The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

For submitting and talking about story ideas. Idea submissions must be at least five paragraphs long, and include plot points, summaries of which characters are involved, and, for fanfiction, how it differs from canon. Both original and fanfiction ideas welcome. Though original works should have more development. Replying posts must give actual commentary, no "GREAT IDEA" or "THIS SUCKS".

The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby Crescent Pulsar R » Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:43 am

This idea is a bare-minimum cross between Ranma 1/2 and Tenchi Muyo. Since the qualifications for how and what to post in this forum are both dubious and/or overkill for someone like myself (which is why I only now decided to do this for the first time, after all of these years), I'm going to provide all of the information required to understand the general idea in short story format (presented primarily in abridged reflection). How to summarize it should be quite evident once it's been read, so I'll leave it out. Besides, it'd be silly and dull to give the important stuff away in opposite order. And all that stuff that may confuse everyone else yet makes perfect sense to me. Hey, this is what I've got to work with. *I rap my noggin*

Anyway...

Code: Select all
     The Chousin -- that is Tokimi, Tsunami and Washu -- stood by in silence as they waited,
with bated breath, for their long-awaited dream to come true. At their feet was a normal-
looking spring, although they knew it to be far more than that. Across from them, on the
other side of the spring, was a young man by the name of Saotome Ranma. He was, at any
moment, going to plunge into the depths of the spring's special waters.
     Washu recalled how they had found Ranma and, as a result, Jusenkyo. It had all begun
with boredom and idle curiosity, only yesterday. She had devoted her time on Earth to
studying particular things of interest, notably Tenchi, as all of the individual humans that she
had encountered had not seemed special enough to study them on a greater scale. That had
changed when she had no pressing matters to attend to, among her many interests, studies
and projects, and needed to do something to pass the time.
     And so it was that her initial sampling of the local human population, consisting primarily of
those living in Japan, had brought to her attention two worthy matters of interest. The first
was evidence of there being some humans -- very few, in fact -- that were exceedingly more
powerful than what one would normally expect to be produced by the human race. The
second was a phenomenon among a handful of the first, that her scans couldn't identify.
     Her interest piqued, she had decided to approach and study the most promising subject of
those who fell under both groups of interest: Saotome Ranma. As it turned out, the reason for
him being so powerful, and at such a young age, was understandable. What she didn't
understand, however, was that the condition that was referred to as being a "curse" was
beyond her ability to decipher, in every conceivable way. Trying to study Jusenkyo, the
source of the curse, had led to the same result.
     After learning what the springs of Jusenkyo were capable of, especially in regard to the
niu ho man maolen niichuan spring, she and her sisters had concluded that their efforts might
have finally produced what they were looking for. Jusenkyo seemed neither sentient nor
sapient, according to their long-standing expectations, but that was not important so long as
the result was the same. The important thing was that it was beyond their ken, in that it
somehow worked despite doing so outside of the laws of the universe and its many known
dimensions. It simply couldn't exist, to their understanding, and yet it did.
     That concluded, a fresh spring had been made, and then they had held each other's
hands and submerged themselves into its waters. Once that had been done, they approached
Ranma and asked him to be the first candidate since, for one reason or another, what they
wanted wouldn't be suitable for the other people that they knew. In the end, Ranma's
character was good enough for them, and they could always find someone else if their plan
succeeded and he decided to become a human male twenty four-seven instead of keeping his
new "curse."
     "Well," Ranma spoke up, as he stared down at the spring, "here goes nothing."
     He proceeded to jump into the spring, and disappeared into its depths. The three Chousin
exchanged looks before their hopeful gazes returned to the spring, their hearts beating faster,
and their mouths becoming drier, the longer they waited for the result of their plan to break
the water's surface. When, at last, it did, what greeted them was a sight that brought tears
to their eyes. Ranma was unaware of that, however, as she focused on getting out of the
spring, and then on shaking the water out of her hair.
     So it came as a surprise to her when all three of the Chousin hugged her and exclaimed,
"onee-sama!"
     "Ack!"


There we go. Hopefully how I presented the idea will be acceptable. I'm the kind of person who prefers leaving (at least most of) the hows and whys up to others to play with and figure out, which isn't likely to produce anywhere near five paragraphs, so this method is my attempt at conciliation. Or something. But, hey, if someone really thinks that I need to hand out more information, suggestions and ideas, instead of coming up with something yourself, ask away. If I'm anything, I'm accommodating. ;p
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby Spokavriel » Wed Nov 03, 2010 8:49 am

Kinda missing how they managed to coerce him. The time setting is also a bit off or at least unclear. The timing is more awkward. And if Ranma becomes their sister... It might have been predictable but funnier if he became their mom.
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby Crescent Pulsar R » Wed Nov 03, 2010 10:36 am

The "coercion" should be simple for someone to figure out. For one, he'd be taken to Jusenkyo, and thus have access to the nanniichuan. The first dunking in the new spring is to see if it would even produce the result that they want, so Ranma, as the test dummy, would have the option to experience what the new curse has to offer and be able to decide whether or not to hop into the nanniichuan later, rather than having to commit to it.

