Hotel Haruhi

[WG_Writer]

I started this some time ago and am unsure if its worth continuing. Essenially its a story where Haruhi starts causing crossovers by watching anime and merging elements of these worlds into her own. Let me know what you think (especially if I got Kyon right)

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Prologue: Haruhi the White Rabbit?

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Many days, when I made my escape from the voluntary prison of the club meeting after school, I found the walk home enjoyable, and yet depressing. It was, to me, just another way the world seems to balance out in the end. Although I found the trip to school annoying due to the same hill I did find the trip home after a Haruhi filled day relaxing all the same. I always found some days depressing, and had a hard time figuring out why. In the end though it was still the fact that I found some days depressing.

Yet another form of balance that life seems to hold is things that involve Haruhi. Events of her recent life, and mine as well as a result, seem to build up and drop off at times. I remember an old but still common phrase, ‘The calm before the storm.’ Never was there a more apt metaphor for life. Although in the end when I think of it I have to wonder just who or what the storm is, and if Haruhi is indeed said storm.

Many say Haruhi is random, chaotic, but she is not. Many say she is crazy, loopy or disconnected with reality, and yet knowing what I know, she may just be the sanest person in the world; or perhaps I am the one that went crazy and nobody noticed.

Thinking about my life since I met Haruhi, I am reminded of an American movie we had to study in our foreign cultures class recently, “Alice in Wonderland.” Sometimes I feel just as lost as she seemed with all the ever changing rules and world natures around her.

An excellent example of Haruhi’s character is a recent idea she came up with. She had apparently seen or read something recently that had a plot which included governments placing hidden messages in television shows. Of course Haruhi being Haruhi took this as a possibility, and started a crusade of sorts to prove it to be true. She had decided to force us to watch many anime through start to the end so we could find said messages. Foolishly I thought at the time it would be nice and normal, and safe, thing to do, by Haruhi standards anyway. For the time I thought that nothing could come of it, with retrospect, I now know better.

The first Anime we had opted to watch was Love Hina, and surprisingly it was Haruhi’s idea. I thought ‘Magical shopping Arcade Abenobashi’ would be more her style. Another sign of ironic retrospect given example. After we had watched Love Hina for three Hours a day for three days I was getting tired of it. I thought Haruhi was too, she seemed that way, how she kept staring into space and nearly dozing off several times only to be awakened by some random event from the other SoS Dan members. Perhaps if they didn’t keep kicking the sleeping Lion it wouldn’t have happened. Perhaps then things would have been quiet for a while longer. Deep down I knew that although hope is eternal, Haruhi’s patience and quiet periods are far from it.

After I arrived home and performed my nightly activities of eating, studying, doing homework and reading a favorite Manga, I prepared for bed. I found myself dreaming a strange dream that night which will not talk about beyond the involvement of both “present” and “future” Mikuru. It was what I awoke to in the morning that scared me. I awoke to a familiar yet unfamiliar ceiling.

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C1 - Love Hina I mean Haruhi

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As I focused on the ceiling above me a deep seated fear was building. My newly minted danger sense was not going off which meant nothing truthfully given my habit to walk into danger unknowingly. I risked a glance around the room I was in and then out the window of the room. What I noticed was that the room was not my own, nor was it one from my parent’s home. Outside the window was clearly bright and sunny. This left me running down a list of options.

Determining what happened is the first step in surviving these situations. My mind raced with possibilities, with me being in an unknown location so suddenly left a longer list then I wanted to believe, however the good news was with it being so bright outside it couldn’t be closed space as it always seemed dark. That was when I frowned, my first experience in closed space aside the only other time I encountered it was during the night anyway so that was not enough to go on as yet.

Sighing loudly was the only thing I could do at the time with the realization that some monster would soon come breaking through a near by wall trying to end my life only for someone, Nagato perhaps, to save me like the proverbial damsel in distress. I always found it ironic that I found myself in that role so often, only obviously not female. Fortunately I find myself being looked upon by others as the Haruhi expert, only the more I thought about that the more I realized that was something that usually led to my distress.

Shaking my head over the unfairness of life I got dressed and went exploring. I had found myself on the ground floor of the building I was in. It had two wings to it and an entry area. The wing I was in turned out to be full of apartments that most seemed inhabited. There was something bothering me about it, and yet my danger sense still failed to say anything. I went to explore the second wing which had only two floors, compared to the three of the first wing. It seemed to contain the kitchen, laundry machine and other essentials that the apartments were missing.

