The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Where stuff about fanfiction that doesn't fit into any other category goes. Try to make sure that new topics here actually couldn't actually go somewhere else.

Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby Comartemis » Sat Apr 24, 2010 2:42 pm

From NGE: Nobody Dies. This is what happens when you mix canon!Rei with Terrifying!Rei and leave them alone for about five minutes.

"I wish to hit him so hard that whoever pulled me out of him will be crowned the next King of England. I will conquer Asia to build an Empire for the manpower that would build the machine I would use to tap that ass. I would initiate a forbidden ritual to ascend to the next step of existence, so I could hit him like the fist of an angry god."

Sohryu stares at Ayanami, tapping her fingers together as her eyes glance from side to side and she tries to place the normally reserved girl with the...elaborate...scenarios she now has planned for expressing her feelings towards her world's version of Shinji.


"This is what the other Rei tells me these feelings mean," Ayanami says, a conspiratorial look at Sohryu indicating that this is a conversation that will be kept private, "I like these feelings."

Sohryu nods, wringing her hands.

"The other Rei told me that she admires both you and Ikari in the same way, but does not act on those feelings out of her friendship to you both. And her kinship with Ikari. I do not...feel that kinship with my Sohryu or Ikari."

"What do you feel?"

Ayanami pauses, tapping her fingers together as she thinks.

"Commander Ikari says I should not act on my feelings towards Pilot Sohryu," she says, "As that would constitute an act of murder. I feel...anger. Jealousy. Pilot Ikari looks at her in a way I want him to look at me."

"Well...there's probably a reason..."

"I believe Pilot Ikari is guided by hormones," Ayanami says, "Can he not see that Pilot Sohryu is a...raging bitch?"

Red eyes look from side to side, as a small smile crosses the pale face. Ayanami has discovered profanity.

Sohryu sighs, reaching out and placing her hands on Ayanami's shoulders.

"Rei," she says, "I think there is a very good explanation b-behind your confusion. You've never b-been close to anyone before, have you?"


"Well...he's your brother," Sohryu says, "I...w-well my brother and I were close, and s-sometimes people mistook that closeness for something e-else. B-but he wanted to protect me, and when Sh-Shinji and I...w-well, he was concerned. Like you are, for your Shinji."

"I am protective of Ikari. I show my affection by vetoing his romantic interests."

She pauses, thinking.

"I still wish to perform intercourse with him," Ayanami explains, "I wish to tap that ass. I wish to tap it hard."

Sohryu sighs, resting her face on both hands as Ayanami smiles a little wider, eyes widening as somewhere deep within her mind she comes to a startling, almost euphoric conclusion which makes the oddest of sounds come out from between her lips.

A small, girlish laugh.

"I understand, now."

She gets up, walking across the bedroom and opening the door. Scrambling to her feet, Sohryu follows her, watching from the doorway as Ayanami walks to the other bedroom and knocks on the door. The other door opens. Asuka opens it, and from the doorway Sohryu can see Rei fixing the ventilation cover.

"Pilot Sohryu," Ayanami says, "I wish to talk."

Asuka rolls her eyes, hands on her hips.

"What do you want, Wondergirl?"

Ayanami smiles, the very sight of it catching Asuka off guard. Not, however, as much as the statement.

"Stop tormenting Ikari, you kraut bitch."

Sohryu's jaw drops open. Rei claps her hands together and squeals. And Asuka grabs Ayanami by the front of her pajamas, swearing in German. Ayanami responds by head butting her.

"Alright! Alternate reality fight!"
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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby Shanami » Sat May 08, 2010 4:09 pm

From Ranma's Ascension comes the best single explanation of any Jusenkyo logic I've read since people started questioning how the octupus drowned in a landlocked, inland pool of water:

"How come your breasts don't sag when you're not wearing a bra? Any natural woman as well-endowed as you would sag when not supported. I've always wondered..."

Ranko smiled knowingly. "Actually, my breasts do sag. I can feel it." She continued in an imitation-Chinese accent, "Is tragic story. 1,500 years ago a young woman drowned in spring, and now anyone who falls in spring takes form of beautiful girl."

"I knew that. How does it answer my question?"

"Well, when she drowned, she was obviously underwater."

After a moment Akane put two and two together. "And mammary glands float! Your 'cursed' form is the shape of a girl with buoyant boobs..."
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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby Comartemis » Sun Jul 11, 2010 2:08 pm

Here's one from Deus ex Evangelion, a fic where Shinji gets his soul sucked into Unit-01 in his first fight and Asuka takes over as main character.

The commander's office was dark, windows shuttered and not letting any of the geo-front's artificial light through. The only source of illumination was the Tree of Life, flaring with bright but malevolent red under Asuka's feet. Still, the girl was fighting a grin, watching as the homo bastard sapiens, hands tented in front of his face, tone barely above a whisper, calm and deliberate, ripped the US Navy admiral in front of him into tiny pieces.

The girl didn't know how Ikari Gendo managed to get the admiral (whose name she herself still didn't know) away from his ship and onto his proverbial carpet, but the slight look of unease on the officer's face was worth its weight in gold.

Asuka also didn't know how the commander managed to make the admiral stand at attention without so much as raising his tone, but she swore she had to learn it. It was actually quite funny, how she couldn't decide which of the two men she loathed more.

"… thus you have overstepped your jurisdiction, as, according to the UN charter, in an emergency situation such as the attack of an entity codenamed Gaghiel, Nerv is duty-bound to take command of all available military recourses and destroy the hostile with extreme prejudice," the commander's voice was level, quiet and, surprisingly, without a hint of boredom, as if he was giving the situation his whole attention. Said attention was making the admiral in front of him very uneasy, "You also overstep you authority, by undertaking punitive actions and incarceration of two minors that are, technically, not a part of the military command structure and answer only to the Nerv Research Institute, also in accordance with the UN charter. This misuse of your authority has been recorded and the relevant ministries, as well as your superiors, have been notified. You are, as of now, stripped of command over the pacific fleet and are ordered to return to Washington-4 for debriefing," the tone didn't change in the slightest, but somehow, perhaps telepathically, the commander transmitted that said 'debriefing' would hardly be pleasant.

