Engagement Contest Entry - Engagementus Maximus

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Engagement Contest Entry - Engagementus Maximus

Postby Daniel Jess Gibson » Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:02 am

Disclaimer, I do not own the characters of Ranma used here. I do own the mind that produced this idea, but only because it's against Federal Law to sell it.
Engagement Contest Entry
Engagementus Maximus - By Daniel Gibson <dan_s.comments@att.net>
. . . Ranma walked dispiritedly through the chilled mist. Spray like a light rain spattered from the pipes that lined the walls and ceiling. At least it isn't as bad as when I got here, he, actually she, thought, It was like a constant monsoon. She looked at the low wall that surrounded the two tatami mat-sized enclosure that had been her home for over three months. She knew some of the people ringing the enclosure were guards, others stood by with buckets of ice water. All of them wore an expression of intense concentration. Ranma had only seen guys or girls so intense in the middle of a fight.
. . . Ranma snuck in a little practice every now and again, a few very basic, very slow and simple moves, nothing that would draw attention. Scary, the Emperor himself, and her Highness both came to see me, bowed to me and begged me to cooperate with the docs and soldiers, Ranma shivered at the memory, They begged me to avoid any martial arts or anything dangerous. He remembered her Highness openly weeping. I couldn't say 'no', he lamented, I just wish somebody would tell me what's going on.
. . . The food was delivered at the usual time, carefully packaged to keep it relatively dry, despite the ever-present rain. Good, almost as good as Kasumi-chan's, or Uc-chan's, he thought as he sat down to enjoy one of the few pleasant things that broke through the boredom of these endless days. The docs' tests sure ain't boring, he thought and shivered at the memories.
------------------------------
. . . The chief medical officer checked the results and allowed himself to smile. "Finally," he sighed and raised his glasses and rubbed his nose, "Have the results been checked."
. . . "And rechecked, and triple-checked," his assistant, another Nobel-prize winning biochemist, told him.
. . . "I think it's time we tell young Mister Saotome," the doctor said, "I think he's beginning to cache at his protective custody."
. . . "Should we tell him about his `friends`?" the security official asked.
. . . "Are they safely on the moon?" the medical officer asked.
. . . "We're sure, and we lost the radio frequencies," the security man assured him.
. . . "Just so you're sure. We've got 11 divisions protecting our guest, and people still made attempts to get through," the doctor said, "We can't be too careful."
. . . "They were almost to the moon when we `lost` contact," the security man assured him, "They couldn't be anywhere else. It's not like we trained them to pilot that thing before they left."
------------------------------
. . . Ryoga looked through the visor of his spacesuit at the odd colored sky and the red dust at his feet. "Where are we now!"
. . . "Don't blame me," Mousse reached for his glasses, only to have his own helmet block his gloved hand, "I did exactly what you told me to do."
. . . Ryoga kicked over the big, metal sculpture with the American flag on it.
. . . "What do you mean, varlet?" Kuno the Star-Samurai asked as he drew his bokken on the equally space-suited panda, "You consumed all the victuals!"
. . . The panda's sign read 'Hey I got hungry.' He flipped it, 'Your snoring kept waking me up.'
. . . Kuno began chasing the panda all over the landscape.
. . . "Ranma! This is all your fault!" Ryoga and Mousse chorused.
------------------------------
. . . Ranma shivered for a reason other than the cold water and the doctor's appearance. "Not more samples, please doc," he asked plaintively, trying to appear as cute as possible.
. . . "No, no more tests," the doctor assured the young man turned girl, "I think it's time we explained what's been going on."
. . . Ranma took the offered chair. This doc ain't as bad as some of the others, Ranma thought, He lets himself get wet instead of coming in in that plastic suit. "So what is going on?"
. . . "Do you remember the homework from the Cooking Club Miss Tendo was a member of?"
. . . "Yeah, do I!" Ranma said and remembered the blue-striped, yellowish-green stuff that Akane had insisted was foreign food. ~It was about as foreign to food as I think it's possible to be,~ he thought.
. . . "It appears that she had some help from Miss Kodachi Kuno and Miss Shampoo," the doc told him, "Help she'd probably could have done without."
. . . "So Akane's toxic cooking is why I'm here?" Ranma asked then glanced around nervously.
. . . "Relax, she's at The Hague under guard, her lawyer is sure she can get her off on an insanity defense," the doc assured him, "Her diatribes against boys have been very helpful in that regard, I'm told. She punched out a reporter for 'being a pervert'."
. . . "That sounds like Akane," Ranma admitted, "So what does that have to do with me."
