion.
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Re: New fukufic: Shadow of the Sun: The Dark Side of the Moon

Postby Sunshine Temple » Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:21 pm

frice2000 wrote:And Ranma wears that in this chapter so official Fukufic. Yes, it's 'different' in that we're doing the prequel/before the fall story that you usually see after the more traditional fukufic so it's inclusion on the list will make it pretty different in that regard. Also the Senshi are overall not shown in a good light but I find this a compelling and well written story. Really deserves a place on the list especially since the red-head is in the suit now. I can't see how it doesn't meet any nebulous standard making it ineligible for inclusion.


Your snark aside. With the uniform it does count.

As I just got the FF.net notice 6 hours ago. I am adding it now.

Thank you for the additional heads up.
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Re: New fukufic: Shadow of the Sun: The Dark Side of the Moon

Postby frice2000 » Tue Nov 15, 2011 1:53 am

My snark comes from a lot of comments in this thread about the story. I for one think it's a good entertaining read, but we get harsher discussion here then we do on a almost pure fetish piece that was just discussed? I don't get the mindset there, seems so overly imbalanced. That and what does and doesn't get attention in the C&C forum bother me again in regards to standards. I comment on pretty much every story regardless of 'level' as long as I'm familiar with the source material therein. But it's quite disheartening to see authors who really do have compelling stories get such scattered and negative reactions to minutiae when we prop up other stories that have similar problems but shinier more enjoyable features, or worse yet zero comments or interest. Whatever the case still think this is by far the site for that C&C as the comments are at the most classy in contrast to many of the other sites I've seen but people really should be posting on more threads even if the comments are general, do wish their was more encouragement to post in that forum as it seems so overly inactive. It also bothers me that this story I linked and am doing my part to promote by doing so has so few reviews on FFnet for example when stories that are complete junk get as many in one go as this story has on ~1500 word chapters. Whatever, bitter for no reason I suppose. Just feels like the shining of light on quality stories that meet this very specific Ranma-fanfiction trope just isn't being spotlighted as well as it could be.
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Re: New fukufic: Shadow of the Sun: The Dark Side of the Moon

Postby Crescent Pulsar R » Tue Nov 15, 2011 3:51 am

There was an almost pure fetish piece just discussed? *Blinks eyes confusedly* If it's the one I'm thinking of, then what's the difference? Wouldn't all of the topics herein be the same? Because the sailor senshi seifuku is a fetish, too, you know. Ranma waking up with bigger breasts is no different for those who browse the BEA than it is for people here who want to see (and even hunt for stories with) Ranma in a sailor senshi seifuku. And I don't recall much attention being given to the enlarged breasts, at any rate.

That aside, I haven't read this story because I tend to prefer the kind that change what is (divergence and continuance) instead of making things up (alternate universe). I might check it out if the Ranma in question is the Ranma I know in the canon, because I can't tell that much with the story's synopsis (it takes place in the past?) and I care not to read through the story only to find out otherwise. Depending on that, I might read it and thus actually have the option to comment on it.

As far as comments are concerned, I can't say I understand it as most others probably would. For me, I just need a few on occasion for the purpose of fine-tuning my story; I don't need or want anyone to go out of their way any more than they have to, much less in order to provide me with "fuel." That said, it's not often that I comment because I take it very seriously and I don't trust myself to give criticism without also causing discouragement by pointing out too many things. Also, it can be very time-consuming and, while I have that kind of time, I doubt many others do. (The average size of the chapters for the story in question appear to be on the large-ish side, too.) And as an author of fan-fiction myself, I try not to distract myself by (more or less) working on someone else's story. (Especially when I'm actually managing to write something.) That makes sense, right? XD In the end, there are reasons within reasons for why these things happen. And for matters such as this, it's usually difficult or unwise to force the issue.
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Re: New fukufic: Shadow of the Sun: The Dark Side of the Moon

Postby Sunshine Temple » Tue Nov 15, 2011 7:07 am

Well, I know all I said in the previous bit of the thread was

"Ah good find. I'll have to give this one a check. I think I've seen it before, but it's early and I might not be remembering.

Will look into this with more detail later today."

Also looking over the previous posts there does not seem to be any rules voilations.

And I'm not even sure it's that harsh.

Let's see initial post, my reply, comment of vauge similarity and not a fukufic yet, more familiarity, talking about wanting to read, status of revising a secondary chapter. Someone who works with the writer.

Frice.... there's nothing overly harsh here.

Oh, and don't get angry and start drifting off topic here, just because the story is not getting very many FF.net reviews, or even not getting any C&C here.

And yes it is disheartening when deserving stories don't get their due, but taking umbrage over a thread like this over a story you didn't even write? No.