To Asuka's right, Suzuhara stood, also at attention, but for different reasons, namely his crotch and ass muscles hurting so badly from Asuka's kicking two days ago, that this was the most comfortable pose he could take. He also sported a black eye and a healing split lip. From his expression, he wasn't enjoying the proceedings in the slightest and would have rather taken the time to lie down and try to recover. The girl's smile widened fractionally.

"… you are dismissed," Gendo finally finished, letting the sweating admiral salute sharply and, turning on his heels, stalk out of the intimidating office. The commander's eyes focused on the Children.

"Pilot Sohryu, while your actions during the engagement of Gaghiel are without reproach," here, an almost amused undertone emerged in the ice-cold voice, "your misconduct towards the Forth Child demands further disciplinary measures. Your monetary allowance will be further reduced to it's minimum for the next month and your Nerv recreation center use privileges will be revoked for the timeframe of two weeks. Nerv will not allow you to sabotage its resources through childish outbursts. You both are dismissed, report to Doctor Akagi for the synchronization test."

Aaand Asuka knew again why she hated Ikari Gendo more than anyone else on the planet. The smirk Suzuhara's bruised mug was currently displaying wasn't helping the matters either.

Stalking out of the bastard's office, the girl leaned onto the escalator's rail, huffing angrily, doing a quick re-calculation of what she wouldn't be able to allow herself to buy for the next month. That list was getting longer and longer with each visit to her boss's lair, funnily enough. Suzuhara, though currently moving much more slowly than her, finally managed to catch up, still ramrod-straight, but smirking impudently.

"Are you happy now?" the girl snapped at him, glaring hatefully, "I'm down to ten thousand yen because of you."

"Eh? Aren't we, like, getting 500 grands a month?" the boy inquired, slightly surprised by the unusually low amount.

"Not my first pay cut this month," Asuka muttered darkly, wondering whether or not she should risk bumming off of Misato's fast food stash. At least Ayanami was contributing to the utility bills. Maybe Kaji could spot her some cash do tide her over? No, she was still pissed at him for jumping ship during the battle.

"Not the second either, apparently," the boy returned smartly, grin returning, "I could spot you a loan or something, devil, since I, the rookie, get more money then you, veteran."

The urge to push the stupid bastard off the escalator and watch him fall screaming half a kilometer down was strangely enticing.

"Fuck you, Fourth. Stick your sodding money up your unclean hole," Asuka cursed, turning away from the current bane of her existence, "I don't need your charity."

"Feh," Toji huffed, shifting cautiously and wincing in pain, "Wasn't suggesting charity."

Jerking her shoulders, the young german stepped off the escalator, having finally arrived at the corridor leading to the Eva cages, and modulating her stride so that Suzuhara could keep up but had to move fast to do so (that would put the boy in more agony then her simply walking off would, she figured).

"What were you suggesting then, bastard?" she inquired, trying to keep her voice natural. She needed the money, pride be damned. She wasn't about to live a month on frozen fish, and mooching off of Ayanami was out of the question, since the commander held the key to the albino's bank account and would probably punish Asuka further if he discovered where the money was going.

"We-el," Suzuhara smirked, grin widening further, as he hobbled behind her, "I figured asking you to pose for pictures was out of the question…"

"Yeah, you know what, asshole? Fuck you." The girl snarled, accelerating her strides slightly and making Suzuhara wince again as he was forced to hobble faster.

Jerking her access card through the slot and walking through Unit 01's opened cage door, the girl stopped in front of the intimidating horned visage, wondering whether Shinji would be able to hack into the Magi and allocate her more funds. Nah, Gendo'd catch on and she'd have to live on Misato's cooking for a year or something equally horrible.

"Well, as I was saying," the boy behind her panted with effort to catch up, still determined to continue the conversation, "I was thinking, a date would do."

The young german actually blinked in confusion.

"Are you a masochist or something? Because if you're thinking since you saw me undressing you could get some action from me, you're just begging for another ass-kicking," she remarked in a measured voice promising violence.

"Did I say anything about getting action?" Suzuhara wondered neutrally, coming to a halt next to her, a bit closer then she would have liked. Asuka's mind flashed back quickly, thinking that below that shirt of his was a very well-defined and tasty-looking…

Since there were no walls to bash her head against, Asuka settled for pinching her arm discreetly.

"I said a date," the boy continued coming even closer and clearly violating her personal space. Asuka was still unclear whether she should do something about it or not. Only now she noticed that she was actually a little flushed at the cheeks.

Perhaps forgiving Kaji wouldn't be such a bad idea, after all, considering the alternative…

"Ok, fine," her lips breathed out, seemingly without input from her cranial nerve, "One date, and you spot me a few dozen grand to tie me over for the next month. That's it, no strings attached."

The happy look on the beaten jerk's face almost caused her to smile.

"And no strings attached, or you'll think the last beating was a lover's caress, Suzuhara!" she repeated her warning, trying to sound as severe as possible.

"Yeah-yeah, of course," the idiot grinned goofily, "Pick you up at six on Friday?"

"Fine," The girl shortly responded, internally thanking her lucky star that the idiot was still a child. Six o'clock? Please. Probably a movie and a dinner at some crappy fast-food joint. Or maybe he was being thoughtful and didn't want her to think he had something untoward in mind by not setting the time later? Damn it, why was she now thinking that the date was something more than it was?

Turning around quickly, the girl marched out of the cage towards the cage observation room where Akagi was probably already waiting, leaving Suzuhara to catch up.

The boy just stood there, grinning like an idiot, until he turned towards the purple visage above him. His smile slowly slid off. Wasn't Unit 01's head much closer then it was before? Was it, like, glaring at him right now? Why were its eyes burning so brightly?

