The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

[Scooter]

From the latest chapter of the Addventure No Tendo: Channel Surfing(written by Kestral):

"Thrusters at station-keeping," said the new Captain of the Hood as he stood up from his chair.

Well, actually, floated up was more the case. The Hood, the British flagship of their new Space Patrol Service (tentative title - they were still hashing it out now that it was all public) had lost artificial gravity and no one was quite sure how to fix it. Except maybe the dog, but everyone was afraid of how it would look on the telly to go consulting the dog on technical matters.

"Science department is ready to launch probe," said the comm officer.

"Launch when ready," said the Captain.

"Probe launch, aye," said the comm officer.

"What exactly is the probe?" asked the ship's doctor.

"Apparently there's an electromagnetic sort of 'tube' between Io and Jupiter," said the Captain. "The science boys think that particles might have become trapped by such means. Didn't think it would be an interest of yours, Doctor Jones."

"It's not," admitted Doctor Jones, nodding towards one of the displays. "I'm trying to get a handle on all this since it looks like we'll be in space regularly."

"Ah, much like the rest of us," said Captain Tennant. "Well, this shouldn't be too bad. Purely scientific research."

"Except that we are a rather heavily armed warship, created by taking an old space freighter of the caniforms and cannibalizing an old British warship plus what we could put together in a couple of weeks," pointed out Doctor Martha Jones. "We've still got pieces of ship where we don't know what the mechanism was mean to do."

"We could always ask the dog," pointed out Captain Tennant.

"I have a little difficulty in asking a dog, even a robot dog, even a robot alien dog, about how to work something in MY sickbay," complained Doctor Jones.

"He might not know anyway," said the comm officer. "We've got scavenged tech aboard from that Silver Millenium stuff."

"Well, that's right out then," said Doctor Jones. "Can you picture me twirling around, wearing some cheerleader outfit?"

Brief silence.

"Oh, you lot," grumbled Doctor Jones.

[Zwzn]

http://forum.spacebattles.com/showthrea ... ost3917864

Directors Office Same time

“No Director, I have spoken to many in the Exiles community, and none were aware of this new conspiracy. It is not surprising really, we are all quite content living within the Commonwealth's borders. These Skrull have to have settled somewhere outside the Commonwealth, and since sworn allegiance to someone else.”

The Director asked the rooms other occupant in a calm unaccusing tone, “and what is your independent assessment of the situation?”

“I agree with Astivus. None of the Skrulls who have settled within the Commonwealth would be willing to help provoke a conflict that might destroy it. If that were to happen they would have nowhere else to take refuge; at least no where they wouldn't be treated as second-class citizens, or worse.”

Astivus jokingly replied, “Well of course, these humans are so insidious it's shocking. I mean who would have imagined how corrupted one would be by simply living amongst a race that treats everyone as an equal regardless of species. I mean look at me here I stand in the presence of a worthless Kree half-breed, and I'm not even nauseous.” That last was spoken with a cocky but friendly smile.

His long time friend picked-up the thread there and added, “Indeed, conquering the galaxy with tolerance.”

“And Chocolate, don't forget that,” the Skrull added.

“Oh yes thank you, tolerance and chocolate. Such a novel, yet surprisingly effective approach.”

“I wish my people had thought of it first.”

[CRBWildcat]

From X to the Zoltan's Azumanga Daioh in Space: Special Edition:

A tiny figure walked swiftly through a vast, dark room, her stride business-like and angry. She moved to a large stone chair, slapped a few articles down on a table next to it, sat down, cleared her throat, and…

“FIRST SUPPLICANT!”

The lights rose on the Empress’s throne-room. Why did the chief executive of an interstellar Empire need something as primitive and pretentious as a throne room? While there was still quite a dispute over its existence, even the throne-room’s most ardent detractors had to admit that it was a sight to behold.

