Rurouni Ranma 08 - All's Fair at the Fair

[DarkFyre99]

Cyrus stared at the map layed out on the table before him. The assault would be difficult, but the rewards more than made up for the risk. “Once the walls have been battered down, let the catapults make the initial assault to soften up the defenders. Taking New Delhi will break the backbone of India, especially since it’s Buddhism’s holy city. Hopefully Ghandi will be willing to accept our terms after this. It’s getting hard to keep the people content, given how many centuries this war has dragged on.”
“Ahem.”
Cyrus turned and looked at the girl behind him, taking in her kodachi and her outfit. “That’s odd, there isn’t another civilization on this continent, and it’s a bit too early for Samuri to make an appearance right now...”
One of Cyrus’ advisors coughed politely, “Her outfit looks more Chinese than Japanese.”
Saotome Ranma glowered at Cyrus. “Do you have any idea how long we’ve been waiting for you to continue this fic?”
“Um...”
“Four months!”
A second, younger girl appeared “Oui! Iris wants to go on her first date! Isn’t that right, Jean-Paul?”
“But... the new patch is out!”
The sound of a katana being drawn caused Cyrus to turn.
Shishio Makoto glared at the leader of Persia menacingly. “You’re delaying my conquest of Japan...”
“Eep! I guess global domination can wait for a while...”
“Very wise.”
Rurouni Ranma
by DarkFyre99
disclaimer: The characters and situations of any series, including but not limited to, Ranma ½, Sakura Wars, Sailor Moon, or Rurouni Kenshin, appearing in this fanfiction do not belong to me. I’m just borrowing them without permission.
Please remember that Sakura Wars takes place in Tokyo of an alternate-history, “Steam Punk” Japan. I’ve relocated them to modern Kyoto (the old capitol of Japan) for the purposes of this story. Their mecha are still steam powered, however.
Sorry about the delay, but between playing Civilization IV: Warlords, and trying to salvage my original fanfic I’ve been writing, I’m afraid I let this one sit idle too long.
Thanks for waiting, and now... on with the show!
Chapter Eight: All’s Fair at the Fair
Tsukino Usagi yawned, staring blearily at the book on the table before her. She then blushed and glanced at the other four girls seated around the table. “Sorry.”
“Mamoru-san keeping you up nights, Usagi-chan?” Minako asked with naughty grin.
The other blonde pouted. “I wish... I mean, of course not!”
The tall brunette picked up on the teasing of their best friend, “So it’s what you two are during the day that’s got you so tired.” Kino Makoto elbowed the odangoed girl playfully. “Eh? Eh?”
“No!” She turned her nose up in the air primly. “I’ll have you know that Mamo-chan is a perfect gentleman!”
“Isn’t a gentleman one who always makes sure the lady cums first?” Mizuno Ami asked absently. A few seconds later, she looked up from the book she was reading, blinking at the stares she was getting. “What?” A few moments later, and she finally realized what she’d said.
Usagi grinned at the now blushing girl. “Ami-chan no ecchi.”
The doorbell broke the frozen tableau. Ami jumped up and rushed out of the room, calling, “I’ll get it!”
Rei shook her head. “Quit corrupting our friend, Minako-chan.”
“Hey! She’s always been like that.” The blonde with the big red bow looked about dramatically, and stage-whispered, “It’s always the quiet ones you know.”
Ami’s voice drifted back to the dining room table. “Setsuna-san? What are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to Usagi-chan, Ami-chan.”
Usagi stared at the tall, green-haired woman as she entered the room. “What’s up, Setsuna-san?” the girl asked apprehensively. The Senshi of Time rarely appeared with good news.
“Your Highness, I’m afraid there is a grave threat to Crystal Tokyo...”
Usagi broke into tears. “But Setsuna!” The girl whined, “You said that there weren’t any other threats until the Great Ice!”
“Damn! There goes my trip to Kyoto. And I was hoping to win the heart of some handsome actor.” Minako pouted.
“Minako-chan, the Imperial Theatre of Kyoto is an all-female acting troupe,” Ami said as she returned to the table.
As Makoto consoled the second crying blonde, Rei looked out the window. “Setsuna, what’s that?” The miko pointed out the window Ami’s apartment.
The sobbing stopped as the girls stared out of the window at the snowy white owl with a bright red envelope held in its beak. It glided through the open window, and deposited the envelope on the table, right in front of Setsuna. Written in elegant Romanji, and penned in gold ink, were the words:
Meiou Setsuna
Dining Room
Mizuno-Ke
Atsugiri Manshion
Azabu-Juuban Ko
Minato Ku
Tokyo, Japan
“Oh, my! I didn’t know you were a witch, Setsuna-san!” Usagi gushed at Setsuna, the crisis forgotten.
Setsuna looked puzzled, “Excuse, me, your Highness?” Most of the others looked equally puzzled.
“Have you ever been to Hogwarts?”
Rei pinched the bridge of her nose. “Usagi, that’s a movie.”
“Have you ever met Harry Potter?”
“That’s a movie!”
“Can I see your wand?”
“That’s a MOVIE, you idiot!”
“Ami-chan! Rei’s being mean to me again!”
Ami and Minako ignored the antics of their friends, the latter because she was watching what the former was doing. “Why are you playing with dice and muttering in Latin, Ami-chan?” The blonde asked.
The blue-haired girl pointed at the four pairs of black and white cubes, which glowed briefly. “If I remember the books correctly, that’s a ‘howler.’ If you don’t open it right away, it’ll still open... screaming it’s head off. So I took the precaution of putting up some basic wards. I don’t want my cover blown.”
When the envelope began smoking, the girls backed away from the table. “You’d better open it,” Ami said, “It’ll be quieter that way.”
Her hand shaking, Setsuna reached for the envelope. Before she could pick it up, the envelope jumped from the table, folding itself into a mouth, which screamed, “Meiou Setsuna! HOW DARE YOU! Have you forgotten our oaths?” Setsuna’s long dark-green hair whipped back from the wind coming from the screaming envelope.
Usagi, her fingers plugging her ears, asked, “What oath?”
“We DO NOT involve the Princess in our LITTLE SQUABBLES!” The paper orifice turned to Usagi and said, in a quiet, gentle voice, “You really need to eat more, Usagi-chan. If this keeps up, you’ll be nothing but skin and bones.
“That goes for all of you. Usagi is the only one who is eating even remotely healthy. You’re channeling a tremendous amount of power, which burns up a lot of calories. If it wasn’t for the healing magic of your Senshi transformation, you’d all be extremely malnourished. Don’t be too concerned about gaining weight... it’s perfectly normal, since you need those reserves. The weight you’ll gain isn’t fat, but something else. Don’t worry about not being able to enjoy the water, most people naturally compensate... though the few that don’t usually swim like a hammer.”
The disembodied lips turned towards Setsuna again, and roared, “And why haven’t you been taking care of the Princess and the others like you’re supposed to? Are you so involved in your little plots that you forget! YOU - ARE - THE - CONTEMPORARY - SENSHI - OF - TIME! It’s your DUTY to deal with the present, and let us deal with the future!”