Without a sound, such a stealthy move seemingly impossible for a machine its size, the Evangelion twisted its right hand out of the restraints.

Then, ever so slowly, it ran one gigantic purple finger across its neck.

And then, said finger, the size of a medium car, pointed clearly at Toji.

The hand then, equally quietly, with only a slight groan of stretched metal, returned to its place, sneaking back into the restraints. The head, its terrifying horn gleaming in the lamplight, rose back to its original position and the bright-white eyes dulled to a steady pale yellow.

Robotically, forcing one leg in front of the other, Suzuhara Toji marched out of the cage, a grimace of unadulterated horror on his face, sweat running down his back.

Perhaps he should've thought the whole date thing through more thoroughly.
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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby Atlan » Mon Jul 12, 2010 3:20 am

These are from Takamachi Nanoha of 2814, a fic where Nanoha becomes a Green Lanturn. ... ha_of_2814

"Eh…" Sakura said, eyes whirling at all the unfamiliar terms. "Hoeeee!"

"Here, let me show you the relevant pages on Tv Tropes," Sailor Mercury said kindly.

"NO!" Sakura cried. "Internet, bad place! Tomoyo's been there, and she's been doing things…"

Green Lantern finally allowed herself to smile. "Thank you, minna-san. Um, incidentally Negi-chan, what shampoo do you use for your hair? Because I can't help but notice how smooth and silky it is."

Asuna, intimately familiar with Negi's bathing habits, rolled her eyes as Negi blinked with confusion. "Um, my hair? I just use some generic brand. I'm not very sure which, Asuna-san is the one who buys it."

"Sunsilk with conditioner," Konoka provided cheerfully.

"Oh, thank you for telling me your beauty secrets, Negi-chan!" Green Lantern said. "Though it's too bad a pretty girl like you wears her hair so short. You'd look so nice with a couple of ribbons."

Kotaro suddenly burst out in hysterical laughter, clutching at his stomach on the floor and trying desperately to breath as a worried Superman checked him for Joker Venom. The wide, definitely Joker-esque grin spreading on Haruna's face was quite terrifying, causing Yellow Rings from the future to try and break the time barrier to get at her.

"Eh?" said Negi, suddenly chibified in confusion as Ala Alba all developed interesting looks. "But I'm n–"

"Oh, she's right Negi-CHAN!" Asuna said with a wide, malicious smile. "You should really start growing your hair out long. Remember how cute you looked during the school festival when you wore that kitsune girl outfit? The boys were all flocking in!"

"I have some ribbons that would look absolutely darling on you, Negi-chan!" Konoka said. "Maybe we can try them out at home!"

"And hey, no need to be so self-conscious about your chest, Negi-chan!" Asakura said, her own set going 'gainax-gainax' and making all sorts of watchers happy. Neptune elbowed Uranus for staring. "Maybe you're just a late bloomer like Yuetchi, Honya and Makie-chan. And if not, I'm sure some boy out there will be able to appreciate you for you. Remember Tertium-kun?"

"B-but… I'm not… I'm a…" Negi turned to Superman and Tuxedo Mask beseechingly as the other girls began to regal Green Lantern with all sorts of Negi-chan anecdotes.

As Superman dazedly wondered whether he should stop this, Tuxedo Mask, with all solemnity, pulled a rose out of nowhere and handed it to Negi. "A beautiful flower for a beautiful flower," he said, face completely straight.

Negi wanted to cry.

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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby Spokavriel » Thu Jul 15, 2010 5:53 pm

Warrior of Chaos and Evolution Chapter 3 wrote:One of the women in the room snorted at Ranma's outburst. "Learn the facts first boy before you open your mouth. We are Chinese Amazons. Some time ago your father came to our village in his cursed form and consumed a great deal of our food stores. The seven of us are the hunting party that was sent out to catch and kill what we thought was a dumb beast. Your father's cursed form was to be the main course a banquet to redeem the shame that loosing the food he ate had caused our warriors."

Ranma nodded his head following along so far. "Okay, I get what you're saying so far. But, how does hunting a moron lead to my mother getting excited over a mistress for my father?"

The Amazon keeping Shampoo in place on the purple-haired girl's right answered Ranma's question. "Little cousin here was defeated in combat by your father. Under Amazonian law, he is now her husband. Furthermore, Amazonian law now makes you Shampoo's son in the eyes of the village and your mother, since she has not protested the union, is now Shampoo's sister. Sadly your barbaric Japanese laws don't recognize this and so your birth mother has stated that your claim mother is to be known in these lands as your father's mistress."

Another Amazon chose to add her two cents at this time, "Enough with the explanations Conditioner! We've waited long enough for Shampoo's new son to arrive so that we can finish with the wedding. Who's going to be the witness to the consummation?"

Nodoka quickly jumped in. "I'll take care of that. Conditioner, would you mind telling my son what he needs to know about the Amazons while I make sure that his father is manly with his mistress?"

Conditioner nodded her head and motioned for another Amazon to take her place. She then watched as Nodoka cheerfully lead Genma and Shampoo to the master bedroom. The Amazon thanked the goddesses that it was Genma and not Ranma who was her cousin's husband. Both Saotome men were obviously very strong fighters and Genma didn't run the risk of contaminating the Amazonian gene pool with whatever madness Nodoka had.
All I can really say is Ouch. Ranma being seen as relatively undesirable with all his talents. Major ouch against Nodoka.
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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby Comartemis » Sun Jul 25, 2010 10:35 am

Here's one from Kyon: Big Damn Hero, a Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya fanfic by Durandall in which Kyon has to save Yuki from being deleted by the IDSE by telling Haruhi about her powers. In the current arc, Kyon and his sister are visiting their aunt Rika and uncle Keiichi out in the countryside, a little town called Hinamizawa (yes, it's turned into a Higurashi crossover). Yuki is tagging along in an ethereal "data spirit" form to keep an eye on Kyon, but she seems to have attracted the attention of one of the locals...