Her yell echoed off of the vaulted crystal ceiling to slap against the shining blue stone floor. A wide red carpet led from towering double doors across the room’s expanse and up two short flights of steps to the throne’s base. 6 meter tall statues stood on either side of the entrance- one was the first Emperor, whose name was lost to history, and the other was Emperor Tanizaki I the Conqueror. Between them, they managed an odd sort of “Good Cop/Bad Cop” effect.

And so the first supplicant entered. It was, of all things, an alien; smallish, gray skinned, with a dangerous, wiry build. As it approached and knelt at the base of the steps, the quartet of Imperial Guardsmen lining the way up gripped their spears.

“I am Kabarkh, clan Khim’bar,” he said, “I implore you…”

The Empress tuned him out as he told his sob story about how his homeworld had been poisoned by a crashing starship and his people had to scratch out a living on what little land wasn’t covered with this evil grass or something. When he was done, Empress Yukari gave the Magic 8-ball that was her brain a shake and answered.

“Call the Minister of Sciences,” she said to an assistant. “Hook this guy up.”

The gray alien bowed oddly, spreading his hands. “I thank y—“

“NEXT SUPPLICANT!”

He was led away and Darth Nochichi drifted forth in his place. “Good day, my Empress,” he greeted.

“Yo,” she replied, bored. “Something wrong?”

“That wasn’t a Noghri, was it?”

“Could’a been. Why?”

“Oh, no reason.” Nochichi started rattling a little in the air, his tone growing increasingly violent. “I’ve just been manipulating their people for decades trying to make them think their world was incurable…”

“Whoa, whoa, are you upset or something?”

“I’m not upset at all,” he replied easily, then turned bright red, trembling even harder. “It was just that the Noghri were the perfect assassins and spies and you took away the only hold I had on them…!” By this time he seemed to be making a sound like a shaking can of soda and the Guardsmen were all but cowering from him.

“Are you, uh, sure you’re not upset?”

“Of course not. The Empress knows best.”

“Damn right. So what are you here for?”

[Neko-]

From June "KaraOhki" Geraci - Cinders

The door opened, and a small figure in a gown and mask entered. Ranma tried hard not to laugh, but couldn’t suppress a chuckle.

"Do I look that silly to you, Ranma?"

"Why didn’t they give you a gown that wouldn’t drag on the floor?"

Cologne smiled, though Ranma couldn’t see it through the mask. "They gave me the smallest one they had. I nearly tripped over it."

[Tuisto]

A quote from an interlude between chapter 11 and chapter 12 of Naruto Genkyouien that can be found over at TFF. It explains so much about the Uchiha clan. Truly.

Two pairs of eyes stared at each other, their respective tomoe swirling in reverse synchronicity. Itachi did not take his eyes off the Doctor S, as if someone staring at her like a creep would somehow reveal the fallacy.

“They’re real, Itachi-kun.” Setsuna murmured with her usual bored tone, muffled under her overly large clothes. “You are looking at the original Sharingan.”

For once, Itachi allowed his curiosity to take over him.

“Is this the reason you have lived for so long? Does the Sharingan…?”

“HA!” Setsuna barked. “An eye that grants you immortality? How ridiculous is that? What’s next: the Sharingan can control Nine-Tailed Kitsune?”

“Mou…” Tobi pouted. “You don’t have to rub it on my face like that…”

Yes, Setsuna had already shared that little tidbit with him.

“No, Itachi-kun. If you want eternal youth, you’ll have to look for it on your own.”

“Hnn.” Itachi dismissed the words with the trademark Uchiha ‘hnn’.

“Very well, shall I continue?” Setsuna declared, spreading her arms wide under her robes.

“A few months after using the Sharingan Jutsu, I gave birth to a daughter, whom I named Kizuna. She never developed a Sharingan of her own, but I knew she carried the genetic code for the eye. I decided to find her a husband; I wanted to see if her children would carry the Sharingan.”

“Of course, I would not cede my daughter to just any man. I picked the young heir of an upstart Shinobi clan. I chose them precisely because they were eager and ambitious, but there was another, even more important reason.”

“Kizuna, you see…she was my splitting image.”