The envelope turned to Ami, and in that same gentle voice, said, “I’m really proud of you, Ami-chan. These wards are really well done. I knew that you and Rei would be the ones to seek out training in magic, rather than wait passively to be taught it by Setsuna.”
In another 180-degree change in attitude, the animated piece of paper whirled on Sailor Pluto. “And WHY haven’t you been TRAINING these girls! If you had bothered to get OFF YOUR ASS and train them, rather than plotting to create your precious Crystal Tokyo, MAYBE the girls wouldn’t have DIED so often!”
Setsuna opened her mouth to protest, but was interrupted by the ‘Howler.’ “I don’t care if they got better, is your so-called utopia really worth putting the PRINCESS and the others through THAT KIND OF HELL? TWICE? You’re lucky that Megumi thought of using the Sailor V game so that Usagi would have at least a little bit of tactical training!”
Usagi smirked at Rei. “See... I told you that game was good practice? Didn’t I? Didn’t I?”
In a normal tone of voice, the envelope added, “You really should spend some time with your daughter.”
“Daughter?” The five younger girls shouted in disbelief as the Senshi of Time slapped her forehead.
“She loves you, and misses her mother. Family is important, Setsuna.” The envelope turned to Minako. “And speaking of family, you really should leave tomorrow for Kyoto, Minako, rather than wait for Sunday. Your wayward cousin is in Kyoto right now, and he’ll be at the Kyoto Fair on Sunday. If you want to catch up with him, you’d better be there as well. And don’t worry about her education, Ami-chan. The Imperial Theatre has hired private tutors for the girls young enough to still be in school. Minako-chan isn’t going to get any time off from school this summer.” Moments later, the envelope fell back onto the table, and burst into flame.
Ignoring the stunned Setsuna, the Inner Senshi turned towards an equally stunned Minako. Blinking, the girl said, “No cute actors... and I gotta go to school? I’m going to have to have a long talk with my agent.” The girl then smiled impishly. “At least I got a lead on my cousin!”
- + - + -
Earlier in the day, at the Tendo Dojo, a different kind of meeting had taken place.
“But Kasumi!” The Tendo Soun sobbed, “Why do you have to go to Kyoto with Akane?”
Kasumi sighed as she prepared the various bento that would be taken to school. “Because you insist that my fiancée accompany her to Kyoto,” she explained once again. “I’m not going to abandon her during her ‘groom’ training.”
Akane pouted, “And why does that... that pervert have to come with me to Kyoto? I can take care of myself!”
Kamiya Kenji sighed. Three days a woman so far, and Akane was still calling her a ‘pervert.’ The things she put up with for her fiancée...
Akane’s father assumed an all-knowing posture. “Because Kyoto is a dangerous place. You must trust my judgment on this matter.”
Nabiki paused on her way out to pick up her bento. “Thanks, Onee-chan. I’m off to school.” The second-oldest Tendo girl smirked, “I’ll see you ladies there.”
This set off a fresh round of sobbing from the youngest Tendo daughter, “But I don’t want to go to school!” Tendo Soun wept.
“Now, now, imouto-chan!” Soun winced at Kasumi’s tone. “It’s a big enough scandal that a daughter of the Tendo clan is pregnant out of wedlock.” Another wince. “I won’t have a high-school drop-out in this family as well.” Soun grimaced this time. “While you’re living under my roof, young lady, you will obey my rules. After all, Father isn’t allowed home until he repays us for his folly.” The former Tendo patriarch began to tear up. “And I want you to remember that you are to do all the housework when we’re in Kyoto, and you are not to have your boyfriend over, ever. Do I make myself clear, young lady?” Crying, Soun nodded. “Good, then off to school.”
Kasumi handed Soun one of the bento and pushed her out of the kitchen. Shaking her head, Akane picked up the remaining one and unhurriedly followed her ‘father.’
Kenji smiled as Kasumi wrapped her arms around her from behind. “Alone at last,” Kasumi said with a sigh. “Ready for more ‘training?’”
- + - + -
Tendo Nabiki took a sip of water as she watched the returned Hentai Horde assemble for the daily assault. She shook her head. She knew Kuno and his cronies were idiots, but...
The warcries began as the object of their obsession appeared. “Soun! Go out with me!” “Attack of Love!” “I love you!”
One of her classmates shook her head. “Don’t they know she’s really a forty-three-year-old man?” She stuck her tongue out in disgust.
Nabiki smirked. “They don’t care. All they care about is the rumor that she’s ‘easy.’”
“How long do you think it’s going to take for your father to figure out that there’s a reason why sperm banks don’t use kitchen refrigerators for storage?”
“I give it at least two more months,” Nabiki said, smirking. “At least Akane finally figured out that there’s a rear entrance to the school.”
- + - + -
Kagiyama Kiyoko stepped out of the love motel, glancing around to make sure she wasn’t seen by anyone from school. ‘Yumi-chan is an absolute genius,’ the succubus mused fondly. The enjo-kosei “industry” was, curiously enough, something that would’ve never occurred to her. Not only was she in a position to drain away all the sexual energy that had accumulated at the school building, thanks to the public school system, but it also opened up a whole other avenue than the more traditional brothel and street walkers. It was a point of pride that Komagata Yumi considered her skilled enough to pull of the whole ‘cute girl next door’ look.
The fifteen-year-old looking succubus shook her head. Of all the people who have summoned her, Yumi-chan, as the succubus and incubus had dubbed Shishio Makoto’s right-hand woman, was the only one who truly understood their worth. They were not fighters. She didn’t understand how anyone could mistake a succubus for a powerful engine of death. Sure, her true form had claws, but that only made her slightly more powerful than the average human being. An armed human, especially one trained in combat, probably would come out on top in a straight up fight. Succubi and incubi were seducers and spies, more suited for information gathering and the slow draining of humans of their spiritual energy, rather than warriors. Yumi-chan understood this, and used them to their best advantage.
In two years, Yumi-chan’s plan had come closer to opening a stable portal to Hell than any in the last two thousand. The recent war between the Hanagumi and the Black Sanctum Council had been the result of careful manipulation, designed to weaken the spiritual wards that protected the city that had once been the capital of Japan. A little energy expended in the right pace, at the right time, was all that was needed to rewaken the Kouma that slept under Kyoto. The resulting chaos had been the perfect cover to insert Yumi’s agents throughout the city.
Only one blemish kept Yumi-chan from being the most brilliant master she’d had, living or undead: her blind devotion to Shishio Makoto. The man may be the motivation behind Yumi’s actions, but his obsession with combat put the plan in jeopardy. The coming attack on two of the Hanagumi, no matter how dangerous the two girls were, was in her opinion foolhardy. Why draw attention to themselves unless it was absolutely necessary? Working around the Tsukigumi was hard enough.