Hanyuu's life was generally happy and uncomplicated. Outside of a few painful centuries that she tried not to dwell on, anyway. After surviving that unfortunate disaster with Rika, finally arriving in a world where they could overcome that terrible fate....

Since then, Rika had built herself a very happy -- if very unorthodox -- lifestyle. Having no physical form to interact with the world directly, Hanyuu instead followed her closest friend, advising of unfortunate events in advance when possible, and enjoying the physical world vicariously through Rika on occasion. Keiichi really was adorable, and these days, people were constantly inventing intriguing new sweets to taste. Both were delectable, in their own ways.

Still, Rika meant that she wasn't alone in the world; she was the precious link Hanyuu had to the world around her, the reason she could consider herself more than a phantom, outside of some occasional uses of her power. And she loved Rika -- they were closer than sisters ever could be. Naturally, when Rika had set her strange plan in motion, Hanyuu realized that who Rika loved, she too loved.

And that meant that even though she was not, strictly speaking, related by blood to Kyon and his sister, she loved them, too. She didn't see them outside of their visits to Hinamizawa, but just like Rika's children, and the children of their friends, they were precious to her.

So when she found a strange girl, as ethereal as herself watching Kyon and his sister, she had to do something about it. Rika wasn't very concerned, yet ... but she was curious. And for her family, Hanyuu would keep an eye on the strange girl.

She was scared to the point of crying and waking Rika up in the middle of the night when Kyon -- somehow -- suddenly vanished into nothingness, leaving no trace behind. The mysterious figure that had been following him likewise vanished, but before Rika and Hanyuu could press into the situation and investigate further ... he reappeared just as abruptly! As far as Hanyuu could determine, he either slept through the entire thing, or had simply fallen asleep again before reappearing.

The girl had reappeared, too, watching distantly, her eyes studying Hanyuu curiously. And even though she could tell Rika about the other girl, Rika herself couldn't see her.

Naturally, that was why she was watching Kyon soak in the tub the morning after he arrived. She had no ulterior motive to keep an eye on him, or admire his surprisingly toned physique as he patiently watched over one of his younger cousins -- Rika and Keiichi's son, Shutaro -- while they soaked. She was just ensuring he was okay, unhurt after the mysterious events, and that was the only reason she was staring at him so closely!

Shutaro decided he had enough soaking and climbed out of the bath, and as he finished toweling off and headed out, Hanyuu realized uncomfortably that the other spirit was there, too. The quiet girl with short, light purple hair, staring fixedly at her. Fine, then, if it was going to come to spying on her loved ones, Hanyuu was willing to use force!

"I am a being that has gone beyond man," she warned the smaller girl, raising her hands threateningly.

"Interesting," the girl remarked, her own hands shooting out lightning-fast, and seizing Hanyuu's.

She had to fight to restrain her shock; she hadn't expected to actually be able to touch the other spirit so easily! Kyon, naturally, was aware of neither of them, just leaning back in the tub and staring at the ceiling.

"I will not let you hurt him," both Hanyuu and the girl insisted, staring at one-another, hands linked.

"Right," Kyon announced to no one in particular, standing up in the tub, water sloughing off him. Hanyuu and the other girl both found their heads turning, eyes flicking to the young man as he stepped out of the bathtub and looked around for a towel. From the vantage of the doorway, Hanyuu bemusedly thought that their linked hands might provide inadvertent modesty to him, covering up the most interesting areas.

From the vantage of her and the other girl, such a thing was not an issue. After a few gloriously silent minutes, holding hands and watching Kyon search for a towel, Hanyuu finally wrenched her attention back to the other girl. Her intentions weren't absolutely clear, but 'harm' didn't seem to be on that list.

"We have just shared a wonderful experience," Hanyuu stated. "We should use this opportunity to become friends."

The other girl slowly raised her face, her eyes tearing from Kyon to study her appraisingly before she released the held hands and gave a single, terse nod. "Wonderful," she agreed.
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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby Comartemis » Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:13 pm

Here's a scene from the Mahora Budokai in the Negima/Ranma crossover Akanema! Magistra Akane Magi! by Shadow Crystal Mage. (The last line is a reference to one of his other fics).

"Moving on to match no. 8! It's the Master of Musabetsu Kakutō Ryū– huh? Oh sorry, my mistake– practitioner and heir apparent to Musabetsu Kakutō Ryū, Saotome Ranma, versus Evangelin A.K. McDowell, of the Mahora Jr. High Go Club! Say what you will, folks, but challenger McDowell's some kinda ten-year-old doll! But what's her combat like?"

Off-stage, Mousse began to whimper. Cologne, finally managing to catch a clear glimpse of Evangeline, froze and fell off her staff, to the complete surprise of those around her. Akane, who'd moved up to where her family was to get a better view, blinked down at the matriarch with the rest of them.

"Great-grandmother?" Shampoo said. "Is well?"

Cologne twitched, eyes wide in unearthly terror. The Monster is here, the Monster is here, the Monster is here, the Monster is here… her mind kept repeating, locked on childhood memories of blood and ice and thousands of soulless puppets…

Ranma stood on the stage, relaxed but ready. He wasn't about to me suckered by the girl's appearance. He'd learned that lesson from Hinako-sensei, at least, though truth be told, the fact he was surrounded by water on all sides was a bit bigger cause of concern. The girl looked pretty distracted to him, definitely out of it, as if she had something on her mind. Foolish. Didn't she know that was a quick way to get your ass handed to you in a match?