I was almost done with my rounds when I found a back door, or so I thought. It was at this time that I shuddered when I touched the door. Strangely my danger sense had nothing to do with it which worried me as I got the impression that I should not open it. This led me to a problem, I needed to know something, and every instinct told me to run, except the one that I was trusting. I can only wonder what caused that lapse of judgment; perhaps I was a masochist and didn’t know it. Either way I opened the door.

The sight that greeted me was one that I swore to always keep with me till the day I die. On the other side of the door were six girls all naked or nearly so, all looked like they were drying off after getting out of the hot spring I could see behind them . But the thing that caught my attention was Haruhi’s hair style. She had the hair of Naru Narusegawa.

It was then I felt the buzzing of my danger sense, and I realized what mistake I made, it wasn’t my danger sense after all. It was my ‘glaringly obvious incoming pain’ sense. Or as I refer to it now, the ‘too late to avoid violence’ sense.

Haruhi and I looked each other in the eyes for what seemed like an eternity, every though running through my head was filled with violence inflicted upon myself by the suddenly irate virtual harem of girls. For that eternity there was silence as if nobody knew what role they were suppose to play, even Haruhi seemed stumped as to what to do. For that eternity nobody could move or think. Slowly Haruhi moved first. She seemed confused, then confident like she just made an important decision, suddenly happy and nodding to herself. I lowered my meager guard in response and never saw the uppercut coming. But I was sure the entire city heard her cry of, “Kyon you pervert!”

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As I flew through the air with the greatest of ease and sorest jaw I ever had in my life, I tried to take stock in my situation. Unfortunately I realized I had no control of my trajectory and found myself headed toward a lake. After sighing I said the only thing I could before I hit the water, the only thing that I honestly felt like saying, “So this is what flying tomboy air is like.”

The splashdown into the lake was not as painful as I thought it would be, unfortunately that meant I was not screaming in agony at my limbs being sheared off on impact, which meant that I still felt the pain through them from the impact. Once I managed to overcome the pain I made my way to the side of the lake and collapsed, trying to regain my lost stamina. Once I regained enough strength I rolled on to my back and stared up into the sky hoping to figure out what had just occurred. However my biggest question was the first that came to mind, “Just how did I survive that and how did Haruhi get so strong?”

The answer unfortunately came to me from an annoying voice. “Perhaps the laws of physics were changed as well. That is something that needs more testing I think.”

I rolled to my right and noticed Koizumi stand crouched down smiling at me. “Any chance I can blame this on you?”

He continued to smile, although it did falter slightly, “If it would make you feel better.”

I wasn’t honestly sure if he meant it, but honestly I didn’t think I would feel better after he asked me that. Sighing I tried to get up, but thankfully he did assist me standing and getting to a bench. We sat a few minutes in silence as I recovered. I was hoping he would have some answers, he often seemed to. But I wondered how to approach the topic. I was fortunately that the prideful Koizumi decided to bless me with the knowledge that his allies no doubt had worked their hardest to obtain. His delivery would no doubt make me believe he discovered it all himself, not that I would believe that. My few glimpses into the true Itsuki s Koizumi showed him as not the greatest at gathering information.

He started again, “Not much seems to have changed so I guess we are lucky.” Of course luck was always dependant on whose point of view you are going by, “Most of the change seems to be that, what was a vacant lot is now a co-ed dormitory, predominantly inhabited by girls. The only two exceptions are myself, and you, the heir of a perverted old lady who setup this mess for you.”

I racked my brain, if the changes were so minor, and I could remember my family and everything from before the shift, then the old lady must be someone who I know, for a briefest instance my eyes bugged out, of that I was sure, for Itsuki seemed shocked briefly after I spoke my Aunt’s name, the Aunt that gave me the nickname Kyon.

I glared in terror as he nodded with his ever present, ever annoying, suddenly sincere smile. He continued where he left off, “Yes that’s the one.” He ignored my cursing as I turned to face forward and away from him. “It appears that she had had everything setup so that you wouldn’t have been aware of the girls as they had just returned from a trip of sorts and your aunt basically dropped you in charge of the building with their blessings.”

I laid my face into my hands with my elbows on my knees, speaking through my hands I let out, “This can not end well. Are we in a sealed reality?”

He seemed concerned as his smile dropped and he sighed, “We don’t think so.” He had paused a moment as if he were a high level security officer in a government trying to figure out if I have the clearance to know just how I was about to be killed. Eventually he continued, “Our powers are present but suppressed. If we force it we can use it but...” He sighed but maintained his smile. “It’s like walking through water. It can be done but it’s not really worth the effort unless we really need it.”