“Kiyoko-chan? What were you doing down there?”
The succubus turned. Standing behind her, scandalized looks on their faces, were her two best friends in school. Kiyoko once again regretted Yumi-chan’s directions that she was not to “corrupt” or seduce any of the children at school. The two girls were positively scrumptious. But Yumi-chan was correct that such activities might draw the attention of the Moon Division.
Pity that she wouldn’t tell Shishio-sama the same thing.
Affecting an innocent expression, Kiyoko explained, “I was taking a shortcut.”
Hanamori Megumi shook her head. “You’ve got to be more careful, Kiyoko-chan. What if some pervert had seen you there? Or the boys from school. You don’t want to get a reputation, do you?”
‘Hell yes!’ Kiyoko thought. But then, such a reputation could tempt her to take more energy than was wise, drawing unwelcome attention. Better to be slow and sure. “Alright, Megumi-chan. I’ll be more careful in the future.”
The three girls continued walking down street. After a few minutes, Yamano Atsuko began looked over her shoulder. “I think someone’s following us.”
“See Kiyoko? Good thing we’re here, or he’d probably try something.”
Kiyoko turned and looked at the dark figure that was following them. She felt a chill run down her spine, as their shadow’s way of walking triggered some vague memory. Whatever was following them was dangerous, and it wasn’t human. Her concern deepened as she realized that the streets were deserted. Concern morphed into panic as the figure behind them increased its pace.
“Girls... run!”
“Wha?”
“Kiyoko-chan?”
The succubus shoved them forward. “RUN!”
Kiyoko briefly entertained the thought of outrunning her two schoolmates. It would be easy enough, but the thought of Yumi-chan’s displeasure at such a tactic kept her from doing so. Oddly enough, she realized that it wasn’t just Yumi-chan’s displeasure that kept her from using her two friends to escape. Kiyoko was shocked to realize that she’d developed real feelings for the pair.
The trio of girls came to a stop at a truck blocking the narrow street. They turned and faced the shadowy figure that had chased them, as the two human girls screamed for help. Kiyoko knew it was useless. She could feel the power emanating from their stalker muffling their screams.
Moments later, a ruby-red glow filled the street.
- + - + -
Ranma, formally of the Saotome clan, waited patiently for the two young women to get ready to go to the fair today. He was wearing a dark colored, yukata, a scarlet dragon climbing up the back and over the right shoulder. He’d never considered acting to be hard work. Between physical conditioning, dance practice, and singing practice, he’d been getting almost as good a workout as martial arts. Add martial arts and tutoring to the mix, and he was definitely ready for a day off.
Of course, the company he’d be spending that day off with would definitely make the day enjoyable. Iris Chateaubriand was a delightful kid. Her natural abilities did make her a bit arrogant, but then she had every right to be. Shinguji Sakura, on the other hand, usually exhibited the quite confidence that Ranma himself was trying to cultivate. Her occasional bouts of uncertainty were simply part of her charm.
“Yen for your thoughts?” Sakura asked as she walked down the grand staircase of the Imperial Theatre. As ever, she was dressed in her cross between a kimono and the hakama/keikogi of a kendoist, the long sleeves of her pink top decorated in sakura petals.
Ranma smiled. “Just wondering what kami I’ve pleased to have the privilage of escorting you and Iris to the fair today.”
“Aren’t you Smooth-kun today,” Sakura said, blushing.
Ranma shrugged. “I’ve been ground and polished a bit the last two weeks. Maria’s a hard taskmaster.”
“Yeah. Oh, I’ve got something for you!” Sakura fished for something tucked into her obi.
“What?”
“Ta da!” The pony-tailed girl presented a card to Ranma. “It’s your license to carry.”
Ranma took the card, turning it in his hand. On one side were kanji declaring that he was licensed to carry a sword. Below the kanji were a number of seals: the Imperial Family’s, Nihon’s state seal, and that of the Imperial Combat Troupe. On the reverse was a picture of him, which changed into her depending upon the viewing angle. Included on the card were his (and her) vital statistics.
“Thanks. Where’s Iris?”
“Here I am, Onee-chan! Onii-san!” Rather than her customary frilly dress, she was wearing shorts, a t-shirt, and tennis shoes. The girl’s long, blonde hair was hidden underneath a baseball cap. As usual, her teddy bear Jean-Paul was in her arms.
((Author’s Note: Warning - Google Translation ahead.))
“Bonjour, mademoiselle,” Ranma said, bowing to Iris. “Comment allez-vous?”
Iris blinked in surprised, before saying excitedly, “Très bien. Et tu?”
“Bien. Pourquoi portez-vous ces vêtements?”
Sakura blinked at the pair chatting in what she assumed was French.
“Les gens me suivent quand la grande soeur et moi sortent, ainsi je porte un déguisement.”
“Je comprends.”
“YOU speak French?” Ranma turned towards an incredulous looking Kanzaki Sumire. Behind the girl, Maria Tachibana and Kirishima Kanna were failing to conceal their laughter.
Ranma smirked at Sumire. “Naturellement. Pas chacun?”
Rather than walking off in a huff, Sumire looked at Ranma with an expression that Sakura and Iris really didn’t like. “Well... have fun on your little ‘date’ you three.” She turned and walked away with an extra sway to her hips.
“You keep your claws off of him, Sumire!” Sakura shouted after the heir of Kanzaki Heavy Industries, much to the amusement of the two older women.
“Yeah!” Iris added.
Ranma, meanwhile, was pounding his head against one of the pillars in the lobby. Humoring a twelve-year-old girl’s crush was one thing. The last thing he wanted was another Nerima-type rivalry between the two of the teen-aged members of the Hanagumi.
That’s when Li Kohran walked into the lobby, staring at a clipboard and chewing absently at the end of a pencil. She walked up behind Ranma and, ignoring the looks the other girls were giving her, began taking Ranma’s measurements.
“Um... Kohran? What are you doing?” He tried to ignore Iris and Sakura’s glare. Something told him that Kohran didn’t need to take that many measurements for whatever she was doing. “Hey!” He was fairly certain that wasn’t how you measured an inseam.
“Measuring. Change please.” She said, jotting down some numbers and handing him a glass of water. The two other girl’s expression changed to puzzlement, causing Ranma to shrug as he dumped the glass over his head. Kohran took a second set of measurements of the now-female Ranma, jotting down more figures before she handed Ranma a thermos. The Chinese girl walked out of the lobby, oblivious to the stares she was receiving.
Turning to his companions for the day, Ranma asked, “Well... ready to go?”
- + - + -
After two false starts, one for Sakura to retrieve her sword, and one for Iris to change into a t-shirt that made her look less like a boy, the trio were off to the fair. “Um... Iris?” Sakura asked, “Where did you get that T-Shirt?”
“I borrowed it from Tsubaki-kun.”
- + - + -