Itachi’s eyes widened a bit, as he understood exactly what Setsuna meant by that. Kisame shot uneasy glances at the two, unsettled by the fact that they seemed to understand each other in a way he still could not figure out, beyond the fact that they shared the same eyes.

“It would be easy for your daughter to seduce that man…if he was an Uchiha.”

“YES!” Setsuna roared triumphantly. “Precisely, Itachi-kun! Your ancestor fell head over heels for my daughter!”

Itachi nodded. “It is the True Uchiha Way.”

“Okay, and just what is that supposed to mean?” Kisame questioned.

“IT MEANS EXACTLY THAT!” The Doctor exclaimed, her red pupils glowing with glee. “THE UCHIHA CLAN WAS A CLAN OF PROUD, SHAMELESS PEDOS!”

“Aaaah…” Kisame let his right fist rest on his open left palm. “That does explain every-wait, WHAT?”

“It is the True Uchiha Way.” Itachi repeated.

Kisame only gaped.

“A clan ruled by men with an undying passion for short girls and flat chests…they were PERFECT.” Setsuna was grinning as she spoke. “After generations of careful selection and inbreeding, they had ensured that every single female within their ranks was a delicious loli.”

“Wait…” Kisame almost pleaded.

“’At my behest, Kizuna gave birth to as many children as possible. One after the other, they grew and, at some point during their ninja training, awakened their Bloodline Limit. The elders of the clan did not fail to seize this new, ‘mysterious’ power, and did not hesitate to mate these gifted children with as many males and females within the clan as possible, spreading the Sharingan genes throughout the clan.”

“With the power of those eyes, the Uchiha Clan became mighty and glorious! Even the strongest Shinobi, Senju Hashirama, preferred to make peace with the Uchiha Clan rather than have them as his enemies! They were my greatest success! A clan of happy lolis and lolicons, brought together and given power with the blessing of my blood!”

“You have got to be kidding me.” Kisame muttered, wearing a face of disgust.

A sob.

The sharkman’s face looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

“It was…” Sob. “…it was so beautiful…”

Kisame’s face lost all trace of emotion.

“Dear Lord, Itachi’s crying.”

“Yes, it was beautiful.” Setsuna agreed. “It was peaceful. It was perfect. But you know what happened.”

“The Uchiha Clan settled down in Konoha. Immediately, they began to work on seizing as much control over village matters as possible. When Uchiha Madara’s own ambition led him to betray Konoha and be defeated by the First Hokage, the clan found itself in a desperate need to regain the respect and trust of the rest of the village.”

“It was a tie…” Tobi mumbled to himself.

“Swallowing their pride, they began to forging alliances and offer favors to the other clans. Of course, there was one particular clan the Uchihas were especially wary of.”

Setsuna’s eyes glowed with unbridled fury.

“The Hyuuga Clan…the disgraceful brood of that accursed woman…”

“Ugh…”

Kisame raised an eyebrow at this. The teary eyes had disappeared, and Itachi now looked positively sick. He had even covered his mouth with his right hand.

“I can never forget…” He hissed. “…those women…those disgusting things dangling down their chests…”

Kisame twitched. He was smart enough to figure that one out. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“Yes, Itachi-kun. Your fellow Uchiha were corrupted by mingling with the Hyuuga and the other people of Konoha. They began to lust after big breasts.”

Itachi retched. “Damn…them…”

“Oh Kami, you’re serious.” Kisame muttered dejectedly.

Even Tobi seemed unusually stiff; silently lamenting the degradation of his once pure clan.

“However, the loli gene was already firmly imprinted within the clan. For that reason, they resorted to the most ruin of practices.”

“Don’t say it!” Itachi growled, his bloodshot eyes begging Setsuna to stop revealing the dark tale of his family.

“Yes, I know. Human experimentation.” Setsuna’s face looked almost compassionate. “Even your mother was tainted, wasn’t she?”

“Uuuuuhh…” Itachi covered his face with his hand, to hide the rictus of disgust and shame that possessed him.

