Inner Voice 2: A Naruto Omake File

[Innortal]

The Naruto Omake Files: Innortal Style
Chapter 2
Return of the Inner Voice
Disclaimer: I don’t own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.
I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.
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Quick note: Inner voices will be done “like this.”
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Tsunade looked over the roof tile in her hands, before glancing back towards Sasuke. “And you believe this has something to do with Sakura’s ... condition?”
The Uchiha nodded. “There is some weird chakra inside of it that seems to replenish itself from the environment itself. Since it appears to be the same one that hit Sakura, I felt it might be connected.”
What was left unsaid was that he had been hit in the back of the head with it, when one very happy and bubbly blond shinobi had tackled him to the ground. But if he was wrong, he figured it would be best to hear what he could expect if it was true rather than embarrass himself by admitting Ino had gotten the drop on him.
As he left, Tsunade continued to look over the tile. She could sense some strange energy in it as well, showing that it might very well have a connection to her now psychotic student.
But she needed a way to either confirm or deny the tile’s impact on things, and perhaps find a way to reverse it.
Now, if she could just find a volunteer.
“Damn it,” she muttered, five hours having passed since she decided to test it on the next person to come through her door. “This would be the one damn day they leave me be.”
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“Come on, kit. You act like you don’t have a pair!”
Naruto was dealing better with his seal than either Sakura or Sasuke were. Since his body was routing the influence through the demon, since all seals affected it first, he was able to remain mostly normal.
That wasn’t to say that the Demon Fox’s campaign was not having an effect. While he was normally only interested in perverted things with Sakura, the recent beating and the pep talks of his Inner Demon were making him check out the other beauties of Konoha. His mind was even flashing back to images of Temari, which soon escalated to anything attractive, female, and single that he had encountered on the road as a genin and during his training with Jiraiya.
“It lives!” cried the Kyuubi. “IT LIVES!” It was joyous at seeing proof that his carrier was showing signs of a sex drive ... of a sex drive of a heterosexual male in his teens.
Now, one may be asking why this made the fox happy. After all, didn’t foxes, even demon foxes, mate for life?
Yes, this is normally true. However, this was far from a normal situation. We have Naruto, a human male—a species not usually known for being monogamous in its history. He was a student of the most perverted ninja ever to be produced by The Hidden Leaf. As such, Naruto and thus the Fox had witnessed many acts of what many would call ill-repute.
Now, with all that, add a seal that was being directed through a very powerful being that was not used to being influenced, funneling the sex drive of a teen male through him, and we have a dual-mind creature who was slowly beginning to develop the mentality that it needed to nail anything and everything female, of legal age, of no relationships, and hot.
Blushing, Naruto looked around, trying to determine if anyone saw him doing anything he shouldn’t be doing. That was followed by a quick and panicked search to see if Sakura had somehow escaped from her locked and padded room to pursue him once again. After all, she usually arrived whenever he had such thoughts in the village, and they both fell into a situation where she would beat the hell out of him for it.
And ever since she had begun her training with Tsunade, she had become very, very, strong. So strong that Naruto was relatively certain he would have been paste a long time ago if not for the healing abilities granted to him by the Demon Fox.
“Right; now thank me by finding some tail!”
Naruto sighed, wishing the demon was just occasionally asking him to kill indiscriminately once again.
“Damn it, kit! Why won’t you go get laid! Hell, I don’t care is she makes Jiraiya look cute, just go find something female and do the mating dance!”