Meanwhile, the older two members of the Kazegumi were trying to console their sixteen year old comrade.
“Waah! I have the figure of a twelve year old!”
“Well,” the blonde Yuri said, “She is European. They are a bit bigger and bustier than most Japanese girls are.”
Fujii Kasumi shook her head. They weren’t having much luck.
- + - + -
After a couple of blocks, Ranma noticed a small, though growing, crowd behind them. He didn’t like the mood of the crowd either.
“Don’t pay attention to them, Ranma,” Sakura said as she walked beside the bow. “They’re just Iris’ fans. I guess they recognized her.”
Iris, on the other side of Ranma, giggled as she tried to find the courage to hold Ranma’s hand. “They’re not my fans. They’re Sakura’s fans... and they don’t like that she’s out with a boy.” Seeing Sakura’s shocked expression, Iris giggled again. “Maybe Onee-chan should wear a disguise too?”
Ranma sighed. “One of these days I’d like to spend the whole day at a fair male.”
Sakura glanced at Ranma, puzzled.
Ranma favored her with a resigned smile. “Instant disguise, just add water,” he explained.
Iris giggled. “On three, Onee-chan?” The girl whispered.
“Yes... do you want to carry Iris, Ranma?”
“Sure.”
“Good... one... two...” Sakura turned around, and bowed to the crowd. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I regret to inform you, THREE!”
She turned and ran for the nearest alley, Ranma following close behind her as he carried Iris in his arms. The male martial artist tried to ignore the kid laughing and going “Whee!” The pair of martial artists jumped a tall fence, leaving the pursuing crowd behind.
A few minutes later, a now female Ranma was busy adjusting the fit of her yakuta. Linking arms with the taller girl on her right and the shorter girl on the left, Ranma smiled and said, “Let’s go to the fair!”
- + - + -
The Kyoto Fair was a huge amusement park. There were plenty of rides to go onto, shows to watch, games to play, and food to eat. The three girls ran from one thrill ride to another, screaming in mock-terror on several roller coasters and one merry-go-round, much to Iris’ amusement and the confusion of some children.
Giggling like the schoolgirl she resembled, Ranma leaned towards Iris and whispered, “Do you see anything you like in that booth?” Iris turned to look where Ranma was pointing, and saw a “Guess your weight” game.
“I like that necklace, Onii-chan.”
“Then I’ll see if I can win it for you, Iris,” Ranma said with a wink. Iris watched as Ranma joined the line of people waiting for their turn.
- + - + -
Yamada Ichiro had been running the “Guess your Weight” booth at various fairs around the country for five years now. He had gotten very good at estimating people’s weight, so when he saw the red-head standing in line, he decided to score some points with her, allowing her to win some stuffed animal or something. She was with two other girls, so she was probably available, and he was nearing the end of his shift. If he could get on her good side...
The girl passed an ornate pole, allowing him to determine that her height was about 147 centimeters. The light yukata did nothing to hide the girl’s stunning figure, so he calculated that the girl weighed about 43-44 kilograms. He then subtracted two kilograms from her weight. She would be flattered that he thought she was so slender, and it would allow her choice of some cheap, stuffed animal.
Ichiro subconsciously subtracted an extra kilogram from his estimate when she began to subtly flirt with him. Declaring to the watching audience that, “the pretty girl couldn’t weigh more than 40 kilos,” he permitted her to step on the scale. His jaw dropped when the scale passed 40, skipped over 45, and landed firmly at 61 kilograms. Seeing his expression, she casually removed her yukata and dropped it off to the side. Much to his disappointment, and many of the men in the crowd, she had black tights, slippers, and a red tank-top underneath. Much to his great disappointment, and the crowd’s amusement, it only dropped her weight by half a kilo. After getting dressed again, she claimed her prize, an expensive necklace with a crystal teddy bear charm on it.
Any hope of earning points was crushed when the necklace went around the neck of the younger girl in the group, earning the redhead a kiss on the cheek. The taller girl also gave the redhead girl an appreciative kiss as well. Ichiro found out later that the redhead decimated the gaming booths at the fair, winning expensive prizes for her companions.
He wasn’t sure why, but he suddenly wondered if that girl had a pig-tailed cousin in Tokyo...
- + - + -
As the three girls enjoyed their day off, they were unaware that unfriendly eyes were watching their every move. “Why don’t we just attack and get it over with, Usui?” Honjo Kamatari whined as... he... pouted cutely. He was wearing a very cute, and feminine, yukata. Thanks to an enchantment, his weapon looked just like a necklace with a very odd looking charm. Usui refused to speculate on how the man created the illusion of cleavage.
“We weren’t expecting them to have company. We should wait until we are able to assess her threat level.”
“It’s just Kirishima Kanna. She isn’t that much of a threat to any of us.”
“It’s not Kirishima Kanna,” Maul whispered from beneath his hood. Usui wasn’t sure why the heavily cloaked demon wasn’t attracting any attention, but he wasn’t about to look a gift-horse in the mouth.
“How many red headed martial artists do you think there are in Kyoto, who just happen to know the Hanagumi, Maul-chan?”
“She’s too short, and her figure isn’t muscular enough.”
“I’ve always said the data we had on her was exaggerated. Japanese women don’t grow to be two meters tall.”
“It’s not Kirishima.”
“Is too.”
“Is not.”
“Is too.”
“Would you two shut up?” Usui glared at the pair, his mismatched eyes glinting like agates. “It doesn’t matter who she is, she’ll die like the other two. Let’s get close. Kamatari, you take the redhead. I’ll take Shinguji, and Maul will take little Iris.”
“I can’t,” Maul whispered.
“What?”
“The girl is too young, and if we attack now, innocents might be harmed.”
Kamatari rolled his eyes towards the sky. “You’re a demon, Maul-chan. You shouldn’t care about the girl’s age or innocents getting caught in the crossfire.”
“Nether the less, I am as I am.”
Uonuma Usui asked himself, for the third time today, whether truly joining Shishio was worth his new eyes and a new lease on “life.” All he needed was for Iwanbo to show up again, and he’d go back to hell and throw himself into the burning pit Shishio had pulled him out of. Dealing with “Little Naughtykin’s” prized demon and Scythe-chan was more torture than he could bear some times.
“Why on earth would you set our pet demon,” Kamatari ignored Maul’s growl at being called a ‘pet,’ “on the youngest anyways? Shinguji has got to be the greatest threat, isn’t she?”
Usui’s explanation was interrupted by a young girl shouting, “Jean-Paul!”
- + - + -
Sakura and Ranma were sitting on a bench, waiting for Iris to fetch some ice-cream cones. “I’m getting confused,” Ranma said. “Does Iris have a crush on me? Or is she playing matchmaker between the two of us?”
Sakura smiled. “A little of both, I believe.” The girl waved at Iris in the line for the ice-cream booth.
