Untitled Ranma/Tenchi Crossover

This is for posting Fiction and C&C replies ONLY. Note this does not have to be a "fukufic" or evenfanfiction. All longform creative writing allowed. Replying posts must give actual commentary, no "GREAT IDEA" or "THIS SUCKS".

Postby Shadowbakasama » Wed Aug 02, 2006 8:06 pm

There is a reason that this isn't a good idea in a continuation fanfic. You are dealing with characters that have tons of canon and fanon behind them, then start out the story 2 years after with what amounts to a massively OOC main character. You can say that you'll do flashbacks to develope the character, but it will bug everyone until that is done and many will still call BS coughcough.
Most glaring plot-hole so far, simple, the fiancees, rivals, parents, and enemies would have found him almost immediately if he or she had ended up with amnesia. They wouldn't have put Ranma into something like witness relocation and would have listed her and/or him as a Jane and/or John Doe and matched up with a Missing Persons report. Mousse and Ryouga probably couldn't pull off a good enough scam to cover-up Ranma's disappearance, the others would have still come looking.
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It could work...

Postby Jadedmagus » Wed Aug 02, 2006 9:35 pm

I think that you could possibly do a good job with this, but it would be quite hard. 'In the middle of things' starts can be really good (for original fiction see Dune, or even most Epics), a fuku fic example being Aftermath by Trimatter. Problem is, to actually get to the point where it ISN'T a parody takes a Lot of well done backstory. Otherwise as someone before me pointed out, you cheat everyone of a real story worth reading.
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Postby nav » Wed Aug 02, 2006 11:07 pm

Thanks for all the imput. I think I will restart the story beginning with the kidnapping od Tennyo's daughter and tell it chronologically instead of using flashbacks and see how it develops.
All the comments will be taken into consideration.
Thanks again!
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Postby ranger5 » Thu Aug 03, 2006 12:39 am

Uhmmm. Maybe I'm a bit to laid back when I see something with potential...ran into some of the same with Tomboy. I still lose a lot of potential readers when they finish chapter one.
(Several people have told me they'd tried to read it several times, couldn't get past chapter two -- got bored out of their skull and made it to chapter 3 and really liked it from there -- Still trying to figure out how to fix that without losing my "surprise" first chapter) Heck I'm attempting to FINALLY answer a few questions I've hinted about in the next chapter ...And yes I have been thinking about it. Just have to many options as to how Haruka's gonna handle the truth, Ranma's reaction to her ... and a few others... an major writers block. Written that dang chapter to 10 pages or more on several ocassions. Maybe I just need to get one I can live with a post it.
I agree there does need to be a lot more explanation, and several good comments have been made. I do like the idea of starting the storyline sooner... However, I also think it's way to early to tell if this method is gonna work or not.
Hope no-one minds my numbering -- helps me lay-out my ideas better, and allows responses to specific points easier.
1. Does Ranma know martial arts ... no indication here either way. I really hope she does. But given the nature of this prologue I don't see any indication she doesn't. Depending on how Nav takes the "muscle memory" concept I can see Ranma still being an awesome martial artist...(even with amnesia) without a lot of the "flaws" Ranma has.
2. Given the nature of hot & cold water it makes sense that she'd choose to stay in the "easier" form to maintain. Without any memory she'd have little sense of the "need to be manly" that Genma drummed into him.
3. With Jurian powers I tend to suspect that Ranma is VERY capable of taking care of herself. The Jurian's also don't have nearly the "gender bias" we still do here on Earth. Misaki after all is Asuza's body-guard and Head of Security if'n I remember right. Imagine Ranma... or Kiyone if you prefer. With knowledge of how to use her Jurian powers, Jurian sword technique and martial arts. Funaho in one of the manga manages to take care of an assassin QUITE well.
4. Amnesia (more or less) was used in the "Pretty Girl" arc, and is common staple in fiction of this type. I'd say it depends on how Nav brings things out. It can be really bad or really good. There's a Love Hina cross that's doing this very well. (Can't think of the name). Can also have a lot of fun with this as she regains some of her memories. How will this affect her ... especially if she does have a boyfriend/husband.
5. I do STRONGLY agree with the need for "fleshing out" of the past two years.
6. As to the others searching for Ranma ... well... it depends. How quickly was Ranma taken off planet (if she was). Lots of other options as well. Perhaps Tsunami told them not to search for her "family" any earlier (or even told them to "hide" her). I don't see Ranma's fingerprints being on file. Most peoples aren't unless a security clearance of some type is needed and even if they were unless the Masaki/Juri family went to the police ... and Genma going to the police ... probably not. Nabiki or one of the others having connections that far from home ... probably not... So unless Ranma was taken to a hospital or the police ...
Yes a red-head would stick out a bit ... okay a lot. But keep in mind this is manga Japan ... wierd hair colors seem to be the norm.
Unless the Tendo's were to go on TV or Radio ... well how often do we really see pictures of missing kids from other cities ... other than on milk cartons. Yes it does work ... but lots of kids go missing every year
Heck it could be something as simple as those who found Ranma didn't live close to where they found her. THey might not want the publicity... after all a lot of what Ranma has been through would be considered child abuse ... and/or just plain abuse. Do they really want the authorities involved??
(Speaking of which ... has anyone read a story where Ranma saves the wife of an American diplomat ... and then whe (s)he gets home is basically beat on?? Leaves and is taken into protective custody. I've been trying to find that story again and can't... on ff.net I think.)
Recomendations
Continue the fic, bring out the past two years... or at least some good hints so we can belive there's a good basis for this.
Also can anyone confirm for me whther Kiyone's mom is Tenchi's "sorta" sister from the new Tenchi Muyo Ryo-oki DVD.
Last edited by ranger5 on Thu Aug 03, 2006 1:05 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Bliss » Thu Aug 03, 2006 12:49 am