We continued to talk for an hour before we decided to return. As we walked back towards my new home, I could only wonder how to survive Haruhi’s wrath and her mind, and hope that I could figure out how to fix this mess. After all I doubted anyone else was going to help without being coerced. It is said that there are only two constants in life, death and taxes; I believe that that is only half right, there are two other constants in life, men will never truly understand women, and teenage girls bring pain and terror. I will grant the last point is usually strictly emotional in most cases however I stand by my point. Even poor Mikuru is an example if the only proof is when Haruhi used her to extort the computer from the Computer club next door.

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Once we arrived at the building I was able to take notice of the outside of it, and its resemblance to something was obvious, from the simple exterior, to the stairs leading up to the door, even the cherry trees that were clearly in bloom. I looked toward my shadow with my question written on my face, or rather an exasperated sigh and my hand covering my face in a classic face palm. Unfortunately he refused to respond to what I considered an obvious question. This led me to even greater levels of annoyance at him. Sighing internally I opted to voice my question so I removed my hand from my face and fought to not clench it into a fist then asked Koizumi, “This is Hinata-sou isn’t it.”

His plastic smile remained in place as he walked past and glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, “Technically it’s the Suzumiya-sou. Your benefactor…”

I had to interject, it just wasn’t right to call her that, not after Haruhi pulled this, “Aunt.”

He opted to continue almost unaffected, “Aunt renamed it, invited all your friends to stay, and then moved out of the country before you arrived. But she did leave it in your name.”

I stood there blinking for a moment, “Do I want to know why it’s named that?”

The smile never even twitched as he looked at me. And with that I knew I was doomed. I just knew that somehow someway my aunt would have actually done this if given the chance.

Shaking my head I headed back into the building and headed to where the hole in the roof was suppose to be, somewhere along the lines I lost my shadow. When I arrived at the roof I looked and failed to find my exit point. I checked again and after my third check only to find it still missing I was startled by a voice behind me. Spinning on my heel my eyes widened as I saw who was behind me. The first I noticed was not the one that worried me, Nagato after all apparently needed me alive and safe and did seem to care for me in some human like way, at least in so far that she was a data based organism simulating a human form.

No, Nagato was not the source for my current distress; it was the cute and seemingly innocent girl next to her that worried me, because last I checked she was gone and not coming back. The last time I saw Ryoko Asakura was when Nagato ‘Deleted her humanoid interface.’

Now I found myself in a situation that was not new to me. I had what appeared to be a nice person who tried to kill me smiling at me as if she did nothing wrong, almost as if I were a can of soda that she just finished and dropped in the recycling for disposal. Come to think of it that analogy was apt for what she had attempted when my usefulness to her had ended.

“No need to be so concerned, I am not here to attack you right now.” She had stated. Smiling like she were not just signing my death over to whatever she had planned. “Although I will admit we were just as surprised as my return as you are.”

Before I could speak a rebuttal to her Nagato interjected, “I can understand your concern, however this action of Haruhi’s went beyond the expected parameters that the Integrated Data Entity believed she could perform.”

I looked at her flatly, “Meaning that she did it and you could not stop her.”

Asakura looked at me and replied, “To say that we could not stop her would mean we were either willing or capable of resisting.”

That struck me, Haruhi simply brought Asakura back, in such a way that Nagato and her Integrated Data Entity was incapable of even resisting her. Deciding to get things off the mounting evidence of Haruhi’s divinity I opted to ask a different question, “That’s all and good, but which one of you fixed the roof?”

Both looked at each other then at where the hole I made earlier on my exit flight should have been before Nagato answered, “We do not know.”

Asakura posed cutely, and probably intentionally too, “We need you to keep Haruhi entertained until we can figure out what is going on.” When I neglected to move she follow up with her ultimate weapon, “Pretty please!”

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As I walked through the building towards my room I saw Tsuruya coming out of her own room. She promptly kept step and walked next to me as if it were by coincidence. She continued walking with me towards my room then followed me in after pausing momentarily at the door then entering and locking it behind herself. She smiled happily with her fang poking out as she spoke, “Sorry fors barging in like this. But I gots something I need to tell yous nyoro.”

I was worried, as far as I knew Tsuruya was just a normal school girl who was every bit as crazy as Haruhi. When it hit me that I thought That I became even more worried. Haruhi could only alter the world on whim, and she looked like a normal school girl, albeit obviously crazy, so it’s understandable that I could worry about what this psycho was about to unleash on me.

Suddenly her hair darkened slightly and the slightly ditzy look in her eyes disappeared along with her fang and, as I would notice later the slur in her speech. She then removed a pair of glasses from a pocket and put them on. However once she had done that I figured it out and voiced my observation, “Let me guess, you are a higher up in the Organization. Right?”