Ranma turned towards Sakura when a crowd of fairgoers blocked her view. “Why did you tell Iris to choose your flavor?”
“Because I don’t like ice-cream.”
“Sacrilege.”
Sakura stuck out her tongue, grimacing. “It tastes nice enough, but afterwards my tummy always hurts...”
A young girl shouted, “Jean-Paul!”
Sakura blinked. That didn’t sound like Iris. Ranma began swearing.
“Give me back Jean-Paul!”
That did sound like Iris.
A dark look on her face, Ranma stood up. “Come on. I am so glad I got over that ‘don’t hit female martial artists’ thing. I’m gonna rearrange that klepto’s face.”
Behind the crowd, the first voice shouted out, “Jean-Paul is Azusa’s Jean-Paul, and he wants to go home with Mommy.”
Sakura began pushing their way through the watching crowd. “Oh, excuse me. Please, let me through. Pardon me.” She wasn’t having much luck.
Ranma was much more successful making her way through. She wasn’t interested in politeness. She had an annoying airhead to pummel, and it didn’t take the onlookers too long to figure out it wasn’t a good idea to get in her way.
“GIVE ME BACK JEAN-PAUL!” The force of Iris’ cry cracked the sidewalk a good meter around her. It knocked over the onlookers and Sakura, staggered Ranma, and cracked the glass windows within at least thirty meters. Shiratori Azusa, light brown hair a mess, and her overly cute outfit looking almost ready to fall off her body, trembling handed the amazingly unscathed teddy bear back to the blonde French girl.
- + - + -
Usui turned towards the stunned crossdresser. “Any other dumb questions?”
- + - + -
After a light lunch, Ranma say Sakura’s eyes light up. Following her gaze, she saw that there was a Karaoke contest about to start. “Oh, let’s play.”
Iris rolled her eyes. “Onee-chan, we’re professionals.”
“We don’t have to compete to play, Iris-chan. And Ranma’s an amateur...”
Iris nodded, “That’s true.”
Ranma began to sweatdrop, “Leave me out of this.”
The redhead took a step back as the two girls unleashed their dual “cute puppy-dog eyes” attack. “Alright... I’ll play.”
The two girls cheered.
- + - + -
Ten minutes later, the trio of girls was waiting in line, disks holding their selected songs in their hands. Sakura, an impish grin gracing her face, suddenly said, “Hey, I know what would be fun.”
Iris turned to look at the girl behind her, “What would, onee-chan?” Ranma, behind Sakura, began to have a bad feeling about the whole thing.
“Why don’t we trade songs? That way, we’d all be singing something we normally wouldn’t.”
Iris shrugged, “Why not.” The French girl looked around Sakura at Ranma. “Onii-chan?”
The bad feeling upgraded to Defcon 2. “Alright. Who sings what?”
Sakura thought for a second, before asking, “Iris, would you like to sing Ranma’s or my song.”
“Yours, onee-chan!”
Sakura handed Iris her disk. “OK, you give Ranma your song, and I’ll take Ranma’s.”
Several disks changed hands, and the three girls looked at labels on the disks.
Ranma sweatdropped when she saw the title. “Don’t tell me, Iris, you’re a Sailor V fan.” An excited looking Iris nodded vigorously.
Sakura looked at the disk in her hand in horror. “This... this is in English.”
Seeing the less than enthused expression on her companions, Iris looked at her own disk. Seeing the title, she whined, “Onee-chan...”
Sakura didn’t notice. “Ranma... why did you chose a song in English?”
Ranma shrugged, “My English is finally good enough to do that song justice.” Her gaze returned morosely to the song in her head. “Iris, I don’t suppose you’d let me sing the ending theme from this movie, would you?”
Iris affected a hurt look. “But I like that song!”
Sakura still didn’t notice. She was still panicking over Ranma’s song selection. “Ranma... can’t I do a different song?”
Ranma smirked, “Only if Iris lets me do a different one.”
Iris looked at Sakura, who was staring at her with cute puppy-dog eyes. She turned to Ranma, who was turning on her own overly-cute, optimistic expression. “Will Sakura-onee-chan also choose a different song?”
Sakura’s expression turned tragic briefly. “But I like that song!”
Iris wasn’t about to change her song. Iris decided to fight fire with fire.
The employee in charge of the Karaoke machine and several male contestants had the privalege of witnessing the first ever Anything Goes Cute Puppy-Dog Eyes contest. It wasn’t much of a contest, unfortunately. Iris had the advantage of not only being a child, but in Ranma’s case, female. The two older teens didn’t have a chance.
Neither did the men, who passed out from an overdose of cute.
- + - + -
Iris strode onto the stage, microphone in hand. The music had been loaded, and the lyrics were ready to scroll across the screen near the floor at the edge of the stage. She didn’t need the prompter, of course. She was very familiar with Sakura’s favorite song. She just considered it to be hugely immodest to be one’s biggest fan.
As the opening fanfare began to play, and the audience began cheering when they realized who was performing, and what she’d be performing, Iris prepared to sing a song she’d sworn she’d never perform in public:
Hikisaita yami ga hoe furueru teito ni
ai no uta takaraka ni odorideru senshi-tachi
- + - + -
Aino Minako was a woman on a mission. Somewhere in the Kyoto Fair was her cousin, Ranma. As a woman on a mission, she had to dress the part. Which explained why she was wearing an outfit from the hero of a pulp detective novel. She skulked through the grounds, looking for a familiar face. She was quite proud of the fact that she had managed to avoid the temptation of the various rides and games around her.
However, the huge volume of cheering, and several cries of “We love you, Iris!” coming from the Karaoke contest attracted her attention. Wondering what on earth could provoke that reaction, she climbed quickly to a walkway that overlooked the amphitheatre where the contest was taking place. There, she saw a young, blonde, Caucasian girl singing in Japanese.
inochi sae koutetsu ni chikaiau otome
aku wo kirisutete seigi wo shimesu no da
hashire kousoku no teikoku kagekidan
unare shougeki no teikoku kagekidan
Turning towards one of the onlookers, Minako asked, “Wow... she’s popular. Who is she?”
The young man looked surprised at her ignorance. “That is one of the angels of the Imperial Theatre, young Iris Chateaubriand.”
Minako blinked in surprise. Maybe she should introduce herself after the girl finished her song. They’d be working together, after all.
Iris finished her song, bowing to the excited audience. A girl in an odd looking kimono with a pink top and blue bottom replaced young Iris. “Sugoi! Shinguji Sakura’s going to be singing too! This is incredible!” The young man leaned dangerously over the railing in an effort to get a closer look.
Minako heard Sakura hesitantly address the excited crowd. “I’m not very fluent in English yet, so I hope you’ll forgive me if I don’t do this song justice...”
There's a vision in your heart
Only you can achieve
You can climb the highest mountains
If you only believe
‘She’s not bad... the accent is very noticeable, but her English is better than Rei’s, I think. She doesn’t quite have a handle on the difference between “R” and “L” yet.’ Minako thought critically. ‘Not a bad singer, either. It’s obvious she’s been trained, but I believe she’s still rather new to this. Of course, so am I.’