The time setting is mostly relevant to the three Chousin being present, which means it takes place after the events in the OVA. As for Ranma 1/2, someone can choose a time following Ranma's return from China, as early as the fourth or sixth volumes. Or simply after the end of the manga. Whatever works for whoever. I have no idea what is being referred to with "timing," unless giving writers options disturbs some unwritten law of the universe, in regard to sharing story ideas. I prefer to leave things as basic as possible so there's less of "me" to work with (or out, or around, like impurities and filth) and whoever picks the idea up can have a better and easier time making it feel and become like one of their own. At least, to me, if I'm going to bother going through the trouble of cutting someone a gem, I might as well write the darn thing myself.

I chose the big sister role over the mother role for several reasons. For one, Ranma simply couldn't be their mother, as Misaki is to Sasami. Not only would it not feel natural for them, but acting like a mother is likely beyond Ranma's ability, much less interest. (Well, that probably depends on the author who characterizes him, anyway.) Also, Ranma's cursed form wouldn't be a result of being born from another being, so she'd be like them, and thus it'd be more appropriate to label her as a sister. While Ranma's certainly not older than them, or likely as mature or wise like one might hope for in an older sibling that they admire, the role is more open, personality-wise, and certainly possible for Ranma to grow into (which is one of the two main points of the idea). What kind of big sister she would become would be dependent on the author's idea of what a big sister should be, to Ranma, the goddesses, or both.

The reasoning behind the big sister idea is that the three goddesses are in positions of authority, and beyond themselves have no real sense of family. Even Sasami was fairly mature and responsible for her age, and once becoming one and the same with Tsunami she could act independently if she wanted to, which makes her roles as sister and daughter a fantasy, not fact. She can stop pretending whenever she wants to, because they're not like her, nor have the ability to stop her. So, what they want is an expanded sense of family without taking on the role that's "above," like usual (children, creations, et cetera). It's lonely at the top, so a big sister that has the ability to change their lives, and thus wresting complete control from them, means that a new and different existence can begin for them.
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby Spokavriel » Wed Nov 03, 2010 11:12 am

I meant timing in story as in all of this seems like its being described as a spur of the moment all put together in less than 1 whole day thing. Maybe I should have used pacing instead?
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby frice2000 » Wed Nov 03, 2010 11:52 am

Well as a story idea I think I've got two mild criticisms. First, is why exactly he'd agree to this. More power and a possible cure to his curse...OK...Maybe that works. More detail would be nice but as it's a story idea thats excusable. This really isn't the beginning of the story I'd hope for whoever picked it up though as it's not a great hook needs more surrounding detail. Second, that's a lot of power to leave around for someone to randomly stumble into. Seems sort of irresponsible. It's an interesting story idea and I do enjoy a good goddess Ranma story though so it'll be neat if someone does something with it.
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby AdmiralTigerclaw » Wed Nov 03, 2010 1:06 pm

I think 'drowning' Tenchi in the Spring would make more sense.

And it would make more sense for Ranma to agree because it would be a spring of drowned MALE Diety.


This doesn't even get into the nitpickyness that Magic is functionally BELOW the Choushin. (Magic exists in Kajishima works. It frequently falls under the term 'Ahou' such as in Photon and Saint Knight's Tale, but gets reffered to as 'magic' from time to time by the characters.)

Plus, I think you have to actually DROWN something in the spring for it to go active. (And I mean drown to DEATH. Because it is not a Very Tragic Tale otherwise. And makes no sense when you consider what the cursed springs are supposed to be. Effectively, a mystical place where a sense of foreboding lurks from all the creatures that died there, and the curse that lies on the land.)

Of course, creative license and all that... But those are issues to address. (And addressing them rather than just writing them/blowing them off would be good to show.)
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby Spokavriel » Wed Nov 03, 2010 1:36 pm

Akane Spring. She survived but she did get drowned until her heart stopped. To make this spring all 3 of them would have to "die" in the spring. That was why the Yetti riding the Ox was carrying the crane in one hand and eel in the other. All those animals had to die in the same spring and be in the water before anything else died there for it to combine that way in the spring.

Edit: There is also a spring of a kami... So if they can impart form through the springs can't they also end up trapped in the spring? After all Tsunami got trapped in her tree.
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby Wyrd » Wed Nov 03, 2010 2:49 pm

Something someone else pointed out to me is that while it is usually translated as 'spring of drowned,' the characters can also be interpreted as 'spring of immersed.' This is how you get springs like the octopus or duck or any of the other springs where drowning just doesn't make sense, and is why Akane was able to survive being used to make the spring of Akane. They just had to keep her immersed long enough, but not necessarily long enough to even stop her heart.
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby Spokavriel » Wed Nov 03, 2010 5:57 pm

There are people who immerse themselves daily if they have time for it. Translating it as drowned is the only way to keep things tragic.
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby Wyrd » Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:25 pm

Spokavriel wrote: There are people who immerse themselves daily if they have time for it. Translating it as drowned is the only way to keep things tragic.


