Sailor Moon NGE: continuing the Tryouts

[Innortal]

Sailor Moon NGE
Disclaimer: I don’t own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.
I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.
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“You know what I hate about being a Senshi,” asked Misato, still in her Sailor Venus form, as they had gathered back at her apartment after killing the Fourteenth Youma ... I mean, Angel.
It wasn’t exactly a fair fight. Rei—a.k.a. Sailor Moon—used her most powerful attack to shoot the Angel while its back was turned.
This opened the door for Asuka—a.k.a. Sailor Mars—to start throwing her flame attacks at it, followed by her uttering a single phrase. “Man, I love the smell of cooking Angel in the morning.”
And thus, Tuxedo Kamen took one whiff of the only food the German redhead had actually ever made in his presence, and attacked it with fervor.
But to be fair, Usagi did steal his meal during the test, so he was very hungry.
Anyway, back to the single dislike Misato had about being a Senshi...
Asuka smirked. “That Senshi magic can only do so much to help with your sagging breasts?”
“VENUS CRESCENT BEAM!”
As the others slowly stood back up, looking at the Sailor Mars-shaped hole in the wall, Misato continued. “The one thing I hate is that I just can’t seem to get drunk anymore.”
“Um,” began Maya, not wanting to set off the very violent woman, “maybe you should change back like the rest of us.”
“Oh, I guess I could,” came her reply as she finally noticed she hadn’t de-transformed as the others had.
Rei was looking out the hole, seeing Asuka’s smoking form on the ground, and smiled. “She is finally quiet.”
THUD!
As Misato hit the ground, the others decided it was probably a good idea not to drink a few kegs as Misato had, and then return to your human form. Apparently, like exhaustion, the Senshi form also delayed the effects of alcohol intoxication as well.
Shinji sighed, heading over to the phone. “I’ll call the paramedics.”
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Rei sat on the bench in the park, considering her options.
She was now Sailor Moon, and thus had a larger responsibility to the world than what Gendo Ikari had planned for her.
In her opinion, this was very good, as she doubted she could have much of a relationship with Shinji if he was reduced to LCL.
Of course, she also realized that they would need help in the long run. After all, even the Inner Senshi needed the Outers from time-to-time.
“I will need to forge new Senshi,” she muttered.
“Wark,” agreed Luna-Pen-Pen.
“Why are you wearing a Team Rocket jumpsuit?” she asked.
“Wark, wark wark.”
“I fail to see the problem. After all, you are not human; therefore, your nudity would not be an issue.”
Blinking, Pen-Pen could only nod as he removed the jumpsuit. After all, he was a penguin; what did he have to be afraid of?”
“AHHHH!” screamed a girl.
“PERVERT!” screamed another.
“Someone call the police!”
“Flasher!”
As the angry female mob started chasing after the nude penguin; Rei let out another smile. “Yes, Haruka-san was correct; it is fun to mess with people.”
With that, she made her way to NERV. She had the perfect four people already picked out to be the new Outers.
The only problem was how to get them to join without making trouble.
“It does not matter,” she finally decided. “I can have them eliminated in the name of the Moon if they become too much of a burden.”
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“Could you repeat that, daughter,” said Lilith, still suspended on the red cross, her lower half missing, as she gazed at her only remaining child.
“I am offering you the position of Sailor Pluto,” repeated Rei.
“O...kay,” said the Second Angel. “Why?”
“You fit the requirements as laid out by my research into Sailor Moon Dogma.”
“And those requirements are?”
“You must desire to remake the world in what you deem as a better image than what it currently sports.”
Lilith nodded. “That’s true.”
“You manipulate things behind the scenes, preferring to remain anonymous.”
“Very true; Adam’s bastards never realized it was me calling them.”
“You also have red eyes.”
Lilith blinked under her mask. “And how would you know that?”
“I had to get them from somewhere,” concluded Rei, as if it was obvious.
“Anything else?”
“You have not shown a desire to become one with Shinji.”
Lilith blinked. She could point out that she had never met the kid, or that she couldn’t share the memories of Unit 01 like she could with Rei.
But if she did, it might keep her on this damn cross, and her arms were starting to get tired. “Very well, what do I do?”
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Rei nodded as the systems inserted the entry plugs into the three Evangelions. “Now, if you agree, you must utter the phrase appropriate for the planets those henshin wands represent.”
Not seeing any change, Rei nodded before continuing. “It would perhaps help to tell you which planet first, would it not?”
The three Evangelions developed sweat-drops.
“For Unit 00 and the soul of Naoko Akagi, I chose to give you the wand of Sailor Uranus, since the major requirements for that position are that you be a highly violent, short haired woman with suspect issues of gender identity.”
Unit 00 growled.
“As for that latter issue, I could only surmise such by viewing your last psych evaluation from the Commander’s personal files.”
Unit 00 roared, before it shimmered in an array of lights. Slowly, the blue mecha shrunk down, becoming the form of one Dr. Naoko Akagi, her Space Sword in hand, her teeth clenched. “MUST ... KILL ... GENDO!”
“For Unit 01, I chose the mantel of Sailor Saturn.”
Unit 02 growled.
“I am sorry, but I could not risk it with the temper your daughter is famous for. Records showed she ‘inherited’ it from you. But I have given you the mantel of Sailor Neptune.”
Unit 02 remained silent for a bit, before nodding, and following the same pattern that both Naoko and now Yui were undergoing, as she too became Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu—a.k.a. Sailor Neptune.
As Yui reformed in her fuku, she marched over to Naoko, her former colleague. “Dear, would you like to go ... explain ... a few things to my soon-to-be dead husband?”
Uranus nodded. “Sure, but can we make it painful?” she asked, remembering how he had ... broke-up ... with her.
“Of course,” said Saturn, holding her Silence Glaive steady. “We are doctors after all; we should be able to keep him alive for a while.”
Rei nodded, her job was done. Though she did have to wonder where Sailor Neptune was going.
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Neptune sighed as she made her way to the surface. She was very proud of her daughter for all she had accomplished so far.
But the way she was treating Shinji? No, that would have to change.
“Really, you think she would have been a better dominatrix by now. Dear God, where did the family gift go in this one? Did she learn nothing from my old movies?”
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Sailor Pluto looked at herself in the mirror, amazed at her appearance. She could pass as Rei’s older—and sexier in her opinion—sister, or perhaps the mother who had her child at such a young age.
But one thing she would admit, she looked damn hot in a fuku.
*****Not yet complete...

