Silent Heart 03 preview and help

[PepperJAQ]

Part of the reason why I haven't worked more on Silent more is because i've been stuck at almost the same spot for many years.

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1824854/1/Silent_Heart

silent chapter 03 active

Pain is a song,
Each strain plays across a nerve.

Blood is a prayer,
Rising to God, her anguished cry.

Tears are the words,
Desperately reaching to the...

Silent Heart

Chapter 03

Glaive

03-01

A hard rain was falling as an evil presence approached the Tsukino homestead. Jade had dressed before teleporting near by and walking the rest of the way here. It didn’t take much to create such with her newly gained power. Black jeans and a green t-shirt under a blue rain coat she didn’t mind, but it felt odd to have the proper ladies undergarments. A pair of boots, both stylish and waterproof, kept her feet safe from the elements, or at least that was the appearance she wanted to give to the random passer-by. She didn’t really care about clothes one way or the other, as her power was such that she could be naked in Antarctic and not shiver. However, it would not do to draw attention to her quite yet.

‘She still lives here. I can practically taste the senshi magic.' After having awakened, Jade found that she had absorbed more then just power. Memories, ages of memories. Most where from Beryl herself, with some from the varied youma and other beings under the control of Metallia. There were even a few from said dark entity, but those were strange and incomprehensible. The neo-woman was quite pleased that some those memories where not as muddled as others; especially one or two of the fragments from Metaria herself. The Dark Queen that had Beryl tied around her finger had not only been connected to her, but that fool Tuxedo Kamen as well. And for that brief time, she extracted knowledge that would have been used against senshi had it not taken so long to do so. 'To think, Metaria would have been able to do this herself if they had not shown when they did,' Jade thought as some flashes of memory revealed to her aspects of the fall of her masters. She had to quirk a vicious smile at what crossed her mind next; 'Let alone what Beryl could have done had she at least let me finish my report. Just when she could have the first real step in taking out those damned senshi.'

"But that was the past, now for the present," she spoke as she luxuriated in the sound of her new voice. Something about it really made her feel powerful; the honeyed velvet of the octaves told her that she could command respect from any warm blooded male if she so desired. It was only the fact that she was once one of those males that made it the slightest bit disconcerting, oddly adding to the feeling of power. She would probably have to try it out later, perhaps as a new way to steal energy.

For now, business of a different sort. Standing in front of the gate to her destination, She could sense one, no two magical presences. Two out of five wasn’t bad, especially if she could take out the Princess first.

A princess. That damned sailor moon was the princess that they had feared the return of. How absurd. She remembered the time she, rather he, spent at the shrine and had watched the interplay between the Senshi of Mars and that girl. Jade could not fathom how that little twit was the enemy of her memories. But she was, and therefore the main target. Even if Jade fell in the first battle, as long as she dragged that brat with her to the depths, it would be worth it.

And so, she opened the gate to move in on her targets.

03-02

The slight rocking and quite clicks of the tracks made for a calm ride. Looking across the grayed, rain soaked expanse of city they were passing through, he couldn't help but wonder about his mysterious benefactor. Many questions floated through his mind before he settled on the most important one. Turning to his new employer, he sought to answer some of those questions, "Meioh-san," seeing that he caught her attention, he continued, "why me exactly?"

For a moment, a secretive look passed over Setsuna's face before settling in on a curious one, "Didn't I detail the reasons earlier?"

"Yeah, something about needing to handle the weirdness of your home or something. But I mean 'why me', I'm not the only tough guy around. True, I'm the best, but I'm not the only-"

"Actually, you are," Setsuna interupted. She turned her eyes to the storm outside, thinking on exactly what to reveal. Speaking quietly so as not to let her voice carry, she continued, "That artifact I used to watch you, I used it to confirm the best candidate for this job."

"Seems a bit much just to find a sensei for your little girl."

The skeptical tone in the teen's voice did nothing to dissuade her from trying to keep the biggest secret from being laid out. "True, but there has been... a history between many that i've known. I can't just grab the first fighter that comes along. Like i said before, Minato is not a safe ward, nor is it a normal one. You are the only one that I've found that fits the requirements for this job, plain and simple. Personally, I would have loved to been able to just walk up and ask you; however, the situation you were in would have made a straightforward requests far more dangerous to both you and my friends, thus all the posturing." Setsuna threw that last tit-bit homing he would pick up on it and forget the main point that she had yet to fully answer his question. She had a feeling that he might still suspect something more; given his history dealing with people, especially those having access to knowledge like she and that amazon elder did, she couldn't blame him.

