FANFIC RANTING! BAD FANFICS MAKE ANGRY!

Where stuff about fanfiction that doesn't fit into any other category goes. Try to make sure that new topics here actually couldn't actually go somewhere else.

Postby TerraEpon » Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:44 pm

bissek wrote:Later books also have Dudley destroying his Playstation in 1994 - an impressive feat, seeing as Playstations wouldn't exist until 1995


Well, that's not quite true. The PSX was released in Japan in 1994. Granted, the story takes place in England, but they ARE Wizards...

(never read em, so I dunno anything really)


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Postby Spokavriel » Sun Apr 27, 2008 11:35 pm

Dudley's family with the exception of Harry are Muggles. They even have a hatred of Dudley's aunt for getting involved with a wizzard ("That Potter") and furthering the curse of magic on their home. At least that's how it seemed to be from their attitudes before Harry got out of their home.

And I could see them getting a Sony device in it's introduction year but seeing that it was a Christmas shopping season release it's still kinda implausible.
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Postby Dumbledork » Mon Apr 28, 2008 1:29 am

getting involved with a wizzard]


Are they related to Rincewind? :lol: :D :P
And that's the bottom line 'cause Dumbledork said so.

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Postby Spokavriel » Mon Apr 28, 2008 1:41 am

No their allot more annoying.
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Postby bissek » Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:29 pm

If it was a Christmas release it's still impossible. Dudley destroyed the PSX in July of 1994.
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Postby Tuisto » Sat Jan 31, 2009 1:37 am

I wrote the following to be a new thread but recalled that this thread already existed, so as to not clutter the forum anymore than it already is..., I present copy and paste.

-= = = = =

Have you ever, in your perusing of fanfictions, come across one so wretchedly horrible, that for a moment you have to pause and cleanse your mind by fire?
Have you felt compelled to leave reviews lambasting the author for their audacity to call their "poo on the screen" a fanfiction?

Well, I think we'd all like to see what -YOU- consider a really terrible fanfiction.
Rant and scream about them, it's a good cathartic release you know.


= = = = = =


As for what brigns this thread about... well, see I'm also a poster over at SpaceBattles.com, a obviously SciFi fanfiction forum, and if you ever cruise through the TV-Xovers, StarGate/Atlantis etc sections of Fanfictionnet, you may of come across the rambling, non-nonsensical reviews of a user by the handle of Samael3
Even though he's apparently not aware of it, several of the stories he trashes about are ones I've assisted in beta-testing lately.
Well, after a while of seeing the really wretchedly offensive things he says in his reviews, you'd think he must surely be the worlds greatest fanfiction writer... nay sadly this is not the case.
Now the fine folks at SpaceBattles just call him "Sammy the troll" if that's any indication... But now I must unfortunately direct you to his "story" titled "Infinite Convergence". The best way I can describe it is as a madman's menagerie.
If you can actually follow his story, I'd suggest you seek psychiatric help.

It just... annoys me... -greatly- annoys me, that someone could be so profoundly prolific in writing such an awful, awful string of gibberish in the guise of a story, and then actually have the gall to pass out condemning, albeit rambling, reviews to authors of really good stories.
He even bombed bad reviews on the One Million, two hundred thousand word Epic, best fanfiction ever!
...and that's an offense that should be a crime against fanfics everywhere.

I guess some people are just naturally included to be asses, and are too narcissistic to give decent credit where credit is due. But jimminy cricket his fanfiction **bleep** #$#%^# **bleep** awful.

In closing, I -DARE- you to find a story of equal or greater awfulness to Samael3's!
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Postby Spokavriel » Sat Jan 31, 2009 2:05 am

I think there's a statement that fits this. "Those who can, do. Those who can't, Teach. Those who can't teach, Criticize." I think he's griping out of his inferiority complex. But I don't want to talk too much lest it attract him here.
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Postby Comartemis » Sat Jan 31, 2009 2:14 am

Can we extend this to complaining about authors themselves? 'Cause I've got one I'd like to share, fresh out of the Animesuki Nanoha Fanfiction thread.

This particular person is a rather prolific artist/author by the name of Evil Rick. For reasons I can't quite fathom he has an obsession with Vita from Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha and features her prominently in all his stories, none of which I have bothered to read for reasons I'll get into in a moment.

Rick has been a part of the Nanoha boards since a while before I joined and started contributing to the Original Characters thread (last May). Around the time I first joined, I happened to read a chapter of one of his self-made doujinshi, "Rise of the Techno Union". I put it down after exactly two pages and told the boy he had to work on his spelling and grammar and that his art was lacking, which it truly was compared to the numerous doujins (h and otherwise) I've read before then.