Shaking his head in reservation, he walked off towards one of the training fields once again, desperate to burn off this energy doing something less painful than what would occur if he followed the Fox’s advice and got caught.
“What are you, gay?”
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“Come on, you know you want to!”
Sasuke shook his head. He knew the seal was beginning to affect him, he could feel the dark powers of its chakra flowing through him even now.
Gods, it was making him want to be back with Orochimaru, or even training with Lee and Gai; anything to be rid of the voice.
“I knew it, you’re gay!”
“I am not!” screamed Sasuke, his patience long since eroded by the relentless teases of the inner voice.
“Prove it!”
Looking around, Sasuke spotted one of the girls who had always hounded him when he was at Academy. Walking up to her, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.
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Ino had been trailing Sasuke ever since he had left the Hokage Tower, waiting for a moment to tackle him again, and prove how much better a girlfriend she would be than Sakura. Hell, even her bust was larger than the Forehead.
And then he spotted her. She felt eternal joy well up in her heart as he walked over to her, determination in his eyes.
And then ... he kissed her.
And as it ended, she could only say one thing. “Huh.”
“What do you mean, ‘huh’?” asked Sasuke.
“Well, I always figured our first kiss would be powerful, fireworks, everything girls dream it to be,” she said, looking confused.
“And?” he asked impatiently. After all, he thought the kiss was pretty good.
Ino sighed. “And it was like ... this kiss was like ... kissing a family member.”
“WHAT?” yelled Sasuke.
“GAY!” screamed his inner voice.
And with that, Sasuke took off in rage, yelling out towards the heavens.
Ino sighed. “I mean, he could have done better. Maybe that was why Sakura was always after Lee of Naruto.”
Then the blond paused. Could Sakura have already known Sasuke was a bad kisser? Did she purposely keep up the chase to keep her away from the better kissers? “DAMN YOU SAKURA!”
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“And you feel nothing?” asked Tsunade to her first test subject with the seal.
“Nothing different,” said Anko.
“Okay, you can go. Bring me Jiraiya when you find him. This has his stink all over it.”
“Right,” said the snake-ninja, as she vanished.
Tsunade sighed. “Perhaps trying that seal on her was a bad idea. I mean, does she even have any inhibitions to lower?”
“AHHHHH!” came a scream from nearby. “LET ME GO!”
“COME TO MAMA!” came the yell of one Anko Mitarashi.
Tsunade sighed “I knew that wouldn’t work on her.”
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“Stop her!”
“I got her—urk!”
“No!”
Smiling, Sakura put down the last unconscious nurse who had tried to subdue her. The voice was still there, but she felt much better.
Because now ... now she knew what she had to do to make it all better.
“Naruto,” she growled out.
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“Achoo!” sneezed the boy in question, after the eighty-ninth shiver had gone down his back.
“Maybe a hot girl is fantasizing about you, kit?”
Naruto scowled. “Or another weirdo is about to come kill me.”
“All the more reason to get laid; no one should die a virgin!”
“Naruto-kun?”
The blond stopped, turning slowly to the voice who had called out to him, spotting the lady Hyuga. “Hinata!” he cried out, ignoring the Fox’s sad rants about how he couldn’t ‘see them jiggle’. “What’s up?”
“Um ... I was wondering how you’re doing...” she mumbled. “I went to see you in the hospital, but they said you were already released.
“Yeah, I got a lot better,” said Naruto, flexing his formerly bandaged hands. “It’s thanks to all that good food you made for me. You’re a great cook, Hinata.”
The girl blushed heavily, nearly fainting at those words of praise from her long-time crush.
“Oh, Hinata, I gotta ask; why do you always wear that bulky coat for?”
She immediately paled. Did he think she was a freak? Did he assume she was horribly disfigured and wore the coat to hide it?
“I mean, it ain’t that cold. Aren’t you burning up under it?”
“Good move, kit. Have her take it all off!”
Shut up, you!
“Um ... it’s weighted clothes, Naruto-kun,” she admitted. “But I guess I can take it off for a bit.”
As she tossed it, Naruto’s attention was not on the article of clothing that had just made a small crater in the forest floor.