. . . "Her cooking dispersed through the biosphere, and sterilized all Homo Sapiens males."
. . . "So it made these Homo Sapiens real clean?" Ranma asked in confusion.
. . . "Homo Sapiens are people," the doctor explained, "Like you and me. Sterilized in this context means incapable of having children."
. . . The doc paused as if this was momentous, Ranma didn't understand. Guys normally can't have kids, girls have kids. Oh, he means they can't be dads . . . I can't be a dad! Ranma suddenly realized and stood up, grabbing the doctor and shaking him. "There's got to be a cure doc! If I can't have kids! My mom will say I'm unmanly and I'll . . . " He controlled himself set the doctor down. "You gotta find me a cure doc! You just gotta."
. . . "You already found a cure yourself. Women are completely unaffected, they aren't even carriers. That's why the constant cold water," the doc said indicating the sprayers that still dampened both of them.
. . . Ranma let out a breath. "Thanks, doc. I'd a never thought of that. You're a life-saver, really."
. . . "I've been debating letting you talk to your family," the doc said, signaling for a phone to be brought in, "I think you'll need their support in this."
. . . The speaker phone was set near the opening of the enclosure, out of the `rain`.
. . . "WAAHH! They've arrested my baby for Attempted Genocide!"
. . . Ranma frowned and backed away from the phone. It's got to be the sprayers, he thought, But I swear there's tears pouring out of that phone.
. . . "Ranma you owe me for the cushy job I got you."
. . . "You had nothing to do with it," the doctor retorted sharply, "Any further such threats and your family will be cut off completely. Is that understood?"
. . . "WAAHH! Nabiki's trying to end the Tendo line!"
. . . "You wouldn't kill them would you?" Ranma whispered his plea to the doc, "They can be a pain, but they don't deserve that."
. . . "Oh my son, so manly!" crackled from the speaker. Eight guards had to tackle Ranma outside the enclosure, to keep him from sprinting for the tall grass.
. . . "Ranma!" the doc tried to calm him down, "I assure you, your mother is convinced that you are the manliest man on the planet. She has affidavits to that effect from every government and medical agency on Earth."
. . . "So, she won't - " Ranma asked, still in a deep panic.
. . . "No, you are quite safe," the doc told him in the soothing tone that usually meant the doc was going to stick a cold piece of metal somewhere unpleasant, and didn't want Ranma sticking it some where the doc wasn't happy having it.
. . . When no metal, sharp or cold, was in evidence, Ranma calmed down. "Sorry, doc."
. . . "Quite all right," the doc assured him, patted his shoulder and led him back into the enclosure. The bucket brigade following their movement every step of the way.
. . . "From the sounds of battle," Cologne's voice came through the speaker, as Ranma sat down again, "It's clear he doesn't fully understand what's happening."
. . . "She can't reach through the phone, can she?" Ranma whispered to the doc.
. . . "Absolutely not," the doc assured him.
. . . "Why don't you tell me then ya old ghoul?" Ranma said and dove away from the phone. He looked up sheepishly a few moments later.
. . . "I don't have to bop you son-in-law," Cologne cackled, "The truth will out." She cleared her throat and began with relish. "All men on this planet can no longer father children. Women are completely immune to the scourge. Now that it has been cured, no man conceived after this moment will be affected. However, you weren't a man when this plague struck them down, and they've kept you female until a cure could be found."
. . . "That was the shot you got two days ago," the doc added.
. . . Ranma wasn't sure were all this was headed, but he didn't like it.
. . . "The entire human race will be descended from you," Cologne cackled so hard, she started coughing.
. . . Ranma was frozen as he realized what she'd said. "You mean, for any girl to have kids I gotta . . . I can't marry them ALL!"
. . . "No," the doc assured him, "Marriages won't be necessary. We've thought this through very carefully."
. . . "Getting girls pregnant without even being engaged," Kasumi said through the phone, "That seems terribly improper."
. . . "Yes, my manly son should at least be honorably engaged to them, if they are to be his mistresses and bear his children," his mother agreed.
. . . Ranma stared at the doc in terror. "How many girls are we talking about?" he asked quietly.
. . . "Depending on your health, diet and efficacy of some techniques . . . about 50,000," the doc said.
. . . One of the soldiers caught Ranma as he fainted. "Fifty thousand. Fifty thousand, Akane will kill me," he murmured over and over.
. . . "Well, that's just the first month."
. . . Blackness closed in around Ranma.
Author's Note: Here's the first one. See it wasn't hard. Now, go and do likewise. You wanted engagements, how does nearly every female of child-bearing age on the planet sound?
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Postby PCHeintz72 » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:58 am