[Draconis Stelanaris]

Sss... Ssss.. *almost falls out of chair* Bwahahaha.... Snicker.
That was beutiful, and very funny... I just whant to see Gendo's reaction to his wife's reserection, and the subsuquent beatdown he will get.... and I Just woke up so this is probably funnier than it should be...

[AscendedWarrior]

...
Well that was disturbingly funny... the only real question here is how far you plan on taking this... I don't think there is more to say.

[Daniel Jess Gibson]

You are a sick, demented individual.
You should be chained to your keyboard and beaten mercilessly if you stop typing.

[stratagemini]

You are a sick sick person... We need more Fanfic authors like you!
Fukufics Wants You! To Keep Writing Fanfics!

[Light02]

lol Shinji the good sharer already does that.

[Steiner]

Ye gods! In the name of everything that is cute and fuzzy! Is nothing sacred anymore?
Apparently not. Defiling innocent eyes and the likes are not that uncommon nowadays anyway.
I must say that this is so depraved and demented that it has actually become prime cackling material.
Oh, and just imagine one of the three "new" outers detransforming and accidentally stepping on someone.... Although some would consider being stomped on by an EVA a blessing *coughkensukecough* in disguise (a darn big, heavy and painful disguise)
Not much I can say to the "content" of what you posted - it's so far into the Hilariously-Mutilated-Series that I find myself wholly unable to do anything but complement you on your twisted genius.
/me bows to a master of the Twistcraft.

[Lightning]

this is going to be very funny when you finish it Innortal i can't wait

[Rei-chan]

Funny as usual. Can't wait to see more of where this is going. Particularly the Gendo beatings, can't get enough of those.