The White Devil of the Moon (Nanoha/SM)

[bissek]

Another plot bunny I'm putting up for adoption.

When Serenity sent her daughter and the Senshi forward in time, something went slightly wrong. Most of them ended up being born within a very narrow time frame in the same general area, so that they all wound up roughly the same age and lived in the same general area of a specific district of Tokyo. Only the princess did not end up growing up in Juuban. She was born a few years earlier, in Unimari, as a girl named Nanoha Takimachi.

At the age of 9, Nanoha began her canon career as a magical girl, searching for Jewel Seeds. One day, she decided that she had been working too much and decided to take a day off. That afternoon, a Jewel Seed activates and ends up wrecking a sizable part of town. Nanoha decides that this incident means that she can't afford to take breaks and eventually goes on to become a workaholic, training intensively whenever she is not needed to be actively on duty.

Fast forward to the time period between As and StrikerS. Nanoha's extreme work ethic catches up to her. Her body, strained continuously by the fact that she never takes any time off, collapses in the middle of a fight. Before she can recover, she is critically injured. She spends the next several months healing and relearning how to walk. Once she is released from the hospital, she is ordered to take some of the leave time she's been accumulating for the past several years. Her friend/lover Fate goes along with her, both to enjoy some vacation time and to make sure that Nanoha actually does get some rest. For a place to relax, they choose a seemingly quiet place on Nanoha's homeworld. A place that is close enough by train so Nanoha can visit family and friends, but won't be obliged to spend all her time with them. A little part of Tokyo called Juuban.

Meanwhile in Juuban, a pair of talking cats are getting worried. They've located the Inner Senshi and Prince Endymion, but there is no sign of the Moon Princess anywhere. The Senshi have been holding their own against Beryl's forces, but they can't take the offensive until they find the Princess and the Crystal. Then one day, Luna finds her. She tries to contact the girl, but is driven away by a woman with blond hair and red eyes.

No matter what the moon cats try, every attempt to reach the princess is intercepted by the woman, who is unimpressed by the sight of talking cats and seems willing to feed them to her talking dog. They watch the princess from a distance, and realize that she is in a relationship with the other woman, and shows no romantic influence in any male, let alone her destined prince. They come to a conclusion. The red-eyed woman is a witch who has ensorcelled the princess for some reason, and is trying to keep them away to ensure that they don't free her. They go to gather the Senshi.

Fate, on the other hand, knows exactly what a talking animal means. It means that they are either a familiar (Like Arf), or a shapeshifting mage (Like Yuuno). If one of those is trying to contact Nanoha, then they must be trying to inform her of something that would make Nanoha feel obliged to go back to work. Since there doesn't seem to be any problems that require TSAB intervention in the area (Youma are not a dimensional problem, and while Mettallia and the Crystal might be a potential dimensional threat and a Lost Logia respectively, Fate doesn't know about them), she sees no reason why they need to get involved with local issues when the local experts are doing a perfectly good job in keeping things under control. Fate knows that if Nanoha returns to the field before she has fully recovered, she could very well end up wrecking her health permanently, so she will do whatever it takes to protect her friend from her workaholic tendencies by keeping the cats away, even if she has to do so by letting Arf use them as chew toys. If the cats want TSAB help that badly, then they can request it through normal channels.

And so four relatively inexperienced Senshi prepare to face off against one veteran mage over the fate of a woman who is totally unaware of what is going on, both sides feeling that they have Nanoha's best interests in mind.

[Comartemis]

First of all, this'll require playing with the Sailor Moon timeframe a little, since the official timeframe for Nanoha places the events of season 1 sometime around 2003 and Sailor Moon takes place in the early 1990s. Not a big problem, just something to keep in mind when you're thinking about available technology.

Anyways... how long have the Senshi been holding off the Youma? If season 1 has turned into a war of attrition over more than a year or two, then the Senshi may have developed quite a bit of experience with their powers and be somewhat more threatening than the anime would suggest.

In any case, the Senshi are going to need to take a few Levels in Badass (or at least competency) to have a ghost of a chance against Fate, much less Fate and Arf. I would recommend having Venus become the team's nominal leader and put in place some kind of training schedule in the backstory, so that the Senshi are at least as dangerous as an exceptionally talented TSAB recruit like Subaru or Teana. Otherwise Fate will just curbstomp the entire team in every fight.

Is it alright if I post this idea on the Nanoha Fanfiction thread on Animesuki? I think they could provide a lot of useful feedback on this idea.

[Heaven's Deamon]

Another thing to consider if the senshi been fighting for years is if any other enemies (particularly the Death Busters, since the timeline would be too altered for the Black Moon Family to show up) have joined in the fight?

[Arkeus]

hey, i already answered in TFF, but this looks more lively.

So, first i suspect the Moon Kingdom were quite technologically advanced, and had made a few interesting things.

You could have the planet power being a LL class power binding technique that grants immortality (or longevity) as well as power.

SM seems more advanced in healing techniques too, i think.

The crystal is *definitely* high-grade. RH/Crystal fusion? if you want to take a 4komas approach, it could be quite funny.