“They…they…”

“Itachi…” Kisame was actually worried. His partner had shown more emotion in the last few minutes than in all the years he had known him.

A tear gently trailed down the young Uchiha’s right cheek.

“…they gave her BIG BOOBS!” With that single lament, Itachi fell down on his knees and began to cry inconsolably.

“Oh God.” Kisame facepalmed.

[Kakanma]

Got a couple of good ones here...

First up from chapter 63 of The Open Door: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4320933/64/The_Open_Door

Then the unseen woodwinds and percussion instruments picked up, beginning a bombastic march that oozed imperialism and grandeur and their host arrived, and Asmodeus had to admit that he would have applauded the exquisite showmanship of their host if such an act were of so little dignity as to be beneath him.

He would quietly try and steal the music though; it made for a grand entry.

Their host, Lars, was clearly quite pissed, the malevolence quite literally radiating off of him as a halo of light that did not have any named colours as part of its spectrum. His once near featureless brass mask had become dark and corroded, nearly black, and twisted into a fearsome death’s head. A long dark jacket made out of some indefinable, half decayed substance flowed behind him on an unfelt wind like a great cloak or the wings of some shadowy figure, tarnished piping of crimson and gold accentuating the grandeur while also simultaneously increasing his horribleness.

And then there were the little touches, like the breathing. He did not actually need to breathe, not even technically to talk, but accompanying him was a slow, rhythmic hiss and rattle of breathing, asynchronous with anything else he did. It was sound most mortals would find highly disturbing, and Asmodeus had to admit that staring at the divine essences kept on the creature’s wrist the impact was brought to him all little as well, although since he had an avatar and wasn’t there physically, it was a little less scary.

A truly EPIC megacross and sequel to Thousand Shinji.

Next up from chapter 3 part 1 of The Lost Line:http://forum.spacebattles.com/showthread.php?t=142446&page=3

"My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi," he responded reaching out in turn, hands clasped for a moment on the others wrist and a moment where he assumed their eyes met, "Jedi General of the Open Circle Armada."

The diminutive Jedi seemed to chuckle at that comment, "Revan, now for your titles."

With a groan and a glare between the two newcomers, Revan began.

"If I must," he sighed, "I'm Crusader General, Lord Darth Revan."

A moment as Obi-Wan blinked trying to figure out if what he heard was correct.

"Jedi Master, Sith Lord, Supreme Commander of the Allied Fleet, Warmaster of the Mandalorian Forces, Champion of the Republic, and well..."

He glanced at the smirking man in uniform beside them, "And what else did I miss."

An awesome cross between SW: Knights of the old republic and SW: Clone wars.

[Neko-]

Fell back on re-reading a bit of Black Dragon's Millennium:

Blam! "AAUGH!"

Whatever Hikoshi was going to say about Rayden's propriety in judging the police was forgotten as they suddenly focused their attention on Snake, who had, by the looks of things, suddenly shot someone on the other side of the street in the leg.

Rayden's eyes narrowed. "I thought you could not detect the undead. Why did you fire upon this stranger, then?"

Snake blinked, turning to regard the Russian gunman. "Oh, no, don't worry, I know that guy. He's not a stranger."

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Screamed Mamoru Chiba as he writhed on the ground clutching his leg in pain.

"Oh, don't be such a crybaby! It was only a lousy nine millimeter slug!" The American snorted as he holstered his pistol and then started walking again. "The guy took a freaking Desert Eagle round before; a nine barely qualifies as a bee sting next to that."

"Agreed," Rayden admitted, having himself suffered wounds from both calibers. "However, your assault upon him seems completely arbitrary and quite immoral."

"Says the guy who seems to be hunting down a young woman whose only goal is to escape with her life," Snake countered smugly.

BD really has it in for Chiba

[bissek]

Tsunade was staring at her half filled cup and frowning.

“Is something wrong?” Mina asked.

“This punch… it tastes funny.”

Worriedly Mina took the ladle and filled a cup and tasted. “I think it tastes fine, it’s not like it’s spiked or anything.”