He'd have to go easy on her. After all, she was just a little girl, he didn't want to hurt her too badly. She might have some kind of weird aikido moves or something to get through the prelims, but there was no way she had the strength or power for more, and given the format of those matches, she might have had help. Well, there was no one to help her now. Just him and her. He kinda felt sorry for her. She was just a speed-bump to him, really. He dearly wanted to get this over with so he could fight the other participants. Those girls…! And that KID…!-!-!-!-! Heck, even Akane had turned out to be a surprise. She'd added some Kung Fu to her moves. He felt his eagerness rising, and longed for this joke of a match to be over. It would be interesting to see what else Akane had learned…

"And now, the eighth match… FIGHT!"

Ranam opened his mouth to offer the girl a chance to surrender… then his eyes crossed, and he made a strangled gurgling sound.

Evangeline blinked, and looked down at the boy passed out on her fist. "Oh, sorry. I was lost in thought…"

There was a crash of a body falling heavily against wood, followed by the near simultaneous impact of many mouths against the ground.

"Holy shit!" said Nabiki.

"Holy shit!" said Genma.

"Holy shit!" said Ryouga.

"Holy shit!" said Soun.

"Holy shit!" said Shampoo.

"Holy shit!" said Ukyo.

"Holy shi– er, OH MY!" said Kasumi, embarrassed.

"Divine Excrement!" said Kuno

"Holy shit!" said Kodachi.

"Creepy little girl with thong…!" Mousse whimpered.

Cologne just rolled into a tighter fetal ball.

Akane laughed her head off, her whole body getting into it as she bent over, clutching her stomach, in more pain now than it had ever had during the fight with Takane. "Oh, kami…!" she breathed. "That was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Bwahahahahahaha!"

Setsuna looked up at her, blinking. "Um, Akane-san, you do realize your next opponent is Evangeline-san, right?"

Akane froze. Then, with absolutely no change to her expression, she curled up into a fetal ball and started shaking right beside Cologne…


Negi stared at Akane's reaction, frowning. "Now, really, she's not that ba–"

A memory of his own training with Evangeline crossed his mind. Soon, there was yet another fetal ball on the floor…


A universe away, Green Lantern Takamachi Nanoha felt a chill, and wondered why she felt an urge to curl into a fetal ball, shaking in terror. She only ever did that when…

The thought of Evangeline entered her mind.

She spent the next few minutes doing just that….
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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby Atlan » Fri Oct 01, 2010 3:25 am

Oh no, it's that creepy Aryan girl!" One of the boys yelled. Taking offense to that, Usagi picked up a rock and threw it at him.

She smiled when the rock hit its mark and the boy began bawling. "That's right; make way for the Homo Superior!" As the children fled, Usagi reached down and gingerly picked up the cat. She examined her and hummed. "An adhesive bandage, huh? Who would put that on a cat's head, it seems cruel."

"Their opinions of me don't matter." Usagi stared at the offender. "And if she says something about you again, I'm going to beat her up after school."

"I'd like to see you try, Dango-head!" The unnamed whore yelled at her. "My boyfriend is a serious gangster in Roppongi, you macho lard-ass!"

"Call him then, I'll kick his ass too." Usagi said, before looking over to Naru. "Then I'll become leader of his gang."

While touched that Usagi would stand up for her like that, Naru recognized when things got out of hand. "Usagi, don't do it, you already have enough trouble keeping up on your schoolwork, you can't just go run a gang. Besides, that'd make you a criminal."

from ... ailor_Moon
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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby bissek » Fri Oct 01, 2010 9:09 pm

Superwomen of EVA 2: The Ultimate Rush

"What are you planning?" Fuyutski asked.

Gendo just continued to smile knowingly.

"You know, I think you've come to like being enigmatic simply for the sake of it," Fuyutski commented crossly.

Unsurprisingly, Gendo didn't deign to offer a response to that.
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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby CRBWildcat » Tue Nov 30, 2010 1:32 pm

From Ruskbyte's Something Grim This Way Comes:

Ducking under a wandering Bludger and then corkscrewing round Adrian Pucey, Harry was slowly but steadily gaining ground on his elusive prey. After another minute of daring aerobatics, the Snitch was almost within reach. He stretched out with one hand, the other hand keeping a firm grip on the Ghost-Rider's shaft. He strained forward, leaning low over the broom, and could feel the flutter of the Snitch's wings against his fingertips. It was so close.

The unexpected impact of several small objects against his body almost knocked him off his broom. At first he thought it was a Bludger, but quickly realized that he was being assaulted by things too small and too soft. Also, Bludgers did not tend to stick around and repeatedly beat upon their victims. They were certainly not a bright yellow in colour and did not chitter frantically while they flocked around him.

"Bloody hell," bellowed Lee, jumping to his feet. "Potter's under attack by a flock of canaries!"

"Now dat's someting you don't see every day," commented Grim, arching an eyebrow.

"Where th' devil did they come from?" Hagrid wondered as they all stared incredulously at the sight of Harry being driven away from the Snitch by a dozen or so canaries. Even Mandy reacted in surprise to this unexpected assault, though her eyes quickly narrowed and glared across the pitch to where the homicidal birds had first appeared.

"That was near the Slytherin section of the stands," she noted icily.

"So?" asked Neville, cringing at her tone of voice.

"I don't believe in coincidence."

Mandy immediately grabbed Hagrid's oversized binoculars out of his massive hands and handed them to Hermione. The bushy-haired girl already knew what was being commanded of her and began using them to search through the stands.

"Er, what are you doing?" asked Ron.

"Looking for Malfoy," answered Mandy, allowing Hermione to continue searching without interruption.

"Found him," Hermione exclaimed, locking onto a spot more-or-less directly opposite from where they were sitting.

"Does he have his wand?" Mandy quickly asked.

"I can't see... no, wait... there it is," Hermione nodded before lowering the binoculars. She turned to Mandy and reported, "He's looking unbearably smug and the students around him seem to be congratulating him. He must have conjured the birds and sent them into Harry's flight path." She paused and grudgingly admitted, "Very impressive for a first-year. I don't think I could've done that."

"That's illegal! What should we do?" asked Ron.

"Leave it to me," said Mandy. She held out her hand and commanded, "Grim, scythe."