A few tweaks: the timeline should be altered, as comar said.

Also, the power level of the senshi should be tweaked a bit between anime-manga so that no one group is theoritically completely out of the league of the other. E.G Having the TSAB be better at some things, and the Senshi at others (after a time, as they are fairly worthless at the beginning).

There needs to be a *plot*!

The beginning, the premise, seems like fun. But what then? a short misunderstanding is not enough. Even A's had a "villain" of sort. something that threatened them.

Also, don't feel forced to put fate. I don't see Fate as confident enough for this role (though you can stil use her) but someone like Vita could very well put much fun in Fate's place. Even Yuuno...XD

[Comartemis]

You could have the planet power being a LL class power binding technique that grants immortality (or longevity) as well as power.

To keep things close to canon the Star Seeds are probably going to need to be explained in terms of linker cores. A leftover magic derived from Al Hazard should work well for this, but if you get in-depth with the crossover you'll have to be able to explain the connection and how the Senshi in general--not just the Solar Senshi but all of them, Kakyuu and the Starlights included--came to be.

The crystal is *definitely* high-grade. RH/Crystal fusion? if you want to take a 4komas approach, it could be quite funny.

Nah, it's a Jewel Seed that works the way it's supposed to, using the life/magic of the user to grant wishes. You wanna really elevate the hostility between the Senshi and Fate? Have her learn what the ginzuishou is, what they need it for, and what they expect it to do to people who use it. Fate is not gonna like that. Not. One. Bit.

There needs to be a *plot*!

The beginning, the premise, seems like fun. But what then? a short misunderstanding is not enough. Even A's had a "villain" of sort. something that threatened them.

That's what the Dark Kingdom is for. If the Senshi are getting a competency boost, then there's no reason why the DK shouldn't get one as well, and Beryl isn't going to stop being interested in killing the Moon Princess just because said Princess isn't Usagi, nor is Tux Boy going to stop looking for her.

*Comar envisions Endymion and Fate glaring lightning bolts at each other while Nanoha looks on cluelessly*

As far as power levels go, I figure the Generals to be about AAA-rank, Beryl to be somewhere between S and SS, and Metallia is a SSS-rank Cosmic Horror that needs Nanoha and the Crystal to dispatch completely.

Also, don't feel forced to put fate. I don't see Fate as confident enough for this role (though you can stil use her) but someone like Vita could very well put much fun in Fate's place. Even Yuuno...XD

On the contrary, Fate is the best person for the job here. It's right after Nanoha's accident, she's a newly-minted S-rank Enforcer, and Nanoha needs her even if she doesn't want to admit it. I'm getting all kinds of Mama Bear readings off of this situation.

[Heaven's Deamon]

One way of doing the Star Seed explanation would be that it was first developed as an end result of some form of ritual to link mages to planets to increase their powers. Add in the ritual being "attached" to the planets so that they would automatically activate, or that there are Ruins on the planets that can do the ritual automatically once activated to explain why Senshi came about after El Hazard fell. I'd say make the Ginsuishou not just a starseed, but a Starseed fused with another artifact in order to provide a greater level of control over it and limit it's users because when it was first found no one knew how to use it properly.

[Arkeus]

Gah, Star Seed are anime, galaxy cauldron is manga, so why not to a third thing? should make sense.

As for generals, i don't see them as being more than C rank. :shrugs:

The Crystal being some sort of jewel seed is a good idea though, but Fate won't really much care (beside making sure it doesn't go berserk).

Fate as mama bear is impossible. She doubts herself a lot, and i'll be very surprised to see her keeping anything from Nanoha that concerns her.

OTOH, Vita bear is canon ^__^

[Heaven's Deamon]

Fate normally doesn't do Mama Bear because Nanoha would beat her to it in most cases. In a situation where She wants to protect someone (Nanoha) and lacks nearby reainforcements and a reason to call for distant ones I could see her going Mama Bear as long as things don't get out of hand. She could have some doubt at first, but once things get into a battle that wouldn't hold her back. And remember, Beware the Nice Ones.

[Arkeus]

Not true. StrikerS showed us that Fate does doubt even in the midst of battle. Nanoha does not go mama bear. Some argument could go in her being harsh and spartan, even.

Fate...doesn't have the characters to force her opinions into others. She *fears* to do so.

[Comartemis]

Gah, Star Seed are anime, galaxy cauldron is manga, so why not to a third thing? should make sense.

Perhaps, but it's preferable to try to reconcile the differences between the two using what we have rather than creating something completely different if at all possible. Star Seeds being Linker Cores + Al Hazardian magic works well enough for this.

Also, Star Seeds come from both the manga and the anime, they're just Senshi-exclusive in the manga (as opposed to the 'false' Star Seeds that create Phages in the anime).

As for generals, i don't see them as being more than C rank. :shrugs:

Are we talking about the same Generals who use telekinesis to throw Boeing 747s around like tinker toys (anime Jadeite) and put all of Tokyo under several feet of ice (manga Kunzite)?

The Crystal being some sort of jewel seed is a good idea though, but Fate won't really much care (beside making sure it doesn't go berserk).