ranger5 wrote:There's a Love Hina cross that's doing this very well. (Can't think of the name).

Was it Storms of Change by Kiikun?
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Postby camk4evr » Thu Aug 03, 2006 3:11 am

Actually, I don't have a problem with the 'amnesia' plot device nor the story starting two years after Ranma disappeared (so long as we find out what happened). I think this idea has potential but that this chapter is very rough.
Here are some of the problems that I had noticed:
1) Galactic Police should be Galaxy Police
2)You do say ship to much in the first paragraph
3) There are a lot of run on sentences and/or lack of punctuation in this chapter making it difficult to read. For example:
With her last reserve of strength she engaged the main engines before slipping into unconsciousness as the pod hurtled out of the flaming inferno that had once been a ship.

(shouldn't the escape pod's engines activate automaticly)
4) You keep switching tenses. STOP IT!
I'd suggest staying with past tense
5) Akane: Why would she slap Ranma? Why would Ranma stand for either being kissed or slapped by Akane?
6) Why would Ranma be surprised at 'being a lesbian'? His sexual orientation is unlikely to change because he lost his memory
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Postby Nekomata-sensei » Thu Aug 03, 2006 3:56 am

camk4evr wrote:6) Why would Ranma be surprised at 'being a lesbian'? His sexual orientation is unlikely to change because he lost his memory

Well, unless onna-Ranma was only ever straight to begin with. Remember, Kiyone doesn't know that the male form was her true form in this, she seems to believe it to be her girl form. As I covered in an earlier post on this thread, cannon Ranma has evidence that onna-Ranma might like guys, and only guys, but keeps it mostly secret, or doesn't realize it/is in denial.
Kiyone, in this case, might not realize her male form is also straight and likes only girls (or is bisexual), or she might only be surprised that she was in a lesiban relationship if she was bisexual. Perhaps because they are pretty rare?
Ranma might be bisexual but slightly homophobic, thus whichever gender Ranma believes to be his/her true form, Ranma would only allow him/herself to pay attention to in a sexual way the opposite gender to that.
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Postby nuriko » Thu Aug 03, 2006 7:14 am

ranger5 wrote:1. Does Ranma know martial arts ... no indication here either way. I really hope she does. But given the nature of this prologue I don't see any indication she doesn't. Depending on how Nav takes the "muscle memory" concept I can see Ranma still being an awesome martial artist...(even with amnesia) without a lot of the "flaws" Ranma has.

I would say that in this case, Ranma will retain the ability to do any maneuver, but will have to just go "on instinct" in a fight and won't be able to plan ahead. As said in other fics, the one thing you should NOT be thinking about in a fight is executing your current move, so this is the only area Ranma will be strong in without some work.
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Postby Anime_Freak317 » Sat Aug 05, 2006 11:45 am

You indicated that Ranma fell into the Unknown spring. It should be specified more on who fell in. Also, the Kyone we all know had green hair. And she was somewhat known for her reflexes, so this could be something to look into.
Also, being that of Jurai, shouldn't there be a space tree somewhere about. Over all, with others' comments, you should be able to make something great out of this.
JoT is on hold..again. Legal issues and work modes have been incresingly harsh. Chapter is 25% done. Sorry.
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Postby camk4evr » Sat Aug 05, 2006 12:09 pm

Anime_Freak317 wrote:You indicated that Ranma fell into the Unknown spring. It should be specified more on who fell in. Also, the Kyone we all know had green hair. And she was somewhat known for her reflexes, so this could be something to look into.
Also, being that of Jurai, shouldn't there be a space tree somewhere about. Over all, with others' comments, you should be able to make something great out of this.

It seems that Nav is using the OAV continuity which doesn't have GP officer Kiyone Makibi in it. It's more likely that Ranma was (re)named after Tenchi's mother (who was named Kiyone in the OAV series).
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Postby nav » Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:34 pm

You are correct, I am using the OAV continuity.
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