Now to be fair to Rick, I had just come from reading a translation of Himura Keiseki's Sword Dancers doujin and maybe I had set my standards too high for him.

But now let's fast forward a few months to last... November, I think it was, when Rick posted an image of Jail Scaglietti in a Space Marine-style battlesuit, a poorly-drawn one at that, on the Original Character thread and asked us what we thought of it. I was the first one to respond, and I told him it was a horrible idea.

Jail Scaglietti, for those not familiar with Nanoha StrikerS, is a stereotypical mad scientist, not a freaking SPARTAN-II. His role in battle is to sit in his lab and direct his minions from afar, not get up on the front lines and engage the enemy directly. I tried to tell Rick that having Jail on the front lines was as bad an idea as having Caro (resident dragon-summoner and worst fighter in the series) fighting in melee.

Out comes the next doujin... and there's Jail in his battlesuit, looking like he stepped right out of a cheesy 1950s sci-fi series. Oh, and take a look on the next page! Guess who's throwing punches instead of summoning dragons like she should be?

Rick has several flaws that make him a nuisance to the forum, but unfortunately aren't nearly enough to get him banned.

First, he is sure beyond doubt that all his ideas are good ones. Second, when he asks us for our opinions he ignores everything we say that isn't entirely positive. Third, when we say negative things about his work, he reacts as if he's been flamed and tries to play the victim card. Fourth, as I demonstrated above, he's perfectly willing to warp characters and powers to his liking to create the situation he desires, even if the result utterly rapes the canon of the universe he's working with, the personalities of the characters he's using, or the laws of common sense and good judgment.

Last and most damning of all, his spelling and grammar is absolutely horrendous, akin to that of a brain dead first-grader. He claims to be Mexican, and uses the excuse that English isn't his first language as a shield against criticism directed against his writing. This absolutely does not fly with the residents of the OC forum, several of whom also do not have English as a first language but who post as fluently as any given person on Fukufics. Worse still, Rick has been given several offers for people to help beta-read and spellcheck his work. On one occasion he got offended by this. On all the others he ignored them completely. To this day, I don't believe he's ever even used Microsoft Word's spellcheck function. Draw whatever conclusions you like from this.

/rant
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Postby Spokavriel » Sat Jan 31, 2009 2:37 am

Ranting about a person directly instead of their work or actions I believe is flaming. My Nighty Night thread in Spamville got locked for getting close to that without directly ranting about the person.
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Postby Comartemis » Sat Jan 31, 2009 2:43 am

Only if the rant is offensive, I think. There aren't any direct insults contained in my last post, just complaints, so I don't think it counts as a flame.
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Postby Yrael » Sat Jan 31, 2009 3:22 am

One of my biggest gripes is not with the authors/stories, but with the reviewers, as briefly mentioned above.

It absolutely boggles my mind that some of the horrible stories like the ones mentioned in this thread get dozens of "OMG GREAT STORY CAN'T WAIT TIL NEXT PLZ UPDATE SOON" reviews while really solid, good stories often go almost unnoticed. I've seen the absolute worst fics get good reviews before, to that point that I rarely read story reviews at all anymore.

In terms of length, I will not read a fic that less than 1,200 words. I'm sorry, but I've yet to see even the best writers on FF.net create a good story in less than three paragraphs. That's not a story, that's not even a scene. That's an idea that hasn't been fleshed out yet, nothing more.

Yaoi...is hit and miss. While I don't mind it per say if the writing is solid and it's done well, that is very rarely the case. See the Naruto/Sasuke section of your local fanfic site for supporting evidence.

Bad grammar and such I can deal with IF they're making a visible effort. If they just say "sorry 4 my bad spelling, enlesh isnt myy firstt langage", that's not a language problem, that's just being @#&*ing lazy.

The moment I see 'matchup polls' or 'x reviews for the next chapter' I automatically close that particular browser tab.

Sadly, after so much exposure to all of the above, I can generally spot a good fic from a bad on FF.net simply by reading the summaries. Which can be annoying in their own right when they post a summary of the newest chapter, instead of having the brilliant flash of insight that I may not have read the rest of your bloody story yet.