“That’s the problem,” Tsunade realized.

“What?”

“It’s not spiked.” She produced a silver flask and tried to fix it.

From A Few Angry Words

[Kakanma]

Kenta remembered Kanji yelling. “I’m gonna tear your store apart so fast you won’t have time to file for insurance!”

That didn’t scare the boy though. It was what happened next. Because when it seemed like Kanji was about to go through with his threat, he looked to his right and froze, his sharp features stilled in a nervous grimace. Kenta thought that maybe a cop had come in, but as he looked to where Kanji was gawking at, his face fell as well, for sitting next to the terror of Inaba was none other than Souji Seta, staring rather disapprovingly at the boy next to him.

Kanji Tatsumi, the guy who had beaten up more people in his middle school years than most people would in a lifetime, who was rumored to have killed a grizzly with his bare hands, who Kenta had once seen scare off a police officer with a scathing remark (though the guy did look a bit wimpy…), was silenced, halted, intimidated with but a single glance from Nanako’s “big bro”. If Kanji was the resident badass, then what the hell did that make Souji? What was he capable of?

A nice view of the MC of Persona 4 from the outside... The sword scene is truly a crowning moment of intimidation.

[bissek]

“Hey, losers! What’s up?” Kiba greeted in his usual boisterous tone.

“Not much” Naruto replied. “Just taking missions, making cash”

“Hah! I bet you haven’t gotten near as many as we have! In fact, Kurenai-sensei said we could be getting a C-ranker next week!”

Next to Naruto, Sasuke was about to speak up about how they were about to get a C-rank mission themselves, but then thought better of it. Naruto was so much better at irking people.

“Your epic fail has been noted”

Yep. Something like that.

“Wha… What? What’s that supposed to mean? I didn’t fail at anything” Kiba stammered, a very ‘WTF?’ expression on his face.

“Because, you failed so epically, you didn’t even know it” Naruto explained, using a very emphasizing tone. “Am I wrong Shino?”

“Indeed” the Aburame replied, clear out of the blue, “In fact, it possessed so much epicness, that it was not epic. It was only… sort of epic”

Now Kiba was definitely questioning their sanity.

“Seriously, are you two doing PCP together or something?”

“That’s what she said” Shino retorted, in a tone that reminded Sasuke and Sakura of Naruto.

“Wait… What does that even mean?”

“YOUR MOM!” Naruto shot in, confusing Kiba even more.

Kakashi, Sasuke, Sakura and Kurenai just decided to ignore the randomness and just chalk it up to them being weird. Hinata on the other hand…

‘Oh, so they meant… oh Ewwww, That’s just weird. Wait… I understood them… Yep. I’m going crazy too’

Interestingly, she didn’t see anything bad about that.

“But to answer your question Kiba, we’re here to get a C-rank mission ourselves. That is why you fail so epically”

“What? Oh… so what did the other stuff mean…?”

“Because your fail rating exceeded the fifth level of coffee grounds, it was forced to reach the second stage of Stapler, as well as passing the fourth pencil extremity. Therefore, due to the eight squared law of the Bobby Philips Continuum, Version 11.5, the rating of epicness was reset, causing your fail rating to only reach the 65.243pi percent level, despite being extremely epic to begin with” Naruto said, even pulling a large and detailed graph/chart from seemingly now-where to illustrate his point.

Now almost everyone was looking at him like he had grown a second head that was somehow made of a duck, a microwave, and the Nidaime Hokage. The exceptions being of course Shino, who was only nodding in affirmation, and Hinata, who was actually starting to understand all this.

‘Oh yeah. I’m definitely going crazy’

“So… Am I supposed to understand what the hell that meant?” Kiba spoke in that extremely weirded out tone.

“Of course” Naruto said in a very creepy tone that Sasuke recognized from earlier, “If you join us”

“Huh…?”