"So, that large amount of money you offered?"

She would have smile to herself if she thought she could get away with it. "Just a stalling tactic. Your parents will do anything it takes to keep the girls away while you start Hotaru's training. If Genma can't, then I'm sure Nodoka will." Setsuna, secure in the idea that she was successfully distracting the martial artist from entertaining the idea that there is something deeper, was understandibly frustrated by the next line.

"So, seriously, what do you have planned for me?"

03-03

“Seriously!?!” a teen aged girl with pink hair tied in twin buns in a shape reminiscent of carrot shouted. “Puu was balling her eyes out?”

Her friend nodded, still perplexed by the whole event. “She just walked into my room this morning, hugged me, and said that she was going to ‘make things right’. The whole time, tears were streaming down her face.” Hotaru scrunched her face a bit at the odd image the remembrance caused to appear before her mind’s eye, “It was weird. Not in a bad way, just... not really like her.” Looking at her long time friend and confidant, Hotaru decided to brooch a subject that had been bothering her for a while. Something about the way Setsuna was acting told her that perhaps now should be the time to ask. “Usa, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful for you being here in the past for the last two years, but just why are you here?”

The once ‘chibi’ Usa quieted for a moment in contemplation. It was an odd picture for Hotaru to take in. Here they were, sitting on Usa's bed in the attic of her 'aunt and uncle's' house, but gone was the little girl that she had once known. the last time she came back, she was as old as Hotaru herself had been at the time, and so they had been growing up together that way ever since. They were even finishing up at Juuban Junior High together. Sitting here, like they were was something they had not done in all that time though, so it was difficult to picture this teenager that looked none too dissimilar to their princess sitting on her childhood friend's bed. Such a vision really brought home the importance of her inquiry.

"Well, to be honest," the future princess began, "I was sent here on an important mission to find someone." The huge smile that wanted to break out on her face was difficult to suppress, but she managed.

Hotaru, worried for her friend and her team's future, naturally had to know, "Who? Should we have our guard up? And... Why didn't you say anything sooner? Why hide it till now?"

"Mmm. Well, let's see. In reverse order; Because that person has been found, it was a secret mission, no, and the 'who'..." She couldn't help the mischievous grin bloom on her face this time, "is a secret."

Hanging on every word, Hotaru was totally caught of guard by her friend's game, "Ooooh, you! You know you can tell me. I'll keep it secret."

Looking at her friend, still smiling and a mirthful twinkle in her eyes, Usa couldn't help but answer, "Actually, you are the one I most have to keep the answer secret from." Seeing the exasperated look on Hotaru's face, she conceded a little bit of info, "But don't worry. This is more like a present then a threat."

Wide eyed, Hotaru tried to dig for more information, "Really? What kind of 'present' would this 'who' be?"

"I dare not say more for now." Usa recived a pillow applied directly to the forehead for her troubles.

03-04

"Meioh-san, I'm not an idiot. Been around Nabiki, Happosai, and Cologne far too long not to know when someone is playing an angle. What's yours?" The car they were traveling in was empty, thanks to the last of the patrons disembarking for their workplaces. Thus it was with no trouble that Setsuna heard Ranma's words.

Setsuna was having trouble not sweating. This boy was tenacious. It was bad enough she was still felt terrible about her revelations earlier that morning, but now he being more difficult than she thought he was going to be. She had already exhaused every angle save the direct one and there was no way she was going to straight up tell him that he was engaged to yet another girl. Such an action would certainly end things before they even got a chance to start. In the end, she really had only one choice, "Can you... keep a secret, Saotome-san?"

Ranma looked at his new employer, wondering what the secrecy was about. But then that was why he was not taking this at face value in the first place; this was his life after all, and there was always another shoe to drop. Rather then his usual casual attitude, he turned to her at gave a solemn nod, indicating his agreement.

Having watched this young man and the way he went about his life in the Gate, Setsuna knew that this was a definite sign of his promise. Usually, he'd just shrug or or smirk like it was a given, or in cases where he was trying to get what he wanted, he would nod vigorously while saying all sorts of 'promise' type wording. But this was a Ranma after Saffron. She could already tell he was changed by having taken a life, reborn or no.