Hmmm... this has some interesting possibilities.
Actually though, I once saw a post apocalyptic type movie where most men were like that, and when the rare one was found that was still active, they drugged him and attached him to machines to get what they could out of him. Can't remember the name of it though.
Since all the governments are involved (per the doc), and they've obviously stepped in, there is almost no point in the Nerima side of it. Even Cologne would not be able to touch him directly.
On the other hand, it should be possible Herb also survived. I wonder if they know.
Another thing, the amount of sperm a male can produce over a month should be able to go for even more than 50,000. That may only be due to limits of tech to preserve it long enough to get to the ... applicants/lucky drawers/whatever one would call it.
I could see problems down the road though with lack of genetic diversity and potential inbreeding issues.
EDIT: I just checked, one measure of sperm is determined that a low volume is 20 million per ml.
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Postby Hazard » Wed Nov 08, 2006 10:59 am

Heintz, that means every week a single male may produce enough sperm to fertilize 1 billion women, at least, didn't check the numbers though...
Daniel, I didn't know there were American constructions like that on Mars. The rovers were pretty small, as were the landing modules.
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Postby Daniel Jess Gibson » Wed Nov 08, 2006 1:28 pm

Thank you for commenting.
PCHeintz72 wrote:Actually though, I once saw a post apocalyptic type movie where most men were like that, and when the rare one was found that was still active, they drugged him and attached him to machines to get what they could out of him. Can't remember the name of it though.

A Boy and his Dog, from the Harlan Ellison story.
PCHeintz72 wrote:Since all the governments are involved (per the doc), and they've obviously stepped in, there is almost no point in the Nerima side of it. Even Cologne would not be able to touch him directly.

True, but she is `family`, so she can talk to him.
PCHeintz72 wrote:On the other hand, it should be possible Herb also survived. I wonder if they know.

Herb survived, but (depending on time period) either still stuck as a girl, or became a male in the past months and was sterilized. There's also the Spring of the Drown Boy, volunteers for Gender-Reassignment? Not only is it possible, now it's patriotic. We cannot allow those evil sub-humans over the hill to breed more prodig - sorry, channelling George C. Scott again.
PCHeintz72 wrote:Another thing, the amount of sperm a male can produce over a month should be able to go for even more than 50,000. That may only be due to limits of tech to preserve it long enough to get to the ... applicants/lucky drawers/whatever one would call it.

You'd need a fair volume (microliters at least) per dose. There's also the question of how many girls/women could be processed by the world's in vitro labs.
PCHeintz72 wrote:I could see problems down the road though with lack of genetic diversity and potential inbreeding issues.
EDIT: I just checked, one measure of sperm is determined that a low volume is 20 million per ml.

That means at the microliter level you've have 20,000.
Hazard wrote:Heintz, that means every week a single male may produce enough sperm to fertilize 1 billion women, at least, didn't check the numbers though...

A certain percentage of those sperm are damaged, some can't get into the egg, so you need a fair number to do the fertilization.
Hazard wrote:Daniel, I didn't know there were American constructions like that on Mars. The rovers were pretty small, as were the landing modules.