Now if this thread doesn't get back to the subject of Shadow of the Sun: The Dark Side of the Moon, I will have to lock it.
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Re: New fukufic: Shadow of the Sun: The Dark Side of the Moon

Postby Crescent Pulsar R » Tue Nov 15, 2011 9:58 pm

Okay, I decided to go ahead and read it, and it's my opinion that it being a fukufic is very technical. She may look like Ranma and bear her name, but she is not in essence Ranma. As is I'll leave it up to the discretion of "the judge," but my jury is out until I'm sure there's the usual incarnation of Ranma-the-multiple-engaged-martial-artist-who-lives-at-the-Tendo's-house-and-goes-to-Furinkan-in-the-twentieth-century-and-all-that-jazz who will become this senshi -- in which case, I'd personally be willing to consider the story a fukufic.

Also, the writing is fairly good all around.
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Re: New fukufic: Shadow of the Sun: The Dark Side of the Moon

Postby Dumbledork » Wed Nov 16, 2011 2:18 am

Crescent Pulsar R wrote:Okay, I decided to go ahead and read it, and it's my opinion that it being a fukufic is very technical. She may look like Ranma and bear her name, but she is not in essence Ranma. As is I'll leave it up to the discretion of "the judge," but my jury is out until I'm sure there's the usual incarnation of Ranma-the-multiple-engaged-martial-artist-who-lives-at-the-Tendo's-house-and-goes-to-Furinkan-in-the-twentieth-century-and-all-that-jazz who will become this senshi -- in which case, I'd personally be willing to consider the story a fukufic.

Also, the writing is fairly good all around.


I agree. This is not yet Ranma.
And that's the bottom line 'cause Dumbledork said so.

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Re: New fukufic: Shadow of the Sun: The Dark Side of the Moon

Postby frice2000 » Wed Nov 16, 2011 2:47 am

Where does your definition of 'Ranma' start. Are the Sailor Ranko Silver Millennium only stories not Ranma? Yet they're linked from this sites Community on FFnet last I looked. This is pretty much the exact same scenario except rather then going the traditional story route the author is trying something quite different. Also if you read the authors profile page he's already got plans to write a more traditional story as this tales sequel. Considering the dearth of good fukufics recently and the tired formulaic nature of many can't say that trying something new is a bad idea. Is this 'Ranma' a Ranma in name only? Yes and no. I've read stories that start with a Ranma further divorced from the canon character then this, but with supposedly the same childhood, and I didn't feel the need to be overly critical then nor would I mark those that are Ranma/sm fukufics less valid for inclusion. However, I do get your points and as I said to the author in my review of this chapter a more standard story would've likely been better received by a wider margin of readers. That still doesn't make this story and of a fairly nice level less compelling. I too don't like the spy element and wish there was more focus on characterization since that'll be quite interesting to see handled when we jump forward. I think the criticism comes from both of you more that this is a origin 'book' rather then the more traditional fodder we'll likely see in the next story.

I simply don't see how that's a reason to mark it as not a Fukufic when for example a really good story like Fire's Destinies Child would fit just fine even though it too had plenty of non-traditional elements. Is The Return a fukufic because Ranma's character has changed so much? Its a sticky question but in my opinion a non-essential one since the point of the list, to my understanding, is for spotlight shining and sharing of some pretty specific but general ideas and asthethic terms. We've. Also already established that a SM cross isn't essential for the definition no? So its hard to me to see a prequel not counting too. I do wish Sunny and the powers that be would make a more solid definition and determination if this is problematic. And I'm not saying any of this to be snarky nor was this post in anyway sacrcasm.
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Re: New fukufic: Shadow of the Sun: The Dark Side of the Moon

Postby Crescent Pulsar R » Wed Nov 16, 2011 3:18 am

My definition of Ranma starts with the setting. What we have here is someone named Ranma in Sailor Moon, not someone who is definitely Ranma in Ranma 1/2. She is essentially an original character as is. Typically, a fukufic starts with Ranma and adds the past life later (if there was one), and I don't fault this story for doing it the other way around. Like I said, if I knew for certain that this Ranma's life would later become memories for the Ranma, then I wouldn't mind calling this a fukufic this early. (Putting the horse before the cart, as it were? :P )

Anyway, I'll check the reviews and see if I can come up with anything to say.
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Re: New fukufic: Shadow of the Sun: The Dark Side of the Moon

Postby Dumbledork » Wed Nov 16, 2011 3:22 am

It's an excellent story, I agree, but in my opinion it's not a real Ranma story until it involves (at least for a little while) the original manga setting. Once this story continues aftr the Fall and the reincarnation of the senshi and Ranma awakens to his old life, then, yes, this is a Ranma story.
And that's the bottom line 'cause Dumbledork said so.

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