Yes, but what if the guide is just being overly dramatic, and only a small percentage of the pools had anyone die in them? Consider especially that he likely makes his living(at least part of it) off of telling those tragic stories, so the more he embellishes them the more likely he is to get good tips. The immersion could have certain minimum requirements, such as having to be under water for at least a minute, which in many cases would be enough to kill them or represent a situation where the creature was already dying, as not many animals will voluntarily let themselves stay underwater that long.
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby Crescent Pulsar R » Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:58 pm

One must also remember that there is more to the definition of the word than it being an action that kills someone:

Drown wrote:v.tr.
2. To drench thoroughly or cover with or as if with a liquid.


There's no evidence of anyone's heart stopping, and there is evidence of Akane surviving, so simply being submerged is probably all that's required.

Spokavriel wrote: I meant timing in story as in all of this seems like its being described as a spur of the moment all put together in less than 1 whole day thing. Maybe I should have used pacing instead?

Most of it was an "abridged reflection," remember. It was meant to offer the bare bones of what happened, not a wholesome meal. And even those bare bones are merely suggestions from myself, as someone can come up with other ways for Ranma to end up in that situation. I prefer not to infringe on the creative licenses of others, if I can help it.

frice2000 wrote:Well as a story idea I think I've got two mild criticisms. First, is why exactly he'd agree to this. More power and a possible cure to his curse...OK...Maybe that works. More detail would be nice but as it's a story idea thats excusable. This really isn't the beginning of the story I'd hope for whoever picked it up though as it's not a great hook needs more surrounding detail. Second, that's a lot of power to leave around for someone to randomly stumble into. Seems sort of irresponsible. It's an interesting story idea and I do enjoy a good goddess Ranma story though so it'll be neat if someone does something with it.
Why he'd agree with it is up to the author. It probably wouldn't be unreasonable to him if they asked him to try being an all-powerful deity for a bit, and afterward having the option to become a regular guy again.

And, no, it wouldn't be the beginning of the story. As I pointed out above, most of it was an abridged reflection of possible events leading up to that point. While it's in story format, it shouldn't be confused for a story. If I wanted that, I'd just write the story myself.

As for what happens to the spring afterward is up to whoever. I'm sure the Chousin could do something to hide/protect it until it's no longer needed, or just get rid of it and make another if required.

AdmiralTigerclaw wrote:I think 'drowning' Tenchi in the Spring would make more sense.

And it would make more sense for Ranma to agree because it would be a spring of drowned MALE Diety.

But the whole point is that they want a big sister, not a big brother. Beyond that, so long as Ranma has the choice to try it, which would give him the opportunity to get himself cured later (if he's still of a mind to), then I don't see why he wouldn't agree to it.

This doesn't even get into the nitpickyness that Magic is functionally BELOW the Choushin. (Magic exists in Kajishima works. It frequently falls under the term 'Ahou' such as in Photon and Saint Knight's Tale, but gets reffered to as 'magic' from time to time by the characters.)

That's assuming that Jusenkyo is magic, which, in this case, it's not. And it can be said that anyone in the series who refers to it as being magical could also be making that same assumption, as anything that operates beyond one's understanding can be referred to as being magical, whether it really is or not.
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby AdmiralTigerclaw » Thu Nov 04, 2010 9:14 pm

Not convinced...

Sorry.
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby Crescent Pulsar R » Sat Nov 06, 2010 4:01 pm

Not my problem, whatever it is that you feel you need convincing of.
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby Spokavriel » Sat Nov 06, 2010 4:09 pm

Its missing 3 things to make it work.
1) Believable motivation for Ranma
2) Jusenkyo doesn't seem to work exactly the way you intend anywhere else.
3) Is there any point to making another sister? You can't really tie it into their experiment that produced Z and Tenchi it really doesn't work. You have a good try at it but you are trying to put a cube into a triangle opening on a flat puzzle. It just goes in different directions in many ways.
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Re: The Chousin, Ranma, Jusenkyo and STUFF

Postby Crescent Pulsar R » Sat Nov 06, 2010 4:20 pm

1: Eventual cure to the curse. I believe that was mentioned more than once.

2: And some curses start out permanent in fanfiction, even though there never was one in canon, and yet that's fine. Your point?

3: Is there any point to making a more "advanced" entity for the sake of it? The series, as far as I know, leaves us wondering about the why of it. So I think it's perfectly fine to fill that gap. It's not like they chose Z and Tenchi because they were guys; that was just a matter of circumstance. Take what you can get, and all that. I don't think it's a stretch for them to be more interested in the result than the subjects, in order to accomplish what they're really after. Also, even if someone can't perceive that to be the case, that never stopped anyone from writing AU elements before. I mean, hello, anybody home? I don't know why people make things harder on themselves so needlessly. If you don't like the idea, fine. Those who like it will know what to do with it.
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