She took a deep breath to keep her nerves. Having played the 'Mysterious Senshi' for so long, she at least had enough control to keep her poker face on. "This does not go beyond you and me," the dead serious tone she used, coupled with aged look in her eyes, made sure the point got across. 'This is it. He was going to find out sooner or later, but I have no choice.' So thinking, she realized the irony of her inner-monologue, 'Funny, of all the people to reveal our secret, it would have to be me.' Seeing him nod again, she continued out loud, "Do you know of the 'Sailor Senshi'?"

Ranma thought for a moment. It had been a while since the rumors had been about, but he was sure he remembered something about them. "Mmm... Yeah, I think i remember something about that. Girls in skirts fighting demons or some such." Rather then press forward, Setsuna let him wrestle with his memory for the moment. "Yeah, now that I really think about it, I remember the reports and the old specials on t.v. Weren't there something like eight of them?"

Glad that she had something to work with, Setsuna picked up from there, "Nine actually. Well, really more, but of the ones stationed here on Earth, there are just nine."

"Ah, thought so. But what would..." Maybe it was the stress of trying to put this delicate plan together and keep it working, or perhaps it was just finally being recognized for her work outside of her team (after all, she was the 'mysterious senshi' for a reason). Either way, Setsuna couldn't help but be amused by the look of sudden realisation on his face, "You're one of them, aren't you?"

Hook. Now the next step. If it were not for her iron-clad control of her body, she would be sweating buckets right now. So close to the truth he was, but she had to keep him just shy of it. If she could just line and sink him, she wouldn't have to worry about giving away the real reason he was called in for this 'job'. "That's correct, Saotome-san. I am the senshi of Pluto. My friends and roommates, as well as the ward that I have hired you to teach are senshi too. Hotaru, that is Sailor Saturn, has been weak most of her life due to some great ordeals." She prayed that he wouldn't ask what her ward's powers where. True, she could probably weave Hotaru into a good light in his eyes; however, right now she didn't have it in her. It was enough playing this out with out any of her usually forthsight.

"Why can't any of the others train her? Not that I want to argue myself out of a job mind you," he rationalized, but internally he amended, 'anything to get out of the craziness that is my life, even if for just a bit that is.'

Setsuna stepped carefully; here it was, the crucial point. Right now she would love for a battle to just erupt and break Ranma from his thoughts and save this whole ordeal for when she was better prepared. Alas, no such luck. She prayed to any god that would listen that this would give him the all the answers he would need for now. "True, especially with it being a sort of, I guess you'd call it a 'quite time' due to the lack of battles." She sighed, looking past Ranma, as if seeing something that wasn't there, "Saotome-san, before I searched for you, I was warned that a great danger is going to befall Hotaru sometime in the future. Sadly, for some reason, we other senshi aren't enough to save her." Setsuna pause and hoped that he would pick up on that line of thinking and take it to the right place. For the good of her nerves, she was not disappointed.

"Hence the bodyguard angle. So why train her?"

Well, mostly. While the boy was following the right track, the Senshi of Pluto wanted to scream. At face value, this should be easy, but he just kept digging. She didn't think Ranma was dumb in anyway, he was just a lot sharper then she had taken him for initially. Still, she was a master of her craft, that being the ability to give solid, truthful information without actually giving away the truth. She thought about him a moment, a spilt second really, and suddenly remembered just the kind of life she pulled him out of. All of his fiancees could fight on their own, and so he could trust their abilities when the chips where down. Even more so, when it was something that he knew they could handle, he would act even cockier and less worried about them. In that moment, she realised just how much respect he did give the girls, despite how much he did indeed not give them. With a slight hint of a smile, she answered, "Is it not easier to guard someone who can at least defend themselves from the minor threats?"

Ranma got a thoughtful look on his face on that point, "That actually makes a lot of sense. I suppose this is a threat the sort that takes more of a hands on approach rather then the hearts and stars you girls throw, right?"

'So close and yet so far,' Setsuna missed the insult, still being too off balance to think about much else than keeping Ranma on the right track without scaring him off. Well, she had nothing left at the moment other then to stroke his ego and hope for the best. "Like I said, after much searching, you were found to be the only one with the experience and strength that would qualify for the position."