Grumble.
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Postby mondu_the_fat » Sat Jan 31, 2009 3:35 am

From what I've seen of Samael3's reviews and fic, he isn't so much a troll as he seems to be in serious need of psychiatric help. I think he's actually insane as opposed to simply being antagonistic+stupid.
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Postby Crescent Pulsar » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:57 am

Infinite Convergence wrote:“No” said the demon with a deep voice, the sort of deep voice you never like to expect form some one except when you’re dying. “He’s Mr. Benn an impostor”

That pretty much tells me what to expect right there. Simply horrible.
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Postby lwf58 » Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:41 am

Spokavriel wrote: Ranting about a person directly instead of their work or actions I believe is flaming. My Nighty Night thread in Spamville got locked for getting close to that without directly ranting about the person.


That's because it was ranting about other members of this forum, not a critique of an unrelated person. What was said in that topic was an invitation to the two in question to retaliate. The comments were rather insulting, and I wouldn't blame either of them for being offended.

More specifically, the rule that I saw as being broken was:

Forum Rules wrote:In this forum, a flame is considered to be a derogatory comment aimed deliberately at another member.


Merriam-Webster's Dictionary wrote:Derogatory
1 : detracting from the character or standing of something — often used with to, towards, or of
2 : expressive of a low opinion : disparaging <derogatory remarks>


By that rule, those comments were flames since they were very definitely derogatory and deliberately aimed at other forum members. Each and every forum member is entitled to their opinions of others, but if you want to rant about them, do so privately, not in a public post. As it was, I let you off very lightly by simply locking the topic. By the letter of the rules, I should have levied tempbans.

As for this topic, I see nothing wrong with it as long as it does not target other forum members. The flame rules here are meant to help prevent bilious arguments among members. We couldn't care less about folks who aren't here to instigate or participate in a flame war.

(...Why do I get the feeling I just posted an "open season" sign...?)
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Postby Yrael » Tue Apr 14, 2009 8:29 am

Ranting due to extreme frustration while fic searching.

I still cannot figure out why the Naruto fanfiction section is so, utterly, utterly, horrible when compared to the other sections I frequent on FF.net (Ranma, Love Hina, and a few others). Generally, the majority of the stories posted are at least readable, but the Naruto section....I really wonder sometimes why these authors are posting this drivel and trying to pass it off as Naruto fanfiction.

Let's take a look a a few summaries...thankfully, they let me know immediately most of the time that I don't need to take a look at the fic.

Code: Select all
"Naruto is just an ordinary boy leading an ordinary life...until supermodel and movie star Uchiha Sasuke moves in next door!"

"Naruto is your average teen in high school with friends and grilfriends, but throw a baby in his lap and give him a bastard for a new student and his life won't be very average, anymore."

"Sasuke is the prince of vmpires. He startes school because of a blonde with tan skin and blue eyes."

"Sasuke, a suscidal abused basket-case, gets moved by his brother to a new town to start a new life; He meets a lonely blonde teenage outcast and his colorful freinds, they fall for each other, but when Sasuke's homo-phobic grandmother comes to town..."

"Naruto, a Uchiha Crops chauffeur to the youngest son who is well known as a playboy who refused to settle down with just one person."

"AU FemNaru. Ragnarok is a secret organisation which kills in the name of justice and only kills criminals of the highest order. When ANBU Captain Uchiha Itachi met Namikaze Sora, the leader of Ragnarok, their love and feelings are put to the test"

"Tenten is a new student in Konoha Musical School. Although everyone is a ninja including Tenten , the main subject of everyone is music. Tenten is a piano major. Will romance bloom? Find out what happens……"

"The Vampire Pein and his brother's, Zetsu, Kakuzu and Kisame band together to buy a birthday present for their hated little brother, Sasori. Sadly, Deidara is chosen as a pet. Poor him. It's a shame Sasori, under all his silence, loves rough bondage!"


The main problem with most of these is that they're removing most of what makes Naruto...Naruto. When you're changing locations, history, timeline, characters, all you have are characters who barely resemble the originals enough to use the same name. You may as well be writing original fiction.

Two, by all that's holy I really, really wish FF.net give me a way to filter out NarutoxSasuke matchups. Words can't describe how sick I am of sifting through the hordes upon hordes of these stories that are littered through the section. I don't mind yaoi as a rule - one of the better stories I read recently was a NarutoxSakuraxSasuke triple pairing that I normally would avoid, except that it was extremely well written.

And there lies the problem. With both of the above, these setups COULD be plausible but 99.98999% of the time they're horribly written with nonexistent plots, extremely shallow characters, and a complete lack of style. I get the feeling that majority of these are written by young, angsty teens who've just discovered the magic of internet publishing. But I could be wrong.

/rant_off
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