The teen finished to wild applause. Blushing, the girl bowed, then addressed the audience. “And now, it’s my pleasure to announce the Kyoto debut of a friend of ours. If you’re very friendly, we might be able to coax him onto stage later.” The crowd chuckled politely. “Everyone, I give you, Ranma!”
Minako straightened up in surprise as a curvy redhead stepped onto stage. Against all odds, she’d found her cousin! The girl smiled as Ranma pretended to glare at the two actresses waiting at the side of the stage. “Sakura-chan?”
“Yes, Ranma-chan?”
“I want you to remember one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Two o-clock, tomorrow.”
“Eep!” Ponytail standing impossibly on end, the older girl ducked behind the younger one, pushing the blonde forward. “Iris chose the song!”
A second later, and the blonde was behind her friend, pushing the brunette forward, “But it was your idea to swap songs in the first place!”
The crowd obviously thought this was hilarious, and it took a few moments to stop laughing at the antics of the girls on stage. Signaling the guy off stage, Ranma raised the microphone as the music began to play.
kami ga sora ni moeagaru
karada ga honoo no you yo
Minako blinked. It was the battle-theme from the third Sailor V movie. She loved that song. Though Ranma was clearly unhappy with the song she was singing, her cousin was at least doing it justice.
nee watashi-tachi yarukkyanai ne
onna no ko no junjou misete yaru no yo
nani ga nan de mo ganbaranakutcha
mune ni chikau ai no senshi yo
Ignoring the young man who was gushing over what a looker her cousin was, Minako hurried to get to the exit from the stage. She didn’t want her cousin to get away.
- + - + -
Bowing to the crowd, Ranma made her way off stage. Seeing the worried looks Iris and Sakura were giving her, she smiled reassuringly. Sure, the song was embarrassingly girly, but it could’ve been worse. Iris could’ve selected the opening theme of “Sailor Stars.”
“Well, what next? We’re close to the Rails of Death.”
Iris looked down at her feet, “Onii-chan? You’re not upset about the song, are you?”
“Nah... life’s too short to hold a grudge longer than 24 hours.”
That earned another “Eep!” from Sakura. Ranma’s grin didn’t reassure the Kendo-ka much either. It was far too predatory.
Ranma held that grin until she couldn’t keep from laughing at Sakura’s panicked expression. Iris started laughing as well, which in turn infected Sakura, who began to chuckle ruefully. This lasted until a young blonde girl wearing shades, a trenchcoat, and a battered fedora slid up behind Ranma, covering the redhead’s eyes with an impish grin and a “Guess who?”
“Mika?”
The girl grinned. “Nope!”
“Akiko?”
“Nope!”
“Daigo? Akie? Midori? Natsuko?”
“Nope, nope, nope!”
Sakura and Iris glared at Ranma. He’s had that many girlfriends? So many that he couldn’t even guess who this was was? And the girl seemed happy about it?
The oddly-dressed blonde, grinning like a maniac, shouted out, “Wai! My cousin’s so manly!” The two Hanagumi found themselves kissing the pavement.
“Minako-chan!”
- + - + -
“She’s your cousin?” Sakura asked, slightly relieved.
Ranma nodded. “Yep. So, what are you doing in Kyoto, Minako-chan?” They’d managed to find a rather isolated part of the park for their talk.
“Well, for the next two months, I’ll be at the Imperial Theatre...”
“You’re one of the actresses that’s supposed to be joining us temporarily?” Iris didn’t miss the emphasis on the last word.
Minako apparently did. “Yep. My agent arranged it. I came early because I’d heard that Ranma was in Kyoto, so I could give him this!” The blonde reached into a pocked of her trenchcoat, and pulled out a scroll.
Puzzled, Ranma unrolled it and read its contents, Iris and Sakura looking over her shoulder. After a few seconds, Ranma began glancing from Minako and the scroll, clearly confused.
Minako began to look worried, “What’s wrong?”
Sakura began reading out loud from the scroll, “ ‘Kako-chan. Your lips are like honey... come, let me taste of them?’ ‘Oh, Seiko-chan?’ What’s that picture supposed to be of, anyway?”
Iris stated, “I don’t get it.”
Ranma turned the scroll 180 degrees.
Sakura, blushing madly, covered Iris eyes with a startled, “Oh, my goodness!”
“Eep! Wrong scroll.” Minako hurriedly grabbed the scroll from Ranma’s hand, replacing it with another from her trenchcoat.
Ranma read the second scroll. “Aunt and Uncle Jino are willing to adopt me?”
Grinning, Minako nodded.
“Why not your parents?”
“Because of Artemis, my cat.”
Jumping slightly, Ranma said, “Ah.”
Minako leaned into Ranma. “So, why exactly are you in the company of two rather beautiful, young actresses? And why did it sound like you’re involved with the Imperial Theatre?”
“I’ve been training some of them.”
“In what, martial arts?”
“Yes.”
Minako turned to the two actresses. “What did you guys need to study martial arts for?”
Sakura smiled, “The Imperial Theatre is also the home of the Imperial Combat Troupe. Our primary mission is to deal with the Kouma, evil spirits that sometimes threaten the city.”
“You guys are all warriors?”
“Everyone, don’t think of an elephant.”
“Huh?” The other three girls stared at Ranma due to her rather unusual non-sequitor.
“There’s three rather dangerous individuals trying to surround us. I don’t think they mean us well. Iris, I want you to grab Minako and teleport her back to the Theatre, then get Maria, Kana, and Sumire and teleport back here. Sakura and I will try to lead them to somewhere we can fight without endangering anyone.”
Minako hesitated, “But...”
“Yes, onii-chan!”
As covertly as possible, Sakura began to loosen the drawstrings of the bag concealing her sword. The three menacing individuals began to close, weapons mysteriously appearing in their hands. The woman wielded a huge chain scythe. One of the man had produced a large shield resembling a tortoise shell and a short polearm. The last man, who somehow had managed to be inconspicuous despite the heavy cloak and hood he was wearing, produced a weapon that sent a shiver of fear down her spine. Somehow, Ranma knew that being hit with that thing would not be in her best interests.
“Sakura, I think you’d better concentrate on the girl. That one in the cloak is a demon, and I think the one with the shield is the one who has been slaughtering yakuza. I’ve got a technique that’s good for multiple opponents, and I’m better suited to fight demons than you are.”
“Right.”
Minako began to gnaw on her lower lip as young Iris began edging close to her. She wasn’t sure what, exactly, was happening, but two things were obvious: her cousin and the others were in trouble, and secret identities really sucked at times.
Next chapter teaser:
“Hi, Aino Minako here. I can’t believe I’m about to be teleported to safety. Me! Sailor Venus! And three of the Juppongatana are closing in on my family and his friends, and there’s a demon on the prowl. THIS SUCKS! How will I save the day from across town? Turn in next time for, ‘The Juppongatana Strike!’ The next chapter of Rurouni Ranma!”
Author’s Notes:
Again, my apologies for not getting back to this fic sooner. I was having too much fun playing CIV: Warlords, trying to fix my original fanfic (this one was originally my writer’s block story), and reading other people’s fics.