Little did she know that Ranma was a lot more observant then she gave him credit for. He didn't always throw out insults just because he was uncaring or mean spirited, though he had to admit that he had been just that a great many times in the past. Much like taking a few jabs at an opponent in a fight, sometimes how someone reacts to a remark that blows off their skills can tell a lot.


03-05

A knocking at the door brought Kenji out of his zoning on the t.v. With With Ikuko at the store, Usagi about with her friends, and Usa up in the attic with Hotaru, it was left up to him to find out what the disturbance was. He did have to wonder, what kind of person would be out in this sort of weather? Most certainly not a sales person and it was too soon for Ikuko or Usagi to be back. Well, nothing left but to open the door and find out.

The door was opened, and in front of Kenji stood a woman, though he saw none of that. It was her eyes that had held him. Sadly, he had little in the way of a sixth sense. Kinda surprising when you think about it; after all the magical and terrible events that seem to happen around his family and friends, you'd think it would have developed at least a little bit of one. If he had, he would have sensed the dark power wafting of this strange creature before him. Well, that and she had glowing eyes of blueish-green. Of course, being that that was the source of the spell that held him, there wasn't much he could do if he sensed or saw anything anyway.

Jade smirked. It was so easy to put simple, weak minded humans under her spell. Time indeed pasted since last she was free, but nothing had changed when it came to these silly mortals. With a slight mental push, she had the man welcoming her in and leading her to her targets. She could sense them, the ambient magic of the senshi. This whole house stunk of the sent. Jade wondered to herself at how she could have missed such obvious markers of her enemies, but then perhaps back then she was far less of a being then she realized.

The plaything she had collected lead her up the stairs and to the door to the attic, but stopped him short of opening the door for her. While she did not care for the life of the mortal persay, she didn't just want to throw away a possibly useful hostage or a possible lead her to the other senshi. With another mental command, Kenji stepped to the side while she primed her powers.

The phrase "Lets make this flashy." was spoken through a manic grin just before word followed form and the doorway was lit up like the fourth of July.

03-06

Still on the train, Ranma wondered about this strange new turn in his life. Especially in connection with this woman that had admitted that she was one of the infamous 'senshi'. The fact that she was willing to inform him of that fact told him two things. First, that she despritely needed him. The second...

'She is still hiding something, but it looks like this is all I'm going to get out of her. I was serious about not arguing myself out of a job and if I poke any closer, she might just decide I'm more trouble then I'm worth. I'm no Nabiki, and definitely no where near as sneaky as Colonge in this sort of situation. That and I really need to get a way and sort out my feelings... That is, as long as Minato doesn't turn out to be as big a mad house as Nerima is.' As he chuckle a bit at the last though while considering how well his luck would hold, he decided to let her off the hook for now. The was still another shoe to fall, and as long as he knew that, he felt that he could take what was coming. Puffing up his chest, he gave into the praise, "True, I am the best after all."

He watched as some of the tension left her eyes. True, they were the only indication of anything wrong with her; however Ranma figured that if he could see that, then she must have been really on edge. As such, he decided to change the subject for the moment. "So, what is Hotaru like?"

The woman beside him softly transformed before his eyes. True, it was subtle, but he was still in the right mind set to pick out these things. She moved from being a woman of business to a mother. He didn't really know what all the signs were specifically, just that that was what the sum total of them portrayed.

Having anticipated the shower, Setsuna had brought an extra umbrella. As such, Employer and employee remained relatively dry while continuing their walk from the train station.

03-07
(jade gets to the attic/usa's room and begins her attack)


03-08
(setsuna arrives at the tsukino home and hear sounds of battle)




chapter 03 floating scene:

So how do you know that I’m not a nexus of chaos? I mean, I’ve done things to…

‘when in rome’ would be the phrase I’d use in this case. You had to find a way to release the stress before you broke, so you would do what seemed to be excepted by your peers as excusable actions.

Then what about them? Couldn’t they be doing things for the same reason?

True, some of them could be. Like with mousse and ryoga. I have no doubt that they are at least somewhat tied to chaos, but it could be mostly in their blindness and lack of direction perspectively. But they aren’t like you. You have actually sacrificed for friends and even an enemy or two. You’ve been a jerk to them, but you’ve also, in your own way, been thoughtful of them. Truth be told, we may never know for sure if any of them are actually capable of being allies of order, but as it stands right now, it’s too dangerous to bring them with us.