On the contrary, Fate is going to care very very much about the Senshi trying to get Nanoha to use a "Jewel Seed" that has a near 100% chance of killing her. This reason, even if all the others aren't sufficient, will be more than enough to convince Fate to go all-out against the Senshi.

Not true. StrikerS showed us that Fate does doubt even in the midst of battle

Most people in Fate's position would have a Heroic BSOD if confronted with evidence that they were just like an abusive mother. Hesitancy in combat is not--generally speaking--one of Fate's trademarks; that's somewhat closer to Teana's shtick with her self-esteem issues. I for one have no trouble believing that Fate would chase off the Senshi in the interest of Nanoha's health, violently if necessary.

[bissek]

If you want to post this on animesuki, Comartemis, go right ahead. Just give me credit for the initial idea.

[Arkeus]

I ddin't try to create "something new", i just said that the planet thing can easily be explained by a Moon kingdom technique (like linking the linker core to a specific planet). It can also be lots of different things. No need to throw al hazred everywhere though.


mmmh, didn't remember Jadeite doing anything worthwhile in the anime, weird.

Of course, manga levels of people are >>>>> anime for sailor moon.


Fate may care they want Nanoha to use a jewel seedesk artifact that could kill her. However, she won't go berserk and act alone.

She just can't do that, i believe, because she knows the pain of going "all out" against someone for selfish reasons.

As for the whole Jail act? it meant nothing. There was no "proof" or anything. Psychological warfare at its basest, and it works only because fate is *extremely* fragile.

[Comartemis]

If you want to post this on animesuki, Comartemis, go right ahead. Just give me credit for the initial idea.

Roger that.

Fate may care they want Nanoha to use a jewel seedesk artifact that could kill her. However, she won't go berserk and act alone.

She just can't do that, i believe, because she knows the pain of going "all out" against someone for selfish reasons

I hardly think protecting Nanoha's health counts as a selfish reason. I also think you're missing a few critical points here, Ark. Or at least the significance of them.

Let's recap the situation from Fate's perspective:

Fate has just recently seen the most important person in her world nearly die because said person overworked herself. It's not just Nanoha who's suffering through her recovery and rehabilitation, Fate has also suffered from watching Nanoha be in such pain and be so afraid of losing her ability to fly.

Now Nanoha is out of the hospital but could lapse back into critical condition if she pushes herself, which it is entirely possible if she catches wind of this situation with the Senshi. With Vita and the rest busy with work, Fate is the only one around to keep Nanoha safe, and is therefore going to have some very strong protective instincts towards her.

Knowing Nanoha as she does, Fate knows that Nanoha will accept a request for help if she receives one even in her current condition, which has a very good chance of causing her health to take a nosedive. To Fate’s perspective, it is therefore in Nanoha’s best interest that Fate not allow the Senshi to make their request, even if that means Fate has to hide things from her. It’s only until their vacation is over, anyways.

Fate’s behavior is not so much in line with attacking the Senshi on sight like a “berserker” as you put it, so much as a gatekeeper of the “You Shall Not Pass” sort. And her determination to keep the Senshi away from Nanoha redoubles once Fate learns what exactly the Senshi need her for. The fact that they also apparently want her to meet some strange guy she’s supposed to fall in love with at first sight doesn’t help matters any, but that’s a personal concern and merely tangential to Fate’s concerns for Nanoha’s health.

There was no "proof" or anything. Psychological warfare at its basest, and it works only because fate is *extremely* fragile.

If Fate was anything even resembling fragile in the psychological sense, she would’ve chosen to stay in Reinforce’s illusionary world at the end of A’s. Jail’s Hannibal Lecture only worked so well because it struck at an especially tender wound. Fate is many things but fragile is not anywhere on the list.

[Not-Going-to-Tell]

This... is a very good, original idea. I like what I see, and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

All joking aside, what happens after the Dark Kingdom falls? The other storylines follow? Because I CANNOT see Nanoha making Crystal Tokyo, then letting some upstarts jump through time. On the flipside, Vivio gets a new big sister or two, in all likelyhood, either from chibi-Nano or Hotaru.

The Messiah of Silence and the Daughter of the Saint team up. This idea will not leave my head now.

[Comartemis]

All joking aside, what happens after the Dark Kingdom falls? The other storylines follow? Because I CANNOT see Nanoha making Crystal Tokyo, then letting some upstarts jump through time. On the flipside, Vivio gets a new big sister or two, in all likelyhood, either from chibi-Nano or Hotaru.

If the series progressed past the first season, most likely the Death Busters would make an immediate appearance afterwards, assuming Ail and Ann don't show up sometime during the main festivities. Nanoha wouldn't have any kind of interest in ruling a planet (makes me wonder what Pluto has to say about that...) and the Great Freeze could be stopped by TSAB intervention.

Now here's my question: if the Princess reincarnated as Nanoha, what's keeping Uranus and Neptune from reincarnating as Suzuka and Arisa?

The Messiah of Silence and the Daughter of the Saint team up. This idea will not leave my head now.

Waaaaaay ahead of you, NGTT. ^_^