"Here," said Grim, handing it over without pause or thought.

Mandy calmly accepted the scythe, levelled it at the Slytherin portion of the stands and took aim.

Hermione looked on with mounting alarm and began to ask, "Um, Mandy? What are you-"

Words cannot sufficiently describe the blast of eldritch energy that streaked across the pitch. The only thing anyone would ever agree on was that it had been an impossibly luminescent shade of black. Something of a contradiction in terms, to be sure, but perfectly understandable when taking into account the source of the blast.



Once the glare of the explosion faded, pieces of debris began to rain down over the Quidditch pitch and stadium. Harry, having by now escaped his feathery attackers, looked on curiously. He then turned to where he had seen his friends cheering him on and graced Mandy with a thankful grin and a thumbs-up. He was the only one to react though, as all of the other players, Slytherin and Gryffindor alike, were frozen in shock. So was almost everybody else, with only a few notable exceptions.

"Full on friendship!" cheered Junior, crushing Ernie and Justin to him with his tentacles.

"AH-HAHAHA! CHAOS!" cackled Eris madly, utterly unconcerned by her fellow Slytherins' fates.

"I tink you just hideously maimed several dozen of yer schoolmates," observed Grim dispassionately.

"So what?" said Ron blithely. "They're only Slytherins."

"Oh, Mandy, you're going to be in so much trouble," moaned Hermione fretfully, but with a hint of resignation. "What are you going to do?"

"Finish watching the game," replied Mandy, returning the scythe to Grim.

"Fine by me," said Grim.

"Yeah," agreed Hagrid.

"Me too," nodded Ron.

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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby Spokavriel » Fri Dec 10, 2010 1:30 pm

Just a quick one for chuckles.Chapter 19 Warp Realities A good deal of the fic is almost unreadable due to typos but its still fun.

"Awww shut up!" Akane said fuming. Surely there must be a world out there where she could cook. She looked up to the heavens whose only reply was a rumble almost as if saying no.
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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby Uldihaa » Sat Dec 11, 2010 2:23 am

Here's a one-shot cracky fic, Surprise! Harry's got a Grandma! by Diresquirrel.

Even if thirteen-year-old Harry Potter was stuck back at 4 Privet Drive, life was good for the young wizard. He'd found out he had a godfather who loved him, he had a werewolf pseudo-uncle and good friends. He was invited to go to the Quidditch World Cup at the end of the summer with the Weasleys. He was even allowed to stay in an actual room, instead of that cupboard under the stairs. He leaned back on his poor creaky bed and folded his fingers together behind his head. Life was good.

And then the front door exploded.

"Hello! Peeetuuunnnniiiaaaa-Chaaaaan! Where's my baby girl?" a young sounding voice called from downstairs.

Harry, not quite sure what to make of things, grabbed his wand and started making his way down the stairs. He might not have been allowed to cast spells underage, but it was always good to be prepared. What he saw was a young appearing woman with shocking red hair he recognized from his mother's photos, bright red eyes and an outfit consisting of black denim pants, knee-high boots, white gloves and gems the size of his fists at her shoulders, pinning on a cloak.

He was also about five inches taller than her.

"Uh, hello," he said, making sure to keep the wand trained on her.

"Who are you?" the woman demanded, her hands on her hips.

"Uh, Harry Potter," he said clumsily. Her expression grew warmer upon hearing his explanation, and she immediately pulled him into a frighteningly tight hug.

"Hi, Harry, I'm-"

"Mother?" Petunia Dursley asked in horror. "How did you find us-er- what I mean is, how have you been?"

"Petunia, you've been a very naughty girl, running away like that!" the woman said, shaking her head in dismay. "Honestly, one daughter runs away, and the other goes off and gets married to a wizard of all people! Sorry Harry, but your father was always a bit of a prick. I don't know how many times I had to set him on fire."

"My dad?" Harry said numbly, not quite grasping the situation. The woman grinned and pulled him into another hug.

"Hi, Harry, I'm Lina Inverse and I'm your Grandma!"

All sound seemed to cease with that statement as Harry's mind contemplated what was really going on.

"My Grandmother?"

"Yup!" she said, slipping an arm around his shoulder. It was slightly uncomfortable for her, seeing as he was a bit taller than her, even if he was short for his age. "I know! Why don't I take my grandkids for the summer? That way we can all get to know each other!"

And that was when Vernon Dursley finally managed to get himself upright out of the chair to waddle into the foyer.

"You!" demanded the rotund red-faced man with an accusing finger. Harry was amazed. Vernon's tone was one that was usually reserved for Harry alone. Harry's Grandmother paused for a moment to glare at the man before turning on her daughter.

"You had to really go against my wishes, didn't you? You could have been dating anyone, but you went and married a tub of lard with no redeeming qualities at all," Lina accused, keeping a weary eye on the portly creature that considered itself 'normal'. Petunia flushed slightly and took a step backwards. Harry got the distinct impression that his aunt was edging towards the back door.

"Why you tiny, little, puny freak!" Vernon demanded. The moment those words left his mouth, Petunia's face drained of all color.

"I'm not short! I'm extra petite!"

What happened next would be something Harry would remember for the rest of his very long life as one of his happiest memories. Harry watched as Lina Inverse, his beloved grandmother, blew up his uncle and nearly the rest of the house.

"Wait, does this mean I'm not a half-blood?" Harry asked absently.
Far to the north in Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore looked up from his desk to the instruments that gauged the wards at 4 Privet Drive. It took him a moment to analyze the reason for their current activity, but when the information finally settled in, Dumbledore uttered a most accurate phrase.

"Oh, bloody packet of shite in Merlin's belt pouch," he intoned. "Well, I guess Borneo is nice this time of year."

On the other hand, the blood wards had never been stronger.