Any comments appreciated. Want to get past this chapter finally and get to the stuff I've been wanting to for the last... 3? 5? years. XD

[Pale Wolf]

Well, first off I would recommend you link to the previous chapters... it's been four years since you updated this, man, I had to reread so I had some idea what was going on.

I'll edit in the link for you.

Now, proceeding with fine-toothed comb...

last tit-bit homing he would pick

Tidbit, hoping.

now he being more difficult

He was.

you'd call it a 'quite time' due

Quiet.

Time indeed pasted since last

Passed.

stunk of the sent.

Scent.

possible lead her to the other

Possible lead to.

just before word followed form and the doorway was lit up like the fourth of July.

Wouldn't form follow word? She said it then blasted.

need to get a way and sort out

Get away.



Okay, overall... decent, but on reread gah the chaos/order thing is kind of grating on me here. Okay, let me restate... it's really grating. It was common back when you first started writing this, but honestly it was tired and painful even back then. The rest of the story is reasonably solid, if a bit heavy-handed on the drama, but the order/chaos thing is like peeling out my own toenails.

And I have no honest idea what's up with Genma. Half the time he's acting like a grand planner (reactivating Jade? Check), and then he gets completely suckered by Pluto? The best read I can make on that is that he's possessed by something and isn't actually aware when he's doing the 'grand plan' stuff.

[PepperJAQ]

mmm. thanks.

As far as the 'chaos' thing goes. I'm thinking about rewriting that part a bit. Though the main point of it was always that Ranma was -not- a 'chaos generator'. The idea was to run counter to what most do with Ranma when the idea of chaos as more then just a mere concept was brought up and was born from the same grating feeling that both of us have about that topic.

As far as Genma; yes, he is a master planner, but the whole idea here is to keep the reader guessing and going 'wtf' till the final reveal on what I have planned for him. And yes, the usual 'nothing is as it seems' fully applies here.

But, yeah. I was rereading that part that you are refering to... The one where they are in the throne room going down that list of 'Avatars of chaos in Nerima', right? Yeah, clunky and not really what I was going for. Also clunky is how I bring in "Jade" into the house for the attack. Kinda hung up on that bit at the moment.

{edit} Ick, looking at that list of corrections... Ouch, didn't think I was that bad. ^_^; Those shall be fixed. Thanks again XD

[Pale Wolf]

mmm. thanks.

Not a problem, it's what we're here for

As far as the 'chaos' thing goes. I'm thinking about rewriting that part a bit. Though the main point of it was always that Ranma was -not- a 'chaos generator'. The idea was to run counter to what most do with Ranma when the idea of chaos as more then just a mere concept was brought up and was born from the same grating feeling that both of us have about that topic.

I agree in principle, but honestly, even the mention of it is problematic. Especially since you have it intertwining with Sailor Moon, which despite its final boss being named Chaos, means it in the Greek sense, and doesn't really have order-versus-chaos going on anywhere, yet Pluto, Serenity, etc are talking about this stuff like it's generally understood - while we, the readers, are wondering when this ever came up.

Might be better to drop the order/chaos angle entirely (at this point, I think the trope is such a dead horse that you can't even subvert it anymore), it doesn't really seem to be intertwined much with the actual plot (given you could substitute more or less any antagonist for whatever Genma's supposed to be).

Honestly, I'd like to see Saturn's eventual fate in the future be tied back to whatever the villain is. Otherwise it sort of comes out of nowhere to tie together the romance threads.

As far as Genma; yes, he is a master planner, but the whole idea here is to keep the reader guessing and going 'wtf' till the final reveal on what I have planned for him. And yes, the usual 'nothing is as it seems' fully applies here.

Okay, as long as the inconsistency's intentional, I'll wait to see.

But, yeah. I was rereading that part that you are refering to... The one where they are in the throne room going down that list of 'Avatars of chaos in Nerima', right? Yeah, clunky and not really what I was going for. Also clunky is how I bring in "Jade" into the house for the attack. Kinda hung up on that bit at the moment.

Honestly, that works fine as is (I don't like the 'weak-willed mortals' thing, but then again it is from Jade's perspective, not an observer). Jade's gotten over the overplanning thing, and frankly walk in and kick the door down and go in blasting is a refreshing change from Sailor Moon villains. Jade is obviously rushing and failing to get proper intelligence on what happened in the time s/he was gone and who's actually in that house, but it does fit.