[Light02]

cool an update I was wondering when this was gonna come around. as for any grammer and stuff I couldn't really tell anything bad but then again English is my sore spot.

[Innortal]

Not bad.
Though at the end, I almost expected Minako to make some comment about Ranma in a sexual way.

[Tovath]

Where can I find the earlyer chapters of this

[Seraphim]

You can find it here: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/425308/
or www.fanfiction.net/~darkfyre99

[DarkFyre99]

Innortal,
Thanks for the catch. The last scene didn't come out quite the way I wanted it, especially one part, so here's take two:
________________
The oddly dressed blonde, grinning like a maniac, shouted out, “Wai! My cousin’s so manly!” The two Hanagumi found themselves kissing the pavement.
“Minako-chan!” Ranma turned around and gave the taller girl a big hug.
- + - + -
“She’s your cousin?” Sakura asked, slightly relieved.
Ranma nodded. “Yep. So, what are you doing in Kyoto, Minako-chan?” They’d managed to find a rather isolated part of the park for their talk.
“Well, for the next two months, I’ll be at the Imperial Theatre...”
“You’re one of the actresses that’s supposed to be joining us temporarily?” Sakura asked. Iris didn’t miss the emphasis on the last word.
Minako apparently did. “Yep. My agent arranged it. I came early because I’d heard that Ranma was in Kyoto, so I could give him this!” The blonde reached into a pocked of her trenchcoat, and pulled out a scroll.
Puzzled, Ranma unrolled it and read its contents, Iris and Sakura looking over her shoulder. After a few seconds, Ranma began glancing from Minako and the scroll, clearly confused.
Minako began to look worried, “What’s wrong?”
Sakura began reading out loud from the scroll, “ ‘Kako-chan. Your lips are like honey... come, let me taste of them?’ ‘Oh, Seiko-chan?’ What’s that picture supposed to be of, anyway?”
Iris stated, “I don’t get it.”
Ranma turned the scroll 180 degrees.
Sakura, blushing madly, covered Iris eyes with a startled, “Oh, my goodness!”
“Eep! Wrong scroll. That’s a page from a doujinshi I’ve been working on.” Blushing, Minako hurriedly grabbed the scroll from Ranma’s hand, replacing it with another from her trenchcoat.
Ranma read the second scroll. “Aunt and Uncle Jino are willing to adopt me?”
Grinning, Minako nodded.
“Why not your parents?”
“Because of Artemis, my cat.”
Jumping slightly, Ranma said, “Ah.”
Minako leaned into Ranma. “So, why exactly are you in the company of two rather beautiful, young actresses? And why did it sound like you’re involved with the Imperial Theatre?”
“I’ve been training some of them.”
“In what, martial arts?”
“Yes.”
Minako turned to the two actresses. “What did you guys need to study martial arts for?”
Sakura smiled, “The Imperial Theatre is also the home of the Imperial Combat Troupe. Our primary mission is to deal with the Kouma, evil spirits that sometimes threaten the city.”
“You guys are all warriors?”
“Everyone, don’t think of an elephant.”
Sakura and Iris stared at Ranma due to her rather unusual non-sequitor. The older blonde blushed for some reason, glancing at Ranma’s lap.
“There’s three rather dangerous individuals trying to surround us. I don’t think they mean us well. Iris, I want you to grab Minako and teleport her back to the Theatre, then get Maria, Kana, and Sumire and teleport back here. Sakura and I will try to lead them to somewhere we can fight without endangering anyone.”
Minako hesitated, “But...”
“Yes, onii-chan!”
As covertly as possible, Sakura began to loosen the drawstrings of the bag concealing her sword. The three menacing individuals began to close, weapons mysteriously appearing in their hands. The woman wielded a huge chain scythe. One of the men had produced a large shield resembling a tortoise shell and a short polearm. The last man, who somehow had managed to be inconspicuous despite the heavy cloak and hood he was wearing, produced a weapon that sent a shiver of fear down her spine. Somehow, Ranma knew that being hit with that thing would not be in her best interests.
“Sakura, I think you’d better concentrate on the girl. That one in the cloak is a demon, and I think the one with the shield is the one who has been slaughtering yakuza. I’ve got a technique that’s good for multiple opponents, and I’m better suited to fight demons than you are.”
“Right.”
Minako began to gnaw on her lower lip as young Iris began edging close to her. She wasn’t sure what, exactly, was happening, but two things were obvious: her cousin and the others were in trouble, and secret identities really sucked at times.