No, his attention was riveted to the beautiful female form that had been revealed when said article was removed.
The Demon Fox nearly howled in glee as its container started showing signs of actually desiring a female, as it continued to observe the curves of the furless human.
It was even happier to see him rush to the female and embrace her.
That was until Naruto jumped back, revealing that he had saved Hinata from being hit with several kunai.
“Now that was foolish, my pet,” came the voice that began to send shivers down Naruto’s back. “You dare defy the will of your Dark Mistress?”
“You’re sick, Sakura,” yelled Naruto. “Why aren’t you in the hospital so the Hokage can fix you up?”
Sakura descended to the ground, smiling, as she felt Naruto’s eyes look at the outfit she had ... borrowed ... from Anko’s closet, a black skin-tight outfit that left very little to the imagination of anyone who looked at it. Of course why it had zippers at several areas and came with a matching hood that Sakura had decided not to wear was anyone’s guess. “Because I know what I need to be cured, Naruto. I need to show you how to ... please ... your Dark Mistress.”
“Like hell!”
The trio turned to see another girl, the blond haired Ino. “I won’t let you take the all the guys in the village who are great kissers,” she proclaimed. “Why don’t you leave Naruto alone and go after Sasuke?”
“Sasuke has not offended me,” said Sakura, blowing on her new nails. “Naruto is the bad boy who needs to learn proper ... discipline.”
“I won’t let you hurt Naruto-kun!” yelled Hinata, still conscious after nearly fainting when her beloved Naruto-kun had held her tightly as he rescued her. “Byakugan!”
Naruto could only baulk at what he was seeing.
“What did I tell you, kit. You’ve got three hot pieces of ass after you. Now be a man and take them all!”
No way! They’re about to kill each other!
“Then we need to give them something else to focus on!”
Before Naruto could ask what that something is, the Demon Fox proved that even sealed, he could still ... direct ... some of the chakra to do as he desired.
Of course, if you asked Naruto later on, after the Fox did what he did to ... help, the blond would fully disagree that it had ... helped ... his situation at all.
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“Greetings,” bowed Tsunade. “Welcome back to Konoha.”
“Thank you,” bowed Gaara, as did his older brother and sister. “I look forward to the meeting, as well as reuniting with old friends.”
“So what has the little brat been up to?” asked Temari.
“Well,” began Tsunade, before said person showed up.
“AHHHH!” screamed Naruto, nude, scared, and running as if the hounds of hell were after him.
“How dare you run from your Dark Mistress!” yelled Sakura in a black skin-tight outfit, as she gave chase.
“I’ll save you, Naruto-kun!” yelled Hinata, chasing after them, her oversized coat missing.
“I want my kiss, damn it!” yelled Ino, following.
The group could only stare, Shizine holding her head, shaking it in embarrassment.
It was only made worse as Sasuke walked by, screaming towards the heavens that he too was straight, and one bad kiss didn’t mean anything.
“Did we perhaps come at a bad time?” asked Gaara.
“Hello, cutie,” said Anko, materializing beside the dark puppet ninja.
Very little ever scared Kankuro. But this woman was pinging that needle way past ‘old Gaara’, and all she was doing was nibbling on his ear. Who knew what that needle would do if she continued on.
“Why me?” said Tsunade. When I find that bastard pervert, he is so dead!
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Jiraiya looked up from his ... studies, towards Konoha.
“You sense something?” asked Gamabunta.
The old Sennin nodded. “My senses tell me to avoid Konoha for a very long time.”
“What did you do?” asked the Frog King.
“Why is it always automatically my fault?”

[Ion-chan]

MWAHAHAHAAAHAHHAHAHHAA!
more damn it!

[Metroidvania]

Ino sighed. “I mean, he could have done better. Maybe that was why Sakura was always after Lee of Naruto.”

Probably or.
Aside from that, I didn't see any glaring errors.
Very nice, I can't wait to find out if one of my theories of what Kyuubi did is correct.....
And the thought of Sakura stealing Anko's clothes is more than a tad disturbing, especially since they probably wouldn't fit all that well.....
Interesting to see Naruto "notice" Hinata after she took her weighted clothes off.
Can't wait for more.