:!: Old Fart Alert:Viking lander, from 1976. It was a fairly big piece of equipment. In my day, we didn't have them fancy shuttles, we did everything with rockets. Big rockets.
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Postby Innortal » Wed Nov 08, 2006 9:17 pm

Sadly, I could see this happening.
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Postby DBHay » Thu Nov 09, 2006 1:32 am

There was a (very) B grade movie with this theme as well, 'Hell comes to Frogtown' starring Roddy Piper, post apocalyptic with Roddy as the only fertile man on earth.
As for Cologne I can see her
A. Trying to get Shampoo first in the queue for personal satisfaction (it took the rest of the worlds males being steralised but Shampoo finally got him) and
B. Peddling spring of drowned boy to various govts in a bid to get power and prestige for the tribe, though she's canny enough to realise how that could backfire on her.
How are the more extreme religons taking this, anyone declared Jihad on Akane?
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Postby DCG » Thu Nov 09, 2006 2:50 am

hmm, passing around spring of drowned water packs could take the pressure off ranma some.
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Postby MGSaintz » Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:37 am

Wouldn't there be some sperm sample left frozen in some clinics around the world from men who donated before they got sterilized? And the drown water is a must for a stable genetic base since one male isn't going to cut it.
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Postby crystlshake » Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:56 am

I like the subtext of Akane creating Ranma into the monster she percieved him to be. Now he'll have to impregnate a lot of girls to save the human race. Its the only honorable solution afterall.
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Postby Daniel Jess Gibson » Thu Nov 09, 2006 7:04 am

Innortal wrote:Sadly, I could see this happening.

Everything except Akane's cooking.
DBHay wrote:There was a (very) B grade movie with this theme as well, 'Hell comes to Frogtown' starring Roddy Piper, post apocalyptic with Roddy as the only fertile man on earth.
As for Cologne I can see her
A. Trying to get Shampoo first in the queue for personal satisfaction (it took the rest of the worlds males being steralised but Shampoo finally got him) and
B. Peddling spring of drowned boy to various govts in a bid to get power and prestige for the tribe, though she's canny enough to realise how that could backfire on her.

Assuming that Cologne has the authority to force the council to go along with her. I think you're right about Cologne putting Shampoo if not first, at least first of the Nerima girls.
DBHay wrote:How are the more extreme religons taking this, anyone declared Jihad on Akane?

I'd be more worried about someone trying to do in Ranma, to insure the extinction of humanity.
DCG wrote:hmm, passing around spring of drowned water packs could take the pressure off ranma some.

Both the permanent and the temporary.
MGSaintz wrote:Wouldn't there be some sperm sample left frozen in some clinics around the world from men who donated before they got sterilized? And the drown water is a must for a stable genetic base since one male isn't going to cut it.

There would be, but they might have been contaminated. There is always a delay between a pathogen and the proper countermeasures being implimented.
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Postby Innortal » Thu Nov 09, 2006 7:28 am

And they also might not carry immunity with them.
As for Drowned Boy, it might be difficult, since the Phoenix all but laid claim to it. They cursed themselves with it to explore the world, and took the section of the Jusenkyo map with its location on it.
If we put this after Saffron, then it'll be a while before the flooding of Jusenkyo is over, and even then, there's no proof positive the springs will still work.
I assume Cologne snagged some prime spots in the first group, by providing her knowledge of Jusenkyo to the government. The only downside is that Shampoo won't get her snoo snoo with Airen.
Imbreeding issues are null for the moment. The major issues with it take several generations to usually appear. Plus, consider that all of humanity descend from several thousand that survived the last super volcano eruption. With a wide diversity in females, the point might be mute before anything bad starts to happen.
And that all assumes that the boys don't inherit 'daddy's' curse.
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Postby DBHay » Thu Nov 09, 2006 1:31 pm

Daniel Jess Gibson wrote;
'I'd be more worried about someone trying to do in Ranma, to insure the extinction of humanity.'
Good point, the more radical lesbians are probably very happy with the current situation.
How long before the feminist deathsquads are on Ranmas trail to put an end to the male virus forever? :lol:
I can also see some nurse at this centre taking her chance and giving Ranma a crash course in reproduction.
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Postby crystlshake » Thu Nov 09, 2006 2:49 pm