[Innortal]

Much better. The only thing left is for Minako's announcement of the next installment. Could even have Makoto doing a voice over complaining that she shouldn't be doing that with family, to have Minako respond "You're just jealous that you aren't here. NYAH!"

[TerraBull]

One thing that I may have noticed, when did Minako learn of Ranma's Girl form? I mean that Ranma has one is not obvious, Ranma was a girl as she came off the stage, did Ranma tell Minako so that they both recognized one another? Just wondering if I missed it.
*Lol* Still laughing at the advice Minako was told, then asked to forget.
"Cousin sex is the best kind!"
Does this mean all of the Senshi will still attempt to get togther with him? Michiru and Haruka?
Where is Yohko? Will she arrive just in time for the fight
The part where it has these words sadly has me lost, not knowing the source background, or what part of the story it is from, it does sound like it belongs though..

This set off a fresh round of sobbing from the youngest Tendo daughter, “But I don’t want to go to school!” Tendo Soun wept.
“Now, now, imouto-chan!” Soun winced at Kasumi’s tone. “It’s a big enough scandal that a daughter of the Tendo clan is pregnant out of wedlock.” Another wince. “I won’t have a high-school drop-out in this family as well.” Soun grimaced this time. “While you’re living under my roof, young lady, you will obey my rules. After all, Father isn’t allowed home until he repays us for his folly.” The former Tendo patriarch began to tear up. “And I want you to remember that you are to do all the housework when we’re in Kyoto, and you are not to have your boyfriend over, ever. Do I make myself clear, young lady?” Crying, Soun nodded. “Good, then off to school.”
Kasumi handed Soun one of the bento and pushed her out of the kitchen. Shaking her head, Akane picked up the remaining one and unhurriedly followed her ‘father.’

Why is Soun going to school? Someone is pregnant? former Tendo patriarch? Soun has a Boyfriend? I do admit, it sounds noticable.
Hmmm.. what happened to Kagiyama Kiyoko and her 2 friends, it sounded bad for them..
Nice touch with Ranma being Licensed to carry a Sword, Hologram I.D. Card?
Any other groups that may try to converge on the area where Ranma is?

[Innortal]

Yeah, you might need to delve a bit more into the Soun-chan bit.

[J. St.C. Patrick]

An enjoyable chapter.
noticed a few minor things:

Usagi is the only one who is eating even remotely healthy

healthily
or
healthy food

Ranma, formally of the Saotome clan, waited patiently for the two young women to get ready to go to the fair today.

formerly

Ranma smiled. “Just wondering what kami I’ve pleased to have the privilage of escorting you and Iris to the fair today.”

privilege

There were plenty of rides to go onto, shows to watch, games to play, and food to eat.

on

A few minutes later, a now female Ranma was busy adjusting the fit of her yakuta.

yukata

The blonde reached into a pocked of her trenchcoat, and pulled out a scroll.

pocket

Sakura began reading out loud from the scroll, “ ‘Kako-chan. Your lips are like honey... come, let me taste of them?’ ‘Oh, Seiko-chan?’ What’s that picture supposed to be of, anyway?”

heh

[Dumbledork]

Another nice chapter although I'm still against akane joining the others. Oh well, I'm not the author. Here's some help with the French text:
personal pronouns. When you're using a polite form the personal pronouns are written with capital letters. In this case "Vous" instead of "vous".
"Et tu?". "Tu" is a very casual way of adressing another person. And as Ranma is very polite in the previous sentence and if I'm right older than Iris she needs to give a polite answer. "Tu" is generally used for family, children among themselves, colleagues and grown ups talking to children. In this case you should rather write "Et Vous-même?" Generally you don't use a pronoun alone to answer such a question.
"la grande soeur". In this case Iris probably means her older sister. In that case you should use the possessive pronoun "ma" instead of "la". If you write "la" you mean someone else's sister.
"Pas chacun?". Should that be the translation of "doesn't everyone?". There really isn't a short translation for that one, you have to paraphrase, e.g.: "Est-ce que ce n'est pas le cas pour chacun?".

[DarkFyre99]

Thanks for the feedback everyone, especially on the French. It's much appreciated.
It seems I need a bit of exposition on the Tendo family's new powerstructure, since it has been quite a while since the end of the second chapter. And so, an expanded balcony scene:
_______________
From her place on the balcony of her classroom, Tendo Nabiki took a sip of water as she watched the returned Hentai Horde assemble for the daily assault. She smiled, shaking her head. She knew Kuno and his cronies were idiots, but...
The warcries began as the object of their obsession appeared. “Soun! Go out with me!” “Attack of Love!” “I love you!”
One of her classmates shook her head. “Don’t they know she’s really a forty-three-year-old man?” She stuck her tongue out in disgust.
Nabiki smirked. “They don’t care. All they care about is the rumor that she’s ‘easy.’”
Another one laughed as Soun was dogpiled by three members of the hockey club. “I can’t believe your father is going through with this...”
“I can’t believe your sister Kasumi suggested it in the first place.”
Nabiki smiled fondly. “There are depths unplumbed in onee-chan. Her take-over of the Tendo family belongs in a textbook. I just about died laughing when she pulled out that package and told him, ‘If you want to have Ranma’s child, do it yourself.’” Nabiki said, imitating her sister flawlessly. "Remind me not to get on her badside."
The girls of class 3-C watched the chaos below. “So, how long do you think it’s going to take for your father to figure out that there’s a reason why sperm banks don’t use kitchen refrigerators for storage?” The first girl asked.
“I give it at least two more months,” Nabiki said, smirking. “At least Akane finally figured out that there’s a rear entrance to the school.”

[TerraBull]

So how much money did Soun Spend on it? He locked himself as a Female to be Pregnant? And Put the Sperm in the Refrigerator?...
Just wondering if I read it right..

[Ion-chan]

wait a sec how...the hell did...when....
DAMN IT somebody give me a link so i CAN FIGURE THIS OUT!

[DarkFyre99]

So how much money did Soun Spend on it?

Enough for Kasumi to kick him out of the house until he (or Genma) paid the family back. Assuming Soun and Genma were the "two idiots [who] came to the auction together, and started bidding against each other for the last lot," he and Genma apparently paid enough for Ranma to have enough spending cash to buy a nice suit and take a date to an expensive restaurant and a play in Tokyo.

He locked himself as a Female to be Pregnant?

None of his daughters were willing to get pregnant without the fun of getting that way, and Kasumi for some reason had instant girl powder and waterproof soap...

And Put the Sperm in the Refrigerator?...
Just wondering if I read it right..

You read it right. This is, after all, Soun and Genma we're talking about.