“Join us Kiba… Join the dark side…” Naruto continued in that same extremely creepy tone as he reached into his coat, “we have cookies”

Kiba looked at the cookie that was in Naruto’s hand, his sanity currently being beaten upon by a multitude of baseball bats.

“AHHHHHH!!!” obviously fearing for what was left of his sanity, Kiba screamed and made a run for the exit, falling down the stairs in the process.

“Wimp” Sasuke said simply, feeling very smug at being able to resist Naruto’s insanity.

From Roku Naruto

[APN]

From: Of Witch Hunters and Goddesses By LokiLeysmith. Chapter 4


First two scenes are the build up to get the effect for scenes 3&4.

“Can I see your bike now?” Skuld asked eagerly.

“Of course you can dear, if our guest doesn’t mind.” Belldandy said as she looked over at Robin.

“Not at all, go right ahead.” Skuld grinned and ran out of the room.

“Just don’t break it brat!” Urd called after her. Skuld blew a raspberry before she went out the door.

Meanwhile Skuld was examining Robin’s Vespa with a critical eye. “Hmm, sleek but elegant design. Not much in the speed department but it looks comfortable.” She spent a few minutes fussing over it before standing back and rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “Not bad, but not great either.” She mused before a smile spread across her face as she produced several tools from underneath her blouse. “Still lots of room for improvement I always say.” Skuld grinned and set to work.

“Thank you, I’d enjoy that very much. I’m sorry that I can’t stay.” Robin replied as she handed Belldandy her own home number, address, and email, along with a business card for Master’s restaurant Harry’s. “It’s where my friends and I like to go after work.” She explained.

“We’ll try to go up there one day.” Belldandy said. Robin smiled and thanked her hosts again for their hospitality as she gathered her belongings and headed for her Vespa. She noticed that the engine sounded a bit different as she started it, but otherwise it felt the same. Robin shrugged and waved to her hosts before speeding off.

As the family headed inside, Skuld found her path blocked by Urd. “What did you do to her bike brat?” She growled.

“Nothing!” Skuld shot back.

“Are you sure?” Urd prompted.

Skuld sighed. “Oh all right I just tweaked it a bit, nothing much.”

A look of worry flashed across Belldandy’s face. “Oh dear, I hope nothing happens to her on the way home.”

“I hope so too.” Keiichi commented as he put a reassuring arm around her shoulders.

“Hey! Not so close!” Skuld shouted as she got in between them and tried to separate them. They laughed a bit as Belldandy took Skuld’s hand before going inside.


Robin was making good progress going down the highway towards home. The engine seemed to be running a bit more smoothly and the brakes worked a lot better. The only odd thing was there was a red toggle switch on the handlebar that she was pretty sure wasn’t there before. So, not knowing any better, she pressed it.

Putputputputputputputputputputput…

VRRROOOOSSSHHH!

Several commuters would call into the local radio stations that day to talk about the truly bizarre sight of an oddly dressed young woman who was apparently trying to set a new land speed record on a Vespa of all things. All they could say for sure was there was a loud engine noise accompanied by screaming as the woman went blasting by them. The reports were dismissed as hyperbole and were soon relegated to the status of urban myth.

“Just stay there and wait until Robin comes home! I’m sure she’ll have a few things to say.” Miho stated. Dojima just stared at her feet. She’d tried to defend her actions but Miho would have none of it. Just then they heard a scuffling sound outside the door.

“That’s probably her now. Maybe if you’re nice she won’t barbecue you.” Miho growled as she went over to the door and opened it. Both she and Yurika blinked in surprise at the sight of their bedraggled friend standing in the doorway. Robin for her part just stood there covered in dirt, leaves, and other things, her eyes wide and her mouth open.

“Robin?” Miho and Yurika asked.

“Miho. Yurika.” Robin replied, sounding stunned.

“Are you okay?” Miho asked.

“I’m okay.” Robin replied.

“I think we’d better draw you a bath now.” Miho commented, taking Robin’s arm. She offered no resistance.

“I think I’m going to take a bath now.” Robin commented in a mechanical voice as she allowed herself to be taken to the bathroom.