She raised an eyebrow before smiling and nodding, “Correct Kyon. I am actually Itsuki’s superior in it and mostly am to keep some distance from the SoS Brigade but not totally separate.”

“What about Mikuru, are you only pretending to be her friend?”

She shook her head, “Unlike Koizumi I do not need to pretend so much. Mikuru knows all about me.”

I felt my eye twitch as I looked at her, is there anyone at that school that is normal?

She continued obviously pained by my annoyance, “As yet we are still no sure the full extent of the change in you, especially why you survived that.”

As much as I too wanted that answer I wanted to know how Haruhi was able to do it to begin with, but as with all things Haruhi I am left with a deus ex machina as far as anyone else is concerned.

She handed me a card with an address on it and progressed in her speech, “Kyon, after school I ask you to stop by this clinic for an exam so we can ascertain the full extent of the changes. Normally we would not involve you like this, but given what is happening we cannot take an opportunity to examine anything. It may provide you a chance to prepare for what is to come.”

With that she removed her glasses and whatever changes she had performed earlier were gone. She walked towards the door and unlocked it preparing to leave. I looked down and wondered what it took for the organization to be useful, then it hit me, I looked up to see the door shut, the organization was in a panic, this sudden change was beyond what they expected and for the first time since they got their powers, they were afraid.

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[Dartz]

I like it.

I like the concept behind it. It's a fun, interesting concept that makes me actually want to come into the fic and read one. The narration then just pulls further, Is it wrong that I'm reading lines in Kyon's voice from the dub? To me at least, you've captured this quite well.

A few minor typo's stood out, but nothing really too serious. Most are the sort that'd get missed by a spellchecker anyway.

I'm struggling to find more to actually say really, I just want to read more of it.

“The splashdown into the lake was not as painful as I thought it would be, unfortunately that meant I was not screaming in agony at my limbs being sheared off on impact, which meant that I still felt the pain through them from the impact.”

This line could do with being revised perhaps. It might benefit from being broken up, or reworded slightly.

““Correct Kyon. I am actually Itsuki’s superior in it and mostly am to keep some distance from the SoS Brigade but not totally separate.””

This too. Again, it could use some rewording, or maybe being broken into two parts.

Other than that, I'm struggling. Then again, I'm still sort of re-learning how to do it.

[WG_Writer]

I like it.

I like the concept behind it. It's a fun, interesting concept that makes me actually want to come into the fic and read one. The narration then just pulls further, Is it wrong that I'm reading lines in Kyon's voice from the dub? To me at least, you've captured this quite well.

A few minor typo's stood out, but nothing really too serious. Most are the sort that'd get missed by a spellchecker anyway.

I'm struggling to find more to actually say really, I just want to read more of it.

Thank you, I put as much effort as possible to sound like Anime Kyon so to have someone notice and say they can hear the dialogue in his voice is gratifing. but please if I do mess up anywhere please point it out either here or in the future, honestly he can be hard to do at times.

The source for my idea is the easy one of Haruhi wishes something and it happens, over done granted but what isn't. no the truth is that unlike other fics I have read where there is one change and done, this will keep occuring randomly (Specifically because I want to only write until I feel enough has been established of the plot until the characters get an idea on how to restore the world.)

“The splashdown into the lake was not as painful as I thought it would be, unfortunately that meant I was not screaming in agony at my limbs being sheared off on impact, which meant that I still felt the pain through them from the impact.”

This line could do with being revised perhaps. It might benefit from being broken up, or reworded slightly.

““Correct Kyon. I am actually Itsuki’s superior in it and mostly am to keep some distance from the SoS Brigade but not totally separate.””

This too. Again, it could use some rewording, or maybe being broken into two parts.

Other than that, I'm struggling. Then again, I'm still sort of re-learning how to do it.

How about these

The splashdown into the lake was not as painful as I thought it would be, unfortunately that meant I was not screaming in agony at my limbs being sheared off on impact. Not to say impact was painless as I do assure you I felt impact and had no desire for it to occur again.

She raised an eyebrow before smiling and nodding, “Correct Kyon. I am actually Itsuki’s superior and I am mostly supposed to keep some distance from the SoS Brigade.”

[Dartz]

It still sounds awkward.

Try:

The splashdown into the lake was not as painful as I thought it would be. That meant I was not screaming in agony at my limbs being sheared off by the impact. That's not to say impact was painless, I do assure you I have no desire for it to occur again.

And

She raised an eyebrow before smiling and nodding, “Correct Kyon. I am actually Itsuki’s superior. Mostly I am supposed to keep a safe distance from the SoS Brigade.”