Though you may wanna have Hotaru and/or Usa get a bad feeling beforehand, if Jade gets the drop on them completely I foresee at least one major injury here.

[PepperJAQ]

As far as the 'chaos' thing goes. I'm thinking about rewriting that part a bit. Though the main point of it was always that Ranma was -not- a 'chaos generator'. The idea was to run counter to what most do with Ranma when the idea of chaos as more then just a mere concept was brought up and was born from the same grating feeling that both of us have about that topic.

I agree in principle, but honestly, even the mention of it is problematic. Especially since you have it intertwining with Sailor Moon, which despite its final boss being named Chaos, means it in the Greek sense, and doesn't really have order-versus-chaos going on anywhere, yet Pluto, Serenity, etc are talking about this stuff like it's generally understood - while we, the readers, are wondering when this ever came up.

Might be better to drop the order/chaos angle entirely (at this point, I think the trope is such a dead horse that you can't even subvert it anymore), it doesn't really seem to be intertwined much with the actual plot (given you could substitute more or less any antagonist for whatever Genma's supposed to be).

Yeah, I think that ship has sailed. probably dropping it will help that scene in the future be a little more natural and not as clunky

Honestly, I'd like to see Saturn's eventual fate in the future be tied back to whatever the villain is. Otherwise it sort of comes out of nowhere to tie together the romance threads.

As far as Genma; yes, he is a master planner, but the whole idea here is to keep the reader guessing and going 'wtf' till the final reveal on what I have planned for him. And yes, the usual 'nothing is as it seems' fully applies here.

Okay, as long as the inconsistency's intentional, I'll wait to see.

Let's just say that all of what is going on with Genma and what happened to Hotaru in the future are related. XD

But, yeah. I was rereading that part that you are refering to... The one where they are in the throne room going down that list of 'Avatars of chaos in Nerima', right? Yeah, clunky and not really what I was going for. Also clunky is how I bring in "Jade" into the house for the attack. Kinda hung up on that bit at the moment.

Honestly, that works fine as is (I don't like the 'weak-willed mortals' thing, but then again it is from Jade's perspective, not an observer). Jade's gotten over the overplanning thing, and frankly walk in and kick the door down and go in blasting is a refreshing change from Sailor Moon villains. Jade is obviously rushing and failing to get proper intelligence on what happened in the time s/he was gone and who's actually in that house, but it does fit.

Though you may wanna have Hotaru and/or Usa get a bad feeling beforehand, if Jade gets the drop on them completely I foresee at least one major injury here.

The first attack is her taking the idea of not overplanning a bit too far. Ranma is going to show up during this battle (there is a time difference between what's going on with Jade and Ranma's journey from Nerima). When the short fight is over, Jade runs and decides that there is always a happy medium.

[Dumbledork]

I'll have to reread the first chapters before reading the new material, but I already found some mistakes in the summary at ff.net

Setsuna recieves (1) a message from her future self... but to save the future of mankind, she must sacrifice Crystal Tokyo by bringing two lonely hearts together. a (2) crossover with Ranma chapter(3) 02 up. late (4) but marry (5) christmas. c (6) and c welcome.

(1) receives

(2) A

(3) . Chapter

(4) Late

(5) merry

(6) C

[Pale Wolf]

Yeah, I think that ship has sailed. probably dropping it will help that scene in the future be a little more natural and not as clunky

Seems likely. It's unfortunate, since it was fairly innovative back when you came out with this.

Let's just say that all of what is going on with Genma and what happened to Hotaru in the future are related. XD

Eeeexcellent.

The first attack is her taking the idea of not overplanning a bit too far. Ranma is going to show up during this battle (there is a time difference between what's going on with Jade and Ranma's journey from Nerima). When the short fight is over, Jade runs and decides that there is always a happy medium.

Well, it's obviously not the smartest plan, but it's a great step above Sailor Moon's usual villains, and it's not like a temporary roadblock necessarily needs to fight intelligently. Of course, if they learn to do so, that does help their cause

[Ellen Kuhfeld]

“Puu was balling her eyes out?”

That sounds rather obscene. Wouldn't bawling her eyes out work better?

[borgrabbit]

This whole house stunk of the sent.

This whole house stunk of the scent.

First, that she despritely needed him.

First, that she desperately needed him.

Eagerly awaiting more.

☺☻♥♦♣♠•♂♀♪♫☼►◄↕‼