“Use the Force Luke.” Yurika commented as they passed by. Miho gave her a swat in the head as she passed by on the way to the bathroom. Yurika rubbed the back of her head as she followed.

Lesson learned here: Never trust Skuld to not mod your personal motorized vehicle.

[nuriko]

From Reunion:

“The Gnomes of Zurich are great bankers,” Harry replied.

“Gnomes instead of goblins?” Susan mused.

“They aren't really gnomes Susan,” Hermione said, “they're . . .”

"Actually, they are," Harry interrupted, "Illuminati gnomes, dedicated to world domination. They aren't so good at world domination, but they're wonderful bankers . . . oh, and they like to steal underpants."

“What?”

"They seem to think that if they steal enough underpants then they'll get profit and world domination," Harry said with a shrug, "no clue how that's supposed to work, has something to do with a renegade gnome called Happosai, but they got me a killer interest rate."

[Comartemis]

Somewhere beneath the shining sun, somewhere in the green and fertile lands the world, somewhere in the city/state of Sailoon, somewhere on the grounds of the Happy Traveler's Mega-Inn and Conference Center, something exploded.

It was a very impressive explosion. There was just the right amount of BOOM, just the right amount of fire and bright light. It had a pleasant deafening quality to it, and there was plenty of smoking shrapnel tossed about dramatically. The judges were quite impressed, and scored it a 4.3, 4.4, 4.7, and 3.0. (The Atlass City judges always scored low.)

The competition was down to four finalists, out of the two hundred sorcerers who were attending MagiCon 5. Whoever won this final round of 'Freestyle Destructive Magic' would take home the coveted Magus Statue, a cash prize, and get the envy of every other two-bit magician, sorcerer warlord and practitioner of the arcane arts at the convention. Truly, a great feat indeed.

The second competitor stood up to the platform, behind the white line as the innkeeper's servants nervously replaced the smoking remains of the target with a fresh, whole one. Then they ran for their very lives, as the sorcerer charged up a sickly green light around his body, and unleashed a bolt of power that tore through the air like a dagger of sheer lightning...

When everybody could see after the explosion, there was a red and white melted puddle where the target was. Good scores all around, 4.8's and 4.7's.

The third competitor went even farther, doing a twirl and pose before screaming to the heavens, his hair glowing yellow and shooting up against the force of gravity. A ball of unfiltered might formed in his hands, and he cast it at the target, kicking up a shock wave that cracked windows for three blocks around before punching through the target, the wall behind it, the building behind that and causing a shop of extremely fragile and expensive glassware to explode into powder.

4.9s across the board. He would be the clear winner.

While the servants traced various holy sigils for luck in the air between them and the proving grounds, the fourth competitor stepped up to the platform. She really wasn't much to look at; some girl, maybe fourteen, maybe fifteen. Barely any figure to speak of, a very unflattering yellow and purple sorceress's costume, like you'd see on a kid at Halloween. She had fiery orange hair, and a somewhat unusual smirk... and before the servants had even gotten off the battlefield, a red aura flared up around the girl. She was chanting something, a LONG spell, but not one anybody could hear from that distance. Strange, the observers thought, how could some kid that young lea--

"DRAGON SLAAAAAAAVEE!!"

Nobody was conscious to see what happened, but the aftermath left the walls of the arena flattened, the competitors tossed around the landscape, one city block in flaming ruin, and all that was left of one of the judges was a pair of smoking boots.

But there was a 5.0 in front of those smoking boots, which was equaled by each judge after they woke up. 5.0, 5.0, 5.0.

The winner was Lina Inverse.

The very first set of paragraphs from the Slayers Reflect/Chaos/Rebirth Trilogy by Twoflower. A must-read for anyone who even remotely likes Slayers.

[Scooter]

"Ha ha ha! What's the matter, freak? Are you done for already?"

In the middle of a Tokyo city playground, a pair of girls lay on the ground, surrounded by a trio of teenage boys. One was a young teenage girl with shoulder-length purple hair, while the other one was younger, with short red hair and a pair of short horns poking up out of her head.