It goes about the way you'd expect something like this to go. :D
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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby Zwzn » Thu Feb 17, 2011 3:13 am
Naruto on the other hand - her gaze focussed on him and narrowed as she looked in detail. He was so BIG! Just look at the size of those chakra coils and paths! His tenketsu were dense points of brilliance. It was odd though, in that his chakra was not the usual blue or that odd red. It was all white.

Yes, size matters to a Hyuga. :lol:
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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby Comartemis » Sun Jun 12, 2011 7:24 pm

Calling all Touhou fans! A Wizard Is You!

“Hi?” Cirno’s head peeks around the doorframe. “Can I come in?”

You shrug, and the fairy creeps in. You feel her sharp blue eyes on your back as you hold the dagger lightly, chanting soft words of magic at it. You manage to focus for a good twenty minutes on the task, until the itch of Cirno’s gaze becomes too much to stand.

“Why are you staring!?” you exclaim, glaring over your shoulder at the fairy.

“... just lookin.”

You give Cirno a frank appraisal. “You’re expecting a monkey.”

“Monkeys,” Cirno corrects you, stressing the plural. “But you don’t even have a colander for it. You’re just talking dirty to a knife.” She crosses her arms and scowls at you, clearly displeased with this lapse in your execution of Wizard Stuff.

“I’m trying to Identify this thing. I think-”

Cirno daintily plucks the blade from your hand, scrutinizing the weapon through an exaggerated squint. “Yep. That’s a knife.”

“I see I’ve been a bad influence,” you mutter, tugging the dagger away from her. “I’m casting a spell to see what enchantments this weapon might conceal.”

“It’s magical?” Cirno chuffs at the unassuming blade.

“Pretty sure it is,” you reply. “It seems to have gotten bigger, and every time I think to draw, it fairly leaps into my hand.”

“But there’s no squiggly things on it,” Cirno says doubtfully.

“You mean runes?”

“NO! Squiggly. Things,” Cirno enunciates slowly. “There should be a squiggly line between the edge of the knife and the center. And it should have symbols on it. And it should glow!”

“Cirno, I kind of have to-”

“And it has to have a cool name like Heavenly-Swamp-Spear or Grass-Cutting-Sword or-”

“Aaaaaaaah ha ha ha what,” you grate. Your Tongues spell flawless translation of ‘Kusanagi’ leaves you less then impressed. “You think ‘lawnmower’ is a cool name?”

“Oh yeah, smart guy? Think you can do better!?”

“Ha!” you say confidently. “Try Gram!”

“Gram!?” Cirno says, her face scrunching up. “A gram of what?”

Naturally, the Tongues spell doesn’t work both ways.

“It means ‘wrath’.”

Cirno scowls, unimpressed. You feel irritated despite yourself – there’s no way your world is going to be one-upped by people who name their mythical weapons lawnmower.

“Frost Brand!”

“Branding irons are HOT. Any idiot knows that!”

“How about Excalibur?”

“Sounds like a coughing horse!”




“Oh no, he might make it rain!”


“That’s the sound a fat guy makes in an outhou-”

“AH!” you exclaim, grabbing your head in horror. “You wouldn’t know an awe-inspiring name if it bit you in the ass!”

“Says a guy who talks to knives better then he talks to girls!”
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Re: The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

Postby Comartemis » Mon Jun 13, 2011 2:38 pm

This may be quite possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. A Dalek talking down to an Incubator.

Chapter 4: The Knight in Shining Armor

There was a flash of steel, a swish of white fabric as it swished through the air.

A familiar died, bringing the number up to ten.

The blunette discarded her costume, returning to her previous attire. She rested, her hands on her knees. After a few moments, she took a Grief Seed out of her pocket and applied it to her Soul Gem, the eldritch device forming on the palm of her hand.

Sec zoomed in on her crystalized soul. It was surprisingly dark, and the seed sucked up the corruption like a sponge, leaving it sparkling again.
Homura had been right about the girl’s lack of skill; Sec had done some research and had come to the conclusion that the Puella Magi’s form was horrendous.

Truth to be told, Sec couldn’t help but feel slightly impressed by Sayaka’s stubborn selfishness. To serve an unrewarding cause was something he was quite familiar with.

The Emperor had granted the Cult of Skaro almost unlimited authority, and the ability to imagine stratagems that no Dalek could.
This had, however, come at a price; even amongst their own species, sec and his comrades were loathed.

In a way, Sec could understand that. It was only natural; the Dalek’s hatred of anything different was legendary, and those of the Cult were barely Daleks.

Sec had no illusion about what his eventual fate would have been, had they been victorious in their ultimate goal.

Still, he served, somehow managing to keep himself together along the way. Others weren’t so lucky. The suspicion, the nagging feeling that they might not be Daleks had been too much for some of them.

They had broken down, asking to be killed. The had pleaded, begged to be put down, screaming in terror and grief and pain…

It was at this point that Sec’s survival instincts kicked in, and prodded at him to think of something else. Like what he was supposed to be doing.
He checked the chronometer, and saw that he had become lost in thought for 15 Rels. Sayaka had started to move from her previous position, searching for more familiars, the Incubator trailing behind her.

Sec silently swore, and glided forwards, making sure to keep his investment in sight. He needed to maintain discipline, such a distraction would have been fatal to him had he still been with his previous commander, the Dalek Inquisitor General.

In Sec’s opinion, the Oncoming Storm had nothing on the Dalek Inquisitor General. That Sec had managed to survive for five successive missions under his command had been considered impressive enough to warrant him a promotion to Dalek Supreme.

Usually, those of such a rank had been bred for the position, although the Council of Supremes had decided to make an exception, the third in the records.

Had he been able to feel such a thing at that time, he would have been very relieved at the promotion. He’d rather face a Battle-planet full of Sontarans and Time Lords than be around the Dalek Inquisitor General a moment longer. According to intel, the Inquisitor had been killed by The Doctor.

Sec had every reason to doubt that. The Inquisitor never stayed dead.

He decided he’d better think about something else, lest he summon the terrifying Dalek here.