Of course on the flip side of that the lesbians might be more comfortable with it since hes a girl half the time. If the curse carries over it may buy more points with their group as well. It would be a pretty off hinged individual to be so anti male as to knowingly kill possibly the only hope of humanities continued existence. Short of genetic splicing and possibly killing the chance of normal reproduction for the species forever (or until a mutation that counteracts the pathogen takes place and one of the affected individuals successfully passes the traits on) Im sure the world powers are putting a lot of assets into ensureing it would go off as smoothly as possible for as long as possible.
Hence I dont see Akane or the other involved individuals responsible as ever seeing the light of day. Probably in large part for their own protection. Theres going to be a lot of angry people for that level of terrorism.
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Postby Steiner » Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:19 pm

Hm. Wouldn't that completely, utterly and royally screw up each and every future generation? (at least the next one), what with -all- newly-born boys being half-brothers to the girls? (or will people look past the age difference?)
Inbreeding is -so- out :x
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Postby Daniel Jess Gibson » Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:47 pm

crystlshake wrote:I like the subtext of Akane creating Ranma into the monster she percieved him to be. Now he'll have to impregnate a lot of girls to save the human race. Its the only honorable solution afterall.

Oh course, that's the irony. I also think that Akane will never realize the cost Ranma will have to pay, he has had to give up Martial Arts,and all his friends, until a sufficient number of alternatives are available.
crystlshake wrote:Of course on the flip side of that the lesbians might be more comfortable with it since hes a girl half the time. If the curse carries over it may buy more points with their group as well.

There's no evidence that the curse is genetic.
crystlshake wrote:It would be a pretty off hinged individual to be so anti male as to knowingly kill possibly the only hope of humanities continued existence.

I've met a fair number of people like that. Ah, the wonders of the open-minded at University.
crystlshake wrote:Short of genetic splicing and possibly killing the chance of normal reproduction for the species forever (or until a mutation that counteracts the pathogen takes place and one of the affected individuals successfully passes the traits on) Im sure the world powers are putting a lot of assets into ensureing it would go off as smoothly as possible for as long as possible.

Of course, I think you can bet that those 11 divisions were the very best from the world's catalog.
crystlshake wrote:Hence I dont see Akane or the other involved individuals responsible as ever seeing the light of day. Probably in large part for their own protection. Theres going to be a lot of angry people for that level of terrorism.

You never know.
Somebody wrote:Nobody ever lost money betting on human stupidity.

Innortal wrote:And they also might not carry immunity with them.

They have a preventative and are probably innoculating the entire world.
Innortal wrote:As for Drowned Boy, it might be difficult, since the Phoenix all but laid claim to it. They cursed themselves with it to explore the world, and took the section of the Jusenkyo map with its location on it.

I suspect that people could `persuade` them to help, considering they were affected as well.
Innortal wrote:If we put this after Saffron, then it'll be a while before the flooding of Jusenkyo is over, and even then, there's no proof positive the springs will still work.

The Guide said the waters were receding and sent a keg of the water. There is the Temporary as well, it would last long enough for an extraction.
Innortal wrote:I assume Cologne snagged some prime spots in the first group, by providing her knowledge of Jusenkyo to the government. The only downside is that Shampoo won't get her snoo snoo with Airen.

I think Shampoo's pregnancy as well as the Amazons getting a huge share compared to the world population would let Shampoo keep her honor.
Innortal wrote:Imbreeding issues are null for the moment. The major issues with it take several generations to usually appear. Plus, consider that all of humanity descend from several thousand that survived the last super volcano eruption. With a wide diversity in females, the point might be mute before anything bad starts to happen.

The inbreeding would be negligable, one male, but millions of females would prevent the effect. The inbreeding required a closed population of males and females.
Innortal wrote:And that all assumes that the boys don't inherit 'daddy's' curse.

There's no evidence the curse is genetic.
Daniel Jess Gibson wrote:I'd be more worried about someone trying to do in Ranma, to insure the extinction of humanity.

DBHay wrote:Good point, the more radical lesbians are probably very happy with the current situation.

And the Zero population growth types, radical environmentalists, etc. As well as Eugenics.
DBHay wrote:How long before the feminist deathsquads are on Ranmas trail to put an end to the male virus forever? :lol:

They probably already tried.
DBHay wrote:I can also see some nurse at this centre taking her chance and giving Ranma a crash course in reproduction.

Those buckets of ice water have another purpose.
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