Cheb wrote:Turnig into a pokemon... Brrrr!
But I guess, stil better than dying.
I like this thing more and more
But was it a hallucination? Only her ArbyFish knows for sure.
My personal theory is that it was. When she told Arby about it, he acted as if he would have liked to have done it, but then he reasoned out that it wouldn't have been 'proper'.
Something that it helps to know about Arby is that he places great importance on propriety. His logic is extremely twisted by human standards, but it's consistant and, as we show in the "Shroom Day" story arc in
the NETTG sprite web comic, makes perfect sense to other ArbyFish. In fact, you'll be seeing more about that later in this story. He just has a very alien perspective.
But there goes my serious drawback. The more I like something -- the less I am inclined to notice its downsides or errors (if there are any).
I could find only one bug in the Chapter 7:
, she didn't have anything appropriate to wear for
a job interview.
Extra line break.
Fixed. Thanks for pointing it out.
You shouldn't find very many technical errors in the archived version of the story... I post it, and I'm an
editor. I go over the story very carefully to get rid of as many of 'em as I can. Occasionally something gets through, but for the most part, you should only need to comment on plot, style, and other story elements.
... + new words: bachelor's pad; schmooze.
You were able to find the definitions, right?
Not only that, but it's an incomplete transformation in some ways,
On the other hand, maybe it *does* give her the x10 speed and toughnes -- otherwise she would have been nothing more than a splat on that wall...
She
was just a splat on the wall, and although she hung in there on pure willpower, she eventually died from the internal injuries. She never got up after hitting that wall because it broke pretty much every bone in her body in multiple places. The fact that she was able to revive from it is another issue and the explanation for that is in future chapters. As I pointed out, the only thing that came through that impact relatively intact was her fuku. IIRC, other Senshi get tossed through walls and it just knocks the wind out of 'em.
So much for increased toughness.
Increased speed is also unproven, because she didn't actually have faster running speed or reflexes. She simply manipulated time so that she had the
effect of increased speed. Even then, the act of moving tore her muscles and ligiments.