The biggest of the boys stepped forward and grabbed the purple-haired girl by the back of her shirt as she tried to flinch away.

"You're not going anywhere, witch!" He said, grinning as he hauled the terrified girl up to her feet. "Whatsa matter? If I hurt you, can't you just magically heal yourself or whatever? HA!"

With a feral sneer, the boy pulled his fist back, ready to strike.

"HOLD IT!"

The entire group whirled around, and then their eyes widened as they saw who had spoken. "IT'S SNAKE!"

The American nodded, his expression grim. "Kids, let's stop and think about this situation for a moment. Sure, I know that it feels good to hurt weirdoes like them, but you can't just beat up people for being different!"

The kids looked at each other, confused. "We can't?"

"Of course not! It's dangerously unsafe! Countless teenage brats have met a bloody and somewhat undeserved death picking on individuals who turn out to be insanely powerful freaks of nature," Snake explained, wagging his finger as the girls' faces darkened. "The SAFE approach to spiting people for having strange powers or physical traits is to shun them completely, excluding them from the social environment and starving them of human warmth. It provides the same sense of self-righteous superiority, but fosters a strong desire for friendship rather than revenge in the victim! Which can be a pretty handy plot device, at times."

"Wow... I never thought of it like that," one of the boys said, turning to his friends.

"You're right! Thanks, Snake!" Another said.

The leader nodded happily. "Now we know!"

Snake gave the boys a thumbs-up. "And knowing is half the battle!"

The boys turned away from the girls, giving them disdainful stares. "Come on, guys! Let's do something awesome by ourselves!"

"Yeah, who wants to kick around freaks with horns anyway?"

"I was getting bored beating up girls, anyway. Let's go find some nerds and hurt them, instead!"

Snake looked proud as he watched the boys run off, and then suddenly turned toward the confused and irritated girls as they stood up. "By the way, I don't suppose either of you have some sort of bizarre psychic power that can be used to track down this guy I'm looking for, do you?"

The girls remained silent, glaring up at the American.

Snake rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine, forget it. Sheesh. Weird AND useless." Without further comment, he walked off toward the street, hands in his pockets.

From Guardian, Chapter 27

[Kakanma]

From chapter one of Super Natural Taisen http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=132786

“Good morning, Mr. President,” Jack greeted, before turning to the other two tall figures in the elevator, “Lieutenant, Director.”

“Good morning, Colonel O’Neill, Dr. Jackson,” Xanatos answered. He was a tall man, with a cleanly cut beard and impeccably dressed. Jack found him even smugger than his campaign commercials made him out to be.

To his right was JSDF representative Lieutenant Tetsuya Tsurugi. Almost as tall as Xanatos, but with graying hair, Lt. Tsurugi carried himself in a way that reminded Jack of himself. Firmly, but loose enough to not appear rigid or uptight. In his right hand he had a strange, reinforced metal briefcase with the JSDF Ground Logo on the side of it—a stylized, radiating version of the famous Rising Sun of Japan.

To Xanatos’ left was the Director of UNIT, Hyppolita Trevor. She was the tallest of the three, wore a white business suit and was built like a Green Beret. Her body stood almost in contrast with her face, which was soft, warm and highlighted by an accepting smile.

And then there was the fourth figure: a 4ft tall Japanese girl who couldn’t be more than 10 years old in a white dress.

“So, is this ‘bring your daughter to work’ day?” Jack asked.

Holding the girl’s hand, Director Trevor moved her forward. The girl readied herself with a blink and said “Hello. I am Time-Space Administration Bureau Civilian Liaison Nanoha Takamichi. It is nice to meet you.” Nanoha then bowed slightly before reaching for the red the red jewel at the center of her simple necklace and added, “And this is Raising Heart.”

“Hello.” The jewel blinked a pink light and spoke in a voice that could be best described as a smoother feminine version of Stephen Hawking’s computer.

Now, how many ways can THIS go wrong?