Like how the Incubator could be in two places at once.

The white creature stared at him, white tail swishing behind it, its form had been clearly been designed to appeal to young human females.

It failed to extract any emotion out of Sec, besides loathing.

“IN-CU-BA-TOR.” Sec stated, focusing more of his attention on the thing.

“So you know my designation.” The creature spoke, mouth unmoving. “I must ask you where you obtained it, that information is considered classified for those outside the Confederation.”


“Oh well, I’ll find out anyways.” The creature spoke neutrally. There was a faux eager tone to its voice, but it was clearly just the way it spoke, nothing more.

Sec had heard Cybermen sound more emotive.

The creature tilted its head. “You are clearly not a member of the Confederation, and my superiors cannot identify your species in our records. Yet you are clearly from an elder race.” It tilted its head the other way. “What brings you to this planet?”

Sec was confident that, had the creature know who -and, most importantly, what- it was talking to was; those words would have been very different.

For starters, there would have been plenty of groveling.

“THO-SE REA-SONS ARE PER-SON-AL.” He stated dismissively.

“I must inform you that landings not authorized by the Council of the Coalition are a violation of the Energetic Resources Treaty.” The Incubator continued talking, not even bothering to pause. “I’m asking you to state your purpose here, so that we may help you. Energy collection is very delicate, and our operation is important to the fate of the universe.” The white creature padded towards him. “It is in the best interest of creation itself to make your stay as quickly as possible.”

It took every Rel of training that Dalek Sec had to keep himself from shooting the thing. It was very annoying.

However, he did have one question for the creature.


No one ever said that Sec didn’t like taunting his victims.

“I detected that your systems would interfere with my body’s databases. I required a hardened model to confront you.”

Had Sec been human, he would have rolled his eyes.

“Still, I must insist that you leave immediately, I’m sure we can arrange for some assis-“


The white creature recoiled.

“I don’t understand. Our operation is done in the best interest of the universe itself, we work to relieve entropy and ensure the future of everything.”

“YOU DO NOT FO-OL ME! HOW CAN ONE WO-RLD KE-EP A-WAY THE DE-STRU-CTION OF RE-A-LI-TY IT-SELF?!” He glared at the creamy white pest in his field of view, observing Sayaka only through the use of sensors. “AT BEST, YOU CAN ONLY KEEP A POR-TION A-LIVE FOR YOUR-SELVES!”

“True. However, I must inform you that portion has been calculated to be able to house all Coalition members as well as all the younger races in our databases.” It flicked its tail. “I know there are other undiscovered species in the universe, but sadly we cannot house them all. However, our methods will at least ensue that a portion of reality survives to populate the next universe.”

“BY U-SING THIS PLA-NET AS A RE-AC-TOR? AND HU-MANS AS FU-EL?” Sec replied, his voice dripping in a generous amount of hate.

“You are correct. This is the most efficient energy source we have knowledge of. Other sources have been demonstrated to be exponentially less efficient than our current practice.”

Dalek Sec really wanted to tell it how loathsome its methods were, regardless of efficiency. He really wanted to hate the white, abnormal thing with all the hate a Dalek could feel.

Except he couldn’t.

He knew that he and any other Dalek would have applied the same solution to the problem.

When he had become a hybrid in that fatefull experiment, he had wanted to reform the Daleks, to truly turn his species to the side of good. But now, now that he didn’t have humanity’s set of morals and values in his mind, he remembered something:

Daleks had no concept of good and evil.

So, no matter how much he wanted, how much he wanted the Incubator and his kind to be evil, he was still a Dalek, and as a Dalek, he could see nothing wrong with the incubators plan.

It was efficient, and Daleks loved efficiency.

But it was wrong, Sec was sure of this.

But how was it wrong? In what sense? It had a noble goal, it seemed to work and the price looked so small compare to what it intende-


What was the price to pay? The exploitation of mankind?

And thus Dalek Sec had his Eureka moment.

The exploitation of another species, to disguise your motives as something else, to withhold information, to perform such dishonesty…

Yes, he could hate that.


“They never asked.” The Incubator interrupted.

“AND THEY DO NOT KNOW THEY SHO-ULD HAVE A-SKED!” Sec continued unabated. His blood was up.

“I HAVE SE-EN THIS WORLD’S EN-TER-TAIN-MENT; I HAVE DONE RE-SEARCH INTO ITS CUL-TURE. YOU HAVE MA-NI-PU-LA-TED ALL FA-CETS OF HU-MANITY TO CON-FORM TO YOUR GO-ALS, TO TAKE YOUR WO-RDS AT FACE VA-LUE! SO YOU MIGHT NE-VER HAVE TO LIE.” Sec was positively seething now. He was absently aware that Sayaka was moving through the streets, still within sensor range.

“Such techniques were necessary for the efficiency of the plan. I don’t understand, you are an advanced species, yet you cling to such primitive concepts like emotion like a younger race.” The Incubator stared at him intently. “It’s confusing, higher levels of technology can only be obtained by dedicating the mind to logic. How can you be so advanced?”

“BE-CAUSE WE WAN-TED TO BE!” Sec proclaimed proudly. “LOOK AT MY FORM, WHAT DO YOU SEE?”

The white creature observed him for a moment. “It is inefficient.” It observed. “There surely must be a more practical shape for you.”


“Surely such a form must have caused problems.”




The Incubator looked supremely confused.

“You?” It asked.


“And what word is that?”

Sec aimed the gunstick, setting it to output thermal energy. There was a safety, but no Dalek to his knowledge had ever used it.


There was a brilliant flash of heat as the white body was vaporized. Whatever energy went into its making was made unrecoverable.

Satisfied, Sec lifted off from the roof he had been on, and returned to keeping an eye out for Sayaka.

It was now that he wondered how we could reconcile his plan with the new Dalek morality.

From A Hero, a Dr Who/Madoka Magica crossover.
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